Canterlot High

"Eat up, Pip!"

"Ugh, but it's dog food flavor!"

"Do it! Do it! Do it!"

Later that day, the Crusaders joined Pip and I at our table during lunch. Scootaloo, being the good friend that she is, decided to subjugate us all in a horrible session of Bean Boozled.

Suicidal? Yes, but I needed something to take my mind off the filth of crazy that was hard to wash out. Plus, it was all worth it just to see Pip eat a dog food bean.

Payback's a , mudda suckah!

But anyways, everything was perfectly fine. It was just pretty cool having more friends over at our table. There, I dubbed it the mildly adequate table!

"You're up, Button." Sweetie stated. "It's either juicy pear, or booger."

"You're on!" I reached into the box of beans and proudly popped a green bean in my mouth.

It was incredible...ly terrible!

"Nasty, isn't it?" Scoots laughed.

"Mmph!" I muffled, failing to keep a straight face. "That's not a juicy pear. That's a juicy ass crack."

"Power through it, Button!" Sweetie cheered. "You got this, big guy!"

I took a deep breath and barely managed to swallow that abysmal thing down. I'll surely get strep throat alone from something so non-nonheinous, but at least Sweetie cheered me on.

"I fear NOTHING!" I chortled triumphantly.

"Heyyyyy, Button."

Except...

HER.

"Diamond, ya feelin' alright?" AB asked.

"Oh, I'm perfectly fine," she purred, shooting me a quick seductive glance as she sat down beside me on the right. "Simply a-okay. I found some comfort."

I cringed as I felt the amorous adolescent rest her hand into mine. I whipped my arm across my lap before she could wrap those petite fingies around it.

"Well that's awesome," Sweetie squeaked. "What happened?"

"Oh, let's just say I found a little pocketful of sunshine." Diamond giggled, slipping a hand in my back pocket. "Isn't that right, Button?"

"RIGHT!" I blurted out loud, accidentally dropping the bean that was in my grasp.

My startled jump shook Diamond's hand away.

"I got it!" Sweetie and I exclaimed, reaching down to the floor scrambling for the little piece.

Sweetie and I kinda sat there for a moment as we slowly looked down between us.

My hand was rested delicately upon hers.

"Heh, sorry about that..." I chuckled nervously.

"All good, silly. It's no prob..."

It felt like we were suddenly placed in a bubble that silenced the entire room and just had us around. Sweetie's face went pink as we exchanged a warm smile.

"..."

"..."

Man, she is so beautiful.

"Umm, guys?" Scootaloo chimed in. "Did you find treasure down there or what?"

"Uh, no, I was under for too long," I mumbled. "Too much blood in the head, ya know?"

"Ditto!" Sweetie nodded nervously.

"Uh huh..." AB said skeptically.

"Okay then..." Diamond uttered.

The momentum of fun kinda went down a smidge after that, but overall was a good time. Minus the sensual advances of one confused succubus...

After lunch, I rummaged through my locker for the books for my next class. I stocked my GameGuy with cartridges to distract myself from useless info and fill my brilliant mind with twice as useless game info.

It's a hard nerd life.

"Hey, Button." Diamond said behind me.

"Good Lord, Diamond, please don't nibble on my ears again!" I yelped, backing up against my locker.

"I'm not, Button." she uttered calmly.

"Oh, thank goodness. For a moment there, I thought-"

SLAP!

"Oww!" I winced, cupping my cheek. "What was that for?!"

"Don't toy with me!" Diamond hissed, pinning me against the lockers. "We both know what you did!"

"Ughhhh, for frick sake, I didn't do jack!"

"But you seem to wanna DO Sweetie Belle."

"Sweetie Belle? What are you talking about?"

SLAP!

"OW!"

"I am referring to lunchtime at precisely 12:28 AM, while you were all goofing around, you were making googly eyes at her!"

"I did not make any googly!"

"Don't forget who you're with, dude!"

"But we're not even dating, you don't own me!"

"I'll win you over soon enough, I fight for what I want. And whatever I want..." Diamond grabbed me by the shirt collar and leaned into my ear.

"I always get." she whispered, tugging on my ear with her moist lips. "Stay sexy, bae."

My legs went limp and I slid from the lockers to the floor as I watched Diamond walk away, swaying her hips.

I think I just crapped myself.

Man, what a classic story.

Boy meets girl, boy likes girl, boy eventually regrets that last part upon witnessing how bat insane girl is. How timeless, how touching.

It was the end of school and I was sitting outside ruminating my situation. I just couldn't believe how out of control this whole Diamond issue has gotten.

I felt this unsettling feeling in my heart. Maybe it was the thought of Diamond evolving into a controlling person, maybe it was the possibility that I might be adding to another person's pain without realizing.

Or maybe it's the rubber arrow that randomly bounced off my chest.

"Sorry, Button!"

I snapped out of pondering mode as I saw Pip and a small group of his friends approaching me, wearing shoddy sets of armor made from tinfoil and cardboard.

"Oh, it's alright, bro," I sighed, handing the non-lethal weapon back. "What are you up to out here?"

"We're after-school LARP-ing!" Pip stated boisterously. "You wanna join, pal?"

"Normally I would, dude, but not today."

"What's the matter?"

"Just craziness after craziness with everything."

"People need to stop and talk things over for once." a girl with poofy red hair shook her head. "Pure insanity."

"Silence, Twist!" Pip huffed. "Thou be a witch, so nyah nyah to thee!"

"Wait, you're supposed to be a witch?" I asked, observing her non-witchy outfit.

"Not a witch!" she sighed. "I just asked for equal quest earnings for men and women!"

"WITCH!" the nerds barked. "WIIITCH!!!"

I pulled Pip aside while the nerd herd babbled on.

"What's the sitch, pal?" Pip asked.

"One, never say that again. And two, Diamond has gone cray cray!"

"D'ah, don't use that word!"

"What? Cray-"

"Never ever call a girl crazy, friend. That is a bloody death wish!"

"Urgh, thanks for the advice. But what should I do then?"

"Did you report her to Principal Celestia?"

"No, I can't! She's still hurting, I don't want to screw things up further for her. I just know that, deep down, she doesn't mean any harm."

"Oi, tell that to your cheeks, she really did a number on them, didn't she?"

"Oof, yeah. She's a fiesty one, I'll admit."

"My goodness, just wait until she discovers your interest in Sweetie Be-"

"..."

"She knows, doesn't she?"

"Well, I...I wouldn't say...I mean, it wasn't fully...I guess you could say- yeah, I think she knows."

That was a scary thought to me. I didn't want to rope anyone into whatever drama I'm involved in, especially poor Sweetie Belle.

I couldn't let that happen.

"No matter," I held my head high. "I'm putting my foot down. I like Sweetie Belle and Diamond's just gotta have to accept that. Sooner or later, she'll snap out of it and lose interest."

"You sure about this?" Pip sighed.

"Don't worry, she'll be back to normal soon. I just know it."

Did I forget to mention, earlier that day, I found this in my locker?

"Because I love you. 💖
~DT

Oh, how naive and stupid I was...