Rassolnik

by AndwhatIseeisme

Rating: mature
Tags: Sex, Slice of Life, Petunia Petals, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Barrel Twins, Porn, Fetish, Comedy
Length: 4699

Pickle and Barley Barrel sneak out on a cold winter night for some loving. But are they being as sneaky as they think the are?

Pickle and Barley have a problem. They want to have sex with each other, but they're still too young to be doing it without getting in trouble. Barley thinks she has a clever solution to the problem, that will let them do what they like without getting caught.

Spoilers: She's wrong.

Warnings: Incest, foalcon, mentions of past adult on child sex, and my ever continuing struggles transcribing Petunia's accent.

THIRD PLACE WINNER in the Found Out February contest over at the Incest is Wincest group.

Published 2021-02-15 00:40:00 UTC
Last updated 2021-02-15 00:40:00 UTC

That's an Actual Soup Made With Barley and Pickles. I Have to Live with the Knowledge that Pickle Soup Exists, and Now So Do You

"This is a really stupid idea, Barley," Pickle complained as the two pegasi snuck stealthily through the town of Hope Hollow.

"Shut up, Pickle," his sister hushed him, gazing around nervously to make sure nopony else was about.

"Well, it is," Pickle continued to complain.

"You're a stupid idea," Barley eloquently retorted.

"No, you are," Pickle replied.

"You are."

"You are."

"Well, you're a stupid idea and a lousy flyer," Barley said, upping the ante of their insult game.

"Hey, at least I'm not the only pegasus in Equestria who's afraid of heights," Pickle countered.

"I'm not afraid of heights, dickbutt," Barley said defensively.

"Sure you aren't," Pickle scoffed. "You'd just rather sneak off in the cold of night to find a bush to rut in and hope nopony finds us, rather than doing it up on a cloud where almost nopony else in town could ever see us."

This was hardly the first time that twins had shared this argument. Ever since the Rainbow Festival had introduced them to the joys of sex, it had become their third favorite thing to do together, after flying and talking about how awesome Rainbow Dash is, of course. Unfortunately, since they'd yet to receive their cutie marks, they were still considered underage by other ponies and had to keep their rutting a secret, lest they have to suffer the horrors of a lecture or, even worse, a grounding. Not that finding a good hiding spot should have been difficult for them, as Pickle was quick to remind his sister. Hope Hollow didn't have many pegasi living in town, and the few who did live there weren't nearly as good at flying as the two future Wonderbolts were. There was no reason that the two couldn't find a good cloud somewhere far off and high up where they could have sex as much as they wanted with no chance of discovery.

No reason except, of course, Barley.

"Just because I don't want to do it on a cloud doesn't mean I'm afraid of heights, Pickle," Barley continued. "You know I'm just as good a flyer as you are, and even Rainbow Dash was impressed by our sick moves."

"We are pretty awesome," Pickle added. "But that doesn't change the fact that you're afraid of being the first pegasus to fall through a cloud."

"Look, I know it's silly," Barley admitted, "but that doesn't change the fact that I don't trust those clouds to support the two of us when you're mounted up and doing me. Okay? That one time we did, I swear I could feel you pushing me through the bottom with every thrust, and that it was only a matter of time before it would have given out and sent us both falling."

"But that's ridiculous, sis! Do you have any idea how many pegasi live up in Cloudsdale?" Pickle asked.

"Do you?' Barley replied.

"Not the point," Pickle continued. "The point is that all those pegasi are up there doing all sorts of things, including rutting eachother with more force than I can manage, and no pony has ever fallen through the clouds. At least, no pony with wings has."

"I know, all right," Barley admitted. "I know it's silly, but that doesn't stop me from getting nervous when I think about it. And don't you remember what Rainbow Dash said? She told us: 'The most important thing to keep in mind when fucking is to make sure the other pony is having as awesome a time as you are'. So, if I can't enjoy myself doing it on a cloud, then you shouldn't push me, isn't that right?"

"Alright, fine," Pickle relented, unable to argue against the sage advice of the Rainbow Dash. "But, for the record, rutting you in the bushes out here in the cold and wind isn't exactly my first choice of location."

"Yeah, mine either," Barley sighed. "But we don't exactly have a lot of other options. We're both too loud to do it at home without mom and dad hearing us, no pony else is going to let a couple underage foals have sex in their homes, and we don't have a private club house like the Rainbow Dash Fanclub in Ponyville apparently has. Face it Pickle, until we're at least old enough to have sex at home without getting in trouble, this is our best option."

"I guess so," Pickle reluctantly admitted.

"And in the meantime, you have to admit that my idea is pretty much foolproof," Barley boasted.

"I guess..." Pickle hesitantly agreed. In truth, he thought his sister's idea was actually pretty clever, but he'd sooner let her do that thing to his butt that Rainbow had done than admit it to her.

The twins' solution to finding a place to fuck without anypony stumbling upon them was a simple one, but effective. Everypony who spent any time in Hope Hollow during the long winter months was quick to learn that night time was best spent indoors near a warm fire and under a cozy blanket. Winters were harsh in the area, and became downright unbearable once the sun set. Temperatures dipped below freezing, the wind became biting and harsh, and the earth was hard and unforgiving beneath a pony's hooves, with hidden patches of ice lurking to send them tumbling down to the ground. It was miserable for anyone stuck outside.

Except, of course, to a pony who's body was adapted to cold temperatures, harsh winds, and who didn't have to walk on the icy ground. In other words, a pony who was a pegasus. Barley had been the one to figure out that they'd have the whole outdoors virtually to themselves at night, with the howling wind covering up any noises they might make. And so the twins began to sneak out of their bedrooms late at night with a blanket and some snacks a couple times a week. They would make their way to the edge of town, where the hills and bushes could provide cover for them, and make love beneath Luna's moon.

The twins at last reached their chosen spot: a small clearing in an otherwise bushy thicket, surrounded on all sides by a small cluster of hills. It was the perfect spot for their activities. Well, other than a bed. Or a cloud. Or anywhere soft, warm, and private, when you really thought about it. But beggars can't be choosers, and at least this spot provided Pickle with a place where his sister would be comfortable letting him put his cock inside of her. And really, that was far and away the most important consideration in his mind.

As Pickle searched for the flattest spot to lay down their blanket, Barley flew a low circle around their surroundings, making sure there were no ponies or animals in the area that might disturb them. Once she was satisfied, she flew back beside her brother and gently nuzzled against his neck.

"Looks like it's just the two of us, bro," she teased, inhaling the scent of the young colt as she continued to rub her body against his.

"Wouldn't want it any other way, Barl," Pickle responded, hooking a hoof over her shoulder and bringing her closer. The warmth of her body contrasted against the cold of the night. His stallionhood began to stir, dropping from its sheathe and exposing itself.

Barley brushed her tail beneath her brother's body, teasing his cock with its movements.

"Feels like you're getting pretty excited down there," she cooed into his ear, nibbling on it slightly.

"Sure am," Pickle admitted excitedly. "And if I know you, I bet you're getting pretty wet beneath that tail of yours."

"Why don't you go look and see," Barley asked, trying her best to sound seductive. She stepped away from her brother's warmth, turned around, and lifted her tail to present herself to him.

Pickle's tongue darted across his lips as he stared at his sister's winking pussy. He moved toward her and pushed his nose against her arousal. Barley jumped slightly as the cold wetness of his nose made contact against her most sensitive bits, but quickly relaxed as she felt her brother sniffing at her. She silently thanked Rainbow Dash for teaching her brother how to properly prepare a mare to be taken, and eagerly awaited the feel of his tongue inside her folds.

Pickle's tongue began to lap against the lips of her labia. Barley shivered as he began to taste her. His tongue moved toward the middle of her marehood and gently parted her open as he began to explore inside of her. Pickle hungrily slurped up her juices as he pushed deeper and deeper inside her walls.

"Nnng, Pickle. Oh gosh!" Barley moaned as her brother ate her out. Her moans grew louder as he pushed deeper, unable to restrain the sound of her pleasure. She was thankful for the noise of the wind and the natural walls of the hills, because otherwise she was sure she'd be waking the whole town up with the noises her brother was drawing from her.

Pickle twisted his tongue deeper and deeper inside of her. What his frenzied lapping lacked in finesse, he more than made up for in raw enthusiasm. He hungrily slurped up the juices flowing from her depths as he traced his tongue all along her inside walls. Barley twitched and contracted around the wriggling appendage pluming her depths. Pickle's face was getting soaked as he feasted on his sister, arousal flowing heavy from her pussy. Her moans and squeaks grew louder and quicker as her brother drove her further and further toward her peak. At last, she felt her dam break and her climax crashed through her body. Barley fell to the ground as her legs gave out beneath her, pulling her free from her brother's tongue. Pickle looked down at his sister with a satisfied grin, watching her pussy twitch and wink as the young mare panted in post-orgasmic bliss.

"Looks like you enjoyed that," Pickle stated smugly as Barley struggled back up to her hooves.

"Yeah, you're getting better at that, Picks," Barley spoke dreamily, still half in a haze of pleasure. "Still not as awesome as Rainbow Dash, though."

"Yeah? Well, maybe not, but I know something I can do that even a mare as awesome as her can't," Pickle stated, before leaping toward his sister and tackling her back to the ground. The twins rolled around on the blanket, wrestling and laughing for a bit, before they ended up with Barley on her stomach and Pickle on top of her. Pickle kissed the back of his sister's neck as he dragged his cock over her rump.

"Ready for me, Barls?' Pickle asked, lining himself up with her lower lips.

"Always," was Barley's simple response. She might not like to admit it, but nothing made her happier than the feeling of her brother's dick sinking into her.

Pickle bit gently at the crook of her neck as he pushed his young colthood inside of her. Both siblings moaned in ecstasy as they joined together. Pickle grunted as he pushed himself deeper inside the tight walls hugging his cock. Barley moaned as she felt herself being split apart in just the right way. Pickle bottomed out inside of her and began to thrust.

The twins were moaning and grunting as they rutted in the open air. Neither was paying attention to anything beyond the pleasurable feeling of their union. Therefore, they failed to hear the crunch of cold plants and dead twigs under somepony's hooves, or see the bundled-up form of a mare approaching their position. Even as the newcomer stepped onto the blanket where the twins were having their fun, they were completely oblivious. The mare watched with a gentle smile as Pickle's thrusts became more frenzied and violent, knowing the colt was close to cumming inside his sister. She waited patiently for him to finish, not wishing to be rude by interrupting.

Pickle's whole body stiffened as he fired off into Barley's pussy. He collapsed atop her back, leaving the filly to support both of their weight as she felt his cum begin to dribble out of her pussy. Pickle never managed to last long when he rutted her, something that Rainbow Dash had said was due to his young age. Barley hoped she was right, looking forward to when Pickle was old enough to last long enough for her to cum from getting fucked by him. Until then, at least he was considerate enough to always eat her out to climax before rutting her. From what she'd gathered from listening to some mares, even that was more than could be expected from some stallions. For now, she was content with the feeling of her brother's cum soaking her insides as she felt him slowly softening inside of her, enjoying the feel of his warm body breathing gently atop her back. She'd give him another minute to collect himself before tossing him off.

"Well, don't the two of you make just the cutest couple I've seen in years," the voice of the mare cut through the air.

"GAH!" Barley exclaimed, jumping in fright and sending her brother crashing to the ground. Wings flared and ready for a quick takeoff, she turned to find the source of unexpected voice. Her eyes widened in a mix of relief and dread when she saw Petunia's face smiling back at her. Relief that it was somepony she knew and trusted, dread at whatever punishment the mayor's wife was going to level on her and her brother now that they were discovered.

Pickle managed to collect himself and face Petunia alongside his sister. He knew they were in for it now. Petunia could lecture a foal better than any adult he knew. Worse than that, she was the town's school teacher too. If she really wanted to, she could level the most dreaded of all punishments down upon his sister and him. After School Detention.

"M-Miss Petunia! Um... uh, this isn't what it looks like?" Pickle attempted to lie. Barley smacked a hoof to her forehead, shaking her head at her brother's pathetic attempt at an excuse. Even if the older mare hadn't been there long enough to watch them doing exactly what it looked like, the dampness around his muzzle and the cum dripping down her tail and hind-legs didn't exactly require a genius to piece together.

"Oh, yeah, I'm sure. You betcha," Petunia sarcastically said as her eyes took in the sight of the two damp, panting, and nervous looking foals. "And I suppose the two of you think you're pretty clever, sneaking here out of sight and having your fun doing whatever it is that this all doesn't look like, eh?"

"Well..." Pickle started.

"Oh, for cryin' in the mud, don't answer that and dig yourself even deeper," Petunia scolded the young colt. "Now, you two follow me somewhere warm, and we'll discuss all this."

"But.." Barley tried to protest.

"Now, young lady," Petunia ordered, clearly not interested in hearing protests. She began to walk back to town, with the two foals quickly falling in step behind her. Pickle and Barley's heads hung low as they readied themselves for whatever punishment they were going to be receiving.

"Um..." Pickle broke the shared silence as they trotted back to town, desperate for something to distract from the looming sense of dread pressing down on him. "How did you know we were out here, Miss Petunia?" he asked.

"Oh, there's not a whole lot happens in this town that I don't know aboot," Petunia answered with a hint of pride in her voice. "But if I'm being honest, it was just a bit of bad luck that gotcha found out. A few nights ago, Kerfuffle happened to have an early morning appointment that nearly slipped her mind, so she had to make a bee line straight from Sunny and my home to her shop. And your little hiding spot just happened to be smack-dab in the middle of her flight path, dontcha know?"

"Aww geez," Pickle grumbled, "no pony around here ever goes on night flights! Just our luck that the one night Kerfuffle was out flying was one of the nights we were out here."

"Well, that's what happens when you go sneaking around behind everypony's back. Eventually, somepony turns around and sees ya," Petunia stated. "Anyhoo, the next morning Kerfuffle told me and Sunny what she saw, so I've been staking out here waiting for you little love birds every night since. Now, that's enough chatter for now. We'll continue talking once we're indoors and beside a nice, warm fire."

The three continued to walk into town. The twins were taken off guard when Petunia began to lead them toward the center of town, rather than toward either her house or their own.

"Wait, we're not heading to your house?" Pickle asked.

"Oh, no. Torque and Kerfuffle are there keeping Sunny company while I'm out here keeping an eye on the two of you," Petunia explained. "No sense bothering them with all this business, dontcha know?"

"Sooo... where are we going?" Barley asked.

"Why, Hotel Hope, ya silly goose," Petunia stated. "In fact, here we are now."

Pickle and Barley had been so distracted imagining their punishment in their minds, they hadn't even noticed that they'd reached the towns most famous hotel, library, information center, and a whole bunch of other stuff besides. Petunia unlocked the entrance and pushed open the door, gesturing the twins to step inside.

"In ya go, you two. Go get yourselves comfortable over by the fireplace while I put on some hot cocoa, and then we can sit down and talk," Petunia directed, welcoming them inside. Pickle and Barley looked nervously at one another, before moving forward and following her inside. Petunia was removing her scarf and toque, hanging them up and shaking out her fur. She smiled at the two foals as they joined her in the main entrance hall. "Got a fire goin' before heading out for the two of ya earlier, so you go make yourselves comfy over there and I'll come join ya in two shakes of a lamb's tail."

Settling down on the plush rug in front of the roaring fire, Pickle and Barley had to admit that, pegasus physiology or no, it did feel good to be somewhere warm, dry, and out of the freezing cold wind. The foals had just started to relax, dreary lids falling heavy over their eyes as they sat by the fire, when Petunia returned. She was balancing a tray with three cups of piping hot chocolate on her back, quickly passing Pickle and Barley a cup whilst keeping the third for herself. The three ponies sat in silence, sipping their drinks, before Petunia finally broke the silence.

"So, I suppose the two of you know what we've got to talk about, dontcha?" she asked sternly.

The twins sat a moment in uncomfortable silence, before both blurting out in unison:

"I'm sorry! I know we're underage, but it was all my idea and I talked Barley into it!" Pickle confessed.

"I know we're too young for sex, but I really wanted to do it and I made Pickle do it with me!" Barley admitted simultaneously.

Petunia's eyes blinked rapidly as she tried to process the sudden cacophony of sound assaulting her from the twins.

"Barley, quit it! You know it was all my fault!" Pickle proclaimed.

"Nuh-uh. It's all my fault. You don't need to try and protect me," Barley stated.

"Don't listen to her, Miss Petunia," Pickle begged, "just punish me. It's all my fault."

"No!" Barley shouted, body-checking her brother to take center stage in front of the older mare. "He didn't do anything wrong. I'm the only one who deserves punishment."

Petunia was finally starting to catch up to what the twins were yelling about, a look of concern quickly growing on her face.

"Ope. That's enough now from both of you," Petunia commanded, quieting the siblings down. "Now, just what in Equestria do ya think you're here for, eh?"

"Um, for having sex with each other?" Pickle offered hesitantly.

"Even though we're underage," Barley added, casting her eyes down to the floor.

"Oh dear. Well, no wonder you both looked so off your feed walking back here with me," Petunia mused. "Now, where in the world did you get a silly idea like that from?"

"But, the age laws..." Barley began.

"Are for unicorn and earth ponies. Pegasi have been exempt from those rules for as long as they've been on the books, dontcha know? Petunia explained.

"What!?" Pickle exclaimed.

"Why?" Barley inquired.

"Oh, every pony knows that trying to keep a couple healthy pegasus foals from having sex is a more foolish waste of effort than ice-skating uphill," Petunia laughed. "Really now, did you really think your idol Rainbow Dash would have done all that stuff with ya if it were illegal?"

"You know about that?" Pickle asked, in slight awe of how well informed Petunia seemed to be in all things.

"Course I did, ya silly goose," Petunia chided. "Mayor Sunny and I might have had our hooves full with Princess Twilight at the Rainbow Festival, but that don't mean we were completely oblivious to what everypony else was getting up ta, dontcha know?" Petunia stated, a slight lilt of pride in her voice.

"But... but our parents," Barley started to protest.

"Oh, don't tell me yer mom and dad put this silly notion in your heads. Those two have always been so stuck up and prudish, I honestly wasn't sure they even knew how sex worked till your mom got pregnant," Petunia grumbled. "Well, you can betcha that I'll be giving those two a good talking to for passing their hang-ups down onto the two of ya like they seem ta have done."

"But, wait. Then, why did you bring us here with you?" Pickle asked, taking another sip from his cocoa now that he had calmed down.

"Because, ya doofus, it's chillier than a windigo's cooter out there and the two of ya were frolicking about as if it were a mid-summer eve," Petunia stated, bopping the colt lightly on the head. "I swear, sometimes I think you pegasi and unicorns trade in yer common sense when ya get those fancy wings and horns."

"But, pegasi are adapted to cold and high winds," Barley protested.

"Oh, that so, eh?" Petunia asked. "So, the two of ya don't know the age of consent laws for pegasi, but suddenly yer both experts on thermal regulation and physiology for them, are ya?"

"Yeah, but-" Pickle tried to defend his sister.

"But nothing, young colt," Petunia sternly shut him down. "You pegasi might be built to withstand the cold and wind up in the air, where yer moving fast enough to shed off any water and moisture that might cling to ya, but what do ya think happens when you get all cold and damp down on the ground?" she inquired.

"What?" Barley asked.

"Same thing that happens to anypony else in those conditions," Petunia answered. "Your temperature drops, the cold sets in, and your at risk of frost bite, hypothermia, or worse."

"Oh," Pickle muttered.

"And when the two of ya are out there soaking each other in cum, spit, and sweat, it's only a matter of time until one or both of ya gets sick, dontcha know?"

"I guess that explains the fire and hot cocoa," Barley mused.

"Yeah, I though it was kind of odd that you were making us so cozy just to yell at us about having sex," Pickle observed.

"Yep. No punishments or yelling this time," Petunia told them cheerfully. "Just don't let me hear that you're outside fucking in this weather again, okay?"

"Yes, Miss Petunia," the two foals responded in unison.

"But wait," Barley said, suddenly concerned, "if we can't do it outside..."

"And mom and dad won't let us have sex at home," Pickle continued her thought. "Then..."

"Then we're stuck waiting until we come of age anyway," Barley finished dejectedly.

"Oh, now you just let your Aunt Petunia worry aboot that little conundrum," Petunia stated with a confident smile. "I can't let a couple as cute as the two of you go without sex in our town. Poor Sunny would have a conniption."

"But, what can we do?" Barley asked.

"Well, now just where exactly do you think we are, silly?" Petunia asked. "This is a hotel, dontcha know? Why don't I give you two a key to the room and you can use it whenever the mood strikes ya?"

"Really?" Barley asked as her face brightened. "You'd really do that for us?"

"Course I would," Petunia stated. "So long as ya both promise not to make too much of a mess, and don't go inviting anypony else to join ya. You're both still too young to be sleeping around the town, dontcha know?"

"Whatever you say, Miss Petunia," Barley stated.

"You're the best, Petunia," Pickle exclaimed.

The two foals leaped at the mare and hugged her tightly. Petunia returned their affection, doing her best to resist groping their cute little rumps as she did so.

"Now, I suppose I should probably be getting the two of you home," Petunia started to say after their hug broke apart, "but I do feel a bit like a wet blanket for interrupting you two like I did and causing so much undue concern. So, how'd the two of ya like to go break in the room upstairs for an hour before I take you back?"

"Awesome!" Pickle shouted, his wings fluttering him up into the air in his excitement.

"Last one upstairs eats butt!" Barley declared, before darting out of the room.

"Hey, wait up! No fair!" Pickle yelled after his sister before racing out of the room behind her.

Petunia calmly sipped her cocoa as she listened to the two foals clamber up the stairs. She heard the door slam open and shut, and then the telltale creaking of one of the beds a moment later. She smiled. She couldn't wait until they earned their cutie marks. She and Sunny were going to have so much fun teaching them everything they knew.

Author's Note

Every time I write a story with Petunia, I say to myself that this will be the last one, because her accent is really tough to write without feeling like I'm overdoing it. And yet, I just keep getting pulled back into the Hope Hollow worm hole. I think I might have a problem.

When I read the prompt for this contest, I immediately thought of the Barrel Twins getting caught by Petunia. I thought it would be fun to write a story where the twins are worried they're going to get chewed out for having sex with each other, only for them to have to sit through a lecture about something perfectly mundane they were doing while nopony sees anything wrong with the underage siblings fucking as much as they want. Combine that with the cold, snowy weather we're having currently where I live, and this story was born.

On a final note, dear Russia: I understand that different cultures are going to have different culinary traditions. I also understand that this Rassolnik soup is supposedly pretty tasty, and is popular with a lot of people. But I'm taking a stand on this: Pickles don't belong in soup. Maybe that's a controversial view to some, and if it is to you then I'm sorry, but you're what's wrong with society. I would appreciate not having to subject myself to such degeneracy as I research puns for the title of my story about underage brother and sister horses having sex with each other. I eagerly await your nation's apology.

Anyway, hope you enjoyed the story.