So I guess I'm in the Royal Guard now?

These guys are all the same. Every last one of them.

Everything about her had been broken at some point in her life, from her wings to her legs and even her tail at one point, but her pride was still hanging on by a single, small thread. She was better than this, she knew that, but her situation, on the other hoof, told a different story.

A small shiver ran up Lightning Dust’s body as a slight wind chill dashed against her fur. Then, pulling a newspaper over her torso, she looked up with a glare towards a stallion passing by. The pony gawked at first, but then he lifted his nose in the air and walked away with a haughty stride. Even if she smiled, even if she tried asking for help or respectfully explaining her situation, he would make up some kind of excuse about how he had an appointment he was running late for or another pony he was keeping waiting.

They were all the same. Nopony was really as empathetic as they thought they were.

Of course, it wasn’t like she hadn’t tried changing the situation she was in. When she first realized that she’d be on the streets, she did everything she could to get a normal job just like everypony else, but the one thing she couldn’t do was sell herself short, even if it meant a day or two of going hungry or another night enduring the harsh Canterlot winter. It was still a wonder how anypony could voluntarily run themselves dry for a wage that was barely enough for a crappy apartment downtown, or worse, customer service.

Another shiver ran through her body, but there weren’t enough newspapers in all of Equestria to keep her heart from freezing up about a nightmare like that. Of course, she still needed to find ways to support herself, even in the wilderness of Canterlot’s back alleys; food didn’t pay for itself after all, and it wasn’t like the dumpsters behind the local restaurants were all-you-can-eat buffets. Besides, she still had her pride, albeit a twisted version of what it used to be.

Even when she worried about starving or freezing to death half the time she spent awake, she still wouldn’t allow herself to cave in to what a normal pony in desperation would do. They’d suck it up and find some way to live a minimal quality of normal life, still in the lower-class albeit not homeless, but to Lightning Dust, it was all or nothing. If anything, she was cocky about how low her standard of living could be before she caved in to society’s base standards, even if it meant the things she’d be doing instead were far less tolerable than a minimum wage job.

Then, as if on cue, the already dim light behind the sheet of white clouds became blocked out by a shadow that cast over the mare’s body, making the frigid temperatures even colder. Lightning Dust glared at the gray stallion that stood above her, blocking the little warmth she had, but the stallion simply smiled, either oblivious or indifferent to the discomfort his presence was causing her.

“Hey, Dusty,” he said quietly.

Lightning Dust growled, scrunching her body even tighter underneath her newspapers. “I thought I told you never to call me that again.”

“You’ve told me to never do lots of things. Doesn’t mean I’ll listen, though.”

Lightning Dust turned onto her other side, now facing a brick wall like he would just leave if she ignored him long enough. She knew that wouldn’t happen, though. She just didn’t feel like talking anymore, even though she knew he still did.

“So what’re you up to these days?” the stallion asked in a condescending tone. Lightning Dust grit her teeth but refused to answer. “Hope I didn’t catch you at a bad time.”

“What do you want, Clay?”

Finally, the stallion stepped forward into the alley, allowing the faint sun to once again glow down on Lightning Dust as he strode into the shadows of the adjacent buildings. “The usual.”

“Get somepony else to do it. I’m busy today.”

“Oh, I can see that.” This time, Lightning Dust pulled her newspapers over her face, feeling an unwelcome breeze against her hind legs, but at least she wouldn’t have to look at him anymore. “Hey, if you wanna play hard to get, I can keep going. I’ve got all day.”

“Leave me alone or I’ll scream.”

Clay grinned. “No you won’t. Can you imagine how embarrassing that’d be, having everypony think that you were weak and needed their help? That just doesn’t sound like the Lightning Dust I know.”

“What do you know about me?!”

In the heat of the moment, Lightning Dust leapt to her hooves, leaning forward and pressing her nose up against Clay’s, but the stallion didn’t move a muscle. The harder she glared, the wider his grin spread along his cheeks.

“I know what you’d do for money,” Clay replied, making Lightning Dust flinch. “I mean, did you ever think your life would wind up like this? Just imagine what would happen if you knew back when you were a filly that you’d wind up here… alone… with me.”

The stallion winked, but Lightning Dust clicked her tongue, turning away with a scowl on her face. Sure, they weren’t technically alone, but they might as well be. If they took just a few steps further back into the dark alley between the two buildings beside them, even the ponies passing by would be too preoccupied with their own lives to notice they were there. They were all the same. Every last one of them.

“So?” the stallion continued. “What specials are you running today?”

“It’s called the ‘Get Lost. I don’t feel like it.’”

“You know, I heard that there’s a pretty big snowstorm on its way this weekend, and I might just be able to afford a night at that motel a couple blocks down from here.”

Again, Lightning Dust grit her teeth. As much as she hated talking to this guy, she knew it would be hard to pass down a deal like that, especially since this blizzard seemed to be all the newspapers were talking about this week. In all honesty, it wasn’t like he was ever the worst pony to do business with--at least he was better than what she’d deal with working in the service industry--but there was still her pride… or what left of it she had, anyway. It was hard to tell which was worse: a blizzard, or doing anything that would make this chump happy.

“Forget it,” she replied, getting up and shaking the dirty papers off of her torso. “I’m gonna go find some food. Don’t follow me.”

She didn’t wait for his response. Instead, she pulled herself out of the dark alley, trying to blend in with the crowd despite the stark contrast in her cleanliness alone. Of course, almost immediately, she started getting disgusted glares from the ponies around her, but she just scowled back at them, marching forward despite how much they probably wanted her to go back into hiding. If they knew what it was like to be down on their luck, maybe then they’d think twice about judging a girl’s morning breath. Of course, they’d never have to deal with something like this because they made “better choices”, like living on the streets was only for the riff raff who spent their lives being lazy or selfish.

These guys were all the same. Every. Last. One of them.

After walking a few blocks down, she turned the corner and wound up in yet a different dark alley, this one behind one of the local food joints. They weren’t exactly thrilled to have Lightning Dust scouring around their dumpsters, but so long as she didn’t get caught most of the time, it wasn’t like they’d be particularly inconvenienced. Besides, she liked the breadsticks they tossed out.

The teal pegasus reached up and flipped the lid of the dumpster open, hovering slightly to get an aerial view of the contents before deciding whether or not it was worth diving in. It was still the middle of lunchtime for most of the guests at the restaurant, so it wasn’t like they’d have much thrown away yet, but this was also when she’d find the over-cooked entrees before the real garbage came out.

“Nice! Panhaykes!”

She loved it when ponies came by for brunch. The chefs sucked at making traditional breakfast food, which meant that they usually threw out way more waffles and panhaykes than their restaurant could afford. Just as she was about to sink into the dumpster, however, a shadow walked into the alley, making Lightning Dust silently hope that she wouldn’t have to compete for food. She really wasn’t in the mood today.

“Well, well, well. Looks like some ponies never change.”

Of course, her luck only ever lasted so long. He didn’t even need to follow her. He knew this was where she’d be. Lightning Dust only had two real places she ever went: the back of the restaurant to eat, and the back of the old apartment building to lay down. They were the perfect spots to fit her needs, but that also meant that she was predictable, always right where Clay knew he would be able to find her.

“Could you not bug me right now?” the pegasus asked with a bite in her tone. “I’m trying to get some lunch before the owner shows up and kicks me out again.”

“Trying to get some grub, huh? I bet those napkins must be pretty tasty.”

“Oh, go screw yourself. I’m busy.”

Lightning Dust could tell that he’d just press the issue further if she continued communicating with him, so rather than entertaining him any further, she pulled her limbs in together and dropped into the dumpster. She had to act fast, though. It would only be a matter of time before he threatened to tell the boss that she was in there, which meant that not only was the garbage can going to be her pantry for the day, there was a good chance it was going to be her dining room too.

Quickly, the mare grabbed the panhaykes she’d spotted earlier and shoved them into her mouth, chewing as fast as she could so that she could at least survive for the day without going hungry. Getting to enjoy the taste wouldn’t be an option this time, but hey, if it meant not going hungry, she knew how to pick her battles.

“Dusty, Dusty, Dusty. You just never learn, do you?”

Again, Lightning Dust hurriedly chomped down on her food, doing her best to swallow as much as she could in hopes that she’d actually be able to finish in time. She would have begged him to give her just two more minutes, but knowing Clay, it was probably better to just spend the time she had left chewing.

“You know, I think you’ve had plenty of chances,” the stallion continued. “You know you’re not allowed to just sleep in the alleys and eat in the dumpsters. At least not in Canterlot. It’d be a shame if somepony were to tip off the nice gentlemen downtown about a mare who’s been trespassing on private property. Then again, they might be able to find you a nice home, if you know what I mean.”

No. No, no, no! Clay had done some shady things before, but this was on a whole new level! Was he seriously threatening to call the cops on her now?! With all the strength her jaw muscles would allow, Lightning Dust scarfed down what little food she had left and hovered into the air, still chewing as she landed in front of the stallion giving her a wide smirk.

“Good choice.”

Finally, Lightning Dust swallowed, heaving heavy breaths that she hadn’t been able to manage in her desperate feeding frenzy. “What… do you want… Clay?”

“I told you. The usual.”

“Fine! Let’s just go back to my spot before somepony--”

“No, I think I’ve done enough waiting, Dusty. I want it here.”

Lightning Dust flinched, looking around in every direction to make sure nopony was eavesdropping before she leaned her head in closer to whisper. “You know we can’t do it here! These guys take out the garbage like every twenty minutes! If we end up getting caught, we’ll both be in trouble!”

Clay, though, shook his head with a soft, quiet chuckle. “You know what? If somepony comes out here and sees the two of us, I’ll let him have a turn too. You’d be OK with that, wouldn’t you?”

Lightning Dust growled, glaring daggers into the stallion’s eyes. She knew she wasn’t in the best place to haggle, both because she didn’t want the cops to find out about her sleeping arrangement and because she really needed the bits. As tough as she tried to act on the exterior, she probably wouldn’t make it if she was forced to endure that snowstorm sleeping outside.

Finally, she inhaled a deep breath, placed a hoof to her chest, and slowly let it all out, calming herself down as much as she could. Then, looking up at the stallion before her, she said in a gentle tone, “Alright, Clay. We’ll do the usual.”

After that, she really didn’t remember much of what happened next. She always blocked out her bad experiences as much as she could, otherwise she’d never be able to sleep at night. When she was little, her mom taught her a trick that she ended up using all the time when she started training to become a Wonderbolt. It was a way to block out the pain, both mental and physical, and when it was over, it would feel like it never happened.

Close your eyes, the pegasus recounted to herself, trying to remember her mother’s words. Count to ten. If it’s not over by then, picture happy memories, then you do it all again. One, two, three, four--

“You made me clip my wing, you sent half of our class into serious tailspins on the obstacle course, you unleashed a tornado that nearly demolished my friends!”

Lightning Dust almost never got to ten by the time her mind was flooded with painful memories, thinking of every single mistake she’d ever made that led her to where she was.

“I think I broke my leg! Help! Somepony help!”

“This is all your fault! I hope you know that.”

Lightning Dust clenched her eyelids tighter.

Five, six, seven--

“Don’t give her any bits. She’ll probably just waste them.”

“Get a job, lady! We’ve got enough ponies like you already!”

Eight… nine…

“You reek! Why don’t you just go hide somewhere nopony will find you?”

“I’ll tell you what. I can give you some bits if you do me a favor.”

Ten!

Finally, after one last deep breath, it was all over, and even though she felt disgusted with herself, she could feel at least a small hint of pride knowing that she’d survived. It was just like when she was training for her stunts before the accident. Even though the experience was torture in the moment, once it was done, she could hold her head up high knowing that she came out a little bit stronger in the end. She was grateful to her mom for teaching her that little trick, but sadly, it never lasted for long, especially when Clay was involved.

“Wow, Dusty. You got lucky! Not a single pony showed up.”

“Shut up,” Lightning Dust said, wiping her mouth and looking the other way. “Just give me my bits and leave.”

“Bits? I don’t remember saying anything about any bits.”

Suddenly, Lightning Dust’s eyes went wide.

“What? Don’t kid around, Clay. We had a deal!”

The stallion looked down at Lightning Dust with a cocky smirk, shrugging his shoulders and shaking his head. “What were the details of this deal again? Oh, right. We didn’t specify any details! But hey, I’ll tell you what. Since I like you so much, I won’t let the cops know about that thing the two of us talked about earlier, and maybe I’ll be back later for round two? How does that sound?”

Lightning Dust’s jaw quivered. Her heart sank. There was no way she just went through all of that just for him not to compensate her in the end! A blizzard was coming… She was going to die if she didn’t get that money… No. No! There was no way he was getting off that easy!

“Listen here, you little punk!” Just as the stallion was getting ready to walk away, Lightning Dust pushed him back into the wall beside him, pressing her hoof to his neck as she seethed in anger. “I’ve had it with you treating me like trash! We had a deal, and now you’re going to pay up whether you want to or not! You hear me?!”

The stallion flinched in surprise at first, but gradually, Clay’s face returned back to normal, shaking his head with a low chuckle that only served to piss her off even more. “Ohhh, Dusty, Dusty, Dusty. I don’t think you realize who holds all the leverage here.”

“I told you pay me, you prick!”

Clay continued to smile for a little while longer, but eventually, his smile faded, leaving nothing but an emotionless husk that chilled Lightning Dust to the core. “You know, I’m not having fun anymore. If you still haven’t learned your place at this point, then maybe somepony just needs to teach you!”

Suddenly, the mare felt a wrenching pain in her gut out of nowhere, knocking all the wind out of her lungs as she fell to her knees. Lightning Dust wrapped her hooves around her stomach, trying her best to pull air back into her lungs, but before she succeeded, she felt another blow across her face, slamming directly into her right temple and knocking her to the ground. What was going on? It was all happening so fast.

By the time Lightning Dust could open her eyes from the massive agony that seemed to flood through her entire body, she saw Clay standing above her, falling to his knees just so that he could grab her by the mane and yank her upwards.

“I’m sorry, Clay! I didn’t mean to--Gaufhh!!”

Again, another blow to the gut, and it seemed like they just kept getting worse, like he was just getting warmed up for when he’d really hurt her. He wasn’t holding back in the slightest. If he kept up at the pace he was going, she was going to be lucky to make it out of there without any broken bones, and even that was supposing she didn’t pass out first. He was really going at it. Was she going to die here? She wasn’t ready for that. Not yet.

Lightning Dust squeezed her eyes shut, unable to even gag as he continued pounding her. After all those years of using the trick her mom taught her, it looked like she wasn’t going to be able to use it this time. What was even worse, though, was knowing that she was going to have to sacrifice her pride and do the one thing she swore she’d never do.

With all the strength she could muster, Lightning Dust opened her mouth and sucked in all the air her lungs would allow. “HELP! SOMEPONY HELP ME!”

“Shut up! Hey! I SAID SHUT UP!”

Now his hoof was smacking against her face, physically preventing her from screaming any further. She had already sacrificed too much of her pride already. There was no way she could let herself lose any more…

But she still wanted to cry.

The lights were starting to go dim, her head beginning to feel dizzy. Eventually, the pain stopped registering completely. She could still feel him hitting her, but for some reason, it was like they weren’t even doing anything anymore. They just made her feel… sleepy. Maybe that was what she really needed, to sleep it off and wake up once it was all over.

Before she knew it, her eyelids gradually began to close, but before she lost consciousness completely…

“Hey! What are you doing?! STOP!”

Immediately, Lightning Dust felt her body fall limp to the ground, quickly followed by the sound of hoofsteps running away. It was weird. Now that the pain had stopped, she thought that she would feel better, but somehow, she didn’t feel anything, like he was still standing there pounding her, just without actually being there to do it.

Yeah, maybe sleep would be a good idea after all. Then, once she woke up, it would all be over…

“Miss? Hey! Wake up! Miss!”