The Fall

by smakleapp

Rating: mature
Tags: Suicide / Self Harm, Tragedy, Princess Celestia, Death, Sad, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark
Length: 1057

Celestia comes to terms with her immortality

Celestia has been forced to witness deaths of those she cares about, forced to turn the cheek, to witness horrors and massacres and genocides. To kill and maim others, to make the worst descions. And she cant die.

Published 2021-02-01 23:50:00 UTC
Last updated 2021-02-01 23:50:00 UTC

A Jump A Day Keeps The Monsters Away

When you have been around for as long as I have, you begin to wish for death. It’s sweet embrace to caress you and take you away, away to some far away fixture of my imagination. My thoughts have all been consumed with the thought of an end, a goal. Living forever is a curse, a curse that forces you to see your friends die, your decisions worsen, your health deteriorate. Seeing empires fall, seeing the thousands of massacres and mass killings, seeing the countless number of killers walking the streets. Stalking those who I call my subjects. To live forever and see these things? A curse might be an understatement.

And what was once a plea was now a curiosity. A plea that formed from my newest student’s transformation into an alicorn, forever damned with the fate I was forced into. I was a depraved villain for allowing her to fall victim to immortalities viscous grasps. However, morbid curiosity clouded my mind. To see what, if anything, can deliver a sweet exit of the lands Princess.

I tried the small things of course. I set myself aflame only to have the flames merely dance around me, bringing a comforting and cold embrace. I tried poison, only for my body to show no symptoms. I tried to fly to where I couldn’t breathe, but my lungs simply filled with infinite air. I threw myself to the changelings, only for the friends of Twilight to save me, or for my body to instantly kill all. I tried everything. Everything.

So now here I was, standing over this balcony. The sky was gray, just like I ordered. The sun didn’t deserve to rise. It must have been over a hundred feet high, where I could barely see the ground. What I did see was multi-colored specks walking around, no doubt filled with thoughts of shopping and their family. That’s the way I raised them, and I knew that’s what I was destined to do forever.

I stepped closer to the edge knowing full well it wasn’t going to work. It never would. The feeling that it might was exhilarating, and the pain it would give me would bring me back to reality. Maybe I’ll snap out of this rut I’m stuck in, maybe I’ll surrender to immortalities clutching jaws. Sometimes, I could hear them snapping, calling my name. I stayed in it’s maw for too long. The air, brushing past my mane, brought coolness. I looked down once again, making a mark inside my head.

My sister was sleeping, the guards dismissed. Everything was quiet except for the howling air, enticing me to come forward. In my eyes, there was no reason to resist. I needed it, I developed an obsession for it. A will to push myself, to throw myself into danger in hopes of a black screen.

Celestia, Celestia it seemed to call out. And I must admit, for a minute I was unsure. Through all my bravado, jumping a hundred feet would cause anyone to run away. I closed my eyes and imagined the screams that the ponies would bellow out. Seeing their princess plummeting down to her “death.” Their princess who has sentenced many to die despite their lives, murdered in cold blood, played and manipulated while pretending to be pure. I made up my choice. The ground was real.

With a final step, my hooves left the balcony, and I began to plummet. This was the first time I had tried this method, and I was shocked at how the events unfolded. Time seemed to slow down, as I turned and turned in mid-air. It was a stimulating experience. I would have screamed in delight if I could breathe. My loss of breath made me hopeful.

I stopped spinning at the halfway mark, instead plunging downward on my back. I tried to smile, but instead, I gave off a frown. I tried to laugh, but instead I cried. I tried to play music in my head. Carnival music, the type Starswirl would take me and Luna to back when we were younger. Instead, I heard the funeral music. I felt like I was dying for the first time in millennia. And it scared me.

My ambition, my depression, my obsession, everything melted away as the ground came closer, closer, closer…

I tried to cry out, but was silenced by the whipping air.

Closer, closer…

No! I recant my feelings! I dont wish this!

Closer, closer…

My mind has been diluted by thoughts of death! I recant, I recant! I’m sorry!

Closer, closer…

I tried to open my wings, but they were clamped shut from the powerful gales hugging my body, now frigid and cold. I could finally open my mouth only for a blood-curdling scream to come forth. What is the end of no reward? What is a goal that earns me nothing? I don’t wish to die!

Closer, closer…

I RECANT MY IDEAS! LET ME GO! LET ME GO! I DONT WISH TO-

Author's Note

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l8_72NFyd-w

Those Angels

Those Angels are calling

From so far away

Asking, to tell them

What I did in my so many days

To tell them what I had accomplished

To tell them what I had done

Through all my moments under the moon

And my moments under the sun

The sweet cries of those who care

Bellowing out behind me

I tried to do it my way I said

I tried to end it sweetly

But some told to look back

They told me to hold my tears

They told me to question nothing

They told me to get rid of my fears

They told me to give up my right

They told me that’s not what I said

They told me that nothing I do matters

Even when I’m eventually dead

But now I told the angels

I told those that they’re misguided

Because thinking like that gets you nowhere

Their goals haven’t yet been sighted

I told them that I will shine

When I die I will be remembered

To hide like a mole

Nothing I did would have rendered

For now I stand before you today

I’m facing answering the call

Because If you are never remembered

Have you existed at all