The Trouble With Pies

by Forgetful

Rating: teen
Tags: Troubleshoes, Limestone Pie, Slice of Life, Marble Pie, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Romance
Length: 3321

When it comes to love, It's better to be prepared than lucky.

Troubleshoes has never really been the luckiest pony in Equestria.

Yet when he catches the eye of two Pie Sister's, he'll soon find out more than luck will be necessary to survive sibling rivalry.

Featured On 2\2\21 , awww ty.

Published 2021-02-02 23:40:00 UTC
Last updated 2023-04-12 16:42:49 UTC

The Long Road Ahead

The sky wasn't exactly blue, more of a faded grey. The clouds building above into a gathering of malicious intent, most likely a summer storm bringing forth a massive shower. Troubleshoes wouldn't be surprised, he had quite the familiarity with a series of unfortunate events.

One could say he attracted trouble.

It wasn't out of spite or a pension for chaos, but simply a magnetism that drew misfortune his way by the dozens.

The massive brown Clydesdale stomped his oversized hooves down the dirt-covered road of the lonely pathway. It had been hours since he had seen another pony and even longer since he stopped for a drink of water.

It wasn't overly hot, but instead quite humid.

His dust-covered coat drew in heat from across the landscape, cooking him alive for lack of a better word. Troubleshoes slowly came to a stop along the open path, his hoof reaching for a large canteen strapped to his side by a withered rope.

With one swift lift of the hoof, his tongue was greeted by warm air.

"Just my luck." Troubleshoes sighed as he flipped the canteen over, a large hole visible on the bottom.

His emerald-colored eyes searched the horizon for some kind of sanctuary from this current predicament. A stream of freshwater would be beyond welcome, yet with his luck, a dirty puddle of warm water would be just fine.

Instead, he found himself surrounded by endless miles of dirt, weeds, and rocks.

The only glimpse of civilization appeared to be a rundown old farm in the distance. What type he couldn't say, but if he had to guess either dirt or rocks.

Trotting up towards the rusted front gate, Troubleshoes let his hoof gently knock on the metallic surface. The gate crumbled into a few dozen pieces before his very eyes and left only a puff of dust behind.

"Suppose I'll be paying for that." He huffed under his breath in utter defeat.

The gigantic stallion walked onto the property with a downtrodden pace to his hooves. He figured this place was abandoned, the only help he'd receive being from the buzzards.

"Mm-hmm?" The softest voice in all of Equestria caught his attention.

Troubleshoes turned around flabbergasted by the petite mare who had snuck up on him from nowhere. She was as delicate as she was beautiful, a grey coat that matched his days, with a mane so long it would put the roads he traveled alone to shame.

"Pardon my intrusion upon your property ma'am." Troubleshoes grabbed the comically tiny hat off his head and lowered it with respect.

"Mm-hmm." She nodded politely.

"I've traveled forever and a day in search of new employment opportunities, but wouldn't you believe I've gotten myself stranded on an endless stretch with nary a drop of salvation to keep me trekking forth." Troubleshoes felt his face droop sadly as the mare simply walked away.

"I suppose dehydration wouldn't be such a bad way to go." He placed the hat atop his head ready to venture forth into the unknown.

"Mm-hmm." Marble Pie squeaked, a tiny silver ladle of water held in her mouth as she returned to his direction.

"For me?" He spoke in a shocked tone of amazement before happily lapping up the equivalent of a drop of water.

"Mm-hmm!" Marble flashed an adorable smile proudly.

"I'd hate to trouble you once more, but I fear that drop of water merely enticed my thirst without bedding her back down." Troubleshoes lowered his head in shame.

"Mm-hmm?" Marble nudged the stallion tenderly, as she led him towards the side of the rustic old farmhouse.

Six large wooden barrels of freshwater sat in the shade. Marble pranced over to one already cracked open in the corner, she was about to offer him the ladle when without warning the stallion easily lifted the heavy barrel in his hooves.

"Mm-hmm!" She gasped surprised as the stallion chugged the water down in a flash.

"That was mighty kind of you, Little Miss." Troubleshoes placed the nearly empty barrel down with a loud thud.

"Mm- Marble Pie." She spoke in nearly a whisper as cheeks burned a bright pink.

"Troubleshoes, I don't go lookin' fer trouble yet it always finds me." His ears flopped downward instantaneously.

"You are looking for work?" Marble quivered full of anxiety.

"Indeed ma'am." Troubleshoes mustered his most courteous bow.

"Mm- Maybe I can help." She struggled to not hide her face away behind a curtain of hair.

Troubleshoes now became completely curious as the mare led him out towards the backyard. Approaching another lovely mare who worked hard through the heat of this humid day, she turned away from crushing rocks to flash an icy glare.

"Who's the Jethro?" Limestone snorted hatefully with light green hues that burned like hot coals.

"Mm-hmm." Marble squeaked sheepishly.

"What kind of name is Troubleshoes!?" Limestone scrunched her muzzle.

"Mm-hmm…" Marble huffed.

"I don't care if he's a weary traveler in search of a new beginning." Limestone glared at the stallion who watched on in confusion.

"Mm-hmm!" Marble daintily stomped a hoof on the ground.

"Geez, no need to get snappy!" Limestone blew a loud raspberry in her sister's face.

Quick to inspect the stallion, Limestone didn't seem phased by his towering frame. She trotted a few quick circles around him before groaning aloud in dissatisfaction. He wasn't exactly special in any certain area, but Marble seemed to be interested in something or another about him.

"Fine, pick up the pickaxe and shatter that rock!" Limestone pointed towards a ridiculously tiny pebble on the ground to his right.

With a polite nod, he struggled to clinch the smaller tool between his teeth, after a few moments finally able to lift the infernal contraption out of the dirt. Troubleshoes felt as if he might swallow the darn thing, stomping clumsily over towards the pebble in deep focus.

Yet without fail he tripped over his hooves and crashed to the dirt with a loud crash. The pickaxe flew off into the distance as it smashed into a nearby stone slab, a few creaking sounds soon followed by the slab crumbling into a pile of gravel.

"Well, that's going to cost me." Troubleshoes plopped onto his belly defeated.

"You just completed my whole day's work in a few seconds!?" Limestone rushed over to the fresh pile of gravel with a hearty laugh.

"Beg your pardon?" Troubleshoes slowly lifted his head upward in awe.

"Mm-hmm!" Marble clapped her hooves together with excitement.

"If you don't mind breaking a few more, I might have a job available." Limestone flashed a sly smile to the stallion who lifted to his feet proudly.

"It'd be my honor, ma'am!" Troubleshoes replied with a growing sense of purpose in his voice.

"Please, call me Limestone!" She galloped off towards a few large slabs in the distance, as she motioned for the stallion to follow.

This was something out of a dream. He didn't manage to ruin anything with his horrible string of bad luck, turning to face Marble near the farmhouse he offered her a genuine smile of appreciation.

She only blushed, running away in a cloud of dust.

Maybe for once in his life…

Things weren't so bad after all.

The Dangers Of Dining

"I've seen tons of Gravel Jocks in my day, but you take the cake!" Limestone watched her newest employee smash slabs with ease while sitting atop a pile of misshapen rocks.

"Well, I appreciate the opportunity." Troubleshoes lifted his hoof to crack it against a stone slab as it crumbled away with ease.

"Are you always so polite!?" Limestone scrunched her muzzle before leaping down to his side.

"Well just because you're having a bad day, you shouldn't bring down others." Troubleshoes lowered his head with a calm collected nod.

"But you're massive!" Limestone spoke in a rude tone.

"So I've been told." He replied in a never-changing southern drawl.

"You know you could just demand whatever you wanted right? Nopony in their right mind would refuse!" Limestone giggled in a devious little voice.

"Why?" Troubleshoes shrugged.

"Because it's survival of the fittest! YOU'RE THE FITTEST!!" Limestone lifted on her hind hooves while poking the stallion on his strong broad chest.

"Just because you can take something, doesn't mean you should." Troubleshoes returned his attention to the slabs in waiting.

The clouds hung high in the heavens finally ready to lash out. With a loud crack of thunder, the rain began to pour wildly and drench the dry landscape in fresh moisture. Troubleshoes let himself frown with disappointment, he wasn't even halfway done with his new labors and already the day was ruined.

Limestone scrunched her muzzle in a huff rushing to the back porch of her home at full gallop. "Are you coming inside or not!?" She grumbled through clenched teeth annoyed.

"Didn't think it was my place to intrude." Troubleshoes felt his whole body drenched in fresh rain, his vision blurred by the building mist over the landscape.

The grey mare slapped her forehead not quite amused before stomping a hoof on the old wooden porch. " Just come inside you oversized marshmallow!" Her voice though stern still carried an air of concern.

Without much of an argument, he calmly made his way to the porch completely wet, yet he still remembered to lower his hat from his head as a show of respect. Limestone letting a tiny squeak escape her lips in surprise.

"Are you ok ma'am?" Troubleshoes placed the hat back onto his head.

"Yeah, I'm just used to ponies taking a mile after I give an inch." She pushed the backdoor open hiding away a faint smile.

She thought this stallion was unique, to say the least. He had an air of tranquility that followed his every step and brought with it a quiet peace. She didn't think he was much to brag about, but she sort of liked him.

Which didn't mean a damn thing!

With both parents away on business trying to secure a Gravel Contract from Canterlot. Marble and Limestone were left to their own devices during the extra-long fortnight. The kitchen a dimly lit affair out of a rustic scene from the past. Two withered candles perched center on a withered wooden table, photos from various celebrations and milestones hung across the dusty walls.

Three empty stone bowls were placed beside the ponies within the room. One petite, one regular, and one extra-large. Troubleshoes couldn't help notice he was in the center of both mares, Limestone to his right and Marble to his left.

If he were to be further observant to the matters at hoof, he noticed that two separate large pots of stew had been created for dinner. It must just be a good night for stew, why else go through such trouble of culinary creation?

"The first Stone Stew is made of bland tasteless Marble." Limestone held back a gag of distaste as the words fell from her lips.

"Mmm." Marble seemed quick to flash a glare across the table to her sister.

"Now the second is my secret Limestone Stew, absolutely will fill your gullet!" The sneaky grey mare began to pour her stew into Troubleshoes' bowl.

"Mm-hmm!" Marble rolled her eyes before yanking his bowl away.

"I cook all the time!" Limestone shifted her eyes side to side hastily.

"Mm-hmm." Marble huffed, pouring her stew into the stallion's bowl happily.

"It doesn't make you constipated!? She's just lying!" Limestone snarled as her hoof smashed atop the table in anger.

Troubleshoes didn't want such a fuss made over his intrusion. While the mare's continued to bicker about the various illnesses that their Stew's wrought upon the delicate pony anatomy, he simply left the table to grab himself a second bowl out of the kitchen.

"I could just have seconds." He returned to his seat calmly, the bowl clenched between his teeth, setting it down with a soft clink.

Limestone protectively snatched the new bowl off the table. She wasted no time using her oversized ladle to scoop in huge chunks of potatoes, broth, and stone into the bowl.

Marble had a far more petite ladle for the job. Her soup was filled with Hearty broth, carrots, lettuce, and fresh beets. Stones floated amongst the stew in a dance of elegance, both carried a distinct scent all their own.

As both bowls were slid in front of the oversized stallion, he took a deep inhale of the feast before him. This might just be the largest meal he'd ever come across and something told him, it wasn't quite over just yet.

"Good thing I missed out on a few meals the last few days." He joked as he leaned inward to sip out of the sweetly scented bowl of Ms. Marble which overflowed with a delicious taste like no other.

"Quite wonderful ma'am. " Troubleshoes shifted to the bowl which was close to being overflowed, with a deep drink from the thick and dark liquid, he forced himself to swallow in one go.

"Bold." He spoke with a weakened smile pretty sure the second stew was indeed simply stones.

He could feel rocks punch their way through his gullet, settling in with a heavy thud that instantly made him feel full. The glowing eyes of both mares upon him to finish, he knew this was going to be a long evening.

Pale Moonlight

Troubleshoes gave a massive sigh of relief as the final bowl had been emptied. His once-empty belly was full of various stones and swishing with a dangerous mixture of seasonings. The stallion was just happy that the worst was over, and not one mare thought of him as rude.

"So my soup was pretty amazing right!?" Limestone flashed a confident grin toward her guest who looked away slightly.

"It was unique ma'am. " His mind raced to find the correct words.

"Ha, one of a kind! I knew it!!" Limestone flashed her little sister a smug grin as Marble daintily cleared off the table.

"Mm-hmm? " She softly nudged the stallion on his side, her eyes locked on his with an enchanting glow.

"Hmm, need help clearing ma'am?" He chuckled with a hearty smile as he easily lifted the pots of stew off the table.

Both ponies exited the dining room towards the kitchen with Limestone left to her lonesome at the table. "It's ok, I don't need conversation. " She whispered under her breath cautiously.

"I'm used to it."

"I hope tonight wasn't hectic." Marble spoke with the cutest of whispers as she eased the utensils into the soapy kitchen sink.

"Not at all, not every day two lovely mares make me dinner. It was prettier than finding a bit on a dusty trail. " His hoof tilted his hat towards the mare politely.

"Thank you, I'm not much of a cook." Marble looked away blushing as her hooves delved into the warm water to start scrubbing.

Troubleshoes simply shook his head in disagreement. "That's not true, your soup was something else, it took me back to better times, it took me home." He watched the tiny mare struggle to scrub the massive pot clean.

"May I?" He nudged the mare on her side gently.

"Mm-hmm. " Her cheeks burned a bright pink.

Towering over the mare like a protective mountain, his massive hooves wrapped around both sides of the petite pony. His hoof atop her own, he aided her with scrubbing adding a firm touch to wash away her troubles. Marble felt her tail swish against the stallion, her heart racing with delight.

The dishes were too soon done, as soon the sink had become empty. Troubleshoes happily nod to the mare on a job well done. Marble returned a warm smile in return, as for the first time she felt talkative.

"If you feel like it sir, maybe we could go for a stroll?" Marble's voice lifted into an adorable higher volume.

Without being hidden by a whisper, he had to admit she had a really elegant voice. "Ma'am, it would be my pleasure. " Troubleshoes politely bowed to the mare, who giggled wasting no time to grab her shawl off the kitchen wall.

After all, tonight was so clear and calm. It would be quite a shame not to enjoy it. Both ponies exited through the back quiet as church mice, a flustered Limestone left to watch them vanish from the darkened doorway.

"If I may ask ma'am. You don't seem the rock farming type, I sure hope I'm not overstepping my bounds." Troubleshoes walked by the mare's side basked in the pale blue moonlight.

His gigantic silhouette protectively guarded her from any harm the night could bring, her canter so delicate and feminine as she followed close for a little warmth. Her large violet eyes gazed towards the full moon above, both sparkling as the moonlight caught their glow.

"I wouldn't say it's my first choice, but my family needs me. So I do my best to stick around, not that I'm really of any help." Marble slumped over as she came to a slow stop.

"How so?" Troubleshoes turned to watch over the delicate mare protectively.

"Limestone is the strong one, she does nearly everything on this farm. She breaks her back constantly with little to no reward, and puts her wants behind that of others." Marble winced as she felt her heart begin to crack.

"Yet here I am, barely able to crack rocks. I'm slow at lifting, and my mining skills are mediocre at best. I just want out of here, maybe find my way out west." Tears rolled down her cheeks as she looked out over the horizon.

"West is pretty big for such a small mare." Troubleshoes gently brushed the tears away from her eyes.

"The wide open spaces always called to me, they seem so alive. Plus I've heard they need teachers out there, I always wanted to share my thoughts and teach history." Marble sniffled with a warm smile, these open spaces around her lacking.

So empty and cold.

"Well, I say follow your dreams, ma'am. Life has a knack for passing you by if you decide to get fearful. " Troubleshoes shared his thoughts before brushing her mane away to the side, her face far too pretty to be hidden.

"But what about…" Marble whispered uncertainly as loud hooves rushed towards them out of the bleak darkness.

"Ni…nice night for a walk!" Limestone skidded to a stop beside both ponies, her teeth chattering loudly in the night.

"Ma'am, you seem sort of cold. " Troubleshoes watched the mare shiver and exhale a long cream-colored stream of smoke.

"I…I couldn't…fi…find my coat." The words struggled to escape her muzzle.

"Mm-hmm. " Marble shook her head softly.

"Because I love my late-night blind walks, that's why!?" Limestone snorted defensively towards her sister, blushing embarrassed.

"Maybe it's time to go back inside, good night for some firewater coffee. " Troubleshoes suggested a nightcap to end this exciting evening.

Marble gently scrunched her muzzle at such an idea. Limestone perking up and smiling at the mere mention."Marbles here doesn't partake, she…she…loves her tea instead." She smugly bumped her hips into his.

"Mmmm." Marble glared at her older sister, as she walked happily towards the house with the stallion at her side.

His warmth now protected her from the cold, as an icy shiver caressed down her backside.

"I have a pot already on the boil, and trust me this old bottle of brandy is going to blow your mind." Limestone joked with the stallion, both sharing a light-hearted laugh.

Marble followed behind silently, as the house came closer into view. She wasn't a big drinker at all, but tonight would have to change that. One little cup of Fire Coffee couldn't lead to much trouble.

Could it?