Rage Against The Princess
Celestia the Indomitable
“Princess! Over here!”
Princess Celestia galloped down a street, her eyes keeping a careful watch on the sky overhead. She leapt over a few low walls before skidding to a halt beside the pony that had waved her down.
“By the sun, I’m glad you’re here,” the pony said, snapping off a salute. “Sergeant Onyx Armor, formerly Third Battalion, now of the Reserve Guard.”
She acknowledged his salute with a nod. “What’s the situation, Sergeant?”
“Somepony showed up about ten minutes ago and started causing all kinds of trouble,” he reported. “We lost three ponies in the initial attack.” Onyx shivered. “I saw some awful stuff in my time in the military, but I could really have done without seeing poor Ruby Candy go down like that, ma’am.”
“Bad?”
“Bad,” he confirmed, shivering again. “After the initial attack the other pony seemed to lose interest, which gave us time to get everypony indoors. The other Reserve members are barricading Town Hall with the ponies that live too far outside of town to make it home.”
“And you were the one who volunteered to stay here for reinforcements,” she surmised.
“Yes, ma’am.” He looked behind her. “Is the Guard coming, or…”
She shook her head. “Not for this. The Guard does best with Equestrian threats.”
He considered that for a moment. “Then I’m guessing you won’t mind some backup?”
“The best way you can do that is staying here, to make sure anypony caught in the street can get to Town Hall,” she replied. “Any idea where it went?”
“It was making a mess in the Market Square a few minutes ago,” he finally replied. “I can show you the way there, if you’d like.”
She gave him a patient smile. “No, thank you. Remain here as I asked.”
It was one thing to want to fight alongside her against a more familiar enemy. Against a demon? Ordinary ponies, even former members of the Guard, would only get in the way.
At least they'd had notice of Equestria's impending doom this time. After some unicorns had noted a peculiar magical surge in an area, Celestia had sent several members of the Royal Guard to investigate. Their findings had led to Celestia calling in the other princesses, and the four of them had set out to be ready for when the portal to another world had opened.
It had happened once before, long, long ago. A portal had opened, and four demons had come to Equestria, each wreaking havoc and bringing destruction. Celestia had been forced to fight them herself, only just managing to drive them all back through the portal before it had sealed itself.
This time, with Luna and Twilight having been sent after the first two demons to come through, and facing the unwelcome prospect of sending sweet, tender Cadance after the third, she had gone herself, regardless of her own reservations, and trusted that her dear niece would be strong enough to handle the fourth.
Stepping back into the street, she moved her head back and forth to stretch her neck, earning her a few satisfying pops from the vertebrae within. She felt the first familiar pulses of the thrill of battle, and drew a deep breath, tamping those feelings back down before spreading her wings and going into a low flight between the houses and shops. As she drew near, she angled her wings to give her lift, and carefully alighted on the rooftop of a home that bordered the Square, getting her first glimpse of Jaarath, Demon of Despair.
The Square bore evidence of his arrival, with many of the famous stands – some of which had been owned by the same families for generations – flattened or otherwise destroyed. Celestia knew the ponies of this town would be devastated at what had occurred, but experience was a comfort to the princess in that moment. Her little ponies were resilient – they would rebuild better than before, given the chance.
She fixed her gaze on the demon, which had settled in to wait for something, presumably her. That made her sigh internally; too often, an innumerable number of creatures over the ages had come to try and test her, thinking to beat her.
Celestia preferred not to fight if at all possible. On a night like this, with the whispers of rage tickling at the back of her mind? She would do almost anything to avoid it. That meant that she was going to have to try intimidation first.
“Jaarath,” she called, using the Royal Canterlot Voice with a power that would have made Luna proud. The strength of her voice, combined with her the illumination of her mane by the brilliance of the moon, caused her to cut a truly great and terrible figure…and she hated it.
“Why comest thou to Our realm?” she continued, her words ringing with sufficient force to shake the very ground. “Leave now, in peace, and ye have Our word that ye shall not be harmed.”
“Ah,” the demon called back, rearing up on his back hooves in mock greeting. “Celestia herself hath come to dispose of me. I should feel honored!” He cackled, his voice echoing back off the walls, an effect that only increased the skin-pricking nature of the sound. “But even a foolish old mare should know better than to think I would yield so easily.”
A spark of anger flashed across Celestia’s eyes. “Jaarath,” she said again, “depart from Our realm at once, or ye shall not be spared the wrath of Our vengeance!”
Punctuating her threat was a bolt of lightning from the storm clouds that were now gathering overhead, which cast her as an even more terrifying figure. And she hated it all the more.
“Words won’t be enough, Princess,” Jaarath spat back. “You’ve grown soft and lazy. The Celestia I’ve heard of would have surely attacked by now.”
To his surprise, rather than responding, Celestia spread her wings, gliding down to the square in a smooth, swift motion. She landed gently, though her expression had not changed. It was still the face of a ruler offended on behalf of her people, her eyes hard and her lips drawn back.
“Last chance, Jaarath,” she said, dropping back to a more normal tone. “This is my domain, not yours. Your presence here offends me, and creatures that offend me have a habit of ending up dead – or worse – in short order.” Not by my hoof, of course, a small part of her admitted. Not for a long time.
It had been ages since she had last spoken this way. The thrill of battle that she had been contending with in her mind slowly began to increase in strength again, though not enough to overwhelm her self-control just yet. She focused on her breathing, forcing herself to remain calm.
“Why, Princess, I’m beginning to get the idea that you don’t like me very much.” The demon raised a hoof, blowing on it before polishing it on his chest. “That hurts my feelings. You really aren’t a very nice princess, are you?”
The blast that erupted from her horn was enough to blow a pony-sized hole in the sealed stonework that made up the floor of the Market Square. Jaarath had anticipated her attack, teleporting just in time to avoid it.
It hadn’t actually been her intent to attack him in such a way, but with her blood boiling, it was growing harder to control her magic. Hoping her internal struggle didn’t show, she looked around, spotting him lounging casually atop one of the few remaining stands.
“I do believe you missed,” he said, waving a hoof in her direction. “Care to try again?”
Celestia frowned. His toying with her was pushing all the wrong buttons. She had to end this, fast.
Jaarath let out a cry as the stand he was laying on went up in flames, forcing him to leap into the air to avoid being burned.
“Not fair,” he whined, his magic allowing him to land on another stand, which she just as quickly set ablaze.
Rather than take flight, Celestia walked forward, pushing the demon backward, away from the Square. If she had to drive him back to the portal in this way, she would.
Jaarath would not be so easily cowed. He teleported to a rooftop, the air around his form growing darker as he cast his own magic.
“Ponies! Hear me and know despair!” he shouted, his voice amplified, accompanying his dark magic into the hearts of the innocent ponies hiding in their homes. “This night, Celestia will die, and Equestria shall fall!”
Overdramatic much? Celestia thought without humor.
It was her turn to be surprised. The situation changed from annoying to outright dangerous as the ponies of the town began to rush from their homes, their eyes reflecting the terror they felt within. Celestia’s eyes widened in panic, and she immediately tried to calm the situation.
“My little ponies! Return to your homes!” She tried to put as much love in her voice as she could, but Celestia’s powers of peace were of the slow, immersive sort. They were useless in a situation where ponies were gripped by an otherworldly force that spoke fear and dread to their very souls.
“I don’t think they’re listening, Princess!” Jaarath said, cackling. He reached out with his magic, taking hold of some of the material from the ruined stands and throwing the pieces at the fleeing ponies. Several of them were injured in the first wave, their cries barely able to rise above the chaos.
Composure and tranquility were choices, and for hundreds of years, Celestia had chosen to embrace both. In that moment, seeing her subjects being treated as little more than playthings for the amusement of a twisted demon, she was feeling the temptation to make a different choice, one she had sworn to herself she would never make again.
And that scared her far more than any demon ever could.
Jaarath was in the middle of attacking another innocent pony when he felt an unbelievably strong force smash into his body, sending him hurtling toward a house with such speed that he barely managed to twist and land against it with his hooves, cushioning the blow. His mind whirled – he hadn’t felt any magic directed at him, especially not from Celestia. He teleported to the top of the house, intending to get his bearings.
Before he could even start to consider possibilities, his body was hit again by the same force, this time in the side, which let him get a glimpse of his attacker before he went sprawling.
The demon might have been able to avoid magic, but avoiding an angry alicorn simply relying on brute strength and sheer size was another matter entirely.
For the first time since breaking through to Equestria, he felt a hint of fear. This was not how things were supposed to go.
He decided it was time to tip things back in his favor. Reaching out, he fed off the despair of the ponies around him, building his strength.
He would need it for the coming fight.
Celestia knew she was walking a delicate balance. Her blood was singing with barely-repressed rage, and her mind was working overtime to keep itself above the deluge. She was going closer and closer to the edge with every attack, desperately hoping to convince the demon to leave before she snapped.
I am Princess Celestia. I am not my anger, she thought. I control my rage. It does not control me.
Such statements would have been more effective if she actually believed them. As it was, they were more akin to the whisperings of a frightened filly hiding in the closet from the monsters outside.
Conscious of collateral damage, she held off on further blasts of magic. The risk that she could hit one of her little ponies was far too great.
Hoof and wing would have to do.
Celestia would never make the Wonderbolts. She was too large, too slow in turns to be capable of their maneuvers, but what she lacked in dexterity and finesse, she made up for with sheer strength and wingspan. Those wings beat the air around her into submission, sending her arrowing toward the now-fleeing Jaarath at a terrifying clip.
She slammed into his body, the impact crushing him against the side of a tall house. Her maneuver nearly caused her to crash as well, but she kicked out and away from the wall, the motion straining her muscles. She banked into a long turn, keeping her speed up to try and stop Jaarath from getting a spell lock on her.
The expected counterattack didn’t come. As Celestia finished her turn, she saw Jaarath fleeing for the nearby hills, his attack on the city seemingly abandoned.
Narrowing her eyes, Celestia followed.
By the time she reached the hills, the demon had disappeared inside a previously boarded up gem mine. In his rush to enter he had simply used his magic to blast a unicorn-sized hole through the boards, which meant that she would need to widen the hole if she wanted to fit.
That gave her time to think, and she hesitated. She could, if she wanted, simply seal this mine shaft, trapping the demon inside, where it would be unable to harm anypony until somepony else - perhaps Twilight - could deal with it. It was a tempting thought. Just one blast of magic, and her troubles would be solved.
It certainly was consistent with how she’d handled prior problems.
No, she thought. Not this time. I will not leave yet another problem for future generations to confront.
Her magic ripped the nails out of the boards on each side, and the planks fell to the ground with a clatter. Tossing her head, as if defying anypony to stop her, she boldly stepped inside, descending into the earth with steel in her spine and determination in her eyes.
In the years after Luna’s banishment, Celestia had fought much and bled much. She had thrown herself into bringing peace to the land with such a focus that even her friends at the time had been unable to break through the shell she had built, finally deciding to leave her to her grief. They could only hope she would stop before it was too late, for none of them held the power to do otherwise.
Celestia had answered pain for pain, anger for anger, death for death. When the factions that claimed to follow the Nightmare had risen up, killing and raping and pillaging, Celestia had seen to it that they were swiftly crushed with the utmost prejudice. When various other threats had tried to tear down her fledgling nation, she had responded with such fury that both her fiercest critics and closest allies among the nobility had both been taken aback, neither daring to question her actions – at least not directly to her face.
The first title Celestia had earned, before even that of Princess, had been Lightbringer. After seeing the lengths to which she would go to secure her realm and protect her people, those same people had quietly given her a new title.
Celestia the Indomitable.
The day she heard what the people had taken to calling her, she had retreated to her chambers and cried. That title had been the thing to finally break her shell and tamp down the rage. With clearing eyes, she had looked back at the time since Luna’s banishment, now not with pride, but with a sense of disgust, and a strong urge to vomit. She had set out to rule with love and peace, not with rivers of blood flowing forth from her throne, but in her mind, she had utterly failed at the former and wholly embraced the latter.
If there was one thing she was not, it was indomitable. How could she be, when her rage had so easily controlled her?
She had learned two lessons that day. First, that she was just as capable of hate and cruelty as the Nightmare. Second, that she could never trust herself again, not fully. She now knew what lurked beneath the surface; a monster, waiting for the chance to return.
From that moment forward, she had done everything she could to not ride out in anger again, fearing that if she were to slip once more, she might not be able to overcome what she saw as her dark side. Now, with each heavy step, she could feel her control starting to slip even more, but as it had been with the Nightmare, she was left with no other choice but to act.
Twilight and the others were not waiting around the corner to save her this time.
She continued down for a few more minutes before the tunnel began to open up to an enormous chamber, with pits and cracks spread across the floor. She brightened her horn, casting more light to allow her to better see. Standing at the opposite end of the chamber, once again looking confident and triumphant, was Jaarath.
“So good of you to join me, Princess. I was beginning to get lonely in here.”
“Only one of us will be leaving here tonight, Jaarath,” she replied, her voice cold. “I’m afraid I’ll just have to survive without your company.”
He laughed, genuinely amused. “Well, we can’t have that, can we?” Before she could respond, his horn flashed, and the earth began to tremble around them. “Allow me to bring in a few friends, for the both of us!”
Moans and shrieks began to echo out of the cracks and pits in the ground. She watched, her lip curling in disgust, as misshapen pony-like creatures began to crawl upward, their forms black, all dripping some kind of goo.
“Your horrors will not work on me,” she said, glaring at him. “I have seen things you cannot imagine.”
He laughed again, and this time she felt a chill down her neck.
“And you've caused them too, my dear Princess. You think these are my horrors?” He waved one hoof, making a clicking noise with his tongue. “No, these aren’t my horrors. They’re yours! They’re echoes of all the ponies you killed, when you were so deep in the depths of despair and rage!”
No. No…it can’t be. She took several steps back, no longer caring if her emotions bled through to the surface. As she started to sink further into her own despair, Jaarath’s magic grew stronger, and the echoes became sharper. This was the demon's intent; to see Celestia laid low, her power siphoned off for his own benefit, her life-force finally used for evil and not righteous good.
Jaarath gave a mocking bow, pretending to doff an imaginary cap. “My gift to you, Princess. Oh, but what’s this?” He disappeared briefly, before teleporting back, another pony held in the grasp of his magic. “It seems one of your little ponies followed you in here!”
It was Onyx Armor.
“Let me go, damn you!” the guard shouted, flailing in the demon’s envelope of magic. “Put me down and fight me like a real stallion!”
“Jaarath!” she shouted, anger rising once more as she took another step back to avoid the approaching echoes. “He has nothing to do with this! Let him go!”
“What a touching scene!” Jaarath said. “A hapless guard, come to try and save an unworthy princess, one finally faced with just a fraction of her bloody past.” The demon chuckled. “Princess, because I’m so kind, I’ll offer you a deal. You may go, so long as you leave this charming little pony to me.” He looked up at Onyx’s struggling form. “I think I’ll get a lot of fun out of this one!”
The time to choose was near. She could feel it. “And if I refuse?” she asked, her voice nearly a snarl. If Jaarath had noticed that he was no longer feeding off Celestia's despair, he didn't show it.
The demon smiled. “Then you stay here and die.”
Displaying all the honor and loyalty expected from a member of the Guard, Onyx looked at Celestia. “Princess, get out of here! I’m not worth your life!”
“Ah ah ah,” Jaarath said, using his magic to silence the guard. “The choice belongs to Celestia. But I think I know what she’ll say. She’s been living a lie for centuries, and if she has to sacrifice one deluded pony to continue living that lie, I expect she’ll make the trade.” He looked up again. “I’m afraid, pony, that you swore loyalty to a very unworthy creature.”
Celestia’s eyes moved from Onyx, to the slowly advancing shadows of her past, and back to Onyx again.
The Guard all swore to defend Equestria, to uphold her will…and by extension, Celestia herself. Onyx had followed her in here, determined to keep his oath despite the evident danger. In the face of such loyalty, could she show otherwise?
May the others forgive me for what I am about to do…and may they have the strength to stop me if I cannot stop myself.
She closed her eyes, taking one last breath before finally opening the gates to her full power, allowing the rage to flow unchecked. Her knees nearly buckled with the rush that hit her body, but she remained unbowed. A faint ripple appeared in the air next to her, followed by a flash, as a large sword popped into reality.
She opened her eyes again, seeing the world differently now.
“I have made my choice, Jaarath,” she said, her tone steel and ice and fury, the very air around her beginning to glow with power. “Now, demon, you will see why the fallen of this land once feared the very mention of my name.”
When he later tried to write about what he saw in the cavern that night, Onyx Armor found that the words simply didn’t exist. In the end, he could only say that in that moment, the Princess was the single most beautiful thing he had ever seen.
Celestia moved, her magic bringing her greatsword to bear with a flourish as she faced the echoes of her past with all the power she could muster. The cavern grew intolerably bright, as though the sun itself had come down to share its light and warmth, though this light came from Celestia herself.
Wave after wave of dripping echoes staggered forward, and she went forward to meet them. She cut, she slashed, she kicked and stomped and burned and crushed and did everything she had to, fully committed to save one humble, simple pony that had reminded her of her duty, consequences be damned.
Onyx watched as Jaarath’s expression changed, going from elation, to puzzlement, to fear, as the demon realized that his plan was failing around him. He dropped the guard, moving to make his escape, but Celestia had anticipated this. With blasts of magic, she sealed the tunnels leading out of the chamber, giving the demon only one way out.
Through her.
With one final blast of power, Celestia purged the remaining echoes, sending their forms sliding back to the pits from whence they came. She paused, taking first a breath, then two, before turning to the cause of all this.
“I warned you,” she began, slowly advancing on the wilting demon, “that if you did not leave, you would not be spared my vengeance.”
“P…p…please, Princess, reconsider!” the demon cried, scrabbling. “Think; if you kill me, you might never escape the clutches of your anger!”
Celestia halted, her eyes narrowing. Sensing he’d struck a chord, the silver-tongued demon continued. “That’s right. Think, Princess. You don’t really want to go back to your old ways, do you? You might become a monster again, and then what would all the little ponies think? To say nothing of your sister.”
“My sister,” Celestia repeated.
“That’s right,” Jaarath said, feeling a surge of relief. He was back in control again. “You wouldn’t want her to see what you truly are under that mask you wear, would you?”
There was a very faint hiss as Celestia’s sword sailed through the air, the blade impaling the demon with enough force that his body continued traveling backward until it landed against the wall with a wet crunch. His eyes flared in pain, and he opened his mouth, perhaps to pronounce one final curse, but only a bubbling gurgle came out before his head slumped to the side, his eyelids sliding closed.
“It was always for her,” Celestia whispered. “Her, and all the other little ponies that looked up to me.”
She watched for a minute, until she was satisfied that the demon was dead. Only then did she let the power subside, and sat down heavily, not caring that the ground was covered with slime and muck from all the echoes she had fought. With effort, she tried to marshal her racing thoughts.
Somehow, she had opened herself back up to her full power…and she hadn’t fallen. If anything, she felt more in control now than she had in years. She knew she would likely spend years dealing with the ramifications of this development, but for the first time in centuries, she felt…perhaps not positive, but hopeful for her own future.
While her mind might have been occupied, her body had its own needs, and she began taking several deep breaths as the shakes began to hit her.
Onyx had stayed off to the side, unsure how to even speak to the Princess in light of what he’d just seen, but, seeing she was in evident need, he came forward, reaching out one hoof to rest it on her side.
“It’s okay,” he said, recognizing the post-battle shakes. “You did what you had to do. You did it for Equestria.”
She made a sound between a choke and a laugh, looking up at her loyal subject with a glint in her eyes.
“Sergeant,” she began, her voice surprisingly light, “if you’re here to give me a pep talk, does this mean I’m under your command now?”
“I…uh…I didn’t mean –“ He cut off, as Celestia began to giggle.
She knew she should be solemn and serious in this moment, but the growing realization that she might not be the monster she had painted herself as had her feeling positively giddy.
“I’m sorry, Sergeant, but even a Princess has to joke from time to time,” she said, letting out one last chuckle before her face turned serious again. “But I think we had best be going. I fear that the other Princesses will be facing similar tests, and they may need my help.”
And I might actually be of more help than usual, she thought with considerable surprise.
She led him out of the mine before teleporting him back to the town, where the various ponies that had been under Jaarath’s influence were slowly recovering, having gathered in the remnants of the Market Square.
“Princess! Is it…gone?” one of the ponies asked. “Did you stop it?”
Celestia felt apprehension. She couldn’t lie here – not with a witness to what she’d done next to her. Onyx was a soldier, so it was natural he’d been calm about how she had acted, but how would ordinary ponies react to knowing their Princess had killed?
She thought about brushing it off. Really, nopony would question her if she did. But, truthfully, she was tired of living a lie. If her little ponies thought she was evil for defending them, so be it. She stepped up on what passed for a stage, giving her a good view of the crowd. “He will trouble you no more,” she said. “He refused to yield, and so I was forced to destroy him.”
The ponies that had gathered exchanged glances before turning back to her, relief evident in their faces. One pony let out a cheer, and the others quickly followed suit.
Celestia was dumbstruck. They…approve? She had expected a variety of responses, but abject praise hadn't made the list.
An older pony near her makeshift stage, who was hard of hearing and therefore tended to shout, soon provided an answer. “That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you, Juniper. Being peaceful doesn’t mean you have to be a pushover. If Celestia can step up to defend us, then you can defend yourself when needed.”
She added that thought to the stack she would sort through later, turning to Onyx Armor, who was standing near her.
“Sergeant, see to it that everypony makes it home, would you? I’m afraid I’m needed elsewhere.”
He saluted. “Of course, Princess. And thank you for…” He cut off, seemingly unsure how to phrase what he wanted to say.
“You’re welcome,” she replied. She knew what he meant. “Thank you for reminding me of something I had forgotten.”
Before he could ask exactly what she meant by that, she leapt into the air, heading toward where Luna had gone.
Celestia had been living a lie…a lie she had told only to herself. She’d never been a monster, not even in her darkest days. A monster would never have taken the time to consider her actions, to change her course in the way she had. She’d been grieving, and had done many hard things, but there had always been her principles running at the core of all those actions.
Celestia would never admit it, but those long-gone ponies had been right to call her Celestia the Indomitable. That she refused to see herself as such made the description only more apt.
No matter the challenge, The Lightbringer would never be extinguished.
Author's Note
Celestia is a challenge to write in a story like this, where we're in her head for almost all of it. Any character that has been around for as long as she has won't see things in the way we do...but I think they would still be prone to the same follies.
Obviously, Celestia often loses in the show due to the demands of the plot, but I decided I wanted to see if I could give a different reason for her struggles. I wrote this Celestia as having a self-image problem, exacerbated by the fact that she was alone for a long, long time, with nopony to turn to. Some of that was self-imposed, some of that was simply from the realities of being an immortal monarch. A monster she was not, but without anyone she trusted to tell her otherwise, she believed her own worst thoughts, and internalized those until they became a real problem she had to surmount.
How often are we our own worst enemies?
This Celestia isn't 'cured' by any means - you don't overcome a thousand years of thinking a certain way in one night - but I expect that with time, she could rise back to being the pony she was always meant to be.
Hopefully you enjoyed this. Feedback, good or bad, is always appreciated.
