That's for my house you jerk!
I walked down the props area with my friends, I and the boys were extremely tall, like, REALLY tall, we were all six-foot-eleven. Everyone wanted to take photos of us, because we're, you know, tall. I went to one stand and I saw... Kizaru's Justice jacket, my other boys were dressed up as the other admirals. Aidan was Akainu, and Skyler was Kuzan. We walked close to the stand and I reached for my pocket and took out my wallet.
"Oi, how much are the Justice Jackets? We would like to purchase them." I asked the man who ran the shop, it was the merchant from Red Dead Redemption. The Merchant looked up to us, him being an estimated five foot five inches.
"For you guys? And having such great costumes? Free, take them." I look down at him with a raised eyebrow.
"Hold on, is there a catch?" Asked Skyler, the man who's always questioning things.
"No sir, you can take it." We look at him once, then, we all reached for our jackets... and... Poof... The Merchant grinned.
"Have fun~"
I walked to my house, almost standing as tall as the trees. My house was concealed in a forest, full of animals and stuff like that. Let me catch you guys up on my story, ahem. Two years ago I popped into a place called Equestria from this show called My Little Pony Friendship is Magic, I hate this show it's girly, anyway! I read these stories on this little cute app called Fimfiction, basically Pony fiction. I read HiE stories, (Human in Equestria) and I read a story about a man getting experimented on because he was different... Yeah that fucking scarred me. So I decided to hide, but since I am the most overpowered character in One Piece I trained myself so I can defend myself when the time comes.
But as I walk to my house I saw that it was... Destroyed, utterly destroyed. Demolished, crushed, shattered, obliterated, reduced to atoms. I looked at it with a feeling that I haven't felt in a while, pure unadulterated rage. I clench my fists, them shaking.
"Who the hell did this... To my home?" I asked myself but alas it was answered by an explosion. I quickly headed over there as fast as light, literally. I shot there as a streak of light, spotting a four-legged centaur guy and a young woman with wings and horns, before any of them made a move, I kicked the centaur in the head. Sending it tumbling through forests and into a distant rock formation.
"That's for my home you asshole!" I shouted out before looking at the young woman who looked at me. It was actually a humanized pony, I'm guessing that Sparkle girl. She just looked at me with pure shock, I look towards where I kicked the centaur and I heard a pop next to me.
"Who the hell are you?" I turn towards the voice and you guessed it, it was the centaur.
"I'm just a man living out in the woods, having the time of my life... Until you, two destroyed my damn house." I frown, the centaur backed away, intimidated. "You kinda look like a villain, so I'm going to beat your ass now."
"Wait wha-" Before the centaur finished his sentence, I kicked him into the air, following him using my Pika-Pika No Mi, I reached him and kicked him in the nose, and sent him into the earth. I then shot at him and slammed both on my feet into his skull, making spiderweb-like cracks into the earth. The centaur got up and I was gone, he looked around frantically, I appeared and I slammed my fist into his jaw. He was sent flying backward, but then I appeared above him because of my speed and stomped on him, he crashed into the earth. I grabbed the centaur by the horns while he was on the ground and reeled back my leg and kicked him in his lower spine. The centaur let out a cry out pain before I go for another stomp only to find him gone when I do.
"Oh?" I asked before the centaur tried to slam his fist into me, but due to my logia intangibility, it went through me. He stumbled forward before looking at me with fear.
"What?! What are you?!" The centaur turned his body to me before taking a few steps back, while I just took a few steps forward.
"What am I?" A yellow aura surrounded me, "I'm the fucking Yellow Monkey." I flew at him and slammed a fist into the poor man's gut, this time enhancing it by Armament Haki. The centaur was sent flying and crashed into somewhere as I saw him flying far, I whistled.
"He sure flew didn't he?" I chuckled before a heard a pop, suspecting it to be the centaur again I found out I was wrong and found it to be the Sparkle girl. "Hello, young lady."
She was speechless, looking at me her mouth agape, "What kind of magic do you have? It's like nothing I've ever seen." Sparkle girl pulled out a notebook and ink & quill, out of thin air, but before she summoned them her horn lit up.
"It's not magic, it's my Devil Fruit, for I ate the Pika-Pika No Mi, making me l-" That was all I could mutter before the top half of me was sent flying into the air and hit the floor. I looked up in the sky, unamused as Sparkle girl gasped deeply and took a step back. I then hear the laughing of the centaur.
"Now there's no one to save you Twilight Sparkle! Now just surrender and give me your magic." The centaur took a step, I look to see the Pegasis-Unicorn thing look to the centaur, a single tear went down her eye.
"You will not take another life Tirek, you have caused too much trouble, it's time to meet your end." Twilight took a step forward. I sigh before my bottom half jumped up, causing both of them to jump back, I form myself back to my bottom half, feeling whole again.
"Okay now I'm sure you're the bad guy in this situation, so uh... Surrender." I say looking to Sparkle then to the T-Rex guy.
"Surrender? Pfft, just because you got some lucky shots does not mean you can take me down you monkey!" T-Rex threw his head back before I flew at him and grabbed him by the mouth. Shutting it.
"It's Yellow Monkey, don't you forget that T-Rex." I frown before slamming his head into the ground and flying, grinding his head into the ground as I flew as fast as light before throwing him into a mountain top. I fire off a beam of yellow at the mountain top, destroying it. I put my hands in my pocket, looking at it, hearing a pop next to me.
"So how long do you think he'll be up there?" Sparkle turned to me, I shrugged.
"Does it look like I know? He could be charging a blast to kill me, which he can't or he's just dead." I yawned, she looked at me before at the mountain.
"What can kill you?" Twilight asked me, I just looked down at her and said in the best KSI impression I could conjure.
"Wotah." I smiled just as T-Rex tried to ram into me with his body, he went through me and caught himself, I waved Sparkle off and T-Rex flew at me trying to hit me while I stood there. Trying to land a hit on me but failing, I hear Sparkle girl say.
"Incredible, absolutely incredible! This creature is overpowering Tirek, the same guy who absorbed all of the magic in Equestria including Discord!" Sparkle cried out, I just grinned. "How is he so strong, I'll have to ask him later."
T-Rex started to huff and puff as he swung his big meaty arms at me, flailing uselessly. I sighed and he glared up at me, I just looked down at him.
"Are you done yet?" I asked him, T-Rex nodded. "Good." I kicked T-Rex in his gut and sent him flying, I appeared behind him and sent him flying into the air, I then play ping-pong him and start to throw him around like a rag doll before kicking him onto the floor, making a tiny crater. I then fire off beams of light from above down at him, hitting him like rain but more painful. Again, I appeared before him, peering down into his soul.
"You... HOW ARE YOU SO DAMN POWERFUL?!?!?!" T-Rex roared, glaring up to me a stream of blood fell down his head and onto the scorched earth. I looked down at him, with a smirk.
"You haven't figured it out yet?" I began, "You see, you're not dealing with the average human anymore, I have ascended, I have become, A SUPERHUMAN!!!" I struck a pose and I started to shine.
"My eyes!" T-Rex clutched his eyes and I just kick him in his face again because it's so damn fun playing with my food. T-Rex rolls across the earth and skids to a halt just a few feet away from me. Then Sparkle girl walked in front of me, putting her between me and T-Rex.
"That's enough, let me go talk to him." I looked down at her with a raised eyebrow, but I accept and back off.
"Meh, you can do what you want with him, I'm just going to get something to eat." I turn around and I fly off.
Sparkle looks at Tirek's injured form, he was beaten so easily by me, Tirek looked up to me. She shook her head and kneeled down to him, to be on his level.
"Give it up Tirek, you and both know you can't beat me as you are now. You're battered, beaten, you're weak." She looks into his eyes, which were full of rage. Tirek clenched his teeth.
"Shut up! Just because you have that Super Human doesn't mean anything!" Tirek stood to his feet, falling to a knee before trying to stand up straight.
"See? You can barely stand, the Super Human gave you quite the beating. So just surrender, though you have killed countless ponies I do not wish for you to die." Sparkle sighed, turning around she was met with me eating some chips I found in a store.
"Hello there, do you want me to kick his face again?" I asked the unicorn before shoving another chip in my mouth, T-Rex scrambled back. Before grinning, I didn't like that.
"Hehe... You think you have the high ground here-" I cut his ass off.
"Excuse me, I'm quite literally taller than you and her combined. So I quite literally have the high ground." I look down at the centaur, he growled.
"I don't mean literally you dol-" I reeled back my leg for a kick and T-Rex shut up.
"Good." I put my foot back down, "So what were you saying?"
"I was saying... I have your friends Twilight Sparkle!" T-Rex snapped his fingers and six ponies along with this weird Goosebumps mistake appeared, all in bubble cages. Twilight gasped and took a step back. "Their release for all the Alicorn magic in Equestria." I hear their friends protest, saying things like 'No don't do it' or 'We're not worth it!' blah, blah, blah!
"What's it going to be, Princess?" T-Rex looked down at Sparkle girl with a grin, I turned to her, chowing down on my chips. She looked rather conflicted but I said nothing. The ponies trapped started talking but I couldn't hear them, I was too busy chewing my snack. "I want an answer NOW!!!"
"...I will give you my magic in exchange for all of my friends." Sparkle girl looked up to T-Rex, they start blabbing on and I got so bored I decided to lay down.
"Alright then..." T-Rex snapped his fingers and all but the Goosebump dude fell.
"I said all of my friends." Sparkle frowned, I just sighed, eating my chips too.
"After he's betrayed you?" T-Rex pointed to the Goosebump dude.
"Did I stutter?" Sparkle countered T-Rex sighed.
"As you wish." The Goosebump dude fell on his stomach.
"Thanks, Twilight," Goosebump dude turned to Shy girl because she seemed like one just by her appearance. "I'm sorry..."
I mentally scream, 'I fucking hate this, can we get to the ACTION!??!?!? Like god damn!' I roll around on the ground and I start breakdancing because why the hell not?
"Your turn..." T-Rex charged up a beam from his horn and starts draining the poor girl of her magic, I hear her let out a scream, I clench my fist slightly but then unclenched it, I would have my turn. Then T-Rex started to grow and grow to his max height and I let out a whistle. I then look to T-Rex.
"You think you can take me now?" I asked him, he looked down at me with an evil grin.
"I know I can!" I then run away and T-Rex follows me, as I lead him away from the girls I took a peek back. They started to run away, "Let's fight here..." I then stop, a few meters away from them.
"Alright show me what you g-" I was then hit by a giant fist, though it went through me, I was kind of scared. I flew up to his face and went for a roundhouse kick only for him to charge up a blast from his horn, using my light speed I evaded the attack. I appear behind T-Rex and I slam my fist into his head, making the giant centaur hit the floor with a bang.
"Get fucked T-Rex." I laughed, pointing at the centaur as I charged up a beam of light, T-Rex shot off a beam of magic but it went through me.
"It's Tirek, you insufferable buffoon!" T-Rex roared, I shrugged.
"Whatever you say, Big T." He growled and I just smirked, then a bright light appeared and our attention was turned to there. Up came an orb that held Super Ponies, it looked like they went Super Saiyan.
"How?! You have no magic!" T-Rex took a step back, I just smile and put on my shades, this is going to be bright.
"You may have stolen my Alicorn magic but you forgot the most powerful magic of all... Friendship!" I cringe at this comment and they shot their Gay Laser down at T-Rex and he was sent to Brazil or whatever he's going to. Probably Pony Hell, is there a Pony Hell? Questions for later. Then everything was enveloped in a rainbow shockwave that nearly blew my Justice Jacket off. Then a big rainbow was formed and a weird tree came and made a fucking castle. How? The ponies dropped out of their Super Saiyan forms and walk up to the castle wowing at it. I look at the surroundings and eat my chips.
"Hey this is nice and all but who's this weirdo?" I hear a raspy voice say, I turn to the voice and I say.
"I'm the Yellow Monkey, Kizaru."
Author's Note
Yeah, I'm good at life.
