Game Night 2

The sun had just set over Canterlot, which left the city to bask in a comfortably serene glow. As the skies began to morph from a deep pink to a calm and tranquil blue, Canterlot Castle looked fairly calm while standing over the Equestrian Horizon. It had only been a few months since Princess Twilight Sparkle was coronated as the nation’s newest Ruler, but it seemed that Equestria had already morphed into a safer place in such a short amount of time. And since the atrocities of the Legion of Doom looked to be long behind Equestria’s citizens, there wasn’t much reason for high alert or paranoia within Canterlot Castle’s hallowed halls.

The main Throne Room, which was usually bustling with activity, was now nearly empty after Twilight lowered the son and raised the moon. The Alicorn herself had just left for Ponyville, as she was scheduled to spend some much-needed time with her friends for a weekend trip as part of their monthly visits. Her Royal Advisor, who usually went along with her on said trips, was given the perfect opportunity to have the Throne Room to himself for the night. Since he and Twilight had spent so many days exhausted from the endless duties of ruling over Equestria, the pudgy little dragon wasn’t against having a night to unwind by himself. And since he could easily just fly down to Ponyville himself in the morning, Spike was determined to take full advantage of his first Game Night in Canterlot Castle.

“Aaaahhhhhh…” As soon as the last of the castle’s staff exited the Throne Room, Spike sighed in satisfaction while marveling at the display left for his group. The large table that carried the Cutie Map -- something that was moved from Twilight’s previous castle to this one -- already had the full map set up for a rousing game of Ogres and Oubliettes. Several chairs were already arranged, since Spike and Big Mac agreed to try and find some new players for this night’s round of fun. And to better commemorate this event, Spike had a large table set up with lots of various snacks and drinks. “Now this is what I call a night off~”

As he waited for his friend to arrive, Spike helped himself to some nachos prepared by the castle kitchen staff, as well as a can of Red Manticore to upkeep his energy. He had no idea who Big Mac was bringing in as a new player, but Spike’s special guest was currently getting himself situated in the guest room elsewhere in the castle. Discord said that he would try to find someone to join as well, but neither of them were aware of who -- or even what -- that might pertain. Heck, given how many contacts and weird ideas that draconequus could have (especially as the DM of tonight’s session), Spike wouldn’t have been surprised if the Smooze slid his way past the open doors.

“Heya there, Spike!”

The dragon’s face lit up as he looked over at the doorway, and saw his friend Big Mac trotting in with a huge smile. Since this was the first time he and Spike got a chance to meet since the coronation, the dragon instantly flew in with the aid of his little wings. “Big Mac!” Spike was fortunate enough to swallow his half-eaten nachos before pulling Big Mac in a tight hug, which the stallion quickly reciprocated. “Ohmigosh, it’s been way too long, dude!”

“Heh~ Eeyup!” Mac and Spike hugged it out for a few seconds before letting so. While Spike looked past the stallion to see who may have been joining them, Big Mac’s eyes widened when he saw the massive table of food waiting for them. “W-Whoa! Geeze louise, Spike! You really went all out, didn’cha?”

“Oh yeah! Help yourself~” Spike stepped aside so Big Mac could walk over to the table of various snacks and horderves, which included quite an array of tasty options. Spike may have prepared the queso dip himself, but the pizzas and multiple fried foods were all made without issue by the castle staff. Mac looked absolutely bewildered by how much there was made available, but all he could do was shake his head with a light scoff. Spike smirked confidently at his friend’s reaction, and said, “Yeah, I said I would cover the snacks for tonight last time we played, remember?”

“Yeah, fair enough,” he said with a shrug of his head. As he helped himself to a plate to set up his meal, he said back to Spike, “Ah ain’t gonna lie, if this how you’ve been eatin’, Ah’m surprised you ain’t gained a ton of weight yet.”

“Hey, the castle does have a world-class gym.” Spike flew back to the table as well, and picked up his can of Red Manticore as he pointed out, “Ever since we fought the Legion of Doom, I’ve been working my butt off getting my self-defense skills improved.”

“Well, good for you!” Big Mac looked legitimately happy by that detail. “Who’ve you been gettin’ training from? Shining Armor?”

“Ugh, I wish.” Spike rolled his eyes as he tried not to groan from that option. “I tried talking with him about it, but he’s too busy up in the Crystal Empire to help out. He tried recommending Tempest Shadow, but uhhhh… that would be kinda awkward.”

Mac couldn’t help wincing as he nodded in agreement. “Yeah, Ah don’t blame ya there. Plus, Ah know Applejack’s been workin’ with her on some friendship quests recently.”

“Oh yeah, I heard about that! How did that trip go?”

“Honestly, Ah figured you’d know more about it than me.” Mac gave a light shrug of his shoulders. “Considerin’ how busy Sweet Apple Acres got after the coronation, it ain’t easy focusin’ on more than the farm nowadays.”

“Oh, is that so?” Spike grew a cheekier-looking smirk as he placed his claws at the sides of his plump, scaly hips. “Hopefully you still have plenty of time for your wife~”

“Well, of course Ah do!” Big Mac rolled his eyes with a strong scoff, looking almost insulted by that implication. “Heck, we’ve been spendin’ so much of our free time together, she was more excited for me to visit Canterlot than Ah was.”

“Wait, seriously?” asked Spike with one of his brows raised in confusion. “Uhhh… she is aware of what kind of session Discord would be planning, right?”

“Eeyup!” Big Mac didn’t look the slightest bit worried, and raised a hoof in assurance when he said, “It’s alright, Spike. Ah have an understandin’ with Sugar Belle regardin’ those sorts of things. As long as Ah ain’t with any other mares, all’s fair game.”

“Oh, really now?” Spike was pleased to hear his friend had that kind of deal set up, but he couldn’t help asking in a sly tone, “Does that mean she can do whatever she wants if it isn’t with other stallions?~”

“Yeah… Yeah, that was the deal…” Spike’s question certainly caused Big Mac’s smile to skew slightly. But even with that odd mental image in his head, Mac wasn’t one to keep from saying, “Still though, Ah’m just glad to have somepony as open-minded as myself.”

“Yeah, definitely!” Spike chuckled to himself while shaking his head in bewilderment. “Geeze, I can’t imagine how many mares would’ve been cool with what we did the last time we played O&O, amiright?~”

Both of them blushed while giggling from that statement, although Big Mac appeared to be much more flustered than his draconic friend. Even though he was very grateful about how well things went following their Discord-hosted session, he was equally as aware of how easily Sugar Belle could’ve freaked out about it. Luckily, much like Spike’s sibling-like bond with Princess Twilight, Mac was lucky to have somepony in his life who carried great chemistry between them. And since things ended on such a pleasant note, Mac was able to point out, “Honestly, if anything, it was trickier for me to find someone else willin’ to join us tonight.”

“Yeah, I was just about to ask about that…” Spike picked up his nachos to munch on, and glanced back at the doorway with a curious look on his face. “So… Who did you find to join us? I don’t even know who Discord brou--”

Spike’s question was cut off when he overheard a couple of guys laughing outside the Throne Room. Much to Spike and Big Mac’s surprise, it seemed that their guests had found each other on their way down the hallway. When the two looked back at the open ornate doorway, it was just as the new players entered side-by-side while conversing with one another.

“Jeeze, you actually said that to the drill instructor?!” One the left stood a familiar orange stallion, who’s rich auburn mane was just as thick and frizzy as his goatee. He was trying not to chuckle too loudly while using his magic to keep his rounded bifocals atop his muzzle. “How the heck could you get away with that? I mean, I know you’re a national hero and all, but still!”

“Yeah, I know, I know…” Beside Sunburst was the second guest of the evening, who was a young blue gryphon fresh out of his cadet armor. Gallus, who was still a little sweaty after his day in training, had to wipe his blue and yellow feathers with a claw while shaking his head. “To be fair, he made me scrub the barrack toilets with a toothbrush. But still, the other guys thought it was a good joke.”

“Wait, you brought Gallus?!” Spike looked back at Big Mac with a surprised expression. “How the heck did you get him for this? He left for basic training over a month ago.”

“Well to be fair,” retorted Mac with a light shrug, “Ah just ran into him this mornin’ when Ah arrived in Canterlot. Ah originally asked my cousin Braeburn, but he couldn’t leave Apploosa on short notice. Gallus happened to see me by the station and we got to talkin’. His weekend leave just started, so Ah figured why not?”

“Hey there, Spike!” Gallus took notice of the two rather quickly, and rushed up to the snack table with a huge smile. “WHOA! Is that all for us?”

“Uhh, I guess so~” Spike may have been a little surprised to see a student from the School of Friendship being part of tonight’s activities; but at the same time, given his own appearance, Spike wasn’t one to judge someone as young-looking as Gallus participating. Much like the dragon, Gallus was also a legal adult by Equestrian Law. The gryphon gave Spike and Big Mac claw-bumps respectively, and then grabbed a plate to get himself some food. Upon seeing how many slices of pizza the gryphon was getting, Spike had to shake his head with a smirk and ask, “So, I’m guessing you’ve been missing food outside the Royal Guard mess hall?”

“Actually it’s not that bad.” Gallus took a huge bite of pizza, just as Sunburst came up to join the group. “Ah mead,” he continued with his beak half-full, “id wasn’t like the Thool of Friendthip’s food, dats for thure…”

“Yeah, I get what you mean,” added Sunburst, who helped himself to a can of Red Manticore himself with his magic. “I think Starlight Glimmer actually turned down a bonus from the EEA so the school’s cafeteria could keep meat products on the menu.”

Just before he could open his can, Sunburst smiled wide and reached a hoof out for Mac to shake. “Oh, it’s nice seeing you again, Big Mac! Spike told me you have quite an impressive stat-list built up for your Knight.”

“As a matter of fact, Ah do!” Mac shook the stallion’s hoof cheerfully, and asked, “So, what character do you have?”

“Well, since Spike already has the Wizard stats with Garbunkle, I decided to bring my Chevalier for tonight’s game.” Sunburst then stepped back to reach into his long cape, and pulled out a small notebook to flaunt his character stats. “Sir McBiggun, I’d like to introduce you to Lord Aldermane! He’s a dedicated fighter who rose up to the ranks to be the top swordsman, despite not having a horn like his magic-based counterparts. He’s all muscle and no holds barred~”

Big Mac let out an impressed whistle when he saw the sketch of Lord Aldermane drawn up by Sunburst. The stallion looked fairly similar to the Vice Headmare, albeit as a more muscular Earth Pony. He was wearing a good amount of pitch-black armor to conceal his orange mane and coat, including a thick medieval helmet with only two small slits to serve as eye-holes. While he would’ve expected for somepony like Sunburst to have a more magic-based hero like Spike, Big Mac couldn’t fault the impressive stats beside the character’s written backstory.

“Yeesh!” Spike had to hover up in the air by his wings to peek behind Sunburst’s back, and read through the character stats himself. “And I thought Shining was the biggest O&O nerd.”

While Sunburst rolled his eyes with an unoffended scoff, Big Mac turned his attention towards Gallus. “So, didn’t you say you had a character already made yourself?”

“Hmm? O-Oh yeah!” Gallus put down his plate, which was already mostly devoured while the others were talking. The gryphon wiped the grease from his claws with a napkin before reaching into the satchel hanging by his shoulder. He pulled out a couple scraps of notebook paper that carried his character stats. “To be fair, I only played the game a few times with Sandbar and Ocellus back in school. But I do have a character written out…”

Sunburst used his magic to levitate the papers up for the others to see. Gallus’ character was much more crudely drawn than Sunburst’s, but it still gave a good look at who the gryphon was playing. It basically looked like himself, but wearing a slender black cloak to conceal his overall appearance. The name at the top of the sketch read ‘Garrus Blackclaw,’ while his stats were numbered along the side. Sunburst’s muzzle skewed from the unimpressive stats Gallus’ Thief character had; but from Spike and Big Mac’s perspectives, they looked fairly pleased that someone like Gallus would have a character thought out in the first place.

“Ooh, nice character!” Spike tilted his head while looking at the thief costume on Garrus Blackclaw, which happened to have a row of potions hanging from a strap over his chest. “Are those potions for deception or combat?”

“Uhhhh, maybe both?” Gallus shrugged with a sheepish-looking smile, clearly still learning the ropes of the game itself. “To be fair, I mostly drew those on because they looked cool.”

“Well, I think they look cool!” said the drawing itself, who suddenly came to life on the page. Everyone screamed and jolted back from the papers, which remained hovering in the air without Sunburst’s magic. The sketch of Garrus looked down at his chest-strap lined with differently-colored bottles, his beak smirking with intrigue. His voice came out with a distinctly posh and familiar-sounding tone when he said, “To be fair though, I’m sure I can come up with some wonderful ideas myself~”

A bright flash of light exhumed out from the papers, allowing for a portal-like entrance to be made for the night’s DM of honor. Discord, who was already wearing the bright green tunic of his archer character, Captain Wuzz, emerged from the portal and walked down a floating red carpet. Spike and Big Mac may have been more used to the draconequus’ antics, but they still looked surprised for a second before quickly scoffing in response. Meanwhile, Sunburst and Gallus remained rightfully wide-eyed in shock by the time Discord’s mismatched legs touched the ground. Before he could turn off the magical feed from Gallus’ character sheets, he reached out to give the sketch inside a respectful claw-bump.

“Alright then!” Discord paid no heed to the bewildered stares he was getting from the new players, and used his magic to float up both of their character sheets for a quick inspection. Despite how dismissive the draconequus may have originally been about Ogres and Oubliettes, he had learned enough about the game to give a quick analysis of both of their characters. “Hmmm… A Chevalier and a Thief, very interesting… Garrus Blackclaw definitely needs some grinding in the future, but his luck stats are thankfully high. Lord Aldermane definitely has an impressive resume, though…”

Sunburst managed to beam pridefully from that compliment, despite still blushing in intimidation. Gallus just rolled his eyes, not appearing to be too offended by Discord’s critique. As he glossed through both of the players’ character backstories more extensively, Discord munched on a slice of pizza crust-first from the table and assessed his plans. “Hmmmm… Yes, I believe both of these gentlemen will fare very well in my scenario~”

Discord floated the papers back to Sunburst and Gallus, before asking the two, “Just before we get into the ‘Nitty-Gritty’ of things, have Spike and Big Mac informed you of what kind of O&O session this’ll be?~”

Both of them blushed quite a bit, while Spike and Big Mac just chuckled with nervous-looking smiles. Gallus was the first to answer with a hesitant nod of his head. “W-Well, I mean… I don’t want to admit too much about myself, but uhhhh… the sessions I played with Sandbar and Ocellus weren’t exactly ‘family-friendly’ either…”

Spike got wide-eyed from that admission, but he kept any opinions about Gallus’ experience to himself. After all, considering how one of Gallus’ friends was a shape-shifting changeling, the dragon knew from his experience with Thorax how easily things could get frisky behind closed doors. Meanwhile, Big Mac just huffed with a smirk and replied, “Heh~ Sounds like you’ll fit right in tonight.”

Gallus just rolled his eyes with a flustered scoff, while Sunburst tried to answer on his own behalf. “Well, in my case… Spike figured it’d be safer to ask me instead of Shining Armor for obvious reasons…”

“Hmmm…” Discord took a moment to process that partial answer, before glancing back at Spike curiously. “Just to be clear, is that because Shining is married? Because if so, I’d be surprised if Cadance was less accepting of our plans than Sugar Belle.”

Big Mac tried not to cringe worriedly from that point, but it wasn’t nearly as obvious as Spike’s apprehensive wince. “Well, uhhh… Considering what happened a while back with you reviving Sombra and all, Shining probably wouldn’t accept the invitation regardless.”

“Oh, for crying out loud!” Discord groaned in exasperation with a strong eye-roll. “I already apologized to both of them publicly! I even paid for Flurry Heart’s college fund! What more do I have to do?!”

“H-Hey, if it means anything,” said Sunburst, who tried to intervene on Shining’s behalf, “they both really do appreciate that gift. Shining told me that himself! I think the mood is just a little… awkward right now.”

“Oh, whatever…” Discord waved aside that excuse with his claw, not wanting to press the issue any further than it needed to be. After a quick sigh, Discord snuck a glance past the fourth wall, and gave a cheeky smirk back at you, the reader of this story. “If you ask me, it sounds like the author just wanted a break from writing Shining Armor all the time~”

“Huh?” Gallus tilted his head confusedly at the draconequus. “What was that?”

“Oh, nothing. Nothing at all~” Discord then went back to the story, completing his quota of meta humor for the chapter.

“So, uhhh… Discord, did you bring anyone for tonight?” asked Big Mac curiously. “We kinda figured you’d have somepony thou--”

“MMMPHH! Spike, these fried pickles are awesome, dude! Can we get more?”

Everyone turned their attention back to the refreshment table, with Spike looking especially shocked by who was shoving his muzzle full of the fried snacks. A tall, pale-green pegasus was taking full advantage of the free grub with a couple plates stacked with food on his back. He was also shoving most of the fried pickles in his mouth, covering the five-o-clock shadow on his muzzle with a thin sheen of grease. As he gorged on the goods like an undignified rube, Discord groaned with a paw over his face in embarrassment. Spike and Mac asked at the same time, “Zephyr Breeze?!”

“Uhhh, who?” asked Gallus, who had never met the stallion in a man-bun before. Sunburst looked equally as unaware, and could only shrug when the gryphon looked back at him.

“I’m sorry, guys,” said Discord apologetically to his friends. “Fluttershy practically begged me to get him out of her parents’ manes for a while. Apparently, he infuriated them both enough to kick him out of the house.”

“H-Hey, that’s not true!” Zephyr stopped his unceremonious binging to swallow the half-eaten food in his mouth, and turn back to Discord with a hoof pointedly raised. “In my defense, I had no idea that trombone in the attic was a family heirloom! I just figured it would be a good replacement after my bong broke. They seriously overreacted!”

“Zephyr, please stop talking.” Discord may have been the literal embodiment of chaos itself, but even he was looking fed up with his best friend’s brother tagging along. “I had to pull a lot of strings to get you here in the first place.” The draconequus took notice of a couple strings hanging just out of frame, which he quickly snipped out of sight with the aid of some oversized scissors.

“So, ummmm…” Spike may have not been a huge fan of Fluttershy’s mooching brother, but he wanted to keep an open mind since a lot of time had passed since. “Does Zephyr know how to play Ogres and Oubliettes?”

“Don’t worry, I already made a character for him myself.” Discord reached into his ear with his avian claw, and pulled out a scroll detailing Zephyr’s O&O character. “He’s a Bard with beginner stats, but I provided him with enough charisma and stamina points to keep him from being too much of a hindrance.”

He showed the sketch he drew of Zephyr’s character, which was basically just the pegasus in a gaudy jester outfit holding a flute. When Spike and Big Mac looked through the character sheet, the dragon was the first to start laughing upon seeing the name. “Pbbbttt!!~ D-Dude, you named him Dingleberry!?!”

Big Mac and the others all started laughing at that reveal, which caused Zephyr Breeze to grow an irritated pout. Discord smirked rather smugly from that detail, and pointed out, “Well, I did warn him when I asked for specifics. He literally told me to do ‘whatever,’ so I did exactly that~”

“Psh…” Zephyr just looked away from the other players while scowling to himself. “Whatever. This still beats hanging around the park all night without anything to do.”

Spike and Mac shared a look back at one another, clearly unsure of how well this session would go with somepony like Zephyr in the group. However, since Discord was the one DMing their quest, they could only assume that he would be able to keep Fluttershy’s brother in line and not ruin their fun; or at least, they hoped the draconequus could find a way to make Zephyr’s involvement somewhat entertaining.

“So… how long is this whole ‘dungeon-quest’ thing gonna take anyway?” Zephyr balanced his plates of food as he walked over towards their seats. “I was planning to meet up with me Deal-uhhhhh… M-My oregano farmer in a couple hours.” He sat in the seat usually reserved for his sister at the Cutie Map, and splayed out comfortably with his rear-hooves on the table. Spike groaned with an annoyed look, but he didn’t try to get too heated before their night could even begin. Fortunately, since the pegasus was too busy stuffing his face, he didn’t seem to distract the other players as they got themselves seated.

Due to the high number of attendees, almost all the seats were occupied when the group got themselves comfortable. The only seat left open was Twilight Sparkle’s, which Discord decided not to use out of respect for the Princess. The group of guys all looked over each other’s character notes (except for Zephyr, who seemed about as interested in the game as Discord did his first time playing), getting themselves more comfortable with the aid of Spike’s refreshments. All the while, Discord was double-checking his own notes in a large leather-bound notebook, and grinning from the prospects with the players he had available.

“Hmmmm…” Discord crafted up a stack of cards, each one with a full sketch of the players’ characters and their stats like hoofball cards. His book was opened up to a specific quest he had in mind, which he originally wanted to do the last time he played with Spike and Big Mac. But since there are more players this time around, the draconequus saw no reason to place this session on the back-burner now. So after closing his book, he held up the five cards of the players before him. “So, everyone… would you like to know the quest I have for tonight’s fun?~”

Spike and Big Mac immediately looked interested as they nodded with eager smiles. Gallus and Sunburst also appeared to be piqued, clearly curious about what a chaotic being like Discord could craft up. Zephyr Breeze nodded as well, but he wasn’t paying much attention while shoving jalapeno poppers into his muzzle.

“Wonderful~” Discord gave a snapt of his claw, which pulled out several of the pages from his book to help craft the scene. The pieces of paper floated around and crumpled in various shapes, combining together like a puzzle to form the shape of a giant mountain. The six cards of all their characters also sprung to life, hopping across the table to stand alongside the bottom of the makeshift mountain. All of the players -- even Zephyr -- became very curious as they watched the scene being played out from Discord’s narration.

“For tonight’s quest, we will be tasked with scaling the treacherous Mount Phallus for a cavern full of treasures. Princess Shmarity’s prized jewels had been stolen by a pack of dastardly, primal dragons who--”

“HEY!” Spike instantly shot Discord a warning glare. “You better not be having us slay friggin dragons, dude!”

“Don’t worry, these aren’t the feral monster-type dragons from works of fiction. I’m referring to the same type of dragons we see today, like a pack of bandits.” After sighing with that detail, Discord narrowed his eyes back at him flatly. “Seriously, Spike. Do you really think I’d resort to stereotypes? I consider you a friend.”

Spike couldn’t say much to that remark, and merely rolled his eyes to dismiss his personal issues. None of the other players tried to speak up, which allowed for Discord to resume his quest analysis.

“As I was saying… the pack of non-feral dragons have their camp set up deep within the caverns. And to make matters worse, they seemed to have acquired several enchanted jewels that could greatly change how easily you five can complete this quest. They’re on high-alert for any intruders to come by, and they won’t be afraid to take full advantage of the assets they have at their disposal~”

Near the top of the paper-built mountainside, the group of players could see several origami figures of dragons walking around the interior of a small cavern. Even with their simplistic designs, many of the guys’ eyes widened when they saw obvious erections on the dragon figures’ crotches. The players all blushed when they took notice, not needing to ask for any clarifications about what kind of game this might turn out to be. However, it seemed that the only player who looked hesitant was Zephyr Breeze, who squirmed uncomfortably in Fluttershy’s chair.

“And before I start anything,” assured Discord as he leaned back in his seat, and used his magic to un-crumple the paper-made mountain so the pages could saunter back inside of his notebook. “I want to make absolutely sure that everypony’s on-board here. This isn’t going to be a conventional quest, and any experiences you have as your characters will be felt like it’s the real thing. Spike and Big Mac can attest to that~”

The other players glanced over at the two, who were blushing with nervous smiles on their faces. However, neither of them tried to say anything to dispute what Discord just confirmed.

“And even though I’m aware that all of you are open-minded enough to pursue interests outside of mares, I wanted to make sure everyone is consenting for this quest. I can’t guarantee that sexual things will happen, but I can’t guarantee it won’t happen either. So with that being said, is everyone still in?~”

Spike and Big Mac were the first to nod with sheepish looks, not even trying to hide their enthusiasm about repeating their previous quest. Gallus and Sunburst glanced over at one another for a moment, trying to hide the awkwardness of a student and Vice-Headmare participating in something this risquè together; but since Sunburst was openly gay, and Gallus was pretty close to Bi himself, neither of them were deterred enough to keep from nodding. Even Zephyr, who was basically open for anything, merely shrugged while avoiding eye-contact with Discord. “Well, I mean… I don’t have anything better to do tonight,” he muttered to himself bashfully.

“Alright, sounds good!” Since Discord was already in his costumed getup, he only needed to raise his lion’s paw before giving a profound snap of his digits. His snap was followed with a sharp burst of light, which encompassed everybody around the table almost instantly. Their forms immediately vanished from sight at their seats, as the bright beams of energy were teleported by Discord’s magic.

Spike and Big Mac may have had experience, but they were both still taken aback by how suddenly they were morphed into the draconequus’ unique form of table-top gaming. And much like their fellow players, who ended up stumbling over one another upon landing, the group as a whole needed to reassess their bearings by the time they found themselves on solid ground once more.

The ground beneath the stallions’ hooves (and Spike & Gallus’ claws) were no longer the ornate marble tiles of Princess Twilight’s Throne Room. Instead, all that the players felt beneath them were the intricately lined charted maps of the pre-drawn game mat that Spike had made earlier. It was unclear of where the six players actually were, since Discord had teleported them far away from their original setting and in their new personas. But as the group of players got themselves back to their standing positions, and quickly realized they were now in the costumes of the characters they had chosen for this O&O quest, it didn’t take long for them to realize they were no longer seated around the Cutie Map. By the powers of Discord’s unexplainable chaotic magic, his five players found themselves within the DM’s game as the characters they crafted.

“WHOA!” Gallus was the first to readjust to the teleportation, and gasped in shock when he realized he was wearing the black cloak of his character, Garrus Blackclaw. Even though his overall appearance wasn’t as drastically changed as some of the others, the gryphon still needed a moment to marvel at how accurately Discord transferred his sketch to a full-fledged character. He was smiling wide while looking at all the intricate details of his cloak, as well as his strap of potions hanging over his chest. He pulled down his hood for a moment, smirking when he felt the spiked black feathers that ran along the top of his head like a mohawk. “Nice… I bet Ocellus would flip if she saw all this!”

“See? Ah told ya it’s worth it~” Big Macintosh was donning his black spiked armor, looking rather confident as Sir McBiggun. Aside from the five-o-clock shadow on his muzzle, as well as the unicorn horn protruding through his horned helmet, the stallion was still recognizable to Gallus and the others. McBiggun lit up his horn to test his magical abilities, easily able to swing about his cardboard sword like Shining Armor himself. After giving several well-done swipes of his weapon, McBiggun grinned in excitement with an eager, “Eeyup!~”

“Hey, Big Mac!” Spike, who was wearing his bearded wizard getup as Garbunkle, pointed his large wooden staff towards the other armored pony in their group. “Check out Sunburst!”

McBiggun and Blackclaw turned their gazes towards Sunburst, who was now the burly Chevalier Warrior known as Lord Aldermane. Sunburst’s thick, impenetrable armor hid almost all of his body features, with only the longest tufts of his orange mane sticking out from the bottom of his clunky helmet. Since he no longer had his horn, Aldermane had to use one of his plated forelegs to lift up the grated muzzle-covering and reveal his face. Sunburst looked just as he had before beneath all that armor, albeit without a horn anymore. But even with that missing appendage, he was smiling rather giddily as he looked down at himself. “Ohmigosh! I couldn’t recreate this with even a fraction of the details Discord did! This is incredible!”

“Ehhhh…” Zephyr Breeze -- or more accurately in his Bard getup, Dingleberry -- looked far less than pleased with the gaudy outfit he was wearing. He had a ridiculous velvet, lime-green leotard over his torso, with a pair of bright-pink short-shorts that pronounced his ass and crotch-bulge rather prominently. He was also wearing a matching poofy hat of green and pink stripes on his head, which made him resemble a jester more than anything else. Tucked under one of his poofy sleeves was his trusty flute, while a small bag of sand was hanging from a string around his neck. Spike and the others had to keep themselves from snickering at how he looked, while Dingleberry himself just grumbled under his breath, “Jeeze, you could’ve at least made me look macho or something.”

“Now, Dingleberry,” cooed Discord, who was standing before all of them in his Captain Wuzz costume with a confident smirk. “Are you really going to upset me after I went through all the trouble to make you a character from scratch? I could easily have you wearing a diaper and a foal’s sailor suit if you’d prefer~”

“N-No!” he blurted with his eyes bulging wide-open. Dingleberry quickly tried to backtrack on his critique with both hooves raised while smiling nervously. “T-That’s alright, Discord! I’ll wear this outfit, I swear!”

“That’s Captain Wuzz to you,” retorted the Archer insistently. Dingleberry still looked upset, but all he could do was nod his head and hope his fate couldn’t get any more embarrassing. Since the Bard was rightfully silenced, Captain Wuzz was able to address the group as a whole on the playing board. “Alright, gentlemen! The treacherous Mount Phallus is just a short walk that way!”

He pulled one of the arrows from his quiver on his back, and pointed it outward to catch the group’s attention. All five players turned around and gasped in shock, not expecting to see the mountain in a much more detailed interpretation. While the rest of the tiled gaming board was littered with dice of various colors and sizes, a massive-looking mountain was towering up to the painted blue skies without a visible top. Many white pieces of fluff (most likely cotton balls) took the form of clouds to gather around the mountainside, keeping the group from seeing too far up. Mount Phallus itself looked like a gigantic piece of paper machè painted in shades of red and brown; but despite its cheap-looking construction, all five of the players gulped worriedly upon seeing the daunting climb.

“Hoo boy,” muttered Garbunkle, who didn’t seem too keen on beginning the trek. Spike may have included wings to his character since the last time they played Ogres and Oubliettes (most likely to make the Wizard more accurate to himself in real life), but he knew better than to try and go ahead in the quest without his party. He looked back to the other five players, but only Captain Wuzz seemed to be smiling from the prospect of starting things off right. Garrus Blackclaw was the only other winged member of the group, and he looked equally as hesitant as Garbunkle to fly up the mountain solo. Lord Aldermane rubbed the front of his helmet, clearly regretting not having a horn on his character for a quick teleportation spell. Meanwhile, Garbunkle could see from Sir McBiggun’s skewed muzzle that he looked apprehensive as well. Nevertheless, the bearded dragon tried to ask, “So, uhhh… I take it you haven’t improved your magic stats since the last time we played?”

“Nope,” admitted McBiggun with a reluctant shake of his head. “Sorry, Ah’ve had way too much work on the farm to really play this game nowadays.”

“Hmmmm…” Garrus Blackclaw stared down at the array of potions hanging across his chest with a contemplative look. “I might be able to craft something for fast travel? Although I never got a successful roll for more than just myself.”

“Well, couldn’t we just, like… grow wings or something?” asked Dingleberry while shrugging confusedly. The others all stared back at him flatly, causing the Bard to groan and roll his eyes. “What?! We’re in a fantasy setting, aren’t we!? If Spike can do it, I’m sure we all can!”

“It’s not that easy, dude.” Garbunkle pointed up to his staff and explained, “I had to cast a Nat-Twenty to grant wings on my character, and that was only after acquiring a one-time potion from a sorceress in a round with Pinkie and Rainbow Dash.”

“Wait, you played with them without me?!” McBiggun looked fairly offended by that revelation. “When was that?!”

“Oh, that was up in the Crystal Empire last month. Shining wanted a night off to play, so we had a quick match. Nothing major or anything.”

While McBiggun rolled his eyes with a scoff, Lord Aldermane lifted his helmet’s face-covering to show his smile. “Yeah, Shining actually told me about that! He managed to slay a lot of ogres with a Nat-Fifteen, didn’t he?”

“Oh my gosh, who cares?!” Dingleberry was already growing impatient as he tapped his hoof against the game-mat ground. “Are we just gonna stand around and talk, or are we gonna find a way up that mountain?!”

“Ooh, somepony seems eager to meet those dastardly dragons~” Captain Wuzz shot the Bard a teasingly coy smirk and perked his bushy brows. “If you really wanted to have some fun with a scaly friend, I’m surprised you haven’t tried to hit up Spike before he left Ponyville~”

“Psh~” Garbunkle immediately dismissed that option with an unsubtle scoff. “Very unlikely.”

“Hey, I just wanna do something while we’re here, okay?!” Dingleberry pointed out to the mountainous pile of paper machè waiting for them. “And unless we wanna try and walk the entire way up there and drain our energy, I’d rather know what our alternatives are.”

Garrus may have looked annoyed with the Bard already, but he couldn’t help glancing towards the mountain with a contemplative look of his own. “Honestly, I’m with Dingleberry on that one.”

“Oh, please don’t tell me you’re all gonna call me that the whole friggin’ game!”

“Hmph~” Sir McBiggun had an obvious smirk as he replied, “Ah certainly am~”

“Hmmm…” Lord Aldermane looked up at the mountain as well, and tried to think of a suggestion. “You know… if Captain Wuzz’s archery is skilled enough, he could feasibly shoot a rope to scale up part of the mountain.”

“Yeah, but look at the clouds…” Blackclaw pointed a talon up at the floating cotton-balls, which could be seen drifting back and forth high above their heads. “It looks like there’s a lot of wind up there. I’d be surprised if we could hit anything with an arrow.”

“Ooh, excellent observation!” Captain Wuzz looked impressed by the gryphon’s input. “Although, there might be a way that could get most of us closer to the cavern in record time. The only thing we need is a little ingenuity~”

As the other players looked back at Captain Wuzz curiously, the Archer pointed towards a dilapidated cart resting by the side of the mountain. It looked to be an old diorama-grade buggy with two missing wheels, and several broken cardboard boxes strewn about nearby. Garbunkle was the first to fly towards it with the aid of his draconic wings, while his staff lit up to better assist in scanning the debris. Blackclaw and McBiggun investigated the cart as well, with the gryphon being the first to notice something useful. “Hey, look! Rubber bands!”

Blackclaw reached into one of the broken boxes, and smiled excitedly upon pulling out a couple oversized strips of rubber. Lord Aldermane let out an intrigued “Ooh!” from inside his helmet, and trotted over in his armor to inspect the material. Dingleberry reluctantly followed alongside Captain Wuzz, although it seemed that he was the only one who wasn’t seeing the importance of the group’s find. While the draconequus watched with a prideful grin, the other members of their party were already brainstorming suggestions.

“So, what are we thinking?” asked Blackclaw. “You think a slingshot of some kind would work?”

“Hmmm…” Aldermane picked up a piece of the rubber left over from one of the boxes, and let out a strained groan as he tried to pull the ends with both hooves. “Nnnnghhh! Geeze, these are sturdy! If we can get enough force, we might be able to make it work.”

“Maybe a catapult?” Garbunkle looked over towards a large twenty-sided die nearby, which looked to be the size of a pony sized boulder. He lit up his staff and pointed towards it, groaning a bit as he tried to lift the item up with his magic. There was certainly a lot of strain, but the Wizard managed to lift the hunk of plastic a couple feet before it fell back to the ground. The floor beneath the players rippled with a loud thud, but all of them grew intrigued by the dragon’s ingenuity.

“Actually, that might work out for us…” Sir McBiggun looked between the giant die, and the remains of the cardboard wagon by the mountain. He hummed to himself in thought while tapping his chin, and pondered out-loud, “You think we could roll for a spell that could build it quickly enough?”

“Let’s find out!” Captain Wuzz pointed a claw up towards the skies, just as a gargantuan-sized die came into view to rotate in the air. Everyone stepped back as the hunk of bright-red plastic began its descent to the ground. Garbunkle and McBiggun worked together as the Wizard’s staff lit up brightly, as did the Knight’s horn in tandem. Blackclaw tried to look through his potions, but he didn’t seem confident that anything in his possession could help out. Aldermane just tried to stay out of the way, since his brute force couldn’t do much for this task. Meanwhile, Dingleberry picked up his flute, and tried to awkwardly “help” by blowing into the wrong end of the instrument to elicit nasty squeaks.

“Urrrghhhh…” McBiggun grimaced while trying to keep his magic focused, and shot a nasty glare towards the Bard. “Darnit, Dingleberry! Stop blowin’ on that thing!”

“Yeah, save it for the caverns~” added Captain Wuzz with a cheeky smirk. Dingleberry groaned and put down his flute with a scowl. With that distracting “music” out of the way, Garbunkle and McBiggun were able to better focus as they pointed their horn and staff towards the wagon wreckage. Their auras of magic could be seen combining in a multicolored swirl, encompassing the materials to make them levitate from the game board. Just as all of the items were lifted up with the aid of their shared magic, the gigantic die finally crashed down to the ground with an earth-shattering thud that made everyone jolt in place. “And the roll got us a…”

Captain Wuzz looked up to the skies, just to see a number glowing through the cotton ball clouds. “A thirteen! That might just be enough~”

Due to their successful roll, Garbunkle and McBiggun were able to use their magic to craft up a large mechanism before the group’s very eyes. Aldermane, Blackclaw, and even Dingleberry watched in awe as the materials from the cart were disassembled with the aid of Garbunkle’s magic, and rearranged like pieces of a puzzle. With the aid of Sir McBiggun’s magical strength, two of the wagon’s side pieces were driven into the ground to serve as the foundation braces. He also used his magical aura to stretch out the rubber bands as far as he could, groaning as he looped them around the support beams. Garbunkle made sure to strengthen the two pieces well enough so they wouldn’t crash into one another, allowing for the rubber band to keep a good amount of tension between them. Garbunkle’s staff also crafted up a sizable platform with the remains of the wagon, along with five usable seats. The cage-like device was firmly nestled on top of the rubber band, and able to hang precariously a few feet above the player’s heads.

“Hmmm… not bad at all~” Captain Wuzz was grinning wide from the players’ creation, which looked to be a giant slingshot pointed right upward. The contraption may have been risky at best, but Garbunkle and McBiggun were satisfied enough with its completion to bump claw and hoof with excited smiles. The rest of the players looked equally as pleased by the catapult with cheers and hoots all around. However, before anyone in the party could get too excited about their plans getting into motion, Captain Wuzz was the first to point, “You know, guys… There seem to only be five seats for that method.”

Everyone stopped celebrating, and looked back at the contraption to see the Archer was correct. Garbunkle and McBiggun groaned in disappointment, with the dragon saying with a roll of his eyes, “Well, that’s just great! How the heck could we lose a party member at thirteen?!”

“Well, it was a pretty risky move,” noted Aldermane while shrugging his shoulders. “It probably needed a high nat to even get the thing working.”

Blackclaw pointed back towards the mountain and added, “Yeah, especially with the alternative being walking up that thing.”

“So… what do we do now?” asked Dingleberry worriedly. “Like… do we cast votes for who gets left behind or something?”

“Honestly, that sounds more akin to a different show.” The draconequus was briefly out of his Captain Wuzz outfit, and was now wearing a blue polo shirt with a white ballcap, khaki pants, and holding a tribal torch. “And unless you have a Hidden Immunity Idol, you’d probably get the boot if that was the case.”

The rest of the group all looked at one another in silence, eventually nodding in reluctance to that truthful point. Dingleberry just looked down at himself for a moment, not seeing anything that would resemble such an item. After the Bard shrugged back at his sister’s friend, Captain Wuzz returned with a flash of chaotic magic. “Fortunately, there might be a way to determine the unlucky sap by a much fairer means...”

With another snap of his paw, the draconequus conjured up six much smaller twenty-sided dice which hovered above all their heads. All of the other players froze up when they saw those items, unsure if they were going to drop onto their heads like a cartoon prop. Fortunately, the plastic items all remained hovering absolutely still, while still spinning freely in their auras. Captain Wuzz had a die over his own head, and he caused all of them to spin with a hard wave of his avian claw. “Alright, let’s see who gets the lowest number!”

Everyone looked tense as they stared up at the spinning dice, unsure of how “random” Captain Wuzz’s spin actually was. For all they knew, he could’ve easily picked one of them to leave already and get left-out of all the fun. Even though none of them wanted their quest to end so prematurely, they all looked wary about what was to come. Eventually, the dice all slowed down at the same time to reveal the numbers glowing above them.

“I got… a twelve!” shouted Garbunkle with a smile.

“Fourteen!” chirped Sir McBiggun

“A six…” Garrus Blackclaw didn’t look too confident as he winced from that reveal.

“Oh no…” Lord Aldermane was even more freaked-out when he muttered worriedly, “It’s a four…”

“WOO! Nineteen!” Dingleberry beamed excitedly from that number, before looking back at Captain Wuzz to ask, “Wait, that’s good, right? OH...”

As soon as they heard the tone in Dingleberry’s voice, all the others turned and gasped at the die over Captain Wuzz’s head. Everyone looked absolutely shocked, but not as much as the draconequus who was standing underneath the glowing number…

“I… I got a ONE?!” Discord may have been skilled with chaotic magic, but it seemed that chaos got the best of him for a change. He blinked repeatedly while staring up at the die in bafflement, not that it changed the outcome by any means. According to the rules he just crafted, Captain Wuzz was the one who couldn’t continue on in their quest. The revelation made him sigh disheartedly, but he tried to keep a content smile as he shrugged back at the others. “Well… I’m still the DM, so this might be better to keep things organized from up above~”

Since the character’s fate was sealed, Discord unzipped his tunic from the front, and stepped out of his skin to reveal another Discord just underneath. He then used his magic to lift everyone up at once, catching them by surprise as they were lowered onto the platform of the catapult. The combined weight of the five stretched the rubber band tremendously, but the platform itself only lowered a few feet at most. However, that was when Discord lifted up the large die Spike noticed earlier, which was effortlessly floated over to the group to serve as a proper weight.

“Bon voyage, players!~” Discord was now dressed like the captain of a ship, and saluted the five players as their catapult was pulled down to its absolute lowest. “Please keep a tight grip until your landing, and don’t forget to stay safe!~”

BOING!!!

As soon as the die fell off from the rubber band, the platform was shot up into the skies with all five players screaming their heads off. The noise quickly trailed off while Discord watched from the ground, grinning as he held a pair of binoculars to watch their flight. In a matter of seconds, the massive piece of wagon-parts shot up hundreds of feet along the side of the mountain. It was nothing short of a miracle that the platform managed to stay together, or that the five players inside were able to stay in place during their treacherous ascension. Garbunkle and McBiggun were holding each other for dear life while screaming in peril. Meanwhile, Blackclaw and Aldermane were clinging to the sides of the platform with all their might while their eyes were clenched shut. Dingleberry couldn’t grab onto anything in time, but the sheer velocity of the shot had him pinned to the platform as he was splayed out helplessly. The wind was brushing past the five like a turbine, which only lessened when gravity finally decided to take over.

Just as the platform began to disintegrate from the force of that shot, the five temporarily hovered in the air as they got to level with the cavern. All five of them were covered in cotton-balls that clung to their bodies when they shot through the cloudline, allowing them to see much more of the mountain than they had down below. As soon as he saw the opening of the cave, Garbunkle’s eyes shot wide-open; his magical staff instantly lit up, almost as if it was activated through sheer instinct. Another large twenty-sided die hovered high up in the air, and spun about wildly as the dragon tried to make a daring move.

In less than a second, the five players all began to fall back down from their brief moment of zero-gravity. Everyone began to scream once more, save for Garbunkle whose eyes narrowed in concentration. Just as the die up above rested on a singular number, Garbunkle’s staff erupted in a bright flash of light that engulfed everyone about to fall. Just as the five were about to plummet to their doom, Garbunkle’s magic kept them afloat as they soared forward, and landed right at the ledge of the mountain’s cliff.

“After rolling a successful nineteen,” boomed out the deep voice of Discord’s from the skies above, “Garbunkle’s risky spell proved to be worth it! He and the remaining members of their party landed safely from that jump, right outside the dragons’ lair…”

The group needed a moment to collect themselves, as they were left wobbling fearfully after that insane catapult launch. Even though it may have been faster than walking, all of them looked absolutely frazzled by that dangerous alternative. Garbunkle was breathing out heavily and clutching his chest, looking just as shocked as the others that his magical spell worked out. But before he could try to sigh in sweet relief, he found himself caught in the middle of a huge bear-hug by the other players.

“Holy crap, you did it!” Blackclaw hugged the dragon dearly after that live-saving maneuver. “Dude, that was awesome!”

“You did it, Spike!” Aldermane didn’t care about staying in character, and was close to tears while hugging Garbunkle from the other side. “Ohmigosh, thank you so much!”

McBiggun and Dingleberry gave the Wizard some thankful hugs as well, treating the dragon like a genuine hero following his save. Garbunkle was left blushing with a huge smile beneath his beard, but he was able to breathe out sharply before getting himself back up. “W-Well, uhhh… it’s a good thing we’re still in a game.”

“Uhhh, right, right…” Aldermane and Blackclaw pulled away with nervous chuckles, almost forgetting that they weren’t in a life-threatening scenario just then. Even if they fell, it was doubtful that Discord would actually kill them. Nevertheless, by the time all five of the party members got back on their hooves/paws, they found themselves standing outside the gaping opening of the mountain’s cave.

Coconut shavings served as a replacement for snow beneath them, but revealed the paper machè underneath as soon as it went into the cavern. It was impossible to tell how deep the cave went, but they could all hear muffled voices faintly within the pitch-black darkness. All five of them looked at each other with varying expressions, each of them needing a second to process how to go about this quest. However, it was Sir McBiggun who stepped forward first, and lit up his horn to lead the way into the caves.

“Alright, fellas,” he said back to his group, a faint smirk on his scraggly muzzle. “Let’s see what these dragons are made of~”