Everyone's Idol Pinkie Pie
The moonlight that lit the dank Everfree grew dim as Twilight and her newfound companions marched on to the castle of the two princesses. The forest encroached on them slowly but surely like a necktie being tied too tight. There were dangers among them. The merry band of element seekers were determined to beat the nefarious Nightmare Moon. However there bravery would be tested in the deep dark of this hair-raising forest.
"My eyes need a rest from all this icky muck." Rarity blurted out annoyed. Within moments the light of the moon so useful to them in their journey was undercut as the trees engulfed them in darkness.
"Well, I didn't mean that literally." Rarity muttered out defeated. The darkness engulfed them more and more as the trees encroached on their personal space. The gang moved closer and closer together as they lost the ability to see each other.
"That ancient ruin could be right in front of our faces and we wouldn't even know it!" Twilight explained angrily. The ponies began stepping on top off of each other arguing over where they stepped and who was to blame for it. In the meantime a black miasma of power sneakily possessed the trees around them. Slowly they became malformed monstrous versions of what they once were. Without warning they began to glow with a bright malevolence.
"Oh wait, I think I stepped in somethin'." Applejack told her companions. Suddenly Fluttershy screamed as she realized what surrounded them. This reaction puzzled the farmer pony.
"It's just mud." Applejack told her friend hurt. A growl permeated the air as the gaggle of extraordinary horse creatures realized they were surrounded by gasp, trees! Ghoulish trees with ghastly faces oppressively watched them from all angles. Indeed these trees represented their greatest threat so far.
Panic spread among Twilight's entourage as five ponies ran this way and that trying to escape the trees. But forsooth! They were surrounded on all sides by the malevolent and dastardly and EVIL trees. Twilight and her newfound companions bunched up together in a circle screaming in terror. They were paralyzed in fear as the stationary tree's somehow got closer. They needed a hero.
"ダンスを恐れる" A voice rang out. The newly founded friend brigade looked to their pink friend state something otherworldly. A pink fog covered what was around them. Sparse lights appeared and shined in their vicinity as they were welcomed by the oddest of sights.
She stood their, on two hoofs. Her front hooves crossed over her chest as she looked upon her companions with a neutral expression. She bore massive sunglasses that hid her eyes from the world. She wore a bright and starry jacket which shined with an excessive glamourous beauty which ascribed the passion of true 80's dancing queen. Rarity blushed at its tacky yet entrancing qualities. The trees growled once more sensing an opponent amongst their victims. Pinkie held a forehoof aloft as if a means to silence both friend and foe.
"Um... Pinkie?" Twilight asked with confusion. Pinkie's hoof broke the laws of physics and stretched above the treeline emphasizing her desire for silence.
"Watashi no hoshizora no kao o mite, kyōfu no ki o shitte kudasai" Pinkie stated loudly.
(Look upon my starry visage and know fear trees!)
"What in the heck is she talking about?" Rainbow Dash asked nervously.
"I don't know. She's off script dear." Rarity retorted. Pinkie did an epic spin causing the wind to lift her in the air and land in the middle of her friends. Her left forehoof held the top of her head and her right pointed out to the tree cover. Her newfound friends stood in shock.
"Watashi no saiai no tomodachi o warau junbi o shite kudasai. Watashi wa ki o hanarete odorimasu." Pinkie explained.
(Prepare to laugh my dearest friends. For I shall dance the trees away.)
"What in the gosh darn heck does any of this mean!?" Applejack questioned the oddness of the circumstances with dismay.
"Um... Line?" Fluttershy whispered to Rarity.
"God if I know darling" Rarity whispered back. Pinkie started moving her hoof up and down in rhythmic motions, an odd snapping sound occurred every time her hoof shook. Why that happened was anyponies guess. A beat started out of nowhere, its tones rhythmic and filled with 80's excess. Another twirl as Pinkie's tail smacked all of her friends as she spun continuously on one hoof like a ballerinas.
"mada chiisakatta koro wa ohisama ga shizunjau to~" Pinkie started to sing. Jumping forward, latching onto a tree, and staring it down with a one eyed death glare. Glitter trailing wherever she went.
"Um...Tell me she's not?" Twilight said awkwardly trying to stay on script.
"kurai toko kowai shi kage ni dokidoki~" Pinkie continued undeterred kicking off the tree and landing in front of a surprised Fluttershy. Who eeps in surprise at the glowing starlight of Pinkie's jacket. Upon hearing the narrator say her name Starlight peaked her head out of a nearby curtain hidden behind a tree.
"Is it my line yet?" Starlight whispers out.
"Few seasons early darling." Rarity shooed her with a hoof. Starlight huffed and hid back behind the curtain.
"sonna toki wa itsumo makura wo kabutteta no. demo guranii pai ga aru toki atashi ni itta no~" Pinkie unashamedly teleported to rainbow to keep on schedule. Wiggling her rump at a nearby confused tree. She looks towards the offending tree and jumps behind it. She then reappears with roller skates moving towards her friend on two hoofs Extending her forelegs out and in a wave motion like she was making a rainbow.
"Then what is!" Rainbow blurted out irritated, attempting to hold to script even by an atom.
"Hora pinkii yuuki wo dashite tachimukau no yo. Kowai mono wa subete warai tobasou." Another spin from the Pinkster. A blast of shining stars flash from her as she lands. She approaches one of the trees with that Pinkie brand of happiness which makes the the tree she approached somehow back away in fear. Pinkie stopped in her tracks, her happy and go lucky turning to that of a stoic hero.
"Omae wa mō shinde iru" Pinkie whispered to the tree. Its power sapped by that very statement the tree's face poofed away in sheer terror.
"What in the gosh darn" Applejack muttered out confused looking to the director. The director shrugged in response.
"sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooou~" Pinkie sung loudly. The chorus hit as pinkie skated around the various trees with a trail of shining stars following her. The tree's faces disappeared one by one as her friends stood dumbstruck at this moment of sheer randomness. At one point Fluttershy fainted then woke up mere milliseconds later, as she does. Finally the trees were smote by 80's groove and Pinkie stood unchallenged in front of her friends knowing that her job was done. Glitter covered the forest floor like the remnants of a hard fought battle. Pinkie 1. Ghastlies 0.
For a moment, a single moment, the world was silent. As it itself was confused by the pink mare's actions. Twilight, having to know what in Tartarus just happened, was the first to walk forward.
"Um... Pinkie... The Buck?" Twilight asked dumbfounded. Pinkie stood there for a moment, reveling in her own glory. Before she looked her friend dead in the eyes.
"Warau koto wa shinkokuna mondaide wa arimasen" Pinkie stated. Twilight's eyebrow raised.
(Laughing is no serious matter)
"W-What?"
Pinkie removes her sunglasses and takes off the jacket and falls back onto four hooves. A state of relative normalcy returns to the party pony. She deeply contemplates twilight's statement and responds with the only possible answer.
"Twilight, what are you looking at?"
Celestia looked down from her perch. She had been watching her faithful student as she quested to save her dearest sister. She had witnessed something she had never seen in a thousand years of rule. Slowly moving the binoculars away with her magic she stared on into the weary stars. She was confused, utterly baffled, and wholly uncomfortable. She uttered for the first time what is on all of you reader's minds.
"What the buck?"
Author's Note
(Special thanks to my co-author waywardfallout)
2 hours drunk on scotch with a good friend results in an abomination that spits on the yakuza name. I apologize to my family, to my peers, to god himself. The only thing that makes me happy, is I made you suffer.
Link to the monstrosity that inspired this.
Link to the japanese lyrics of Giggle at the Ghosties.
Link to pictures of your mom.
