Midnight Reviews

It had been bound to happen sooner or later. Midnight thought as she rolled her shoulders, sending ripples across her fat body. To eat so much, exercise so little, immobility was something she’d been contending with for months, years even.

After helping Princess Luna and Princess Celestia judge the baking contest...well, Midnight wasn’t surprised. She’d gorged herself on all the fatty goods that Canterlot had to offer, then the cakes, and the buffet, and the food service of the palace itself. She’d hardly been mobile before this new wave of gluttony and had only really been mobile through the help of others.

Now, it seemed, the inevitable had happened. After spending most of the day before in a deep food coma, she’d tried to roll out of bed only to find she didn’t have the strength to get out of bed. No matter how she moved, her gelatinous stomach was in the way between her hooves and anything else, meaning she’d finally trapped herself in a fatty prison of her own making.

Honestly, Midnight didn’t mind it so much, either. She’d known it was coming. Hell, the whole nation had been speculating on her mobility for ages! Wondering when she’d finally trap herself in place.

Midnight’s stomach grumbled as a pang of hunger shot through her, right through to her spine. She heaved a sigh, rubbing at the portion of her stomach she could still reach, hoping to soothe it. Just a little longer.

At least Luna had thought of this. Which was fortunate, considering the circumstances. And now there was what felt like a platoon of guards, and the Princess of the Night herself, all standing in the bedroom Midnight had been using since she got to the palace.

Some impromptu ceremony, and all Midnight could think about was food. Even over the portly Princess’s chattering. It was even funnier considering Midnight's growling stomach. It was...undercutting the importance of Luna's speech.

“And so, as a thank you for your services, we have two gifts for you.” Luna grinned, dimples appearing in her chubby cheeks.

The double doors into the room opened, and another guard entered. A unicorn, pushing a lovely, custom made cart into the room with his magic.

It was plush, reinforced, and huge. Made to be pulled along like a normal cart, or propelled by magic. Sturdy, filled with cushions and padding to soften the hard wood and steel of the rest of it.

“It is large enough to fit you comfortably!” Luna seemed rather proud about that, almost bragging. She leaned in towards Midnight conspiratorially, “Though, we don’t think that’ll last too long.” Winking at Midnight, earning a snort of laughter from the bat pony. “And you have a team of royal guards to pull you along for the day. It is my great joy to also mention that you have the ability to go spend the day in town and indulge.” Luna’s eyes sparkled as joy filled Midnight at the promise.

“Thank you, Princess!” Midnight smiled, dipping her head in the best approximation of a bow that she could manage at such a size. “This means a lot. Thank you.” At least, with a cart, she wasn’t just stuck in one place. Though, she’d need a unicorn or team of ponies to transport her places now. Still, with the day guaranteed in Canterlot, Midnight had time to mull it over.

A pony pulled out a trumpet from somewhere, blowing into it to produce a loud, clear note that overtook the sounds of Midnight’s stomach growling for hunger.

“It is our duty to ensure our ponies’ safety and comfort.” Luna returned with a smile. “We will leave you to it. Please try not to bankrupt the palace.” Waddling her way out of the room, some of the guards following after with all the appropriate fanfare.

Leaving Midnight with a group of strangers. Great. Her stomach was still growling hungrily, demanding attention and making her feel poorly. A mare her size needed to eat!

“So, uh. How are we doing this? I can’t get on there by myself.”

“It’s alright, Miss Midnight.” One of the guards rumbled. A unicorn. As were a few of the others. “If you’ll relax, we’ll levitate you into the cart.”

“Thanks!” Midnight beamed. Doing her best to relax while the unicorns worked in tandem to lift her from the bed and settle her into the cart. It was hard work, she could tell, so she did her best not to move or shift. Even as her skin itched at the foreign magic moving her.

The cart was as soft and comfortable as it looked, and Midnight couldn’t help but breathe a sigh of relief as she was settled into it. Even as her stomach screamed for sustenance underneath her.

The unicorns took their time hitching themselves up to the cart, testing Midnight’s patience, but she bit her tongue and waited. Watching as they wiped the sweat from their brows. Lifting her would be difficult enough, much less moving her and then needing to pull her around town.

Besides. This gave her time to figure out what it was she wanted. Gladiolus had taken her to the cafes and bakeries around Canterlot. And she had the feeling that if she showed up again so soon they might kick her out. Where to go...where to go…

Then an idea hit her. Canterlot was a center of the arts, of all sorts. Elite ponies came from all over Equestria to sample the delicious foods located in the city, but the real experts came for the master breweries that Canterlot boasted.

It was mid-morning now, and Midnight figured by the time they made their way out of the palace it’d be closer to noon than not. And she wouldn’t just be drinking, she’d be eating too. Which would help.

“Could you take me to the nearest pub please?” She asked as the guards pulled her out of her room and into the spacious corridors beyond. There were four of them, and managed to pull her along rather well. Trotting easily along the flat tiles of the palace.

“Of course ma’am!” The front one said, “I’m Gauntlet, ma’am. And this is Viridian, Ace, and Steel. Just tell us where you want to go, and we’ll be happy to take you there.”

“Nice to meet you all. I uh, just hope you’re ready for a real crawl across Canterlot.” Midnight relaxed, sinking into her own fat with a contented sigh. Happy that she didn’t need to exhaust herself through movement anymore.

Silence settled across them as they moved out of the palace.

(LINE BREAK)

As it turned out, the closest pub wasn’t that far away at all. Actually, it was suspiciously close to where Midnight knew the barracks were. She wasn’t going to judge though, everypony needed to blow off steam sometimes.

The Crossed Spears was a quaint, Griffish style pub. It even looked like an older Griffon building, with the white panels between dark wooden supports. It was nice, and thankfully, had a huge door with a ramp. At least getting inside wasn’t going to be a problem.

The pub was empty, probably because of the early hour, with only a few employees puttering around. As Midnight was brought to a table, the place livened up quickly. Once again, her large size and reputation had preceded her. Not that that was a bad thing.

She ordered pitchers of their finest beer, an entire bottle of wine, and one of every entre on the menu to start. Along with some appetizers, in the hopes that they would arrive before the bulk of the food so she wouldn’t be drinking on a completely empty stomach for long.

The drinks were brought forth, leaving her guards to stand off to one side almost awkwardly. At least they’d be getting a show.

Midnight didn’t wait to start drinking. Slurping the alcohol straight from the pitcher, it burned its way down her throat but it was so nice. Chilled and delicious, with a deep flavour she’d grown to love over the years.

The pitchers of beer went down a treat. Stretching out her stomach as it gurgled and growled, still demanding heartier fare than alcohol.

Thankfully, the first wave of appetizers arrived shortly thereafter. Fried, crispy perogies served with sour cream and fried onions. Thick mozzarella sticks that oozed cheese the moment Midnight bit into them. Onion rings, lattice fries, breaded mushrooms, potato skins, and breaded pickles soon took up all the space on the table.

Midnight dove into the food like a mare starving. Waving for more drink as she tore through the greasy, delectable food. Part of her itched for her notebook, but she’d forgotten it in her rooms. But this was fine, this was for fun. Not an official critiquing.

Midnight belched loudly enough to make the cutlery rattle on the table, but didn’t let that stop her. Pushing forward as she was plied with more drinks and more food. Coming wave after wave. The service really was impeccable, maybe she’d come back and write a proper review one day…

Once the appetizers were cleared, the rest started appearing. Tall sandwiches, fish and chips, all sorts of different burgers, grilled fish rather than fried, thick vegetable pies. Each was better than the last. Bloating Midnight’s stomach along with the alcohol, making her stomach groan and grumble as it started to try digesting the onslaught of calories.

Midnight happily drank her way through the selection of wines and beer they had while tasting everything she could on the menu. Not aiming to clear the restaurant out completely, she wanted to save room for the other places she intended to go, but to get a good feel for what this restaurant was about.

And boy were they meeting and exceeding all her expectations. They even made their own tortilla chips for the nachos!

By the time the last bite of food had been swallowed, and the last pint had disappeared down her gullet, Midnight was a belching, bloated mess. Crumbs dotted her face and poofing pigeon chest, and her hooves were smeared with various sauces. But she was sated. Not satiated, not full, but content.

“Thank you!” She waved to the staff as she was pulled out of the pub, belching once more and sighing at the release of pressure. “Looking for good spots to drink and eat, boys!”

Already the food and booze were having a visible effect on her body. Bloating her stomach out to push her fat further against the sides of the cart, leaving her feeling a bit pinched. But that was fine. Nothing to worry about.

Part of her couldn’t help but wonder if she could break the cart. Would the Princesses buy her another? Or would Celestia kick her to the curb without any help for her poor manners? Midnight snorted a chuckle, grinning to the guards when they turned to look at her questioningly.

The next place was a good Mexicolt place. Serving tapas and platters, and spicy cocktails that Midnight quickly acquired a taste for. The food was refreshing and different, not so fatty or greasy as the pub fare.

The alcohol and food were collecting in her stomach, bloating her ever outward. Especially when the guards presented them with the note from Princess Luna. Letting her gorge herself silly on all the delicious foods available. Even with the belching releasing some tension and pressure, it was still too much. Her bloated stomach rounding ever outward and upward, lifting her more into the air with each bite she practically inhaled.

The next spot was a fancy brunch buffet. With sweet, bubbling champagne and some of the freshest seafood in the city. Lobster waffles. Whoever the genius was who thought that up should earn some sort of prize. A crispy, rich potato waffle with fresh hunks of a lobster sauce on top? Excellent. Better than she could have anticipated.

And the seafood was as good as she’d heard. Jumbo shrimp, grilled fish, roasted fish, crab, lobster, oysters, and more. Everything was fresh and delectable and Midnight couldn’t help but wolf it down with the same eagerness she’d shown elsewhere. Crumbs littering the rolls of her fact, neck, and chest. Sauce smeared across her lips and chubby cheeks. She didn’t even pay it any mind.

Nevermind the pastries they had on offer! Made by a team of specialists, just like everything at this buffet, they were amazing. Not the main focus, but Midnight did her best to make a mental note to come back for a review. They deserved it for letting her plow through their buffet line.

The champagne was sweet and bubbly, and remarkably smooth. It paired suspiciously well with everything Midnight was eating, and was as delicious and well made as everything else.

By the time she finished at the buffet, she was noticeably spilling from the cart. Her flab being pushed up and over the sides, her stomach overhanging the edges and being pulled ever downward by gravity.

The guards, though they were strong and capable, were struggling too. Pulling, straining against the cart to keep moving forward. The tack creaking and jingling more than it had at the start of the day. Her fat was being jostled around, not helping to quiet her belches or rumbling tummy.

“Y’know, this is just fantastic!” Midnight was feeling the effects of the alcohol now, burping wildly and not caring that she had crab juice in her mane. “The foods’ good, company’s good, and this cart’s good.” Belching loudly enough to garner some looks from ponies who had been trying to ignore her corpulent form as the guards struggled to pull her uphill towards the next stop.

Gauntlet, or was it one of the others? She couldn’t remember. Gauntlet dug his hooves against the cobblestone, muscles straining under his armour. Face red and cheeks puffed out with exertion.

“Come on!” Midnight pouted, turning her attention to some of the ponies who just had to stop and stare. “I’ve got a-a beautiful figure! The envy of the nation!” Belching again, and grimacing at it. Swallowing down a sudden nausea. “Ooph.”

The guards were making progress though, even as they tired. Though it had looked a bit dicey before they crested the hill, the four managed it. Pausing at the top to catch their breath and let Midnight ramble to whomever she could.

“-look hungry, you should join us! I’ve got a note from the Princess and everything!” Midnight hiccuped, wincing at the pain of it. “Oh no, not hiccups. Do you guys know about a cure for hiccups?”

“No...ma’am.” Vase? Vauz? Midnight could swear it was ‘ace’ something panted out.

“Well damn.” Midnight pouted, huffing. Then she sniffed, raising her head to sniff at the air. “Mmmm. You smell that? Smells greasy.”

“That’d be the BuckDonald’s down the road.” One of the others said. She genuinely couldn’t remember his name. He hadn’t spoken a single word since they’d gotten started an looked rather glum now.

“Oh I’d kill a stallion for some fries.” Midnight huffed. “Take me there! Please? I’ll buy you milkshakes?”

One of them muttered something she couldn’t quite hear, and received a swift kick to the side for it. Nothing meant to damage or anything, just a sharp reprimand.

“Oh you’re in trouble!” Midnight giggled teasingly.

They started off again. The going was easier this time, and the streets less crowded. Leaving Midnight to hiccup and belch contentedly as her mind wandered. The thick smell of fryer oil grew denser as they drew closer, which made Midnight’s stomach growl all the louder. Drawing a few looks of those passersby who hadn’t been chased off by the noise.

“‘S my stomach!” Midnight gave what she could reach a reassuring pat. “It’s hungry! I’m hungry!”

“We’re almost there.” Gauntlet managed, voice strained.

And soon enough, they were. The restaurant was like others in its franchise, fairly plain looking but with rather large signs up in the windows and on the roof to garner attention to it. Thankfully, the doors were double wide. So there should be plenty of room-

Only, Midnight’s stomach got caught in the frame. Her sides pinching painfully at being so thoroughly wedged. Her stomach cried out for sustenance, loudly demanding it even though she was thoroughly wedged. “Ow! I’m stuck! No, no no no! Don’t back out, I’m still hungry-”

“We can get you food while you’re outside.” Gauntlet sighed, directing them into backing up anyway. And igniting his magic and trying to squish Midnight’s fat out of the way with sheer force of will.

Midnight pouted. “But I need to see the menu.” Belching at her stomach being squeezed into different shapes.

“We have copies!” An astonished employee yelled from behind the counter. “We can give you one to look at outside.”

“Oh! Okay-” Another belch escaped her, and Midnight relaxed as they somehow got her back outside. Her sides hurt, and it felt good to not be so pinched, but still. She wanted to go inside! Stupid places, not catering to a mare of her size.

Thankfully, once they got her settled on the patio outside, an employee came out with a tall pitcher of water and the promised menu. Leaving the water for the guards, and menu with Midnight, she waited for a while while Midnight perused. Midnight was eager, her mouth salivating and stomach all but screaming to be fed. Drawing more than a few looks for the noise it was generating.

She couldn’t make up her mind. So of course, the immobile mare decided on the entire menu. As well as whatever the guards wanted. Because they’d been so nice to her all this time, and it’d been hours and they hadn’t eaten anything! It was ridiculous!

BuckDonald’s didn’t have alcohol, but that was okay. Midnight, more than anything, really craved the heavy grease and taste of the fast food. Hayburgers, salty fries, those weird apple pie things they had, fish. More fries. Piles and piles of them.

The salt was bloating her too, along with heavy doses of soda. It kept Midnight from talking, leaving the guards to peck at the food they’d ordered while Midnight loudly set about devouring everything the restaurant had to offer. Her flabby sides eclipsing the cart more and more, and even her rear having to jockey for space when her stomach was growing noticeably over time.

The ice cream, soft and sweet without being too heavy, was the perfect end to the feast before her.

Her stomach was still soft and flabby. Rolls cascading from her fat barrel to roll over the hard edges of the cart and hang down. It gurgled and churned beneath her, audibly working to try to digest the deluge of calories it had been filled with.

By the time they left the restaurant, Midnight was feeling a little better. But more determined than ever to find a good place with a lot of alcohol.

Their destination was another pub, before they’d been waylaid by BuckDonald’s. “Pub please!”

Slowly, they got back on track. Winding through the streets of Canterlot once more. Slowly, but surely, drawing attention. Mostly because of Midnight. She was well known in certain circles, and her massive frame always drew curious stares. Now more than before.

Not that it bothered Midnight. She waved and chatted with those who approached, oinked and snorted at those who looked disgusted at her display. Reveling in herself, being herself, completely oblivious to the poor guards as they did their best to keep her moving.

Finally, they made their way into the pub. And once again Midnight was grateful for extra wide doorways and no stairs.

It was later in the day now. Some snobs would say too early for drinking still, but what did they know. A smattering of patrons were around. A few at the bar, a few seated and eating, and all of them turned to look at Midnight.

“Welcome!” The bartender beamed. It was a strained smile, once more Midnight’s reputation preceded her, but he was trying. “Welcome to the Healthy Brewer! I’m the owner of this fine establishment. Friends call me Bottle. What can I do you for?”

“I am looking for great food and better booze. Mostly just booze, if I’m being honest.” Midnight sighed. “And a lot of it.”

“Didn’t you say you got that shipment from Sweet Apple Acres?” One of the customers at the bar asked, words slurring a little and leaning against the counter. “Cider, right?”

“Oh cider would be so good!” Midnight beamed, dimples forming in her fat cheeks. “How much do you have?”

“Well, it’s a tun, the largest keg available.” Bottle blinked, licking suddenly dry lips. “Can I ask how you’re going to pay? Or...can you even drink that much?”

Gauntlet presented the note while Midnight shrugged. The motion sent waves of fat rippling across her form, making her jiggle and wiggle. “Not sure, but I want to try.”

Bottle looked a little dazed, hoofing the note back over with a nod. “Um. Alright then. It’s the finest stock, best year I’ve ever tasted. You’re sure? Once I crack a keg open, it’s gotta be drunk quick.”

“I’m sure.” Midnight was steadfast. “It’ll be fine.”

“Hell, I’ll help pay her tab if she can manage it!” A mare called out. The other patrons murmuring in agreement.

“Alright. Get yourself settled, I’ll be back.” Bottle disappeared into a back room, leaving the guards to get Midnight settled while they waited.

The keg was large, but Bottle owned a special trolley to help move them around. Doing what he could to maneuver it into the dining room proper. He pulled out a hose, attached it to the spigot, and used his magic to shove the keg to a little used area of the pub. Holding the other end of the hose out to Midnight to take into her mouth. “Ready?”

Midnight nodded, almost vibrating with excitement at the prospect. How much bigger could this make her? Would she crush the cart? How much more would this stretch her stomach? She was already a bottomless pit, what could a whole ton of alcohol do? Would she get sick?

Before she could really attempt to tackle any of these questions, Bottle turned the tap and the cider started to flow. It was sweet, crisp. Sweet Celestia, it was basically juice. She could drink this for forever and not notice it was alcoholic.

“Woo!” A chorus of cheers started up, some more drunk than others. “You can do this!”

Bottle went back behind the bar to continue cleaning. Waiting for Midnight to finish or give up.

The first leg went down a treat, the cider really was delicious, meaning Midnight could pack away quite a lot. The cheering was growing louder and louder, drawing more of a crowd. The pub quickly became packed, with a hat being passed around for them to add money into to help pay for the exorbitant amount of alcohol.

Already bloated and full from the rest of her day of gorging, Midnight was really starting to feel the effects of the drink now. Visibly bloating up with every mouthful she managed to suck down. Her flabby sides were smoothing out, growing taut and round like a ball. Smoothing out her rolls and lifting her legs further and further from the floor of the cart. Pushing her flab from the cart even more than before. Even her wings were pushed up and out, free from the rolls that usually entrapped them against her sides.

It hurt now, too. Her stomach was aching. A deep, stabbing pain that flared with every mouthful of the delectable cider that she managed to put away. It felt almost endless, an impossible challenge, but the cheering helped.

“She’ll never do it!” One pony shouted, out of sight. “She’s slowing down! She’ll never make it!”

There were a few boos at the outburst. “No way, it’s Midnight, she beat Caramel in a pie eating contest, she’s got this beat for sure!”

“I saw her at that tapas place on Main Street earlier, she’s not doing this on an empty stomach, I’m not sure-”

“If anyone can do it, it’s her! Wooo!”

Midnight set her jaw, sucking down the cider with increased vigour. Ignoring the burning in her throat and the stabbing sensations in her stomach, she was bound and determined to do this. She could do this!

By the times her wheezing exhalations of breath had transformed into little whimpers of pain, the alcohol was making her head feel dizzy and weird. Almost like she was floating. But she had this! She could do this.

Midnight wasn’t sure how long it took before the cider ran out, but she was almost happy she’d hit air. Dropping the hose with a moan, she grit her teeth and locked her jaw. Not wanting to move, nausea clawing at the back of her throat. That was the last thing she needed, to throw up…

Somewhere along the line, her eyes had drifted shut. Her ears twitching at the sudden lack of noise from the once boisterous crowd. Unbeknownst to Midnight, they were all staring. Even Bottle. Jaws dropped, eyes nearly popping out of their skulls.

“Miss Midnight?” Gauntlet asked hesitantly, pushing his way through the crowd to get close. Had she passed out? Fallen asleep? Did she need medical care? Gently, hesitantly, he reached a hoof out to touch the rounded out, firm stomach, hoping to garner her attention.

The belch that escaped Midnight could be heard across Canterlot. It rattled the windows in their panes, shook cutlery, startled at least one foal into waking up in the middle of the night in a full tantrum, and had Luna laughing so hard in her tower room that Celestia woke to see what was the matter.

All in all, not a bad night, Midnight concluded. Letting the haze of alcohol and food overtake her before the crowd around her had fully recovered. Settling into the deepest sleep of her life.

(LINE BREAK)

River Dream jolted into wakefulness at a heavy pounding at her door. Stumbling out of bed, cursing her swaying stomach for slowing her down, River waddled as quick as she could to open the door. Heart racing with possibility, wondering what on earth was so important to wake her up at such a late hour.

She wrenched the door open, only to freeze at the sight before her.

Midnight had finally immobilized herself it seemed. Which was fine. They all knew that was going to happen sooner rather than later anyway. But the cart was new, and smart. River squinted, rubbing the sleep from her eyes. At least she hoped it was a cart. It was hard to tell. Midnight’s flab covered everything but hints of metal that glinted in the moonlight.

“Shipping label’s a good touch.” River decided, waddling forward to examine it. Canterlot...well that answered how the contest went. “What am I supposed to do with you?”

Midnight took up the road in front of River’s house, and that couldn’t do. Her loud snoring was going to wake up the neighbourhood at this rate but there was no way River would be able to get her portly friend inside. If Midnight could even fit in one of the rooms.

River sighed, half shrugging. Midnight was asleep and-a yawn made her jaw crack with the force of it-so should she. These were issues for later. Tomorrow morning at least.

Turning tail, River left her friend to the cool nighttime air.