Doom: Equestrian Nightmare

by mattman17112

Rating: mature
Tags: Adventure, Crossover, Human, Dark
Length: 5360

After a Marine fights his way through the Demons Mars had to offer. He finds himself in Equestria.

A lonely Marine stationed on Mars has seen some horrible things. His fellow squad mates being torn apart by the invading forces of Hell, a base filled with horrors only Hell could create, and seeing himself faced with death everyday. After defeating one of the most horrifying forces he has ever seen, he discovered something, another human surviving in the base. After trying to follow her, she lead him to a teleporter. But not the normal ones he is use to seeing, but one that was so large in size, it took up a humongous laboratory. Seeing her disappear into the large device he was suddenly ambushed by the Demons that he couldn't hate anymore than he did at that moment. After dodging, and killing the endless stream of enemies, a stray bolt of energy thrown by a Hell Knight hit the teleporter, causing it to spark, and malfunction. Having to choose between certain death, or risking a teleporter ride that could send him anywhere in the world, he quickly made his decision and jumped on the platform. After living through a Demonic invasion. After battling through hordes of Demons, and former humans. Not even he could believe where he had ended up. A colorful world filled with happiness and… Ponies.

Based on the Popular Video Game, "DOOM." It mixes the setting of DOOM 1 and 2. And the story of DOOM 3. Along with original characters, and story arch.

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-09-04 10:35:18 UTC

Chapter 1: Hell on Mars

Chapter 1: Hell on Mars

*BOOM*  *BOOM*  *BOOM*

        Three shotgun shells hit the floor as fast as I could pump them out.  Running and shooting got pretty old after awhile.  The constant mobs of demons, and zombies can easily take a toll on someone, even a marine.  It seemed like every minute of every day was filled with more, and more of them.  The never ending Hellspawn was Hell bent on destruction.  Thankfully I was armed to the teeth with weapons, and I know how to use them.

The three Imps that were hurling fireballs flew back with a storm of blood following.  The floor, and walls behind them were painted red in gore and blood.  Pieces of brain, and teeth scattered on the floor.  Another minute, more dead Demons.  That was the plus to this “Line of work.”  Everyone would be happy with more dead Demons.  There would be no protesting what I’m doing.

The new room that I wondered into was covered in the blood of my fellow marines.  Sorry bastards.  Thankfully I never made many friends, well any friends.  I hardly ever talked, if at all before the shit hit the fan.  It seemed like a normal day on Mars, and then Demons from Hell out of nowhere.  I watched as most of my squad was taken down in the blink of an eye.  Somehow I made it out.  But after living through this Hell I regret living sometimes.

After exploring most of the room, I found a hallway that lead to an even larger room.  Pillars on the outskirts of the room.  Laying right in the middle of said room was a BFG.  Oh shit yeah.  I have heard of theses big fucking guns.  Just what I’ve always wanted.  In my eagerness I forgot the first rule of this place.  Wherever free goodies lie, monsters will teleport to you.  As soon as I picked up the monster of a weapon, I heard the loud sound of the teleporter, followed by the growls and screams of the Demons, and Zombified soldiers.  I quickly pulled out my chaingun, set it to autospin and jumped for cover.  My armor could absorb some hits, and even claws, but it definitely didn’t make me invincible.  I peaked out from behind the pillar I had quickly taken cover behind and spotted at least 15 Imps and 10 or so Zombified soldiers.  I selected a target to the far right and held down the firing button.  What followed was to be expected.  Anything caught in the path of the chaingun was quickly turned into bloody chunks.  After shifting the gun to the left I witnessed the former bases defenders turned enemy become bits of grinded meat.  The Imp’s bodies reacted the same way of course.  They seemed to have the same body parts that Humans have.  After taking my finger off the firing button, I heard the screams of one of the dying Imps.  Blood was freely exciting it’s chest that somehow withstood the chainguns storm of lead.  I kicked at it’s face with my boot and was rewarded with a smash and an explosion of brain, and bits of jaw.  That was satisfying.

After adding the BFG to my arsenal of death, I made my way down the what seemed an almost linear path.  The Mars compound offered little in variety when it came to architecture.  The same darkly colored (And normally blood covered) walls greeted my every step.  I came to a door that had what looked to be red blocks of light near it.  I assume this is the door that the Red keycard I found opened.  Although that was the 10th Red keycard I had found, they only seem to work on the areas that you find them in.  All of the areas, rather it be blue, red, or yellow have the corresponding light that will match up with the color of the keycard, but sadly once you exit the area, it no longer works, and becomes useless.  Whatever person came up with that idea deserved to die in my opinion.

The room that I found myself in now was filled with a toxic liquid.  Why there is fucking toxic liquid in a Mars base I will never know, but I can’t really file a complaint to command.  The room had a small walkway throw the toxic liquid substance.  As I made my way down the walkway the Large blast doors in front of me opened, and I was greeted with a group of Shotgun, and rifle wielding zombies.  I opened fire with my rocket launcher from a safe distance, and watched the group get turned into chunks.  Again, blood coated the walls, and floors.  I walked through the gore carefully as not to slip and fall on my ass.  I entered the new, non toxic filled room, and picked up a box of shells, and was met with the screams of the zombies.  One even managed to screech in it’s horribly unnatural voice, “DIE MORTAL!.”  Eat shotgun pellets you assholes.  It’s head exploded in a fountain of blood, and showered the walls in red.  The others quickly followed suit.

I entered the much smaller room and found a backpack filled with ammunition for all of my current weapons.  Bullets for my rifle, and chaingun.  Shells for my shotgun.  Rockets for my Rocket launcher, and cells for my plasma rifle, and newly found BFG.  I was still carrying the chainsaw I decided to pick up incase of close calls.  Someone must of fucked up their job in command and had them send us chainsaws instead of something more useful like a jackhammer, or laser drill.  There would be no other reason for chainsaws to have found themselves at Mars.  Thankfully they have a use now.

I went over to the large blast door that had a switch next to it.  This feels really bad.  No way anything good is going to be behind theses doors.  I quickly loaded all my weapons, and checking my ammo count.  I hit the switch, and raised my shotgun prepared for whatever was behind theses doors.  I saw a tall and wide hellish looking structure in the middle of the circle shaped area.  The door lead to outside.  I looked around my surroundings.  It seemed that although outside, another door that looked to lead to a similar facility that I had just exited awaited me.

I made my way over to the red structure that looked to be covered in... viens?  This can’t be good.  Whatever might be in there, can just remain locked away for all I care.  Just as I started to walk cautiously past the ungodly structure, I heard a loud growl, followed by a scream that did not belong to any human, former, or regular.  It was filled with hate, pain, and rage.  The very structure that housed this creature shock at the force of it’s voice.

The red structure suddenly opened up.  What walked out nearly made me, a hardened, bad ass, only known survivor of an invasion that left everyone else dead, and above all, a Marine, almost shit his pants.  What stood, well towered over me was a monster.  Not like all the demonic monsters that I have saw in the past.  But the most terrifying embodiment of evil known to man.  It stood at least 30 feet tall.  It’s legs made of a metal like substance.  The feet of the creature were hooved shaped, made of the same metal substance.  It’s stomach and chest are a mixture of metal, and what looked to brown meat.  On one of it’s arms it had a rocket launcher attached to it.  It’s other arm was just as menacing, having large razor sharp claws at the end of it.  It’s head was just as brown as it’s body, and had two crimson red eyes.  It’s mouth was just a bunch of teeth stuffed onto a jaw.  Well the bigger they are, the harder they will fall.

I opened fire with my shotgun, running away from it’s monstrous feet that could easily crush me in one stomp.  Since it was very slow, I out ran, and maneuvered it with ease.  I put away my almost useless shotgun, taking out my rocket launcher.  I sent three rockets in its direction.  Two out of the three found their mark.  One missing off to the side.  I heard a grunt of pain from the Demon.  It fired 5 rockets at me in a rapid pace.  It’s aim was thankfully off, but the force of the explosion still sent me off my feet.  I quickly recovered, and recollected my rocket launcher that I had dropped from the explosion.  I ran off again, trying to take cover behind the structure it came from.  It was big enough to momentarily block the creatures line of sight.  I put in a new set of rockets.  I peered out from my cover and fired the whole pack of six at the beast.  All six hit the target.  A loud grunt of pain followed, but still, the beast stood.  Chunks of meat had been blown away.  Blood leaked out from the areas that were damaged.  This fucking thing was tough to be able take eight rockets to it’s chest and still be walking.  Another rocket attack was headed my way from the beast.  This time seven rockets were heading my way.  I ran and then dove away from the impact zone.  At least I held onto my weapon this time.  I took out my newly found BFG.  I made sure I had a clear firing zone, and nothing would obstruct the weapons fire path.  From what I’ve heard, I don’t want to be anywhere near the blast radius.  I charged the shot, and then fired.  A direct hit!  A scream of pain this time.  It’s arms both fell off.  It’s legs were completely obliterated, and it fell due to the lack of support.  It was screaming and growling from it’s defeat.  I put my BFG away and walk to face the Demon.  I put the shotgun in the face of the dying monster.  “Go back to Hell.”, I said, then pulled the trigger.  It’s large head exploded, and covered me in gore.  I pumped the shotgun, ejecting the shell, and put another one in it’s place.

I made my way to the door opposite the door I entered.  As it opened, I took in the same dark walls covered in blood.  Although I just defeated one of the largest monsters I have ever seen, I felt defeated in another way.  Morally.  This isn’t going to end until I die.  There is no end in sight.  Not even another person to share my misery.  I continued down the halls.  I picked up the ammo that was scattered on the floor.  I made my way past the long empty office spaces that were scattered around the large building.  I use to search for the PDA’s for any idea on how this whole mess started.  I only heard the last messages that the former people of Mars had to say.  I didn’t need anymore misery.  I found a health station, and dressed my wounds as best I could.  The area seemed clear of any enemies.  As I wandered around the offices I heard a door open.  I search for the sound.  I saw a women in combat armor, like mine.  She didn’t have a helmet, unlike me.  From the look on her face, I could tell she was frightened.  She must be a good fighter if she has lasted this long.  She quickly ran down the hall in front of her, she was carrying some sort of device.  It looked as though it would plug into something.  I quickly ran after her, but Goddamn she was fast.  If there was any Demons that were alerted to me, they did not make it known.

After getting lost for a few minutes, I thought I heard a machine start up.  I quickly found the door that the noise was coming from, and opened it.  The women was on top of a large teleportation machine.  It looked man made, unlike the Demonic ones that were scattered around Mars.  I noticed the device she was carrying was inserted on the control panel.  The large machine fired up and in the middle, on top of the machine a green light appeared.  I screamed “HEY”, to get her attention.  Wait, fuck, that’s bad.  What if she shoots-

A gunshot rang out, and I felt an impact on my left shoulder.  Fuck!  That hurt.  Before I could explain myself she disappeared into the green light.  Goddamn it!  I ran to the machine, and was trying to find the ladder she must have used to get on top of the teleporter.  I heard the *WOOSH* of a portal opening up.  I’m going to hope that maybe it’s her.  “DIE MORTAL.”  Well shit.  I quickly turned around and was saw a hoard of zombies and Imps behind me.  I took out my chain gun and opened fire, quickly turning the assaulting forces of Hell into bloody chunks.  Sadly more and more kept appearing.  I switched to my rocket launcher and defeat the final wave.  Painting the room almost completely red.  Thankfully nothing seemed to hit the teleporter.  Suddenly from behind me, I heard the *WOOSH* again.  I turned around just in time to get smacked across the face by a claw that belonged to a Hell Knight.  I landed on my back and my rocket launcher flew away from my grip.  FUCK!

I pulled out my shotgun, ignoring the searing pain coming from my back and face.  Somehow my helmet withstood the powerful swipe.  I sent a volley of shells it’s way in hopes of luring it away from the teleporter.  I did so successfully.  I started walking extremely fast in my direction.  I shoot it a few more times, and dodge it’s swip.  I ran to the teleporter, quickly finding the ladder this time, and hauled ass up it.  Sadly the Demon spotted me and sent a ball of energy my way.  I quickly dove, and dodge it’s attack.  I heard a loud spark and saw that the ball of energy did it’s damage.  The teleporter was starting to blink red, and I heard a calming voice telling me that the machine had taken damage, and would automatically shut off in 20 seconds.  I realized that in it’s damage state it could teleport me somewhere different.  I was thinking about staying here, but my decision was made for me when I heard the same *WOOSH* and saw more and more Demons appearing.  Fuck it I thought, and dove into the green light.

______________________________________________________________________________

        I awoke with a searing pain going down my back, and my a similar pain in my neck.  Thankfully that powerful smack by the Hell Knight didn’t break my neck.  I realized that my surroundings consisted of a unnaturally colorful forest.  I took out my shotgun, suddenly sadden remembering that I had lost my rocket launcher.  From the looks of things I don’t need my shotgun out.  It just seems so friendly, but I know better after surviving that Hell.  I made my way through the thick forest and saw another astonishing thing.  A pony.  A yellow pony with pink hair.  A yellow pony with pink hair that had wings.  I stood staring with my mouth wide open.  The yellow pony then saw me.  Screamed a humanly scream that made it clear it was a female, and ran away.  I would have trouble understand what had just happened.  I would normally think that I had been killed back on the base, and this was a weird form of an afterlife.  I would normally wonder if I was on some drug.  But I had already been through the same thing before, back on the Mars base..  Only this seemed more like Heaven, and the base seemed more like Hell.

        I began searching for the yellow pony.  I had accept what was happening.  I mean why not right?  I’ve been through Hell, might as well enjoy this, even if it might only be a dream, but I’m really doubting that right now.  I put my shotgun away, and continued through the clearly large forest.  As soon as I saw a clearing, I briefly saw a speeding rainbow colored streak coming right at me.  I soon found myself on the ground with another pony on top of me.  She too had wings.  But instead of yellow fur, she had cyan fur.  With rainbow colored hair.

        “What are you doing here you Demon!”  She asked.

        Me a Demon?  If only she knew...  If only she knew.

Chapter 2: Welcoming Party.

Chapter 2: Welcoming Party.

*One week back*

*Location:  Mars landing pad A1*

*Monday, September 21st, 2123 AD.  6:02PM*

        I took my luggage in my right hand and calmly stepped out of the medium sized spacecraft.  So this is the shit hole they decided to send me too.  I figured it wouldn’t be such an easy job.  When I got demoted thanks to the... incident, I thought they would send me a far away shit hole, guarding some nuclear plant.  It seems it is worse than that.  Although I am stationed on Mars, where some high tech, and high priced sciencey shit is stored, and even weapons testing.  I am stuck with guarding Mars City, and the surrounding work areas.  At least it’s not a war zone, but I’m sure after a few weeks of this mundane security job, I’ll be wishing it was a battlefield.

        As I walked to Mars City Administration, I noticed some people standing idly around the bay, and overheard a conversation the workmen standing around were having.

        “Can you fucking believe it?  Bill just JUMPED, not fall!  I know he didn’t fucking fall.  I saw him, his smiling face, laughing while he jumped into heating system.  That’s going to stick with me.”

        “That’s nothing.  I heard that some crazy motherfucker in alpha, your typical egg headed scientist, just took a wrenched and caved in the head of his lab partner.  That’s some fucked up shit.”

        “I’m just glad I only have a few days left in my rotation.  Three days, and I’m getting the fuck out of here.”

        “You lucky bastard.  I still have two months left.  I can hear the voices people have been talking about too.  I can’t understand a fucking thing they are saying, but I can still hear them.  They keep me up at night.”

        “We should just keep our eyes open, look out for anyone going crazy, and just keep to ourselves.”

        I guess this place really does get to you.  I hope I don’t end up as paranoid as some of theses people seem to have been.

        I walk to the exit of the landing pad.  As the door opens in front of me, a security guard at the current checkpoint instructs me to stop, and stand on the red foot shaped floor markers.  They scan me to make sure I’m not carrying the next pandemic and wave me through.  I exited the cramped checkpoint and make my way to Mars City Administration.  I observed workers checking on whatever levels they were in charge of checking.  Some were programming what looked like security bots.  Jesus, my job might not last as long as I imagined it to.

        I walked through the halls and break room.  I paused for a few minutes in the break room, to see what they had playing on the TV.  More news about death, and war.  Yeah, what else is new?  As I left the break room I noticed a young woman dressed in a spec ops uniform.  Machine gun present and all.  Damn, maybe they really did have some incidents happening here.  I saw two high ranking military officials have what looked to be a heated conversation with a scientist.  He looked more like your stereotypical mad scientist to me.  Complete with a robotic arm, and fucked up eye.  I couldn’t make out what they were saying, but they were talking at such a volume that I could the hear faint sounds coming from the room.

        “Don’t you have somewhere to be, soldier?”  The women guarding the room asked.

        I just nodded and carried on to my destination.  Thankfully this PDA that I was assigned before shipping out came with a map, or I would be completely lost.  When I finally reached Administration I took note of even more Spec ops standing around the area.  I walked to the front desk, and handed the man my PDA, so he could update my security clearance and give me my orders.

        “All new security arrivals are to report to Sergeant Matthews.  He will give you a detailed instruction of what your job is, and tell you where to find your gear.”

        He is going to tell me how to guard a bunch of scientist and their living quarters?  Jesus, he must be one of the best they could find.  I can’t wait to hear what kind of insightful knowledge he could give me on standing around and looking tough.

“I would hurry if I was you.  He doesn’t like to be kept waiting.”  The man said.

I again nodded, and looked on my PDA’s map for the location.  Looks like it was just a few hallways away.  As I walked past another break room, I saw Super Turbo Turkey Puncher 10.  I know where I’ll be spending most of my breaks now.  After I walked past the room I heard a scream coming from the room.  I took a few steps back and saw a man with a knife trying to stab another man that he had pinned to the floor.  Two of the workers were struggling to get the crazy motherfucker off of him.  I ran into the room, and kicked the man square in the head.  Effectively causing him to fall back.  He got back up, and his target changed from the man that he had pinned to the floor, who was now crying, to me.  He smiled a devilish smile and lunged at me.  I caught his hand that held the knife, and quickly broke his wrist.  I balled my other hand into a fist and struck him right in the nose.  I then kneed him in the stomach, causing him to fall forward, but not fall down to the ground.  I elbow him in the back of the head and then give him a swift kick to the side once he is down.  He was now holding his head, groans of pain coming through his blood soaked lips.

The others in the room just looked at me, confused, frightened, and probably a little bit happy that the delusional piece of shit was out for the count.  I just smiled and walked back down the hallway.  I guess this place really was going to shit, well, not to be pessimistic, but probably going to shit more than it already was.  I wonder where the spec ops people I saw were out.  Hope they aren’t paying them too much for just standing around.  I found the Headquarters that Sergeant Matthews was located at.  Two regular guards stood at attention on both sides of the door.

“Holy shit, are you that guy the fucked up that crazy motherfucker back in the break room?”  One guard asked.

“Damn, nice one.  But don’t expect to get a pat on the back from the sarge.”  The second guard said.

I entered the room, and saw a large man standing in front of a monitor.  He had the patches that a sergeant would have.  He altered his gaze from the monitor and looked me straight in the eyes.

“John Carson?”  He asked.

I nodded.

“Good.  You took your sweet ass time getting here.  I heard you had an altercation with an armed civilian?  Damn, took you that long enough to disarm, and take care of the threat.  I guess they don’t think we need good security forces on Mars, so they send us the bottom of the barrel.”  Sergeant Matthews finished.

I can tell he was going to offer some insightful advice on my job at hand.  Probably tell me how to kill a man by just looking at him.  Hell, maybe even tell me how to work on of those complicated flash lights.  He just beamed intelligence.

“Well as you may have heard your job is guarding Mars City.  It’s a place where all of the civilian and some low level military guards live.  Like yourself.”  He said.

Wow, you don't say?  I thought Mars City is where all the aliens lived.  I could have sworn that humans lived out in the airless, scorching hot outdoors that Mars had to offer.

“Your main job is to protect all people in your guarding district from each other, themselves, and any other threats that might make themselves known.”  He continued.

Protect?  I thought I was supposed to shoot any, and everyone that I saw.  Jesus, this job really is complicated.

“Anytime another ranking officer instructs you to do something. DO IT!  No matter if the job is out of your district, no matter if you are finger banging Miss Mary Jane, no matter what.”  He said.

Damn, but what if I have Miss Mary Jane close to orgasm?  Shouldn’t we take her feelings into consideration too?

“Briefing over.  You are dismissed.  Go collect your gear outside.  Don’t fuck up either, you and I both know this job isn’t the most difficult of things to do.”  Yeah, no shit.  “ And if you do fuck up, I’ll have your ass shipped to the moon.”  The Sergeant said, turning to face the monitors.

I gave him a salute and exited the room.  What a fucking idiot.  I better not be in a fighting situation.  If I am, I’m fragging him the second I can, and blaming it on the enemy.

I collected my gear.  Armor, helmet, flashlight, pistol and ammunition.  The soldier in charge also gave me my room number, and address.  Room 13, section A2.  I made my way to my room and unpacked my things, and sat on my bed.  After a few minutes of reading through my PDA trying to memorize the layout of the area.  I saw a room labeled Cafeteria, and decided it was time to get some food.  After eating the so called Fried Steak, and mash potatoes, it was almost 8PM.  My shift starts tomorrow at 8AM sharp.  I went back to my room, and again read my PDA some.  Memorizing more of the area I was going to guard, as well as the surrounding area.  After an hour of fucking around on my PDA which actually got internet, I decided it was time to get some shut eye.  Before drifting to sleep, I could have sworn I heard the cries of tortured souls, and their torturers laughing in a demonic voice.  My dreams consisted of madness, past loves, and wishes.  But mostly just the nightmares of battles I had been through.  And maybe the battles yet to come.

______________________________________________________________________________

*Two hours before John Carson arrives in Ponyville*

        Twilight was pacing around her library/house.  She couldn’t believe what she found just laying on the ground in the Everfree Forest while helping Fluttershy collect fruit and other resources.  The book looked almost.. evil.  An upside down five pointed star inside of a circle.  The books cover was made out of a leathery material that was blood red.  It just seemed so disturbing.  She knew she probably shouldn’t open up the book.  Whatever words lie inside the book probably weren’t meant for her eyes to see.  Although, it could hold some awesome new spells!  After a few minutes of fighting with herself she decided one little peek couldn’t hurt.  From what she could tell, this was a spell book!  It detailed the workings of opening a portal to the “other side” and even teleportation!  She already knew teleportation, but maybe this could help her improve!  She just had to get this to Princess Celestia!  I bet she wouldn’t believe the mysteries inside of this book.  She might even let me help her out!  Twilight thought.

        “Hey Twilight.  What are you so worked up about?”  Her little Dragon assistant asked.

        “It’s this new book I found in the Everfree Forest!  It details all sorts of spells on opening portals and teleportation!”  Twilight explained.

        “I should have known it had something to do with a book.”  Spike said.

        “I need to let the Princess see this as fast as possible.  I’m sure she will have some insight on what to make of the book.  She might even like me help her!  Do you know what this means Spike?”  Twilight asked.

“More work for me?”  Spike answered.

“No!  Well yeah, probably.  But it means that we might learn how to open portals to other worlds!  Even a chance at meeting extraterrestrial life forms!”  Twilight said.  “Spike, take a note.”

After Spike sent the note to Princess Celestia, Twilight read more of the books knowledge.  She soon discovered that you could open up a portal to a place called Hell.  Hell.. huh, that doesn’t sound like such a great place.  She thought to herself.  I’ll have to make to make sure I ask Celestia about it when I arrive.  After reading the book for another few minutes Spike burped up a letter sent by Princess Celestia.  It ordered Twilight to see her as soon as possible.  Twilight told Spike to stay in the tree house and await for her return.  Twilight was very excited about what knowledge lied awaiting her in this book.  If only she knew of the evils of the book, that were just begging, praying to whatever evil they considered their God, for someone or something to activate the portals.  It had already been done once before, not too long ago.

______________________________________________________________________________

*Everfree Forest entrance, near Fluttershy’s cottage*

        “Answer me you Demon!  What are you doing here?”  The cyan colored pony with rainbow colored hair repeated.

        Well fuck.  I guess I’m going to have to break my mute streak.  It was fun while it lasted.

        “My name is John, John Carson.”  I answered.  “And trust me, I’m no Demon.”

        “That’s just what a Demon would say!”  The cyan colored pony retorted.

        “All Demons you’ve met are called John Carson?”  I replied.

        “Huh?  What?  No, that’s not what I meant!  Whatever, give me one good reason not to pound your face in!”  The cyan colored pony continued.

        “Hey now.  Wait a darn minute.  Maybe we should let the “Demon” explain itself to us.”  An orange pony standing behind the cyan pony said.  She was wearing  cowboy hat, and even had orange colored hair.

        “And let it tell us more lies!  I say we just kick it’s butt, and send it back to the forest!”  The cyan pony replied.  She really wasn’t one for reason was she.

        “Okay, let me explain myself.”  I said, as I carefully lifted the cyan pony off of me.  She was too stunned to even react.  Her orange friend seemed to take a fighting stance though, prepared for whatever might happen next.

        “As I’ve said, my name is John Carson.  I’m from a planet called Earth.  I was stationed on a planet called Mars to guard some scientist, and one thing lead to another, and I ended up here.”  It’s probably best I leave out all of the details about killing most of the people at the base.  Even though they were zombies, something tells me theses ponies wouldn’t understand it.  “So, what are your names?”  I asked.  Fuck this feels weird.  Talking to animals.  Still beats facing death every second of the day.

        “Well mah’ name is Applejack, me and mah’ family own a farm in Ponyville.  We harvest some of tha’ best darn apples in Equestria.”  She said.  I guess her accent does make sense.

        “And I’m Rainbow Dash!  The best flyer in Equestria!  I can beat anyone in a race, even you Demon!”  She replied.

        “Human.  We’re called Humans.”  I said.

        “Whatever you are, I could beat you in a race.”  Rainbow Dash said.

        “So partner, do you mind tell us what all that blood colored stuff is on your cloths is?”  Applejack asked.

        “Um, well it’s uh..”  Fuck, how do I explain this.  “Huh.  I don’t know.”  I said.  “It wasn’t on my armor when I first went through the teleporter.  If I had to guess, it could be residue that somehow got on me when I traveled here.  I’ve heard of similar reports happening elsewhere.  But in their case, it was black.”  I said, making up a bullshit story on the spot.  Please let them believe me, I really don’t want to start off on this world beating the shit out of some animals.

        “Teleporter?  Residue?  What are you talking about?”  Rainbow Dash asked.

        “A teleporter takes you from one place to another and-” I was saying.

        “Yeah, I know what teleporting means, but what is a teleporter?  We, well the unicorns just use magic to teleport.”  Rainbow Dash said.

        “Humans can’t use magic, ever, at all.  It doesn’t even exist where we come from.  We use technology to help us in our daily lives.  To tell you the truth I never even went through a teleporter until I was on Mars.”  I said.

        “Fair enough.”  Rainbow Dash said.  “We’re going to have to have Twilight send a message to Princess Celestia about you though.  I’m sure she would want to know about... whatever you are.”

        “But Twilight went to see tha’ Princess just an hour ago.  She might not be back for awhile.”  Applejack said.

        “That’s okay.  We can just keep an eye on him until she returns.  I’m sure she would love to introduce a new creature to the Princess.”  Rainbow dash said.

        “Hey, who is that hiding behind the tree?”  I asked.

        “Oh that’s just Fluttershy!  She gets kinda frightened by people.  She is just a lil’ shy.”  Applejack said.

        “Oh, I think she is the pony I first saw out in the forest.  She did seem pretty fuckin’ wigged out when she saw me.”  I said.

        “If by wigged you mean scared, then yeah, just a little.”  Rainbow Dash said.

“I’m not as scared so much of him now, as the thing who is standing behind him.”  Fluttershy whispered out, I barely made out what she just said.  She went back to taking cover behind large tree.

“What the hay is that?!”  Rainbow Dash yelled.  If my luck is to pan out here, as it did back on Mars.  I’ll assume it’s not a fluffy cat.  I quickly took out my shotgun, and turned around, prepared for whatever was behind me.