It is just like any other Saturday. You get in your car, deal with the concrete jungle ways of interstate traffic, and then park as you prepare to start another day caged in the cell known as Aarons. You knew today was going to be a wonderful, spectacular clusterfuck since you had already overslept through your alarm, had gotten a notice of a wage levy from a hospital bill that you had forgotten about, and had to change a tire in the rain.
To make matters worse, due to the aforementioned delays, you were fifteen minutes late for work.
"Hey!" Your boss, a heavy-set man who loved to chain smoke cigars like he was a member of the Cuban Mafia, said as you made your way inside and started to scrub your shoes on the welcome mat. "You know the show 'Beat the Clock'? How about you take a close look at the one on the wall, because YOU DIDN'T BEAT THE CLOCK!"
"Sorry sir," You replied, your bullshit tolerance level already starting to plummet like a shot-up tie fighter. "Got stuck in traffic and also had to change a tire, if you'll like, tomorrow's shift can last an extra fifteen minutes to make up for today."
"Hmm, I suppose that would work, considering you look soaked," Your boss replied, glancing at your drenched body over. "With how hard it is raining, the delivery truck isn't running today, so other than helping answering calls, you get to put out the displays."
"Yes sir," You knew that the store actually didn't open for another hour, and normally used this time to prep the delivery truck and double-check the route, but with the truck parked you decided to get a jump start on the display room.
Moving into the sacred storage area where not many had dared to tread, you noticed something that was not like the other bubble-wrapped models. It appeared to be a miniature horse, specifically a unicorn, with a purple coat and two-toned mane and tail that seemed otherworldly. On top of that, she had a weird-looking brand of a diamond-style heart with whisps rising from it on both of her flanks. However, the creepiest part was that she appeared to be reading the copy of Steven Hawking's "The Theory of Everything." that you had requested to be shipped via Amazon to take home.
"Oh hi!" The pony said, looking up at you with her big persian-blue eyes as you stood frozen like a statue. "My name is Starlight Glimmer, want to be my friend?"
"Fucking Christ!" Your attempt to retreat was thwarted by your slick shoes, making you fall flat on your ass. "A talking horse?! Is there some sort of gas or shit causing this hallucination?!"
"Nope!" Starlight said, standing up and stretching like an oversized cat as, much to your horror, she began to approach you. "I was sent to Earth by my mentor and friend Twilight Sparkle after we accidentally stumbled across this universe while checking out different dimensions. It seemed pretty close to an alternate world of my home, so I volunteered to check it out for her and take notes."
"Oh great," You muttered, feeling like you were Patient Zero in a B horror movie about extraterrestrial invaders. "Let all of humanity bow to our new adorably cute overboard, All Hail Starbutt! All Hail Starbutt!"
"Nah, that's Twilight's nickname, not mine," Starlight said, her giggle only adding to her adorableness. "Also, this is purely a scientific research study, nothing more. I learned my lesson the hard way that some things are not to be messed with, and this Hawking fellow seems to share a lot with a unicorn back home when it comes to the topic of universal concepts on the tiniest level. Shame the two will never meet…"
"Well Hawking died a few years ago, so unless you can reanimate the dead, you're out of luck," Your remark was met by a look of disgust from the pony In front of you, yet another nail in your hope she was just a hallucination, but showed she did have some morals. "Say, what are you doing in the storage area of a random Aaron's? Shouldn't you be, ya know, off with diplomats and such?"
"I deal with nobles on a daily basis, so I could use the break," Starlight said, giving a little shrug. "Besides, it really wouldn't be a good research study by focusing on upper-class behavior when the common person is much more diverse! As far as how I got in here, I was sticking to the shadows last night while observing night time human behavior when I got caught in a downpour. So I ran to the nearest building and teleported inside, I've been in here since."
"You teleported?" You wanted to question that with every fiber of your existence, but the fact you were currently speaking with an alien horse made you decide it was best not to ask. "Ok, but how did the boss not see you when he came in? Let alone, on the security camera."
"In short? An invisibility spell that prevents me from being seen by technology, and I hid behind the boxes when he was doing his rounds." Starlight moved back to the spot you had found her at and picked up your book, resuming where she left off. "Also? That is your boss? He reeks of tobacco and had the complexion of someone woke up on the wrong side of a hornet nest, to the point that I am not even sure a professional, licensed shrink could help."
"Can't argue that," You honestly couldn't, especially after the only time you suggested him to get help ended with you nearly getting fired. "Look, I got to put stuff out in the showroom, try to stay still ok?"
"What in the pissant fuck is going on back here?!" Your boss shouted, making you jump and Starlight subtly flinch as he stormed over to inspect the silently terrified mare. "Are you going soft on me? I swear, you better put this animatronic out on the floor and stop playing with it before I show this horn so far up your ass a Texas oil rig could use it to drill for the other kind of liquid gold since you seem to love costing me money!"
"Y-yes sir!" You really hated the way that your boss came across, and even Starlight looked furious, but you had the decency to give her an apologetic look before 'leading' her out to the front and acted as you instructed her to stop by the desk where you would be at most of the day. "Sorry about that, sit here while the displays are put out as fast as possible."
"Don't worry about it, I got something for him," You noticed Starlight's tone was way more ominous than you cared to like, the hairs on the back of your neck standing on end as she whispered where only you could hear. "Since he seems to like money so much, why not offer to 'buy me' to get him off your back? However, record the conversation, so if he tries any dirty crap you can blackmail him with the recording."
"Smart thinking," Sliding your hand into your pocket, and making sure it was in a blind spot of the security camera, you secretly opened your phone and hit the record feature on your cell phone camera before hiding it as you went back into the storage area. "Say boss, was doing a bit of thinking. How about the fifteen minutes extra become a permanent thing for the next six months, but the extra payments go towards the animatronic so your payroll stays the same?"
"Are you fucking serious right now?" Your boss started turning as red as Superman's cape, but much to your surprise he stopped short of going Hiroshima. "Actually, tell you what, go along with that and she can be yours for six payments easy payments of $79.99, or $420.69 same as cash. After all, you don't look a gift horse in the mouth
Author's Note
Sorry it isn't more, but I wanted to see if I could write a one shot in two hours. Shoutout to my friend Juliana for the inspiration.
