Me, a king? Bah! (3)

This isn’t going to turn well for me. At least, not as well as I would hope for it to go.

When a diplomatic meeting happens, people generally have to be well-dressed, fresh, and ready to face all unpleasant turns that can come up during the very meeting. It was standard procedure that I had learned by studying the ‘Foreign Relations’ section of the faculty I majored in, and right now I was set up to have quite the weak set up to get through this important event.

Still, much to my instantaneous relief, Cadance and Shining Armor seemed really open in waiting for lunch instead of pushing for something earlier than that. It opened a route that I was more than relieved to believe in, the one where they weren’t planning to push for the subjugation of the Empire due to Celestia’s orders to secure it. Maybe they were still trying to study the predicament before making any call, and that meant I was going to have the chance of arguing favorable for my current situation and perhaps spare any unpleasant relations between the nations.

I got the chance to sparing a couple of words with the advisors, but no chance to actually get a proper royal outfit made in such short notice. Things like this, even with magic, required time. Time that I didn’t have at the moment, but still I could issue for the creation of the uniform so it can be ready as quickly as possible.

So I was stuck with my current clothes, and… and I was very nervous. While the guards confirmed that there was only Twilight among them and nobody that resembled other members of the Mane 6, I was still unsure if I was up for the task this early on in my ‘adventure’. Still, I had to try and succeed, else things were going to be fairly unpleasant for me in the near future.

Shadow Mark was obviously intrigued by all of this, scribbling down what I could tell him of the info he had to be prepared about when it comes to the Diarchy. Despite the fact that I had to be… limited about the information I could rely on others since I was trying to keep a ‘clueless’ take on my entire predicament, I knew I had to give out some serious information.

Like Luna’s banishment for a thousand years, the fact that the Elements of Harmony have been reunited, and that there were three Alicorns right now compared to the previous two ones. Which is why one of the two ponies spearheading the entourage was one. I really wasn’t sure how to handle Cadance. I knew how to handle a guy like Shining Armor due to what I knew about the military and how to calm him down if he had some serious concerns about the current unexpected development, while I had the inkling of an idea how to face Twilight.

But Cadance? Kind of a wildcard I wasn’t sure how to face. And I had to do so while keeping a smooth and respectful attitude towards my current guests.

So here I was, mostly alone as I sat down at the big table where the Equestrian Diplomatic envoy was supposed to share with me. Shadow Mark sat on my left, Platinum Rush at my right, the rest of the side was filled with scholars and experts in diplomacy which weren’t exactly that great due to the lack of relations for a long time and… and yeah, I was holding myself the best I could. The menu I had the chefs prepare for the important lunch was filled by mostly pony-favored dishes, while I settled for the few things I could actually digest without feeling ill during the entire situation. And there were a few of those from the looks of it.

I should really bring some variations of pasta to this world. Would probably add variety for non-ponies to consider.

I tensed up the moment I heard the doors open, one of the Crystal Ponies assigned to wait for the entourage, a pony with a light-blue trumpet as his Cutie Mark, moving forward to introduce their arrival.

“Your highness, Princess Cadance and Prince-Consort Shining Armor of Equestria.”

Standing up and following etiquette, I nodded at the servant and allowed him to make way for the group to slowly advance.

“As the first representative of the Crystal Empire, I… I wish to humbly greet you in this nation,” I said while giving a quick bow. “Please join us for lunch.”

The married couple didn’t hesitate in accepting my formal request, merely sharing a quick look for each other before approaching the table. Twilight lagged a little bit behind while holding onto a bag filled with rolled scrolls, beside her Spike. The young drake was looking around with a partially curious but mostly polite pace as in to not appear too childish with his interest over the room’s aesthetics.

They all sat down by the available chairs, and it took them a moment to properly reply to my words. It was Cadance that spoke up, following the diplomatic pecking order that saw her atop the others, even her husband.

“King John, I wish to return the kind and welcoming way you allowed us to join you at this banquet,” The pink-furred alicorn greeted back. “Equestria is more than willing to value former allies rightfully, even those that were unfortunately left behind due to the unpleasant curses of the former monarch.”

I nodded, taking a moment to glance at the sides to see a few of the advisors and some of the scholars tense up at the indirect mention of Sombra. That was going to be a troublesome habit that had to go one way or another.

“I’m glad to hear this, Princess Cadenza.”

The princess briefly paused at my words, looking confused for a moment before regaining a better composure over the matter.

“Still, I believe it’s only true to the nature of the friendship between our nations for me to admit that my arrival wasn’t exactly meant to dignify a diplomatic envoy, but rather an effort to replace Sombra with… a more appropriate monarch.”

“And I suppose you were the candidate meant to be in my current seat of power if I hadn’t defeated the tyrant,” I guessed, gaining a nervous nod from the girl. “Well, I guess that does make some sense since I think you’re related to the ruler before Sombra. At least I can say that from your full name.”

“Princess Amore,” Shadow Mark added with a respectful tone. “The last bearer of the Crystal Heart.”

“Which is… actually surprising and marvelous!” A feminine voice squeaked on Cadance’s left. I glanced there and I found Twilight tensing up at the amount of attention she suddenly received at the comment. “I-I didn’t mean to say that so loudly...”

“It’s alright. I believe you are Twilight Sparkle, student to Princess Celestia.”

A small nervous smile appeared and she looked abashed by bringing up the non-negligible she has despite the lack of royalty within it. Still, even though the exchange was brief, I knew I could weave and push for a specific set of topics to happen out of it. Especially thanks to the fact that the Unicorn was taking notes on the meeting.

“I can also see that everyone here wishes to ask me questions from the fact I’m not exactly a known element within this world,” I commented calmly. “Well, I suppose I can answer a couple of questions if anyone is interested.”

Twilight frowned. “Everyone and… anyone? Maybe you are confusing those with everypony and anypony, your highness?”

That was actually something I had thought about and I really hoped for them to not be too skittish about. Sure, I knew the show made use heavily of terms that were more appropriate to pony culture, but I was certain of the fact that other species didn’t exactly go out of their way to keep that as a standard for their own cultures. So I felt slightly confident with what I had in mind as a response to this circumstance.

“I reckon that it would be logically correct to address myself in the context too. I’m not a pony,” I recalled and she actually adopted a thoughtful expression before nodding in quiet agreement.

“I can get behind that line of thought, King John,” Shining Armor quipped, gaining my interest and surprise due to the fact he had kept quiet until that very moment. “It’s quite common for ponies in the military to learn to address other races through the terms that have been coined by their respective nations.”

Platinum Rush nodded. “I’m familiar with this. But I thought the Equestrian Military was more traditional compared to ours in that regard.”

“Many things have changed, High Commander,” The Royal Captain addressed with a calm voice. “And I hope this can be used to bridge our current differences in a more peaceful world.”

Well, this was turning nice and well but… I forgot about one thing. I gave permission to Twilight Sparkle to ask me questions. And I forgot to say no to invasive ones.

“Your highness, if it’s not asking too much… can I ask you what species you are?”

I blinked, turning back to glance at her as I addressed her question.

“I’m a human. I also have a different set of ways to address what I personally am. Like Stallion is Man, and Mare is Woman.”

“Oh, but what about other terms? And the fact you are bipedal and… the digits coming out from your arms and-”

“Twilight,” Cadance interrupted with a frown. The Element of Magic paused, realizing that she had come close to go through one of her science moments.

“Oh- Oh, I didn’t mean to sound too pushy,” The cute bookworm said while quickly bowing her head.

“My… sister tends to exaggerate when given too much freedom in these regards,” Shining Armor added and I could only nod sympathetically at his comment.

“I can relate. My sister tends to behave in a similar way when she finds something interesting to understand,” I answered without thinking too much about it. And it was in that moment that I unconsciously planted a seed of interest within one of the ponies at the table.

Shining looked surprised, but mostly curious at my response. “I suppose you are aware of the troubles of-”

“Being the older sibling with a sister that has tendencies to throw common sense out of the window the moment she finds something interesting to study?”

…

“That’s actually unexpected,” He admitted with an interested nod.

“Likewise, but I suppose it’s a pleasant surprise like I think.”

I mean, it was a stretch but I really wanted to find a common point through this detail. The ‘friendlier’ the common point was, the easier it was going for me to further cement a good relationship with these ponies.

“It would seem so,” The Captain admitted, and I could see Twilight groan over the fact that the cute quirk of her was used to create a bond between two older brothers. But it also created a platform for a situation I wasn’t exactly prepared for.

“You’re making it sound like you had plenty of worries about your younger sibling,” Cadance pointed with some fascination, and I nodded without hesitation.

“There had been situations where I had to intervene myself because she didn’t take into account some of the risks she took,” I replied curtly. “It was something that stuck since she was old enough to walk around on her own and… I guess that also helped me handle taking care of children when the neighbors needed a hand about it.”

And that was where the alicorn’s interest peaked. Her eyes widened and renewed curiosity at this detail and only now I realized where this was slowly turning into.

“You were a foalsitter too?”

I blamed the nervousness, but I really wanted to facepalm for forgetting that Cadance was Twilight’s babysitt- Foalsitter. I was so into the present to handle this entire conversation that I mostly forgot of this point that actually put us in common grounds.

“For a time, yeah. Just enough to make some money and help family’s friends when they needed someone to watch over their children.”

The princess giggled at that, smiling as she actually seemed to grow intrigued to learn some more about this entire situation. It was clear that, despite the formality, things had slowly escalated in a more informal discussion and… that was actually helpful.

It helped in creating a sense of genuine understanding and trust while also removing any doubt that I might have been a bad guy. Which wasn’t the case and I really didn’t want to say hi to the skittles-flavored purge beam.

“I just had Twilight as a foal to foalsit, but I know it’s quite a big responsibility when you are young,” She pointed out and I nodded.

“I had my own shares of problems early on. If I remember correctly I had to take care of three toddlers as my first babysitting experience and… it was a really loud experience.”

Another giggle, she shook her head in clear amusement. “I guess it was fairly troublesome at first. I remember having trouble with little Twi and… Oh. I’m sorry Twilight, I-I actually forgot about the circumstance itself.”

At this point, the poor unicorn was having a tough time hiding her face away at the sheer embarrassment she was subjected to. Spike was patting her upper back in a gesture of sympathy and it was clear the poor bookworm wasn’t up to receive more of that humiliation.

“Your highness,” Platinum Rush interrupted with a serious tone. “I don’t wish to sound too harsh but perhaps we should return to the standards of this meeting?”

I realized how much I got dragged by the last two topics and I was more than happy to nod in agreement. The rest of the meeting didn’t go for too long as the rest was mostly tied to how both Shining Armor and his wife were going to stay in the nation and serve the functions of Ambassadors for the Equestrian Embassy. I didn’t have any complaints about it, and I was more than happy to sign the papers to solve this sudden issue I was subjected to.

With lunch coming to an end, the rest of the day proceeded smoothly as I started to face a new batch of paperwork to start implementing some reforms I could start introducing to the nation without facing the chances of ruining the situations for the Crystal Pony. Once again, I delved into the matter of education and began signing away a couple of decrees meant to restore schools and carefully select which classes and years fillies and colts were meant to be enlisted in.

I deemed it right to also institute mandatory school until the end of Elementary, just so I could begin quelling the issue that was illiteracy. Too many ponies were unable to take on specific jobs regarding their cutie marks due to the fact they had just recently stopped working for the army and as miners down in the underground crystal caves.

I thought things were going fairly well despite the never-ending tower of paper that kept on piling more than I could shred into it through facing it on a personal level. I had to find the proper ponies to delegate, because I knew if I didn't I was going to die drowning in paper and ink. And that’s not the way Bukharin is going to die.

But what I didn’t know was that the day was far from over and that I would receive a visitor in my dreams. A very interesting and loud one at that.

----------d-d-d-d--------------d-d-d-d--------

I was inside a dark void.

And this was definitely not something I was familiar with, mostly due to the fact I didn’t remember much of my dreams. I wasn’t even sure I dreamed properly due to this matter, so, by the fact that I was here and in a seemingly lucid state, I could only find a reason for this to be the case.

I looked around to try and find the only individual I knew could wander inside others’ dreams, and I saw that a white orb actually existed well above my head. A moon, one from which a figure emerged and began gliding down towards me.

I could only blink at the sight and… soon her hooves softly landed onto my chest, the contact leading to an end to my endless fall as I found myself lying on the floor of an unfamiliar room. The themes were dark-blue and black, with constellations shining from the ceiling.

…

“Princess Luna,” I greeted curtly and the alicorn nodded as she moved away from me.

“Thou are the human, the newest ruler of the Crystal Empire,” She affirmed with a little louder than expected. It was clear that she wasn’t using the Royal Canterlot Voice, but she still had to gain a proper understanding of how quiet she needed to be to not cause disruptions with the way she spoke.

“Yes. I’m King John Bukharin.”

“Greetings,” The pony said and I nodded. “We’re actually surprised that thy dreamworld was so bleak.”

Frowning at her words, I was definitely confused by the fact that had truly been my dreamworld. “I guess that’s what happens when I barely sleep for years.”

“Thou don’t like sleeping?”

The pony tilted her head to the side and… it was purely adorable. She might be way older than me but she sure knew how to unconsciously behave this cute.

“It’s more of a habit after having to go to school early in the morning and… sleeping earlier than many would normally do.”

“Thou should never change thy sleeping schedule to fit work if this hurts thou to this point. Thy dreamworld is in shambles.”

Ouch.

“And it definitely will become a host of nightmares the moment thou will end up sleeping with a heavy mind and consciousness.”

Double ouch.

“Which is why we believe thou require assistance in properly building it in a better shape and form.”

… “Are you offering to-”

“We shall assist thou, but first, of course, we will require to ask thee a couple of questions.”

I could only nod, knowing that if the dream specialist said that it was bad, then it was bad. So I listened and answered any questions she threw at me, curious to see where this endeavor was eventually going to take us both. What I didn’t know was that while at first this turned out to be what she had mentioned, the conversation soon shifted into something completely different rather quickly much to my surprise. It took me ten minutes of talking to her for something interesting and mostly amusing to happen.

“And so Tia was lamenting about the fact we called her greedy for cake. And we just don’t understand why she is so annoyed and angry about this since we know there is nothing wrong in being concerned for our sister’s weight and health.”

I wasn’t exactly sure how it got to this point. How this ‘assistance’ turned in a mutual therapy session for the two of us. I gained more insight over the crappy state of my dreams, and Luna got someone to vent her problems to. Sure, those were minimal problems, but it sure painted her in an interesting light considering her presence was very minimal in early seasons.

“But what you can see as a good way to voice your concern might be easily misunderstood as a clever way to call her fat,” I explained, doing my best to keep a straight face about it. Seriously, this wasn’t what I had expected from my first meeting with Luna and… I was loving it! “If you really believe that it can become a problem, then why not counter this issue by giving your sister something that should allow her to burn the sweets she is known to eat?”

Luna frowned. “Can thou elaborate on that, John?”

First-name basis? Now that was a shocker.

“Since your sister might not be highly-receptive of being told she needs to eat less cake, then why not create an occasion, maybe monthly, that can help her shed some fat by doing activities with you?” I suggested. “You can get it also as a way to spend time with your sister away from work.”

“That could be… troublesome. Mostly because we don’t have anyone to replace our sister during her court sessions, and we know of none that can potentially take that kind of role during a planned absence.”

I nodded, realizing that it was kind of a dumb idea. “Still, I suppose we can try and find a solution to that. Two voices are better than one.”

She agreed with a sigh and a smile… and then she panicked all at once. “We were supposed to instruct thou how to face thy dreamworld and- and we lost ourself in such a troublesome topic.”

“To be fair, I believe you needed to hear a second opinion on that matter, and I can tell you weren’t going to discuss it with anyone else.”

“It’s- it’s not just that. It’s about thy well-being. It is our duty to aid those that require help in their dreams.”

“I’ve been dealing with this for years now, I can wait just a day. And I believe you actually deserve to have some help in genuinely mending the situation with your sister.”

…

“We...We are warmed by thy kindness, but thou shouldn’t hinder your recovery due to our own issues.”

“I thought that’s what friends are supposed to do,” I rebuked and I saw her freeze in realization. Because, while Luna had managed to regain a bit of decorum out of the previous informal moments, that didn’t definitely erase the conversation we just concluded.

“...We are friends. Yes. Thou and We.”

I offered a quick smile and a nod, holding back a chuckle at the Royal English making her little speech fairly amusing despite how broken it sounded in a modern context. “I suppose I should let you resume your patrol of other dreams. I hope I didn’t stop you for long with my own issues.”

She looked annoyed. “None of that. Thou say thou are our friend, and we believe thou deserve to be treated properly as a friend should. It was no problem, just… watch over thyself in the future because we shan’t allow thou to dodge this important healing process.”

“Understood, your highness.”

The alicorn lessened her stance and gave me a curt 'goodbye’ before vanishing through the moon she had created to enter my dream. And as her influence waned, so did my consciousness as I was forced to another ‘dreamless’ night right to the next morning.

Still, progress. I made friends with my fave princess and I was definitely going to enjoy the next nightly sessions.

Author's Note

AN

Kind of short, but I have plans to eventually expand it. Yes, I’ve already expanded the previous chapters between fixing mistakes and adding dialogues to the chapters themselves. Since I’m writing chapters of this story at unholy hours, I tend to take some bits of the free time after posting the chapters to work on fixing any issues and add more to the plot.

And I might end up doing that for this one and the next ones too, yeah.

Also… what is Cadance’s role in this story? She will remain married to Shining Armor. I’ve plans to make both characters fairly interesting despite the lesser positions they are in, especially regarding the common points they share about her, John, and her husband. Lots of feels.

Luna? She adorbs. I promise eternal amusement as she will take active steps to have sisterly moments away from work together with Celestia. And… yeah, Celestia will sure have a ‘blast’ learning that someone else believes she should eat less cake. xD