A Human's Walk Across Equestria

by JadedandDazed

Rating: teen
Tags: Suicide / Self Harm, Adventure, Princess Celestia, Death, Human, Twilight Sparkle, Sad, Main 6, Princess Luna, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 31719

After discovering he will not be able to leave Equestria, Phoenix decides he wants to take a hike across his new home on foot... His new friends decide he's finally lost his mind.

Phoenix came to Equestria two years ago through circumstances unknown. For two years, Phoenix had waited for Princess Celestia and her top scholars to answer one question: Will he be able to go home?

The answer finally came... And it was "No"

His new friends have, surprisingly, found he's taken the news quite well. Very well!... Maybe even too well. However, they never had a reason to doubt Phoenix wasn't doing as great as he said he was. That is, until he tells Twilight Sparkle he wants to explore his new home by walking from Ponyville to the Crystal Empire with no bits, the clothes on his back, and whatever he can fit into his small, makeshift backpack.

Published 2021-02-12 17:20:00 UTC
Last updated 2022-01-02 05:48:24 UTC

[Prologue]When One Door Closes

This is it. The moment of truth.

Seven creatures stood in front of the large, guarded doors that led to Princess Celestia's throne room. The only human, standing in front of the bunch, scratched his chin as he looked up to the top of the doors, examining the ornate construction around it. He had seen these doors a few times before; when he first arrived in Equestria, when he was summoned a few times to share information about himself and his homeworld, and whenever his friends decided to take a trip to Canterlot just to visit.

Speaking of his friends...

He looked down to the six ponies standing just behind him, nervousness and dread painfully readable across their faces. He shook his head, slightly amused. They cared a lot about him, which the human had a hard time understanding. Sure, they were the best friends he had in this new world, but they hardly knew him. He hardly knew them. He didn't think making deep connections in this world was something he should do. If he went back home, that'd make everything just has hard as when he first arrived in Equestria. Leaving behind friends and the life he held dear was already hard the first time, doing it a second isn't an experience he thought he could survive.

Yet still, despite his best efforts to only have superficial relationships, trying not to become emotionally attached, these damn ponies still cared for him. They always had. Though their emotions were as clear as Celestia's light, their thought remained a mystery.

"What is it exactly they're nervous about?" The human thought to himself, "Are they upset that I'll be leaving?... Are they upset I won't be leaving?" The thoughts raced in his mind as he tried to figure out what exactly was racing through theirs, "Maybe... They're nervous for me?" He mentally hit himself for not thinking of that first. Empathy, duh.

The creatures here in Equestria lived and breathed empathy. It was almost hard to believe how deeply people, er, ponies cared for each other. The human learned when he was younger, in school back on Earth, that humans were empathetic creatures. When he grew up and began to see the world, he found that scientific analysis hard to believe. Everywhere he looked back on Earth, empathy was seldom seen.

He tried to be the positive force his old world so badly needed, but the old world quickly broke him down. His ideals of helping others, of being selfless, of seeing the best in everyone were scoffed at, if not down right laughed at. At first, he didn't let that stop him. He volunteered at any charitable organization he could, he joined demonstrations, not only was he invited to be on the board of a few charities, he even founded his own. He started early and manage to do it all before he even graduate college... However, by the age of 24, he came to accept that the world simply didn't have room for empathy and understanding. No one wanted it either. He felt alone in wanting to accept others for their differences and for wanting others to accept him for his differences...

There it was. The flaw in his logic the old world took great pleasure in pointing out: If he wanted something for himself then he wasn't selfless. His goal wasn't to help humanity, it was to help himself. He was just as selfish as everyone else. He wanted others to change so he didn't have to.

The world had beaten him down and didn't stop until he finally agreed that there was no changing anything besides himself... And change he did. He stopped volunteering, he stopped attending demonstrations, he resigned from every charitable organization he held position in, and he stopped hoping for a brighter future. Not that any of that mattered, of course. He could never help enough people when he volunteered, the demonstrations he organized and attended continually grew smaller and smaller in crowd size, the organizations he helped grow could easily replace him with someone who actually knew how to run an organization. Nothing he did changed anything, nothing he did mattered, the only thing he gained were the countless snears, hate mail, and occasional death threats from those against his message.

Then one day, he ended up here. In Equestria.

It took him a bit to get acclimated, he was very suspicious of everyone and everything. Everyone was just so nice! Always willing to help, to be friends... If there is anything the old world taught him is that those who are kind and generous to strangers are only looking for something. Once they get it, they'll throw you out into the dirt. It's happened many times to him before. However, he quickly came to learn that it wasn't only the sciences that didn't apply to this new world. Every painful lesson about reality in the old world seemed to not apply in this land...

This land was exactly what he always dreamed of. It was perfect!... Almost too perfect. He had dedicated his college and work life to learning how to help and better people, including himself. Here in Equestria, there wasn't anything for him to learn or do. There was no big change needed. Somehow, despite being in the land he wished his old world was, he felt even emptier than he did on Earth. All of his life, all of his work, there was no reason for it here. All he's ever said and done has already been said and done by hundreds, if not thousands long before him.

He should be happy right? There's no struggle for him anymore. He's no longer in the seemingly infinite minority. That's good! Right?

Well, while the rules of the old world did not apply here in the new one, the rules still applied to the human. There was nothing for him. There was nothing for him to gain, nothing for him to do besides watch. There was no pride for him to feel about a world so empathetic when he had no part in helping make it.

The old world was right. He was just like everyone else. He only wanted things for himself. He was selfish. Even when out of the grasps of the old world, it still managed to break him down when he thought there was nothing left to break.

So what was better? Going home to place that only wants to break you? Or staying in a land where you have nothing to offer?

Finally shaking himself out of his thoughts, he cleared his throat, causing the six ponies to look up at him, "Well... I don't think this door wants to talk. Looks like we might have to go in."

"Are... Are you okay?" The purple pony asked as she looked at him in concern

"Are you?" The human questioned back

"I'm just... Nervous for you is all, Phoenix," The purple pony said, "W-whatever she says... It's going to affect the rest of your life. Are you sure you want to do this now? W-We can come back later."

"The answer isn't gonna change if we come back later," Phoenix told, "Better to treat it like ripping a band-aid off, right? If we leave we're just going to worry the whole time... It'd probably make it worse,"

"I know..." The purple pony sighed she looked down in shame

"Twilight," Phoenix said, trying to call her to look back at him, "It's okay,"

"H-Hey, I should be the one telling you that!" Twilight forced a laugh

"Yeah!" the light blue Pegasus said, "It's like we're more nervous than you over here!"

"...Are ya even nervous?" The orange pony donning a cowboy hat asked

The human laughed a bit as he rubbed his eyes, "How could I not be, Applejack?... I didn't get any sleep last night."

"You're sure good at hidin' it," she hummed

"Really good..." A yellow pony with a pink mane said in almost a whisper

"Hmm, I think this warrants some experimenting doesn't it?" Twilight asked no one, "We should do some tests now and see why that is!"

"Twi, you're trying to stall," Phoenix said as he put his hands on his hips

"I'm stalling?" Twilight questioned

"Yes." Phoenix responded

"Me? I'm stalling?" Twilight frowned as she tilted her head like a confused puppy

"I know how this game works, Twi," Phoenix snorted as he turned away, "We're going in."

"I don't know, darling," A pure white pony with a deep purple mane called, "We are going to see Princess Celestia of all ponies and I can't help but notice that... You're not dressed properly."

"You're not even dressed. No one here is dressed," Phoenix pointed out, unamused

"Y-yes, but there are different standards for humans, right? Here, let's go shopping for materials and I can make you something perfec-"

"Rarity... I appreciate the gesture, but you can't delay this." Phoenix sighed

"Yeah, what if inside they have a big party prepared just for the announcement!" The pink pony with equally pink hair jumped excitedly, "We don't wanna keep them waiting!"

"That is a possibility," Twilight nodded forcefully, "Perhaps we should create a list of every possible outcome opening these doors could cause,"

Phoenix groaned as he stepped forward, opening the door wordlessly, causing Twilight to jump in surprise as she was half-turned away, getting her parchment and quill ready. She quickly hid her supplies as she rushed to follow the human, the others following behind at a slow pace.

"Phoenix," The Princess greeted with a small smile, "I'm glad to see you,"

Phoenix nodded, scanning the princess's face quickly. There wasn't much to read, but the small smile she had on her face was enough for him. It was forced. Something Phoenix was all too familiar with. He could see clearly from that smile, she'd rather be anywhere else than right here, right now.

"...I don't think you are," Phoenix told bluntly

The princess blinked, surprised that her demeanor was quickly seen through, "I am happy to see you... I suppose I just wish it was under better circumstances"

The six ponies behind Phoenix tensed up at the statement; the room became silent as nopony dared to move a muscle. Phoenix however, seemed to relax at the statement, his hands finding their home in his pockets, "So, I'm guessing that's a no go on the home thing?"

The Princess nodded solemnly, unable to look the human in the eye, "We tried everything, but... Nothing worked. We had to come to the conclusion opening a way back to your home is impossible."

Phoenix only nodded, soaking in the information. He was here forever. He could and would never see his home again. Not his friends, not his family, not anything.

"Please, believe me, we really did try everything. We spent countless days and nights researching and exper-"

"I believe you," Phoenix interrupted, "I know you tried everything. You tried your best... That's all I could ask for and that's all I expected. Thank you, Celestia."

"I... Of course, Phoenix. It's the least I could do," Princess Celestia smiled, this time a genuine one, "Will you be alright? Can I get you anything?"

"I think I'm okay, thank you though," Phoenix told, "Thank you for your time,"

"You're always welcome here, Phoenix," Princess Celestia informed, "Don't be a stranger,"

"I'll try my hardest," Phoenix hummed as he spun on his heels and walk towards the door, the group of ponies once behind him, now in front splitting apart to let him pass.

The group all looked at each other, then to Princess Celestia, then back to each other. Without speaking a word, they quickly walked to follow behind the human, whom had already left the throne room and was standing in the hallway. When they reached the hallway, they looked to Phoenix, who gave them a blank look back. This caused them all to deflate, their heads slouching down to look at the floor in defeat. They almost looked ready to cry. Phoenix, their dear friend, had officially lost his home forever and there was nothing any of them could do about it. The pain and anguish he must be feeling, the anger and depression must be tearing him apar-

"I know I'm pretty obnoxious, but y'all could at least pretend that you're happy to be stuck with me,"

Everyone shot their heads up in surprise, expecting somepony other than Phoenix had just spoken, but when they saw it was in fact him, they became even more surprised. Not only did he just crack a joke after he learned he could never go home, he was smiling. He barely ever smiles when there's something to be happy about!

"W-w-what?" The cyan Pegasus stammered out

"You're... You're not sad?" Twilight asked in complete confusion

"No!" Phoenix smiled wider, "I'm great! Whew, that's so relieving to hear!"

"Relieving?" The white pony asked

"Yeah!" Phoenix smiled, "I don't have to worry anymore if I'm leaving everything behind again or not! I-I can actually start doing things here that can be left behind!"

"You're not sad? Y-you can never go back home!" The orange pony pointed out

"Screw that place," Phoenix laughed as he waved his hand dismissively, "They're probably busy blowing each other up anyways. It's best I didn't go back or I'd get blown up!... Or drafted into the army and then blown up!"

The ponies all stared at the human with shock written across their face. Unsure on how to proceed from this not only out of character outburst, but completely unexpected one.

"So..." The pink pony said as she bounced on her forelegs, "Does this mean I can throw a 'Welcome to Equestria Forever' party?"

Phoenix laughed as he looked to the pony, "Pinkie my Pie, you can 100% throw a 'Welcome to Equestria Forever' party!"

"Yay!!!" Pinkie Pie cheered as she lunged forward and hooked herself around the human's waist in a tight hug. Phoenix leaned over a bit and put a hand on Pinkie Pie's back, returning the hug as best he could while standing.

"Um, Phoenix?" A soft voice called from the remaining group of five ponies

"Fluttershy?" Phoenix smiled to her

"I, uh, I just want to say that I'm happy that you're gonna be with us... sorry if that sounds like I'm happy you can't go home. I'm not, I just mean-"

"I know what you mean," Phoenix laughed as he knelt down, making sure Pinkie Pie didn't get squished into the floor, "C'mere"

Fluttershy smiled as she quickly parted from the group and hugged Phoenix from the side with her forelegs, closing her eyes with a smile as she rested her head on his chest.

The Cyan Pegasus chuckled a bit as she flew over, ruffling his hair with one hoof while her other foreleg wrapped around the back of his neck, "This guy," she laughed, "You're just full of surprises, huh?" Phoenix laughed as well as he leaned in, touching the side of his head to hers.

The remaining three all glanced to each other in shock and confusion, had everyone lost their mind and they were the only sane ones left? Or were they the crazy ones? He's stuck here! Forever! He can never go back home, he can never see his friends or family. The 24 years he spent there is gone!... They're not the crazy ones, right?

Twilight looked at her two remaining sane friends, then to the hug pile happening in front of them. She slowly approached as if the group before her would suddenly attack if startled. "Phoenix?" Twilight called, clear concern in her voice

"Twily?" Phoenix cooed with a smile

"You're not just putting on a show for us, right? You're actually happy?" Twilight asked as she stood in front of the kneeling human, trying her best to look over Pinkie Pie's mane

"Mhm," Phoenix nodded, "Get in here~"

Twilight couldn't help but smile. He's happy. He's actually happy. In the two years she's known him, he rarely ever shown his emotion. Yet when presented with what should be one of the worst news of his life, he finally smiled. His emotional dam had broken and only joy was pouring out. It was hard to believe that the stoic human that entered the throne room had left a bundle of giddiness. Yet here he was, almost like he was a new human. How could she not join in on the hug party?

"Ah reckon that's that then," Applejack laughed a bit as she shook her head, striding to the human's side and putting of hoof on his leg.

"Yes, I suppose it is," Rarity hummed as she soon followed suit, walking close to his side with a smile.

Phoenix smiled wider and closed his eyes. Surrounded by his friends who were all here to help him navigate this new life of his. He couldn't help but smile. He couldn't help but feel as if there was finally something to look forward to.

Author's Note

Hi there! I'm new to the fandom. My GF just got me into it. I've read a lot of human stories on here and wanted to take a crack at an idea I had bouncing around my head. Let me know what you think!

It's my first MLP stories so try not to hurt my feelings too bad!

Chapter 1: A Mad Man with a Plan

Map? Check.
Compass? Check.
Water Bottle? Check.
Apples and Trail Mix? Check.
Paper and something to write with? Check.
Cozy blanket? Check.
Small decorative pillow that's super uncomfortable but better than nothing? Check.

"What am I missing?" Phoenix asked himself as he looked up to his ceiling as if it would split in half, revealing the sky with angels descending to present him what he needed, "Hmm..."

A thought came to him, causing him to quickly feel his forehead and cheeks.

Head? Not left in another room and still attached to his body.

"Then what is it?" Phoenix frowned as he rummaged through his bag he made from cloth donated by Rarity and twine donated by Applejack, "Compass? No, got that. Emergency note? Nope, that's there... Map? No got that... Wait... Map... Twilight's Map! That's it!" He exclaimed as he ran to a different room in his house. He entered the room he called his office and saw a large map sprawled out on his desk. On the map was his writings and drawings. He quickly folded up the map and headed back to his living room. He took his bag and swung it onto his shoulders, stretching them experimentally to test the new weight. Once he was satisfied with the bag's position, he left his house.

Phoenix had decided he wanted to go on a little walking tour of his new home. He knew that if he didn't tell Twilight where, when, and why he was going, she'd have a conniption, so he made a copy of his trail that she could have. It'd also probably help should something happen, she'd know where to look. Phoenix quickly made his way toward Twilight's Castle; he was already behind schedule trying to remember what he forgot, he didn't want to waste anymore time. Luckily, the castle wasn't too far from his own home. She had offered for him to stay in her castle, but he didn't like that idea. He always wanted to own a house. To be responsible. So Twilight had one built, and it just happened that a lot of land near her castle was vacant.

"Oh, Phoenix!" Twilight Sparkle smiled as the familiar human approached her. She had just taken a step outside to begin her errands, but it seems they would have to wait.

"Hey, Twilight!" Phoenix smiled, holding the folded paper in his hands, "So... Remember how I said I wanted to see Equestria and all that jazz?"

"Mhm, I remember," Twilight nodded, "Did you come up with an idea?"

Phoenix smiled proudly as he tugged on the bag hanging off his shoulders, "I did! I'm gonna go hike and see what I can see! I was actually just here to drop of a copy of the route I'm gonna take and let you know that I'll probably be gone for a few days," he said as he held out the folded paper to Twilight.

"Ooh, a hike. That sounds very adventurous!" Twilight smiled as she took the paper in her magic grasp, "Who are you going with?"

"Oh, I'm going alone," Phoenix said, "I kinda thought this whole thing would be better as a story to tell... Something only I experienced,"

Twilight looked at him with a hint of concern, but nodded, "I can understand that," she assured as she unfurled the paper. Once it was completely unfolded, she was surprised by how big it was... And even more surprised of what it was a map of, "Uh, Phoenix?"

"Mhm?"

Twilight looked at him and then back to the map, hoping she was just imagining things, but unfortunately, she was not, "This is a map of all of Equestria"

"That it is"

Twilight's look of slight concerned transformed into a look of horror, she glanced back down at the map, scanning the path Phoenix had drawn on, stopping at the locations he circled then continuing to follow the twisting line. It started at Ponyville and then went up... and up... and up... Until it reached... "The Crystal Empire?!" Twilight exclaimed, "You want to walk all the way from Ponyvile to the Crystal Empire?!"

"With stops along the way," Phoenix nodded, "I figured I'd stop first in Canterlot, say hi to Celestia and Luna, then head East and hit up Baltimor- Pardon me, Baltimare. After that head North to Fillydelphia, then Manehattan. Then from Manehattan I'd go see Neighgra Falls. After the falls, I head through the Crystal Mountains and finish at the Crystal Empire."

Twilight stared at the human as if he had sprouted four new heads. She was completely stunned by the sheer scale and... Unreasonableness of his plan, "And you plan to do this exclusively on hoof?"

"Yup"

"By yourself?"

"Correct"

"What if you get to one of your destinations and all the inns are full? Where are you going to stay?" Twilight frowned

"Oh, I'm not staying at any inns," Phoenix waved

"Pardon?"

"I've got a warm blanket and a small pillow in here," Phoenix said as he gestured to the bag on his shoulders

Twilight continued to stare at Phoenix in shock. She couldn't even begin to wrap her mind what this strange, bipedal creatures was thinking. She's seen and heard plenty of awful and stupid ideas in her life, but this took the cake, "Phoenix... Do you know how long this would take just walking? It'd be more than just a few days!"

"I know," Phoenix laughed, "But if I approached you and said I'd be gone for a couple weeks you'd be all worried,"

"You didn't and I still am!" Twilight retorted

"Twi, it's okay. I'm a grown up. I can handle myself well," Phoenix assured

Twilight looked at the human before a sudden realization hit her, "Oh my stars..." She mumbled as she glanced the human up and down, "...You've gone insane."

"Twi," Phoenix laughed as he tried to assure her

"I-I should've known this was going to happen," She said as she began to pace on a short path, "The signs were all there! Y-you experienced a tremendous traumatic event when Princess Celestia told you couldn't go home and we never addressed it! The inappropriate happiness when you were given devastating news. The constant jokes weren't just you being happy, it was a coping mechanism!"

Phoenix interrupted her ramblings as he knelt down and hugged the pony, stroking her back as he shushed her, "Twilight. I'm fine. I promise... That's just what I used to be like... That's what I am now." Phoenix parted the hug and stood up, smiling towards Twilight, "I get you're worried about me, but I promise I can take care of myself."

Twilight shook her head as she stamped a hoof on the ground defiantly, "Phoenix, this is incredibly dangerous! E-Especially alone! You could get hurt! Really hurt!"

Phoenix laughed a bit as he waved his hand in front of his face, "I'll be fine, Twilight. I promise. I'm gonna write to you every time I get to town and let you know how I'm doing."

"What about after you leave Manehattan?" Twilight frowned, "There isn't going to be anywhere for you to send a letter!"

Phoenix shrugged a bit as he began to make his way away from the worried pony and to the path where his journey would begin, "I'll still write, but I guess I'll send them when I get to the Crystal Empire."

"That defeats the purpose of the letters! To tell me you're okay as soon as possible!" Twilight reasoned

Phoenix stopped in his tracks and tilted his head up a bit, clearly in thought. Twilight sighed in relief. It looks like she finally got through to him.

"I guess I'll just have to shout my letters really loud and hope you hear me,"

"Phoenix!" Twilight gasped in disapproval

"Twily, it'll be fine. Think of all the fun stories I'll be able to tell," Phoenix smiled, "Listen, I really need to start heading out. I want to make some real headway before it gets dark out."

Twilight could only stand in shock as the human began to walk away. She failed. She failed to convince him this plan was insane. That it was dangerous. That he might... Wait. That's it. Maybe he just... Hasn't realized that he might be worse than hurt or injured. She needed to tell him. He must have forgotten!

"Phoenix! Wait!" She called. The human had already created a considerable amount of distance between the two, if he walked any further he'd disappear from her sight among the many hills and trees. He stopped and turned to her direction, just barely able to make her out "Y-You!... Y-you could die!"

"You can only hope! I'd finally be out of your hair!" Phoenix called back with a laugh, turning back to his path and continuing his walk.

Twilight's eyes widened. Her last straw, her secret weapon... It had failed. Not only did it fail, he laughed it off...

"THAT'S NOT FUNNY!" Twilight shouted at the disappearing human

"I love you too, Twilight!" The human shouted back as he disappeared out of sight.

"Ugh!" Twilight grunted as she turned around and entered her castle, the errands would really have to wait this time. She had a letter she needed to write.

"Oh." Princess Celestia said in surprise as she shared a cup of tea with her sister. A letter from Twilight had just appeared and landed on the table she was sitting at, "It seems Twilight has something urgent to tell me..."

"Please, sister. Do not let me stop you from reading such important mail," Luna said as she sipped her own tea

Celestia nodded as she unraveled the letter in her magic, bringing it to her face to read. Her previous expressionless face turned into one of confusion. She quickly scanned over the letter again, convinced she had missed something.

"Is there something wrong?" Luna asked

"It's Phoenix... He's..." Celestia trailed off, unsure how to describe what she had just read.

Luna took the letter for herself, reading it quickly before nodding, "I see..."

"What... Am I missing something?" Celestia frowned, "What does this mean?"

Luna hummed as she set the letter down, taking a sip of her tea before she spoke, "He's lost something."

Celestia nodded, she agreed with her sister, "He did indeed lose something. He lost his home, his friends, his family. Perhaps this was his way of 'finding' himself in a new world. He'll journey through Equestria and soon find him-"

"He's lost his mind," Luna finished, "I don't think there's a deep meaning behind this, Sister."

"Oh," Celestia deflated. She thought she had quite a poetic thing going, too.

Chapter 2: A Human's New Clothes

"He's doin' what now?" Applejack asked as a flustered and clearly upset Twilight stood in front of her.

"He's walking from Ponyville to the Crystal Empire," Twilight repeated, annoyance dripping in her voice, "He left a few hours ago... He didn't tell you anything?"

"He hadn't said a word about anything to me," Applejack told, "You know how he is. He won't tell you nothing unless you ask all direct,"

Twilight sighed as she looked down at the ground, her ears folding against her head, "I just... I don't get why he wouldn't listen to me about how dangerous this is. He always listens to me!"

Applejack leaned on her cart, giving a small shrug, "Ah certainly don't have a clue what's running through his mind... Maybe ask Fluttershy, I know those two go on walks sometimes."

"They do?" Twilight frowned, "I never heard about that!"

Applejack nodded as she looked around the plaza the two were standing in, many other ponies visiting the numerous stands situated around, "Ah've seen 'em walking around when I'm packing up. They usually go out late though. Like when nopony's round."

"Huh..." Twilight pondered as she gently ran her right front hoof across the ground, "I'll go ask Fluttershy then. Thanks, AJ."

"'Course, Twilight. Anytime," Applejack said as she trotted back behind her cart.

Twilight sighed as she turned from Applejack and began the quick trek to Fluttershy's cottage. While she walked, she couldn't help but dwell on the fact those two went on walks and she never knew. Phoenix never asked her out for walks, she never knew he even liked going on walks. She would go on walks with him if he asked! Why does he ask Fluttershy and not her?...

A small blush crept across Twilight's face as the thoughts ran through her mind. She was jealous and she didn't know why. Phoenix and Fluttershy going on walks was nothing to be jealous of... If she asked Phoenix, he'd certainly agree to go on a walk with her, right? The two could talk the day away, she talking about all the new subjects she learned that day and books she read, he could talk about his past, tell her funny moments he remembered, his favorite memories, what his old world was like in detail... Maybe even-

Twilight quickly shook herself out of her deep thoughts as she realized she was in front of Fluttershy's cottage. Taking a breath, she knocked on the door. After a few seconds, the door peeked upon a bit as the shy mare looked outside at who was knocking, opening it up all the way when she saw her purple friend, "Twilight! It's great to see you!"

"Great to see you too, Fluttershy," Twilight smiled, "I-I have a few questions I'd like to ask if you're not busy,"

"Oh, not at all. Please, come in," Fluttershy smiled politely as she stepped aside and cleared the doorway

"Thank you, this shouldn't be too long," Twilight assured as she walked inside

"So, what is it you wanted to ask?" Fluttershy asked as she closed the door

"Did Phoenix every mention anything to you about walking across Equestria?" Twilight asked

Fluttershy gave Twilight a confused looks as she blinked before slowly shaking her head, "No, he's never mentioned anything about that... Why?"

"Well," Twilight sighed, "I bumped into him a few hours ago and he said he was going on a hike... He gave me a map and said he was walking all the way to the Crystal Empire!"

"Oh my goodness!" Fluttershy gasped, "The Crystal Empire? That's awfully far."

"I know... I tried to talk him out of it, but he wasn't hearing any of it!" Twilight told, "Applejack told me that sometimes you two went on walks together, so I thought maybe he said something to you."

"No, I'm sorry," Fluttershy shook her head, "He... Doesn't really speak much on our walks."

Twilight looked up curiously, "He doesn't?"

Fluttershy shook her head again, "No, he's as quiet as a mouse. He usually just asks me questions or we walk not saying anything."

Twilight frowned at what her friend said. She would think that they would talk, that he'd open up to her. What was the point of walking together then?

"Why did you start walking together?" Twilight asked

"Well," Fluttershy said as she looked up, reaching into her memories, "We only started a few weeks ago... It was very late at night when I saw him walk by my window... It looked like he was heading towards the Everfree Forest. I went outside and asked what he was doing all the way out here and he said he was going on a walk to clear his head so I asked if I could join him."

Twilight nodded, "I see... I'm guessing you two didn't talk during this walk?"

Fluttershy shook her head, "No, not much. But it was nice... It was very calm and relaxing outside, so the quiet didn't feel awkward."

"So, after that you and Phoenix would go on walks?" Twilight asked

"Mhm," Fluttershy nodded, "He'd come and knock on my door and ask if I wanted to go on a walk, then we'd go."

Twilight frowned a bit as she looked down, rubbing her hoof against her chin, "That's... Interesting. Did anything ever seem... Odd on those walks?"

"Well... On the first walk, he was acting a little weird," Fluttershy admitted

"How so?"

"He seemed... I'm not sure how to put it... Like he was scared and sad at the same time," Fluttershy said, "I think he was feeling really lonely because when he got back to his house he asked me to stay the night... He said he didn't think he should be alone at the time. You'd think he would've told you about that. He tells you everything,"

"I know!" Twilight said in exasperation, "That's what I find so odd. He's never said anything about what you said to me... He's never said he didn't want to be alone. He never asked me to stay over... Or to stay over with me. I... I don't know what this all means."

"Me neither," Fluttershy said, "I'm sorry I couldn't be of more help."

"It's okay, Fluttershy," Twilight smiled, "You've given me a lot of good information,"

Phoenix stopped as he approached a paved path. Tugging at his bag, he looked up at the night sky; it was as gorgeous as ever. Part of him wanted to stop now and simply lay down and stare at the stars as he had done many times in Equestria before, but another part of him knew that if he laid down, he wouldn't be getting back up until morning. Canterlot, his first destination, was only twenty minutes away. A twenty minute uphill, well more like upmountain, walk. He could stop here and sleep then continue the walk in the morning... No, that'd be too easy. Besides, it's more impressive of a story if he can say that he walked from Ponyville to Canterlot in one day. Trains usually take hours to get there, so the fact he walked there in just hours as well would be a story to tell!

With renewed confidence, a determined look and quick slap across the face, Phoenix began to walk up the path. At first, it wasn't too bad, but as he made it further up the mountain, his stamina quickly began to leave him. Each step and breath became labored and his back began to ache. Phoenix refused to stop and take a breath, however. He clenched his teeth and continued to push up the mountain

"Why didn't Twilight tell me this was a bad idea?" Phoenix groaned as his steps became less controlled. It had felt like he had been walking for hours, but just by looking behind, he could tell it wasn't nearly as long as he thought it was... Based on the distance between the beginning of the path and where he was now, it was more like five minutes. Though, the view from where he was almost made him forget about the burning pain in his legs... Almost.

From here, he had a clear view of Canterlot Castle. Though he had never said it, he thought it was gorgeous. Back on Earth, he had seen his fair share of castles and palaces as he took business trips, stopping to sight see when his business was finished, and he was never a big fan of them. This castle, however, was different, the landscape around it certainly added to the appeal. The rivers and falls around the construction took the sight from pretty to breathtaking. He couldn't help but smile at the sight; he's most likely the first and only human to see such a beautiful sight. Watching the castle and the beautiful landscape around it, the tedious walk seemed to move by quicker, the pain his whole body felt became less.

When Phoenix finally broke his gaze from the side of the mountain he realized the top was in sight. Filled with a sense of joy, he took a deep breath in and began to run. When he finally reached the top, he threw both his hands up in victory, jumping on the balls of his feet as he turned to look at the path he just walked. His Rocky-esque victory moment, however, was quickly interrupted by the sound of someone clearing their throat.

"Mr. Phoenix?"

Phoenix quickly turned back around to meet the voice, seeing a grey Pegasus suited in armor standing there, "Y-yes?"

"Princess Celestia sent me to escort you to the castle," The guard informed

"How'd she know I was here already?" Phoenix frowned

"She... Saw you walking up the mountain," The guard told

"Oh... Guess I should've waved," Phoenix laughed, "Lead the way, my good sir,"

"Sister? I thought you were retiring for the night," Luna said as she spotted her sister roam the halls. Night Court had begun and Celestia had informed her sister of her intentions to go to her private chambers and open a good book with a cup of tea.

"Yes, well... You wouldn't guess who I saw trudging up the mountain," Celestia laughed a bit

Luna blinked, confused on what she meant before it finally hit her, "He's already here?"

"It appears so, it was hard to be certain, but I'm certain that the silhouette had to be his, it's certainly unique," Celestia said, "I've sent a guard to meet him. I'm sure he must be tired, hungry, and... Probably dirty, so I was heading to make sure all those needs would be tended it."

"I see..." Luna nodded, "Well, when he arrives please let me know, I'd be very interested in speaking with him,"

"I'll be sure to do tha-" Celestia began, but was interrupted as the sound of two beings walking filled the hall. One was the familiar sound of hooves on marble, the other was a much softer and foreign sound, "...That was fast."

"Princess Celestia, I've brought the human," A voice said.

The two Princesses turned toward the voice. There stood two beings, one the Pegasus guard Celestia had sent to meet the human. The other was the smiling, sweaty human himself.

"I see," Celestia smiled, "Thank you, that will be all."

The guard saluted before turning and walking off, leaving just the Human and the two Alicorns together.

"Princess Celestia. Princess Luna," The human bowed with a small smile.

"...I'm sorry?" Luna frowned, taken aback by his formality, "Since when did you begin calling us Princess?"

"...Am I not supposed to?" Phoenix asked as he straightened back up

"It's not that you're not supposed to," Celestia said, "It's just... In the nearly two and a half years you've been here you've never called us by our titles."

"Well, figured now that I'm a permanent resident, I should probably start... Unless you don't want me to."

"At this point it feels about odd to hear you say it," Celestia admitted

"Just Celestia and Luna it is then," Phoenix laughed, "So, why may I ask was I so suddenly summoned?"

Celestia laughed a bit, "You think you can just come to Canterlot and we wouldn't welcome you?"

"I suppose it was a bit naïve of me to think so," Phoenix smiled, "I'm guessing you two know why I'm here in the first place?"

"Yes, we do," Celestia nodded, "Please, come with me. I was just going to get your accommodations set up."

"Thank you, but you really don't have to," Phoenix assured

"I know, but I'm still going to," Celestia hummed, "Come along, now."

"Whatever you say," Phoenix laughed as he followed next to the princess, flanked by her sister on his other side

"Phoenix, if you could humor us for a moment. My sister and I are having a bit of a debate," Luna said as she glanced to Celestia

"...I didn't study for this test," Phoenix said

"My, you really do spend a lot of time with Twilight, don't you?" Celestia laughed, "It's not that kind of debate... We wanted to know more about your... Walk... Besides sightseeing like you said, is there a deeper meaning behind it?"

Phoenix fell silent as he tried to think about how to approach his answer, "...Have you ever heard the story of the Emperor's New Clothes?"

"I can't say I have. Have you?" Celestia asked as she looked to Luna, who shook her head.

"Well, it's about this emperor who's just obsessed with fashion. He spent nearly 20% of the empire's treasury on clothing. He just had to have the most beautiful and fashionable clothes," Phoenix told, "One day, the emperor was approached by two travelers who said they wanted to make clothes for him, but not just any clothes. These clothes would be so beautiful, so gorgeous and fashionable that only those smart enough to understand its beauty would be able to see it and that stupid people wouldn't see anything. The emperor immediately agreed, willing to pay whatever these two travelers wanted. The travelers and the emperor agreed on a price and on one condition. That he wasn't allowed to see them making the clothes."

"What exactly does this has to do about our question?" Luna asked

"Hold on, I'm getting there," Phoenix smiled, "So, the two travelers got to work. They went into the basement and setup looms and sewing stations and everything they needed to get started... However, these two travelers weren't fashion designers or semesters. They were scam artists. They never actually intended to make any clothes, but they knew that the emperor would most likely send guards out so they would stand at their stations and pretend to work. When the guards came down to check on them, they saw the two working, but didn't see any string or cloth or anything be used. So guess what happened when the guards went back to the emperor to tell them how his amazing clothes were coming along?"

"I'm assuming they told the emperor they saw nothing," Celestia said

"Well, you know what they say about assuming," Phoenix laughed, "You make an ass out of you and me... Heh, get it? Ass? U? Me?"

Celestia laughed as she rolled her eyes, "Yes, I get it..."

"Anyways, you're wrong," Phoenix said, "They went and told the emperor that the clothes looked amazing! The those two travelers really were fashion geniuses... So the emperor would send different guards down and they would come back with the same thing. The clothes were gorgeous."

"Why would they do that if they couldn't see the clothes?" Luna frowned

"Well, let me tell the rest of the story and maybe you'll get it," Phoenix said, "Three days later, the travelers emerged and said the clothes were done. They went to the emperor, pretending to be holding this elaborate clothing, and put it on display... The emperor looked and said that they were the most gorgeous clothing he had ever seen in his life. So good in fact, he want the entire empire to see it. So he scheduled a parade where he would be carried through his empire wearing the clothes to show them off. When the day comes, the travelers dress the emperor and send him on his way to the parade. When he goes to the streets, proudly wearing his new clothes, he's immediately met with cheers and applause. Everyone loves his new clothing... That is until a small child shouts out 'The Emperor has no clothes' and the crowd goes silent."

"Well, the child is right, aren't they? The emperor doesn't have clothes!" Celestia said

"They are!... And people start realize that they're right. The reason they're not seeing the Emperor's clothes isn't because they're not smart enough to see the clothes. They're not seeing the clothes because they don't exist." Phoenix said with a small smile

"I see," Celestia nods, "...I suppose that answers our question."

"I told you~" Luna hummed, her head held high.

"So, Phoenix," Celestia hummed as she watched the human devour the food she had the chefs make for him

Phoenix looked up to the Princess and blushed a bit, wiping his mouth his a napkin and swallowing, "Yes?"

"I've come to realize that despite our numerous talks over your stay... I don't actually know that much about you," Celestia said

"Yes... That was kinda on purpose," Phoenix admitted as he scratched his head.

"Oh?" Celestia frowned

"W-Well, it's just that... When I first realized I'd be here for a while and that I might be going home, I... I didn't really wanna make any connections. I thought the more people knew about me, the more attached I'd get to them and if I was gonna leave... I didn't want that. But now I'm here forever, so! I'm not hiding anything anymore," Phoenix said, "Had something you wanted to ask?"

Celestia's smile returned to her face as she nodded, "Yes, you often said a lot about your old world, but... Never really said anything meaningful about it. I was wondering if you could tell us more about it, if that doesn't make you uncomfortable."

"Not at all," Phoenix assured, "Where do I even begin?... How about with a question, how many ponies are in Equestria?"

"According to our last census, somewhere around 40 million," Celestia told

"Really? Huh, I thought it'd be more," Phoenix said, "Let's put my world into context. You've got 40 million here... We've got over 7 billion humans on Earth."

"Billion?!" Luna gasped in shock

"Mhm, of those 7 billion, 150 million are homeless, 1.6 billion don't have adequate shelter," Phoenix said, "736 million live below the poverty line. 690 million people don't know if they'll be able to eat from day to day. One person commits suicide every 40 seconds. When I left Earth and came here, there were 16 different wars going on... We've had a war where the death toll near doubled the population of Equestria... Does that paint a good enough picture?"

The room fell dead silent as Phoenix leaned back in his seat and lightly tapped on the table. He shook his head and sighed, "Sorry, I got myself a little worked up there."

"That's... A lot to take in," Luna said as she took a deep breath

"Tell me about it," Phoenix mumbled, "The worst part of all of that?... You tell a person on Earth those numbers and they won't care. At all."

"...Why do you know those numbers?" Celestia asked

Phoenix laughed a bit as he took another bite of his food and swallowed, "Back on Earth, I ran a charity... Worked on a few others along with some interest groups... When you work with so many different organizations you gotta remember all that stuff."

"Oh, is that what you meant when you told us you helped run organizations?" Celestia asked, "Despite... How awful it sounds to live in such a world where those statics are reality, I think it's very commendable that you worked to ease the suffering of your fellow humans."

"Yeah," Phoenix sighed as he looked down, "If only any of it actually mattered..."

Celestia frowned at the dejected human as he forced a smile, "Are you alright?"

"I am now," He said, meeting her gaze, "I'm here now. I'm in a world where that's not reality. It's the world I wished I could help make Earth like."

"What do you mean 'if only any of it mattered?'" Luna asked, "It sounds like you worked tirelessly"

"I did," Phoenix nodded, "But it never really did anything. For some reason, anything I did was like trying to fill up a dried up ocean by spitting in a pit. Nothing ever changed... The only thing I learned was the people who I thought wanted the same thing as me didn't actually care... They just wanted the money and the fame... They were willing to abandon ship any time things got tough... I don't blame them really. The amount of hate we got for our work was overwhelming"

"You got hate?... For doing charity?" Celestia frowned

"You'd be surprised just how much humans hate others they don't even know..." Phoenix said, "They're not like ponies... Or at least most ponies."

"Phoenix, I'm... I'm so sorry," Celestia said

"Don't be. You didn't make Earth a hellscape," Phoenix waved off, a smile taking his face, "Besides, it wasn't a complete waste. I learned a lot of things. I learned how to work with people. I learned how to speak in public and to reporters. I learned how to write well. I learned how to read people. That's something I still do a lot."

"Ah, is that how you always manage to tell what people are feeling?" Celestia asked, "I first noticed it when... When I gave you the news. You saw right through my smile,"

Phoenix nodded as he took a quick sip of water, "Mhm, exactly. I could tell the smile was fake because when someone forces a smile, your face starts having a tiny little battle with itself. The smile is trying its hardest to run away while you try to keep it in place. That causes a little twitching around the lips."

"Really? I've never noticed," Celestia said, "That's very interesting."

"Reading ponies is pretty easy in my experience. You've all got those big, big eyes which make every little movement obvious," Phoenix laughed a bit, "It's almost hard not to notice."

"I suppose you'll have to teach me those tricks one day," Celestia smiled

"It'd be my pleasure," Phoenix smiled back, "Oh! Before I forget, can I ask a quick favor? I have a letter I wrote Twilight and I was wondering if you could, y'know, magic it to her."

"I'd be more than happy to," Celestia assured as Phoenix dug around in his bag

"Here," Phoenix mumbled as he took out a few sheet of paper and opened it. As he scanned it, he quickly blushed as he folded the papers back up and laughed nervously, "W-wrong letter..." He quickly put it back in his bag and fished out another pile of folded sheets, "This is the right one."

"I'll send it right away," Celestia assured as she took the letter in her magic.

Luna glanced suspiciously at the human. His breath seemed to have quickened and his cheeks had turned read. Whatever letter he almost gave to Celestia certainly scared him, "Would you mind if I asked what flustered you so badly about the other letter you just put away?"

"I would," Phoenix said

"Pardon?" Luna frowned

"I would mind if you asked," Phoenix said as he cleared his throat nervously, "Sorry, I don't mean to be rude... It's just something personal."

"I see..." Luna nodded. The room remained silent for a moment before Luna stood up and headed towards the door, "Well, it's been a pleasure catching up, but I must return to my duties. Celestia, Phoenix. I wish you both a good night,"

"Thank you, Luna," Phoenix smiled, "Again, sorry about what I-"

"You don't have to apologize," Luna interrupted, "I shouldn't have intruded."

Dear Twilight,

Hey, it's me. You know, the weird monkey thing named after a magic bird. I've been walking for a few hours now. I just sat down for a little break and I figured I'd get a head start on my first letter. I was thinking about when we last talked. When I made the joke about you wishing I was dead and you screamed it wasn't funny. I just kind of realized that you probably weren't joking when you said that... Listen, I never said I was smart. I want to say I'm sorry about that. I know you care about me and don't want me to get hurt, but this is something I just have to do... Don't ask me why. I do want you to know that I do love you. You're my closest and best friend in this world. I hope you can forgive me... I guess I'll find out when this little adventure of mine is over.

Anyways, onto how this adventure is going: Good. I've actually made some good headway, I'm guessing I can make it to Canterlot sometimes this night! That is if I don't spend too long on this break. Surprisingly, I'm not really tired despite walking for hours... It's actually pretty invigorating. Let's hope I can keep this energy up for the whole trip because I'll need it! Kinda regretting the no inn rule I made, but oh well. I made my proverbial bed and now I've got to sleep in it. I emphasis proverbial as I won't have a bed this whole time... You probably didn't need that explanation, but you know me. That's kinda scary, actually... Out of everypony, you know the most about me... And I've barley told you anything. We'll have to change that when I get back. I hope everything's doing well back home. Tell everyone I say hi!... and that I'm sorry for not saying goodbye, I kinda figured if I went to everyonepony and told them what I was doing that they'd all try and stop me.

Wow, I'm really annoying, aren't I? I'll never understand how or why you put up with me.

Thinking of you always,
Phoenix

Chapter 3: Old Habits

Phoenix looked around the dark and starry landscape he appeared to somehow be standing in despite the lack of a floor. This place wasn't new to him, however, as he had been here a few times before. This time was different though. He never just appeared in this place. Every other time, he was having a nightmare, before whatever dream monster could get to him, he was whisked away to this place. There he would meet with the princess of the night who would help calm him down. This time, he didn't even remember dreaming in the first place. For whatever reason, Luna had decided to intercept his dreamscape before he could even see it. Phoenix tapped his foot as he again looked around, looking for Luna to make her appearance, but he seemed to be alone.

"Uh, hello?" Phoenix called out, "I only left two days ago, did you really miss me that much?"

"For someone on such a long and strenuous journey..." A familiar voice echoed as the stars began to move, taking form into a familiar pony, "You go to sleep very, very late," The pony said as she made her first steps as a tangible being.

Phoenix laughed as Luna's little show finally ended and the pony trotted up to him, taking a bit more of his personal space than he was comfortable with. Though he wanted to take a small step back, the small smirk on the princess's face told him that making him uncomfortable was her goal, and he was not about to give her that satisfaction, "Well, how am I supposed to go to sleep when you make the night sky so god damn beautiful?" Phoenix said with a smirk of his own.

"I-I'm sorry?" Luna asked as the smirk ran away from her face and a blush crept across her face

"You make such a gorgeous work of art and you expect me to just go to sleep?" Phoenix laughed, "Do you really think I'm that much of a philistine?"

Luna's blush grew as she stared at the human as if she was waiting for him to either say he was joking or for him profess his undying love. However, as the smug look on his face grew, the princess began to realize what he was after. She took a small step back as she let out a small laugh, "Fine, fine, you win this round, Phoenix. You truly had me going there for a moment."

"Hmm?" Phoenix hummed, the smirk turning to a genuine smile, "What, you think I'm joking?"

"Either you're joking or something is horribly wrong," Luna said with a knowing smile

Phoenix sighed, his smile still on his face as he shook his head, "I really can't compliment you without it being a joke?"

Luna froze in place as her smile once again ran from her face, "I-"

"I mean, I guess I was a bit aggressive with it," Phoenix said as he scratched his chin, "But I feel like that's par for the course with me, yeah?"

Luna shook her head, "I'm sorry, it's just... I'm not used to compliments like that... Especially coming from you."

Phoenix's smile finally faded into a confused frown, "What do you mean 'especially coming from me?'"

"Well, you're a stallion of few words, couple that to your more stoic nature, your compliments are few and far between... finding sincerity from the few you do give has never been easy, especially with your sense of humor," Luna explained

Phoenix nodded as he listened to the princess spoke. Though her words certainly hurt him, he wasn't upset with her. She was telling the truth. He had never been very good at handling his emotions, let alone showing them. While this always troubled him personally, he never realized that it affected others so badly too.

"I'm sorry..." Phoenix mumbled as he looked to his feet.

Luna frowned as she looked the human up and down. His happy and playful aura from before had quickly disappeared and been replaced with one of sadness and guilt, "There's nothing to be sorry about, Phoenix. There are just some ponies out there who have a hard time expressing themselves... I just didn't expect such a sudden change from you. You're typically very... unemotional. I suppose it is simply taking more time for me to adjust to this new attitude of yours.

"Yeah, I guess..." Phoenix said as he tried to look anywhere besides at Luna, "So, did you just come to tell me to go to sleep earlier or is there something else?"

"Phoenix, I apologize, I really did not mean to offend you," Luna said as she stepped forward

"I know, Luna," Phoenix said, "I just feel bad is all."

"Phoenix," Luna smiled as she approached, putting a hoof on him reassuringly, "There is nothing to feel bad about. I promise you."

Phoenix took a deep breath as he looked down at the pony, a smile crossing his face, "Thank you, Luna."

"You're very... welcome..." Luna trailed off as she spoke. She began with a smile, but it quickly faded away as she just barely noticed that corners of Phoenix's lips twitching.

Twilight had been reading over the letter Phoenix had sent her. Based on the fact that it came from Spike's breath, she could tell immediately Princess Celestia had sent it over herself. The worry she felt all day eased a bit knowing he was in good hooves. The contents of the letter, however, brought her new worries, she just didn't know why. It certainly seemed like a positive letter, it read positively despite the deprecating humor which Phoenix was certainly known forever. Yet, despite his humor being apparent in the letter, it didn't read like something Phoenix would write. She couldn't quite place her hoof on why it felt like that, though. Determined to find out why, she read the letter over again... And again... And again. She wasn't exactly sure what she was looking for; a hidden message, a puzzle, maybe even a riddle, but she was determined to find something. There had to be something deeper about this letter, she just felt it. So engrossed in the letter, she didn't notice her friend Rarity standing in front of her, trying to get her attention. Nothing seemed to work until Twilight felt a hoof on her shoulder.

"AH!" Twilight jumped in surprise, turning around to face the white mare, "Rarity?! Why would you sneak up on me like that?"

"Darling, I'd been calling your name right in front of you for minutes," Rarity said, "What ever could be so entrancing?"

"It's this letter from Phoenix," Twilight told, "I just... Something's off about it, but I can't tell what."

"Oh, what a coincidence," Rarity smiled, "I actually came to talk to you about him."

Twilight frowned a bit as she looked away from the letter and finally gave Rarity her full attention, "Oh?"

"You said after Canterlot he would be heading to Baltimare, yes?" Rarity asked

"Yes, if he's left Canterlot by now he should be there in... 2 days most likely, 3 at the most... Why do you ask?" Twilight questioned with a tilt of her head

"How serendipitous," Rarity smiled, "It just so happens I'll be in Baltimare in the day after next and I thought that I might bump into him! Since that seems to be the case is there anything you'd like me to bring him? Perhaps a letter?"

"Oh, wow! Serendipitous indeed!" Twilight perked up, "Yes, if you wouldn't mind delivering it to him, I'll write a letter now!"

"But of course," Rarity hummed, "Oh, what about his clothing situation? He's heading towards the Crystal Empire, yes? He did pack warm clothing... Right?"

Twilight stopped in her place, her quill and paper floating mid-air as her eyes widened, "I completely forgot about that... I- I don't think so... He wasn't wearing any of his winter clothes. That bag of his definitely didn't have enough room for them either."

Rarity blinked as she processed what Twilight just told her, "He knows it's called the Frozen North because it's cold, doesn't he?"

Twilight sighed as she shook her head, "Honestly, I don't even know when it comes to him anymore. One day he's one of the smartest beings you ever met, the next he's burnt his hand because he forgot that things just coming out of the oven are hot."

"Well, I suppose I still do have the designs I originally made for him, I can whip something up quickly no problem," Rarity assured, "...And you mentioned a bag, yes? Like a saddle bag or a gym bag?"

"Kind of like a saddle bag," Twilight told, "But it looked like it was made for his back and not a pony's... I suppose he made it himself."

"Hmm, I suppose I'll have to see this bag for myself!" Rarity said as she pointed her snout into the air, "You would think he would ask me. I'm wonderful at making bags!"

"You would think," Twilight laughed as she trotted over to her table, "But that's Phoenix for you."

"He certainly is a bit eccentric, isn't he?" Rarity hummed, "Is there anything else you'd like me to bring to him?"

"I think that's it for now. Thank you, Rarity. I'll bring the letter over right away!" Twilight told

"My pleasure, dear," Rarity smiled as she headed to the door happily, giving another smile before she closed the door.

"Hey, Twilight!" A voice shouted out, "The Princess sent over another letter!" Suddenly the source behind the voice ran into the room, scroll in hand.

"Really?" Twilight frowned as she took the letter in her magic and unfurled it. She squinted a bit as she lifted it to her face, "It's from Luna..."

"Jeez, you'd think someone would tell you..." Phoenix mumbled as he ran his hands through his hair, looking at his reflection in a Baltimare fountain. Apparently, sleeping in the woods was a good way of getting leaves in your hair and it must have looked so good nopony bothered to tell him about his new leafy hairstyle. Once he could no longer see any leaves in his hair, he stood up straight and sighed. He didn't dare glance around the park as he knew he'd be met with odd glances. It was weird enough a strange bipedal creature was in the midst of ponies, but even weirder that it decided to bend over a fountain and style its hair. He quickly turned on his heels and looked to his left. There was an exit to the park that led to what he assumed to be the city center. Shrugging his shoulders backwards, he readjusted his bag and prepared himself for a day of sightseeing... He wasn't actually sure what sights there were to see, but he'd surely sight some sight to see.

"Maybe there's some tour stands around here..." Phoenix said to himself as he exited the park and entered a new, more urban area. Scores of ponies trotted up and down the streets, half seeming like they were on a determined mission, the other seeming as if they were just happy to be out and about. The city was certainly nice to look at, he would give them that. Aimlessly wandering the paved streets, Phoenix found himself in what appeared to be a shopping district. Had he begun his journey here instead of Canterlot, this place would serve little purpose for him as he had no bits... However, somepony managed to sneak a sizable bag of bits into his bag when he wasn't paying attention and he wasn't aware until he was long gone from the city. Now that he found himself with a decent amount of wealth, he was hoping to get rid of it as quick as possible. While the bits certainly would make his journey easier, he was a man of principle, he set off his journey with no bits for a reason.

Stopping in front of boutique, he peered at the dress in the window, "Huh... I think Rarity might like this... Maybe they do deliveries." Phoenix said to himself as he went for the door, only for it to open before he had the chance. He stopped and stepped aside to let the pony leaving make their way, but something seemed to hold this pony up.

"Oh, Phoenix! What a coincidence!" A familiar posh voice said

Phoenix looked down at the pony and blinked in surprise, "Rarity?"

"Who else could it be, Darling?" Rarity flashed as a smile and tossed her mane, "Now what brings you into a boutique like this?"

"I was actually going to see if I could ship you a gift... I saw the dress in the window and thought you'd like it," Phoenix told

Rarity giggled as she held a hoof to her muzzle, "Oh, Phoenix how thoughtful of you. You're right, I do like that dress, but that's because I made it!"

"Oh," Phoenix said, a frown crossing his face, "Figures. You make all the good dress in Equestria, huh?"

"You charmer," Rarity hummed with a playful gesture, "I don't make all the good dresses... But certainly a decent number of them. There's actually an event happening tomorrow night, all the boutiques in Baltimare are involved. Since we've managed to bump into each other I wouldn't suppose you'd like to accompany me would you?"

"What kind of event is it?" Phoenix asked

"It's a sort of a charity fashion show. We show off our dresses, sell them at an auction later on, have a nice banquet, then we donate our proceeds to charity. I'm not sure if that's your cup of tea, but it could be nice."

"Oh," Phoenix said, the sound of his pleasant surprise evidence in his voice, "Believe it or not, that's exactly my cup of tea. Not the fashion part, but the charity and banquet part... That's actually what I used to do back on Earth. I worked with a lot of charities and, man, were banquets sure part of it."

"Really?" Rarity said, a renewed smile crossing her face, "How fortunate! So you'd like to come, I take it?"

"If I could help too, I'd be more than happy to," Phoenix said with a smile of his own

"Oh of course! I'm sure we could use the help of a professional like yourself," Rarity told

"I'm happy to be of service," Phoenix hummed, "So, could I get a copy of the press release so I can get an idea of what's going down?"

"Press release?" Rarity frowned

Phoenix blinked as he looked at the pure white mare, "...Yeah, the paper you send out to the press so they come and cover your event? And when they write about it your event and charity, it gets publicity, making the cause even more well known, bringing in more donations and attention?"

"We... Didn't write a press release," Rarity said with a nervous laugh

"When is the event?"

"Tomorrow afternoon?"

Phoenix swallowed, trying his hardest not to scream as anxiety filled his gut, "I think I have a lot of work to do."

"You've barely touched your breakfast, dear. Are you alright?" Rarity asked as she set her tea cup down, glancing at the disheveled human

"I'm a little worried," Phoenix admitted as he tapped his foot, staring at the news stand across the street, "Shouldn't the papers have been delivered already?"

"Relax, darling," Rarity hummed, "Enjoy your food, you worked very hard last night, no matter if we end up in the paper or not, this event will go perfectly."

"I know," Phoenix sighed, "Just... You've all clearly worked so hard on it, I just think that if we got more people in the know it could be something really big."

"If its not, there's always next time," Rarity told, "I'm always an advocate for big and well-covered events, but not everything can be the biggest hit. All that matters is that we're able to do what we set out to do. Put on a show and raise money for charity."

"I..." Phoenix began, but trailed off. For once, he didn't have a response. She was absolutely right, not every event, charity or not, could be the Grand Galloping Gala. While it would certainly be nice, as long as you do something... You've already done more than enough.

Before Phoenix could continue to sit and explore this simple, but new (to him at least) idea, he noticed a delivery pony with a large wagon of newspaper appear in his view, "Excuse me for a second..." He said as he sat up, rushing to the news stand.

"Excuse me, which papers do you have?" Phoenix asked as the delivery pony unloaded stacks of papers.

"We've got The Baltimare Times, Canterlot Gazette, The Applewood Reporter, and the Baltimare Examiner." The newsstand pony told

"Great, I'll take one of each," Phoenix said as he reached into his pockets and put a small handful of bits on the counter

"Coming right up," The pony said as he brushed the bits into a bag then cut into the stacks of newspapers, allowing them to air out and extend their full size. Gathering the papers, he gave them to Phoenix who happily took them in his hands, "There ya go, kid."

"Thank you, sir," Phoenix said with a nod and smile, rushing back to the table, "Sorry about that."

"Nothing to be sorry about, darling," Rarity assured, "And? Did you make it in?"

"Let's see," Phoenix said as he grabbed the first paper on the stack, "The Baltimare Times... Oh! Look at that!" Phoenix said as he flipped the paper to show Rarity, "We got front page!... Below the fold, but still!"

"That's wonderful!" Rarity smiled

"Yep, getting in the local paper is always great!" Phoenix said as he set the paper aside and grabbed the next one, "Applewood Reporter..." Phoenix mumbled as he scanned the front page. With a frown, Phoenix skipped over a few pages, "Oh!" He said in surprise

"What is it?" Rarity asked as she leaned in

"We're clearly not front page," Phoenix said as he flipped the paper around, "But we take up nearly half a page of the notable events section!"

"Oh!" Rarity smiled as she took the paper, "Would you look at that?"

"Mhm," Phoenix nodded as he picked up the next paper, "Next up, Canterlot Gazette," Phoenix again scanned the front page, finding nothing. He threw the pages open and continued to scan the pages until there was nothing left to scan, "Huh..."

"Hmm?" Rarity hummed as she looked up from her paper

"We didn't make the Gazette..." Phoenix mumbled as he sat the paper down

"Oh that's alright, dear," Rarity smiled, "We did make the Reporter and the Times, didn't we? Without you we wouldn't even be in any paper today!"

"Yeah, I guess," Phoenix said as he scratched the back of his head, "It's just the Gazette was the biggest paper... I was hoping we'd make that one."

"Remember," Rarity said as she put a hoof towards Phoenix, "Not everything has to be big. We tried and we succeeded in other places. That's what matters."

"Right..." Phoenix sighed, "It's just... Back on Earth, I don't think I would've still had a job if I didn't make the big paper."

"You don't think?" Rarity frowned, "Have you never not made the paper?"

"My organization a few times hasn't, but me personally? No. Whenever I got hired I at least made it on to two big papers." Phoenix told

"Well, when whoever was in charge of your press relations didn't make it to the big paper, did you fire them?" Rarity asked

"No, of course not," Phoenix frowned

"Then why would anyone fire you?" Rarity asked, "It seems like you're holding yourself to a much higher standard."

She got him again. He didn't have an answer. His entire time back on Earth, he worried about his quality of work. Despite rarely being chastised or reprimanded, he always worried that his work was never enough. He worried that he had to keep going bigger and bigger or he would be tossed aside. He worried that if didn't keep going bigger then nothing he was doing mattered... But Rarity had a point. As long as you do what you set out to do, then you've done well. The more he thought about his failures back on Earth through this new view, the more they began to seem like successes... And for some reason that made him feel even worse.

"I... The show doesn't start for about six hours, right?" Phoenix asked

"Yes, just about," Rarity said

"I, uh... Is it alright if I go to your hotel room and take a quick nap? I didn't sleep much last night," Phoenix said

"Didn't sleep much? Darling, you didn't sleep at all," Rarity said with a small laugh, "You were up all night running across town delivering your releases and fliers."

Phoenix laughed a bit with a blush, "Yeah... Sorry, I just... I'm really passionate about this stuff, I guess."

"That's nothing to be embarrassed about," Rarity assured with a smile, "Here's a key... Oh, also I didn't have the chance to tell you considering how busy you made yourself, but there's a royal blue bag with winter clothes for you. The bag's also yours to keep. I tried to design it so it sat comfortably on your shoulders, but since I didn't have you as a model I can't confidently say it's perfect, so please let me know."

Phoenix laughed a bit as he grabbed the key from the table and stood up, "Thank you, Rarity. I appreciate that."

"Anything for a friend," Rarity smiled, "Oh, I almost forgot! There's a letter from Twilight in there as well."

Phoenix felt his face begin to heat up as he swallowed. Twilight. She's probably livid beyond belief considering what he did and said the last time he saw her, "H-how is she?"

"She's very worried about you," Rarity told, "But she does truly hope you find what you're looking for on your journey."

Phoenix nodded as he turned the key over in his hand, "I-I'll see you in a bit..."

Dearest, Phoenix,

You may have never said you were smart, but you should. I for one think you're very intelligent. I forgive you for your "joke". I'm sorry if I ever made you feel like I think of you as some sort of annoyance or that I want you "out of my hair." I love you as well and I'm proud to call you one of my best friends. I care for you very much and I just couldn't stand to lose you. I understand this is something you need to do by yourself. For as long as I've known you, which isn't very long to be fair, you've always been stubborn. I can't begin to imagine how you must feel, being trapped in a world so different than your own with noponyone of your kind by your side; it must be very lonely... Please know that I will always be by your side to help you through whatever hardship you face. Together, there is nothing we cannot do.

I'm glad you reached Canterlot safely and at a startlingly fast pace as well! At this rate, you may actually make it back within two weeks! Not to rush you, of course, but I can't wait to see you again. Princess Luna wrote to me about your time with her and Princess Celestia. I'm glad you three get along well, they really do adore you. Princess Luna told me about the story of the Emperor's New Clothes that you shared. I think that you should consider writing that into a book and having it published, it would certainly be a welcome addition to my library!

I wish I could keep this letter on a happy note, but there are a few things that have been bothering me. The first is in regards to your first letter. While the general humor of it certainly fits your style, the heavy-hoovedness of it seems... More than usual. It is hard to portray sarcasm over letters, I recognize. However, I can't help but feel the deprecating statements aren't jokes. I get the feeling that you sincerely believe these awful things... Perhaps I'm just overly worried, but it had been bothering me. Please write me back letting me know. I trust you to tell me the truth.

The second thing that has bothered me is the reason for your trip. You told me the purpose of the trip was to sightsee. To gain insight into this new land you call home. However, according to Princess Luna, you told her and Princess Celestia that there was no reason to your trip and that you simply decided to go on it for no purpose. Again, I trust you to tell the truth, but how would you reconcile this contradiction?

Lastly, it has been recently brought to my attention that you set off on your journey without proper clothes for the cold journey. Perhaps it simply escaped your mind, but that doesn't seem like you. During the two winters we've spent together, you were never without the long coat Rarity made you... You told me how much you loved that coat. So why did you not bring it with you?

I'm sorry if I'm over burdening you with these questions, but they have been nagging at me for a while now. I hope you're doing well and continue to do well. Know that I completely support you and I know you'll make the most of your journey. I can't wait for you to get back so you can share your incredible stories and we can really begin to know each other like you said you wanted to in your last letter.

Forever and Truly Yours,

Twilight Sparkle

Phoenix blinked away a tear as he held the letter close to his chest. Staring up at the ceiling of Rarity's hotel room, he shifted uncomfortably on the bed, "Why do you have to make this so hard, Twilight?"

Chapter 4: A Secret Well Kept

"It was like a different human was up there, I swear, Darling," Rarity said with a smile as Twilight sat across from her, listening to her tale of Phoenix at the banquet she attended, "Neither of us were expecting him to be asked to give a quick speech, but he went up there with no hesitation and... Well he spoke! Very well, might I add. Oh, you should have been there. You would have been so proud."

"Yeah, I wish I was..." Twilight said as she glanced down, "It's so weird... We've known him for a while now, think you've sized him up, and then suddenly there's this small change in him one day... And the moment he's gone everything you hear about him is like he's a different pony- uh, human."

"It is a bit odd," Rarity nodded before freezing as she noticed the desolate look on her friend's face, "Twilight dear, are you alright?"

"I'm fine," Twilight said as she looked up and smiled, "I guess I'm just a bit worried about Phoenix."

Rarity smiled as she waved a hoof in the air, "Oh don't be, darling. If anything I've seen means anything he's better than ever."

Twilight sighed as she looked down, "That's... Oh, this makes me sound mean, but that's what I'm worried about! Don't you think it's weird he just suddenly changed!"

Rarity blinked at the sudden outburst as she tried to think of a response, "I... Suppose it is a bit weird, but I must say with no offense meant towards Phoenix at all: He is very weird."

Twilight huffed as she crossed her forelegs across her chest, "He's not that weird, but even so, sudden changes like his don't just happen for no reason."

"Twilight, I don't mean to be nosy or to assume anything, but..." Rarity started as she leaned in, looking over her shoulders to make sure no one was listening, "Do you miss Phoenix already? It's only been a week, he'll be back before you know it."

"I don't-" Twilight began as she raised her voice, taking a pause as she realized how worked up she was, "...Maybe a little. I know I don't always have to be with him, but... I just feel like I'm missing something important."

Rarity nodded slowly as she looked at Twilight, seemingly examining her. A silence fell upon the two as they sat, Twilight looked down at the floor as Rarity kept her eyes on Twilight, trying to find the answer as to what was missing. A small gasp from Rarity broke the silence, causing Twilight to look up in confusion.

"Is something up?" Twilight frowned

"I think I've figured out what's missing," Rarity said with a knowing smile

"What is it?" Twilight asked, a hint of hesitation in her voice as if she knew whatever Rarity had to tell was going to be uncomfortable.

"Before I say..." Rarity hummed as she turned to her saddle bag, lifting an envelope out of it and drifting it over to Twilight, "Phoenix wrote you a letter... I was going to give it to you as I left so you had some personal time, but I think you should read it now."

Twilight took the letter in her magic as she eyed Rarity questioningly, "Do you know what he wrote?"

"No, but now I want to watch you read it," Rarity smiled

Twilight took a deep breath as she opened the letter, pulling the folded paper out of the envelope and lifting it to her face as she began to read.

Dear Twilight,

I guess maybe I should have talked with everyone about my trip... If I did maybe seeing Rarity in Baltimare wouldn't have scared the living daylight out of me.

Before I get into the nitty-gritty of what I did in Baltimare, let me respond to your previous letter.
You've never made me feel like an annoyance nor anything short of welcome in this new world. I'm sorry that I made it seem like that's how I feel, I promise it isn't. You're the best thing that could have happened to me here and I'm thankful for you and all you've done for me everyday. I guess I just wish I could do something to return all the kindness you've shown me. I know now I haven't shown enough towards you.

You're questions are certainly not a burden and I'm happy to answer them. I'm doing well on my journey and I'm happy with the pace I've set. In regards to Celestia and Luna and the reason for my walk, I think there must have been a miscommunication somewhere. I never stated there was no reason for my trip. Maybe the Emperor's New Clothes story muddled that up a bit. I'll have to apologize to them when I get the chance.

With my clothes, I simply just didn't have enough space in my bag and figured I'd think of something before I got up to the Frozen North. Now that I have the bag Rarity made me as well as the new clothes, there's no problem anymore.

Lastly, about my humor. Twilight, you don't need to worry.

Let's get into my time in Baltimare, shall we? I came into the fair city like many a-traveller: with a sore back and a head of hair full of leaves and twigs. When I was touring the city, I saw a boutique with a dress I thought Rarity might like... When I went to buy and send it to her, she popped up and tried to scare my soul from my body. Of course, she had made the dress so there wasn't really a point in sending it to her. There goes my good deed, huh?

Anyways, after that little scene, Rarity invited me to her fashion show and banquet. I've been to a fashion show once or twice back on Earth and of course one or two here in Equestria. This one, I think was the most enjoyable. It was most likely because of the amount of people. It wasn't some exclusive, closed off event that only the elites of fashion could see. Anypony who could buy a ticket was there. It made the whole thing much more enjoyable.

I wasn't expecting much from the banquet, to be honest. I'd been to countless banquets back on Earth and those were the second most boring events you could go to. Much like the fashion show, however, I was surprised by how much I enjoyed this one. The atmosphere wasn't as high-falutin as banquets typically were. It was easy to just sit down and talk with other ponies... Besides myself at first, everypony actually seemed like they wanted to be there and they weren't stuck there because of some obligation. There was one thing I could think of that could have made that banquet perfect for me though.

It reminded me of the Grand Galloping Gala from last year. I remember when you told me about it, I wanted to bang my head against a wall. I mentioned that banquets were the second most boring events, right? Well the first are galas. Galas are the worst... Or at least were the worst. From my experience, galas were just parties rich people threw so they could brag to each other about how rich they are. The amount of self-congratulatory behavior mixed with obscene displays of wealth made me want to puke more than half the time. The Grand Galloping Gala... Honestly was no different. That being said though, I don't think I ever enjoyed a gala more than the Grand Galloping Gala. What made that gala great and what would have made the banquet perfect is you.

Even when we were just standing there, greeting ponies as they entered the building, being by your side was just... Fulfilling. The talks we had, the laughs we shared, and every moment in between is something I won't ever forget. There's just something about you that makes even the most excruciating events enjoyable. You managed to make the thing I hated the most, attending a gala, into something I wish we could do every night.

The next time we cross paths, I really need to do something for you to repay you for everything you've done for me and to make up all the hardship I've caused.

Please tell Rarity I say thank you for the clothes, again. And tell all our friends that I miss them and I hope they can forgive me for leaving so suddenly. I have my work cut out for me on the apology front, it seems.

Thinking of you always,

Phoenix

Twilight set down the letter as she swallowed, trying her best not to cry as she used a wing to fan her face.

"Darling, you're bright red~" Rarity hummed with a smile, "Do I have to say it?"

Twilight shook her head as she used a hoof to drag the letter close to her, "No... I think I know what's missing now too..."

"What I wouldn't do for a Philly cheesesteak..." Phoenix mumbled to himself as he walked down a long road filled with food vendors serving almost, but not quite, human meals. Phoenix wasn't exactly sure what a "Filly cheesehay" tasted like, but he had a feeling he wouldn't like it. That didn't stop him from seriously consider trying one, however. Lost in deep debate on whether or not he was going to try it out, he didn't notice as a cyan pegasus flew up from behind him, laughing to herself as she inched closer

"BOO!"

"JESUS TAP DANCING CHRIST!" Phoenix shouted in surprise as he jumped high into the air, turning around to face the vocal assailant.

"Ha, I got you good!" The rainbow maned pegasus laughed, her hooves crossed over her chest as she reclined in the air, tears coming from the corner of her eyes.

"My god, Rainbow. You nearly gave me a heart attack!" Phoenix said as he put a hand over his heart.

"Come on, dude, you gotta say it~" Rainbow smirked as she hovered close to his face, "I got youuuuu~"

"Ya, you got me," Phoenix said with a roll of his eyes, "What're you doing here?... Is Twilight sending you guys to check on me or something?"

"Nah, she gets your whole deal," Rainbow assured with a wave of her hoof, "I'm here cause the Filly weather team needed an extra hoof after a few ponies called sick."

"Ah, gotcha," Phoenix nodded, "Don't let me keep you, Dash."

"Listen, I'll be done in like 10 minutes tops. Stick around, will ya? We can grab some lunch or something," Rainbow said

Phoenix laughed a bit as he shook his head, "Am I paying this time, too?"

"Nah, I got this one-" Rainbow began as she pat a hoof near her wing, her eyes going wide as she began to pat all over her body, "Ha, so, uh... Funny story... I forgot all my bits back in Ponyville."

"Of course you did," Phoenix hummed, "Lucky for you, one of the princesses snuck a generous amount of bits into my bag when I wasn't looking."

Rainbow laughed as she rubbed her hooves together, "Ah yeah! Looks like the princesses are the ones paying for our meal then!"

"What a conniving way to think of it," Phoenix snorted, "But you're not wrong."

Rainbow Dash laughed as she quickly turned her heads to look at the clouds, waving a hoof towards Phoenix, "I'll be back in a second, just stick around and chill, okay?"

"You got it, boss," Phoenix hummed as he watched the pegasus fly away. His gaze shifted back to the Filly cheesehay stand, his curiosity growing ever more. Trying to turn his attention to something else, he looked to a newsstand and approached it. Maybe something interesting happened in the day it took him to go from Baltimare to Fillydelphia.

Approaching the large stacks of paper, he glanced across the different prints, looking for something that caught his attention. And something surely did. On the front page of a paper called the "Equestrian Inquirer" laid two pictures of himself, one was of him at the Banquet last night, standing and giving his quick speech, and the other was a picture of him speaking with Princess Luna and Princess Celestia. The latter picture looked as if it was taken from very far away with a high quality camera. The headline read, "Phoenix The Human and Princess Luna's Royal Secret!"

With a snort, Phoenix picked up the paper and unfolded it, "What, did we both kill Princess Diana or something?" Phoenix had never been one to read tabloids, whether on Earth or in Equestria. However, when Equestrian tabloids began to write about him, he couldn't help but read. His favorite piece so far was an article titled "Humans Eat Foals!?!" with a picture of him playing a game with a group of schoolfoals.

"Alright, let's see what they've got"

Just a few days ago, Phoenix the Human was spotted in Canterlot being escorted by countless guards to Canterlot Castle. Upon arrival, he was greeted by not only Princess Celestia, but Princess Luna as well! According to our inside sources, Phoenix was immediately taken into a secret meeting room where only he and the princesses resided.

Phoenix only stayed in Canterlot for half a day before leaving. After his departure from Canterlot, he was next seen in Baltimare. In Baltimare, Phoenix played an integral role in planning Baltimare's Annual Fashion Fundraiser despite not being on the bill or even associated with event before it began. Our sources tell us the reason for his sudden association with the fundraiser is directly connected to the meeting Phoenix had with the princesses.

While the exact contents of the meeting are unknown, our sources tell us that it was to discuss Princess Luna wishing to court Phoenix, but before she could begin, he had to prove himself a worthy public servant. To do this, Princess Celestia pulled strings to allow Phoenix to help with the fundraiser. Since he left Canterlot, it is reported that Princess Luna has not stopped asking about her Human lover's progress.

Seeing as the fundraiser was a massive success, we expect the official announcement of Princess Luna and Phoenix's relationship to be coming soon!

Phoenix stared in disbelief as he scanned the last two paragraphs of the article again. He couldn't even begin to think of how whoever wrote this article managed to create such an absurd story, one so absurd he wished it was about him assassinating royalty.

All Phoenix could muster was a single word. One he had not used since he first arrived in Equestria and hadn't used since.

"Bruh."

Phoenix read over the article again, thinking he missed something integral to understanding the true nature of the article, but he only found himself more confused.

"Bruh, what?" Phoenix said, "Say that to my face, Equestrian Inquirer, I dare you."

Despite his original guttural and disgusted reaction, Phoenix couldn't help but let a smile cross his face. He doubted Princess Luna would read these papers or that she'd even hear about this story, so he had to make sure she did. His only regret is that he wouldn't be there to see the look on her face when she read it. Quickly snatching another two copies and paying for them, he quickly walked to the nearest bench and sat down. Setting two of the copies to the side and holding one, he began to read over it again, making sure he grabbed the right copies.

"AHHH!!!" A familiar voice screamed out as something shook him violently from behind

Phoenix looked over his shoulder and spotted the Cyan pegasus hovering in the air, muzzle right next to his ear as she held onto his shoulders, "Oh, hey Dash."

"You jump up scared when I yell boo from far away, but you don't even care when I scream in your ear and shake you?" Rainbow pouted as she drifted backwards

"I found something much scarier," Phoenix laughed.

"Pfft, what is it?" Rainbow asked as she crossed her forelegs across her chest

"Take a look," Phoenix hummed as he held the paper out to her

Rainbow rolled her eyes, "Can't you just tell me what it says?"

"Dash... Can you read?" Phoenix frowned

"What?!" Rainbow asked as her eyes went wide

"It's just whenever I tell you to read something you tell me to read it for you," Phoenix noted

"I-I can read! I've read the entire Daring Do series! I just don't like reading newspapers, they're boring" Rainbow explained, a blush across her face

"Gotcha," Phoenix nodded as he looked back to the paper, "I still think you should read it. You won't believe me if I tell you,"

"Try me," Rainbow scoffed

"Well, apparently Luna and I are dating," Phoenix hummed

"What?! No way it says that!" Rainbow shouted as she snatched the paper from Phoenix's hands. She quickly raised the paper as close as she could to her face and began to read, mumbling what she read under her breath. Once she finished, she moved the paper away from her face and stared at Phoenix in shock, "...When were you gonna tell us?!"

"What?"

"When were you gonna tell us you were dating Luna?!"

Phoenix let out a laugh as he rubbed his face in annoyance, "Never because we're not!"

Rainbow frowned as she looked to the paper then back to Phoenix, "...Then why did they say you are?"

Phoenix shrugged, "I dunno, so people buy their papers? It's just some tabloid piece, they make stuff up all the time."

Rainbow laughed as she settled down on the bench next to Phoenix, "You had me going there for a second!... Wow, could you imagine? You and Luna?"

"I'm not sure if i want to imagine," Phoenix laughed with a shake of his head, "Buuuuut, if I have to imagine it, I'm not gonna imagine it alone."

Rainbow looked at Phoenix with a confused look before she suddenly realized at what he was hinting at causing a mischievous smirk to appear on her face, "You're gonna send this to Princess Luna?"

"Oh yeah," Phoenix hummed, "She's gotta suffer through this with me. That's what couples do, right?"

"Hey, let me get a copy. I wanna show it to Twilight, she's gonna freak," Rainbow laughed as she reached over him and grabbed one of the papers.

"I wouldn't say she'd freak," Phoenix snorted, "...She'd be excited that's for sure though,"

"Pfft, excited?" Rainbow laughed, "She'd be the opposite of excited. She'd be jealous!"

"Oh yeah, of course," Phoenix rolled his eyes.

"What? Don't tell me you haven't seen it!" Rainbow said as she nudged him

"Seen what?" Phoenix asked with a raise of an eyebrow

"Dude, no way," Rainbow said as she looked at him in disbelief, "You haven't seen it? Twilight's got the huuuuuugggggggeeeesssst crush on you!"

"Ha, good one," Phoenix snorted.

"You think I'm joking?" Rainbow frowned

"And failing miserably at it," Phoenix hummed

"Are you blind or something? How have you not noticed," Rainbow asked, "You notice everything! That's like, your thing."

"Because there's nothing to notice," Phoenix shrugged.

"Wow, stallions really are oblivious," Rainbow huffed, "Here, let's do it this way. Do you have a crush on her?"

Phoenix sighed as he leaned over, rubbing his temples, "Dash, I don't wanna think about that... It's just gonna make a lot of things way more complicated and I don't think I can deal with that."

"What, do you think she doesn't like you back or something?" Rainbow questioned

"Dash," Phoenix groaned, "Please, just... Let it go. I don't wanna talk about it."

"Sorry..." Rainbow mumbled

Phoenix took a deep breath as he sat back up right, "It's okay... I've just got a lot of things on my mind, ya know?"

"I get you," Rainbow nodded, "How about we get some food already? I saw you eyeing the Filly Cheesehay stand."

"You got me," Phoenix laughed, "...Would you mind sticking around for a bit after we eat? I wanna write some letters and if you wouldn't mind delivering them to Twilight I'd appreciate it... One's to Luna, but I figured Twilight could magic it over or whatever."

"You got it, Nix. I mean, you're covering lunch, right?" Rainbow hummed

"Right," Phoenix laughed

"Yo, Twilight, are you here?" Rainbow Dash called out as she entered the castle

"Be right there!" A voice called out. Before Rainbow could even turned her head, a familiar purple pony popped into view and trotted up to her, "Rainbow Dash, there you are! Where've you been all day?"

"Well, I had to fly to Fillydelphia to help out with some stuff and you'd never guess who I saw," Rainbow hummed

"Oh, did you see Phoenix? How is he? Has he been eating and sleeping well? He's not hurt is he?" Twilight began to fret

"Twilight, chill," Rainbow laughed, "He's all good. I've got a letter from him actually... And one for Princess Luna too. Do you think you could send it off?" Rainbow asked as she pulled out an envelope

"Oh, of course! I'll get that to Spike right away," Twilight hummed as she took the envelope in her magic, "And you've got one for me too?"

"Mhm, right here," Rainbow said as she reached and grabbed another envelope. Twilight grabbed it with a wide smile on her face, already beginning to open it up as Rainbow hummed, "So, did you hear the news?"

"...What news?" Twilight asked as she set the letter down

"About Princess Luna and Phoenix? It was in the paper," Rainbow told

"I haven't heard anything about them! Is something the matter?" Twilight frowned

"Nah, they're great! Look, read this!" Rainbow said with a smile as she pulled out a newspaper.

Twilight cautiously took the paper from Rainbow and began to read, "'Phoenix The Human and Princess Luna's Royal Secret!' How sensational..." Twilight commented as she started the article. Rainbow watched in excitement, trying to contain her laughter as Twilight quickly made her way down the page. As she did, her curious look quickly devolved into one of sadness. Her face drooped as she hung onto each word of the article, her ears folding down as she looked at the floor, "He never told me..."

"He didn't tell anyone! It was a big secret," Rainbow hummed

"Did... Did he tell you that?" Twilight asked as she looked up at Rainbow, her disappointment clear in her voice

"Mhm," Rainbow nodded, causing Twilight to deflate even more than she already had, "So secret not even Phoenix or Princess Luna knew about it!"

"What?"

"Twilight, it's made up!" Rainbow laughed, "Sorry, sorry, I just had to scare you a little! Phoenix found that some paper wrote a dumb article and I just had to."

"Wait, so... They're not together?" Twilight asked

"Nope, he's still your stallion to catch~" Rainbow said with a smirk

Twilight blushed brightly as she looked to Rainbow Dash then quickly looked away, "I don't know what you mean."

"Come on, Twilight," Rainbow snorted, "You don't have to hide it from me!"

"H-How-" Twilight stuttered as she looked around before closing the gap between her and Rainbow, "How do you know?! Rarity didn't even know until this morning! I didn't even know until this morning!"

"Pfft, seriously?" Rainbow laughed, "He's like, all you talk about! And remember the night when we all found out Phoenix was stuck here? And even though he said he was fine you insisted that you stay with him even though he was gonna go to bed? And you refused to get up from his lap?"

"I just wanted to make sure he was actually ok!" Twilight stomped

"So did everyone else, but we weren't curling up and falling asleep in his lap like an over-sized cat," Rainbow teased

"Shush," Twilight huffed

"Twilight's got a cruuuusssshhh~" Rainbow hummed

"Stop it, Dash!" Twilight blushed as she looked away, "W-why is Phoenix sending Princess Luna a letter, by the way?"

Rainbow laughed as she shook her head, "Someone's gotta tell the princess about her new stallion friend."

"Oh stars, I don't think that's going to end well," Twilight frowned

"Maybe, but it's still funny," Rainbow hummed, "Anyways, back to you and Pheeny Weeny~"

"A-Actually Dash, I've got a lot of work to do! M-maybe we can pick this up tomorrow?" Twilight swallowed as she ushered Rainbow Dash to the castle doors

"Oh, sure," Rainbow laughed as she walked slowly to the door, "You need some personal time with that letter, right?"

"Don't be gross!" Twilight chastised

"Hey, that's where your mind went. I just meant you wanted some peace and quiet," Rainbow hummed as she made it to the open door, "See ya later, Twilight!"

Twilight watched as the pegasus flew off from the castle, not taking her eyes off her until she was just a speck in the sky. With a sigh, Twilight walked back into her castle and retrieved the partially opened letter. Taking a deep breath, she continued her mission and opened it, taking it from the envelope and unfolding it

Dear Twilight,

Before I begin, have you read that article yet? Don't worry, I can wait until you do...

Now that you've read it, let me apologize first... Even though it was Rainbow Dash's idea. I told her it'd be dumb, but she insisted. Personally, I just wanted to tell Luna and freak her out by pretending it was all true. But besides that, isn't that article just wild? Some ponies really just come up with the weirdest things. And why me and Luna? I feel like we've spent the least amount of time together, you'd think if they were coming up with some dumb romance story it'd be with someone in Ponyville. But tabloids will be tabloids, it's nice to see that in Equestria even tabloids are just as weird. At least this one isn't claiming my dad helped assassinate the President or something.

Anyways, onto stories that are real. I don't really have one. Nothing exciting has happened since my little adventure with Rarity, which I guess is kind of a good thing. I made it to Fillydelphia pretty quickly and without incident. I'm mega regretting my no inn rule now and so is my back, but we push on. I think this marks a halfway point, though! Now all that's left is Manehattan, Neighagra Falls, then the Crystal Empire.

Think I'm gonna bump into somepony in Manehattan too? I mean, once is a coincidence, twice is a pattern. I think that's how the saying goes, I don't remember. If I bumped into a third pony I'd say they're being sent to find me, but I know better.

I hope all is well back in Ponyville and that you're doing well too. Rainbow Dash encouraged me to try my first hay-based food and I've gotta say... It's not as terrible as I thought it'd be. Still pretty bad, but not offensively bad like I thought it'd be. I could tolerate it with more seasoning, I think.

That kind of seems to be the case with most things in Equestria with me. I assume it's gonna be awful, but it ends up just being mildly distasteful... Sometimes even good. Damn, I'm finding metaphors and lessons through food, maybe I am losing my mind. I guess we'll see, won't we?

I still miss you and still hope you're doing well. Tell everyone I say hi, again. Except for Dash, I've already said hi to her.

Thinking of you always,
Phoenix

Chapter 5: Wide Awake

Dear Luna,

Or is that too formal? Since we're dating, maybe I should start calling you babe or even better... Lulu. You should really tighten up your inner circle because it looks like somepony leaked our terrible secret to the press. I can't believe something we worked so hard to keep a secret, so secret in fact that neither of us even knew about it, could just be published like that!

It's a shame that the Equestrian Inquirer had to be the one to break the news to the public and not us. Imagine the surprise on everypony's face when we stood side by side, hand in hoof, and announced our undying love. Could you imagine the cheers and love throughout Equestria, Lulu? I know I have only just proven myself a "worthy public servant" but I can already see our wedding day. It would truly be a spectacle for all to enjoy.

I appreciate to hear your concern with my journey as reported by the Inquirer. Just know that your human lover is always thinking of you too. Perhaps you can visit me when I arrive to Manehattan or take a romantic sightseeing excursion with me at Neighgra Falls. I miss you so much already, my love. Please tell Celestia that I thank her for the opportunity at the fundraiser. Without her help, our true love would never have been realized.

I can't wait for our reunion... And our union~

Your true love,
Phoenix the Human

Princess Luna looked up from the letter with a bright blush and shock written across her face. Her attention turned to her sister. A huge grin had appeared on her face, clearly trying to prevent herself from launching into a fit of hysterics.

"Sister..." Luna glared at the white Alicorn, "This is serious."

"I know, true love is nothing to joke about," Celestia said as her grin grew wider, "Lulu~"

"Celestia!" Luna scoffed, "Clearly there's been some sort of breach here! How else would a measly tabloid paper know about my surveillance on Phoenix?"

Celestia shook her head as she finally let out a small laugh, "Sister, you've been bringing pony after pony into the castle trying to find information on Phoenix's whereabouts. It's not hard to imagine that one of them went and talked to the press... And I must say, you're doing an awful amount of research on Phoenix's little trip when you yourself said there was no reason to it."

"Well, new information has changed my position on the matter," Luna said as she shifted uncomfortably, glancing over at the article Phoenix sent over, "I've been writing with Twilight Sparkle since Phoenix left Canterlot to discuss his behavior. Twilight seems to have noticed a concerning change as well."

Celestia frowned as she glanced towards the ground. Phoenix's behavior just a week prior did catch her attention, but she did not think much of it. For as long as she had known Phoenix, the only thing she knew about him was that she knew nothing about him. She always thought his unsociable and isolated behavior was a result of the sadness caused by his separation from home.

She wouldn't say it out loud, but she almost prefered Phoenix's new behavior. The usual silent, reserved, and stoic human seemed to have found a second wind for life. He was talkative, emotional, and humorous outside of just self-deprecating comments and dry humor. At the time, she thought Phoenix's "new" behavior was not necessarily something new for him, but something new to her. Though, now that she thinks about it from a concerned lense, there was a change that did concern her.

Despite the many personality flaws she had come to know over his long stay, there was one quality she always admired. His patience. No matter the situation, no matter the pony, Phoenix was always able to sit still and listen. He was focused and attentive. Small ticks that would drive a normal pony crazy never phased him. It seemed nearly impossible to annoy him. Even Pinkie Pie's antics would peeve her friends after a while, but never Phoenix. He always had the patience to play along, to never be upset... Or at least to never show that he was upset. He never let the backhanded compliments given to him by the sycophants that plague the castle and attend royal events anger or insult him. He would listen to a pony until they finally said what they wanted to. He was willing to stand by a pony until the task they set out to complete was done.

When Phoenix sat down in the dining hall, however, that quality seemed to have disappeared. Even the positive changes seemed to melt away. He seemed antsy -- uncomfortable even. If he could jump out from his own skin, she had no doubt he would have. Then came the talks of his past and his past world. He quickly lost his patience and almost his temper. Clearly, something about his past upset him, but again, Celestia didn't think much of it. There's a time in everypony's past that upsets them. Considering what Phoenix told her about his old world, the attitude of other humans would be something she'd lose her patience and temper with as well. But again looking at it through a different view, it didn't seem like Phoenix was losing patience with his old world nor his fellow humans, but rather with himself. It's as if as he was speaking, he grew enraged with himself. With every word he spoke, his seemingly infinite supply of patience ran thinner and thinner.

"Now that you mention it..." Celestia said in a low voice, "He did seem a bit short-tempered, didn't he?"

Luna sighed as she set Phoenix's "love" letter aside, "That would be one of the chiefly concerning changes."

"...So you think this trip of his has some relation with his change in behavior?" Celestia asked

"I don't have any evidence, but... I feel that is the case," Luna told, "Twilight had written to me about how Phoenix and one of the elements, Fluttershy, began to take walks together just weeks before Phoenix left for his trip. Fluttershy had reported that she found Phoenix heading towards the Everfree Forest."

Celestia squinted a bit as she listened to her sister speak. The Everfree Forest? Why in Equestria would he be heading there? He very well knows the dangers that lurk in that forest. What business could he have had in that dangerous forest at night no less?

Luna slowly began to move from her spot on her balcony as she continued speaking, "When she asked him what he was doing, he claimed to be on a walk. She then asked if she could join him and the two proceed to walk in silence together. Upon reaching his house, Fluttershy said that Phoenix seemed frightened of something and asked for her to stay with him for the night."

The last sentence definitely caught Celestia's attention. Something frightened Phoenix, causing him to leave the comfort of his home and escape to... The Everfree Forest? Perhaps he actually intended to find Fluttershy, but was turned around slightly... Still, if something frightening invaded his own home, Fluttershy would be the last pony to go to, unless it was an animal.

"Did Phoenix give Fluttershy a reason as why he wanted her to stay?"

"He simply said he didn't think he should be alone."

Celestia paused at Luna's last phrase, "He didn't think he should be alone? Is that what he said?"

"That is what Fluttershy claimed," Luna confirmed.

"I'm not quite sure what that means, but it clearly means something very specific," Celestia thought aloud as she began to pace slowly.

"If he was lonely, he would have just said he didn't want to be alone or that he needed company. If she was concerned and thought he was lonely, then Fluttershy would have said 'I didn't think he should be alone.' To say that he didn't think he should be alone is a very purposeful phrase to use," Celestia reasoned

"Yes, it would seem like it is... Which brings us to an impasse. Either Fluttershy is mistaken in her recollection of the events of that night, which I doubt considering the specific and rather odd phrase we've both noticed, or she is correct and the only person who knows the meaning behind the phrase is Phoenix," Luna said as she walked to stand in her sister's pacing path.

"W-well... Then we ask Phoenix! I don't see how this is an impasse," Celestia told

Luna shook her head and sighed, "I seriously doubt he would answer. You remember how he acted when I asked him about the strange letter in the dining hall. He refused to answer, he shut down. I tried to confront Phoenix in a dream about his behavioral change and a similar event transpired. He closed off and became cold, when I tried to reassure him, he told me everything was okay... A lie that would have slipped past me if he himself had not told us of how to spot a fake smile."

"Lying isn't something Phoenix does," Celestia frowned, a hint of offense in her voice.

"I would never call Phoenix a liar," Luna shook her head, "But, it would appear Phoenix has something he wishes to hide and he is trying very hard to keep it hidden."

"Well, if he wishes to keep it hidden, who are we to pry? Everypony is entitled to their secrets."

"That may be so, but I fear the secrets Phoenix keeps will spell disaster if they remain hidden as he wishes... There are some secrets that can tear a pony apart; I fear that's the situation we are facing with Phoenix."

Celestia sighed as she looked to her sister and nodded solemnly, "I understand. I'd encourage you to continue your research... We can't risk confronting Phoenix if it means he will close off completely... Have you seen his dreams tonight?"

Luna shook her head as she looked up to the moon, "He hasn't gone to sleep yet. I'll let you know in the morning if there's anything of interest."

Phoenix sighed as he leaned against a large tree just at the edge of a field. Though his walk from Baltimare to Fillydelphia was a short one, his destination of Manehattan was much longer and he needed to rest for the night. Finding a comfortable spot with shade, he set up what little he had and watched the night sky. He'd lost track of how long he had been sitting there, but it certainly wasn't for a short amount of time.

"Well, Luna... You've done it again," Phoenix mumbled to himself as he looked to the moon, rubbing his tired eyes, "You really just don't want me sleeping, huh?"

Phoenix laughed to himself. If Luna were around to hear him, he'd be getting a strong glare right about now. Maybe even a stern saying of his name, depending on her mood. He and Luna always had an interesting relationship. When he first arrived in Equestria, Luna seemed both cautious and comfortable with Phoenix. She always made it a point to greet him and see him when she could, but did so at a distance. Phoenix understood why; when a strange creature from another world suddenly appears, you want to look... But at a safe distance. It all changed when she asked him one question. One he can't help but laugh at thinking back on it.

"Why do you always look away from a pony's cutie mark?"

Phoenix didn't know how to respond. He had learned that a pony's cutie mark was something ponies took pride in. They were usually more than happy to show it off and explain its meaning. It wasn't the cutie mark he didn't want to look at, however. It's where it was. He understood why his dodging eyes would be seen as weird in Equestria... He just wasn't sure he had the heart to tell her why it isn't weird to avoid looking at someone's flank back on Earth.

"Uh... It's a culture thing..." Was all Phoenix managed to respond, hoping Luna wouldn't be interested. How wrong he was. If anything, that made her more curious. She wanted to know everything about cutie marks back on Earth. Why they were so taboo. What cutie marks meant to Earth Citizens.

With each question she asked, the redder his cheeks got... Was he really about to tell a magic pony princess thousands of years older than him about human sexual preferences? Luna's deep and curious gaze, however, answered that question for him.

"Well, uh... There aren't actually cutie marks back on Earth," Phoenix admitted.

"Oh? Then why would you not like to look at them? One would think that you'd like to observe this new phenomenon" Luna
questioned.

"T-that's a very good question... On Earth it's considered extremely rude and inappropriate to look at someone else's butt, er, flank. Unless, you know, you're a couple or whatever."

Luna frowned, "I... don't understand. Why would that be inappropriate or rude?"

"Here it goes," Phoenix thought to himself as he took a deep breath, "For humans, butts are... How do I put this... Attractive? Like, it's a... How can I say this without..."

"Ah, 'tis a sexual thing, yes?" Luna deduced

Phoenix felt his heart drop at Luna's revelation. He slowly nodded without a word.

A small smirk crept across Luna's face as she took a step towards Phoenix, breaking the usual ten feet of distance she usually kept from him, "Worry not, Phoenix. I understand. But here in Equestria, that is not the case. When a pony sees another admiring their cutie mark, it's actually a compliment. Not rude or suggestive in anyway. Please, allow me."

Phoenix watched in horror as she got closer, presenting her flank to him, "This is my cutie mark. Take a look and admire it~"

"Oh uh, t-that's quite alright, Luna. Thank you for the offer," Phoenix swallowed

"Phoenix, I insist. Knowing a pony's cutie mark is very important in the friendship making process," She said

Phoenix took another breath as he finally looked down. He tried with all his might not to look away as he looked at her flank, more specifically the crescent moon and black spots that appeared on her fur, "T-that's very nice."

"Thank you, Phoenix. You're quite the gentlecolt," She hummed as she tilted her head up slightly, "Perhaps you'd like to touch it as well."

Phoenix blinked as he looked at the alicorn princess, a knowing smirk across her face, "...You're messing with me." In his voice wasn't disgust, nor surprise, but genuine impression. This princess just learned that something normal to ponies was considered somewhat of a sexual taboo to humans and she had the audacity to play around with him.

"Oh, am I?" She asked coyly

He couldn't help but smile. That was one of the funniest moments he had in Equestria so far. He knew she's a princess, yet he still couldn't believe the absolute gall she had to pull something like this. He respected the ever living hell out of it.

"Be careful, Luna... Or staring isn't the only thing I'm gonna do with that flank."

Now it was Luna's turn to blush. She wasn't expecting that. She thought she had won this encounter, yet Phoenix managed to one up her and call her bluff. She looked to the now smirking human, his arms crossed across his chest, "...You're a brave one, it seems."

"Sorry, Luna. If you can't handle the heat, stay out of the kitchen... Or I guess the bedroom in this case," Phoenix said with a wink.

Luna stared at him in shook, her jaw dropping slightly. In all her years, never had anyone spoken to her like that. The fact he kept "forgetting" to address her and her sister by their royal titles already annoyed her, even though Celestia insisted she let it go... But this...

This.

This completely made up for it.

Finally, she had someone who she could joke with. Someone she could laugh and mess around with. One who didn't worry about "etiquette" and "manners" around her. Someone she could make crude sex jokes with and not have to hear horrified gasps, typically coming from her sister.

"Phoenix," Luna said with a cold gaze

"Luna," Phoenix responded, returning the look

Luna smiled as she began to walk past Phoenix, swatting him with her tail as she passed, "Welcome to Equestria, you filthy-minded creature."

"Takes one to know one, Moonbutt," Phoenix snorted.

Phoenix laughed as he looked up to the moon once again. It was almost hard to believe the same being responsible for raising and lowering that large satellite was also the one who would burst into laughter and tears at a simple "that's what she said" joke. He hated how much he liked her and how well they got along at the time. It made his, what he thought would be inevitable, departure from this land all the harder. Now that he knows he's stuck here, he wishes he spent more time getting to know her... He wishes he spent more time getting to know everypony. Maybe if he had, he wouldn't be feeling so bad now. But who knows, maybe he would feel even worse.

Speaking of feeling worse... As Phoenix began to doze off, he suddenly realized he had forgotten to write his letter to Twilight for the day. He may not be able to get it sent off until tomorrow, where he'll most likely write another one as well, but he felt that forgetting to write even if he wasn't going to send it, especially when he was on his own, was the second worst thing he could do to the kind mare. The worst being yet to come. He could only handle so much guilt. With a sigh, Phoenix reached into his bag and pulled out a pen and sheet of paper.

Dear Twilight,

I'm sorry. For everything... Nothing specific has happened that I need to bring to your attention, but I feel like I need to say sorry. I'm sorry for the unimaginable stress I've put on you with this dumb adventure of mine. I'm sorry for being so distant and cold. You always tried your hardest to make me feel welcome and comfortable. To try and get me to open up to you. I rejected your attempts every step of the way and I'm sorry. I don't get how you haven't given up on me yet. I know I have...

I need to confess something to you; something you've probably already figured out. I am not a good person. Back on Earth, I thought I was. I used to run charities, I volunteered at other charities, I participated in countless advocacy events. I spoke, I fund-raised, I led PR campaigns... I did it all. But no matter how much work I did, it never felt like enough. I never thought I was working hard enough or helping enough people. The harder I worked, the more people seemed to resist my efforts. I thought that meant people didn't actually want to help others. I thought it meant people were cold and uncaring. I thought it meant everything I believed to be true about fairness and charity was a lie... It wasn't until I arrived in Equestria when I figured out the problem... It wasn't my message that was the problem, it was me. I was the problem.

It wasn't about helping people. It was about being a savior. I thought I knew best... I thought I knew what was best for everyone and that anyone who fought against me were people against charity. I can only stop and think about how narcissistic I was, and to an extent, still am. I see the problem, I understand it. While my intentions were good, my ego and pride prevented me from seeing where the lines needed to be drawn. Promoting tolerance and acceptance is a good thing. A very good thing. You and your friends do so time after time. I, however, lost the plot. It wasn't about my ideals anymore, it was about making myself feel better.

A few months before I came to Equestria, I gave up on everything. I thought the world simply didn't want goodness or acceptance. I thought the world was just intolerant and there was nothing I could. All the work I did was for nothing and never actually helped anyone. Speaking with Rarity in Baltimare made me realize something though. Though the work I did was small and incomplete in my eyes, I did help people. My vanity may have blinded me from the true reason behind charity, but the work I did was still good. I helped people. Even if they were in small numbers, or what I saw to be small numbers, it was still something. I don't mention this to be self-congratulatory or to prove I'm something I'm not. I bring it up because it highlights just how little I know. I don't know anything, let alone what is "best" for anyone. I'm not a savior or even a hero like you and the others. I'm just some guy who patted himself on the back one too many times.

Part of me is glad I finally realized this. My time on Earth now makes sense, even if it is painful to fully realize. I did good, but I also did bad. I made plenty of mistakes; mistakes I can finally recognize... The other part of me dreads this realization. I'm here in Equestria now, not on Earth. There's nothing I can do to reconcile what I've done. The damage I've caused has been done and I can't even say I'm sorry. I recognize that even this thought is in itself selfish... I don't really care about making amends, do I? I just want to make myself feel better. I want to feel like a good person... But I can't. I'm just not. I think the fact I wrote this as a letter to you proves it.

I don't know what to think anymore. I wish I could start fresh, as if everything I've ever done never happened and I could start again. I thought maybe coming to a new world would allow me to do exactly that, but it's not the case. Even here in Equestria, my guilt and my memories haunt me. I don't know what to do. I don't know who I am. I don't know how to change...

I don't think there's anything for me to do anymore but what I'm doing now. I'm sorry you had to get caught up in this... I'm writing this the day before I reach Manehattan. I'm not sure if I'll actually send this one out... If I do, it definitely won't be when I get to Manehattan.

I don't know what fate has in store for me, but whatever it is I will embrace it. I hope you will, too.

Thinking of you always,
Phoenix

Phoenix sighed as he looked at the letter in his hands. Shaking his head, he folded it up and placed it in his bag. He then retrieved another piece of paper and twirled the pen in his hand, "Alright, edgelord... Let's write a letter we can actually give to her."

Chapter 6: Bright Flashes and City Lights

Phoenix wasn't exactly sure what he was expecting from Manehattan, but it certainly wasn't something so Manhattan-like. It was like looking at the Manhattan back on Earth, just pony themed. They had everything, a pony Empire State Building, a pony Statue of Liberty (he wasn't even going to try and reconcile that statue's history with the Human version), and a pony Manhattan Bridge.

Phoenix couldn't help but smile at the familiarity. Phoenix and Manhattan were certainly not strangers back on Earth. Manhattan was the typical meeting spot for his line work, so he had been there for what felt like collective months. It all began to make him wonder just how similar Manehattan was to Manhattan.

Since there definitely was a Manehattan Bridge, that must mean there's also the DUMBO neighborhood, which might mean his favorite pizza shop is there too, or at least some version of it. There might even be a pony Rockefeller Center, he'd love to go ice skating there one more time. This might actually be the closest thing to an Earth city he could come by; just walking down the downtown streets blasted him with a sensation of familiarity... After second thought, however, he hoped he wouldn't find it too too familiar.

As his Train of Thought chugged onwards into the Mountains of Tangents, Phoenix failed to notice the many ponies along the streets stopping to stare and whisper. Everytime he passed a pony, they would stop and either look over at the nearby news vendor or begin whispering to their friend. Ponies stopping and staring was nothing new to Phoenix. He was essentially an alien in this world, ponies stopped and stared all the time. He didn't mind it. If a pastel-colored, talking pony came to Earth one day, he'd stop and stare too.

However, when a pony stopped to stare, they eventually went on with the rest of their day like nothing ever happened. This time, a small crowd seemed to be gathering behind him. Each time he passed a stunned pony, they joined the chain. Phoenix was too busy trying to remember if he ever had seen a pony passenger jet to notice his ever-gathering posse. It wasn't until a sudden clearing of a throat snapped Phoenix from his disturbing daydream. Immediately glancing down, he noticed a stallion standing in front of him. Glancing around, he couldn't help but notice everypony staring at him, many with impassioned grins on their face.

"Excuse me, Sir Phoenix," The grey pony said with a posh accent, his head pointed up in typical snotty-pony fashion

"Um, just Phoenix is fine Mr..." Phoenix told as he tried not to make eye contact with anypony

"Silver Chaser, a pleasure to make your acquaintance," the pony informed, "I would just like to congratulate you on the recent news."

"Oh?" Phoenix frowned

"Is he talking about the fundraiser?... How'd that reach all the way over here... And who cares that much?"

"Yes, I must say we were very surprised to hear that you of all ponies, or, excuse me, humans, would be chosen by our princess, but I suppose she knows how to pick them, wouldn't she?"

Phoenix blinked at the pony. He had officially lost him. What was he talking about?

"I'm sorry, I'm not quite sure what you mean?" Phoenix laughed nervously

"You and Princess Luna, of course. It's in today's paper!" Silver Chaser told

Phoenix looked around at the crowd of ponies, all of them nodding in agreement, still has excited has ever, "Today's paper? Uh, which one was that?"

"The Canterlot Gazette. It's the only reputable paper worth reading, after all! Now, I'd like to ask if you would be able to attend an event I have scheduled in a few weeks, we'd be more than honored to have you there... Perhaps you could even invite the Princess?..."

"Uh, I'll have to check our schedule, but I'll be sure to let you know Mr. Chaser," Phoenix said as he scanned the street for the nearest newsstand. Spotting one, he quickly jogged over to it, the crowd around him parting for him as each pony tried to call out and grab his attention.

"Excuse me," Phoenix sighed as he reached the stand, "Could I get a copy of the Canterlot Gazette, please?"

"'Course Sir Phoenix!" A newsmare said in a heavy New York accent as she pointed to a stack of newspapers, "Here you go,"

"Thanks..." Phoenix mumbled as he grabbed a copy and fished into his pocket to grab a bit

"It's on the house, Sir," she smiled as she saw him retrieve a gold coin

"I insist," Phoenix smiled back as he placed the bit on her stand, "I appreciate the gesture." Before she could respond, Phoenix quickly walked off with his face in the paper. On the front cover was a picture of him and Luna standing next to each other, a small grin on each of their faces as they looked at each other. The headline read 'Phoenix the Human and Princess Luna's Relationship Seemingly Confirmed.'"

"Seemingly. That's good journalism."

Phoenix recognized the scene photographed... How it was photographed, he didn't know and the fact they kept the picture from over a year ago was beyond him. The picture showed the time when Luna was showing him the royal gardens, specifically her favorite spot. The two had just finished speaking with Celestia about, what she described as a "long and hard" day. The childish grins on their faces was the result of both of them trying not to burst out laughing in front of her.

Phoenix feared to read what the article had to say. What "seemingly confirmed" their non-existent relationship? Based on the looks everypony was giving him, it must have said quite a bit. The crowd that had previously held its distance behind him now closely circled him. Feeling like a cornered animal, Phoenix's heart began to race as he looked around at the smiling ponies.

"Uh... Hi?" Phoenix said with a nervous smile.

That did it.

Like opening all the cages at the zoo, the ponies closed in on him and began to bombard him with questions. All he could do was smile and nod at whoever managed to make eye contact with him, trying to answer whatever question he could hear. He was always cut off by another question before he could answer.

One voice, however, cut through the crowd of countless sounds like a crack of thunder during a rainstorm. The voice was familiar, just like everything in this city seemed to be, except for the giant pony mob. Where had he heard that voice before? It certainly didn't sound like any of the other ponies in this city, not that he knew any ponies in this cities. The accent was noticeably different, marginally more southern.

Oh. Right, duh.

"'Scuse me! Pardon! Hey, watch it!" The voice echoed as it began to grow closer and closer. Soon, an orange, cowboy hat-wearing pony emerged from the crowd and made her way to Phoenix. Quickly turning to face the crowd as she tried to force them to keep their distance, "Alright, everypony, show's over! Phoenix's got some 'fficial business he needs to take care of! Move along!"

A loud "Aww" emminated collectively from the crowd as they hung their heads low in disappoint. Slowly, the large gathering dispersed, each pony going back to their business, leaving just Phoenix and his savior together.

"Applejack, you're a lifesaver," Phoenix laughed as he ran his hands through his hair, "I thought they were gonna start taking pieces of me as souvenirs."

"Really looked like it, huh?" Applejack snickered, "Looks like I got here just in time."

"Yeah, speaking of that," Phoenix hummed, "What're you're doing up here? Manehattan doesn't seem like your kind of town."

"It certainly ain't," Applejack told, "But we've got family up 'ere and Apple Bloom really wanted to see her Cousin Babs so I thought I'd be a good big sister and take her up here. Ah just dropped her off and figured ah'd go on a walk when ah saw all the hubbub"

"Ah, gotcha. I hope I'm not keeping you from anything," Phoenix said

"'Course not. Not like ah've got a place I need to be. Besides, you're looking like you need some protection, don't ya?" Applejack laughed

"How chivalrous," Phoenix said as he rolled his eyes, "Thanks, AJ."

"My pleasure," Applejack said as she tipped her hat, "So, where're we heading?"

"Well, I was looking to see if I could find a certain ice rink," Phoenix told, "This place reminds me a lot of a city back on Earth so I was just wondering how similar it was."

"You mean the one down at Hoofefeller Center?" Applejack asked

Phoenix couldn't help but laugh. Hoofefeller Center? These ponies, man.

"That'd be the one," Phoenix nodded, a smile creeping across his face, "Hoofefeller Center.."

"Guessin' you've got a Hoofefeller Center back on Earth?"

"We called it Rockefeller Center but yeah. I'm guessing they're pretty similar," Phoenix laughed, "If memory serves me right we shouldn't be too far... I think we just need to go up a couple of blocks and we should be there."

"Ah ain't got the slightest clue where anything is, so lead the way," Applejack hummed

"I'll try my best," Phoenix smiled

Applejack smirked a bit as she looked around at the ponies staring excitedly at Phoenix, "So, how's having Princess Luna as a marefriend?"

"Terrible. Horrible. No good. Very bad," Phoenix groaned, "I mean, I get some tabloid paper making up a story to sell papers, but the Canterlot Gazette? Even they're in on it?"

"It's mighty crazy, ain't it?" Applejack laughed, "Twilight told me 'bout the first paper, she was not happy."

"Yeah, her and me both," Phoenix snorted as he rolled his eyes, "Tabloids really just make up anything, huh?"

"Seems so. Lemme tell ya, Twilight was fuming when she told me. She was waving the paper all 'round, goin' on and on 'bout how 'irresponsible' and 'hurtful' and 'against journalistic integrity' it was.

"Damn," Phoenix laughed a bit as he put a hand over his heart, "I know me and Luna dating is ridiculous, but she didn't have to say hurtful. I wouldn't hurt Luna's image that bad, would I?"

Applejack laughed right back, shaking her head, "That's ain't what she meant. She meant like, hurtful to her."

Phoenix frowned as he turned to Applejack, "Hurtful to her?"

"'Cording to Dash, when she told Twi about the 'news' she deflated like a balloon in winter. Said she was tearing up going on about how she was so hurt neither of you told her," Applejack told

"Jeez, poor Twilight," Phoenix sighed as he scratched his chin, "I guess I do tell her everything, don't I?"

"Apparently so," Applejack hummed, "She can't even imagine you hiding something from her, I guess."

"Yeah..." Phoenix said as he looked down, scratching the back of his neck

Applejack looked towards the human with a confused look. Just a moment ago he was all jokey and now he looked so down in the dumps he'd need to take three showers just to make a dent in the stench he undoubtedly got from it, "...Are you hiding something from her?"

"Everyone's got their secrets, AJ," Phoenix sighed as he looked back up, "I just don't want them to hurt her... Or anyone."

"Are ya comfortable telling me?" Applejack asked, "Maybe ah can do something for ya."

"Just spending sometime with me helps," Phoenix said as he smiled to the orange mare, "I'm not sure I'm ready to tell anyone yet, though..."

"That's alright. You don't needa be," Applejack told, "Like ya said, everypony's got their secrets,"

"Speaking of Twilight... How's she doing?" Phoenix asked as he cleared his throat, picking his tone back up

"Worrying like usual," Applejack laughed, "She's been doing this whole big investigation about why ya went on this whole walk."

Phoenix squinted a bit as he looked to Applejack, "...You're gonna have to elaborate on that."

"She's been goin' round town asking everypony if they noticed ya acting weird or if ya told them something. She's been writin' Princess Luna, too; tryna see if she noticed something in your dreams."

"That mare..." Phoenix shook his head, "If she thinks I'm crazy now, she's right about to join me..."

"Tell me about it," Applejack laughed, "She's been comin' upta me near everyday asking if ah 'member anything. Every time I tell 'er she knows more than anypony about you."

"Ah... I'm sorry," Phoenix sighed

"Not your fault. She's always been like this," Applejack told

"Yeah, but if I didn't go on this stupid trip she wouldn't be so worried..."

"Phoenix, it's alright. She's gotta deal with the fact that you're gonna do your own things."

Phoenix nodded as he looked up to the sky, she did have a point. He can't always be by her side and neither she at his. It didn't make him feel any better, though. She had done everything in her power to make him feel welcome and comfortable and in return he... Did this. The evidence kept piling up. He's not a good person. Maybe she'd be better of without him. Maybe everypony would be better off without him. All he seems to do is worry and stress them out. It's not fair to them.

"Phoenix? You there?" A voice called out

Shaking himself out of his head, Phoenix blinked and looked down to Applejack, only to see she wasn't by his side like before. He turned around and saw her standing in place, a concerned look on her face.

"O-Oh, sorry, AJ. Gotta a little lost in thought," Phoenix said with nervous laughter

"You gonna tell me what's goin on?" Applejack frowned

"N-nothing, I just do that sometimes, ya know?" Phoenix said

"Hogwash. Now come on and spit it out," Applejack demanded

Phoenix sighed as he looked down, refusing to look the pony in the eyes, "I just... I just feel I'm causing a lot more trouble than I'm worth."

Applejack blinked in surprise as she stared at the human, "Phoenix... I dunno where ya got that crazy idea stuck in your head, but you ain't causing any trouble... And even if ya were, you're worth it. Don't let anyone tell ya otherwise."

Phoenix laughed as he shook his head, "What'd I ever do to deserve friends like you?"

"Be a good friend back to us, that's what," Applejack hummed

"Is 'good' really the right word?" Phoenix snorted

"Ah can't think of a better one 'sides 'great' or 'awesome'," Applejack added

"Now you're just stroking my ego," Phoenix laughed, "But... Thanks, AJ. That really means a lot to me,"

"Course, Phoenix," Applejack smiled

"...Sister, was this really the best idea?" Celestia asked as she looked at a copy of the Canterlot Gazette.

"I think so," Luna hummed, "Now I won't have to try to bring in ponies to spy on Phoenix. The press will do it for me."

Celestia frowned as she looked down to the paper. Luna had a point, instead of trying to guess who may have seen Phoenix or even sending out guards to check on him, now everypony in Equestria would be looking out for him... Which she couldn't imagine Phoenix would be too thrilled about, "But what if Phoenix speaks to the press as well?"

"It will still take a few days for it to fall out of the news cycle. Either way, we'll know what Phoenix is up to and where he is," Luna told, "Besides, it's not like I confirmed we were a couple, now"

"You certainly implied it," Celestia said with a laugh, "What was it you said again? 'I assure the citizens of Equestria that my and Phoenix's relationship will be made public very soon~'"

"Something along those lines," Luna smiled, "And when the times comes, I'll simply announce that we are good friends. It will be on them for assuming we're dating. As Phoenix said, 'when you assume, you make an ass out of you and me'"

Celestia chuckled as she pushed the newspaper away, "Still, poor Phoenix is going to be very confused. You know how our ponies can get; they'll mob him!"

"He's a grown stallion. He can handle himself, I'm sure," Luna assured

"Can he though? He's certainly more on the gentler side, if I say so," Celestia told

"Oh? Perhaps we should have said that it was you and Phoenix in a relationship instead. It seems you're familiar with him... Intimately so," Luna smirked

Celestia blinked as she stared at her sister, unsure of what exactly she was implying. However, Luna's signature smirk tipped her off, causing her to blush, "Luna! T-That's! Don't be so crude, you know that's not what I meant!"

"Sorry, but I could not help myself," Luna laughed, "And you know Phoenix would be proud."

"I unfortunately do..." Celestia huffed, "But back on the subject... What exactly do you hope the press will tell you now that they're going to be swarming him,"

"His location. His state of health. His general demeanor," Luna listed, "Perhaps even quotes about his journey,"

"I know you mean the best, but... Doesn't this seem a bit devious? You could just ask him in his dreams," Celestia told

Luna shook her head, "In a dream, I can only see what Phoenix wants me to see and he will only say what he wants me to know. By having a waking-world source reporting on him and his actions, I will have the most accurate information."

Celestia looked at her sister, running her words through her mind. If she did want the most accurate information, this is certainly one way to go about it... But why is she so desperate to get this information? She understands that Luna must be concerned for Phoenix, but this seems like taking it a bit too far.

"Luna... Is there something you're not telling me?" Celestia asked

"What do you mean?" Luna frowned

"Ensuring Phoenix's safety is a noble idea and certainly something we both want, but there are much less intense and... Invasive ways of doing so. Why do you find it necessary to go through with all of this?"

Luna sighed as she looked to the floor, "I... I don't have evidence for my feelings. They are just that, feelings. But it would appear that, despite my joking at first, Phoenix has indeed lost something very important."

"And what would that be?"

"Himself."

Chapter 7: Alone with Your Dreams

It was quiet out. It tended to be when you were walking alone through the middle of nowhere during the night. Silence was not something Phoenix experienced too often as of recent. Since he discovered that seemingly all of Equestria began to think he was dating one of their princesses, almost every moment was filled with ponies either running up to him or shouting from afar. As much as Phoenix loved to talk with the natives of this foreign world, it quickly became old. Having to answer questions he didn't seem to have the answers to was one thing; having to do it over and over again with the same question was another.

"What's it like to date a princess?"

"How long have you and Princess Luna been together?"

"When did you figure out she was the one?"

It was cute at first, honestly. However, as the same question got asked over and over again and Phoenix had to give the same non-answer over and over again, he became annoyed. Not necessarily with the ponies, they didn't know better. He mostly became annoyed with himself. He wasn't able to give anypony a straight answer. They all seemed so... Excited. He didn't want to let them down by telling them they have it wrong... On the other hand, he didn't want to lie to them. So he tried to be as vague as possible with his responses. This just left both him and the star-struck pony disappointed and unfulfilled.

The ponies wishing to know more about Luna and his relationship wasn't the worst noise. Nor were the handful of news ponies that tried to get an interview with him that bad... It was the sycophants that tried to get him to be involved with some event they were planning that drove him up the wall. Of course, the stipulation of his invitation was that he had to bring Luna along. These ponies were either painfully unaware of their lack of subtlety or simply didn't care. Which one was worse was still up in the air.

How did the princesses handle these snobs? They must have been dealing with countless self-righteous nobles for longer than he's even been alive, yet he can't stand listening to one for five minutes. He supposed that's why they were princesses and he wasn't. Among other things, of course.

What in the world was Luna thinking? She must have known that her vague answer would seem like a confirmation of these seemingly out of nowhere rumors. What's her game here? Did she think it was funny? Maybe it is... A little. Is Phoenix missing something here? Maybe they are actually in a relationship and he's just too dense to realize it? Has he gone through some cultural ritual he's not aware of? If that was the case, Luna would probably already come to visit him by now... It's probably some joke.

"I wonder how Twilight's doing with this..." Phoenix mumbled

Applejack's report of Twilight almost breaking into tears when she heard the news definitely shook him a bit... So what if he was dating Luna? What's there to cry about? He did tell her everything... Maybe she was hurt he didn't tell her? That seems a bit much, even for Twilight. There's plenty of thing he kept to himself and Twilight was never upset about it... Though it would be hard to be upset about not knowing something if you don't know that you don't know. Nevertheless, Twilight knew he had secrets he kept from her. He's told her that... Which is usually followed by him confessing his secrets. Still, crying over it doesn't seem like Twilight.

Was she worried that he'd spend less time with her? That seemed a bit silly, there's no way she liked him that much... Was there? Thinking about it now, this is the longest he's ever spent away from Twilight since he arrived in Equestria. Nearly everyday, Phoenix had at least spoken to Twilight once...

Actually, there wasn't a day he didn't speak to her. That's a bit odd, isn't it? He didn't realize that until now. It's not like he went out of his way to see her everyday. They just always happened to bump into each other, or at least that's what he thought.

Did she make an effort to see him everyday? Why would anyone do that? He barely tolerates seeing himself everyday. What could possess a person, or pony for that matter, to try and see the same person everyday? As much as Phoenix loves Twilight and her friends, there are some days where being alone is nice. Twilight must really like him if she always went to see him everyday. He can understand checking in on him everyday when he first came to Equestria, he was as lost as a blind man in a corn maze. After he got the ropes though, he didn't really see the point of constant check ups. Maybe he was thinking too much into it. Maybe it really was all just a coincidence.

Not that he minded seeing Twilight, of course. He enjoyed his time with Twilight more than his time with any other pony. Especially enjoyed it more than being really alone like he his now... It wasn't just now, however, he felt so alone. This feeling of dread and loneliness has been haunting him for months. Ever since Celestia told him he couldn't go home... Even while constantly surrounded by friends for nearly every waking moment, the dark wave of true loneliness and dread continually loomed over his shoulder.

He hoped nopony had noticed this flood. He already had taken so much of their time and energy, he didn't want to take anymore. Luckily enough for him, it seemed like the flowing loneliness only flowed in him. His emotional dam, though certainly decommissioned for the most part, still kept others safe from the rushing emotions within him. Signs of wear and tear seemed to be present, though. Twilight seemed to be clingier than usual, offering him a permanent room in her castle, offering to take him to all her favorite places everyday, asking every time she saw him if he was okay.

Phoenix didn't like lying, let alone to Twilight. That didn't stop him from doing just that, however. Each time she asked, he lied to her. He told her everything was fine, that he was fine, that he didn't even want to go home anyway. That wasn't true. He wished he could go back and say goodbye to his friends and family. He wished he could have taken a step back from the world he viewed as dark and devoid of hope and been able to realize that the old world was just the opposite. It was bright and brimming with hope. Whether or not he contributed to it didn't matter. He did his best and that's what counts, naysayers be damned. He knew if he could just go back, he could do so much more... Be here he was, stuck in a land where nearly everything he thought was true was false and vice versa. What could he possibly do here?

It wasn't just Twilight who saw the cracks in his facade. Fluttershy caught him too. She spotted him on his way to the Everfree Forest and stopped him. She asked what was wrong and he lied. He said nothing was wrong, he just wanted to walk. Clearly, she knew something was wrong as she insisted on walking with him. So he let her...

If only he didn't.

Walking with her in silence left him to his thoughts. With the gentle mare by his side, he couldn't help but think how she would have reacted if she didn't catch him that night. She'd be horrified... And that horrified him. The thought that seemed so appealing when he first went out to do it turned his stomach into knots as he thought about how she would react. It shook him to his core... That night, he was too scared to be alone. He knew that if she left, the thoughts would return and he would have gone back out and finished his goal. If he did that, he wouldn't be on this stupid trip.

Why does Twilight always have to be right? Though she may not be right in the way she wants to be in this case. This was a bad idea. With more time to be alone and more time to think, the more confused and lost he became. He thought he wanted this... Now he doesn't know what he wants.

Maybe that's why he did it. Maybe a small part of him wanted to talk himself out of this. Somewhere deep down, there was a part of him that wanted to stay with his friends, that wanted to stay with Twilight. Now that he was out here alone, he recognized that part of him, but he couldn't help but also see the other part of him. The part that he knew all his life... Now being able to retreat into his own mind, he could step back and truly see who was in control, and he despised what he saw.

What he saw was himself.

That's who he was and still is. How could anyone like that part of him? That part that faced the world his whole existence? No amount of love for his friends could outweigh his hatred for that part of him. For himself...

If only Twilight was here. She'd know what to say. She always did. Even when she didn't, being in her presence always seemed to calm him down. It was like looking at her reminded him that the world hadn't ended and neither did his world. There was still something to look forward to... On Earth, he'd say that she reminded him that the sun still rises no matter what, but given that the sun rising is dependant on a certain pony raising it in Equestria, he refrains from using the phrase. Still, she did just that. She didn't even have to say anything, she just had to smile...

Shaking his head, Phoenix tossed the thought out of his head. He couldn't think about her like that - it'd make this journey all that harder. He can't handle making it any more difficult. If he continued down that path, he might just have to pick up his stuff and rush back to Ponyville... He knows he can't do that. He's already give up control to fate and he has to let fate show him the way. If it's meant to be, fate will certainly show him that.

This moment probably wasn't the best time to think about it. Phoenix had been walking for hours. He was tired, achey, and hungry; otherwise known as "not the best time to have an existential crisis." Once he found a clearing, he could sit down and rest. Maybe after a good night's sleep he'd feel better and less empty in the morning.

That was it... He was just tired. When he woke up, his doubts and odd infatuation with Twilight and what she's thinking would be gone.
~~~~~~

"Phoenix?" A voice called out in what felt like the endless void. The voice certainly sounded familiar... And was that voice sad? It sounded like it was holding back a sob, "Phoenix, please. Wake up,"

"Ugghh," Phoenix groaned as he peeked open his eyes, quickly being assaulted by the shining light of a nearby lantern. He tried to lift his arm up to block the sudden light, but a sudden pain kept him from continuing the motion. It looked like he was bandaged up... Something bad must have gotten him. When his eyes finally adjusted to the light and his vision unblurred, he saw he was in a bed... It wasn't his bed. Glancing around, he certainly could tell it wasn't his house. It looked familiar though. Very... Tree-like. Was this Fluttershy's cottage?

"P-Phoenix!" The voice sniffled, a sudden weight shifted the bed as he felt something soft, warm, and... damp, press up against his cheek, Two equally soft and warm, but not damp limbs went to his shoulders, "What were you thinking?"

"What?..." Phoenix asked in confusion. Once his mind finally caught up with what his eyes were seeing, he saw a certain purple pony pressed up against him, her cheek on his as she sobbed, "Twilight... I-I'm sorry,"

Twilight sniffled again as she pulled away and looked into his eyes, "Why? What were you doing out there?..."

Phoenix sighed as he looked away, "Don't make me answer that... Please."

"I'm sorry. T-this is all my fault. I should have known you were struggling. I should have d-done more."

"Don't you dare," Phoenix said through gritted teeth, "Don't... You did everything you could have done... You did more than you should've... I did this to myself. I don't deserve you..."

"Phoenix..." Twilight mumbled as tears began to pour from her eyes, "I'm so sorry. I'm so so sorry. I-I've been an awful friend."

Phoenix frowned as he looked at the mare in confusion, "What are you talking about? You're an amazing friend Twilight; an amazing pony. It's just... I'm not. I'm nothing like you. I'm an awful friend and an awful person."

"No, you're not!" Twilight sobbed as she buried her face into his chest, "I-I'm so sorry for making you feel like you are. Like that you don't deserve friends... I've failed you, Phoenix. I'm s-so sorry."

"Twilight, stop it," Phoenix said in almost a whisper, tears threatening to come from his own eyes now, "You did everything you could and more... I just... I can't be saved."

"Phoenix!" Twilight choked as she looked up, "Don't say that! P-Please, just. Give me another chance. I promise I can make things better."

Phoenix sighed. "T-Twilight, I... You already made things amazing. I just... It's really not you. If it wasn't for you, I'd... I won't say what for your sake..."

"Please... Stay with me, Phoenix. If not for your sake then for mine," Twilight whimpered.

~~~~~~
"Was that your purpose for heading towards the Everfree Forest that night?"

Phoenix frowned as he looked around; he was no longer in bed with Twilight nor was he bandaged up anymore. He was standing in a black, starry sky like nothing ever happened, "W-What?"

"Is this truly your greatest reserve about ending your own life?" A voice called, "You're worried Twilight will blame herself?"

"What is happening?!" Phoenix called out in a mix of frustration and confusion

A sudden swirl of stars appeared before Phoenix, taking form in the shape of Princess Luna, as the stars so often did, "Please Phoenix, relax and talk to me. We can get through this together."

Phoenix glared at the pony as she approached him, a gentle and concerned look on her face, "There's nothing to get through."

"Phoenix, we both know that's not true," Luna frowned

"You shouldn't know that," Phoenix groaned, "What gives you the right to go snooping around in my dreams?"

"I don't just appear in any bad dream, Phoenix. I appear when a pony in distress calls out for me," Luna told as she approached, "Maybe you didn't call out to me, but some part of you did. Some part of you wants help... No, some part of you needs help."

"Well, looks like you got it wrong this time. No part of me wants help. There's nothing to help. Just leave me alone," Phoenix said as he crossed his arms.

"I can't in good conscious leave you alone. You just revealed to me that you intended to end your own life by walking into the Everfree Forest alone," Luna reminded

"I didn't reveal anything to you!" Phoenix shouted

Luna took a step back in surprise. She had never seen Phoenix get angry before, let alone hear him shout. The look in his eyes was a look she had never seen in a creature. It was rage, but not pure rage. Behind the rage was something else... Something like...

Fear.

This mix of rage and fear was all held together by two white, shaking orbs. Despite the emotions clouding his eyes, Luna could see right through them. Past those eyes, she saw a creature in turmoil and pain, one crying for help, but couldn't break out past those spheres of rage and fear.

"Phoenix... I'm sorry if you feel I've invaded your privacy, but I promise you my presence is in good faith. Please, just talk to me... In the morning I can send ponies to come and get you so we can further discuss with Twilight."

"No," Phoenix said sternly, "Absolutely not. I'm seeing this through until the end and I'm not taking any help."

"And what is the end, Phoenix?" Luna asked

"I don't know," Phoenix told as he looked away, "It's Crystal Empire or bust."

"Bust being your death, I'm assuming?"

Phoenix sighed as he looked away, the anger slipping from his face, "If that's what fate has in mind..."

"And how do you think Twilight is going to react to this news?" Luna asked as she tilted her head, "It seems like you care very much about how she'll react."

Phoenix froze in place as he turned slowly to face the pony, the previously disappearing anger coming back, "What are you trying to say, Luna?"

"I'm just saying that if it isn't me who is going to stop you, it will be Twilight... Your nightmare will become real."

"And you're going to tell her everything, are you?" Phoenix asked, staring Luna directly in the eyes

"I have to, Phoenix," Luna said solemnly

Phoenix shook his head as he took a step towards Luna, the rage building back up in his face, "Listen to me, I don't care that you're a goddamn princess. I don't care that you're powerful enough to lift the moon and walk dreams. You're dealing with a man who has nothing to lose."

Phoenix stomped up to Luna, bending over slightly as he pointed a finger at her, getting into her personal space, "But if you tell Twilight a word of what you saw... I don't know if you ponies believe in ghosts or the after life or whatever, but either way, I will haunt your conscious for the rest of your life. I promise you, you will never know a moment of peace nor the solace of rest ever again. Do I make myself clear, princess?"

Luna stood in shock as she stared at Phoenix, finger hovering just in front of her muzzle. Nopony nor any creature had ever spoken to her like that... Not even her own sister during her time as Nightmare Moon. Phoenix was right about one thing, he was a creature with nothing to lose. He didn't care about the consequences because as far as he was concerned, he would never face them. Luna felt a lump rise in her throat as she looked to the human pleadingly, silently begging him to reconsider, but the determination and anger in his eyes refused to die down.

"Phoenix... I'll respect your wishes. I will not tell Twilight and I will not interfere... I can tell that any action I might take will only ensure your demise," Luna said as she looked down, "Just know that... I consider you a very close friend. No amount of hostility you show towards me in this trying time will change that. I understand you're trying to distance yourself from me in case the worst does happen, but I promise you that I will be waiting for you at the Crystal Empire, cheering you on from a distance the entire way."

Phoenix sighed as he dropped his finger to his side and straightened his back, a resign look plastered his face as he looked away, "Why does everyone have to make this so hard..."

"We're not making it hard. It has always been hard..." Luna told, after a moment of silence, a cheeky smile spread across her face, "That's what she said."

Phoenix snorted loudly as he tried to cover his smile with his hand. He quietly shook his head as he dropped his hand to reveal his large grin, "God damnit, Luna. I'm trying to be mad with you over here."

"Phoenix, if I can't use anything in my power to stop you from this suicide march, then I'll do anything in my power to make sure you don't die mad," Luna said, her cheeky smile turning into a sympathetic one.

Phoenix sighed as he looked to the princess, a soft smile still on his face, "I don't know how you ponies do it... You always manage to make me feel just a little better."

"It's not just ponies... That's what it's like to open yourself up to your friends, to people you care about," Luna told

Phoenix took a deep breath as he rubbed his face and craned his neck upwards as if he was trying to look to the sky, "Luna, just... Y'know, despite Twilight and I being best friends and all, I always felt like you were gonna be the pony who was gonna break me. I tried so hard to be cold and distant, but every time we spoke... God, I just wanted to drop the whole act and have fun. I really hated it... It made everything hard... Or I guess it just made me realize what I was doing was hard. I don't know what it is about you, but I just felt like... I felt like you understood me."

"I suppose because I do understand you," Luna said as she took a step towards him, "I know what it's like to feel as if you don't belong in a new world. To feel like a monster... To question everything you've ever done. Though you never spoke it or even shown it, I could sense it. I treated you the way I wished to be treated... Does that sound familiar?"

"Too familiar," Phoenix said with a half-hearted laugh

Luna smiled as she stood on her hind legs and wrapped her forelegs around Phoenix, resting her muzzle on his shoulder. Phoenix sighed as he hugged back, nuzzling his cheek against hers as he closed his eyes. He never realized how much he missed real hugs like this... God, how long has it been?

"I think it's time I let you return to your slumber," Luna said with a small laugh, returning back to her hooves, "I shall see you next time in the Crystal Empire. I'm sure Twilight will be with me, eager to see your arrival."

"I hope so, Luna..." Phoenix said with a sigh, "I really do."

Chapter 8: The Deafening Silence

Despite having seen many in his lifetime, one thing Phoenix never got used to was just how loud waterfalls were. To him, waterfalls were supposed to be serene and relaxing, and they were, really, but he never seems to remember just how these falls can roar; Neighagra falls was no exception. Phoenix stood at the top of the falls, leaning on the railing separating the paved walkway from the natural land leading to the falls. Typically, Phoenix would try and avoid loud noises such as waterfalls; he could barely hear himself think and he didn't like that. Right now, however, Phoenix welcomed the deafening tear drowning out his mind. So much had happened in so little time and he was having trouble making heads or tails of it. First the fundraiser, then Rainbow Dash spilling the beans about Twilight's crush, then his surprise relationship with Princess Luna, and worst of all was his secret coming to the same Princess's attention.

Phoenix's world had already turned upside down long ago. Now, his world was spinning out of control. As much as Phoenix wanted to numb his mind as he stared out towards the waterfall, his mind kept whirling, the world around him becoming a blur as his vision focused on one single thing: Twilight Sparkle. Luna promised she wouldn't say anything... But would she really keep it a secret? Phoenix had no reason to distrust her, but Phoenix knew that if he were in Luna's position, he wouldn't be able to just remain silent.

There's nothing he wouldn't give right now to hear her speak about some obscure topic she was studying. Even when everything soared far over his head, he couldn't help put smile and listen to the mare as she excitedly explained the long history of Starswirl the Bearded or went through the steps of how to properly calculate the speed and velocity of a passing comet. Even better was the way her face lit up when he asked a question on what she was explaining, as if the confirmation of him paying attention and absorbing the information elated her to no end. It was those small moments that kept Phoenix going... Just knowing that he could see that smiling mare soar with excitement at the simplest of questions fueled his drive to get out of bed.

A part of his mind was screaming at him: "Turn around now. Go back to Twilight and tell her everything." Another part told him to keep going, let fate play out; he had already made it this far. The loudest part of him was screaming for him to do something else, "Don't go back to Twilight, don't let fate take control... You're already at the edge, what's one more step?" It was this part of him that Phoenix wished to muffle with the crashing of the falls. As confused as he was, Phoenix knew that booming voice was wrong, one more step would ruin everything. Not just in this journey, but in his whole life. The more he thought about it, the more guilt washed over him; how could he even think about doing something like this to her? The more he thought, the more he just wanted to turn back to her. He just wanted to hold her in his arms, confess everything to her... to cry in front of her for the first time ever. Just imagining it sent a feeling of catharsis through his body... He couldn't even picture how good it would feel if he actually did it. But that wouldn't be fair to her; she didn't ask for any of his emotional baggage. Hell, he didn't ask for it either. It wasn't fair to just drop everything on her. That's why he's on this journey.

Taking a deep breath, Phoenix stood up straight and rolled his shoulders. He looked around at his surroundings, ponies were looking at him, taking a quick peek before looking away and smiling to their friend. Phoenix sighed as he picked his bag off the ground, threw it back over his shoulders, and continued forward towards the Crystal Mountains within his vision. The hardest part of his journey was coming up and he was not looking forward to it at all. Phoenix kept his gaze forward and he walked briskly away from the falls, trying to seem like a man on a mission so no one would come up and ask him about Luna again... The novelty of that situation had quickly worn off. It was long before he found himself on a dirt road, alone. The road winded up hills that progressively got taller and taller, the air becoming colder and colder as he went. Phoenix glanced at his backpack for a moment, considering putting on the winter coat Rarity had made for him, but before he could even begin to think, a familiar voice called out to him.

"Phoenix!" The voice shouted, followed by the sound of a quick trot.

Phoenix turned around, only to be met with a full force impact of a dark blue blur as a pair of legs wrapped around his shoulders. Phoenix instinctively returned the hug, despite the immense displeasure he felt about the certain pony in his presence, "...What happened to cheering me on from a distance and not interfering?" Phoenix asked with a sour tone.

"I'm sorry," Princess Luna sighed as she rested her muzzle against his shoulder, "But I couldn't stand being apart from you, my love."

"...Excuse me?" Phoenix frowned as he looked to the Princess of the Night. Was he really just dense and the two were actually in a relationship and he didn't realize? Was this her idea of a joke or a prank? Whatever it was, he was not amused.

"I know you're on this journey to prove yourself a worthy mate... But I just had to see you once more!" Luna pronounced proudly. Phoenix's frown deepened as he lightly pushed Luna of his shoulder, causing her to frown as she returned to all fours and looked up to him, "Is something wrong, love?"

Phoenix looked at Luna with a raised eyebrow, even for Luna, this "prank" was going a bit far... and seemed a bit to convincing. Something was clearly wrong.

"No... I'm just surprised to see you." Phoenix said plainly.

"Oh, of course. I apologize. Had I been able to send you a message beforehoof I would have, but you're a very hard human to track down," Luna told

Phoenix laughed a bit as he scratched the back of his head, "I am a bit all over the place, huh?"

"You certainly are," Luna confirmed with a smile, "You're looking very healthy. This journey must be doing wonders for you!"

Phoenix's eyes darted around the landscape, trying to see if he could spot any other creature: a guard, the paparazzi, just a random pony... Nothing. "Yeah... It is," Phoenix said as his anxiety rose, "Sorry I'm being unresponsive... I'm a bit tired."

Luna took a step back and examined Phoenix quickly, nodding in agreement, "I can see. Perfectly reasonable. I know! Come with me, we can find a nice private place to relax and take a nap together."

"...I don't know who's standing in front of me, but it sure as hell ain't Luna..."

Phoenix swallowed as he glanced around once again, his gaze finally landing on a spot of woods which Luna seemed to be eyeing. Going with somepony who doesn't seem to be Luna into a secluded area was the opposite of a good idea as far as Phoenix was concerned... However, to Phoenix, this also seemed like a stick up. He had no weapons nor the strength to fight back against whatever creature was impersonating his friend and impersonating her badly at that.

"I'm not sure... I've got a lot more I need to travel if I'm gonna make it on time," Phoenix sighed forcefully as he looked towards the mountains.

"Nonsense! You can have a quick rest with your love, can't you?" Luna asked as she stepped closer and batted her eyelashes

"...Uh..." Phoenix frowned as he took a step back.

"What is it, dear?... Do... Do you not love me?" Luna asked, an odd tone in her voice

"You should know the answer to that, Luna," Phoenix responded, "That is... If you are Luna. But uh, you're not Luna, are you? Twilight told me about you guys. What are you called?... Shifties? No, that's not right."

Luna's gaze shifted down as a sad expression grew across her face, "Changelings..."

Phoenix snapped his fingers and nodded, "Right, Changelings! That's it."

Before he could add anything more, the pony before Phoenix erupted in a colored flame, the visage of Luna disappeared and was replaced with a solemn faced, bug-like pony, much smaller than any of the normal ponies Phoenix had seen, "Oh man..." The changeling groaned in a new voice, almost sounding like a pubescent male teenager, "What am I supposed to do now?"

Phoenix frowned as he looked around, scanning to see if there was anycreature he could ask for help, but it seemed like he and the black-bug pony were the only living being around. Looking back at the creature, he seemed to have have completely laid down on his stomach, hooves covering his eyes as he sniffled. Phoenix didn't know what this changeling had planned, but clearly his intents were not pure. Who knows what the creature would have done to him if he played along. Still, the human felt bad for the trembling changeling in front of him. This little creature seemed... Frightened. Phoenix sighed as he squatted down and sat on his rear. Looking to the changeling, Phoenix finally spoke up, "What's your name, bud?"

"S-Spiracle," the changeling responded, tilting his head away from him

"Hey, Spiracle," Phoenix said with a small smile, "What's wrong?"

Spiracle froze a bit, only shifting slightly as he wiped his eyes, "Y-You saw right through me! W-Was I that obvious?"

Phoenix sighed a bit as he leaned back on his palms, looking up as he thought of his response, "Yeah... But not because you were doing a bad job."

"Wha-What?" Spiracle asked as he sat up

"Listen, if you were trying to convince anyone else, you probably would've gotten them... It's just that you had some bad info," Phoenix told, "I guess you saw those newspapers, yeah?"

"W-Well, I didn't. But Queen Chrysalis did! S-she said it was a sure thing and it'd be easy!" Spiracle told, "Sh-She said if I failed... To not bother coming back..."

Phoenix nodded in understanding as he took in the information, "That's really rough, buddy. It's just that... Those papers weren't true at all; just tabloids."

"Tab-loids?"

"Yeah, they're just glorified gossip basically," Phoenix told, "Luna and I... We don't have that kind of relationship going. Sorry."

"Why?! Why me?!" Spiracle sobbed, "What am I supposed to do without the hive?"

Phoenix sat in silence, watching the grieving changeling as he tried to think of an answer for him... Based on his conversations with Shining Armor and Cadence, he couldn't bring Spiracle with him to the Crystal Empire, but he couldn't just leave him here alone... Even if he did just try to capture him, "I have an idea," Phoenix told, "I think we can both help each other out here."

"Really?" Spiracle asked as he looked up, wiping his eyes once again

"Here's what we do," Phoenix said as he clapped his hands together, "You go back to your hive and you tell your Queen that those newspapers she saw were a trap. They were made specifically to trap her. Luckily, you managed to spot hidden corps of guards waiting to capture you and the rest of the changelings. After some recon, you were able to tell that there's a high presence of guards in this area and that everyone needs to retreat until the guards realize there's nothing for them here. It's a win-win. I get to go on my way and you get to be a hero."

"That... That actually sounds like a good idea..." Spiracle sniffled as he stood up, his legs still shaking, "But... I-I can't lie to Queen Chrysalis!"

Phoenix nodded slowly as he ran his tongue against his teeth in thought, "I get it... But she hasn't left you much as a choice has she? You can't go back to her without me... And I really doubt you could go back without me and tell her to her face that she gave you bad information. I think that'd be even worse than coming back with nothing. If you really want to get back to your hive, it kinda seems like she's forcing you to lie."

"Can't you just... Come back with me?" Spiracle asked, a forced nervous smile on his face

"Absolutely not."

"Figures..." Spiracle sighed, "You're right... I have to lie. I don't have a choice."

Phoenix sighed as he slowly got to his feet, "Sorry it has to go like this, but... I think this is just how it has to go."

Spiracle nodded as he looked over his shoulder, back to the patch of woods he previously tried to lead Phoenix into, "Yeah, I know..."

"I'm sure we'll bump into each other again someday," Phoenix said with a laugh

"Oh definitely," Spiracle chortled, "Well... Till next time."

Phoenix watched as the changeling turned to the woods and began flying away. Once Spiracle disappeared into the tree line, he finally sighed a breathe of relief, "Now where was I?..."

Right, the Crystal Mountains.

Phoenix looked up towards the snowy giants, unconsciously taking off his backpack as he walked towards the mountains. Another cold wind blew past him, causing him to shiver. Looking into the bag once again, he saw Rarity's coat... Now with no interruptions, Phoenix had to make a decision. He left Ponyville without a coat on purpose. The Crystal Empire wasn't really his destination. The mountains were. Looking down at the bag, Phoenix sighed. This was supposed to be the end of his hike.

It's what he planned.
~~~~~
"Luna!" A commanding voice called out, causing the Princess of the Night to jump in her seat and look towards the source of the voice, "Sister! You scared me!"

"You've been scaring me!" Celestia retorted, "I've been standing here calling your name for minutes! What are you reading?"

"It's... A newspaper," Luna answer plainly.

"Has something happened that we need to address?" Celestia asked as she entered the room, taking the paper into her magic.

"Not yet," Luna said as she turned took look away from her sister.

"Rumors of a Changeling Spotted Near Neighagra Falls... No indication of such Changeling has been spotted as of yet" Celestia frowned as she scanned over the paper, "That's where Phoenix is, isn't it?... Do you think he may have been?"

"No, read the next article," Luna sighed

"Human Watch: Phoenix the Human Seen Climbing the Crystal Mountains..." Celestia read, "Well, that's good news isn't it? He's on track to reach the Crystal Empire."

"We can only hope."

Celestia set down the paper as she examined her sister and her sunken demeanor, "What do you mean?"

"I'm not at liberty to discuss the details," Luna said as she looked to the ground.

"...You talked with him, I gather," Celestia deduced, "And he's sworn you to secrecy?"

"That is correct."

"Should we be concerned?" Celestia asked

"...Gravely, sister... Gravely."

"Then I'll be sending out a team to find him at once," Celestia said affirmatively as she went to exit the room.

"No!" Luna called out, "You can't. I made a promise."

"If he's in grave danger then why would you make such a promise?" Celestia asked, frustration in her voice

"Please... If you send guards to take him, you will just ensure the worst possible outcome... He does not want help."

"I need to at least check on him," Celestia insisted

"A regiment won't be able to do that effectively, by the time they're deployed they'll have no chance of tracking him down," Luna told, "It's too late, sister."

Celestia stared at Luna in disbelief, very rarely had she ever seen Luna seem so defeated. Yet her she was, saying that Phoenix, one of her dearest friends, is in danger, and she cannot help him as she's tied her own hooves, "Well... Unfortunately for me... And Phoenix, I think a know a creature who may be able to help us"

Author's Note

Thanks to Edward Sapphire for the idea of this chapter! Hope everyone has had a good new years!