Sombra’s Ferocious Rant on his Losses in Battle

Chapters

My First Defeat (and it was bad...)
My Second Defeat
My Final Defeat
How I Fucked up in Canterlot

My First Defeat (and it was bad...)

Author's Note

I’m feeling really stressed right now. Anyways; enjoy the story, and stay safe. Peace

My First Defeat (and it was bad...)

Hey y’all, it’s your villain: King Sombra here. Now; I know what you’re thinking: “how is he still alive?” “How is he not defeated completely?” Or as any other worthless ponies would say; “how in the actual fuck is he not really dead?” Well... I’ll tell y’all. And if any of this gets out to Celestia, then you are dead! Anywho; here’s how I came back. Pandemic and magic; that’s how. Now then; I have some very interesting stories to tell you about my defeat. Wanna know how? Well... here’s a story on how I was defeated for the first time. Ready? Here we go... .

You see; it all started on a bright, and crisp sunny day; (if you can call it that when I was ruling over the Crystal Empire, hahaha). Anyways; I was just minding my own business; watching over all of my subjects who’re in chains, and loathing around; when suddenly I saw something in the distance. I honestly couldn’t tell what it was until it was too late. Next thing I knew; I was deep underground within the frozen north. I was so angry, so fucking angry. So angry; that I once made an earthquake happen from underneath the ice. I don’t know how that’s supposed to work, but hey; if it has to do something with my magic, then so be it. Anywho; that my friends, (or ponies/future slaves), is how I was defeated for the first time. The second and last time? I’ll let y’all know soon. But for now; peace out. And see y’all suckers soon.. hopefully... .

My Second Defeat

Hey there ponies; King Sombra here. Now; before I can get into details on my second defeat; let me tell y’all something first. Like for starters; how in the hell are the dungeons so dark all the time? I mean; I honestly am astonished, and surprised that you ponies can see that clearly in the dark. Hell; I couldn’t; if Tartarus was still called hell. Secondly; the food in the dungeons taste so good. And here I thought that prison food was supposed to be bad. Oh well. Also; I saw a stallion nearly get really messed up by a much bigger stallion who was angry at him for stealing his tater tots. And lastly; I honestly thought that the beds were uncomfortable or otherwise. I guess not... . Who knew? Speaking of which; here is my story on how I was defeated the second time. Here it is... .

After a thousand years, (give or take), I’m apparently just so incredibly angry at that point, that I just manifested into a crazed smoke screen made out of shadow. Crazy right? Who knew? Anywho; I was so incredibly angry at my defeat; that I apparently couldn’t talk for fucks sake. And if any of that gets out to Celestia too, then you’re finished. Anyways; back to my story... .

I was so angry; that I was apparently a big smoke screen of shadow, and one with few words to speak like “crystals”, or some shit like that. Anyways; like I was saying: I was so angry that I became what I was back then. And since my second defeat; I was reduced to nothing but a oversized horn for a while.

Anyhow; that’s my story. Oh fuck; the guards are lining us up. I’ll be right back with the final story of my defeat. Peace out.

My Final Defeat

Hey guys.. I’m back. Well... I’m getting released soon. To where? Fuck knows. But.. what I do know is that this final defeat of mine was so bad; that I literally punched a guard in the muzzle, and gotten myself solitary confinement for a whole day just by thinking about it. Anywho; here’s is my final defeat story. Oh, and I’ll definitely write something down about how I was brought back for the fourth, (and hopefully final time), in very specific details. Trust me... . And so; here’s the story.

I was basically in limbo for who knows how long. But... when I saw a light; I just knew that I was being freed from limbo. And so; I was freed, and tasked with working together with other villains to control all of Equestria. Well... I was gonna team up with them... . But my dumbass self thought it’d be nice to do it all alone. And guess what happened to me... . Right into the fucking ground!

Me again.. sorry. I gotten my sentence extended, and now I’m here for another week; whoop fucking wee. Anyways; I’m gonna go cool off with a nap, and write down on how I was brought back, and thrown into prison. Wanna know how? Then be patient. Anywho; I’m gonna nap, and catch y’all soon, I think... . Peace.

How I Fucked up in Canterlot

Hey guys.. King Sombra here. Now then; before I get into any gruesome details about how I’ve landed myself in the joint; here’s how I came back after my defeat.

Again; I was in limbo, and basically just floating around in dead space for a while. So; when I saw a light again; I saw that as my chance, and gotten out of limbo. However; once I got out; I’ve noticed a lot of things happening. One is that the ponies around me are wearing masks. Two is that there’s a unicorn child in front of me who looks obviously sick. And lastly; the skies are all grey, gloomy, and cloudy too. Not to mention that the royal guards have masks too; (albeit scary looking. Yikes).

And so; with that in mind; that’s how I got back from my defeat. How did I wind up here? Simple. I was arrested for just simply returning. Fuck them am I right? Heh... . Anywho; hope this story helps, and I’ll probably see you ponies when I’m released. Peace out... .

Hello there; this is Princess Celestia. Just wanted to let you ponies know that stumbled upon this is that King Sombra is currently waiting in line for his release, and will be let out shortly. I’m so proud of him for cooperating, and making a change in the prison by pointing out some of the things in this scroll. He’s such a nice stallion, and I hope that he keeps his good behavior. Anywho; gotta run now; King Sombra has started another fight. Anyways, tata. And stay safe out there.