Dirty Love

by Rimmer

Rating: mature
Tags: Sex, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Princess Cadance, Romance, Princess Luna, Porn, Fetish
Length: 4153

After encountering a fetish-fueled dream, Princess Luna asks for Cadence's help to solve an unusual love problem.

After encountering a fetish-fueled dream, Princess Luna discovers she might be interested in a few more taboo fantasies than she originally thought. Not knowing who else to turn to, she asks for Cadence's help to solve an unusual love problem.

Rimmer's First, Non-Annual Hearts and Hooves Day Special Feature

TRIGGERS: Scat, Watersports, Mentions of Princest, Rimming, Cunnilingus, Magical Penetration, Anal, Squirting, Voyeurism, Light Farting, (Brief) M/F Creampie

Published 2021-02-14 20:40:00 UTC
Last updated 2021-02-14 20:40:00 UTC

The Power of (Dirty) Love

"Oh, fuck yeah, Big Mac!" Applejack screamed in pleasure. "Plow mah field! Plant that hot seed!"

Big Mac grunted as he furiously thrusted in and out of his sister, slamming his cock as hard and as deep as it could go into her loose and drooling pussy. His balls tightened as he approached his orgasm, and his humping sped up.

"Oooooooh, give it to me big bro," Applejack moaned loudly, throwing her head back. "Cum inside!"

With a grunt, Big Mac hilted himself inside her, tensing as he began to pump his filly batter inside. "Eeeyup," he whispered through a moan. His cock throbbed, pulsing as it shot rope after rope of warm cum deep into Applejack's receptive womb. He held himself there as his balls emptied, sliding out only when his dick had stopped ejaculating. A spurt of off-white cum spurted out as he removed his flared head from Applejack's gaping cunt, dribbling down and pooling on the ground beneath her.

Applejack squeezed her lower muscles, and a deluge of cum pushed itself out of her pussy with a grotesque squelch. "Ooooh yeah... Back that ass up o'er here and fertilize mah field, Mac," Applejack commanded huskily.

After a moment of recovering from his post-orgasm haze, Big Mac obliged. He turned around and flipped his small tail up and out of the way, baring his thick, stallion pucker to his sister. With a squat and a grunt, he began to push, a soft puff of anal air squeezing its way out ahead of the thick log of horse shit. His diet of exclusively apples and hay left his waste softer than most, and it smeared on his wrinkled anus as it pushed forward.

The soft turd slid out of his asshole, before breaking off and falling squarely on Applejack's creampied pussy with a dull squish. A second one quickly followed the first, falling from his ass and draping over the first one. Applejack cooed at the dirty warmth it spread on her loins. A few more horseapples tumbled out of his gaping anus, and Applejack scooted forward to collect those on her teats and stomach.

Big Mac punctuated the end of his relief with a wet, sputtering fart. Applejack quickly leaned up before he could step away, and began to lap at his messy asshole eagerly. She scraped the muck off with her tongue, rolling it around in her mouth as she licked more and more off.

Unbeknownst to the two farmers, somepony was watching them a few paces away. Princess Luna was hidden in the doorway of the barn, observing the two of them as they engaged in their dirty play.

This is most fascinating, Luna thought to herself as she watched the orange farmpony tongue-bathe her brother's dirty butt with reckless abandon. The scene was stirring some interesting feelings inside her, notable focused around her genital region. This would require additional study.

The Princess of the Night left the dreamscape, and quickly penned a letter to the only pony she could think of who might have expertise in such affairs. Her quill scratched against the parchment quickly, eagerly writing down her request. Luna read it over twice, making sure it was phrased properly before nodding with a slight hum and rolling up up neatly.

She levitated a candle to her, tipping it over the rolled scroll. The molten wax dripped onto the seam, and Luna sealed it tightly with her royal seal. She lit her horn to magically sent the message to the Crystal Empire, where hopefully Princess Cadence would read it in the morning.

Sure enough, come dawn, Luna received a reply.

Luna,

I'd be happy to help with any amorous problems you may have! By the time you get this letter, I'll have hopped on the first train to Canterlot! I'll see you soon!

-Cadence

True to her word, Princess Cadence arrived on the train to Canterlot later that morning. The royal guard met her at the station, and escorted her up to Luna's private chambers. A pleasant array of tea and cakes had been set out, and Cadence quickly helped herself to the refreshments.

"Sorry," she said after scoffing down a few of her cakes. "I haven't eaten yet today."

"Please, help yourself," Luna said in reply, gesturing to the platter. "We have plenty." Cadence did just that, taking a long sip of tea as she reached for another cake.

"So what's the problem you spoke about in your letter?" she asked, taking another sip of tea.

"You are aware that we regularly engage in coitus with our sister, do you not?" Luna asked. Cadence nearly spit out her tea at the sheer bluntness of the comment, looking at her fellow princess to see if she was joking. The deadpan look on Luna's face told her she was not.

"Er, uh... no. I wasn't aware... of that," Cadence replied awkwardly. "Is that the, um... problem here?"

Luna sighed, taking a long sip of her tea. "We are aware of the societal norm surrounding our unorthodox partnership, but our mating is hardly a problem between the two of us." She gestured with a hoof. "We wish to introduce something more... into our sexual rituals."

"Something... more..." Cadence prompted.

"Something more flavorful, would be the best term we suppose."

Cadence was not normally one to feel awkward or squeamish at the talk of sex, but the way that Luna was choosing to go about this conversation had a borderline uncomfortable nature to it. "Flavorful?" she finally managed to ask, prompting Luna to continue.

"Yes, Cadenza, flavorful," Luna confirmed. "We mainly wish to experience our sister's feces in a sexual nature, among other new taboos."

Oh thank God was that all? Cadence thought to herself in relief. She had no idea where Luna was going with the flavor idea, and had been growing increasingly concerned. "Oh, alright," she said. "Sexual fetishes like this are nothing to be ashamed of, Luna."

"We are well aware," Luna replied. "However, we still wish to approach the matter with some delicacy," she explained. "We are going to inquire to our sister about it in the near future. She has somewhat of what you may call a 'naughty streak,' herself, so she will most likely agree to try this at least once. Hopefully, we can encourage her to do so more often should this be enjoyable for us. After all, it is one of the few things we have not engaged in previously, and we do believe she might be open to-"

The pink alicorn held up a hoof to pause Luna's rambling. "I'm afraid I don't understand," Cadence said. "You seem to know what you're planning, and how you're going to do it. What do you need my help for?"

"Well, we cannot be unprepared for when we enact this plan," Luna replied simply. "We want you to defecate for us."

Cadence simply stared at Luna in response. She had absolutely no idea how to reply to that. "Uh, what?"

Luna waved her hoof in the air, repeating herself. "We would like to watch you defecate before us," she repeated, as if it was the most obvious thing ever.

"Uh, what?" she said again. "Why?"

With a sigh, Luna explained herself. "Being as old as we are, there are very few things we have yet to experience. Fewer and fewer lines for us to cross in terms of our relationship. We have encountered this experience in a dream several times, and we believe that this is a way for us to increase our intimacy with our sister."

"Oh," Cadence said. "That's... kinda sweet."

Luna nodded. "That is why we require your help. This is very important to us, and we wish not to make a fool of ourselves by going headstrong into this endeavor with our lover herself."

"So you're asking for my help to experience it, and see if it really is the right thing for you?" Cadence clarified. "I guess... I guess I could help with that."

"Oh thank you very much, Princess Cadenza," Luna said, a tinge of excitement in her voice. "Shall we begin at once?"

Cadence nodded. "I guess so. Also, please, call me Cadence."

"Of course, Cadence. As you keep reminding us," Luna said as she stood and headed over to the center of her bedroom. "Here should be perfectly fine."

Cadence stood, following Luna's lead. "Right in here? On the rug? You don't want to go to the bathroom or anything?" she asked, uncertain.

"Nope! We can clean whatever unsavory mess we might make with our magic!" Luna exclaimed as Cadence turned around before her.

"Alright, well, here goes nothing," Cadence said as she stood in front of Luna and raised her tail up. She found herself feeling surprisingly shy as she revealed her nethers to her fellow princess, but couldn't exactly pinpoint why. Perhaps it was the strangely personal nature of what she was about to do, or even perhaps it was her first time doing anything like this. Regardless, she powered through the feeling and gently pushed on her rectum.

Nothing happened for a few moments. Luna watched as Cadence's anus flexed a few times, anticipating what was to come. What she did not expect, however, was the massive, booming fart that exploded into her face. The gust of anal wind blew into her, knocking her back for a moment in surprise.

Cadence quickly flipped her tail down to cover her hindquarters, blushing profusely. "Oh my gosh! I'm so sorry! I had no idea.. I mean... I didn't mean to..." she trailed off, covering her mouth with her hooves as she watched Luna recover from the unexpected blast.

"It is of no concern," Luna replied, spacily. "That was actually quite fortunate. We are bound to encounter similar... instances if we continue to partake in this indulgent." She sniffed at the air, the sour scent of Cadence's fart tickling her nostrils. To her surprise, she found that the smell was not all that off-putting. As a matter of fact, she might even say that it was slightly arousing. She leaned in

"Are you... smelling it?" Cadence asked in surprise as she heard the alicorn behind her sniffing.

Luna had the humility to blush slightly, pulling away from Cadence's ass. "Uh," she started, not knowing really what to say. "It does not smell as offensive as one might be led to believe."

"Oh, well... get ready for more I guess," Cadence said, turning back around and pushing again.

The pink anus flexed again, opening up to reveal the head of a hard turd this time. The knobby log slid forward slowly, inching its way out of Cadence's pucker. A few pieces broke off, falling down to the floor before the rest of the poop fell out, landing with a dull thud.

The fetid stench of feces filled the air quickly, and Luna found herself breathing it in eagerly. She leaned in closer as a second log began to poke out. This one remained intact as it squeezed itself out of Cadence's ass, gaining an extra few inches of length before it too fell to the floor. A airy hiss of a fart accompanied the third and final horseapple, which was the smallest of the group. The round ball of crap pushed its way out before falling to the floor with the other two, squishing slightly as it landed on top of the logs.

Cadence turned around and looked at the small pile of manure she had produced. She had only managed to produce three small horseapples, as she had not expected to need to relieve herself here. But her audience seemed to appreciate it nonetheless.

"So, uh, what happens now?" Cadence asked awkwardly. "Do you like... play with it or something?"

It took Luna a few moments to break out of her tracen, shifting her gaze up from the pile of poop to Cadence. "Our previous observations imply that it is now my duty to orally clean your backside," she said, taking another quick glance at the crap on the floor before her.

"Oh!" Cadence exclaimed, not understanding how she was still surprised at anything that was happening today. "You mean like... with your tongue?"

Luna nodded. "Yes, orally. I believe the kids are calling it a 'rimjob' these days."

Cadence swallowed. "O-oh... well, alright," she said, lifting her tail back up. "If you're sure."

Luna stepped forward, doing her best to ignore the wet spot left behind on the carpet when she stood up. She positioned herself right behind Cadence, leaning down so that her head was level with the pink alicorn's ass. This caused her to be right over the pile of pony poop on the floor, the foul fumes of which wafted right up into her face. Luna found that the stench was not all that unpleasant, and similar to Cadence's earlier flatulence, the night princess unconsciously began to sniff at the air a little heavier.

However, huffing princess shit was not the main event of the hour. So Luna turned her attention to the plot in front of her. Before diving in, she took a moment to take in the view. Unlike in Applejack's dream, Cadence had not made a large mess of herself. Rather than thick smears of fecal sludge, there was only a faint stain left behind on the pucker, with a few crumbs of the dry crap clinging to folds of the wrinkled anus. The orifice flexed slightly in waiting, and Luna found herself wishing that another log was ready to slide out, or perhaps a second fart.

Without another second of delay, Luna stuck out her tongue pressed her muzzle forward. She heard Cadence let out a light gasp above her as the tongue made contact with her butthole. Luna simply held it there for a moment, trying to make up her mind about what she felt about the sensation. Then, she began to lick up and down, effectively wiping Cadence clean with her tongue.

The taste was not nearly as offensive as she thought it would be. As a matter of fact, she could barely taste anything at all. The only hint that there was any poop in her mouth was a faint, bitter aftertaste that lingered with each lick, and the gritty residue clinging to Cadence's pucker.

Almost disappointed, Luna pressed in harder. Her tongue dug into the center of Cadence's anus, pushing gently before squeezing its way inside. More of the same subtle, bitter flavor was present, clinging the to walls of the alicorn's rectum. She wriggled her tongue around, pushing in as far as she could reach, cleaning every last speck of waste that she could find from the inside of the colon.

Luna barely even heard Cadence's moans growing louder and louder as she vigorously ate out her ass. Thus, she was surprised when the pink alicorn began to shudder in front of her, and a warm rush of marecum splattered out from her pussy against the night princess' neck. Luna pulled away as another gush of fluids sprayed out, this time mostly landing in her open mouth.

The taste of her pussy juice was a welcome dessert to the remnants of the bitter meal she had just scraped out of Cadence's ass. The marecum was tangy, even slightly sweet, and Luna licked the remnants from her lips.

"I was not aware that my actions were that pleasurable to you," Luna said as Cadence panted, recovering from her orgasm.

Cadence pulled away from Luna, turning around to face her and collapsing down to her haunches. "You were really digging in there. How could it not be pleasurable?" Cadence breathlessly replied. "So... how was it?"

Luna joined Cadence in sitting back, a thoughtful look on her face. "If we are being honest, quite underwhelming," she said. "We had expected a more... prominent taste, perhaps." Her gaze lowered until she was looking at the pile of shit that lay on the carpet in front of her.

"Well, I have to say you did an excellent job of cleaning me," Cadence said, trying to inject some cheer into Luna's otherwise despondent state. She noticed that the night princess was no longer looking at her, and she followed Luna's gaze down. "Oh," she mouthed to herself, connecting the dots in her head. "You're thinking about... that... aren't you?"

With a nod, Luna looked back up at her. "Perhaps. We are uncertain however - We did not witness our subjects engaging in such an act."

Cadence nodded. "Well, I mean, it's definitely not a thing that everypony does. Even those with the fetish," she explained. "But you never really know until you try it." Secretly, and she would never admit this to anypony, Cadence kind of wanted to see Luna taste her poop. It was definitely something that Shining Armor would never do, and she was definitely curious.

Luna eyed the logs of shit more carefully before lighting her horn and selecting a single log to bring up to her mouth. She let it hover in front of her muzzle for a few moments. The lumpy, compacted texture glistened lightly in her magical aura, and she could smell the sour, foul scent. After a few seconds of hesitation, she opened her maw, and gingerly placed the horseapple in her mouth.

The taste was infinitely more powerful than the few crumbs she had lapped off of Cadence's ass. An earthy, bitter taste exploded into her mouth, quickly managing to cover all of her taste buds at once. Luna gagged, initially finding herself overwhelmed by the potent flavor. She held it back though, taking a few moments to let the muck sit in her mouth. She tried chewing it, spreading the excrement around in her mouth. The poop was mashed into a gritty paste, revealing more earthy flavors. Slowly, the princess adjusted to the taste.

It took a great deal of effort, but eventually Luna found the ability to swallow the lump of shit. She smacked her maw, the residue feeling akin to peanut butter. It tasted nothing of the sort however.

"How... how was it?" Cadence asked, watching Luna curiously.

Luna's face contorted as she tried to clean up the thick, sticky sensation from her jaw. "That was... far different from what we expected," she finally said, levitating over a glass of water. She took a long sip, swishing it around in her cheeks before spitting it back out into the glass. The entire glass quickly faded into a muted brown color, and Luna grimaced. "Apologies. We did not expect it to be so... sticky."

Cadence tried to hold in her laughter, but she found it was difficult. "Don't worry about it," she said through her giggles.

With a grimace still on her face, Luna set the glass of murky water back down, as far away from the remaining food as possible. "This aspect of the activity will definitely take some getting used to," she commented, lighting her horn and causing the rest of Cadence's poop to disintegrate into nothingness.

"But... you didn't hate it?" Cadence pried. "Like, you'd be willing to try again, for Celestia?"

Luna thought about it for a moment. "Probably," she finally said. "It was not unbearable. And we found the first part to be surprisingly enjoyable. We simply require more experience." The alicorn shifted her weight on the carpet. Her marehood was positively soaked, as she figured that she might need to take care of it as soon as Cadence departed.

"Do you want... help with that?" Cadence asked as she watched Luna shift uncomfortably.

"Huh? What are you referring to?" Luna asked, raising an eyebrow.

Cadence gestured to the princess' flank, and the growing puddle of arousal staining the carpet. "I mean, you pleasured me. I'd be more than willing to return the favor." She cringed at how eager she sounded, but the offer was genuine.

Luna thought for a moment. She was ready to wait until Cadence left, but her fellow princess had a point. Why not indulge in bit of shared pleasure? "Uh, very well," she said. "You may, service us." Luna stood and awkwardly turned around. She flipped her ethereal tail up, revealing her own plot to Cadence.

Cadence's eyes widened as she saw just how wet Luna was. Her pussy was quivering, begging to to filled as her clit winked in and out steadily. Copious amounts of mare juice drooled out, glistening on her lips and dripping down her thighs to the carpet below. Without any further delay, Cadence leaned in and rand her tongue along the outer edges of the pussy in front of her.

A coo escaped Luna's mouth as she felt Cadence begin to eat her out. The feel of another mare's tongue was always heavenly, but she especially needed it right now. Luna melted back into Cadence's face, letting the other mare do her work as she relaxed into the cunnilingus.

Then, there was a poking feeling at her other entrance as Cadence lit her horn. A tentacle of magic ticked her anus, loosening it up before sliding inside. Luna moaned at the anal penetration, unconsciously grinding back against the stimulation.

Cadence smiled into the wet cunt, increasing the diameter of her magical tendril and she began to push it in and out of Luna's ass. The dual stimulation was quickly heightening the night princess' pleasure, and soon her moans were loudly ringing out in the room. Had anypony been nearby, they almost certainly would hear Luna's pleasure loud and clear.

Suddenly, Cadence pulled her tongue out of Luna's snatch. The princess groaned at the lack of stimulation, but was quickly pleased as the magic in her ass was replaced with something more solid. Luna gasped as she felt Cadence's horn slide into her stretched asshole. The ridged surface rubbed against her ass in all the right ways, and her moans became louder and quicker as Cadence began to thrust herself in and out.

In no time at all, Luna let out a long moan and shuddered as she came. Her pussy clenched around nothing as Cadence pushed her horn in and out of her tight ass. Before she even realized it, her bladder had relaxed and she had begun to pee onto the carpet.

Cadence smiled as the warm urine splattered onto the carpet and her chest. She scooted forward, letting the warm piss soak into her fur. Pulling her horn out of Luna's ass, she moved in to instead lap at the stretched pucker, easing the night princess out of her powerful orgasm.

Luna eventually stopped pissing on Cadence as her bladder ran dry, and she took a few staggering steps forward. Cadence's muzzle followed the plot until it was out of reach, and she pulled back, straightening up.

"So, how was that?" she asked, licking her lips.

"That was... that was intensely satisfying," Luna said after a moment of catching her breath. "We thank you."

Cadence smiled at a job well done. Luna stood still, taking a few deep breaths as she came down off the rest of her pleasure-fueled high.

The night princess took a few staggered steps and walked over to her desk. "So... back to the original topic," she said picking up a quill and paper. "How does every Wednesday morning sound?"

"What?" Cadence asked, confused.

"Every Wednesday morning," Luna repeated. "Can you spare the time?"

Cadence simply stared back at her, still thoroughly confused. "Spare the time? For what? Huh?"

Luna turned back to look at her. "To partake in these activities again. As we said, we require more experience."

"What about Celestia?" Cadence asked. "Aren't you going to try this with her?"

The dark blue alicorn simply shook her head. "We cannot partake in these activities with her until we are ready. It would be inappropriate to ask before we are certain we can handle it for ourselves."

Cadence blinked. "Oh..." she said, trailing off and trying to process the fact that Luna was asking to have scat sex with her every week. "Sure. Wednesdays are fine."

"Excellent!" Luna hastily jotted something down before folding it up and placing it in a bin of other papers. She turned back to face Cadence. "Well then, shall we call for more tea and cakes?"

Author's Note

Happy Hearts and Hooves day! Have an extra kinky time! Just a short little fic to celebrate the season! Don't worry, there will be more interesting stuff coming from me soon! I have two commissions on the way to being completed, and an idea for an extra-special extra-gross extra-hardcore fic coming soon as well! (Think The Sexualized Murder of Rainbow Dash style).

**You may consider this to be in the "Crappy Incest Saga Universe" if you wish, but not officially.