Baptism of Fire.
Captain of the Canterlot Royal Guard Snapdragon, straightened up and took a deep breath of cold air. He looked into the distance where he could see the towers of Lionheart Castle. Although the air was very cold, and his body started to shiver in the harsh wind of the late autumn, Capitan Snapdragon smiled.
After a second of admiring the view he decided that it is time to continue his voyage.
First thing first, he thought, and his horn glowed with faint pink light. The magic worked quickly, the unpleasant sensation of cold which had made him hunch his shoulders and draw his head in, disappeared. The spell, warming him, also muffled the hunger which had been eating at him for several hours. Snapdragon cheered up, made himself comfortable in the royal armor and, with greater attention than before, started to take stock of his surroundings.
The land around Lionheart Castle was famous for its wildness and inaccessibility, and the gap in the granite wall of Tail Mountains that was a vital landmark was not easy for an inexperienced eye to find. It was enough to turn down one of the numerous gullies and gorges to lose sight of it. And even he who knew the land, knew the way and knew where to look for the pass, could not allow himself to lose his concentration for an instant.
The unicorn looked up at the sky. The growing cold and increasing wind here, in the mountains, could herald a blizzard and he did not find the prospect of spending yet another night in a grotto or rocky nook too attractive. He could, if he had to, continue his journey even through a blizzard; he could locate the path using telepathy, he could – using magic – make himself insensitive to the cold. He could, if he had to. But he preferred not to have to.
Luckily, Lionheart Castle was already close. Snapdragon trotted on to flat scree, over an enormous heap of stones washed down by glaciers and streams, and rode into a narrow pass between rocky outcrops. The gorge walls rose vertically and seemed to meet high above him, only divided by a narrow line of sky. It grew warmer, the wind howling above the rocks could no longer reach to lash and sting at him.
The pass broadened, leading through a ravine and then into the valley, opening onto a huge depression, covered by forest, which stretched out amidst jagged boulders. The unicorn ignored the gentle, accessible depression rim and rode down towards the forest, into the thick backwoods. Dry branches cracked under his hooves.
Before long he emerged onto clearer land, trotting along the trough of a stream which barely trickled along the ravine bed. Snapdragon looked around carefully, finally finding what he was looking for. Over the gully, supported horizontally by enormous boulders, lay a mighty tree trunk, dark, bare and turning green with moss. Captain of the Royal Guard rode closer, wanting to make sure this was, indeed, the Trail and not a tree accidentally felled in a gale. But he spied a narrow, indistinct pathway disappearing into the woods. He could not be mistaken – this was definitely the Trail, a path encircling the old Lionhart Castle and beset with obstacles, where Royal Guard recruits trained to improve their running speeds and controlled breathing. The path was known as the Trail, but Snapdragon knew rookies had given it their own name: Slaughter-path.
Snapdragon bowed his neck and slowly trotted under the trunk. At that moment, he heard stones grating. And the fast, light hoofsteps of somepony running.
He turned and waited for the recruit to run out onto the log.
The recruit did run out onto the log, flitted along it like an arrow without slowing down to aid his balance on the slippery trunk – running nimbly, fluently, with incredible grace. He flashed by, approaching and disappearing amongst the trees without disturbing a single branch. Snapdragon sighed loudly, shaking his head in disbelief.
Because the recruit, judging by his height and build, was only about sixteen-eighteen years old tops.
Snapdragon trotted upstream. He knew the Trail cut across the ravine once more, at a spot known as the Gullet. He wanted to catch a glimpse of the young recruit once again. Royal Guard didn’t allow recruitment below age of 20.
He was not in a great hurry. The narrow, Slaughterpath meandered and looped its way through the forest and, in order to master it, the colt would take far longer than he would, following the shortcut. However, he could not loiter either. Beyond the Gullet, the Trail turned into the woods and led straight to the fortress. If he did not catch the boy at the precipice, he might not see him till the Lionhart Castle.
After a few minutes riding along the stony trough of the stream he caught sight of the Gullet – a leap over the gully created by two huge mossy rocks, overgrown with gnarled, stunted trees. He did not have to wait long. Colt’s silhouette appeared on the rock and the boy jumped, not slowing his pace. The captain heard the soft smack of his landing and a moment later a rattle of stones, the dull thud of a fall and a quiet cry. Or rather, a squeal.
Snapdragon instantly dropped his saddlebags, and dashed across the mountainside, pulling himself up using tree branches and roots. Momentum aided his climb until he slipped on the conifer needles and fell to his knees next to a figure huddled on the stones. The youngster, on seeing him, jumped up like a spring, backed away in a flash then tripped and collapsed between the junipers and pines. Snapdragon did not rise from his knees; he observed the colt.
From beneath a blue fringe, poorly and unevenly cut, Snapdragon could see a long horn. The colt had predominant features in a small face with a narrow chin and upturned nose. His Turquoisish white coat was dirty from the fall. The colt stared at Snapdragon with enormous cerulean eyes . There was fear in those eyes.
“Don‘t be afraid,” Snapdragon said tentatively. The colt opened his eyes even wider. He was hardly out of breath and did not appear to be sweating. It was clear he had already run Slaughter-path more than once. “Nothing‘s happened to you?”
The colt did not reply, instead he sprang up, hissed with pain, and once more landed on his rump. Rookie lined over and started to rubbed his injured knee.
“Don‘t be afraid,” repeated Snapdragon, still not rising from his knees. “I heard your fall and wanted to see if nothing serious happened, that‘s why I rushed here”
“I slipped,” murmured the colt.
"Have you hurt yourself?”
“No. You?”
Snapdragon laughed, tried to get up, winced and swore at the pain in his right back leg ankle. He sat down and carefully straightened his back-leg, swearing once more.
“Come here, little one, help me get up.”
“I‘m not little.”
“If you say so. Come here and help me get up.”
The colt did not move from the spot.
“Have no fear,” said the Captain with a smile. “I‘m not a bandit or outsider I‘m Captain Snapdragon and I‘m going to Lionheart Castle. Don‘t gape at me. I respect your suspicion, but be reasonable. Would I have got this far if I hadn‘t known the way? Have you ever met a pony on the Trail?”
The colt overcame his hesitation, approached and stretched out his hoof. Snapdragon stood with only a little assistance.
“Show me your knee, little one.”
“I‘m not little.”
“Sorry. But surely you have a name?”
“I do. I‘m Shining Armor.”
“It‘s a pleasure. A bit closer if you please, Shining Armor.”
“It‘s nothing.”
“I want to see what ‘nothing‘ looks like. Ah, that‘s what I thought. ‘Nothing‘ looks remarkably like coat grazed down to raw flesh. Stand still and don‘t be scared.”
“I‘m not scared… Awww!”
Snapdragon laughed and rubbed his forehead, itching from casting the spell. Shining Armor bent over and gazed at his knee.
“Oooh,” he said.” It doesn‘t hurt anymore! You have to be a powerful unicorn!”
„You‘ve guessed it.”
“Have you graduated from School for Gifted Unicorns in Canterlot?”
“In matter of fact I did. Why do you ask?”
“My sister is attending it.” Shining Armor smiled for a second but as soon as the smile arrived it was gone.” I haven’t visited her for two weeks and I have two more before I will have my first pass.”
“That’s the life of a soldier lad.“
“… I know.” Shining Armor looked into Snapdragon eyes and immediately understood that he is speaking to an officer.” Sir!”
Snapdragon smiled at the colt.“Come, Shining Armor. My saddlebags are waiting at the bottom. We‘ll go to Lionheart Castle together.”
“I ought to run.” Shining Armor shook his head. “It‘s not good to stop running because you get milk in your muscles. Captain Buttercup says…”
“Buttercup is at the keep?”
Shining Armor frowned, pinched his lips together and shot a glance at the captain from beneath his blue fringe. Snapdragon chuckled again.
“All right,” he said.” I won‘t ask. A secret is a secret, and you‘re right not to disclose it to somepony you hardly know. Come on. When we get there we‘ll see who‘s at the castle and who isn‘t. And don‘t worry about your muscles – I can teach you a spell that will help you with lactic acid. Let me help you get down… Damn it! What‘s this? Shining Armor?”
Snapdragon took a closer look at the colt. His shoulders were covered in massive bruises, suffused with blood. Most of them had already turned yellow; some were fresh.
“What the hell is this?” the Captain repeated angrily. ”Who beat you like this?”
“This?” Shining Armor looked at his shoulders as if surprised by the number of bruises.”Oh, this… That was the windmill. I was too slow.”
“What windmill? Bloody hell!”
“The windmill,” repeated Shining Armor, raising his huge eyes to look up at the Captain. ”It‘s a sort of… Well… I‘m using it to learn to dodge while attacking. It‘s got these paws made of sticks and it turns and waves the paws. You have to jump very quickly and dodge. You have to learn a refrex. If you haven‘t got the refrex the windmill wallops you with a stick. At the beginning, the windmill gave me a really terribly horrible thrashing. But now…”
Snapdragon trotted around the colt inspecting his body closely.” Oh, sweet Celestia! Lad! Can you really walk? Run?” Left thigh was black and blue with haematomas and swellings.
Shining Armor shuddered and hissed, when cold healing spell touched his back leg. Snapdragon swore viciously using inexpressibly foul Diamond Dog language.
“Was that the windmill, too?” he asked, trying to remain calm.
“This? No. This, this was the windmill.” Shining Armor pointed indifferently to an impressive bruise below his left knee. “And these other ones… They were the pendulum. I practice my doge ability on the pendulum. Sergeant says I‘m already good at the pendulum. He says I‘ve got… Flair. I‘ve got flair.”
“And if you run out of flair,“ Snapdragon ground his teeth together.” I take it the pendulum thumps you?”
“But of course,” the colt confirmed, looking at him, clearly surprised at this lack of knowledge.“ It thumps you, and how.”
“And here? On your side? What was that? A smith‘s hammer?”
Shining Armor hissed with pain and blushed. “I fell off the comb…”
“…and the comb thumped you,” finished Snapdragon, controlling himself with increasing difficulty.
Shining Armor snorted. “How can a comb thump you when it‘s buried in the ground? It can‘t! I just fell. I was practising a jumping pirouette and it didn‘t work. That‘s where the bruise came from. Because I hit a post.”
“And you lay there for two days? In pain? Finding it hard to breathe?”
“Not at all. Capitan Buttercup rubbed it and put me straight back on the comb. You have to, you know? Otherwise you catch fear.”
“What?”
“You catch fear,” Shining Armor repeated proudly.“ Didn‘t you know? Even when something bad happens to you, you have to go straight back to that piece of equipment or you get frightened. And if you‘re frightened you‘ll be hopeless at the exercise. You mustn‘t give up. Capitan Buttercup said so.”
“I have to remember that maxim,” Snapdragon murmured through his teeth.” And that it came from Buttercup. Not a bad prescription for life although I‘m not sure it applies in every situation. But it is easy to put into practise at somepony else‘s expense. So you mustn‘t give up? Even though you are being thumped and beaten in a thousand ways, you‘re to get up and carry on practising?”
“Of course. A Royal Guard is not afraid of anything.”
“Is that so? And you, Shining Armor? You aren‘t afraid of anything? Answer truthfully.”
The colt turned away and bit his lip. “You won‘t tell anypony?”
“I won‘t.”
“I‘m frightened of two pendulums. Two at the same time. And the windmill, but only when it‘s set to go fast.”
"Hell and bloody damnation! I‘m going to kill those cursed idiots!”
Shining Armor shrugged. Snapdragon looked at confused recruit.” Don’t worry I don’t meant you. Let’s go I can’t wait to see my old friend.”
After they found the captains saddlebags they moved off along the stream bed at a walking pace. They rode across another gully and climbed the rounded mountainside. From there they could see the Lionheart Castle huddled against the stone precipices – the trapezium of the defensive wall, the barbican and gate, the thick, blunt column of the donjon. Lionheart Castle was a military construction build to withstand a siege. Both from land and air. More than thousand years old enchantments still protected the castle making the walls resistant to any kind of magic. Lionheart Castle was also the training place for Royal Guard. Here new recruits were sent for intense military training and evaluation before they were accepted into the honorable ranks of Equestria finest.
Snapdragon and Shining Armor reached the moat and crossed it slowly through a wooden bridge. Snapdragon looked into the river that created the moat.
The decaying skulls and skeletons strewn across the river bed made no impression on him. He had seen them before.
“I don‘t like this,” Shining Armor suddenly remarked. “It‘s not as it should be. The dead should to be buried in the ground. Under a barrow. Shouldn‘t they?”
“They should,” Captain agreed calmly.” I think so, too. But the Royal Guard treat this graveyard as a… reminder.”
“Reminder of what?”
“Reminder that Equestria isn’t a totally peaceful land. That Royal Guard have to be ever vigilant because you never know from where the strike will come. There are enemies abroad and within. You see Lionhart Castle, was assaulted. There was a bloody battle here in which almost all of Day Guards died. Only those who weren‘t in the keep or were at Celestia side at the time, survived.”
”Who attacked them? And why?”
“Lunar Stallions, the Night Guard. It was long ago. Equestria has forgotten that, but we didn’t forgot our brothers who gave their lives for the Princess here.“ Snapdragon looked into the river and skeletons again.” And we didn’t forgot those who betrayed us.”
******
“Calm down, Snapy,” said large grayish earthpony stallion. ”It‘s unhealthy to get so worked up, especially with no reason.”
“Don‘t preach at me, Panzerhoof! And stop calling me Snapy! Sergeant you might out match me in years of service but I’m still your superior! But best of all, stop talking altogether. I‘m not speaking to you. Buttercup, have any of you seen how terribly battered this colt is? He hasn‘t got a single healthy spot on his body!”
“Don‘t let yourself get carried away by your emotions. You were brought up differently,” replied Buttercup. He was sitting calmly on a chair in front of Snapdragon.
“Don‘t give me that nonsense,” Snapdragon flared. ”Don‘t pretend you‘re stupid. This is Lionheart Castle! On these windmills and pendulums of yours, on this Slaughter-path of yours, dozens of ponies have broken their bones and twisted their necks, stallions who were hard, experienced Guards. I have never heard of a rookie that was given this kind of training. And where is the rest of them? I haven’t seen any more recruits.”
“Half the year castle is empty.” Buttercup sighed.” Princess reduced military funding so we train only enough to restock the current Guard numbers. We have recruits her from April till September. Rest of the year we are empty as you can see.”
"You are saying that Shining Armor is the only recruit in the castle?”
“Yes, and I admit that nopony was trained so intensely for a long time in those walls,” said Buttercup,” but those are her majesty direct orders. He is the reason you have been temporarily transferred here. Princess Celestia is very… hopeful about this colt.”
Snapdragon took a long look into his friends eyes. Buttercup looked back with sad expression.
“Do you have any idea who he is? Some kid of a elitist snob who wants his son to be a General?” Snapdragon asked finally.
“No.” Buttercup answered calmly.” Her majesty orders were clear in that part. We are to train him not break him. One thing I’m sure. He isn’t one of those Canterlot Elite types. No offence Snapdragon.”
“Non taken, mate”
“At first I was skeptical too,” continued Buttercup, ” but the colt has a heart of a Royal Guard. To be honest I have no idea why princess wants him to be trained so hard. Sergeant Panzerhoof has been transferred here to oversee his stamina training. To be honest he is the only pony who knows how to train on those damn windmills and pendulums. Princess Celestia have ordered me to tutor Shining Armor general education.”
Buttercup rose up from his seat spread his wings and slowly flow to a wooden board. He took out a letter from it.
“Those are your orders. Royal seal and probably her majesty personal writing,” said Buttercup and placed the letter in front of his unicorn friend.
Snapdragon levitated the letter and read it fast.
“Yes. I’m to train Shining Armor in offensive magic and sword fencing.” Snapdragon snorted aloud.” I’m ordered to train him everything I know about unicorn combat. I’m allowed to use any methods I consider necessary in my task.”
Snapdragon closed the letter and looked at Sergeant Panzerhoof. Mighty earthpony stallion observed him stoically. Panzerhoof wasn’t young and his face and eyes betrayed years of experience and this kind of wisdom that comes with age. But he didn’t look old. His chest and legs showed muscles that could break a tree in half.
Then he looked at his old friend Buttercup. Who was wearing Royal Pegasus Guard armor. The armor enchantment made him perfectly white. In his blue eyes he saw concern. Snapdragon know him long enough to know that Buttercup, didn’t like this situation, they have been placed in, at all.
“And now she sends you as his fencing trainer.” Buttercup broke the silence.” I truly have no idea what Princess needs this colt for but whatever it is it’s not a regular patrol around the library. We have to strategize now how to best prepare this colt for whatever she has in store for him. ”
„The so-called levitation, Shining Armor, is a very simple spell belonging to the family of psychokinetic magic which is based on thrusting energy in the required direction. The force of the thrust depends on how the will of the unicorn throwing it is focused and on the expelled force. It can be considerable. Levitation is easiest and most natural magic for unicorns. Even new born foals can levitate object during uncontrollable magic surges. Levitation as you know allows us to pick up objects and move them in the air. Unfortunately levitation has its limits. When you simply levitate an object you can’t perform complicated manipulation with it. Simple Levitation will not suffice when you want to write a letter. To perform those you need to learn more sophisticated psychokinesis spells. What kind of psychokinetic spells have you learned during your magic education in Canterlot?”
“Only levitation Captain Snapdragon! I didn’t know there were more spells of this kind. Sir!”
“Relax lad. We, obviously, aren‘t going to waste time and energy on something as primitive as levitation. We are going to practice real psychokinesis. Have you read that book I gave you?”
“Yes. Sir!”
“What are other strengths and weakness of psychokinetic spells.”
“Levitation and other spells of this kind allow the user to control objects in close proximity. Further from the caster the object is, more energy is required to maintain control. Furthermore the spell burdens the concentration exp… exponentially with more objects the caster is trying to control.”
“That’s why you can’t weald five swords nor use them to fight you opponent away from yourself. You would burn your energy in an instant. You will learn now how to fence with one sword using your psychokinesis. First you have to master telekinesis. We‘ll practice on… Ah, on that basket lying under the apple tree. Concentrate…”
“Ready…”
“You focus yourself quickly. Let me remind you: control the flow of the force. You can only emit as much as you have restored. If you release even a tiny bit more, you do so at the cost of your constitution. An effort like that could render you unconscious and, in extreme circumstances, could even kill you. If, on the other hoof, you release everything you have, you forfeit all possibility of repeating it, and you will have to rest to restore your energy...”
“I know.”
“You mustn‘t slacken your concentration and allow the energy to tear itself away from you of its own accord. My professor in Canterlot University used to say that emitting the force must be like blowing a raspberry in a ballroom; do it gently, sparingly, and with control. And in such a way that you don‘t let those around you to know it was you. Understood?.”
“Understood!”
“Straighten yourself up. Stop giggling. Let me remind you that spells are a serious matter. They are cast with grace and pride. The motions are executed fluently but with restraint. With dignity. You do not pull faces, grimace or stick your tongue out. You are handling a force of nature, show Nature some respect. You have seen how to cast telekinesis you know how to do it.”
“Yes. Sir!”
“Careful, I‘m not screening you. You are an independent spell-caster. This is your debut. You saw that demi-john of wine in the kitchen? If your debut is successful, your teachers will drink it tonight.”
“By them self?”
“You are a magic Novice. Novices are only allowed to drink wine once they are qualified apprentices. You have to wait. You‘re smart, so that just means another ten years or so, not more. Right, let‘s start. Good. Right, release..”
“Aaaah…. “
“I didn‘t ask you to make funny noises. Emit the energy. In silence..”
“Haa, ha! It jumped! The basket jumped! Did you see?”
“It barely twitched. Shining Armor, sparingly does not mean weakly. Psychokinesis is used with a specific goal in mind. Once more, a little stronger. Go for it!”
“Ha! It certainly flew! It was all right that time, wasn‘t it, Captain Snapdragon?”
“Hmmm… You‘ll run to the kitchen afterwards and pinch a bit of cheese to go with our wine…That was almost right. Almost. Stronger still, don‘t be frightened. Lift the basket from the ground and throw it hard against the wall of that shack, make feathers fly. Don‘t slouch! Head up! Gracefully, but with pride! Be bold, be bold! Oh, bloody hell!”
“Oh, dear… I‘m sorry, Sir!… I probably… probably used a bit too much….”
“A little bit. Don‘t worry. Come on, little one.. better if Buttercup didn’t see us here.”
“And… and the shack?”
“These things happen. There‘s no need to take it to heart. Your debut, on the whole, should be viewed as a success. And the shack? It wasn‘t too pretty. I don‘t think anypony will miss its presence in the landscape. Hold on, Buttercup! Calm down, calm down, why this uproar and commotion, nothing has happened! Easy, Panzerhoof! Really, nothing has happened. The planks just need to be cleared away. They‘ll make good firewood!”
******
“Faster, Shining! Lunge, attack, dodge! Half-pirouette, thrust, dodge! Balance! Balance with your left leg or you‘ll fall from the comb! Good. Aren‘t you tired? We‘ll take a break, if you like. You have been practicing for two hours now.”
“No, Sergeant! I can go on. I‘m not that weak, you know. Shall I try jumping over every other post?”
“Don‘t you dare! You might fall and then Buttercup will tear my head off.”
“I won‘t fall!”
“I‘ve told you once and I‘m not going to say it again. Don‘t show off! Steady on your legs! And breathe, Shining, breathe! You‘re panting like a dying mammoth!”
“That‘s not true!”
“Don‘t squeal. Practice! Attack, dodge! Parry! Half-pirouette! Parry, full pirouette! Steadier on the posts, damn it! Don‘t wobble! Lunge, thrust! Faster! Half-pirouette! Jump and cut! That‘s it! Very good!
“Really? Was that really very good?”
“Who said so?”
“You did! A moment ago!”
“Slip of the tongue. Attack! Half-pirouette! Dodge! And again! Shining, where was the parry? How many times do I have to tell you? After you dodge you always parry, deliver a blow with the blade to protect your head and shoulders! Always!”
“Even when I‘m only fighting one opponent?”
“You never know what you‘re fighting. You never know what‘s happening behind you. You always have to cover yourself. Hoof work and concentrate your telekinesis on sword! It‘s got to be a reflex. Reflex, understand? You mustn‘t forget that. You forget it in a real fight and you‘re finished. Again! At last! That‘s it! See how such a parry lands? You can take any strike from it. You can cut backwards from it, if you have to. Right, show me a pirouette and a thrust backwards.”
“Haaa!”
“Very good. You see the point now? Has it got through to you?”
“I‘m not stupid!”
“You‘re a unicorn. Unicorns don‘t have brains.”
“Sergeant! If Capitan Snapdragon heard that!”
“If ifs and ands were pots and pans. All right, that‘s enough. Come down. We‘ll take a break.”
“I‘m not tired!”
“But I am. I said, a break. Come down from the comb.”
“Turning a somersault?”
“What do you think? Like a hen off its roost? Go on, jump. Don‘t be afraid, I belay you.”
“Haaaa!”
“Nice. Very good… for a unicorn. You can take off the blindfold now.”
******
“Here, on this engraving… No, damn it, not on that one… On this one. This is, as you already know, a ghoul. Tell me, Shining Armor, what you‘ve learned about ghouls… Hey, look at me!”
“hmm… The ghoul, Capitan Buttercup, is a corpse-devouring monster. It can be seen in cemeteries, in the vicinity of barrows, anywhere the dead are buried. At nec— necropolia.”
“So it‘s only a danger to the dead, is that right?”
“No, not only. A ghoul may also attack living ponies if it‘s hungry or falls into a fury…”
“What‘s the matter, Shining Armor?
“Nothing…”
“What’s bothering you lad?”
“Why do I have to learn about all those nasty things, Sir? Royal Guards duty is to protect the Princess and fight for Equestria is it not?”
“Yes it is my lad. But that is the short version I’m afraid. Our enemies take different shapes and forms. Princess Celestia protects our peaceful land but she is only one pony and can’t be everywhere. We her loyal guards take her responsibility to protect ponies when she isn’t around. Those monsters are nightmarish and frightening. That‘s why you‘re learning about ghouls now, Shining Armor. When you know about something it stops being a nightmare. When you know how to fight something, it stops being so threatening. So how do you fight a ghoul, Shining Armor?
“Bright light. And fire. The ghoul is also sensitive to silver and iron.”
“So you can fight it with light and fire spells?”
“You can, but it‘s dangerous. One shouldn’t use light or fire because it makes it harder to see. Every light creates a shadow and shadows make it harder to get your bearings. One must always fight in darkness, by moon or starlight.”
“Quite right. You‘ve remembered it well. And now look here, at this engraving.”
“Eeeueeeuuueee”
“Oh well, true enough, it is not a beautiful cun— creature. It‘s a graveir. A graveir is a type of ghoul. It looks very much like a ghoul but is considerably larger. He can also be told apart, as you can see, by these three bony combs on his skull. The rest is the same as any other corpse-eater. Take note of the short, blunt claws, adapted for digging up graves, and churning the earth. Strong teeth for shattering bones and a long, narrow tongue used to lick the decaying marrow from them. Such stinking marrow is a delicacy for the graveir… What‘s the matter?”
“Nnnnothing.”
“You‘re completely pale. And green. You don‘t eat enough. Did you eat breakfast?”
“Yeeees. I diiiidddddd.”
“What was I… Aha. I almost forgot. Remember, because this is important. Graveirs, like ghouls and other monsters in this category, do not have their own ecological niche. Killing them does not upset the order and interconnections of nature which prevail in Equestria. These monsters are foreign here and there is no place for them. Do you understand, Shining Armor?”
“I do, Sir! Capitan Snapdragon explained it to me. I know all that. An ecological niche is…”
“All right, that‘s fine. I know what it is. If Snapdragon has explained it to you, you don‘t have to recite it to me. Let us return to the graveir. Graveirs appear quite rarely, fortunately, because they‘re bloody dangerous sons-of-bitches. The smallest wound inflicted by a graveir will infect you with corpse venom. Which elixir is used to treat corpse venom poisoning, Shining Armor?”
“Golden Oriole”
“Correct. But it is better to avoid infection to begin with. That is why, when fighting a graveir, you must never get close to the bastard. You always fight from a distance and strike from a leap.”
“And where‘s it best to strike one?”
“We‘re just getting to that. Look…”
******
“Once more, Shining Armor. We‘ll go through it slowly so that you can master each move. Now, I‘m attacking you with tierce, taking the position as if to thrust… Why are you retreating?”
“Because I know it‘s a feint! You can move into a wide sinistra or strike with upper quarte. And I‘ll retreat and parry with a counterfeint!”
“Is that so? And if I do this?”
“Auuu! It was supposed to be slow! What did I do wrong, Sir?”
“Nothing. I‘m just taller and stronger than you are.”
“That‘s not fair!”
“There‘s no such thing as a fair fight. You have to make use of every advantage and every opportunity that you get. By retreating you gave me the opportunity to put more force into the strike. Instead of retreating you should have executed a half-pirouette to the left and tried to cut at me from below, with quarte dextra, under the chin, in the cheek or throat.”
“As if you‘d let me! You‘ll do a reverse pirouette and get my neck from the left before I can parry! How am I meant to know what you‘re doing?”
“You have to know. And you do know.”
“Oh, sure!”
“Shining Armor, what we‘re doing is fighting. I‘m your opponent. I want to and have to defeat you because my life is at stake. I‘m taller and stronger than you so I‘m going to watch for opportunities to strike in order to avoid or break your parry – as you‘ve just seen. What do I need a pirouette for? I‘m already in sinistra, see? What could be simpler than to strike with a seconde, under the arm, on the inside? If I slash your artery, you‘ll be dead in a couple of minutes. Defend yourself!”
“Haaaa!”
“Very good. A beautiful, quick parry. See how exercising your telekinesis has come in useful? And now pay attention – a lot of fencers make the mistake of executing a standing parry and freeze for a second, and that‘s just when you can catch them out, strike – like so!”
“Haa!”
“Beautiful! Now jump away, jump away immediately, pirouette! I could have a hidden dagger! Good! Very good! And now, Shining? What am I going to do now?”
“How am I to know?”
“Watch my hooves! How is my body weight distributed? What can I do from this position?”
“Anything!”
"So spin, spin, force me to open up! Defend yourself! Good! And again! Good! And again!”
“Owwww!”
“Not so good.”
“Uff… What did I do wrong?”
“Nothing. I‘m just faster. Take your training armor off. We‘ll sit for a moment, take a break. You must be tired, you‘ve been running the Trail all morning.”
“I‘m not tired. I‘m hungry.”
“Bloody hell, so am I. And today‘s Buttercup‘s turn in the kitchen and he can‘t cook anything other than noodles… If he could only cook those properly…”
“Snapdragon?”
“Aha?”
“I‘m still not fast enough…”
“You‘re very fast.”
“Will I ever be as fast as you?”
“I doubt it. But don’t worry lad. Your special talent is much more useful for a Royal Guard.”
"Hmm… And are you—? Who‘s the best fencer in the world?”
“I‘ve no idea.”
“You‘ve never known one?”
“I‘ve known many who believed themselves to be the best.”
“Oh! What were they? What were their names? What could they do?”
“Hold on, hold on, lad. I haven‘t got an answer to those questions. Is it all that important?”
“Of course it‘s important! I‘d like to know who these ponies are. And where they are.”
“Where they are? I know that.”
“Ah! So where?”
“In cemeteries.”
******
“Pay attention, Shining Armor. We‘re going to attach a third pendulum now – you can manage two already. You use the same steps as for two only there‘s one more dodge. Ready?”
“Yes.”
“Focus yourself. Relax. Breathe in, breathe out. GO!”
“Ouch! Owwww… Damn it!”
“Don‘t swear. Did it hit you hard?”
“No, it only brushed me… What did I do wrong?”
“You ran in at too even pace, you sped the second half-pirouette up a bit too much, and your feint was too wide. And as a result you were carried straight under the pendulum.”
“But Sergeant, there‘s no room for a dodge and turn there! They‘re too close to each other!”
“There‘s plenty of room, I assure you. But the gaps are worked out to force you to make arrhythmic moves. This is a fight, Shining Armor, not ballet. You can‘t move rhythmically in a fight. You have to distract the opponent with your moves, confuse his reactions. Ready for another try?”
“Ready. Start those damn logs swinging.”
“Don‘t swear. Relax. Attack!”
“Ha! Ha! Well, how about that? How was that, Sergeant? It didn‘t even brush me!”
“And you didn‘t even brush the second sack with your sword. So I repeat, this is a fight. Not ballet, not acrobatics— What are you muttering now?”
“Nothing.”
“Relax. Adjust the bandage on your leg. Don‘t grip the hilt so tightly with your magic, it distracts you and upsets your equilibrium. Breathe calmly. Ready?”
“Yes.”
“Go!”
“Ouch! May you— Sergeant, it‘s impossible! There‘s not enough room for a feint and a change of weight to other leg. And when I strike from both hind legs, without a feint…”
"I saw what happens when you strike without a feint. Does it hurt?”
“No. Not much…”
“Sit down next to me. Take a break.”
“I‘m not tired. Sergeant, I‘m not going to be able to jump over that third pendulum even if I rest for ten years. I can‘t be any faster…”
“And you don‘t have to be. You‘re fast enough.”
“Tell me how to do it then. Half-pirouette, dodge and hit at the same time?”
“It‘s very simple; you just weren‘t paying attention. I told you before you started. An additional dodge is necessary. Displacement. An additional half-pirouette is superfluous. The second time round, you did everything well and passed all the pendulums.”
“But I didn‘t hit the sack because… Sergeant, without a half-pirouette I can‘t strike because I lose speed, I don‘t have the… the, what do you call it…”
“Impetus. That‘s true. So gain some impetus and energy. But not through a pirouette and change of weight because there‘s not enough time for it. Hit the pendulum with your sword.”
“The pendulum? I‘ve got to hit the sacks!”
“This is a fight, Shining Armor. The sacks represent your opponent‘s sensitive areas, you‘ve got to hit them. The pendulums – which simulate your opponent‘s weapon – you have to avoid, dodge past. When the pendulum hits you, you‘re wounded. In a real fight, you might not get up again. The pendulum mustn‘t touch you. But you can hit the pendulum… Why are you screwing your nose up?”
“I‘m… not going to be able to parry the pendulum with my telekinesis. I‘m too weak… I‘ll always be too weak! Because I‘m only a unicorn!”
“Come here, and listen carefully. No earthpony nor pegasus is going to be able to parry a blow aimed at him by a dragon tail, gigascorpion‘s pincers or a Manticore claws. And that‘s precisely the sort of weapons the pendulum simulates. So don‘t even try to parry. You‘re not deflecting the pendulum, you‘re deflecting yourself from it. You‘re intercepting its energy, which you need in order to deal a blow. A light, but very swift deflection with your telekinesis and instantaneous, equally swift blow from a reverse half-turn is enough. You‘re picking impetus up by rebounding. Do you see?”
“Mhm.”
“Speed, Shining Armor, not strength. Strength is necessary for a farm pony to buck apple trees. That‘s why, admittedly, unicorns are rarely farm ponies. Have you got that?”
“Mhm. Start the pendulums swinging.”
“Take a rest first.”
“I‘m not tired.”
“You know how to now? The same steps, feint…”
“I know.”
“Attack!”
“Haaa! Ha! Haaaaa! Got you! I got you, you Manticore ! Sergeant! Did you see that?”
“Don‘t yell. Control your breathing.”
“I did it! I really did it!! I managed it!”
“Well done, Shining Armor. Well done, lad.”
