Kill Count- Penny Play Panda (EQG)
"Welcome to the kill count, where we tally up the victims in all your favorite horror movies. I'm Jade J. Jackpot, and today we’re gonna be looking at Penny Play Panda, A movie centered around a killer stuffed panda. Directed by Rarity and Photo Finish, Penny Play Panda places an interesting twist on the killer toys genre where instead of going around killing mindlessly, Penny is instead, doing this because she thinks her family would like it. Her character is almost sympathetic due to how badly she wants to be accepted by her family. Sure, there are some questionably corny moments within the movie, but it doesn’t hurt the film in the slightest. The cast, the story, and Twilight Sparkle herself voicing Penny makes this a fun and somewhat scary film to watch. How many characters does Penny end to be with her family till the end? Let’s find out and get to the kills."
“The movie begins with Bandit taking a box up the stairs and into his room. This entire house is full of unpacked boxes, meaning they just moved in. Who’s they?”
Celestia walked around the corner holding a box herself, while Chad was unpacking one of the boxes was in the living room.
“Principal Celestia moved to a new house closer to Canterlot High for reasons unknown. In the first movie at least. Bandit sits on the bed and starts unpacking, and the first thing he unpacks is a TITLE CARD!”
“Bandit pulls out a cute little stuffed Panda who looks like she couldn’t hurt a fly if she wanted to.”
Bandit held the panda in his hand. The panda had a tutu around its waist and a pink bow on her head.
“Bandit looks in the box and sees memoirs of his childhood, playing with this stuffed panda when he was a kid, the panda he named Penny. He smiles at the nostalgia and puts her on his shelf. We get a little montage of Bandit unpacking and organizing his room along with him singing a little improvised song that was kept in the film.”
“Back when I was feeling sad
She was always there for me
Not just twilight or mother
Or even Auntie Lunie.
I’m talking bout my panda Penny.”
“Daww, that was adorable. During this montage, Bandit doesn’t notice Penny’s smile growing bigger as he sang. Don’t worry Bandit, I didn’t notice that either until I rewatched the film. After the montage, Bandit walks over to Penny and pressed her stomach to see if her voice box still worked.”
Bandit pushed her stomach.
“I’m Penny! I love making friends!” Penny said through her voice box.
“Twilight did a fantastic job voicing Penny. Both in use of her ‘voice box’ and the panda herself. I wonder if Twilight ever considered doing more voice work. It gets dark and Bandit’s friends stop by, ready to watch a horror movie. Lightning Sprint’s got a film titled Rabies. No that isn’t a real movie, but a movie that Rarity had filmed for clips in the movie with the cast you see watching the film, and they improvised a lot of their reaction dialogue to the film with a bunch of meta commentary. If you can call it that.”
“Come on, that looks nothing like me.” Bandit said, looking at himself holding a rabid wolf back from biting him.
“What are you talking about? That looks exactly like you.” Twilight told him.
“I would never wear a turtle neck and you know that.” Bandit told her.
“Whoever designed those costumes has some good taste.” Spike said. Rarity shrugged.
“A bit tacky if you ask me.” Rarity said, unimpressed, despite making those costumes.
“Little do they know, that movie is being watched by more than just these 10. A little panda’s doing some peeping, naughty naughty. I really do appreciate that Photo Finish made Penny’s reveal subtle and in your face at the same time. Before Penny actually starts killing, you can actually see her move and make facial expressions within the background and foreground showing that she’s alive. Making facial expressions during the song Bandit sings, hiding on the stairs peeking at the tv, and seen later, frowning in disapproval. The movie ends and Bandit goes to get some Sleeping Bags for his friends spending the night. Penny falls over and Bandit picks her back up and puts her back, giving her a boop on the snoot before walking out. The next morning, the group gets ready to head to school, driven there by Principal Celestia and Vice Principal Luna. In the school, we meet secondary characters, Sandalwood, Big Macintosh, the CMC, Flash Sentry, Sunset Shimmer, Trixie, Octavia, and Vinyl Scratch to name a few. There are quite a few other characters to get introduced to such as Diamond Tiara, Snips, Snails, Lyra, Bon Bon, but we’ll get to them when they come around to being relevant. Bandit stops by the school library to study before classes actually start, and as he unzips his bag, Cheerilee bumped into the table, blinded by the books she was carrying, and accidentally knocked over his bag along with the books. Revealing Penny coming out to also hit the books. As Bandit helps Cheerilee, Cheerilee takes notice of the little panda and decides to lighten the mood with a little joke.”
“Don’t you think you’re a little old to have a stuffed animal?” Cheerilee asked him, giggling a little bit.
“I didn’t say the joke would be funny. Bandit is in stunned silence, but Cheerilee mistakes this for a little embarrassment and promises not to say a word. Sealing the deal with a wink, not knowing that her fate was sealed, thanks to a brief frown from Penny that both parties didn’t see.”
Penny had the frown on her face from her spot, only for the normal smile to be back on her face as Cheerilee walked past, blocking her view until she was past the two.
“Bandit goes along with it and as Cheerilee walks away, Bandit picks Penny back up and puts her back in the bag, assuming Chad might have pulled this as a prank, he keeps her there throughout the day. During lunch, Bandit talks to Chad about the prank, but Chad doesn’t have a clue what he’s talking about. Sending some red flags through Bandit’s mind.”
“No, I didn’t put anything in your bag.” Chad responded. Bandit looked back at his bag. “I promise.”
“I believe you. I believe you.” Bandit answered.
“Bandit then decides to ask Rainbow Dash and Lightning Sprint, the primary pranksters of the group before thinking outside the box and deciding to ask his mom if she put the panda in his pack, to which she answers honestly that she’s the prankster responsible.”
“Did I get you?” Celestia asked as she laughed a little.
“Yes. Yes you did. You made me think I was dealing with one of those killer toys from the horror movies.” Bandit told her, relief in his voice.
“Gotcha.” Celestia said with a wink.
“After this little humorous moment, the day goes on and school day finally comes to an end. Bandit stays behind to help the staff clean up after hours. Leaving his bag unattended, Penny unzips his bag and crawls out sneaking out to go find Cheerilee. Dawww, isn’t she adorable? For those who don’t know, Penny was actually designed by Kama bunch-a-middle-names Chadwickson IV, who took inspiration from his own stuffed Panda Quincy and combining it with one of Bandit’s old stuffed animal designs, Linda the lion, who had those pink eyes and pink bow. The tutu was added for no other reason than to add cuteness to the character.”
Penny did a little twirl as she kept moving.
“So adorable. Not only did Chad design Penny, but took turns animating and puppeteering Penny with Spike. Not only does this look fun but it brought a bunch of life to the Panda, which almost makes up for the lives she’s about to take. Penny gets to Cheerilee’s class and sees she’s hard at work grading papers. Penny wants to play a game though and isn’t taking no for an answer. She wants to play the classics. Rock, Paper-”
Cheerilee graded a paper as a C-. She put the paper down and reached for another one, only for a pair of scissors to be forced through her hand and the table. She let out a shrill scream and another pair of scissors shoved into her other hand. The blood spilled out, leaking onto the floor.
“-Scissors! Penny Play Panda’s pretty pissed from that previous proclaimation, so she takes another pair of scissors and sticks them blade up on the desk.”
“Too old for stuffed animals huh? Well guess what.” Penny grabbed her head and slammed it right onto the scissors, piercing her eyes and going clean through her skull. “You were too young to die.”
Miss Cheerilee #1
15 mins
Heath Ledger’d into a desk, scissors through the face
“Ouch! Cheerilee is killed with a vicious head slam into a pair of scissors, giving us a shocking, yet memorable kill. This kill was achieved with a dummy that looked exactly like Cheerilee to get the scissors slammed into, that Cheerilee actually got to keep. It was miraculously done in one take, with Cheerilee slamming her own dummy’s head down with a panda sleeve to look like Penny’s paw.”
With Spike holding up the Penny panda on the desk, Cheerilee slammed her dummy onto the scissors. The blood tube leaked out the dummy for a few seconds.
“Cut!” Rarity called out.
“How was that?” Cheerilee asked as she took the sleeve off.
“That was perfect.” Photo Finish praised.
“Penny releases that she can’t leave the body there, and drags her to the window and tosses her outside before scampering back to Bandit’s bag, but stops and heads to a bathroom to clean the blood off her paws. Take notes y’all, even killer pandas wash their hands. She cleans herself off before heading back to the bag. Bandit grabs his bag and begins heading out, but he takes note of Cheerilee’s car still in the parking lot. A telltale sign that something’s up. Bandit will remember that. Bandit puts Penny back into the shelf, and heads to sleep. He wakes up at around 2 in the morning and unable to go back to sleep, he decides to take a walk outside. He walks past the school and, sho ‘nough, Cheerilee’s car is still there. He goes to investigate, attempting to go around to the back of the school so he could climb up to the roof to get into school, but as he walks, he stumbles across Cheerilee’s garden, with Cheerilee being the biggest weed there. No theatrical play to cover this up. Bandit’s freaked out and quickly calls the police. They try to render this a suicide, but Bandit argues that she was definitely murdered, because obviously she wouldn’t be able to stab both of her hands with scissors, stab herself with scissors so hard that it comes out through the back of her head and then throw herself out the window. Copper Top and Bandit argue very briefly, getting the disapproval of a particularly petty panda. Until Copper Top tells Bandit that she needs to get access to the classroom for investigation, so Bandit climbs onto the roof, actually scaling the school building himself in this one take, which nearly got him grounded.”
“No one told my mother that I was gonna be climbing the school to get on the roof. So when she walked on set and saw me halfway up the school, she was mad.” Bandit was saying in an interview with Twilight sitting next to him. She giggled a bit.
“She almost grounded him for that. It was pretty hilarious.” Twilight told the camera as Bandit jokingly rolled his eyes.
“While Bandit’s making his way the door, Penny’s looking to play another game of Rock Paper Scissors, this time deciding to pick rock, but before she could another kill on her belt, Bandit opens the door and gets Copper Top’s attention. Giving us this pretty scary moment.”
Penny got ready to through the rock, before she could, the front door was heard opening. Penny looked over her shoulder, the camera turning with her revealing Bandit coming around the corner.
“Officer, the door’s open.” Bandit said. The camera turned back and Copper was walking towards him, Penny no longer there.
“As Penny hides from sight, Copper Top and Bandit walked to the classroom to confirm that, yes, Cheerilee was murdered. Those holes in the desk combined with both scissors in Cheerilee’s hands being blatant evidence of that. She sends Bandit home so she can call it in and As Bandit goes back home, Penny finish that game of Rock Paper Scissors.”
As soon as Bandit was out the hall and headed down the stairs, there was a knock on Cheerilee’s door. This confused Copper Top as the door was opened, and she cautiously goes to investigate. Drawing her pistol and slowly walking into the class. She got into the class only for the door to swing towards her, with Penny holding onto it, slamming the rock into her face, impaling it into her cheekbone, and popping out her right eye.
“Put that on Papers all you want, but that paper ain’t beating rock.”
Copper Top #2
23 mins
Rock impaled her face
“Copper Top collapses to the ground as Bandit goes back home. Celestia’s up for a late-night/early morning cake snack and she’s not too happy her son was out late, but that annoyance turns to worry when he tells her what happened to Cheerilee, not aware of the fate that befell Copper Top. As they talk, Penny sneaks her way back into the house through the window and going to the bathroom to clean the blood off her paw. Turning the light on and alerting the two of her presence. Armed with a kitchen knife, Celestia goes to check it out, but finds nothing there. Bandit wakes up Chad and Luna and has Luna watch Chad as he and Celestia check every nook and cranny, all while Penny sits on that shelf, free of being accused of being sus. The next morning, other students get to the school, only to see it closed off by the police.”
“So does this mean no school?” Snips asked, getting slapped in the back of the head by Diamond Tiara.
“Bandit comes to the crowd to tell them that Cheerilee was murdered, and then the police officer pulls him aside to have him questioned since he was with Copper Top that night and is given the bombshell that she was murdered last night by awesome actor Boulder. Bandit is able to convince the cop that he isn’t the killer, but since Penny wasn’t the only peeper on this conversation as they were being spied on by the peat and growerful eavesdropper Trixie, it doesn’t take long for rumors to start. Not taking kindly to rumors being started, Penny sniffs out her next target, one of many to come next. In Trixie’s house, Penny uses chloroform to put her to sleep. Nighty Night. Trixie wakes up with her mouth sewn shut and strapped in a box prop meant to give the illusion that someone was sawed in half. You can all see where this is going. Penny tries to saw her in half, but the blade was fake, much to Penny’s dismay.”
“Are you kidding me?! I get the whole illusional deal, but what kind of magician uses a fake saw for this? Great and Powerful lie more like.” Penny scolded, throwing the fake saw at her face.
“As Penny goes off to find something sharp, Celestia’s home is also investigated by the police. After Bandit tells them that the light was turned on and the window was left open. The other members of the main 8 plus Spike stop by to tell Bandit about the rumors circulating that he was the killer. The police are quick to shut this accusation down, saying Bandit’s story adds up. Unfortunately, the friends aren’t convinced that it’ll be enough to keep Bandit from being a prime suspect in this Among us server. The real imposter finally finds something sharp, a two-man saw, and places it on top of the slot, and starts pushing down, stopping just short of Trixie’s torso, much to Penny’s frustration. She throws away the two-man saw and picked the fake saw from earlier, putting it into the slot, and begins jumping down on the handle, driving the blade through Trixie’s torso-”
The Great and Powerful Trixie #3
31 mins
Sawed in half by her own trick
“-turning her into a victim from The Banana Splits Movie. All that’s missing is a Tada.”
“TADAAAAA!” Penny said from on top of the saw.
“There we go. Penny picks up Trixie’s phone and to see all the names she spread the rumors to, and everyone who believed it. Come on Lyra, you didn’t even try to ask for evidence like Bon Bon did. I mean sure, she still believed he did it but now both of y’all is bout to get killed. Lyra gets out of her house and heads down to her bestie Bon Bon’s car, but uh-”
Bon Bon #4
33 mins
Throat slit by Penny off screen
“Yeah, Bon bon’s got a bunch of claw marks on her throat and Lyra gets into the car, talking about a movie she watched for 15 seconds before realizing her review fell upon death ears.”
Lyra moves Bon Bon’s body to reveal the slashes. Penny jumped out the glove box, scaring Lyra.
Lyra Heartstrings #5
36 mins
Clawed to death by Penny
“Penny begins ripping into Lyra, both literally and physically. Tearing into her body with her claws and shaming her for believing Bandit was a bad guy. Yeah, not exactly helping his case when you’re doing this in defense of him.”
Penny walked out of the car and Lyra’s body slumped out, covered in slashes and blood.
“Glad we understand each other.” Penny said.
“What? No we don’t. Are you even listening to me? The next day, Twilight and Sunset stop by Bandit’s door, banging on his door like she wants to sell him something. He opens the door and gives the news that Trixie, Lyra and Bon Bon were the next victims. Taking my job on the kill count.”
“Cheerilee, Officer Top, Bon Bon, Trixie and Lyra? The heck did this killer have against those 5 that he killed them all within two nights?” Bandit asked as he tried to think.
“What’s next? You assign the best and worst kills? Don’t even think about it. They spend a few minutes discussing possible suspects before Twilight goes to the bathroom. Sunset spots an old picture of Bandit with Penny Panda and takes a moment to share an experience. But Bandit let’s slip about Penny’s voice box randomly going off and scaring him when he was a kid. That’s when Sunset reveals, Penny Pandas don’t have a voice box.”
“I just pressed her voice box yesterday.” Bandit said. The two of them realize the same thing and ran upstairs to Bandit’s room. Penny was on the shelf, he pressed the stomach, stopping short of the button inside.
“I’m Penny! I love making friends!” Penny said through her voice box.
“I could’ve sworn they didn’t have voice boxes.” Sunset said. Bandit looked at her.
“I didn’t press the button.” Bandit told her.
“Bandit bolts out the room to grab the phone and call the cops, but upon realizing Sunset isn’t behind him and took the phone with him to go see what happened. Only to see Sunset twitching on the floor.”
Sunset Shimmer #6
45 mins
Throat Slashed by Penny
“Bleeding from her neck with Penny no longer hiding that she’s alive, and looking to Bandit for approval. Leading to a very uncomfortable scene.”
“Do you like it?” Penny asked.
“What?!” Bandit exclaimed.
“Do you like how I took care of this? I wanted to make it quick so that-” Bandit closed the door and held it shut. Penny knocked on the door politely. “Hey, why did you close the door? Oh! Are we playing hide and seek?! I’ll count to 100!”
“Twilight comes out the bathroom and Bandit gets her and Chad out of the house, making sure the cops know that Penny’s hear. Telling them that the murderer is in the house. Good thing he didn’t describe what the killer looks like, cause a tiny homicidal Panda killing anything that disagreed with Bandit in the slightest probably would’ve left him on hold. Meanwhile back at the house, Penny is still counting when the cops show up, breaking into the home and ready catch their murderous melanoleuca. Penny mistakes them for intruders and it gets her ready for blood. She peaks out the room and does my job for me, counting the 5 police officers in the house before sneaking into Celestia room and grabbing a lamp. She leaves the door open and one of the cops goes up to remind her she doesn’t live in a barn, only for him to get hit in the head with a lamp. The other cops are alerted and run upstairs, but it’s too late-”
Random Cop 1 #7
52 mins
Throat Slashed with a Lamp piece
“Penny has relieved him of duty, and isn’t gonna be the only one, because these poor cops just became the first visitors to the ever exclusive, Penny’s Playhouse. The rules are simple. No Smoking. No Food or Drinks. No running in the halls.”
One of the cops heard something in the kitchen and ran over to check it out, a hammer swing from Penny collides with his ankle and sends him tumbling down the stairs.
“Goodness dude, I said no running in the halls. Great, now Penny has to bring the hammer down on the rule breaker.”
Penny slams the hammer onto the officer’s head, cracking his forehead open.
Random Cop 2 #8
53 mins
Head Hammered In
“Another officer gets a shot off on Penny, hitting her paw and causing her to flee. Unhappy about the hole in her paw, Penny gets creative on how to do away with these ungrateful guests that ruined her pedicure. So she heads to the garage and grabs a few surprise tools that’ll help her later.”
Random Cop 3 #9
57 mins
Whipped with Barbed Wire
“These next three cops are killed in some very creative ways that were actually suggested by the actors playing the cops. The third cop gets his throat cut open with a barb wire, whipped by Penny herself.”
Random Cop 4 #10
58 mins
Head dunked in boiling water and shot
“The forth cop gets his head dunked in boiling water and then used as a bullet shield for Penny when the last cop tries to shoot at Penny. Penny hides and the cop and panda perform a beautiful long take spanning over 3 minutes that was a pain for the cast and crew to perform. The actor playing the fifth cop, Normal Norman, had a hard time keeping up with the timing of the camera movement while making sure not to slip on the obstacles on the ground. This take took longer than most of the production because it took them 117 different takes for them to get it right.”
“We started to call that one scene the Halo take.” Normal Norman said in an interview. “Because it took us 117 tries before we...well I finally got it right.”
“Penny finally gets the drop on Officer Normal with a wine bottle to the face, knocking him to the ground. Penny grabs his gun and points it under his chin but instead of being boring with a gun kill she takes it up a notch by repeating her process with Cheerilee and slamming his eye through the barrel of the gun.”
Officer Normal #11
1 hr 1 mins
Barrel of his own gun shoved through his eye
“And Bandit says gun kills are boring.” Penny said as she started dragging him off.
“In horror movies they are, but this kill is far from. Continuing the hide and seek game, she keeps counting, getting rid of the bodies, sewing up the hole in her paw, and cleaning the house, she finally gets to 100 and ready or not, here she comes. She starts looking for Bandit. Bandit, Spike, Chad and Twilight park the car very far off to throw Penny off before heading into the school to set up a few traps. Keeping themselves on the first floor, they come up with a bunch of traps, only for Flash to spot them and start asking questions. He’s looking for Sunset and is a bit worried about her wellbeing and doesn’t like it when Bandit tells her she was killed. Flash goes into denial and starts getting aggressive which gets Penny’s attention. Bandit tries to calm him down but Flash gets physical. Bandit, quite easily, shoves him backwards and tries to explain, but Flash is having none of that and goes in to attack. Bandit pins him to the locker and tries to explain that Penny came to life and did all this killing. Flash doesn’t have a lot of time to say he’s full of shit because Penny pops up on Bandit’s shoulder and latches onto Flash’s face, biting onto forehead to reenact the bite of ‘87. Bandit quickly tries to pull Penny off, but Penny’s locked on tight.”
Flash Sentry #12
1 hr 7 mins
Bite of ‘87ed by Penny
“Flash gets his skull crushed by Penny’s paw and Bandit’s horrified by this demonic toy. Penny doesn’t see anything wrong and instead tries to celebrate winning hide and seek. Bandit and company aren’t as celebratory and backed up against the wall. Penny gets confused and tries to talk to him.”
“What’s wrong? You don’t wanna play hide and seek? Is everything okay?” Penny asked.
“No! Nothing is okay!” Bandit exclaimed, keeping himself in front of Twilight, Chad and Spike.
“Oh, I’m so sorry. Do you want a hug?”
“No! Stay back!”
“Penny is wondering why Bandit’s freaking out, and Bandit tells her off about her killing. Penny confesses that she’s done it before when Bandit was but a child. We get a flashback of young Solar Comet and young River Lilly trying to bully Bandit for his girly taste in toys, Bandit doesn’t let this get to him but does make the mistake of wishing he didn’t have to hear their annoying voices again. Penny was like, your wish is my command, and sneaks out to do what Penny does best. She sneaks into Solar comet’s house first and drags him out quietly. Late at night, River Lilly is woken up and offered a cupcake by Penny. She accepts and takes a bite because who doesn’t love cupcakes?
Cupcakes, so sweet and tasty
Cupcakes, blood filled and hasty?”
Solar Comet #13
1 hr 20 mins
Killed off screen and turned into a cupcake
“Cupcakes Cupcakes Cupcakes.
After River realized she just ate her own cousin, she starts dry heaving and choking. Not from Penny’s cooking, but from poison.”
River Lilly #14
1 hr 21 mins
Poisoned by Penny
“Penny finishes her story and asks Bandit if he’s proud of her, Bandit tells her hell no and talks about how wrong she is in this. He gets through to her and Penny realizes that she has become a monster and starts crying. Bandit feels a bit of sympathy for his childhood Panda so he gives her a hug. Penny definitely appreciates the hug, but as soon as Bandit let her go, she takes off running. In the last scene of the film, Penny finds herself at the edge of the cliff, she thanks Bandit for being her friend and then stepped off the cliff to her death. And no, as much as I like Penny, she was still just a stuffed animal. I’m not gonna put her on the count. After falling off the cliff, the movie ends. How many killed did this pandamonious murder panda rack up? Let’s find out and get to the numbers.”
An arm, holding a stuffed Penny Panda came in from the left side and began ‘attacking’ Jackpot.
“Ah! Stop it! Noooooooooo!” He playfully fell to the ground, out of the screen’s line of sight.
“Excluding the Penny herself, by my count, 14 characters died, a total of 7 males and 7 females, giving us an even pie chart dead smack in the middle. With a runtime of an hour and 27 minutes, that brings us to a kill on average every 6.21 minutes.”
“I’ll give the Golden Chainsaw for Coolest Kill to Trixie. Hands down. Being sawed in half was bad enough, but being torn in half by an incredibly dull prop was even worse. The practical effects made this the most memorable kill of the movie.”
“Dull Machete for lamest kill is gonna go to River Lilly. Solar Comet’s kill may have been off screen, but there was still some bloody aftermath. River Lilly just choked on some poison and died. And that’s it. Penny Play Panda rolled with a rather interesting Premise on the killer toy genre, and made the move very enjoyable to watch. I’m currently eyeballing Nightmare Hunger, so let me know if you want to see that. Until then, I’m Jade J. Jackpot, this has been the Kill Count.”
Author's Note
Just wanted to do a little something for October. Something along the lines of horror without having to be entirely creepy. Hope you like this.
Obviously, inspired by Kill Count, though I'm certain this doesn't count as a crossover.
Lemme know if you wanna see more.
Kill Count- Nightmare Hunger (MLP)
"Welcome to the kill count, where we tally up the victims in all your favorite horror movies. I'm Jade J. Jackpot, and today we’re gonna be looking at Nightmare Hunger, a short film made by The mane 8 themselves. Nightmare Hunger was inspired when Bandit was just an 8 year old and was told a rather derogatory comment as he grew up. And Bandit decided to turn it into a short film creepypasta. A 25 minute tension thrill ride with some very memorable kills. Following Bandit and Chad as they are observed by Twilight who sent them after her friends to get some research on how changelings would hunt ponies, as well as showing just how screwed Ponies would be if they ever decided to prove how big of Apex Predators the Red Carapace Changelings are. This short film was so amazing that it inspired a film named Feral Ling, a movie not nearly as good. How many ponies do these two blood-thirsty changelings turn to glue? Let’s find out and get to the kills.”
“The movie begins with Rainbow Dash in the Everfree Forest, running cause she’s stuck in her middle name. If you’re wondering why she’s running, it’s because her wings have been ripped off. Not wanting to be the latest victim for her own Rainbow Factory, she’s trying to get to Ponyville to warn the others of what she’s running from, but before she can, Bandit scoops down from the sky and flies her into a tree.”
Rainbow Dash #1
4 mins
Decapitated by Bandit
“Holding her there and keeping her mouth closed, he bites into her neck and uses his hooves to tear her head off, dropping her body to Chad and letting him reap the benefits. Bet she tastes like skittles. This kill was inspired by how owls hunt their food, decapitating their prey before they get to the nest. I really do appreciate the makeup effects team for this kill, accomplished by Rainbow Dash having to have the dummy head on her shoulders for Bandit to rip off. Twilight comes out of a bush, documenting what she just witnessed, fascinated by what she’s witnessed. Her friends don’t know it yet, but they’re in the Experiments of Twilight Sparkle. Now Twilight wants to see how a unicorn would fair against being hunted by an R double C, in P-O-N-Y-V-I-L-L-E. After Chad and Bandit leave no traces, evening eating Rainbow Dash’s bones, Twilight tells them to go after Rarity, and Chad volunteers to go for the kill. Chad covers himself in Rainbow’s blood and gets to Rarity’s boutique knocking on her door. And this is the moment where most of us would die because when Rarity saw Chad seemingly injured I actually forgot Cad just got done tasting the Rainbow.”
Rarity opened the door and saw Chad covered in blood and gasped.
“Oh no, you poor thing!” Rarity said, scooping him up, and bringing him inside.
“Don’t lie, you would’ve done the same, and if you say you wouldn’t, yous a fucken liar. Rarity brings Chad inside and goes to get a first aid kit, however, as soon as the door was closed behind her, Chad goes right for the kill.
Rarity #2
8 mins
Neck broken and ripped by Chad
“Chad bites into her neck and shakes before she even has a chance to realize was wrong, breaking it and tearing out some flesh, which he consumes. The way she dropped so suddenly after the kill was honestly the most disturbing thing to me. No Score, No exaggerated death, just a neck bop and a sudden stop. Not even extra blo-
Chad was eating Rarity from the rear hooves up, already at her midsection with her organs spilling out.
“Oh never mind, that’s a lot of blood. Twilight documents this and want to see how they’d fare against the strength of an earth pony and sends Bandit after Pinkie, and fair warning, what happens next is pretty disgusting so look away if you’re easily disturbed. Pinkie doesn’t even get a chance to understand what was going on before Bandit ran in and bit into her next, shaking her like a rag doll.”
Pinkie Pie #3
13 mins
Neck broken and shaken like a rag doll
“Pinkie’s kill was accomplished by the use of a full identical dummy for Bandit to shake around, and the fact that Bandit was strong enough to shake such a heavy doll scared his friends, yeah, that’s actually him, shaking a 160lbs dummy like it was a chew toy. Notice how the changeling brothers have so far been hunting similar to that of animals. First an Owl, then a Wolverine, then a wolf, and now a snake. Wait wha-”
Bandit’s jaw unhinged and he began swallow Pinkie whole, starting from the head. Jade J Jackpot shivered very uncomfortably.
“Ew! As Pinkie gets swallowed by Bandit, Chad was at Sweet Apple Acres, walking to a disabled Applejack. Applejack, you’re in danger right now, why aren’t you screaming right now?”
As Applejack was crawling, unable to use her back legs due to a bite crushing her spinal cord, and she had a hoof on her bleeding neck, a result from a bite that silenced her.
“Oh that’s why. Chad stalks Applejack and gets to her before she can get to the barn, biting the top of her head.”
Applejack #4
15 mins
Skull crushed by Chad
“Chad crushes Applejack’s head and sends blood everywhere! Holy shit! Even Chad was surprised at how much that went everywhere. Seriously, that surprised look on Chad’s face wasn’t intentional. No one knew it was gonna explode like that. With two pegasi left on the list, Lightning Sprint, and Fluttershy, Twilight decides to go with Chad to see how he goes about eating someone alive, but not until she watches Bandit kill Fluttershy. After Fluttershy’s precious Angel is missing, Fluttershy goes out to look for him, missing the foreshadowing of her death written on the wall in the dorm of a leopard. Hint Hint nudge nudge. She goes into the Everfree forest where she finds Angel tied up and gagged at the base of a tree. Trying to point to the tree above him, but since he was tied up from his arms, legs and ears, Fluttershy was in the dark about who was in the tree until this happened.”
Fluttershy walked over to Angel, who was still darting his eyes up. She noticed too little too late and before she could look up, Bandit dropped out of the tree and bit her right in the neck.
Fluttershy #5
19 mins
Neck Broken by Bandit dropping out of the tree
“This scared the hell out of me when I watched the film because we knew it was coming but couldn’t tell when. The way they accomplished this kill was actually much more practical than I thought. Like Pinkie Pie, they had a life-sized dummy in place of Fluttershy so Bandit could land on her, but to make this look as real as possible, they had to switch out Fluttershy with her dummy after Bandit had already jumped out the tree. Bandit was required to start flying right before he landed on Fluttershy so that they could switch her with the dummy, jump out the tree again and land on the dummy. As you can tell, this took a shit ton of takes, but the aftermath left us with the most memorable kill of the film, so their hard work had paid off. Our last kill is the most painful to watch since Lightning Sprint tries to fight but uh….Lightning?”
Bandit was clutching Lightning Sprint’s throat as he front hooves were hitting his neck, which wasn’t doing much to deter Bandit as Chad was tearing into her stomach and eating her alive.
“You know what, you look busy. I’ll come back.”
Lightning Sprint #6
21 mins
Eaten Alive By Chad
“Lightning Sprint finally kicks the bucket and as soon as she does, Bandit wakes up horrified from the nightmare he just said, turns out, all his friends are alive! And he was having a horrifying nightmare. The film ends with a TITLE CARD!”
“And then the credits. This was a short video, appropriate considering this is a short film. How many ponies were turned into a late night snack for our favorite bug bois? Let’s find out and get to the numbers-
A changeling dropped from the ceiling and landed on Jade. Coming back up was a female Changeling with a pink bow on her head, having Jade’s neck nonlethally off-screen in her mouth. She then walked to the left, disappearing off screen.
Jade walked to the background that counted his kills.
“I know Bandit had a nightmare about eating his friends so technically no one died, but Only six characters died in Nightmare hunger, impressive for a film only 30 minutes long with 5 of those minutes being credited to everyone involved with the film. All of the victims were mares, meaning Bandit and Chad really are into Cherry-Grape pie. With a run time of 30 minutes, that brings us to a kill on average every 5 minutes flat.”
“I’ll give the golden chainsaw for coolest kill to….all of them. I’m unable to decide between Rainbow’s decapitation, Rarity’s sudden stop, Pinkie being swallowed hole, Applejack getting jaguar’d. Fluttershy getting Leopard’d, or Lightning Sprint being eaten alive. Which thus means no dull machete. And that’s it. Nightmare Hunger’s premise as a changeling being a hunter inspired a film called Feral Ling, and whereas this was a memorable short film, Feral Ling was not. Next time I’m gonna be looking at a martial arts horror film called Double Trouble. Until then, I’m Jade J. Jackpot, this has been the kill count.”
Author's Note
Yeah, this was short, I know. But it was a short 'film' after all. Don't worry, the next one will be longer.
See you guys next time.
