Worlds of Destiny

by NightFlame389

Rating: teen
Tags: Violence, Crossover, Gore, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Death, Human, SCP Foundation, Grogar, Other, Pony of Shadows, Original Character, Self Insert, Profanity, Adventure
Length: 38784

Grogar failed miserably to conquer Equestria, and now he's trying again. But when he's up against the SCP Foundation, several speedsters, and the author's self-insert OC, can he possibly take back Equestria?

Iteration 1 (no longer exists outside of a single google doc and the wayback machine; complete)
Iteration 2 (the rewritten version)
Iteration 3 (mostly identical to Iteration 2 with a few changes, mostly where the in-between scenes are, a little bit extra for the Pony of Shadows to do, and the removal of some bad jokes and a lot of profanity)

Currently in Iteration 2.1, but only up to Seven Seals. Everything else is still Iteration 2

Everything Involved: Loomis Comics, My Little Pony G4 (Movie and FiM), SCP Foundation, the Holy Bible (the Book of Genesis), Sonic the Hedgehog, The Flash (2014), Skylanders Academy, Among Us, Team Fortress 2, Kirby, and Undertale (the last four are debatable)

Light violence (like the kind of thing you'd see in an animated movie) should be fine without this tag.

*Laughs in Green Snake*

Anyway, time for the real description.

The SCP Foundation has been working to keep the anomalous under wraps for centuries. A single discovery may lead to their destruction.

The Crown Court has been peaceful since the Great War many years ago. The peace they have enjoyed is about to break.

Grogar escaped from his prison during Cozy Glow’s brief reign over Equestria, but before he could launch his assault, he was sent to hell. Now, with a new ally, he escapes, and prepares to reconquer Equestria.

Their destinies will collide, worlds will die, and the multiverse will never be the same.

Death tag because in chapter 7 alone I killed 5 billion people. The death count otherwise is in the triple digits range.
Violence and gore mostly in the final chapter
Profanity because... why not
Chessmaster is the final chapter packed to the brim with "comedy". From Temple Peak onward, the subplots have very little comedy while the main plot keeps its "comedy" all the way until Destiny (does not apply to Iteration 3)

Totally real reviews:

Comedy is trash, doesn't represent the struggles of trans people in Ukraine, barely even has My Little Pony in it. Then again, you perfectly encapsulated my sense of humor.
-P.R.U.A.L.C.S.
★★★★☆

Literally just trash. Would give zero stars if I could.
-ShadeFire
★☆☆☆☆

WHAT A MASTERPIECE!
-TotallyNotNightFlame123
★★★★★

How do I rate? Anyway 11/10, NightFlame for King of the Labyrinth
-King Minos
☆☆☆☆☆ (rating pending)

I think I shat myself
-Thomas
★★★★☆

Not nearly enough adult jokes, but have a five star anyway.
-Loomis
★★★★★

Please stop, we all know you're just wanking your OCs at this point
-Spencer
★☆☆☆☆

I think I broke something, how do I fix it?
-The Hackerman
★☆★☆★

I loved this
Edit: I can edit my review but how do I edit my rating
-aaabaaajss
★☆☆☆☆

Published 2021-02-19 00:00:01 UTC
Last updated 2023-03-19 18:51:09 UTC

First Encounter

The chance to be free was in his grasp, and it slipped away just as fast. While the bearers of the Elements of Harmony were trapped in Tartarus, the Pillars and Royal Sisters were without magic, and the Royal Guard was preoccupied with Cozy Glow, the last piece of his magical prison broke. He managed to escape, massively weakened.

By the time he made it to Mount Everhoof, someone else had already stolen his bell. He tracked them to his old skull cave. He had realized someone had been impersonating him. He watched on as his windigos returned to wreak havoc. He had watched as the three villains overpowered the impostor, and proceeded to conquer Equus. He had watched on as their teamwork destroyed the Pillars, the Elements, and more.

He was almost proud of them. But then they lost, just when victory was in their grasp. As long as the Spirit lived on, he could not have his victory. He planned to take their statue and release them, and conquer the world.

It had been two weeks since Twilight’s coronation. He wanted to find his bell and take back what was rightfully his. He paced around his cave, different magical artifacts scattered around. The Alicorn Amulet, the Memory Stone, the Helm of Shadows, the Misfortune Malachite, and the Time Twirler were all gathered within the span of a few weeks. The Rings of Scorchero were heavily guarded by a group of guardian creatures, and the Bewitching Bell and the Staff of Sacanas were locked up in Canterlot.

He formulated a plan he could use with just the four artifacts he had. Stealth wasn’t his strong suit, but with what he had, it was his only option. He planned on breaking into the School of Friendship to steal the six artifacts stored there, then use those to attack Canterlot. He could exert control over some monsters, but with the amount of power he had, it wouldn’t be worth it. Besides, Tartarus was too well defended ever since the trick Discord pulled.

He looked over his resources one last time. He swiped the Alicorn Amulet and the Memory Stone and prepared to leave. Just as he was about to step outside, a blue glowing portal opened behind him. He stopped, sighed, and turned around to face this newest distraction.

“Hello, Grogar,” NightFlame said, introducing himself. He was standing with someone else. “I’m NightFlame, and this is Loomis.” Grogar sized the two of them up, to see how big of a threat they may be.

NightFlame stood twice as tall as Grogar when he was on all fours. The amount of discipline on display suggested a martial arts background, but no military training.

Loomis was a few inches shorter than NightFlame. He had light brown hair and green eyes. He stood with a slight slouch, and Grogar could easily tell he was non-athletic. A golden crown floated in the air above his head, but other than that, there was nothing notable about him.

“Who are you, who sent you, and why are you here?” Grogar asked, without giving them time to answer. He already had the Amulet in hoof, ready to use it in case things turned south.

“I already answered the first question, we sent ourselves, and we’re here to tell you to go to hell.” Loomis nodded as NightFlame stepped forward. “My name is NightFlame, but I have been called many names, most recently Bitch-Ass Motherfucker.”

“Why would you let anyone call you that?”

“You’ll find out soon enough. What were you planning to do?” NightFlame continued getting closer, as Loomis took a seat.

“Nothing much, just take over Equestria,” Grogar answered with complete honesty.

“Ooh. Looks like I’m gonna have to reschedule,” NightFlame said. Grogar tilted his head in confusion.

“Your obsession with Equestria is a bit worrying,” Loomis noted.

“Not as much as your obsession with that weird Australia thing where nine drunk dudes hate each other and try to kill each other.” At this point NightFlame was right in front of Grogar.

“That’s a weird way to say I play TF2.”

“Hold on,” Grogar interrupted, “Back to the part where you said you had to reschedule. What was that about?”

“You’ll find out soon enough,” NightFlame said, as he punched Grogar. The ram’s spirit left his body as he plummeted down to the deepest pits of hell.

“Was that really necessary?” Loomis asked once they were safe at their base.

“Trust me, it will set off a chain of events that will lead to us finally winning that war.” NightFlame popped a couple Cheez-its in his mouth. He held out the package to Loomis. “Want some?”

Loomis reached his hand in and grabbed a singular Cheez-it. He didn’t eat it. He instead got up and walked out to the kitchen. Inside, his faithful assistant Ospot Cobblewald was washing dishes. “Hey Ospot, remember to tell Lawrence he’s not allowed to start World War III, then stop British and Australian Drug Dealer from conquering the world with opium.”

“Will do, my good sir,” Ospot replied. “I’ll even try to stop Wilson from invading Brazil.”

“Good. This world cannot fall if NightFlame fails like his predecessor.” Loomis shuddered as he remembered the one who came before. An image of a tall, wiry humanoid with blank white eyes and unnaturally long fingers flashed into his mind. As soon as it entered, he pushed it away.

Loomis tossed Ospot a Cheez-it. “Keep up the good work.”

“Yes siree bob!” Ospot promised. As Loomis walked away, Ospot hummed something about a penguin to himself.

Fires burned, demons roamed, and horrible evils ruled the land. After some time, Grogar had gotten used to being here. Only two years had passed since he fell, yet it felt like an eternity. He was expecting some ancient villains from Equestria to also have ended up in hell, but all he saw was his father, a centaur named Tirac, and some of the monsters slain by Gusty the Great. It seemed as if the only other villains from Equestria in hell ended up in higher circles.

On his second day in hell, he had learned that time ran differently. Almost everyone who ended up in the deepest pits of hell had been there for thousands of years, even if they only died yesterday. He heard legends of one who had been there since the Flood. His only sin was envy, but he was driven mad by the demons. While he had just been a farmer before, he now was bent on destroying the world he came from.

Speaking of the demons, Grogar realized he created a very similar creature while he was alive. Apparently they were driven extinct by Star Swirl and the Pillars. Not only did Harmony plot against him at every turn, but she raised several generations of heroes to oppose him.

He packed up his things and moved on from where he was. He often left marks visible to those who were airborne wherever he went. He looked up towards his next stop. A cliff, with a cave conveniently placed. He leapt up and started his climb.

The cave was just big enough for him to hide out in for a few days. In the back was a raised platform perfect for a bed. On every wall and the ceiling were cave paintings.

He drew a circle on the ledge and went to sleep. As he drifted off, the paintings began glowing blue.

“Sleep tight, my pawn. Soon, you’ll be one step closer to your dream.”

Author's Note

Giving characters motivation.

I wholeheartedly swear this is the shortest chapter.

Ancient Evils

Grogar drew circles in the rocks. He had been in that location for three days now, without encountering anyone else. It was quiet. Too quiet. Normally, he would have been able to hear the screams of the damned. Now, all he could hear was a faint tapping sound.

Grogar climbed up onto his makeshift bed, and curled up to sleep. He heard the sound of an ice pick digging into stone above him, but elected to ignore it.

Before he could drift off, Grogar heard the sound of footsteps approaching. He opened one eye to see a shirtless muscular human. The human had a beard, black hair, and green eyes. In one hand was a map, in the other was a compass.

“Who are you?” Grogar asked, now fully upright on his “bed”. The human’s eyes widened. The human turned around to look at the one who spoke to him.

“Who are you?” the human asked. “Are you some sort of talking goat?”

“I am not a goat,” Grogar angrily said. Many had made the same mistake before, none had survived. Grogar’s horns lit up with yellow magic, and he prepared to kill the new offender.

“Oh well. Hey, my name’s Cain, and I’ve been searching for a way out for about five thousand years now.”

Grogar’s magic dissipated. “Five thousand years? What did you do to get locked down here?”

“Oh, nothing much. Just killed my brother, lied about killing him, you know, the usual. The name’s Cain, by the way."

"I'm Grogar, but that's Emperor Grogar II of Tambelon to you."

"Well, Emperor Grogar II of Tambelon, you wanna get out of here?”

“Why wouldn't I? All I need is my bell."

“Your what now?” Cain questioned Grogar’s sentence.

“Bell. You ring it, it makes noise, sucks the power out of anyone its aimed at? You know what I’m talking about?”

“I know what a bell is, dipshit. What was that last thing?”

“Noise?” Grogar said.

“No, the other last thing. Sucking the power out of whoever it’s aimed at.”

“That is a property unique to my bell.” As Grogar and Cain continued to talk about the Bewitching Bell, said bell fell out of the air and bonked Cain on the head.

“Oww!” He picked up the bell from the ground, putting the compass in the same hand as the map. “Is this it?”

“Yes, now give it to me!”

“Not so fast. I’m keeping it until we get out.”

“Fine,” Grogar grumbled. He'd find a way to steal it anyways.

Grogar and Cain trekked through the terrain, keeping silent the entire time. Every now and then, Cain checked his map to make sure they were on the right path.

When Cain finally stopped without looking at his map, Grogar turned to him and said, “Where are we?”

“Look ahead,” Cain responded. Grogar turned his attention to the place Cain was looking. Two giant iron doors loomed overhead, decorated with several images. One of which was a man that looked like Cain murdering another with a rock. Another seemed like an image of his defeat. There were others, but he didn't recognize any of the subjects. “We’re here. The base of SCP-087. The easiest path out of hell, if you like going up hundreds of flights of stairs. Our only other options are to sprout wings and fly up, or to do enough good to be deemed worthy of heaven.”

Grogar summoned his magic once more. The doors slowly creaked open. Grogar strained with the effort to open them. Once the doors were fully open, Grogar and Cain stepped into the dark stairwell.

One of the walls on the inside had “You have reached floor 700” written in a red liquid, presumably blood. Grogar tentatively stepped onto the first step. “Isn’t there an easier way to leave hell?” he asked Cain.

“Well, in the four thousand five hundred sixty seven years I’ve been searching for a way to leave, this is the only one I’ve found that is possible for me that doesn’t involve selling your soul to a demon."

"I'd take my chances with the demon," Grogar muttered under his breath.

"Anyways, there’s some sort of great protector here that will kill all those who enter. I haven’t met that protector, so I assume it only attacks those who enter from the top.”

Grogar and Cain continued onward. “Can I have my bell back?” Grogar asked.

“Not yet. I can't trust you yet.” Cain realized he was talking to a villain as a villain, and quickly fixed his mistake by adding, “Well, at least as much as I can trust someone who was sent down here in the first place. The deepest pits of hell are only for the worst offenders.”

“If you give me my bell, I can use whatever power is left in it to teleport us to the top,” Grogar explained. "It will save us a lot of trouble. Trust me."

Cain glanced at Grogar, before dropping the bell on Grogar’s head. “Have fun. I’m gonna go check the next floor.” Grogar stared at the bell, then attached it to himself. Grogar quickly climbed up the steps to follow Cain. When he caught up, he found Cain looking up at another message painted in blood, this time reading “You have reached floor 666. Run while you can.”

“That’s ominous,” Cain noted. Underneath the blood message was a door, locked by a broomstick. On the door, the word 'HOME' was clawed into the door. The door shook as if something was hitting it from the other side.. It shook again, this time with more ferocity. The third time, the entire stairwell seemed to shake. The pounding stopped. Grogar breathed a sigh of relief. The door burst open, revealing a hulking gray humanoid beast. The beast’s face was blank, eyes completely white. It towered over both Grogar and Cain. The beast roared. Grogar and Cain launched their best attacks at the beast, but it shrugged them off.

“Uh oh,” Grogar said, realizing he couldn't fight this monster. Grogar and Cain ran up the stairs as fast as their legs could carry them. The beast chased after them on all fours. He was the father of monsters, how could this monster be trying to kill him? The beast’s every step thundered up and down the stairwell. Blue energy trailed off Cain every step he took.

In their escape, Grogar and Cain crushed at least three people, two of which were wearing orange jumpsuits. When they finally stopped to rest, the markings on the wall were now carved into the wall instead of written with blood. It took a bit of focusing, but Grogar realized it said “You have reached floor 523”.

Cain looked back to see if the monster had caught up to them, and saw a normal humanoid, still gray, and still with those lifeless eyes. It was now about the same height as Cain, but he still wasn't willing to take chances with whatever that was. Grogar turned back as well, and upon noticing the monster, immediately bolted up the stairs. Cain followed suit, trying not to lose his ally.

Once they reached what Cain assumed to be floor 500, the markings on the wall ceased to appear. The creature that followed them was now little more than a frail old man, but the face remained the same. Grogar was feared it less, but was still unnerved, and continued up the stairs.

Several floors later, Cain noticed a club on the wall and took it for defense. Grogar was now four flights ahead of Cain. Cain eventually caught up to Grogar, who was panting heavily. They recovered their energy, then continued running up the stairs.

In a closed down college, a locked janitorial closet was tucked away in the back of the engineering hall. A locking mechanism held the door shut. Something from behind the door pounded on the door for four seconds, before stopping.

Six armed guards aimed their guns at the door. Nothing could get out. Nothing would get out. Nothing should get out.

They turned around to see the face of the thing that followed them up, but just the face. Grogar’s fear response was practically non-existent. Grogar raised his bell, sending a ringing sound throughout the area, and the face, now with a scared expression, stretched as it was pulled in.

When the face was completely gone, the Bewitching Bell faintly glowed yellow. Grogar turned to Cain and grinned. They silently climbed up the remaining steps.

The door burst open, revealing what appeared to be a shirtless manwielding a wooden club and a blue ram with a bell. The guards stood there for a moment, slightly confused, then opened fire.

Grogar summoned a magic yellow shield around himself and Cain. The bullets bounced harmlessly off of the bubble. Cain conked a guard on the head, picked up the guard, and swung him around, knocking everyone else over. Cain touched the foreheads of each and every guard, turning them into lifeless husks.

“Their life force energy isn’t enough to sustain me,” Cain said.

“Where’d you even learn to suck life force out of people?” Grogar asked.

“Eh, some human skin-bound book that I found down there. Had to beat up another guy to get it.” Grogar decided not to ask further.

Grogar and Cain exited the building as quickly as they could. Outside, it was night. The full moon shone brightly in the sky above. Constellations glittered above, though the constellation Aries was noticeably missing.

Two figures appeared to be talking in the shadow of a tree. One had a silhouette similar to that of the scout from Team Fortress 2 (Neither Grogar nor Cain were sure how they were familiar with the game), and the other was a tall man with a cowboy hat. Grogar and Cain snuck closer to listen.

“... so basically that’s when I decided that if Dark Lord wouldn’t sign off on my Legion of Doom idea, I’d do it myself. So, Backwards, ol' buddy ol' pal, you in?” The TF2 Scout doppelganger held out his hand. The other man shook his hand.

“You know I’ll stay by ya ‘till the end of days.”

“We gotta stick together like bubble gum under a school desk.”

“If that’s true, can we join?” Cain interrupted.

The two who were conversing turned to look at the ones who interrupted them. Cain brandished a gun from one of the guards, and Grogar held Cain’s club in his magic. The apparently one named Backwards studied them for a few moments, and then said, “Yep, they’re good.”

“Welcome to the gang, I guess,” said the TF2 Scout doppelganger. “The name’s Magical Douchebag. Don’t get on my bad side, since I’m more powerful than you. Probably. I haven’t actually been outside since the pandemic began.”

As the four gathered villains made their pact, a swirling black portal appeared. From the portal stepped a somewhat-humanoid demonic being with gray skin, and a face partially obscured by a black hood. The demon’s eyes were red, two horns were visible under the hood, and a classic demon tail sprouted out from his ass. Oh, and he had four arms.

“Magical Douchebag. Backwards. What do you two think you’re doing?”

“Nothing, boss,” Magical Douchebag hastily replied. "I'm totally definitely not gathering a team."

“It looks like that's what you're doing, the exact thing I told you not to do.”

“It looks like that, but Backwards and I were just talking to this fine gentleman and his goat friend.”

“I. Am. Not. A. Goat.” Grogar glared at Magical Douchebag. “I am a ram.”

“Anyway, I changed my decision, carry on,” Dark Lord said, “There’s a guy I want you to recruit. He’s been in a portion of the Endless Void since 2018, and really would like it if you released him now." Magical Douchebag looked at Backwards, who shrugged. "He’s also a dark wizard capable of manipulating shadows if that helps.”

“Aight let’s do this,” Magical Douchebag said. Dark Lord opened another black portal.

“Go on, worlds await.”

Author's Note

SCP-087 is closer to canon than it was before. Cain's ability to absorb life force is showcased here instead of when they raid the SCP Foundation Site. Grogar uses his magic more. All in all, I think it's better than iteration 1.

Origins

In a floating blue bus above the sky, Magical Douchebag and Backwards prepared to jump out of the bus down onto a building below. As the building came into view, Magical Douchebag shoved Backwards out of the plane, which sent him tumbling out as well.

The two fell for a little while, then Magical Douchebag pulled the parachute cord. Backwards also pulled the cord, except he became the parachute instead.

When they landed, Backwards and Magical Douchebag dumped their parachutes in the bushes. Magical Douchebag knocked on the door.

A man with blond hair and excessively dark sunglasses opened the door. “What the fuck there’s nothing here,” he said.

“Dude, your shades are too dark,” Magical Douchebag pointed out.

“Oh yeah,” said the other guy. He removed his sunglasses to reveal that he looked identical to Jonesy from Fortnite. “Hey, what’s up?”

“Apparently the author wants to keep the general plot of the story the same, so we’re here to infiltrate the thing.”

“Aight, lemme bring you to the kitchen.” On their way to the kitchen, Fortnite (yes that is his actual name) was quietly singing, “Ten kills on the board right now, just wiped out tomato town.” They passed a door which was sealed shut. The words on the door were slightly smudged, but Magical Douchebag made out “Phil Swift Clone #17 Handle With Care”. Seeping underneath the door was a clear sticky liquid which Magical Douchebag recognized as Flex Glue Clear, and definitely not some other sticky liquid that would require some other tag to be added. No semen here, yes sir.

They soon entered the kitchen, where an Australian man and another man that looked like Oswald Cobblepot were working. The Oswald Cobblepot lookalike washed dishes, while the Australian guy cooked meth. Ospot Cobblewald and Australian Drug Dealer continued their work in the kitchen. A vent was situated next to the sink.

“Ahem.” Ospot and Australian Drug Dealer turned their attention to Fortnite, who held a dog that wasn’t there five seconds ago at gunpoint.

“Whoever shoved a hot soup can up Edward’s is going to pay my dog!” Ospot threatened Fortnite. Ospot pulled an umbrella out of somewhere. The umbrella was black and had a blade at the tip. Ospot pointed the umbrella at Fortnite. Australian Drug Dealer poured what appeared to be cocaine into a paper airplane.

“If you don’t put that down, I’ll kill you to death until you die, every day for the rest of your life,” Magical Douchebag said, brandishing a baseball bat.

“You'll never catch me alive!” Australian Drug Dealer shouted, running out the back door. He dropped the cocaine filled paper airplane right next to the vent.

As Ospot charged, battle cry not included, ඞ the lights turned out, and everyone stopped. The sound of metal creaking was heard, as well as metal grinding on bone, and the screaming of Ospot Cobblewald. The metal object creaked again ඞ. When the lights turned back on, Ospot Cobblewald’s bottom half lay on the floor, guts not included. In the doorway behind Backwards was a man with light brown hair, green eyes, sunglasses, and a glowing golden crown floating above his head. He also for some weird reason was wearing a black and neon green winter coat.

“Excuse me but what the fuck did you just do?” asked the newcomer.

“Uh, I can explain?” Fortnite said with zero confidence.

“My office. Now. All of you.”

Loomis stared at Magical Douchebag, Backwards, and Fortnite from the other side of his desk. All four were seated in chairs, though Loomis’s chair was definitely higher quality. It was made of leather, and had red accents. Everyone else was in a metal folding chair.

On Loomis’s desk lay a pencil, a notebook, a laptop, a potted cactus, a letter from Vladimir Putin, the left eye of Grigori Rasputin, a nuclear launch button, and a picture of Arnold Schwarzenegger.

“So, mind telling me what you were doing in the kitchen with the dead body of my faithful assistant Ospot Cobblewald during a power outage?”

“Someone came through the vents,” Fortnite quickly said. “I don’t know who, but it’s probably not good.”

“Fine. I’ll investigate that. You are all dismissed.” As everyone prepared to leave, red lights and sirens went off in the entire building. The normal lights dimmed until it was almost black. Fortnite rushed out the door, followed by Backwards and Magical Douchebag. Loomis slipped out a little bit after them.

The sound of screaming echoed down the hall from the cafeteria. Fortnite equipped his gun and ran towards the sound, followed by everyone else.

When the trio arrived at the cafeteria, a dead body lay on one of the round tables. Three other people were sitting at the table, staring at the dead body, with half-eaten food on their trays. The corpse's face was planted in a pepperoni pizza.

"Excuse me, but what the fuck happened here?" Loomis asked.

"I was eating," said one of the guys unhelpfully, the one with the deformed neck.

"Ass, ass ass ass," said another one. The third one said something muffled which no one heard.

Loomis coughed to get everyone's attention. "All of you, clear out. I'm going to call each and every one of you into my office until we figure something out."

Everyone in the cafeteria quickly stuffed the last of their food into their mouths, got up, and left. When everyone was gone, Magical Douchebag turned his attention to a vent in the corner, one very similar to the one in the kitchen.

The vent creaked open, and out popped a jelly bean-shaped astronaut with a knife, at least a foot shorter than everyone else (the astronaut, not the knife).

"Hello, my friendos!" the astronaut greeted. "The name's Impostor. Coz I'm the greatest impostor, I'm an Among Us legend. Broke into the Skeld, slaughtered them like Veteran."

"You don't have to rhyme," Fortnite bluntly said.

"But I want to! Anyway, do you like what I did? Sliced a guy in half, snapped a guy's neck, I'm good, aren't I?"

"... you're hired," said Magical Douchebag.

"YES! I'm in the Legion of Doom!"

"We're gonna need to rename that, boys," Backwards said. "Don't wanna get confused with the Legion of Doom (DC Comics) or the Legion of Doom (My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic)."

"Did-did he just talk in parentheses?" Impostor pointed a disembodied hand at Backwards while looking at Fortnite and Magical Douchebag.

"Eh, we don't question it."

"I did find a dead body elsewhere, I don't know who it was. Haven't been here long enough to find out."

Cain knocked on the door to the laboratory belonging to Dr. Ovi Kintobor. The door opened to reveal a fat man clad in red with facial hair.

“Santa Claus?” Cain quietly said.

“Ho ho ho! I am not Santa you imbecile! I am Doctor Eggman, esteemed scientist and not a part time Jim Carrey impersonator.”

“Ooh. Hey, do you know anything about this blue hedgehog robot thingy majiggy I’m supposed to retrieve?”

“You must mean Metal Sonic. What do you want with him?”

“Someone told me to gather a team of villains, and he diagnosed Metal Sonic with chronic backstabbing disorder.”

“A team of villains, you say? May I join? I promise I won't backstab you for my own goals.”

Cain pondered Eggman’s request. “Maybe. I’ll check in with the other guys.” Cain tapped his new smart watch to send a message. “Anyway, the agreement between us all is that each of us recruits gets to pick a world, while everyone else gets a corner of that world.” Cain’s watch beeped. “Oh, and they said yes.”

Eggman moved to the back of the room to open a chamber. “This is where I keep him,” Eggman told Cain. “He’s a bit of a wild card.”

“We don’t have a home base yet,” Cain said. “You think you could make us one?”

“Bitch-Ass Motherfucker I have an entire fortress.”

“Eh, good enough. Welcome to the team, Egghead.”

The blue ram known as Grogar arrived at the foot of Foal Mountain, where Ponhenge once stood. Using the power that remained in the Bewitching Bell, Grogar put the rubble that used to be Ponhenge back together. He pulled a bottle of ink out of his saddlebag. He covered his hoof in ink, and drew a group of runes on the ground in the middle of Ponhenge.

He used a teensy bit of magic to charge the spell. A ball of darkness formed above the runes. Two hooves slammed out, then two wings, a head, and finally, the full glory of the Pony of Shadows. The Pony of Shadows yawned, then looked down at Grogar.

Standing fully upright, the Pony of Shadows was three times as tall as the ram who revived him.

“Grogar. How are you free? I thought you had at least another five thousand years before your escape.”

“Well, Cozy Glow’s plot weakened my prison enough for me to escape from the stars. I have to admit, Gusty’s a lot more powerful than most. She made a really strong prison, most expire after one thousand years."

"I'm guessing you need me for something, or else you would have done this yourself."

"Go to the location on the map I’ll give you, find the petrified remains of a storm creature, and bring them back here. If you have time, go to Canterlot Gardens to grab a certain statue of a centaur, changeling, and pegasus filly. I’ll head to the Well of Shade to do something else.” Grogar dug into his bags and pulled out a map, with a location marked “Canterlot Gravel Dumping Grounds”, and an X marked on the western side.

“Why exactly do I need to do this?” asked the Pony of Shadows, slightly confused.

“A wise man once said, ‘Villains must stick together like bubble gum and the bottom of school desks’ or something like that. In other words, strength in numbers.”

“And what will you be doing?”

“Resurrecting my army.”

Author's Note

There are significantly less words here, though I did cut out that little argument of the people so it's justified.

Magical Douchebag looks like TF2 Scout, Fortnite looks like Jonesy with sunglasses, Ospot Cobblewald looks like the Gotham version of the Penguin, Australian Drug Dealer looks like TF2 Sniper without the hat, but with a drop of Walter White mixed in.

More Void Creature next chapter

Shadows and Reverse

In a realm of red lightning, a man in a yellow suit stood alone, watching events unfold. Dark Lord appeared behind him.

“Reverse-Flash, I’ve come to bargain.” Dark Lord held up a wad of cash.

“I don’t need money.”

“There’s a group of villains who need your help. You are the guy that created the Legion of Doom, correct?”

“Yeah, in another time. It failed, everyone quit, they all died, including me.”

“The new Legion of Doom requires your help. My plan for them is to rewrite reality using an object you are familiar with. The Spear of Destiny.”

“What’s the catch?”

“You won’t be in charge.”

“You son of a bitch. I'm in.”

“Here, I brought you everything.” The Pony of Shadows dropped a whole bunch of rocks and a stone statue in front of Grogar. The ram pieced the fragments of the Storm King back together. As he prepared his resurrection spell, the Pony of Shadows held it in place.

Slowly, the Storm King began to transform from stone to flesh and fur. When he was fully reborn, he yawned, then looked around.

“Where am I?” he wondered. He noticed Grogar and the Pony of Shadows nearby. “Who are you two?”

“Are you fucking kidding me,” the Pony of Shadows deadpanned. “Are we literally just some fucking myths to him?”

“Oh, you’re the Pony of Shadows!” the Storm King realized. He turned to Grogar. “But who are you?”

Grogar facehoofed. “Grogar, father of monsters, Emperor of Tambelon. Ring a bell?”

“Oh yeah, I think my dad told me about you. You were taken out by wind, right?”

“I was defeated by Gusty the Great, not some wind.”

“Eh, same difference.”

As the three villains and one statue of three more villains attempted to have a comprehensible conversation, Cain portalled in from somewhere.

“Hey Grogar, Baldy McNosehair has the secret base up and running. You wanna come check it out?”

“Yes.” Grogar picked up the statue with his magic and dragged the Pony of Shadows and the Storm King along with him.

“You’re not reviving them?” the Pony of Shadows asked while being dragged.

“They failed even together. I have no need for weaklings. Not anymore.”

“What about Sombra?”

“I’ll bring him back later.”

When they arrived in the fortress, they encountered Strykore already watching TV and complaining about his defeat being televised for all to see. Doctor Eggman ate popcorn as a couple of crab robots brawled in the corner. A blue metal robot hovered in the air, apparently deactivated.

Strykore turned off the TV, moved the couch he was sitting on aside, and began texting someone named “Golden Queen”. The two Crabmeats picked up crumbs from the ground. Eggman shoved Metal Sonic to the side. The Pony of Shadows dropped the statue next to Metal Sonic, then sat down. The Storm King grumbled something about a staff before sitting down next to Strykore. Cain simply stood to the side.

Grogar dumped his ink on the floor. He painted a circle, several runes inside the circle, a perfect replica of the Van Gogh's Starry Knight, and added a heart shape in the center. Grogar’s horns lit up, and Grogar blasted his symbol with magic.

A dark portal opened above the center. A red curved horn appeared through the portal and dropped to the ground. The horn surrounded itself with shadows, and a pony formed from the darkness. When the pony fully reformed, Sombra stood among all of the villains.

“Where am I?” he asked everyone.

“Hell,” Cain joked.

“Not funny,” Grogar said. “Anyway, you’re in... where are we?”

“My fortress,” Eggman explained. “Welcome to our army.”

“What army?” Cain, Sombra, the Storm King, the Pony of Shadows, Grogar, and Strykore simultaneously asked.

“... I have a robot army stored in the basement as well as a factory for building more.”

“I was going to revive my own army, but that works.” Grogar placed the empty ink bottle back into his bag. “Wait. Can I still do that?”

“Yeah sure, do whatever, this is only my backup fortress,” Eggman said nonchalantly.

"This is only your backup fortress? Holy hell, I don't even want to know what your primary fortress looks like!"

"Cain, shut up and let me do my thing." Grogar used the remains of his previous ritual, but this time, dumped an entire McDonald’s Happy Meal into the center. Six chicken nuggets rolled in the ink. Some fries and a small bottle of chocolate milk sadly dropped onto the summoning circle.

“Isn’t that supposed to be flesh and blood?” the Pony of Shadows asked. “I mean, I’m not as familiar with dark magic as you are, but are you sure that’s going to work?”

“Ghosts have no taste buds. They can’t tell the difference.” Grogar reached back into his bags and pulled out a can of Coca-Cola and poured it onto the Happy Meal.

Another dark portal formed, and this time, several spectral creatures and a few corporeal ones appeared. They began to duplicate. Once Eggman saw how many there were, he pressed a conveniently hidden button on the wall, which caused everything, from the Happy Meal to the liches and zombies to fall through the floor.

“Keep armies in the basement!” Eggman announced. “That’s the number one rule here! The other ones are “No Living Plants”, “No Music”, and “No Pineapple Pizza”. That last one is the most important.” Everyone settled back down to where they were as the floor closed.

Fortnite, Magical Douchebag, and Backwards waited outside Loomis’s office for something. The door opened, and a teenager in a backwards baseball cap and sunglasses stepped out (wow that’s a lot of sunglasses). He was holding a phone, which clearly had TikTok installed.

“Hey, Normie. We got things to do.” Normie ignored him. Fortnite tapped on Normie’s head. “Dude, look up.”

Normie looked up from his phone. “Do you mind? I was editing my TikTok about being interrogated by a magical king who could kill me by punching me.”

“That’s not important right now. We need to figure out who’s been killing people, and isn’t a three foot tall jelly bean.”

“Well, that’s sus.” Normie returned to his phone. “Hey, you wanna play Fortnite later?”

“Dude, that’s literally my name, but we gotta do this first.” Normie nodded and put his phone away. The gang left the area as some guy with a cowboy hat, a ski mask, and a knife walked in.

As the door closed, they heard, “Yarr, betcha weren’t expecting me!” After that, they heard the sound of a body hitting the floor.

“What the fu-” Magical Douchebag said.

“Watch your fucking language, bitch!” Fortnite scolded.

They passed the cafeteria, into a hallway, where someone, the man with the deformed neck, was singing:

“My show takes flight, under fondue at night,
Flaunt pay noot rip Scooby peas,
A wring thumb tough ice inflation,
Cheez-it rooks LinkedIn machine,”

“Yo what the fuck is he doing?” Normie asked. “Is he trying to sing Let It Go without knowing the lyrics beforehand?”

“The Finnish rolling like piss whirling corgi died,
Morning teeth shark fin, seven goats have died,
Doughnut Temmie, doughnut Temmie,
See the dud whirlpool hallways half Toby,
Ordeal, won't seal, doughnut Van Gough,
Bell, toupee flow!”

“Yeah, I think that’s what he’s doing,” Magical Douchebag replied.

”Licensed snow, licensed snow,
Canned hobo black tin and s'mores,
Licensed snow, licensed snow,
Turpentine and panther gore.

Flies roast bears,
And the gears will pay,
Lip balm corgi Tom,
Thistles ever brothers and never fae,

Instant noodles and a piss bench,
Mashed potatoes in a mall,
Winter beers and ravioli,
Banned spittoon pee and ball,

A pineapple and a bucket of poo,
Protest rye gin mitts fanned make goo,
Flow bite be gone dough fools corgi,
Guy pee!,

Licensed snow, licensed snow,
Pies and thunder win a fly,
Licensed snow, licensed snow,
Ghoul Kevin reaps canned pies,
Near my fan, Bashir guy flay,
Lip balm corgi Tom,

A tower blurry through a flare the shoe dog pound,
A toe is rivaling tin cans and shack falls on the ground,
No one bought my fall pan and Mike's flan white pee ghast,
Flies Kevin Boeing pack, a fast is never past,

Licensed snow, licensed snow,
Sunrise Nike shake-up lawn,
Licensed snow, licensed snow,
Hat sure fuck curl can pawn,
Deer guy where, into night or shway,
Lip balm corgi Tom!
Thistles ever brothers and never fae.”

When Asshole finished his singing, a man in a ski mask and a suit and tie dropped down from the ceiling like a maniac. He held up his hand for Asshole. “Slap my hand. Slap it now. This is not a trick.” Asshole contemplated slapping his hand, but Spy grabbed Asshole’s hand and slapped his own with it. Spy proceeded to pull out a pencil and stab Asshole in the gut.

“Damn, he’s murder happy,” Magical Douchebag noted.

NightFlame portaled in from somewhere, talking on the phone about a group of missions. He noticed Asshole’s dead body on the floor, and Spy holding a bloody pencil. “Fuck this,” he said. He snapped his fingers, and suddenly everyone in the building was transported to the cafeteria.

“Alright, listen up!” NightFlame announced, “Loomis told me about what’s been going on here. First things first: DO NOT MURDER PEOPLE! That's against the seventh commandment! Whoever’s been killing all these people, raise your hand!” No one raised their hand. “Seriously! Ospot, Unexpected, Screaming, Asshole. They're not just dropping dead! One of you is killing them!”

Woodrow Wilson whispered to a group of soldiers. Ass and ASMR stood in shock. Loomis angrily stared at some guy that looked like him, but blond hair and blue eyes. The other guy glared back at Loomis.

“All of you are equally guilty right now!”

“Not really, Ass and ASMR were in my office when Asshole died,” Loomis said.

“Fine, they’re innocent.”

Just then, the vent in the cafeteria popped open. Impostor landed on his feet, ran his fingers across the blade of his knife, and put his knife away.

Ignoring Impostor, NightFlame continued, “I have my eyes on all of you. You won’t get away with this, even though I didn’t care about anyone who died.” As everyone prepared to leave, Impostor stabbed Ass.

“Impostor sus!” Normie called. “He killed right in front of me!” As everyone turned to Normie and Impostor, the lights flickered, then everything became covered in darkness. A deep growling sound echoed across the cafeteria, the screams of Normie were heard, and when the lights turned back on, a beast was devouring Normie.

The beast’s body was black. It was reptilian, with a wolf-like face. Spines ran down its back, and two yellow stripes covered the two sides. Its tail was lit in blue fire.

“I knew it,” NightFlame muttered. NightFlame, Loomis, Lawrence, and a few others pulled out weapons against Magical Douchebag, Backwards, Fortnite, Impostor, and the beast, as well as a few others, such as a cloaked cultist, an absurdly spiky slug, and a duck. All those who were being threatened by guns pulled out a small portal device and teleported away, save for the duck. “Guys, stop trying to shoot the duck, he's innocent.”

"Poopi," quacked the duck.

In the base, Grogar, Cain, Eggman, Strykore, the Pony of Shadows, the Storm King, and King Sombra discussed how to gain more power. Several portals opened near the ceiling, and out tumbled Magical Douchebag, Backwards, Fortnite, Impostor, Satanic Cultist, Pancake, Death Slug, Prototype, and Predator.

“Well, that’s a lot of new recruits,” Cain said. “What do we do now?”

A flash of red lightning zoomed through the room, knocking over Eggman’s LEGO set, and stopped in front of Magical Douchebag. “You change destiny.”

“And how exactly do you suppose we do that?” Backwards asked.

“There’s a little object known as the Calebros Manuscript, currently contained by the SCP Foundation because it’s relevant to the Daevites. We break into their site, cause a little chaos, and maybe do a little recruiting along the way.”

Everyone nodded, grabbed their portal devices, and prepared to leave. “Hold on,” Predator said, “I think someone needs to stay behind and guard this place just in case.”

Eggman, the Pony of Shadows, the Storm King, Strykore, Backwards, Satanic Cultist, and Death Slug opted to stay behind.

“Well, now we have our team. Let’s go.” Fortnite grabbed Metal Sonic, turned him on, and everyone portaled away.

Metal Sonic and Impostor made their way through the ventilation above someone’s office. Inside, two people were talking about something.

“Sir, SCP-087 is neutralized.”

“What? When did this happen?”

“Just five days ago sir.”

“Who the hell even noticed this thing?”

“Apparently the door was broken, someone went inside, and it was a normal staircase. At the bottom, all of the bodies from everyone there were found. Some were trampled by some sort of goat.”

“Damn, Grogar would kill that guy for calling him a goat,” Impostor quietly said. Unfortunately, the ventilation system amplified his voice, and both of the men down below heard him. The lower ranking one pulled out two pistols and aimed it up at the vents.

“Whoever’s up there, come down here or we fill the vents with poison gas!”

Metal Sonic silently grabbed Impostor and shoved him through the bottom of the vents. Impostor fell through and landed with a thud.

“Well, well, well, what do we have here?” the higher ranking one said.

Sombra and Cain covered themselves in shadow, sneaking past several security officers. They entered standard item storage. Hundreds of items were displayed in glass cases, the most notable were a glowing red and black icosahedron, an opened book with words flying off the pages, and a small robot which was banging against its case. Cain moved past all of them to head for the section in the back. He knocked over the pedestal marked “SCP-140” and grabbed the item behind it.

The moment the pedestal hit the floor, alarms blared throughout the site. Guards burst into the room to apprehend Cain, but Sombra remained camouflaged in the shadows. Sombra manipulated the shadows of the guards to merge together, then picked a rusty nail out of its case, and dropped it on the shadows.

A hand reached through the doorway behind the guards and picked up the nail. The guards resumed their actions, and opened fire on Cain.

Cain swiftly dodged all bullets, blue energy trailing off him as he did. Sombra grabbed three of the guards with his magic and tossed them to Cain. Cain grabbed two of them by the neck and stepped on the third one’s chest. The two in his hands were slowly drained of their life force until only brown, shriveled husks remained. The husks were tossed aside as the third one’s life force was sucked out through his chest.

Cain rushed down the remaining guards, sending them flying. Sombra unleashed tendrils of shadow on the guards on the floor.

“The floor tentacles are drowning me!” one of the guards screamed as he was pulled under the floor.

Four armored warriors armed with energy rifles burst into the room. Cain grabbed one by the arm, but their life force would not drain. Cain let go in shock, and one of the warriors knocked him unconscious with their rifle.

Sombra grabbed the manuscript, then slipped away to regroup with Metal Sonic.

Grogar and Predator rolled through the hallway containing several of the Foundation’s most dangerous anomalies, including their deadliest introvert, a really mean lizard, and some old dude.

Predator stopped in front of SCP-106’s containment cell. He placed his... why does a reptile have a paw? Whatever. He put it on the door, and slowly, a black circle formed on the surface. At around this time, alarms blared throughout the site. Guards rushed the hallway. Predator immediately dispatched the first wave with fire breath, but as soon as he did so, the flame on his tail vanished. Grogar attempted to blast the next wave with his magic, but the magic had no effect on them.

The guards rushed them from both sides. Predator and Grogar prepared to battle with nothing but brute force. Grogar plowed through his batch of guards, and Predator sliced one guard in half with his claws. Predator picked up the top half of the guard and tossed it on another guard.

Grogar swung his head, utilizing his horns as impact weapons. Predator bit into the leg of another guard, tearing the leg off. Predator stood up on his hind legs, wielding the leg as a weapon. He swung the leg so hard he knocked someone’s head off.

Grogar charged head first into another group of guards, but stopped as an electric spear pierced his skin. Grogar fell unconscious.

Predator noticed Grogar’s defeat and began tearing through guards faster, but only made it through another four before he was jabbed from both sides by shock sticks. The last thing he saw before going to sleep was a circular amulet with a red gemstone in the middle.

Magical Douchebag and Fortnite watched as Foundation personnel dragged the unconscious bodies of Impostor, Cain, Grogar, and Predator into four separate cells. Magical Douchebag nodded to Fortnite.

“Leeroy Jenkins!” Fortnite shouted as he charged into battle with nothing but an assault rifle. He opened fire on the Foundation personnel, but only managed to kill six D-Classes before he ran out of ammo. He attempted to shoot another man, but only received a clicking noise. Two guards handcuffed him and confiscated his rifle.

Magical Douchebag slinked away into the darkness. As he fully retreated into the shadows, King Sombra and Metal Sonic waited for him.

“They unleashed Samsara on us,” Sombra said. “I only managed to kill the basic guys.”

“Right. How do you propose we rescue our comrades?”

“Metal Sonic sent Impostor to be captured, but apparently their cover was already blown and it was a necessary action for him to escape.”

“Okay. Sombra, you retreat into the shadows for now. Call for reinforcements. Metal, you and I will turn ourselves in so we’ll know exactly who’s worth recruiting.”

Metal Sonic and Magical Douchebag exited the darkness, hands raised. When they reached the group of guards, Magical Douchebag set down his baseball bat, and Metal Sonic shut himself down. The guards shot Magical Douchebag with a tranquilizer, then tossed him onto the pile with the rest.

SCP Foundation Log [REDACTED]:

Eight anomalous entities infiltrated SCP Site-██. Seven have been captured.

Captured: Impostor, Cain, Grogar, Predator, Fortnite, Magical Douchebag, Metal Sonic

At Large: King Sombra

Items confiscated: Baseball bat, assault rifle, bell

Death Count: 30 (6 D-Class)

Author's Note

God damn this is a long chapter (looking back at it now it's only like half the length of Chessmaster). Anyway:
Following are a few chapters that are ~~torture and interrogation~~ slice of life.

Seven Seals

Grogar paced back and forth in his bare cell. It was a rectangular concrete room with no decoration. When the door finally opened, it wasn’t a D-Class with his food, but instead a scientist and two armed guards. The scientist was writing something on a notepad.

“Cross test number 1. Since we need to figure out the anomalous abilities of the new subjects, we’ll test on D-Classes. First, I want to know if the goat is sentient.”

“I am not a goat!” Grogar roared. He blasted the scientist with all his might, but the scientist came out unscathed.

“It seems his magic light blasts don’t do anything. Noted.” The scientist put away his notepad. “So, can you do anything else other than do magic light blasts?”

Grogar concentrated on the scientist’s head. The scientist coughed twice, then waited patiently. Suddenly, without warning, black smoke rose out of the scientist’s mouth. The scientist attempted to scream, but his screams were muffled by the demon. The guards raised their guns to shoot Grogar. Grogar put up a shield, blocking all of the bullets.

Grogar used his magic to disarm the guards, then shoved them out with the now-deceased scientist.

Predator stared at a blank wall as he contemplated his existence. This was only a minor setback in the grand scheme of things. He would be out of this place soon.

He watched as a man wearing the amulet he saw earlier entered the room. Predator growled.

“Hello, there, I’m Doctor Jack Bright, and I’m here to see how you can kill me.” Predator incinerated Dr. Bright with fire. Somehow, the amulet remained unscathed. Two men in orange jumpsuits retrieved the amulet. Predator pounced on one and [DATA EXPUNGED].

Dr. Bright walked into Fortnite’s cell. “Hello there Mister Fork Knife. I’m Doctor Bright, and I want you to kill me.”

Fortnite shrugged and went in for the neck snap.

“No anomalous abilities,” Dr. Bright noted in his last moments.

Dr. Bright entered Grogar’s cell with two guards. “Hey, kill me!” Dr. Bright said, announcing his presence.

Grogar opened a yellow portal to the base, sending Backwards tumbling out. Backwards rubbed his head, then was immediately apprehended by the guards.

“How are you gonna kill me?”

“Be patient,” Grogar simply said. Backwards punched himself in the dick, causing one of the guards to keel over in pain, clutching his crotch. The other guard shot Backwards, then dropped dead with a fresh wound in his skull. Backwards drew a knife from his pocket and dropped it on the floor. The knife appeared on the ceiling and stabbed the other guard in the crotch, causing him to scream.

Backwards picked the knife out of the guard’s body, then slit his own throat, killing the guard. Backwards then proceeded to stab himself while Dr. Bright stared wide-eyed and excited. Dr. Bright’s chest started bleeding. He fell over and died.

Back in the base, the Pony of Shadows and the Storm King prepared to break into the Canterlot Archives to retrieve the Staff of Sacanas. Since everyone else already had their own thing to do, they opened a portal into the center of Canterlot. The Pony of Shadows disguised both of them in the shade. They watched a wrecking ball drive past, then stealthily moved through the shadows until they reached their destination.

The Pony of Shadows transformed into a pony form, waltzed right in, and entered the Hall of MacGuffins. Replicas of the six Elements of Harmony hung on the wall, as well as a picture of Dr. Jack Bright with the caption: Wanted for stealing the supposed Seventh Element of Harmony.

The Storm King waited patiently outside, tossing rocks at passing geese. The Storm King accidentally hit Rainbow Dash with a rock. He dove into some water to hide from the enraged pegasus.

The Pony of Shadows proceeded into a room with a door in the middle of the room, seemingly not leading anywhere. He opened the door, revealing a chamber with the Staff of Sacanas hovering in the center. In the corners were several piles of rocks.

He entered the room, the door closing behind him. He looked up. On the ceiling, the words “The Staff Is Guarded By Pebbles” were written. “That doesn’t seem so bad,” he said to himself. He turned to look at the rocks.

The rocks shifted. They floated upward, forming into a beast of epic proportions. “Pebbles” roared at the Pony of Shadows, six arms waving wildly. Its two glowing yellow eyes glared into the non-existent soul of the Pony of Shadows. Rocks rained down from the ceiling, passing right through the Pony of Shadows’s intangible body. The Pony of Shadows grabbed four of Pebbles’s arms with shadows, then tossed him around the room, tearing off the four arms.

Pebbles recovered. He slammed his two remaining fists on the ground. Spires of rock rose out of the ground, surrounding the Staff of Sacanas.

The Pony of Shadows dodged another attack, then redirected the floating rocks back at Pebbles. The Pony of Shadows blasted Pebbles with the full might of shadows, shattering him into several pieces.

The pieces merged back together, becoming two separate Mini-Pebbles’. Pebbles 1 ran on the ground on all eights, causing everything to rumble. Pebbles 2, the smaller one, lobbed rocks at the Pony of Shadows at a distance. Neither did any damage to the Pony of Shadows.

A shadow vine formed from the ground. The vine shattered the spires of stone guarding the Staff of Sacanas. Pebbles 1 and Pebbles 2 danced around for a bit, then merged together, re-creating Pebbles proper. Pebbles smacked the Staff of Sacanas from out of the Pony of Shadows’s grip. The Pony of Shadows grabbed it again, and attempted to open the door. Locked.

The Pony of Shadows turned around to face Pebbles. Pebbles roared. The Pony of Shadows stopped Pebbles’s shadow. Pebbles was immobilized by the action, which allowed the Pony of Shadows to incorporate the Staff of Sacanas into his body. The Pony of Shadows melted down into shadow, and slipped underneath the door.

On the other side of the door, six guards waited for the Pony of Shadows. There were two of every pony type. Both unicorn guards fired upon the Pony of Shadows, who blasted them back with the power of shadows. The unicorns were pushed back by the shadows, sending them right into the earth pony guards. The pegasus guards flew up into the sky, as if retreating.

Pebbles burst through the door, sending door fragments flying everywhere. The Pony of Shadows put up a shield, deflecting all of the splinters down onto the floor. The guards were not so lucky.

One fragment flew at such a high velocity it disintegrated a unicorn guard upon contact. One of the earth pony guards blocked the debris with his hoof, but his entire leg was sliced off by the door handle.

The Pony of Shadows used the other earth pony guard as a shield as Pebbles blasted him with rocks. The earth pony became covered in dust, and Pebbles assumed control of the guard.

The remaining two guards assumed defensive positions. The two pegasi returned, attempting to hit the Pony of Shadows at full force, but he ducked, sending the pegasi crashing into Pebbles. Pebbles grabbed the two pegasi in two of his hands. The pegasi screamed as rocks and dust covered them, turning them into more rock ponies. The unicorn made a futile attempt to blast both beasts, but soon, rocks shot up from the ground, and brought the unicorn to Pebbles. The earth pony guard ran in fear, but hit a wall at full speed, and was knocked unconscious.

Both of the remaining guards were transformed into rock beasts. The five rock beasts turned to the Pony of Shadows. The Pony of Shadows screamed and ran away like a child.

On his way back to the Storm King, the Pony of Shadows wondered why he was running. He was the most powerful force of shadows in Equestria.

Once he arrived outside, he found the Storm King surrounded by sixteen geese and Rainbow Dash. “What did you do?” he asked.

“Nothing!” the Storm King hastily replied. The Pony of Shadows shrugged, tossed the Staff of Sacanas to the Storm King, then blasted all sixteen geese into oblivion.

Pebbles burst out of the building. The golem grabbed Rainbow Dash, and as she was in the process of being transformed, an anvil dropped out of the sky. Everyone looked upward to see Derpy.

The Storm King blasted Pebbles with lightning. All the attack did was destroy one of the golem’s fingers.

Rainbow Dash burst off towards Canterlot Castle. “We can’t let her get away!” the Pony of Shadows shouted into the face of the Storm King. “If she tells that insolent fool Twilight Sparkle, we’re fucked!”

The Storm King nodded and refocused his efforts on building a stormcloud blockade to stop Rainbow Dash.

Rainbow Dash stopped short of a massive storm cloud. Somehow, none of the citizens of Canterlot noticed the chaos that was unfolding around them. The only one who did notice that wasn’t taking part in it was Discord, who was watching from a rooftop with popcorn.

A bolt of lightning struck Rainbow Dash from the cloud. The Storm King pumped his fist. As Rainbow Dash fell, a portal opened beneath her. She fell into the portal, and then the portal disappeared.

The Pony of Shadows blocked a flurry of rocks flying at his face. He levitated the rocks and sent them flying right back at Pebbles. The Storm King returned from defeating Rainbow Dash, and they both blasted Pebbles as hard as they could.

When the dust cleared, Pebbles had a hole in his chest, but was otherwise fine.

“I don’t want to crush him into gravel,” the Storm King complained. The Pony of Shadows silently agreed.

Two construction ponies maneuvered a wrecking ball through the streets of Canterlot. The Storm King noticed the wrecking ball. He leaped onto the top of the cockpit, dropped down, shoved them out of the cockpit, and drove for Pebbles at full speed.

Pebbles roared at the oncoming threat. The Storm King laughed, then completely missed with the controls, shattering the poor unicorn rock monster. “Hold on, I got it!” The Storm King tried again, but this time shattered the pegasi. Pebbles grabbed the two earth ponies and chucked them at the Storm King.

Inside the cockpit, the two earth pony rock beasts attacked the Storm King from both sides. The first earth pony missed the Storm King, which allowed for the Storm King to shove him out of the cockpit with the Staff of Sacanas. As he turned around to fight the other one, the other one shoved the Storm King off balance, nearly sending him out of the cockpit into a cock pit, supplied by Discord.

The Storm King grabbed a rooster with his foot as he was dangling out the side, holding on with one arm. He pulled himself up and chucked the rooster at the earth pony, sending the earth pony falling out.

The Pony of Shadows unleashed his shadow tentacles as Pebbles tried to run, keeping him in place. The two earth pony rock monsters stood in front of the wrecking ball. The Storm King drove forward, crushing them. Pebbles screamed like a three year old girl as the wrecking ball came down on him.

“Success,” the Pony of Shadows said. The Storm King silently nodded, then portaled away. The Pony of Shadows followed behind him.

Magical Douchebag watched as Dr. Bright entered his cell. Dr. Bright seemed strangely happy.

“Hey, kill me!” Dr. Bright exclaimed.

“Can I have my baseball bat?” Magical Douchebag asked. Dr. Bright pulled it out from behind him and tossed it at Magical Douchebag. Magical Douchebag completely missed catching it and slipped and fell on the floor. Dr. Bright burst out laughing.

Magical Douchebag angrily grabbed his baseball bat. “Kaputus Shittus!” he shouted, aiming his bat at Dr. Bright. Dr. Bright clutched his chest, and fell over. The smell of feces wafted through the air.

Cain waited as the Foundation retrieved the one they wanted to cross-test with him. They returned with a man with metal arms and blue markings all over his body.

The two Cains pointed at each other like Spider-Man. “Who the hell are you?” asked one Cain, hereby referred to as SCP-073.

“I’m you from another universe,” the other Cain, hereby referred to as Cain, replied. “Multiverse. Get used to it.”

Dr. Bright typed on a computer and said everything he was typing, “Cain vs Cain part one. Cain may be neutralized, due to 073’s anomalous properties, however the other Cain has a special ability that may allow it to win this encounter.”

Cain covered his fist in blue fire and punched SCP-073. The moment his fist made contact, Cain was sent flying back into a wall. Cain rushed at SCP-073 and grabbed him by the neck. Blue energy flowed between them in both directions, but other than that, nothing happened. Cain focused more of his energy into absorbing SCP-073’s life force, but only obtained his own.

Cain tossed SCP-073 into the corner. When SCP-073 landed, Cain felt a sharp pain through his back. Cain vanished and reappeared above SCP-073.

Eventually, Cain managed to drain some of SCP-073’s life force. As SCP-073 slowly became a husk, literally everyone, including the narrator, wondered how Cain broke the limit.

“We’re gonna need bigger kittens,” Dr. Bright muttered.

O5-1, O5-6, and O5-10 watched the chaos on their screens. “The autopsy on Bright's Magical Douchebag body revealed that all of his internal organs turned into feces,” O5-10 said. “His blood also had the consistency of diarrhea.”

“Who approved all these cross-tests?” O5-1 asked.

“Certainly not us,” O5-6 replied. “You wanna shut it down?”

“Why not,” O5-10 said.

"All in favor say aye," O5-1 said.

"Aye," they simultaneously said. O5-10 reached for a conspicuous red button.

While everyone was just chilling wherever they were, the PA system turned on. “Attention Jack Bright,” the voice said, “no one authorized any of that shit. Stop it now.”

“You’ll never take me alive!” Dr. Bright yelled as he shook his fist in the air.

“Yes, we will. You physically cannot die.”

“Fuck, you have a point.”

Cain used the power he gained from SCP-073 and vaporized his door. Magical Douchebag used his bat to send the door to another dimension. The moment their doors disappeared, the doors holding Grogar, Fortnite, Metal Sonic, Impostor, and Magical Douchebag flew open.

“I’ll bet my second born child that someone’s gonna die tonight,” Dr. Bright muttered under his breath.

“Y-you don’t have any children,” Dr. Bright’s assistant nervously said.

“I really don’t care,” Dr. Bright replied.

Metal Sonic proceeded to speed down the hallway, unlocking every single cell. “What the fu-” O5-6 said over the PA.

A somewhat decayed lizard, a rotten gray old man, and several other creatures walked out of their now open cells. The lizard had shards of glass stuck to him.

The lizard roared. “"RUN! Fucking RUN!” shouted Dr. Bright’s assistant. Fortnite hit him in the head with a well-placed concrete toss.

"In Brightest day, in darkest night, no evil shall escape my sight, let those who worship evil's might, beware my power, Green Lantern's Bright!" Dr. Bright grinned as Fortnite aimed the rifle at his head. Fortnite pulled the trigger a little too hard, sending a flurry of bullets into Dr. Bright’s head and into the wall behind him.

Everyone regrouped. With the new recruits, they now had ten members. They looked around at the carnage. "Disgusting."

Somewhere in between several universes, Dark Lord popped into existence. Before him stood a large, somewhat humanoid red demon. He was at least the size of a small planet, maybe larger. He had a crown like tree branches, eyes all over his torso, and a toothy grin. He had no face besides his evil grin.

“Hello, Khahrahk,” Dark Lord said. The Scarlet King ignored him. “If you continue to ignore me, I will call upon my master.” The Scarlet King looked down at Dark Lord. Dark Lord floated up to eye-height to the Scarlet King. “I have someone who can bring you into the world you seek to destroy. All you need to do is declare your loyalty to the Void.”

The Scarlet King pondered Dark Lord's offer. Dark Lord waited patiently for the Crimson Khan's response. "I have heard of this Void Creature. I hold great respect for one who seeks the same goal I do. I accept."

Author's Note

Well, uh, I put Cain against Cain because I realized if I had the SCP Foundation and a guy named Cain in the same story, it wouldn’t make sense if Cain wasn’t there as well.

I realize this was also an excuse to showcase everyone’s powers. Too many paragraphs as well, this felt more like a collection of snippets and then PoS and Storm King vs a rock named Pebbles.

Update (Iteration 2.1): I see this is the arc that needs the most fixing. I cut nearly 300 unnecessary words out

Seven Rings

Grogar and Cain stood outside a door. “What were we doing in there?” Cain asked.

“We went in there?” Grogar replied.

Satanic Cultist glared at them from down the hall. Grogar turned to face Satanic Cultist.

“You were supposed to go in there and grab what was in there!” he angrily said. “GET BACK IN THERE OR I’LL CUT OFF YOUR HEAD!”

Grogar and Cain shuffled into the room. They soon returned with nothing. “What were we doing in there?” Cain asked.

“OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! GRAB THE THING IN THERE THEN PUT IT IN A BAG SO WE CAN GO!”

“What thing? I don’t even remember going in there!”

“Oh yeah... uh, I may have forgotten to mention that you can’t really remember that it exists.”

“How do you remember it exists?” Grogar asked.

“Plot convenience.”

“Fair enough.”

Satanic Cultist opened the door, procured an excessively large sack from his cloak, and entered. When he returned, the thing inside the sack was clawing at the sack and meowing.

“Is that a cat?”

“His name is Pudding,” Satanic Cultist replied. Pudding meowed again. “There’s a few other things we need before we can go.”

“I’m sure you all know what happened with the recent escape of multiple dangerous anomalies,” O5-8 began. “682 has not been located, and neither has 106.”

“But, we did recapture everything else,” O5-9 said.

“Everything else except for 058 and 2845, which are still at large,” O5-4 corrected. “Well, we know exactly where 2845 is, but 058 for some reason still hasn’t wiped Chicago off the face of the earth.”

“The fact that our reality warping deer in a completely different site managed to escape is worrying,” O5-2 said.

“Dr. Bright should not have done those cross tests,” O5-7 said. “073 was neutralized. We could have gotten a lot more information out of him. Who votes we demote Bright to D-Class?”

Everyone raised their hands. “Now, about 058,” O5-3 said, “I think we should have put a tracker on it immediately after capture.”

“There have been no deaths relating to the lizard or the old man,” O5-10 said.

“Kinda strange,” O5-12 responded.

“I agree with three,” O5-11 said.

“Somehow 055 just disappeared,” O5-4 brought up, “while we were all talking to each other. They’re on the move.”

“Do we even have a 055?" O5-5 asked.

"Yes, yes we do," O5-7 answered. "Send whoever's available from the Antimemetics division to deal with it."

"Do we even have an Antimemetics division?" O5-2 asked.

"I fucking founded the Antimemetics division," O5-7 said.

“The GOC just told me that they’re dealing with the deer,” O5-6 said.

“Guys, shut up and let’s demote Bright to D-Class,” O5-1 said, ending the conversation.

“Attention Doctor Jack Bright! You have been demoted to D-Class!"

Dr. Bright pranced around the room dressed as Kim Jong-Un, drawing stares from his colleagues. The golden retriever known as Dr. Kain Pathos Crow stared for a little while, then barked.

“Hello fellow SCP Foundation researchers!” Dr. Bright dressed as Kim Jong-Un announced, “I have gathered you here so I can create the avengers!”

“Isn’t there something against that?” asked Dr. Kondraki.

“Nope,” Dr. Gears replied without even looking up from the paper he was reading.

“You shall be my first recruits!” Dr. Bright pointed at Dr. Clef, Dr. Gears, Dr. Kondraki, and Kain Pathos Crow. “We shall also recruit our anomalous humanoids!”

“I feel like I’m losing brain cells every second,” Dr. Clef muttered.

“What do you think you’re doing?” O5-2 said over the PA. “A few more things you’re not allowed to do: commit suicide by SCP, create the Avengers, literally anything that your fellow researchers would not do, save for maybe Clef.”

“That’s rude,” Dr. Clef said.

“Shut up and accept it,” O5-8 said.

Dr. Bright held up a list.

To recruit:

Dr. Clef (this is easy, chainsaw cannons)

Dr. Kondraki (give him the chance to ride that lizard thing and he shall ride into battle)

Dr. Gears (idk I give up)

Kain Pathos Crow (doggy toys may help)

SCP-049 (medic)

SCP-105 (something I forgot why)

SCP-343 (he’s literally God)

SCP-999 (moral support)

SCP-2800 (CACTUS MAN TO THE RESCUE!)

SCP-2273 (russian armored soldier dude)

SCP-082 (idk just entertain him, he’s the muscle)

SCP-5031 (he’s the chef, don’t ask)

SCP-5151 (fighter)

SCP-1233 (wild card)

SCP-5514 (big guy)

SCP-4494 (JUSTICE)

SCP-076-2 (he can get revenge for his brother’s death or something idk I might be high)

SCP-420-J (idk man, just bring it along, dude)

Dr. Niles Hessen (she shall bring the force of whatever the hell that eldritch abomination is supposed to be)

SCP-729-J (the spawn of satan shall help us in these trying times)

“... how many drugs were you on?” Kain Pathos Crow asked telepathically.

“Yes,” Dr. Bright responded unhelpfully as he usually did.

“Well, let’s get this party started!” Dr. Clef pulled a chainsaw cannon out of nowhere and shot it into the ceiling, which brought a sizable chunk of the ceiling crashing down on them, fortunately missing all of them. Somehow. I don’t know, I’m just the narrator.

Dr. Clef entered SCP-049’s chamber, where the Plague Doctor was doing surgery on a deceased gorilla on a metal table. A teddy bear which had a patch of a human heart sat between the gorilla’s feet. The Plague Doctor made an incision somewhere and then did some other stuff idk man I’m not a surgeon.

The gorilla came to life. SCP-049 turned around and noticed Dr. Clef. “Hello, what can I assist you with?”

“Well, we’re about to fight that lizard thing you say is full of pestilence, and we could use the backup.”

“Say no more.” SCP-049 packed up all of its medical supplies into a small bag. A tiny version of SCP-049 popped out from underneath the operating table. SCP-049-J jumped into the bag and zipped it from the inside. SCP-049 picked up the teddy bear, and the gang walked out, deceased gorilla included.

An orange blob of goo carried a handbell next to two adorable eye pods. Dr. Clef followed behind with a chainsaw cannon in both hands. Dr. Gears held a small handgun. SCP-049 and SCP-049-J walked on both sides of Dr. Gears, with 049-J standing on Dr. Bright’s shoulder. An abnormally large man roughly 8 feet tall walked behind the group, holding a giant club. A humanoid fire creature and a humanoid water creature followed side by side.

On the other side of the hallway, a humanoid cactus man and a floating butcher knife walked alongside two seemingly normal humans. A bearded man in a white robe walked in front of them. Kain Pathos Crow padded along in behind them, followed by Dr. Niles Hessen holding a yellow rabbit toy. Everyone in front of Dr. Hessen was sweating and visibly scared.

“Good, everyone’s here. Now, the last thing to do is for Dr. Hessen to put that thing back where it came from or so help me!” Dr. Bright held up a wooden cross.

Dr. Hessen placed the rabbit toy into her purse.

“Anyway, uh, Stabby McGee refused to come along and said something along the lines of good riddance.”

“What are we even doing?” Dr. Clef asked.

“No clue.”

“Fair point.”

“Warning: SCP-029 has breached containment. I repeat, SCP-029 has breached containment.”

“Alright, first mission I guess!”

Satanic Cultist dropped his sack into a portal which conveniently opened for him. The gang continued onward to another point, in front of SCP-029’s containment chamber. They stood there for a full minute before Grogar asked, “The heck are we doing just standing here?”

Satanic Cultist held up a single finger. After a moment, Strykore popped out of the ceiling.

“So Sombra sent more than just you. Thank- uh... I don’t know,” Cain said.

“Oh yeah, God hates you,” Grogar noted.

“He doesn’t hate anybody, or so he says.”

Strykore placed his hands on the door, dark magic channeling through them. “I could have done that,” Grogar complained.

The door shattered into a million pieces. Behind that door was another door. Strykore repeated the process. Behind that door was yet another door.

When they finally broke through, they saw a female, almost completely black, cowering on the floor, floodlights shining on her. Strykore blasted one of the floodlights, sending it crashing to the floor.

Grogar did the same to the other, sending the room into almost complete darkness. Only the light from Grogar’s horns did anything to light up the room.

The female laughed. The lights turned back on, but not the floodlights. Magical Douchebag restrained her in a magical aura.

“How did you know I was going to kill them?” the Daughter of Shadows asked.

“I read ahead in the script,” Magical Douchebag replied.

“How?”

“Plot armor.”

“That- that doesn’t make sense.”

“Where’s the fun in making sense?” The moment Magical Douchebag finished that sentence, a very familiar draconequus popped into the room.

“Ooh, someone quoting me. Tell me, where do you draw the line for what counts as tea?”

“Crude oil is tea,” Magical Douchebag replied.

“That’s where you draw the line?” Magical Douchebag nodded. “Thanks for your opinion!” Discord snapped his “fingers” and disappeared.

Magical Douchebag focused magical energy into his baseball bat, teleporting SCP-029 to the base.

“We have dominion, lack, and hope left,” Satanic Cultist said. Everyone turned around as Dr. Bright and Dr. Clef wielding chainsaw cannons busted into the room even though the doors were already destroyed.

“Freeze, peasants!” they shouted simultaneously. Cain held up his fist, which lit up in blue fire. He charged at them, but missed and crashed into the wall in the hallway.

When he recovered, he was surrounded by a well-dressed butler, a blob of orange goo, a golden retriever in a lab coat, and a plague doctor. The tickle monster smiled adorably and held a cookie aggressively at Cain. “Eat the cookie or I fill your internal organs with C4 and detonate you in the middle of the Kremlin,” it said telepathically.

Meanwhile, Dr. Clef and Dr. Bright shot chainsaws at the gang. Magical Douchebag attempted to deflect every chainsaw, which only resulted in his baseball bat being sliced in half. The two doctors continued to open fire until they ran out of chainsaws, which then they noticed that everyone was long gone, and the entire room was just chainsaws, rubble, and chainsaw rubble.

Dark Lord and the Scarlet King watched seven chains hanging on a door. They were tethered to a large lock in the center, keeping the door closed. Five of the seven chains snapped. The remaining chains glowed red.

“Once they are all brought together, I shall be released into the world!” The Scarlet King turned to Dark Lord. “You were right. Your cultist is most impressive. Five out of seven."

"Not all of them are agreed to be your seven children," Dark Lord pointed out.

"Bold of you to assume I only had seven. I have seven generations of seven children." As they spoke, a bovine heart with four spiky insect legs and tentacles covered in spines crawled up the door. Dark Lord waved his hand, and the Heart of Darkness teleported to the base.

"Well, now that five of your children are in one place, mind telling me who the rest are?"

"There's an easy way to do this, and a fun way."

"The fun way."

They gather round the natal bed
The foolish and the wise
They fear the child yet to be born
Whose voice shall rend the skies

The faithful watch the forest
For the coming of the King
Their lanterns bright, they wait at night
For the new world he shall bring

When the first had given birth
Then all the birds did sing
Her screaming cries did shake the skies
As she called out for her King

By doctor's blade the second bade
A life into the world
Untimely hewn neath a silent moon
The King's red flag unfurled

His bride the third remained unheard
Her cries for help ignored
She stopped her life with a surgeon's knife
And gave it to Our Lord

The fourth prepares a dagger
And places it at her heart
The perfect cure cannot make pure
What the King has set apart

The fifth one's crown was bearing down
Upon the fox's set
The den was sundered with mighty thunder
An apocalypse beget

On the sixth's day, the walls gave way
And the oceans turned to ash
Her birth gave work, as the earth shook
Underneath the King's fell lash

The seventh bride will break the tides
The moon no more will shine
There comes a day not far away
She'll birth the death of time

Author's Note

So apparently my friend told me to stop adding characters to this story and it's only like chapter 5 and it's hit 25-ish characters. On one side. That's saying nothing about Dr. Bright's "SCP Avengers" which probably goes against the list of things he's not allowed to do. Especially since he's interacting with Dr. Clef without a responsible administrator. Unless Gears counts, in which case toss that sentence out the window.

Seven Thrones

The first and the seventh are the only ones who remain
When the seals are broken, he shall destroy the ones who contain
When the last is left, the endless worlds shall be slain
And all their efforts shall be made in vain

The world grows dark, the void consumes
The Crimson Khan shall send them to their tombs
In a world where good stands tall
The darkness shall conquer it all

The seventh child, hopeful and pure
Dangers, betrayals, and more he shall endure
As the Old Man wanders, so shall the zombies rise
And when day breaks, they shall cause their own demise

“The Children of the Scarlet King are becoming more active than before.”

“A new group of interest has appeared. They seem to be intermingling with the Children of the Scarlet King. Something about a Void Monarch.” One of the O5s placed down everything he knew about the group.

“They’re coming together to break the seals and bring the Scarlet King into our world.”

“How do you know that?”

“A special power only few have. Plot convenience.”

“Too many people have that power. It's getting out of hand.”

“Was it ever in anyone’s hand though?”

“Let’s not waste any more time and stop them from merging with any other group.”

“Who votes we call in the GOC for this?” Only six of the thirteen held up their hands. “Horizon Initiative?” Two of them put down their hands. “Literally anyone else that can help us?” Everyone else put down their hands. “Global Occult Coalition it is.”

“Did you not see seven of us disagreeing?”

“I don’t care, if the Scarlet King is coming, we need to be ready. We can’t combat him alone.”

“Person of Interest 69 is on the move. How do we proceed?”

“Observe his actions. If he does anything suspicious, move in to capture him. Maybe Bright’s little unauthorized team can do that part.”

“Meeting adjourned.”

NightFlame and Loomis trudged down the sewer. Loomis held a spear in one hand. NightFlame held a tablet with a map and a blinking light. Rats scurried throughout the area. Green water flowed through the area.

“What are we doing here again?” Loomis asked. A couple of rats tried to grab the spear, but Loomis turned the spear around and stabbed them.

“We’re giving the spear you’re holding to PBD.”

“Who’s PBD?”

“You’ll find out.” NightFlame held up his tablet. The blinking light was closer to their location. “Just a little bit farther. We’re almost there.”

They continued for all of ten seconds before NightFlame stopped in front of a rusty ladder. He put the tablet away in an unspecified place, probably not in reality. He climbed up the ladder and pushed away the cover. Loomis followed behind.

“This is a terrible place for a king to be,” Loomis muttered to himself. He pulled himself completely out of the sewer. Loomis looked around to see a large church, at least sixteen times taller than he was. The entire building seemed off somehow. Maybe it was the star on the steeple or the pink covering the entire building. “Hold on, are we meeting Kirby?”

“Does the Pope shit in the woods?”

“Uhh... no?”

“That was a rhetorical question.” NightFlame climbed the steps into the cathedral. He pushed the door open. The two entered.

The interior was even larger than the outside suggested. Sixteen rows of pews lined the floor. The ceiling seemed to be infinitely high. At the end, a short cloaked figure in a silly hat stood, staring out the window. “Welcome,” the figure said.

“Greetings, oh great Pope,” NightFlame said, “We have something for you.” NightFlame nodded to Loomis. Loomis walked all the way to the Pope. It took him a solid three minutes, probably because he stopped to clean the rat blood off the spear. He set the spear down behind the Pope.

“Thank you.” A nub reached out from under the cloak to pick up the spear. “This will do just fine.”

“Well, looks like we’re done here,” NightFlame said. He backed out of the building without looking back. Loomis slowly made his way back to the doors.

Outside, NightFlame was surrounded by at least five people. One held a yellow rabbit plush towards NightFlame. Whenever the plush got closer, NightFlame moved backwards.

“What was that spear and who did you give it to?” one of them asked. That one had a silver amulet with a glowing red gem.

“Nothing you’d be interested in.”

“Tell us or the Spawn of Satan eats your soul.” The rabbit plush got closer. Loomis could feel darkness radiating off of the definitely not harmless plush.

“Get that thing out of my face! Fine! I’ll tell you!” The person holding the rabbit put the devil himself plush away. The moment it was hidden from sight, NightFlame kicked the guy with the amulet in the chin. As the man was recovering, the four other people chased after him. Loomis raced towards NightFlame. As they were running, the church faded.

One of them pulled out a comically large weapon and fired a chainsaw. NightFlame turned around, and while running backwards, caught the chainsaw.

NightFlame dove into an alleyway, with Loomis following close behind. The four who chased them turned into the alley. NightFlame knocked on the wall, which opened up to reveal a man with a monocle and top hat.

“Password?” the man asked.

“Aaabaaajss,” NightFlame answered. The man stepped aside and NightFlame and Loomis entered. The four pursuers caught up, but the man blocked them. One of them pulled out a butterfly knife.

“Who was that?” Loomis asked once they were safely in the back room.

“Have you heard of the multiverse?”

“I think so?”

“That Pope was from a universe where the Catholic Church was born on Planet Pop Star.”

“What.”

"It spread to The Neighborhood, where it became the official religion. Anyway I’m gonna recruit Dr. Bright.”

“Wait what.”

“You heard me.” NightFlame left the back room, passed several broken down pinball machines and a slot machine, the bartender who happened to be drinking coffee, a portrait of Joseph Stalin, and Australian Drug Dealer giving some guy some white powder.

He soon reached the door where the man, British, was somehow still fending off four- no, five people. “You can let them in now,” NightFlame commanded. British stopped trying to shove them out of the doorway. Dr. Bright, Dr. Clef, Dr. Kondraki, Dr. Gerald, and Dr. Hessen walked into the building. When they were all in, the door vanished.

“Welcome to my pocket dimension,” NightFlame said. “Very few ever get the honor of coming here. It’s a neat little place where I meet with powerful figures from across existence. However, your O5 Council still hasn’t found their way here, so for now, you five will have to do.” Almost instantly, a slightly overweight caucasian male teleported into the room.

“Hello, 507,” NightFlame greeted. “Caffeine Addict, give this man his usual!”

“Man, I did not expect to end up here,” Steve, also known as 507, said.

“Sit tight, I’ll grab a few others.” NightFlame walked off into the back room where Loomis was waiting. A few moments later, the rest of the gang teleported into the room. NightFlame returned with Loomis.

“Alright, I’ll cut to the chase,” NightFlame said. “The gang of villains currently designated the Legion of Doom due to lack of a better name is almost ready to release the Scarlet King into this world. I propose we work together to stop this. Not because I want to, but because if your world falls, many more will follow.”

Grogar and Satanic Cultist silently tried to make their way to the final two children. Everything else was already in the base. Satanic Cultist held a list in one hand.

“Remember, I’m gonna need your help to pull this one off,” Satanic Cultist said.

“Right, you need seven wielders of dark magic.” Grogar stared into his bell. There was still plenty of magic left for the ritual.

“Actually I feel like I can do it with less.” Satanic Cultist looked at the list.

“Cutting corners is never a good idea.” Grogar remembered the last time he cut corners.

“But I really don’t give a fuck." Satanic Cultist turned a corner, and Grogar followed. “Giving fucks is meant for idiots.”

“I feel like if we cut corners we’re all gonna die,” Grogar told Satanic Cultist. “Last time I cut corners, I regretted it so much that the author had to tell it twice.”

They proceeded to a perfectly normal containment chamber. Inside the room, there was a white porcelain comedy mask, secreting black sludge. It was locked inside a glass case on top of a pedestal. The mask seemed to be laughing at something, though Grogar couldn’t figure out what.

“Hello there, old friend,” the mask laughed.

“Do I know you?” Grogar asked.

“Of course not! You wouldn’t recognize me if I bit you in the face! Now why don’t you remove this case and put me on?”

Grogar reached his hoof towards the glass case, pulling it away at the last second. “No. You will come with me.” He used his magic to rip the pedestal out of the ground.

“Hey, wait! Put me down!” the mask pleaded. At this point it had transformed into a tragedy mask. Grogar ignored the mask’s pleas for help.

The moment he was safely outside, Satanic Cultist crossed something off of his list. Grogar peeked at the list.

Dominion

Longing

Desolation

Wrath

Lack

Hidden

Hope (optional)

Gather them in one place (the base)

Ritual I came up with in ten seconds after being given orders from Dark Lord (seven magic wielders required)

Victory

“Hope seems a little bit too good for a child of whatever this Vermillion Monarch or whatever,” Grogar said.

“Scarlet King,” Satanic Cultist corrected. “Crimson Khan is acceptable as well. Sometimes we call him the Red Ruler for fun.” Satanic Cultist opened a portal back to the base with a potato-shaped device. They entered through the portal and appeared in their home base.

“And why are we releasing this guy?” Grogar asked once the portal closed.

“It will serve as a distraction so we can obtain the Spear of Destiny from wherever it is currently located.” They entered a back room with no lighting. Satanic Cultist pulled a matchbox out of his cloak. He removed a single match, struck it, then proceeded to light several candles which were obscured by darkness.

Once every candle was lit, the light revealed a regular heptagon with a seven pointed star. Standing around the heptagon at each point of the star were SCP-029, SCP-682, SCP-106, and SCP-055. Grogar placed the pedestal down between SCP-029 and a blank space. There was a second blank space between the Daughter of Shadows and the Reptile.

A swirling black portal opened above one of the two blank spaces. A bovine heart with several spiny protrusions dropped down from the portal onto the blank space. When the Heart of Darkness landed, the portal closed.

“Remember, everything here is purely symbolic,” Satanic Cultist said. “I probably could pull this off if all of you were in chains and arranged like an upside-down goose migration. Hell, I could even do this with your corpses.”

A sphere of pure darkness manifested in the doorway behind Grogar. The Pony of Shadows and the Storm King appeared through the portal. Cain stepped through the doorway from who the fuck knows where, and Sombra manifested himself from the dark portal the Pony of Shadows created.

Everyone took their places, though they were missing one sorcerer and one child. Sombra, Grogar, the Storm King, the Pony of Shadows, Satanic Cultist, and Cain all channeled their energy into the circle.

The ground slightly cracked. An error pop-up message appeared in the air. A deep voice said, “You are missing the seventh.”

Dimensional rifts opened. Everyone attempted to use their spare power to close the rifts. “I told you cutting corners was a bad idea!” Grogar yelled over the noise.

“But I thought that the fact that the ritual was made up in ten seconds without any thought would work!” Satanic Cultist shouted back.

Strykore walked past eating Doritos™. As he passed the door, he glanced into the room. He stared for a few moments then popped another chip into his mouth.

“Strykore! Grab the orange blob of goo from the location I am telepathically sending to you for plot convenience!” Satanic Cultist screamed as golden chains appeared, binding the rifts together. Blue flames licked the chains, but only strengthened them.

Strykore popped more chips into his mouth, nodded, then left in the other direction.

One chain remained to hold the lock. The Scarlet King touched the last chain. It glowed brightly. The Scarlet King pulled his hand away in pain.

“You know that you can’t break the last chain,” Dark Lord said from behind the Crimson Khan.

“I do not care. I will break it.” The Scarlet King blasted the last chain with much of his power. The chain refused to budge.

“Just be patient. Everything will come together eventually. They may be incompetent fools, but they will finish the job.”

“What if I do not believe you?”

“If this doesn’t happen, feel free to destroy my homeworld.”

“I will hold you to that promise, knave."

"Oh, I'm counting on it."

They forget the hallowed words upon the Death of Time
May they share the fate of those who deny me to what’s mine
They forget the howling chains that bind me safe away
One of many old chanyus forgotten in this way

They forget the steel swords they used to cast me down
They shall not forget again before my flaming crown
They forget the seven brides that wait for my return
Such loveliness is lost upon the children of the urns

They forget the seals that are used to keep me still
Only one remembers and is not bent to my will
Seven seals, seven sons, six reclaimed, one shall be mine
And ere the end of all your days the Crimson Khan shall ride

Author's Note

The original early scenes of Holy Ground have already been covered by Shadows and Reverse and everything here, but I think I can still pull off the [REDACTED]

Anyway there's way too many characters, expect some to leave or die

The poems are based on poems that exist within SCP-3838 and SCP-231. Chapter names for this arc are based on SCP-2317. The opening poem for this chapter is entirely written by me

For the Scarlet King

As the last bastion hides, the armies ride,
The Crimson Khan’s return shall change the tides,
The Gods of Destruction bow to their king,
And great desolation they shall bring.

The final fight draws closer still,
The heroes fight against my will,
The Scarlet King’s hordes shall bring victory,
And by my red hand, they will die. Rupee. (excuse me what?) (I ran out of rhyming words)

Strykore wandered through a nearly empty place. A couple of cobweb-covered arcade cabinets lined the walls. He saw Pac-Man, Tic-Tac Eater, Space Invader, Time Conquerors, Donkey Kong, Mule King, Pong, Ping, and several more classics and rip-offs.

He passed a bar where six cans of Beijing Corn™ sat next to three cans of Shanghai Corn. He could practically feel the tension between the cans of corn.

He could faintly hear the sound of Megalovania in the back room. He passed a tiny replica of Hiroshima after the bomb, which he swore was just a pile of dirt and a collection of sticks. It wasn’t even close to accurate. The only way he could tell what it was was because of the sign that said “A Nuked City”. Granted, it could be Nagasaki.

He continued into a small hallway. It was surprisingly similar to the layout of Eggman’s base. Through a doorway, he saw Dr. Bright absolutely failing to fight Sans. As the red heart broke, Strykore quietly chuckled.

An orange blob of goo slid across the floor to comfort Dr. Bright. The moment SCP-999 crossed Strykore’s path, he trapped it in a red and black cage. Silently. No one noticed. He picked up the goo and tried to leave, but was blocked by NightFlame.

“You think you can just leave?”

“That's exactly what I'm doing.” Strykore attempted to move past NightFlame, but the smaller and younger NightFlame effortlessly swept the leg, sending Strykore to the ground and sending the cage across the floor.

“I’m gonna need everything you’ve gathered.” NightFlame placed his foot on Strykore’s chest.

“No.” Strykore summoned red and black ropes to restrain NightFlame. He slithered out from underneath NightFlame’s foot. Strykore picked up the cage from the floor.

As he tried to leave, The six cans of Beijing Corn and three cans of Shanghai Corn flew at him. A can of Beijing Corn and a can of Shanghai Corn collided in front of his face, causing an explosion that sent him flying backwards without the cage holding SCP-999. The ropes holding NightFlame vanished. He walked past the injured Strykore and grabbed SCP-999.

“Never mess with the corn,” NightFlame said, holding a can of Beijing Corn.

“Are you copying Steven He?”

“No.”

A man in a ski mask and a suit dropped down from the ceiling. He held his hand up near Strykore. “Slap my hand. Slap it now. Trust me, this is not a trick.”

Strykore moved his hand up to slap Spy’s hand, but before their hands even touched, Spy pulled a gun on Strykore.

“This was a trick.” Spy inched the gun closer to Strykore, touching it to his chin.

“You said to trust you.” Strykore grabbed Spy’s wrist.

“I am the least trustworthy person on the planet.” Spy pulled a knife out with his other hand, holding it to Strykore’s hand. Spy and Strykore fought for the gun and the knife, ending with both in Spy’s hands, but with Strykore’s hands lit up in magic. “This building isn't big enough for the both of us.”

“Why not build it bigger next time?” Strykore asked, foot to an arcade cabinet.

“The architect said as long as I didn’t introduce fifty characters in one story it would be fine,” NightFlame explained, holding SCP-999.

Spy backed up until he was standing side-by-side with NightFlame. Strykore held his two hands up, pointing them at both of his opponents.

A yellow blur surrounded by red lightning rushed through the room, stripping Spy down to his underwear, stealing his knife and gun, and taking SCP-999’s magical cage.

“What just happened?” Spy asked, standing with nothing but a pencil, a ski mask, and a pair of heart-print boxers.

“I am more confused than a homeless man under house arrest,” NightFlame said, not expression his confusion at all.

Reverse-Flash stood in the corner, holding a stabbed gun in one hand and a magical cage in the other. The hand holding the cage started sizzling. He dropped it onto the floor.

“Huh, wonder why that didn’t affect me,” NightFlame wondered, while wearing a full suit of plot armor. Reverse-Flash bent down to pick up the cage, but before his hand could make contact, a rainbow blur knocked him into a wall.

“Woah, I need to rewind that and play it in slow motion.” NightFlame pulled out a device with several small buttons and one big red button. He pressed the big red one, rewinding time.

Rainbow Dash flew into the arcade room from the hallway. Reverse-Flash bent down to pick up the cage. As the pegasus neared, Reverse-Flash turned to look at the approaching Rainbow Dash. He held up his hands to block the attack. Rainbow Dash whaled on him with a series of hoof strikes, each one blocked by Reverse-Flash. The yellow speedster tried again to pick up the cage, but as he did so, Rainbow Dash headbutted him. Reverse-Flash kicked Rainbow Dash off of him, sending her flying back into the hallway. However, this had the unintended effect of sending him into a wall.

“Well, that was interesting.” NightFlame put the device away.

“I almost lost to a pastel pony,” Reverse-Flash noted.

“Have fun thinking about that every night for the rest of your life.” NightFlame pulled a banana on Reverse-Flash, mushing the thing into the speedster’s stomach. “Whoops, that was supposed to be a knife.”

“Why did you have an unpeeled banana in your pocket?” Strykore asked.

“No clue. Anyway, bring the guy back when you’re done. Put everything back as well.” NightFlame turned around and walked away. Once he was gone, Spy desperately searched for a pair of pants.

Strykore and Reverse-Flash looked at each other for a moment. Reverse-Flash shrugged, then ran away with the gun, the knife, and Spy’s clothes.

Strykore walked over to pick up the cage. He opened a portal to leave. "Not so fast!" a voice from down the hall shouted. He was hit by a rainbow blur. They both fell into the portal.

Grogar, Cain, Satanic Cultist, the Pony of Shadows, the Storm King, and Magical Douchebag tried with all their might to keep reality in that room stable enough so that they could do things. The gathered SCP objects tried their best to help out. When they closed one rift, another one opened.

A portal opened behind SCP-682. Out tumbled Strykore, holding a red and black magical cage containing SCP-999. Rainbow Dash followed behind. Rainbow Dash hit Strykore in the face with her face. Strykore pushed the cage towards the last open spot. It slid across the floor, slowing down as it reached the center. With a little push from spare magic, the cage made it all the way.

The emotionless orange blob of goo seemed frightened. Strykore shoved Rainbow Dash off of himself and into the hallway. Reverse-Flash rushed behind and caught Rainbow Dash. The pegasus struggled and kicked as the yellow speedster restrained her.

Strykore took his place as the seventh magic wielder. He poured his own magic into the ritual, causing the symbols drawn on the ground to glow red. Energy poured out from all seven children.

“Wait a second, shouldn’t we be doing this in the SCP universe?” Cain wondered aloud.

“Oh shit, good point,” Satanic Cultist replied as the hand of the Scarlet King broke through the floor. All the rifts closed. A second hand soon joined the first. Soon, the Scarlet King rose in all of his eldritch glory.

As he looked around, he noticed something wrong. “I’m in the wrong universe,” he noted.

“Yeah, sorry about that,” Satanic Cultist apologized. “I couldn’t rent a hotel room to do this in the universe you were supposed to be in.”

“You were planning to do this in a hotel?” Grogar slammed his hoof on the floor, which sent a floorboard flying into the ceiling, embedding itself next to a toothbrush.

“Due to the sheer amount of times you nincompoops have portalled between this universe and the one I seek to destroy, I can easily head there myself.”

“Well, would you look at that,” Satanic Cultist said, “looks like cutting corners actually worked!”

‘We nearly died,” Grogar pointed out.

“But we didn’t,” Satanic Cultist replied. Without anyone noticing, the Scarlet King vanished from the base and entered the SCP Universe.

“So what do we do about her?” Reverse-Flash asked, pointing to Rainbow Dash with his right foot. Grogar noticed a small metallic object nestled inside her ear. A bright light emitted from the object.

“There’s probably gonna be some sort of rescue operation. She doesn’t know where we are anyway.” Cain moved to inspect the metal object in her ear. “Probably should destroy this though.” He carefully fished it out while the pegasus tried to kick him. He held it in his hand, inspecting it. He then crushed it, sending metal scraps and circuits everywhere.

“Someone needs to clean that up,” said the Pony of Shadows. A small pure black slug inched its way into the room. It seemed to eat the metal scraps and circuits. “Oh, Death Slug’s on it.”

As they all contemplated what to do next, an explosion rocked the base. “I thought this was underground!” the Storm King screamed as he was tossed around.

“This is the United Nations Global Occult Coalition! Surrender now or face the consequences!” Grogar teleported everyone outside to the top of the base.

“Did Eggman seriously build a giant tower and expect no one to investigate?” Cain said.

They looked down to see a few thousand armed soldiers and a guy with a megaphone standing on top of a jeep.

“This is exactly what we have an army for,” Grogar said. Magic surrounded his horns as an army of wraiths and other apparitions rushed from the base out towards the Global Occult Coalition. However, the Coalition came prepared and slaughtered the undead.

“You were saying?” Cain mocked. After the apparitions came an army of robots marching out single file. A well placed rocket blew up the entire legion of robots, but they kept on coming.

“Hey, I know what we can do!” Satanic Cultist exclaimed. “Grogar, there’s an alternate version of you that utilized these bipedal pig creatures called ‘Troggles’. Do you think you can summon some?”

“I used to have troggles,” Grogar replied. “This will be a piece of cake.” Grogar used magic once more to create a portal on the ground. Ten bipedal pig creatures with large ears rose out of the portal.

“Meet my minions, John, Fred, Jeremy, Styx, Phillip, Billy, Karl, Joey, Bob, and Yamcha Jr.” Grogar gestured to each one as he said their names. John had a gun, Fred wore a trench coat and sported a pipe, Jeremy held an axe, Styx wielded an iron blade, Phillip had a knife, Billy had a club, Karl wielded a pair of scissors, Joey held a boomerang, Bob had a bazooka, and Yamcha Jr. had no equipment. “I actually revived several troggle foot soldiers a while back. I think Eggman was turning them into cyborgs.”

“When did you have time to do that?” Cain asked. “I’m pretty sure you were busy doing stuff.”

“Between chapters,” Grogar answered, as if he actually had time do do things between chapters.

As the last of the robots were blown up by the Global Occult Coalition, semi-robotic troggles rushed out to meet them. Bullets bounced off their skin. They all wielded a variety of weapons, some of which matched the weapons wielded by Grogar’s minions. The GOC soldiers shot at the Cyber-Troggles. The Cyber-Troggles easily defeated the GOC soldiers and smashed the jeep.

“So, now what?” the Pony of Shadows wondered. The GOC held their ground, still losing soldiers by the hundreds.

“I say we go straight for wherever the Spear thingy is,” Reverse-Flash suggested. “We bring a strike team of myself as leader, Grogar as magical support, Cain as other support, and Metal Sonic in case things go south.” The last group of GOC soldiers shot a rocket at some approaching Cyber-Troggles, but some sort of force field deflected it back on the soldiers, decimating what remained.

“We have no idea where it is,” Cain pointed out.

“The egg doctor guy can build us something to track it,” Reverse-Flash said. In a flash of red lightning, those who were chosen to retrieve the Spear of Destiny were whisked away. The Pony of Shadows teleported away to grab popcorn.

“Ahh, relaxation,” the Storm King said as explosions covered the battlefield. Bombers flew overhead, dropping all kinds of bombs. “This brings me back to the days I invaded Canterlot.”

The Pony of Shadows returned with several popcorn buckets. He gave each viewer a popcorn bucket. “You know the rules and so do I, sit back, relax, and say goodbye.”

NightFlame entered the back room as Dr. Bright continued his battle against Sans. It seemed during the chaos outside, he finally managed to get Sans to the point where he was tired. Soon, Sans had been defeated.

“Hey, bad news,” NightFlame said, interrupting Flowey killing Asgore. “They got away and they’re headed straight for your home dimension.”

“What, do you expect me to make some sort of final stand there?”

“If you don’t want to, I’ll bring a bunch of guys there right now.” NightFlame held up a picture. “This is a picture of their base, taken by Rainbow Dash.”

“So you want Iris to do something with that?”

“Everyone needs to do something.” NightFlame tossed the picture over his shoulder, where it landed on a small yellow rabbit plush. NightFlame turned around to leave, spotted the plush, and screamed. “Who the fuck let that thing exist?!”

“What are you- HOLY FUCK WHY IS THAT- HOW DID IT GET THERE?!”

“You will suffer the pain of a thousand deaths by my sword,” the rabbit telepathically spoke. NightFlame drew a knife on the wall with a sharpie. Dr. Bright picked up the controller and prepared to throw it. SCP-729-J rose above the ground, eyes glowing red. The walls cracked. NightFlame tore the drawn knife from the wall and threw it. Dr. Bright tossed the controller. Neither of their attacks did anything.

“You dare attack the most powerful being in existence?” SCP-729-J emitted a powerful blast that sent them flying backwards. The explosion blew up the back room and drew the attention of everyone in the base.

Dr. Kondraki charged SCP-729-J with a katana. The rabbit plush easily tossed him aside, then impaled him with a magical spike. Random objects around the room glowed red and flew towards the gathered fighters.

Spy sliced through the pineapple tossed at him with ease. He slipped outside, dodging the cans of Beijing Corn. He ran into the streets, jumping over cars.

The British man who guarded the door last chapter narrowly avoided having his head taken off by a flying teacup. The teacup had a foul odor, like someone took a shit in it. The teacup filled with several types of tea. “Must... have...” British crawled towards the teacup on the ground. Another British man, but gay, also crawled towards the cup. The two Brits converged on the cup, grabbing it simultaneously. The poop and tea within the cup rose out and formed water tentacles, wrapping around their necks.

A stereotypical Russian caught the bottle of vodka thrown at him. He stood back to back with Australian Drug Dealer.

SCP-729-J noticed a quiet man in the corner. ASMR quietly held up his middle finger. A flying knife took off ASMR’s entire hand surprisingly bloodlessly. ASMR grabbed the knife and threw it at SCP-729-J. The knife stopped right before slicing through the rabbit plush, turned around, and flew back at ASMR. The normal human grabbed the handle of the knife and tried to push it away from himself. The knife was far more powerful, and stabbed him. ASMR’s body faded into mist.

The last remaining wall of the back room was torn through by a seven foot tall humanoid creature with long arms. Its hands had countless fingers carelessly attached. Its hand grasped SCP-729-J. The rabbit plush exploded, forcing the creature to retreat.

“Мой Бог, что мы наделали?” the Russian quietly whispered. He chugged the vodka in his hand, ignoring everything. Australian Drug Dealer handed him some cocaine, but the now Drunk Russian chucked it at the creature.

SCP-729-J reformed from the stuffing and fabric scattered around. “You have chosen death.” It would have been absolutely terrifying if it wasn’t coming out of the non-existent mouth of a small yellow rabbit plush. SCP-729-J formed a sword with its adorable terrifying power. The sword sliced through the floor. Everyone ran for their lives.

The wall-busting finger-hoarding creature screeched. They rushed at each other, the building collapsing around them. NightFlame and Loomis slipped away while everyone else ran into the street.

NightFlame stopped in front of a door leaking clear sticky fluid. He placed his hand on the door where it said “Phil Swift Clone #17”. The door glowed blue for a moment, then slid open. Inside, a perfect clone of Phil Swift was huddled in the corner, sniffing what appeared to be a tube of Flex Glue Clear.

“Swift,” NightFlame said, interrupting Phil Swift #17’s drug Flex Glue Clear session, “we need you.

“I sNoRt fLeX gLuE eVeRy dAy AwW yEaH! CaN’t StOp mE nOw!” Phil Swift #17 got up, slowly unstuck his feet from the Flex Glue Clear covering the floor, and made his way out. He looked around, noticed all the destruction, and said, “Now that’s a lotta damage!”

“Yeah, and you’re gonna fix it,” Loomis commanded. “If we need you in the fight, we’ll tell you.” Phil Swift #17 moved at inhuman speeds, removing rubble, gluing things together, and fixing everything.

Soon, everyone regrouped at Site-██. The Scarlet King arrived not too long after. The first line of defense was easily broken by the hordes of demons brought by his terrible hand.

After the first battle, allies came from the most unexpected of places. The Global Occult Coalition fought side-by-side with the Chaos Insurgency. The Mekhanites and the Sarkites set aside their differences. The Serpent’s Hand poured out all across the world. The Shark Punching Center took a break from punching sharks to combat the new threat. Then, everything fell when the Scarlet King reached and unleashed the Devourer of Worlds.

Once the Devourer was unleashed and SCP-2000 destroyed, the evacuation began. Of the eight billion people and ten thousand SCP objects, two billion people were saved, and four thousand SCP objects. Two thousand SCP objects escaped on their own.

The Gate Guardian held its ground for three hours before it was overrun by the Scarlet King's forces. The Lunatic dueled a single soldier to a standstill before the Foundation forcefully evacuated it. MTF Pi-7 the Honor-Bound Knights led the evacuation. The Serpent's Hand led millions into the Wanderer's Library.

The Welt in the Crucible broke free from its blocky prison. The pattern screamers held out as long as they could, but their non-existence was cancelled out regardless. The Malfunctioning Destroyer was fired upon Earth to end the threat. The full force of the Three Moons Initiative came crashing down on the King. Sol and Sauelsuesor merged their power to fight the Scarlet King. None could do anything as the solar system fell.

It only took one month for the rest of the universe to die.

"Well, boys, we lost the battle." NightFlame plopped down in a beanbag chair in Loomis's office. Gathered in the office were himself, Loomis, Dr. Bright, Gay British, and the Seventeenth Phil Swift Clone. Loomis scribbled something into his notebook. British sipped some tea. Somehow, Phil Swift #17 managed to fix everything. There were still a few dead bodies scattered around, but that wouldn't matter for much longer.

"It's not over until it's over. We have a direct way into their base. We are in possession of the object they seek. We still hold all the cards." Loomis placed his pencil on the desk next to the cactus. "We know where they're headed, all we need to do is wait until they go for it. Then we raid their base, take what we can, and end this fight once and for all."

"Hmm. Quite the pickle we find ourselves in." Gay British sipped his tea again. "The Scarlet King chap was a diversion. Imagine how powerful the true threat must be if these blokes can use someone like that as a diversion." He looked into his teacup. "Something doesn't taste right about this. Someone get me another spot of tea!"

"I fear an old foe we put away long ago is preparing to rise." NightFlame held out his hand, as if he was expecting someone to hand him something. Loomis gave NightFlame his notebook and pencil. NightFlame scribbled battle plans. "Woodrow Wilson and some less extreme members of the CCP are willing to help us in the attack. The Commie Crushing Peoples, not the Chinese Communist Party. Important distinction."

"Wait, I just realised what's wrong with this tea!" Gay British exclaimed. "There's a load of dung in here! JARED!"

"Jared passed three years ago. You need to let go." NightFlame didn't even look up from what he was drawing in the notebook.

"My god it's poisoned!" Gay British clutched his chest. He fell over, cracking his skull.

"Well, we're gonna have to clean that up." Loomis glanced at Phil Swift #17. "That's your job. At least get rid of that."

"You may have seen a bucket, but you've never seen me fuck-"

"That's enough. Clean that up." Loomis glared at Phil Swift #17. Phil Swift #17 nodded, and swiftly whisked the body away to who knows where.

"We have some new recruits we could use to replenish those of us who died," NightFlame brought up. "I say we go and check that out." He handed the notebook back to Loomis. The notebook was filled with battle plans, strategies, and future events that could be used to their advantage.

Seven Seals,
Seven Rings,
Seven Thrones
For the Scarlet King

Water for the Old Gods,
Blood for the New King

Author's Note

The first half of the Holy Ground arc is now over. Congratulations.

Souls of the Forgotten

The great structure known as the Church of Poyo manifested itself in an isolated corner of Planet Popstar. It was hundreds of miles away from any civilization, the perfect place to hide. Unfortunately, not too long after, a blue vortex opened, and a red flash of lightning raced inside.

The inside was filled to the brim with Kirby imagery. Kirby statues lined the walls. The ceiling was a giant painting of Kirby fighting Meta Knight. Stained glass windows with nothing to do with Kirby were everywhere.

Reverse-Flash dropped everyone off at the very front. A cloaked figure holding a spear stood with his back to them. Reverse-Flash ran away just as fast as he came in.

Grogar, Cain, and Metal Sonic stood there for a solid two minutes waiting for something to happen. “Should I just grab that?” Cain asked.

“I don’t see why not,” Grogar replied. Cain walked up the steps to grab the spear. He moved his hand to touch the intricately carved weapon. Just before his hand made contact, the figure turned around at an extreme speed, hitting Cain with the butt of the spear. The force of the impact sent Cain flying backwards. The cloak flew away in the wind.

“Hello there.” The figure, revealed to be Bandana Dee wearing the hat of the Pope. “Welcome to the C H U R C H O F P O Y O. I, Pope Bandana Dee, will judge if you are worthy. Let us proceed.”

Pope Bandana Dee jammed his spear into the ground. The ground opened up. They fell through. Reverse-Flash came running back and tried to push them away from the hole but fell through as well. Metal Sonic hovered above.

The moment they landed, Reverse-Flash dusted himself off and prepared to leave. “Where do you think you’re going?” asked Cain, interrupting his attempt.

“Uhh, going to scout the area? Yeah, that’s totally what I’m doing, not abandoning you to your fate or anything like that, not that I’ve ever done that.”

“Ok sounds legit,” Cain sarcastically said. Reverse-Flash sped off in a flash of red lightning. Grogar looked around the area. They were in a field of flowers. One of the flowers seemed to be singing something vaguely about being a rip-off of a much more well known franchise.

Grogar prepared to steal whatever magic made the flower move, when the flower turned around. It had an absolutely terrifying face, yet it was sad at the same time. It introduced itself, “Hi, I’m Flowey, Flowey the Flower!”

Grogar aimed his bell at Flowey. “Wait wait wait I can help you!” Flowey’s face turned to an evil grin. “You want to get out, don’t you?"

“Yeah, so I’m gonna kill you.” At this point Cain was looking at Flowey.

“Well, you see, I’m not really alive, per se. I may be named Flowey, but there’s no relation to Asriel Dreemurr. I’m kinda just a dead guy who’s forced to walk these fields forever. Which sucks because I don’t have legs to walk with.”

“Wait, so we’re not in Undertale?”

“Nah mate, we’re in Mark’s Undertale! Well, kinda. I mean, Fluttershy has been casted as Toriel and that’s basically it. Or at least that I know of. It’s kinda like [REDACTED] but not really, I guess?”

“We’re way past the SCP Foundation arc and things are still getting [REDACTED]?” Grogar complained.

“Maybe we’re not out of the whatever you call it just yet,” Cain replied.

“Oh yeah. The SCP Foundation is essentially the Royal Guard. Oops, spoilers. Uh, Dedede is Asgore I think, Meta Knight smells like Undyne for some reason I think he ate her, Alphys is for some reason replaced by Medic from Team Fortress 2 but significantly more S C O T T I S H, Papyrus got addicted to vodka, some random Waddle Doo kidnapped my son, Sans is I have no clue who replaced Sans but apparently the normal Papyrus exists too and I think there's a Shedinja who tried his best to pretend to be Sans but no one fell for it so he got executed by fire and there’s also some Pinkie Pies who live with knock off Toriel I mean Fluttershy and I think Asriel doesn’t exist at all and Fluttershy looks a little weird and I swear she baked a rabbit into one of Pinkie's pies and just last week I ordered a pizza and the delivery guy tried to save my soul with a free Jesus like dude I wanted a pizza not fucking Jesus so I basically stabbed him with his own Jesus and buried the body in the woods and haven’t told a soul also I murdered a random lady in E N G L A N D way back in 1888 and no one ever found out because apparently there was this guy called Jack the Ripper and they blamed him and then I tricked a bunch of people to read something that isn't even plot relevant and is really just filler to make it to a lot of words be s p r e a d o u t around everything I'm even l a m p i n g to add to the word count. And that about covers everything.”

“So do we commit genocide or are we going true pacifist?” Cain wondered.

“We’re the b̷͉̙̙͗͛̋̀͂͑͘͠â̷̦̈͝͝d̵̨̛͖̞͍͗̅́̽͑̀ guys! What do you think?” Flowey laughed cackled. When he stopped, he continued, “Also I want you to go true pacifist and then just kill them at the end. So they can feel the pain of b̷̖͒̈ ̸͈͔̣̓̀͑͗e̷̱̓̋̉̍ ̴̙̥͉͘͠t̸̢̮̲͇̃ ̶̛̱͂͗̈̀͠r̵͎̻̥͉̾̋̈͌ ̵̯̼̂̏̏á̶̡̨͕̖̗̈́̈͜ ̴͉̗̹̯͔͈̐̾͂̓̔̈ȳ̴̨̥͖̣͌̃́̀͂ ̴̨́̍̔̔ą̷̱͕̩̳͇̏̈ ̵̜͇̈́̇l̴̬̐̋͑́͘͘.”

“Nah I’m too lazy to wait that long, I’m just gonna kill everything that moves.” Cain somehow pulled a shotgun out of his loincloth. They proceeded, weapons prepared. It didn’t take long for them to meet Toriel Fluttershy.

“Heeeeello there Flutter Butter!” Flowey greeted, with a mischievous grin. “How ya doin’ this fine day?

“I am a fake Fluttershy. This message was automated. If I am broken, please contact-” The fake Fluttershy never finished that sentence as Cain shot it with his shotgun. They proceeded onward to the gate to what they assumed would be some fake version of Snowdin.

The journey there was relatively uneventful. Pies were stolen, Pinkie was found to have not even existed at all, and more fake Fluttershys were smashed. Right before they arrived at the gate, Cain brought up a question, “Why did you say Pinkie existed?”

“The world is ever changing,” Flowey explained, now in a flower pot. “In fact, just last week NightFlame’s predecessor showed up. When those from the surface world die, they come here to their final resting place. Not just NightFlame’s predecessor, but Ospot Cobblewald, Screaming, Ass, Asshole, Normie, and Gay British as well. They all inevitably die here as well. The lucky ones are forgotten. The unlucky ones, well, let’s just say that it’s so terrifying I purged it from my memory.”

“What happened to the guys from the SCP Foundation?” Grogar asked.

“None of them ever showed up here. There was a flickering of something a little while back, where a really adorable glowing yellow rabbit plush fought against some terrifying finger stealing monster with a Russian accent, but that’s about it.”

They soon arrived at the gate. The gate was closed, as to be expected. Above the gate hung a bat that was almost the size of Grogar. “Another thing,” Flowey said, this time somewhere else entirely, “I’m not gonna go with you once you cross. I might pop up here and there to help out, but other than that, you’re on your own.” Flowey disappeared into the ground.

Grogar stared up at the bat. He felt a familiar energy radiating from the bat. It was as if it was an ancient Equestrian threat long forgotten even to him. Either that or it was relatively new and he didn't know about it at all.

Before he could do anything about the bats, clones of Pinkie Pie popped up from nowhere where they could actually fit. The bat unfurled its wings, revealing itself to be none other than... Fluttershy.

Fluttershy, or more accurately, Flutterbat, hissed at Grogar and Cain. Cain grabbed a Pinkie clone and threatened to shoot the clone with his shotgun.

“Go ahead, end their suffering,” Flutterbat taunted. Cain complied, and the Pinkie clone exploded in a puff of smoke. “Tell me, do you know what it’s like to be erased from your home world? Without your consent? By the ones you thought were your friends?”

“Do you know what it’s like to watch your allies fail to do the one thing they were supposed to do?” Grogar countered. “Over and over again, every day, for ten thousand years? How hard is it to genocide ponies?”

“Your a monster.” Flutterbat stared into Grogar’s soul. Grogar felt himself shrivel up involuntarily.

“Actually, it’s you’re,” Cain corrected.

“That’s what I said,” Flutterbat replied, breaking eye contact with Grogar.

“No, I’m pretty sure you said ‘your’.”

“I thought she said ‘yore’,” Grogar interrupted.

“Well, yore opinion is invalid,” Flutterbat said.

Grogar sighed. “Grammar Nazis.”

“Excuse me, I’m a regular Nazi thank you very much,” Cain replied.

“I hate Nazis,” Flutterbat growled.

“I did Nazi that one coming,” Grogar muttered under his breath.

“I see Kyle!” Cain exclaimed, pointing behind Flutterbat.

“You Sieg Heil?” Flutterbat ignored Cain’s pointing and instead unleashed the Stare on him. Cain froze. The Pinkie clones closed in. Grogar did a front flip over the Pinkie clone directly in front of him. Unfortunately (or fortunately depending on how you look at it), he misjudged the distance and landed directly on top of Pinkie Pie, Snaping her spine.

A perfect copy of Severus Snape climbed out of Pinkie’s back. Snape pointed his wand at Grogar. “Avada Kedavr-” he started. Grogar interrupted him by stealing his magic. Grogar blasted Snape with magic from his horns, which resulted in Snape fading from existence.

During all this chaos, Flutterbat never broke eye contact with Cain. Cain sweated profusely as he desperately tried to grab some sort of weapon. Flutterbat inched closer, ready to sink her fangs into Cain’s absolutely disgusting and mud-caked flesh.

Grogar continued his assault on the Pinkie clones, easily dispatching one after another. Every time he defeated one, they faded like Snape. Of the sixty Pinkie clones that rose from the ground, only one remained. He grasped the last one in his magic. “Any last words?”

“Yeah. Our Last Sister will have her revenge.” Grogar absorbed the final Pinkie’s magic, ending the threat of the Pinkie Clone Army. Grogar laughed. Flutterbat broke eye contact. Cain conjured a club and hit Flutterbat on the head. Flutterbat spread her wings. Grogar restrained her. Flutterbat struggled against Grogar’s magic as Cain stepped closer.

“How does it feel to be the one who’s immobilized?” Cain mocked.

“Who’s the one doing the immobilization?” Flutterbat responded, turning her gaze to Grogar. Grogar froze, releasing her from his magic. Glowing red bats materialized above the group. They flew around in circles, then the bats converged on one spot. Cain barely had enough time to duck before they collided in mid-air, sending out a shockwave of red energy which destroyed nearby scenery. Apples rained from the sky. Cain ducked and weaved through them to reach Flutterbat.

An apple conked Cain’s head from the side. Cain rubbed the point of impact, but as he stopped, he was bombarded by fruit. Cain prepared a small ball of pure life energy in one of his hands. Another apple hitting him distracted him and dissipated the ball.

The red bats once again returned, fluttering all around Cain. Cain swung his club around, somehow missing every single bat even though they were right next to him. The bats crashed into Cain, causing an explosion that should have killed him. When the dust settled, a blue shield had formed around Cain, protecting him from harm.

Cain stepped towards Flutterbat. Flutterbat’s eyes moved in different directions, stopping both Grogar and Cain at the same time.

“Where is your god now?” she mocked.

“Dead, and I killed him,” Cain tried to respond, though it came out more like: “Mmmph, nnnd Y kllkkd hhhhm.”

“I don’t care. You're dead to me.”

Cain mustered up the willpower to respond, “It’s yro’ue.”

“We’re really doing this joke again, aren’t we?”

“Weir.”

“You just said weird without the d.”

“Why must you both be Grammar Nazis?” Grogar complained again.

“Once again, I’m not a Grammar Nazi, I’m a regular Nazi!” Cain reiterated.

“How can you be a Nazi when your decendants are Jewish?”

“I am the master race.”

“Okay this is getting a little out of hand, and only one of us has hands!” Flutterbat said, clearly referring to Cain. She summoned another circle of red bats, keeping her eyes on Grogar and Cain. The bats closed in. Grogar and Cain braced for impact, but it never came.

“Heello, Flutter Butter!” a familiar voice said from somewhere off to the side. Flowey was there, holding Grogar and Cain with his vines. They were now free of Flutterbat’s knockoff stare. Vines shot towards where Flutterbat was standing. In a butter-colored blur, Flutterbat was gone. “Where’d she go?” Flowey asked, confused.

Red lightning and red bats flew across the battlefield. The occasional withered apple was turned into applesauce by what they assumed to be a punch.

Reverse-Flash and his red lightning blade struck Flutterbat. Flutterbat rolled backwards back onto her hooves. She pounced on Reverse-Flash, fangs bared.

Flowey used this time to set up what Grogar could only assume to be the newfangled thing called a ‘Rube Goldberg Machine’. Vines, stones, and a couple of pies pickpocketed from Cain’s loincloth (don’t ask) were all added in.

Flutterbat gained the upper hand in her battle and slammed Reverse-Flash to the ground. Unfortunately for her, the force of the impact caused a single pebble to roll away. The pebble rolled to a stop on a vine catapult.

“You fool! You have fallen into my trap!” Flowey danced around in his tiny flowerpot.

“What trap?” Flutterbat asked. The catapult fired, snapping a very weak vine, dropping a slightly larger stone onto a track made of vines. The stone rolled into a pie, which caused a scale made of vines (we get it, everything’s made of vines) to tip. The pie on the other side of the scale knocked a fist-sized stone onto another vine track. It rolled around in a circle until it bumped into a switch at ground level. The switch activated, sending an electrical pulse through the area, harmlessly washing over everything. A discarded pie tin was charged, which caused it to shake, which knocked another stone onto another track, which bumped into a crossbow, which fired a pointed stone at a vine holding a vine cage, and the vine snapped, sending the cage crashing down on Flutterbat below.

However, Flutterbat looked up and had moved out of the way for at least a full minute. The cage crashed down, which sent a group of leaves flying into the sky. The leaves obstructed the vision of a bat, which crashed into a thick vine. The thick vine vibrated slightly, sending rocks falling down from the top. The rocks landed in a circle around Flutterbat, then a cage of red electricity formed from the rocks.

“Gotcha,” Flowey said. More vines moved to push the door open to reveal a very confused Sans. Sans slowly backed away.

“nah i’m not dealing with this,” he said as he left. The other side of the door was completely open. The gang stared out into the expanse that they would now explore.

Reverse-Flash was the first to cross, then Grogar and Cain. Flowey’s vines retracted back into him, then he popped back into the dirt of his flower pot, presumably teleporting elsewhere.

As they were leaving, they failed to notice Flutterbat fading away, surrounded by a golden glow.

Author's Note

Sans's single line of dialogue would have been in Comic Sans if I could change the damn fonts

That one paragraph is so long it has 300 words including the l a m p e d letters. I checked.

You're never gonna find out who won in the fight between SCP-729-J and R̸̼͍̓ů̴̠̠̘̄̂s̷̞̭̬̠̤͊͜s̷̢͔͈̥͔͇̽̽ǐ̸̺̜͐a̵̯͖̼͋̋̊͊͒̃n̴͎͙͕̦̯̏̏͊̓͝ ̷̞͋E̴̟̗̞̦͕͒x̸̣́͒͛p̶̮̝͔̃̒̆ė̷̻͇̜͖̇̎͆͒͘ŕ̶̗̙í̷̠̖͍̖̮̈͌͒̀ḿ̷̝͓͙̮̞e̸̛͎̜͇͑͘͠n̶̢̨͖̱̻̽͋͜t̷̥̳̼̠͕͠ (damn so many of these author's notes aged like milk with the release of Chessmaster)

Chessmaster

Author's Note

The immaturity is strong with this one.

Longest chapter written so far. Hopefully for a while, too.

Chessmaster

“Welcome back, Rainbow Dash.”

“What? Where am I?”

“Oh yeah. The lights.” NightFlame clapped twice, and the lights flickered on. “You want something to eat?”

“Uhh, sure?”

“Apples, bananas, the flesh and blood of innocent children, pears, what would you like?” NightFlame asked, holding up each thing as he said them.

“Where did you get the flesh and blood of innocent children?” Rainbow asked, mildly worried (only mildly for now).

“Those Sarkic Cultists have a lot of that, I just stole some from them.”

“What was your plan with the camera?”

“Jesus, this isn’t an interrogation. Since we have a picture of the inside of their base, we’ll use Iris’s powers to enter their base and take over. I have a couple of guys who really, really, want to fight, and this is their chance. Anyway, what did you want to eat?”

“... never mind.”

NightFlame turned around and left the white room. “By the way, your roommate’s coming in ten seconds,” he said as he left.

Precisely ten seconds later, a pegasus in a golden glow appeared in the room. Rainbow immediately noticed something off. The silhouette looked like Fluttershy save for the bat wings. The glow dissipated, revealing Flutterbat, eyes closed, and fully accepting of death.

NightFlame popped back in through the door. “I just realized I have no idea what I was gonna do, so I guess I’ll just hang out here.” Flutterbat opened her eyes and whipped her head around to look at who just spoke. “Oh good, you’re awake.”

“Where am I?” she demanded.

“You don’t sound like Fluttershy at all.”

“I’m only going to say this one more time,” she hissed. “Where. Am. I.”

“Haven’t you heard, the enemy of my enemy is my friend? That’s what I am.”

Rainbow Dash opened her mouth to speak but was immediately interrupted by NightFlame.

“Let me tell you a story…”

The other side of the door was a little different from what they expected. Instead of the frosty landscape of Snowdin, they were met with a 1:1 recreation of the Everfree Forest. Or almost 1:1, because they were on a path with guard rails which definitely did not exist in the real Everfree. Once again, Reverse-Flash had deserted them went to scout ahead.

As they walked along, Grogar noticed signs written entirely in lowercase and comic sans. The signs told a story about a skeleton named sans and how he faced down the sins. There was also a minor detail about a brother being killed and a talking golden flower who told someone to kill. Then there was a human impersonator, and then something about being too lazy to continue writing the signs. Then there were more signs, which all said something about confusion.

A small timberwolf pup was curled on the path. Grogar fed it a teensy bit of energy. “You will be a good alpha later,” he said.

“What was that?” Cain asked.

“Nothing,” Grogar quickly replied, as if it wouldn’t come back to bite him in the ass later.

As they neared a clearing, Flowey once again popped up. “Okay, so I lied about Sans, but sans Sans, I did pretty good. I missed that Fluttershy was a bat, so what? That’s not that big of a difference.”

“That’s actually pretty big,” Cain said. “What if the rest of your info is also wrong?”

“Hey, I haven’t left the Ruins knockoff in five years. A lot has changed in those five years. Give me a break.” Flowey popped back into the ground.

In the clearing was a small wooden shack marked ‘Hout Dougs’. Cain knocked on the door to the shack.

Sans Appears!

They heard the sound of a bony creature falling down the stairs. The door opened, revealing literally nothing but a small rubber ball. The rubber ball bounced to a stop in front of Grogar. The ram sorcerer levitated the ball up to eye height and gave it a small squeeze.

Legion of Kirby Knights

As Flowey was beginning to question why boss music was even being used if no one was fighting, two Meta Knights rushed him from nowhere. Flowey was briefly confused as to how there were multiple Meta Knights as the second Meta Knight attacked. The first Meta Knight reached into a conveniently placed pocket dimension and pulled out a golden crown identical to the one on Loomis’s head. The two Meta Knights, one a king, and the other a knight, circled around Flowey, Grogar, and Cain. Flowey was the only one who noticed because Grogar and Cain were still arguing about the genocide of goats.

Flowey made the first move. Meta King shifted to the side as the blast harmlessly bounced off a tree into Papyrus’s spaghetti. A third Meta Knight jumped out of nowhere, this time looking suspiciously like the severed head of Ivan the Terrible wearing Meta Knight’s mask. Meta Knight and Meta Tsar rushed forward to slice Flowey in half. However, due to poor coordination between them, Meta Tsar accidentally stabbed Meta Knight in the side.

Yet another Meta Knight (Jesus, how many are there?), this time Meta Khan, entered from the trees. Meta King and Meta Khan launched simultaneous assaults as the brawl between Meta Knight and Meta Pope continued. Flowey popped back into the ground to avoid the triple threat.

Grogar, due to squabbling with Cain, failed to notice the Meta Brawl forming behind him. Meta Tsar crashed into Grogar, sending him tumbling into Papyrus’s spaghetti. Papyrus, now enraged that his spaghetti was ruined, summoned six bones, two on each side, to surround Grogar, blocking off all escape. Meta Knight turned into a drill and spun straight through the opening in the rows of bone.

“Holy hell...” Grogar muttered as his magic summoned a giant chessboard over the battlefield for no reason.

White pawn to e4. Meta Khan was standing on e4 as the pawn blindsided him. He rolled over into f6. He turned behind him and sliced the black pawn in half. White pawn to a3. Meta King stumbled onto the board. He looked as if the black king was left wide open. black pawn to g5. Meta King internally screamed as black opened itself into a mate in one. He tried to escape the board but tripped. He landed on h5. White queen to h5. The queen rolled over Meta King. As the checkmate settled, the flag of the Czech Republic rose above the black king. The board reset, with Meta Khan replacing the pawn he killed.

Meta King stumbled off the board, bumping into Cain. “Hello there.” Cain lifted his club as Meta King screamed.

Meta Tsar appeared out of nowhere alongside Meta Kaiser. Meta Kaiser tossed a bratwurst into the trajectory of Cain’s club, causing Meta King to scream even harder. Cain dropped his club on the ground. Meta King stopped screaming. He picked up Cain’s club and hit him in the balls.

White pawn to e4. Black didn’t move. Meta Tsar leaped over Cain and Meta King towards the black king. He unfurled his wings, flapped once, and landed next to Meta Khan. “Pawn to e6,” Meta Tsar uttered.

White did not move. Grogar positioned himself just behind the white king. “Knight to a3.”

“Pawn to f7, but slightly above.” Meta Khan flapped his wings and took to the air, hovering just above his original square.

Meta King launched himself into the middle of the chessboard, as did Cain. Meta King landed behind the black queen while Cain tripped over the board, skidded across the 5 row, and stopped in front of the knight.

“Knight to c4,” Grogar uttered. The moment the knight touched the square, the square launched the knight into the sky. A twinkle signified that the knight was not coming back anytime soon. A stick of dynamite rose out of the square to compensate. Meta Khan floated to just above f5, even though it wasn’t his turn yet.

“Bishop to b4.” The black bishop skidded across the board with a terrifying noise that Pinkie Pie would be proud of if she was playing the yovidophone.

“Knight to detonate in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.” The stick of dynamite that replaced the white knight detonated itself, killing itself and the bishop beside it. The original knight crashed down on e5. Cain, despite being right next to ground zero, survived without a scratch. He dusted himself off and walked behind the closest white rook.

“Pawn to e4.” The other black pawn moved to the white pawn on e4. Meta Khan moved to the side to replace the pawn. Both pawns grew arms and briefly engaged in an arm wrestling match before both exploded and a Monopoly hotel was standing where they were before.

“Bishop to c4.” The white bishop moved to the detonation square. Once again, it was launched into the sky and replaced with a stick of dynamite.

“Knight to f6.” As the knight moved to the square he was commanded to do, the black pawns raised a Czech flag in front of their king. They started moving off the board and chopping down trees, and with astonishing speed, they built a guillotine. Meta Khan dropped down to protect the black king, but the pawns shoved the king into the guillotine, and chopped his head off. The ghost of the king rose out from his severed head and took his place back where he was supposed to be.

“Knight to f3.” The knight moved to f3, then suddenly transformed into an actual horse. He rushed down the board, shattering all the pawns who were about to decapitate their queen.

“Hotel to gather rent.” The horse stopped in front of the hotel, pulled three rubles out of his ass, and hoofed them to the hotel. The hotel split in two and ate the horse whole.

“Bishop to e6.” The dynamite bishop moved to e6, just underneath Meta Khan. Meta Khan dropped down and sliced the stick of dynamite in half.

“Czech flag to commit castle.” The Czech flag, the ghost of the black king, and the black rook all moved to castle. The Czech flag planted itself on top of the black rook.

“Cain to punch Meta Khan in the face.”

“Blue Eyes White Dragon.”

“Pikachu, use Thunderbolt.”

“Uno Reverse card.”

“Card castle.”

Every single command was issued at once. Cain punched Meta Khan into the ground, causing a hole to form up. Blue Eyes White Dragon appeared right in front of Cain. A random Pikachu appeared out of nowhere to thunderbolt Blue Eyes White Dragon, but an Uno Reverse card got in the way and Pikachu electrocuted itself. The white pawns built a card castle in the center of the board, right next to the hotel. The pawns all paid rent to the hotel.

“I summon a nuclear strike next to your mom.” Meta Tsar laughed at his unfunny joke.

“Jokes on you, my mom’s dead,” Grogar countered. “Now! Flowey, use Knife!” Flowey, whom everyone had ignored on a6, pulled a glowing red knife out of the ground. With ease, the card castle collapsed onto the hotel. The hotel sank into the ground, causing another hole. Meta Khan flew up from the new hole. Meta Khan systematically sliced every remaining pawn in half.

Meta Knight, Meta King, and Meta Kaiser simultaneously turned into drills, burrowing under the ground. Grogar leaped through the air, grabbing Meta Khan by the feet. Meta Knight, Meta King, and Meta Kaiser burst through the ground, killing the white king.

“Nuclear launch detected.” Everyone looked up to see a nuclear missile approaching them, specifically one that would have been in use during the Cuban Missile Crisis. The missile hit the ground, and nothing happened. For a solid three minutes, the battle came to a standstill. Meta Kaiser and Meta Knight readied their kartoffel and sword respectively. Meta Tsar produced a pierogi. Meta King shoved his sword in the ground. The last Meta Warrior rose from the ground; the disembodied head of Henry Stickmin’s stand spirit, Reference, but wearing Meta Knight’s mask (no explanation given). Meta Reference punched the missile, and suddenly the explosion happened.

Except it was really small. In fact, too small for a missile the size of the giant white dragon standing in the middle of the battlefield. Blue Eyes White Dragon swallowed what remained of the missile.

“Ah, the Cuban Missile Crisis. Brings back memories.” Reverse-Flash was suddenly standing on top of the dead body of Blue Eyes White Dragon. Did I mention that Blue Eyes White Dragon died instantly without explanation? “I pretended to be some Soviet politician and accused Nikita Khrushchev of being a Russian spy. Fun times.”

Meta Reference rushed Reverse-Flash, but the superior yellow speedster simply moved to the side, causing Meta Reference to crash into Papyrus’s spaghetti. Papyrus, now fed up with everyone ruining his spaghetti, stole three Gaster Blasters from Sans and aimed every single one at Meta Reference.

“Oh, crap.” Meta Reference flew up to avoid the Gaster Blasters. His foot caught on a branch and he stumbled just far enough to fall right into Papyrus’s attack.

Meta Khan, Meta King, Meta Kaiser, Meta Knight, and Meta Tsar held their weapons up as they prepared to avenge their fallen comrade. Instead of attacking Papyrus like idiots, they surrounded Reverse-Flash. They dogpiled him, grabbing whatever limb they could.

“I got his leg!”

“I think this is his arm!”

“On the count of three, we pull him out. One! Two! Three!” When they all pulled out, they found out they were holding each other.

“What a shame,” said Reverse-Flash from d5, twirling a ball on his finger.

“Get him!” Taffy puppies rebuilt themselves from their remains left on the ground. Unfortunately for all of them, the Alpha Timberwolf pup appeared. The battle wasn’t even close.

The other Knights all rushed Reverse-Flash at once. In one swift motion, all of them were tossed aside.

“You know what? Fine!” Meta King dusted himself off, then continued, “Queen to detonate!” The black queen glowed a pulsating red. A wave of heat spread out across the entire forest.

The resulting explosion destroyed the entire forest.

“that was anticlimactic.”

“AGREED, BROTHER!”

The Pony of Shadows, the Storm King, and King Sombra stood around the statue. “Are you sure this is a good idea?” the Storm King asked.

“Grogar may not like them because they plotted to betray someone they assumed was him, but we need the manpower.” The Pony of Shadows filled the statue with his dark magic. “Besides, we need one more expedition into Equestria, and they’re the only ones who know where we’re supposed to go.”

The stone cracked. Black chitin and red fur replaced solid stone. Soon, Chrysalis and Tirek were free. The two looked around to see who freed them.

“I suppose you need us for some plot to destroy Equestria?” Chrysalis deduced.

“Yes, and no,” said the Pony of Shadows. “We need you to bring us to the cave where you first met. I believe Grogar left a few artifacts there.”

“What about Cozy?” Tirek asked.

“Collateral.” The Storm King shoved the rest of the statue off to the side. “Let’s go, maggot.”

“What did you just call me?” Chrysalis hissed, baring her fangs at the Storm King.

“Are your maggot ears too rotten to hear anything I say?” the Storm King retorted.

Chrysalis pounced. With one swing of his staff, the Storm King knocked her to the ground. Chrysalis tried in vain to use her magic, not realizing it was still stored in the Bewitching Bell.

Both Chrysalis and the Storm King were frozen by a dark magic aura before either could attack. “I can sense that victory is close. Do not engage in petty squabbles until our victory is ensured.”

It was only now Chrysalis noticed how imposing the Pony of Shadows was. He towered over everyone else. Not even the Storm King standing up straight was a match for his height.

A green portal opened. “We’re moving out.”

Desert Falls

Reverse-Flash grabbed Grogar and Cain as the queen exploded, running both of them to a desert area. Waves of sand fell down the cliffside like a waterfall made of sand. Rivers of sand flowed all throughout the area. Rocks jutted out from the sea of sand. A large canyon carved its way through the landscape. Cacti, cactuses, and cactopodes were planted everywhere.

Reverse-Flash dumped both Grogar and Cain on a random rock, then ran away again. He briefly returned to drop Cain’s club. Grogar shook his head several times, then looked around. “God damn that’s a lot of sand.”

“We’re in a fucking desert,” Cain noted.

“Thank you, Captain Obvious.” Grogar leaped down onto the sand. “Now, we gotta find the real Meta Knight, not whatever those guys were.”

“Hey! We’re real!” shouted some voice from somewhere.

“No, you’re not, you’re just a bunch of glorified OCs!” Cain countered. Flowey popped up from the sand.

“Hey, yeah, it’s me, Flowey the Flower. According to normal Undertale, I’m not supposed to be here. Anyway, I made a mistake. Meta Knight actually isn’t here, and the guy named Meta Knight is actually Meta European Samurai Equivalent, but he calls himself Meta Knight to avoid confusion.”

“That makes it even more confusing,” Cain said.

“Yeah, but since Meta Knight is unforgettable, he gets to do that.”

“What happens when someone dies here?” Grogar asked.

“Well, memories of them will begin to disappear from the surface world, unless they were sent here. That’s good news for you, since you’ll never be forgotten.” Flowey’s innocent face shifted into a monstrous one. “That is, if I don’t kill everyone who you’ve ever met.”

“Yeah, that’s not gonna work since I’m a Bible character,” Cain said.

“I’m in a storybook for foals. You’ll have to wipe out the entire population of Equestria if you want to get rid of me.” Grogar brushed past Flowey.

“Hey! I’m still over here!” Flowey shouted. Cain shrugged and left to follow Grogar.

Not too long later, Grogar and Cain reached a hill. On the hill stood yet another OC based around Meta Knight. The new Meta Knight sported a sword dripping with green liquid. His mask had a diagonal scar across the entire face.

“You shall not pass!” Toxa Knight commanded. “You defeated my brethren in a game of Chess, but let’s see how you fare against the MASTER!” A chess set made of sandstone rose out of the ground. Red sandstone represented black, yellow sandstone represented white. “You move first.”

“Pawn to e4.” The yellow pawn scraped its way across the board.

“Pawn to d5.” The red pawn moved until it was diagonal to the other pawn. Without any orders, both pawns moved up one space.

“Pawn to d3.” A yellow pawn moved to block the other pawn. The two pawns drew swords and began to fight. Grogar picked up some other pawns and prepared to barrage the other king.

“Hey, you can’t do that!” Toxa Knight protested.

“Yes, we can!” Grogar retorted. Every single pawn launched like a missile until the red king was nothing but a smoking crater. “Ha! Checkmate!”

“No! I was doing so well!” Toxa Knight cried as he stabbed his sword into the ground.

“You only made like two moves,” Cain pointed out.

“That would have been a mate in one!”

“I don’t think you understand Chess,” Grogar said.

“Oh, I understand more than you.” The chessboard sank back into the ground. “Now, allow us to fight like true kindergarteners!”

Upon hearing this, Grogar immediately put up an indestructible force field. Toxa Knight picked up his sword, turned it into an indestructible-force-field-destroying sword, and sliced through the force field.

Cain pulled out a perfect accuracy never missing instant kill gun and opened fire. Toxa Knight performed an ultra-perfect dodge. Acid geysers burst out from the sand. Grogar bounced backward to avoid the acid. Cain didn’t get the memo and was treated to a lot of acid to the face.

Cain stood there, unharmed, blue energy drifting off of his skin. “Oh, now you’ve done it!” Cain ran forward at a speed Sonic the Hedgehog would be proud of but tripped just before he reached Toxa Knight.

“Don’t you dare hurt the boss,” said Meta King, standing with his stubby leg outstretched. Meta Khan, Meta Kaiser, Meta Tsar, and Meta Knight soon landed nearby.

“Are you guys like some sort of royal guard?” Cain asked.

“We’re the goddamn resistance movement,” Meta King said.

“So, do we resume beating the ever-living shit out of each other, or do we just give up?” Grogar prepared his magic in case the former was the answer.

“я буду бить твое дерьмо, пока оно не умрет!” Meta Tsar shouted in Google Translated Russian.

“Es war von vornherein nie lebendig!” Meta Kaiser yelled back.

“бид гадаад хэлээр хашгирахаа больж чадах уу?” Meta Khan interrupted.

“Nein!”

“Shut up and let me summon more friends!” Toxa Knight boomed. Toxa Knight held up his sword, and three new Meta Knight clones appeared. Meta Samurai, Meta Sultan, and Meta Chieftain landed around him.

“Are we gonna get a Meta Patriarch now?” Cain asked sarcastically.

“He was killed by that one weird guy with the pencil,” Toxa Knight responded in a perfectly calm tone. “Meta Matriarch got herself stabbed to death by that one talking flower when she heard.”

“Dude, you just killed the mood,” Meta Samurai said. Another Meta Knight clone appeared from far away. Meta Shogun landed next to Meta Samurai.

Rush

The two sides charged at each other. However, the Meta Knight army decided to attack two by two, instead of overwhelming them with force.

Meta Khan and Meta Sultan attacked first. Meta Khan drew his bow and fired, somehow missing completely and hitting a small rock spire. Meta Sultan attacked next, slipping on literally nothing and falling on his back. Cain cracked his knuckles and prepared to beat the ever living shit out of Meta Sultan.

Cain lifted Meta Sultan into the air, making a big show of absorbing his life force. Meta Sultan slowly withered away into a wrinkly blob with an onion hat. Once Cain was done, he dropped Meta Sultan’s dead body to the ground. Desert vegetation covered Meta Sultan’s turban and dragged him under the sand.

Meta Chieftain rushed forward with his stone hammers. He struck the stone spire which Meta Khan previously hit. The spire fell over. Meta Khan and Meta Chieftain moved away from the falling area.

Grogar stopped the spire with his magic, then swung it around, smacking Meta Khan down into the sand. He smashed the spire on Meta Khan over and over again, until Meta Khan was nothing but a Mongolian pancake.

“Stop attacking like brainless minions and actually try to do something!” Toxa Knight ordered. Meta Chieftain, Meta Kaiser, and Meta Tsar nodded and moved to surround Grogar and Cain. Meta Kaiser pulled a bratwurst out of a conveniently placed pocket dimension and smacked Grogar in the face with it. Cain pulled the sausage off of Grogar’s face and ate it in four bites.

Meta Tsar spun around like a Russian tornado. The tornado nearly made contact with Cain, but sausage bits distracted Meta Tsar and he turned to Grogar. Grogar rang his bell, and Meta Tsar stopped in his tracks.

Meta Tsar watched his “magic” travel from his body to Grogar’s bell. Cain attacked from behind while he was distracted, causing a blue explosion the size of Spongebob’s square pants. Meta Tsar flew into the floating stone spire and got himself impaled. He popped like a balloon disguised as a piñata.

Meta Kaiser decided to run away, but as he was leaving, he was stabbed through the back by a poison-tipped blade. Meta Chieftain chose that moment to crush his own non-existent skull with a hammer. His attempt at death failed, and instead, he was sent flying backward into Toxa Knight’s sword. Meta Knight, Meta King, Meta Shogun, and Meta Samurai shared a few brief glances before deciding it wasn’t worth it.

“If you desert I’m stabbing you just like I stabbed Meta Stormtrooper and Meta Redshirt last week!” Toxa Knight bellowed. Meta Samurai, Meta Shogun, Meta Knight, and Meta King stopped leaving and turned to face Grogar and Cain.

“If you leave I’ll give you Bofa,” Cain said.

“What’s Bofa?” asked Meta King.

“Bofa deez nuts,” Grogar replied.

“What’s a nut?” Meta Shogun asked obliviously before realizing he forgot to speak Japanese.

“A nut is like a pecan,” Meta Knight explained.

“Pecan at deez nuts!” Cain yelled.

“I’ll make you sugondese nuts!” Meta Samurai screamed as he rammed his katana through Cain’s nuts.

“Oww, my wife is gonna kill me,” Cain muttered.

“Who’s your wife?” Grogar asked, setting up another immature joke.

“Candice.”

“Who’s Candice?” asked Meta Samurai.

“Candice dick fit in your mouth?” Grogar and Cain simultaneously shouted as they hit Meta Samurai so hard that the $3.99 samurai helmet he bought from Wish broke. Meta Samurai attempted to scooch forwards and pull his katana out from Cain’s nuts, but Cain kicked him in the face.

“Man, I haven’t had this much fun since I went to Kenya and caught ten Slugma,” Grogar said.

“What’s a Slugma?” Meta Samurai weakly asked.

“Slugma balls.” Grogar picked up the spire and slammed through Meta Samurai’s body, impaling him to the sand. The force of the impact kicked up enough sand to begin a five-turn sandstorm.

Meta King and Meta King flanked Cain from the sides, while Meta Shogun rushed him head-on. As he used his two arms to hold them off and his leg to stop Meta Shogun, Toxa Knight rushed through the sandstorm to rip Meta Samurai’s katana out of Cain’s nuts. He tossed it to Meta Shogun, who then proceeded to jam it back into Cain’s nuts. Meta Shogun ripped it out again, then bounced back and spun around, kicking up more sand to the sandstorm. Meta Knight and Meta King also bounced back next to Meta Shogun and turned themselves into tornadoes. Toxa Knight watched as Meta Shogun did a Maori war dance.

Meta Shogun rushed Grogar as he covered his eyes. Unfortunately, Meta Shogun didn’t anticipate Grogar’s magical shield popping up. He bounced off into Cain’s fully regenerated nuts. He jammed his katanas into the sides of Cain’s legs, then ripped them out again.

Cain attempted to punt Meta Shogun but due to the sandstorm obstructing his vision, he missed and kicked the sand. He lost his balance and fell over. Meta Shogun used the sands to his advantage as he prepared to stab Grogar from behind.

Grogar pooled his magic into one spot, then blasted the sand away. However, due to the actions of Meta Knight and Meta King, it wouldn’t last. For a brief moment, the sand was completely gone, and Grogar took advantage of it to blast Meta Shogun with more magic. A nearby cactus lit on fire, and Grogar pulled it close to use as a weapon.

The sandstorm kicked up again. Meta Shogun sliced through Grogar’s flaming cactus. His katana lit on fire even though metal doesn’t burn. Grogar ditched the cactus.

The sandstorm subsided. Grogar ripped the stone spire out of the ground and hit Meta King and Meta Knight in a one-two combo, knocking both of them out of the battlefield. Cain wiped sand out of his eyes, then formed a ball of pure life energy in his hands. Meta Shogun stared in shock as a flaming stone spire smacked him into the next chapter.

Meta Knight and Meta King recovered, then drew their swords and prepared to attack. Vines burst out of the ground and strangled Meta Knight. The vines stole his sword and stabbed him so many times his body was unrecognizable.

Toxa Knight and Meta King stood side-by-side as Grogar and Cain prepared to make their final attack. Toxa Knight kicked Meta King forwards into Cain’s punch. Grogar quickly followed up with a ram to the face. Grogar and Cain blasted Meta King with their full power, and Meta King was soon vaporized.

“That wasn’t fair at all,” Grogar noted.

“It’s time to finish this,” Cain said. Cain re-energized his fists and walked forward calmly towards Toxa Knight. He launched into a flurry of punches that would make Raiden from Metal Gear Rising proud. He punched so hard and fast that the sounds of bones cracking could be heard from where Grogar was standing.

When the dust settled, Cain held his fists as if he had broken them, and Toxa Knight was completely unharmed. The corpses of his fallen comrades rose up from the ground and flew toward him. When the first one touched, it vanished instantly, and a green glow emitted from Toxa Knight’s eyes. With every body added, the glow became stronger, and it spread to the rest of his body. Soon, even Meta Reference’s soul floated towards Toxa Knight. Flowey intercepted it and absorbed it into himself.

“How did you not die?” Cain’s confidence was completely gone.

“Who you previously fought had been nothing but an extension of myself.”

“Then why were they running away if you didn’t want them to?” Grogar asked.

“I’m gonna need you to get all the way off my back about that teensy insignificant detail,” Toxa Knight replied, motioning to attack with his sword.

Toxa Knight rushed forwards. Cain cleared his eyes and raised his broken fists to fight. Toxa Knight easily outmaneuvered all of Cain’s strikes and tossed him aside. Grogar built a shield in front of himself. Toxa Knight moved behind Grogar and smacked him away. Cain stood up again but was rushed by Toxa Knight.

Flowey popped up from the ground to offer support, but all of his vines and even the giant tree he summoned were sliced clean through by Toxa Knight’s sword. He couldn’t even regrow them from the stumps because they withered immediately afterward.

As Grogar, Cain, and Flowey tried their best to face off against an opponent who only outclassed them in terms of speed, a flash of red lightning saved them. Reverse-Flash easily outmaneuvered Toxa Knight. Poison and lightning clashed in a Christmas-colored blast. Reverse-Flash summoned a lightning strike to him, materializing a red lightning blade in his hand.

The two traded blow after blow, sword strike after lightning blade strike, punch after punch, and chess capture after chess capture. Neither gained the upper hand for what seemed like an eternity. Eventually, Toxa Knight faked out Reverse-Flash. One acid blast later, and Reverse-Flash was on the ground with the rest of his allies. He quickly vibrated off the acid and stood up.

Grogar, Cain, Flowey, and Reverse-Flash huddled and made a plan. “Cain and I will attack from the front, and he’ll counter-strike us. Reverse-Flash, when you see him do that, you run at him from the side. Flowey, once that happens, you tie him up. After that, we do whatever the fuck we want.” Everyone nodded, and Reverse-Flash ran away again. Cain got into a fighting stance and stood back-to-back with Grogar. They charged.

Toxa Knight prepared to counter their attack, then Reverse-Flash came running back. Toxa Knight was hit with a lightning punch that sent out shockwaves strong enough to knock Cain onto his back. Grogar only remained standing due to him having four legs.

Toxa Knight was momentarily disoriented, and Flowey used that moment to tie him up. A thorny vine sprouted out of the ground. Grogar, Cain, and Reverse-Flash prepared to do everything they could to kill Toxa Knight.

“And that’s how you make a Reuben sandwich in a dishwasher.”

“I thought you were telling us our mission,” Rainbow Dash complained.

“What mission?” NightFlame asked.

“The one that you sent me to do which ended in me getting captured,” Rainbow said.

“The one that you clearly summoned me here to participate in,” Flutterbat added.

“Oh yeah. The picture has been handed to someone who can use it, and the teleportation device has been implemented. I’ll go to the Council and see if I can get the full support of the army in our attack. If not, well, I still have an army.” NightFlame tossed two soggy sandwiches at the two ponies. The sandwiches landed on the floor with a sad schlop. He got up, turned around, and left.

“Wow, he sucks at throwing,” Flutterbat noted.

Rainbow Dash silently agreed.

The battle raged on as a sandstorm brewed. Reverse-Flash somehow had enough time to run away and grab a radio. He turned it on and a song began to play.

Fight!

Toxa Knight, enraged at being Rickrolled, attacked with renewed vigor. Despite being significantly slower, he still managed to gain the upper hand. A single slash sent drops of poison flying toward Grogar and Cain. Reverse-Flash grabbed Toxa Knight in a bear hug. Flexible cactus strips burst out of the ground to grab Toxa Knight. They wrapped around all four of his nubs and his sword.

“We have you now. Do you yield?” Grogar stepped up, horns glowing yellow.

“Bold of you to assume you have the upper hand,” Toxa Knight calmly replied. The sand began shifting as a worm moved underneath.

The worm burst out of the ground, teeth dripping with venom. It struck the ground near Grogar, displacing volumes of sand. Grogar tried using his monster influence on the sandworm, to no avail.

“Sorry to disappoint, but he isn’t one of yours,” Toxa Knight said, landing on top of the sandworm’s head as the sandworm pulled itself completely out of the sand. Cactus nubs fell to the ground beneath the sandworm’s head. “This is a Mongolian Death Worm, sadly forgotten by most of the world as skeptics claimed it was truly a snake.”

The Mongolian Death Worm stood nearly as tall as the Pony of Shadows, shadowy wings outstretched. It had no eyes and its mouth was filled with sharp reptilian teeth. Each segment of its body had a thick plate of armor covering most of it, leaving very few gaps that would be nearly impossible to hit when the worm moved.

Toxa Knight willed for the battlefield to change. The sandstorm subsided and was replaced by a blizzard. The sandy desert gave way to an icy tundra. Despite the Mongolian Death Worm being most well known for attacking in desert environments, the frigid air didn’t seem to affect it. In fact, it seemed to become more active.

“There’s nowhere to run. The ground is too frozen to escape. My beautiful worm will kill you before you even get a chance to-” Toxa Knight was interrupted by Grogar launching Cain at the speed of an ICBM. Cain’s fist became coated with blue flame as it connected with Toxa Knight’s mask. The Mongolian Death Worm reared up, causing Cain to stumble off. Toxa Knight flipped back onto his nubby feet as Cain landed on his face.

Toxa Knight lunged for the dazed Cain, only for his attack to be met by Reverse-Flash’s lightning blade. Toxic green fluid dripped all across the ground as the two fastest combatants resumed their conflict.

Their blades briefly crossed, then Reverse-Flash pushed Toxa Knight backward. Toxa Knight resumed his battle stance.

“You will tell me where I can get out of here, then I’ll kill you and your pathetic pet worm,” Reverse-Flash calmly demanded.

“I don’t have to tell you anything,” Toxa Knight responded, equally as calm. “But if you wish to know, the temple on the mountain’s peak is your way out. But I advise you to avoid it if you value your life.”

“Thanks,” Reverse-Flash said, dropping his battle with Toxa Knight to run away.

The Mongolian Death Worm’s venom dripped onto the frozen ground. Tundra grasses withered away at just the touch of venom. Grogar’s magic condensed the flurry of snow in the air into ice. The Death Worm attacked, slithering right into Grogar’s trap. Using magic, Grogar transformed the massive blocks of ice into ice chains. The chains wrapped around the Death Worm and pinned it to the ground.

Grogar stepped closer. The Worm roared. Grogar snapped its mouth shut with another ice chain. Granting magic to the beast, Grogar gained control over it.

Toxa Knight turned to see the Mongolian Death Worm break free from its icy bondage. He briefly grinned underneath his mask before seeing the Worm was targeting him.

Grogar stepped forward, Toxa Knight held his sword out in front of him, and the Death Worm dove underneath the frozen earth. The ram sorcerer rammed into Toxa Knight faster than Magnus Carlsen checkmated Bill Gates. Toxa Knight’s blade collided with Grogar’s horn as he slid backward. The Death Worm burst out of the ground, swallowing Toxa Knight whole.

The Mongolian Death Worm reared back in pain as a blade cut its way through it. Toxa Knight pushed through the hole he made. The Death Worm fell limp once Toxa Knight was fully out.

Before Toxa Knight could resume the battle, ice chains swarmed around him and bound his wings. The chains rooted themselves in the ground around some evergreen trees.

The battlefield changed. The ice vanished, changing the terrain to rocky cliffs. Boulders tumbled down mountains. Massive predatory birds carried off elephants in their talons. A small green glow emanated from the mountaintop, where a small temple lay.

“Your next opponent shall not be as merciful as I have been,” Toxa Knight warned as the same golden glow that enveloped Flutterbat formed around him. “If you continue on the path you have chosen, the temple will be your final resting ground.”

NightFlame studied the “battle” happening in the sealed-off chamber. By this point, Russian Experiment’s berserk state had worn off and he was cowering in the corner, hands covering his face. SCP-729-J hovered in the center of the room, still surrounded by a red aura.

He pressed a button on the console. A robotic arm shot out to grab SCP-729-J, but just as it was about to touch, it shied away and retreated back into the wall. NightFlame stood up from his chair and headed out to retrieve SCP-729-J himself.

Opening the door, he felt a massive wave of fear wash over him. He pushed through the fear, knowing it was only the effects of the rabbit plush. Closing his eyes, his trembling arm reached out and touched the Beast. His hand closed on the soft demon couch stuffing rabbit plush. The aura died down. Russian Experiment screeched in the general direction of the beast.

NightFlame opened his eyes. The fear was gone. He was immune. He made eye contact with Russian Experiment, who remained in a fetal position in the corner. He put the plush in his pocket and confidently stepped out of the chamber.

Temple Peak

The skull cave was empty. Well, almost empty. There were several scattered stone tablets detailing an assault plan on Canterlot, as well as some dangerous magical artifacts that Grogar had collected in the two years between his release and his supposed death. There was a ram-shaped nuclear shadow on one of the walls, and the ram’s eye crystal ball rested on the table-shaped stone in the center.

The Storm King inspected the Alicorn Amulet, only for it to be swiped by Sombra. Sombra cackled as he put the amulet on his neck. The Pony of Shadows placed the Helm of Shadows on his head, fueling his body with the darkness.

Chrysalis peered into the Ram’s Eye, watching the small purple dragon known as Spike eat breakfast in Canterlot Castle. Twilight Sparkle was nowhere to be seen. The scene shifted to Ponyville, where a masked swordswoman was attacking Starlight.

“Wrap it up, we have what we need,” the Pony of Shadows announced

“At this point I’m even willing to team up with that wretched Starlight Glimmer if it means we don’t have to be subservient to them.” The disdain in Chrysalis’s voice was clear as a foggy street as seen by a drunk driver who happens to be blind on a snowy winter night through a tinted windshield.

Soon after the portal closed, hooves stepped into the cave. Twilight and Sunburst burst in, horns at the ready. Sunburst relaxed, but Twilight panicked.

“The dark energy signature was right here!” Twilight said, exasperated. Sunburst put a hoof to his face.

The mountaintop was a whirlwind of red lightning and green light. It was near impossible to get any closer than Grogar and Cain already had. Grogar could barely make out a glowing doorway in the center of the temple.

It had taken the entire journey up the mountain for Cain to thaw out, and Flowey hadn’t reappeared since the battle against Toxa Knight. Cain didn’t fully reawaken when he thawed, but had been murmuring something about hell. He heard bits and pieces of magic far more ancient than himself.

The temple itself was of Greek design. The battle that was occurring had reduced a quarter of the temple to rubble. Broken pillars lay scattered about, an altar had been smashed to bits, and the corpses of two priests lay in the corner. Their hearts had been removed, but there was no sign of damage anywhere on them. Their faces had been brutalized and had clearly been run at full speed on the mountainside, which would likely explain the bloodstains on the mountain path.

By the time Cain woke up, three Reverse-Flashes lay beaten to a pulp and a fourth was in the grasp of a black and yellow robot, clearly of Eggman design. The robot had a green gemstone embedded within its torso. The first three Reverse-Flashes faded as the fourth was tossed out of the temple down the mountainside.

“What I wouldn’t give for that Death Worm right now,” Grogar muttered underneath his breath. Cain wobbled as he climbed down from Grogar’s back.

“A two on one doesn’t seem very fair, does it?” the robot said. “You can call me Shard, but it’s not like you’ll live long enough for that to matter.”

Before either side could initiate a fight, Meta Shogun crashed through the ceiling, still clutching the katana of his fallen subordinate. Meta Shogun scrambled to his stubby feet and spread his wings.

“Heh, one of those idiots is back,” Cain laughed weakly. “We already beat them, didn’t we?” Grogar nodded.

Shard’s hand retreated back into his arm and was replaced by several assorted weapons before he settled on a simple arm cannon. Meta Shogun held his two katanas in a battle stance. Grogar prepared several magical shields.

Meta Shogun dashed forward, but tripped over a rock and stabbed himself with his katana. Grogar stepped on him a few times for good measure.

“I guess that wraps that up.” Grogar turned to Shard. “Now, about you. You said two on one isn’t fair? Well then, surrender or die.”

“It’s not fair for you. Like I said, you don’t stand a chance.” Shard’s other hand retreated into his arm. He settled on a chainsaw. He revved the chainsaw and dashed towards the duo.

The Overseer Council, the Administrator, and NightFlame sat in a large dark room with fifteen chairs around a round table. Each one had their own snacks and drinks. Most had already begun drinking.

The only light came from the bioluminescent creatures swimming in the water underneath the glass floor. Two scarred mosasaurs swam among assorted fishes.

“Why have you called us here?” O5-8 began.

“I’m sure you all know who I am,” NightFlame said, not answering the Overseer’s question. “I’m also sure you’ve noticed the lack of councils who run a singular organization in this world. At most there’s two, sometimes equals like with the British-Australian Drug Empire, and sometimes with one in charge and the other as a subordinate, such as how the American Empire operates.”

“What exactly are you getting at?” O5-6 said impatiently as he drummed his fingers to the beat of Megalovania.

“In this world, you are unique as an organization, but not as individuals. In this light, the fourteen of you are nearly indistinguishable and entirely interchangeable. There is no reason for you to exist anymore.”

“I believe we are in grave danger,” said O5-11, nervously shifting in his seat.

“You see those two mosasaurs under the water? Those two are the last mariners of Grimkahn the Almighty, conqueror of the seven seas. They haven’t tasted true flesh since the fateful Battle of Fathomir where Grimkahn’s armada was defeated in a single decisive battle. They retreated like cowards while their comrades fought valiantly to the end. They don’t want that as their legacy.”

“You’re going to open the glass floor and feed us to them,” Five realized.

“Oh, no, that would be barbaric. I simply poisoned your drinks.” Four spit out his tea. The Overseers all shifted in their chairs. The Administrator didn’t move.

Six pulled a gun on NightFlame. “You are going to give us the antidote right now or I will send a bullet straight through your brain.” NightFlame cocked an eyebrow, but otherwise didn’t move.

“Good luck with that,” NightFlame said with a smile. Six pulled the trigger and unloaded several rounds into NightFlame, who didn’t react. “Have fun dying.” And with that, NightFlame vanished, leaving behind his chair, which was riddled with bullets.

“Why are you so calm?” Three asked the Administrator in a robotic voice.

“I don’t drink,” the Administrator stated as he stood up and stepped towards the door.

“You bastard!” Four weakly yelled towards his former superior, before he slumped forward in his chair, motionless.

“I am an entirely legitimate child, thank you very much,” the Administrator told the now deceased Four. As he closed the door behind him, it locked with an audible click. Two began hyperventilating.

“Let us out you tentacled freak!” Eight demanded. The Administrator didn’t answer. “Fuck, we’re alone now.”

“Look on the bright side, Eight,” Thirteen told his colleague, “We won’t be torn to shreds by aquatic reptiles. We’ll instead be poisoned to death.”

“How is that a good thing!?” Eight shouted at Thirteen. Eight clutched his chest as he succumbed to the poison.

“Twelve, would you like to call a Code Brown?” Thirteen asked.

“Of course I would, but oh well, the door has been locked and I’m about to die.”

“How are you two so calm right now?” Two asked between breaths. Her breaths became quicker and shallower until she passed.

“I don’t like tea,” Thirteen said as Ten cried in the fetal position in the corner. Five collapsed to the floor behind them.

“If I am going to die, I shall face death with dignity, like Frederick the Great,” Seven boldly proclaimed. She positioned herself to be more comfortable in her chair, then remained motionless. Six’s gun dropped to the ground. One and Eleven closed their eyes. All four passed painlessly.

Twelve glanced towards the corner. Ten’s eyes were still open, but they were dull and lifeless. “Everyone else is dead, Joey. I don’t have much time left.”

Thirteen took one last look at the table. Three was still quietly playing with his fingers, though the rest of his body was motionless, and Nine’s breaths gave her away as still alive. “Goodbye, I guess,” he said to Twelve. Twelve sat down as he accepted his death.

Thirteen frowned. He heard the doorknob jiggle. Thinking quickly, he took his fist and smashed the fourth wall. He left just before the door opened.

Shard smashed through the door using Cain as a battering ram. Grogar took his chance and dashed through the door. A flash of yellow and red burst past just before Grogar made it through.

As Grogar slammed the door behind him, two thick vines jammed the door open. The door was pushed open again as Omega Flowey in his full glory entered the battle.

Grogar took in the new place he was in. It was the Church of Poyo. They were free.

Shard dropped Cain by Grogar’s hooves. Flowey and Reverse-Flash assumed their positions nearby. Shard soon appeared next to Pope Bandana Dee.

“So, you’ve managed to escape the Realm of the Forgotten, huh?” Pope Bandana Dee began. “Too bad you’ll fall in battle to the Poyopopemobile before you-”

“Where’s Metal?” Cain interrupted.

“On the ceiling,” Pope Bandana Dee answered, pointing up with his spear. “He may have been one of the strongest opponents I’ve ever faced, but the bar really isn’t that high.”

“There’s five of us and only three of you,” Grogar pointed out. “Give up the spear and we’ll let you live.”

“You only think I’m outnumbered,” Pope Bandana Dee said calmly.

A Bad Time (aka VS Sans)

By the time Grogar noticed the mound of flesh in the corner, it was too late. It moved and formed itself a set of arms and legs. As it stood up, it took the shape of an ear. In response, Grogar tapped deep into his bell’s magic and summoned the Mongolian Death Worm and the Alpha Timberwolf Pup.

“Screwing yourself over even more, are we?” Grogar laughed. “My monsters are far stronger than yours could ever be.”

“Who said anything about monsters?” Pope Bandana Dee replied with an eerie calmness. He pointed his spear straight up, then quickly aimed it at Flowey. Metal Sonic detached from the ceiling and crashed into Flowey. “That’s two down, and we haven’t even begun yet.” Toxa Knight appeared by the side of Pope Bandana Dee in a golden flash. A golden glow enveloped Flowey.

“Wait, no I don’t want to go back!” Flowey begged. “Almighty [̸̨̮͐͠ͅR̶̖̗̞̓͌Ė̸͖̩̳̈́͆D̸̡̪̈́A̸̪͛̃̇ͅͅC̷͙̰̖̆̄̎T̵̗͕́Ẽ̸̜̰͇Ḑ̶͎͇̌͗]̴̲̱͚̐, please! I’ll do anything! Just don’t make me go back to him!”

“Goodbye, Pseudo-Flowey,” Pope Bandana Dee said, “Have fun with Loomis.”

“My power has reached its peak! I can serve you better than I could ever before! Please [̸̨̮͐͠ͅR̶̖̗̞̓͌Ė̸͖̩̳̈́͆D̸̡̪̈́A̸̪͛̃̇ͅͅC̷͙̰̖̆̄̎T̵̗͕́Ẽ̸̜̰͇Ḑ̶͎͇̌͗]̴̲̱͚̐ I’ll do anything for you!” As Pseudo-Flowey spoke those words, the glow around him changed from golden to d̸̳̝͊͑ͅä̶̳͕́r̷͕͍̤̆k̴̭̓ ̴͉̉̀ȑ̸̘̭̉͝ḙ̵͍̑d̸̡̫̈́̿ͅ as he fully f̶̥͕͘a̴͚̘͗́͋d̷͓̼́͊͝e̵͎͑͐d̵̳̲̂̈́̽.

“No more Pseudo-Flowey and Metal is out of commission,” Pope Bandana Dee noted. “Now, Earslayer, do what you do best.”

The Earslayer dashed forward with blinding speed, crashing into the much larger Mongolian Death Worm. The Earslayer produced a flesh-colored blade as it ran up the side of the Death Worm. The Death Worm tried to shake off the Earslayer without much effect.

The Alpha Timberwolf Pup howled. Grogar pointed at Pope Bandana Dee’s spear and said, “Fetch.” The Alpha Timberwolf Pup stared at him confused, then dashed out the door, never to be seen again.

A strange green aura flared to life around Toxa Knight as he charged Cain. Reverse-Flash re-engaged Shard in combat.

“Looks like it’s just you and me, goat boy,” Pope Bandana Dee taunted.

“If you call me a goat one more time I will kill you and everyone you love!” Grogar threatened.

“Jokes on you, I don’t have any loved ones.”

“... me neither.”

“You wanna talk about it?”

Grogar ended their very brief heart-to-heart with a magic blast to the face. Pope Bandana Dee stumbled backwards, barely holding on to his Pope hat and spear. “Let’s dance, goat boy!”

With one wave of his spear, Pope Bandana Dee changed the battlefield to vast green hills. With the grace of a hippopotamus having a stroke in a maternity ward and the delicacy of an elephant being dropped on Hiroshima, Emperor Grogar struck Pope Bandana Dee with the force of a squirrel falling at terminal velocity.

Pope Bandana Dee calmly stepped back as the Earslayer slammed the Death Worm to the ground between himself and Grogar. The Earslayer raised a venom sac above its head as a trophy of victory.

“Ear takes Worm,” Pope Bandana Dee said as he pointed his spear at Grogar. “Check.”

Grogar simply moved out of the way as a golden laser seared the ground where he was standing mere moments before. “You missed. I was two feet in front of you, how could you miss?”

“Well fuck you too,” Pope Bandana Dee replied. “Fuck you so hard that the author shall no longer put any effort into the rest of the chapter!” Pope Bandana Dee’s spear glowed bright white as light go big boom boom and eat everything.

Poison sword guy stab caveman. Yellow fast man punch robot man. Funny hat man slap goat man with pointy stick.

“Me not goat!” goat man screamed. Stick puppy come back and make hill go boom. Poison sword guy get hurt by boom.

Goat man gets mad. Goat man punches funny hat man in face. Big ear thing take sword and stab at goat man. Big ear thing miss goat man with sword.

Goat man take dead worm thing and hit poison sword guy. Funny hat man catch poison sword guy. Yellow fast man and caveman team up to punch big ear thing. Big ear thing stab yellow fast man. Yellow fast man punch big ear thing. Caveman grab big ear thing’s sword.

Caveman grab explody pineapple and throw it to make boom. Big ear thing get hurt by boom. Robot man slap yellow fast man in face with big shovel.

Goat man grab funny hat man’s pointy stick with magic. Funny hat man throw funny hat at goat man. Poison sword guy throw sword at goat man. Goat man take pointy stick and block sword.

“How this work?” goat man says. Funny hat man without funny hat screams as big light go boom boom again from the spear.

“Can we talk normally again?” Cain tested. “Oh, looks like we can.” Cain proceeded to punch the Earslayer in its non-existent face with a fully powered-up punch. A healthbar appeared in the air above the Earslayer. The healthbar dropped to zero and the Earslayer popped like a balloon.

That was surprisingly easy, Grogar thought. He and Cain turned towards Pope Bandana Dee

“That wasn’t the rest of the chapter,” Pope Bandana Dee complained as he swiped his nubby hand to the right, sending both Grogar and Cain flying in that direction. Toxa Knight slammed into both from the other side. The spear slipped from Grogar’s magical grip.

Reverse-Flash caught the spear before it hit the ground, but was immediately tackled by Pope Bandana Dee. Reverse-Flash summoned a blast of red lightning from the clear skies, but before the lightning hit, Pope Bandana Dee rolled out of the way, still holding onto the spear.

Grogar landed on his feet and dashed towards the struggle. Pope Bandana Dee summoned his hat from the other side of Reverse-Flash. When the hat reconnected with Pope Bandana Dee, his eyes glowed white. He rose into the air, spear still in his nubby hand. Toxa Knight flapped his wings and hovered next to him.

Reverse-Flash simply threw two bolts of lightning into the sky, knocking both of them out of the air. A spear made of pure energy manifested in front of Reverse-Flash, jamming itself into his knees.

“No more running for you,” Pope Bandana Dee panted, spear pointed at Reverse-Flash. The yellow speedster simply began crawling at breakneck speed.

“Give us the spear and we’ll call the fight off,” Grogar offered.

“How ‘bout you give me your bell and I’ll spare your life,” Pope Bandana Dee countered. In response, Grogar blasted Pope Bandana Dee with a blast of yellow magic from his horns.

Toxa Knight stopped Reverse-Flash just before he made it to Pope Bandana Dee. Grogar grasped the spear in his magic once more. Cain lit his fists up with blue flame and calmly stepped up to Pope Bandana Dee.

Pope Bandana Dee held tightly to his spear as he tried to step away. Grogar did not let go. Once Cain was in reach, he grabbed the spear and pulled.

Pope Bandana Dee lost his grip and Cain fell backwards. The spear flew out of Cain’s grip, but Grogar maintained his hold on it.

“Got it!” Grogar announced. “Let’s head out!”

As Grogar and Cain were busy celebrating their victory, neither noticed Toxa Knight flying towards them, sword outstretched.

“Checkmate,” Pope Bandana Dee laughed. Grogar turned towards Pope Bandana Dee, eyebrow cocked, then he saw Toxa Knight out of the corner of his eye. He prepared a special trap to capture Toxa Knight, but then Reverse-Flash ripped the energy spear out from his knees and impaled Toxa Knight before he could reach Grogar.

“You blundered into a mate in one,” Reverse-Flash said, twisting the spear in Toxa Knight’s body. Three more energy spears appeared above everyone’s heads.

“All of you will regret this one day,” Pope Bandana Dee ominously said. “Go home. I dare you.”

NightFlame returned to the scene of the crime. He turned the handle and pushed the door in. Inside, Nine bodies sat slumped in their chairs, one was lying on the floor in a fetal position, and two still living Overseers were watching each other from opposite sides of the table.

The Administrator closed the door upon entering. “Three, Nine, I see you two survived.”

“How is Three still alive?” NightFlame wondered aloud.

“Some say he is an absurdly human robot, but there is no way to tell,” the Administrator answered.

“Has he been waterproofed?”

“I don’t believe so.”

NightFlame grinned. He pulled a red button out of his pocket. Three’s eyes opened wide. “Sayonara, O5-3.” The glass floor beneath Three opened and dropped him into the mosasaur pit. One of the mosasaurs swallowed Three in one bite.

“Well done, Nine,” NightFlame said, clapping his hands. “You are now the sole survivor of the Overseer Council of the SCP Foundation, which means you have full power over everything that happens in the Foundation. You will give me full access to all of your MTFs, from Red Right Hand to Pandora’s Box. Do you accept?”

“Never,” Nine defiantly replied.

“Of course you’d say that,” NightFlame sighed. He walked around the table, picking up empty cups and unopened snack bags. “Maybe this will change your mind.” He pulled out a small, soft, yellow rabbit plush and placed it on the table. Nine recoiled in fear at the sight of the cuddly hellspawn. The Administrator quietly backed away.

Nine instinctively blocked her view with her arms. “Fine! You can have everything! Just put that- that thing back where it came from or so help me!”

“Good.” NightFlame put the cuddly hellspawn back in his pocket and stepped out of the room. The Administrator followed suit, leaving Nine alone surrounded by her dead colleagues.

A yellow portal opened in the main hall of the Eggman Empire Fortress. Out of the portal came Grogar, Cain, Reverse-Flash, and Metal Sonic. The moment all four were out, Metal Sonic turned on them.

“Of course Metal would betray us immediately,” Cain complained as Metal Sonic and Reverse-Flash attacked each other. It was only then they finally realized the chaos unfolding in the Fortress.

The Pony of Shadows, the Storm King, and Sombra were engaged in combat with several E-100 series robots. Chrysalis, Tirek, and Cozy Glow were surrounded by some of the Metal series. An Assault Model Death Egg Robot smashed through a section of the wall, dropping in several MTF soldiers with its fist.

“So Eggman backstabbed us, huh?”

Author's Note

I love the smell of tonal whiplash in the morning

What happened to Thirteen, or should I say, Joey Tamlin? Who is [̸̨̮͐͠ͅR̶̖̗̞̓͌Ė̸͖̩̳̈́͆D̸̡̪̈́A̸̪͛̃̇ͅͅC̷͙̰̖̆̄̎T̵̗͕́Ẽ̸̜̰͇Ḑ̶͎͇̌͗]̴̲̱͚̐? Why did Eggman backstab them? How does Cozy feel about being left in stone? Only one of those questions will be definitively answered in the next chapter

Calm Before the Storm

Author's Note

If you want to skip this chapter, feel free to. When I re-shuffle all of the In-Between scenes this entire chapter will cease to exist

Calm Before the Storm

Lucas and William stood at the edge of the Outback. While alone, they used their real names. When at NightFlame’s neutral ground meeting spot, they were Australian Drug Dealer and British, respectively. British almost had to change his name before the other guy named British came out as gay. Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on your perspective), Gay British had perished during the Scarlet King incident.

Lucas had met William some time after Woodrow Wilson’s invasion of Australia. Both were rightfully mad at Wilson for invading their homelands, but were absolutely pissed that he considered Australia, India, China, Russia, and Brazil “small countries”.

Together, they spread opium across the entire world, save for Romania for some reason.

They were at the edge of the desert because one of his goons had spotted an unidentified flying object in the general area. He had already spotted it at least twice, and it didn’t seem like it was landing anytime soon.

“I think we should just shoot it down,” William suggested. “That shall teach them for violating British-Australian aerospace.”

“Mate, our anti-air defense systems are in London dealing with the Knotzi bombers. The world is in a fuckin’ constant state of war, what with Wilson invading every country he sees and the Knotzi Empire in the bloody middle of Europe. Even Lars is at war with the Soviets.”

Lucas looked into the sky with his binoculars again. The UFO had returned. He shoved the binoculars into William’s hands and said, “Mate, look at this.”

William looked into the sky and saw the UFO, now identified as an alien spaceship, getting closer. “Oh my god, what is that?” he asked no one in particular.

“These are binoculars, you fool,” Lucas replied.

“I see, but what is that big metal thing in the sky?” he asked, pointing to the UFO with his free hand.

“I believe that to be an alien spaceship. You wanna shoot it down?”

“Sure,” William said, handing the binoculars back to Lucas. William pulled a comically sized rocket launcher out of his pants pocket and pointed it towards the spaceship.

The spaceship exploded. A tall gray alien ejected out of the cockpit and parachuted his way down to the ground. He made its way towards Lucas and William. When he arrived, he held his hand up and said, “Take me to your dealer.”

Fortnite stood in front of the rack that Dr. Eggman had told them to put all of their weapons on. His assault rifle hung alone, as Cain had taken his weapon when he left for the mission several hours ago.

He took his rifle off the rack. He recalled the First War where he fought alongside Backwards and Magical Douchebag.

He originally needed no coercion to join the DLMDBF. His oldest enemy, McFlap, was on the opposing team. It wasn’t until Void Creature revealed himself that he began to regret his decision. Most of the DLMDBF fighters were never made aware of Void Creature and his ultimate goal. He doubted even Magical Douchebag would be working with the DLMDBF if he was aware of Void Creature’s end game.

Normie didn’t participate in the fighting, but he was right there, supporting the DLMDBF. His oldest friend had been killed by Predator without any regard for what he could provide to the Alliance.

Though he could easily use his DLMDBF provided portal device to leave immediately, he decided he would have some fun. He entered the main lounge where Death Slug, Satanic Cultist, and Magical Douchebag were playing TF2. He announced his presence.

“Hey, guys, just so you know, I’m quitting. It’s nothing personal.”

“See ya around, chucklenuts,” Magical Douchebag replied. Fortnite turned around and headed towards the control room.

On his way, he passed Predator, who merely snorted and lashed his tail. Fortnite ignored him and continued on his way. Did Predator know what he was doing?

Upon entering the control room, Fortnite found Eggman along with a red spherical robot and a yellow cubical one. The yellow one, Cubot, somehow had gotten himself stuck in the trash. He cleared his throat.

“Doctor, can I speak with you for a moment?” Fortnite asked.

“Of course, I-never-bothered-to-learn-your-name-deal-with-it, what is it?”

“Have you ever heard of the tale of Void Creature? It’s not one Dark Lord would tell you.”

Eggman’s eyes focused on Fortnite. “Please do go on.”

“Void Creature is the one who Dark Lord serves. He is a demon from the Void Between Worlds, also known as the Endless Void. A few years ago, he waged a war in my home realm. The war devastated the entire universe. Do you know why he tried to enter my world?”

“Why did he?” Eggman asked, a wide creepy grin now on his face.

“He wanted to destroy it. He wants to destroy everything. He claims all of existence as rightfully his to destroy.” The grin vanished from the Doctor’s face. “No one even knows how he was defeated in the first place. None of the witnesses have said anything. Now, with your help, Dark Lord has been preparing for Void Creature’s return to this sector of the multiverse. You may do what you wish with that information.” Fortnite stood up and left.

Eggman checked the cameras. The Pony of Shadows had just returned and was in the main hall with the statue of the pegasus filly. The changeling queen cast some sort of magic on the statue and the little pegasus filly was freed.

The Doctor turned back to his command console. He typed in the override code: Hedgehog, Chaos, Angel, Sage, Ark, Badnik. All privileges he had granted to the Alliance were revoked. Once he pressed enter, all of the biological entities in the Fortress besides himself would be marked as intruders and exterminated.

He only had one thing left to do.

NightFlame, Loomis, and a few others looked over the table that projected a 3-D map of the Eggman Empire Fortress.

“My sources say they’re about to go through a pretty big civil war,” NightFlame said to the group. “Something about opposing ideologies that have never been mentioned in any of the previous ten chapters.”

Loomis continued, “Hammer Down will attack first, drawing fire from all of the Fortress’s defenses. NightFlame and I will lead a smaller strike team into the heart of the base. If we take the base of operations before the GOI―that means Goat of Interest―returns, then we capture the GOI and the BCOI―Bible Character of Interest―the moment they return.”

“If their mission failed, we simply capture them, no questions asked. If their mission succeeded, our objective becomes obtaining the spear, and then we capture them. If you got all that, say ‘Schaved Bauxlls’.”

“Why would we ever say that?” Nine asked.

“It’s because of that stupid friend of his that runs the Fake News Channel,” Loomis answered. “Who names their kid ‘shaved balls’ anyway?”

“I shaved my balls today!” exclaimed Lars unhelpfully from the other side of the table.

“Thank you for your input, Lars,” NightFlame said to the man wearing a bowl of soup on his head.

“I’ll be here all day, making from with the cheese,” Lars said incoherently.

“What is he saying?” Nine asked, not understanding a single word that came out of Lars’s mouth. She turned toward the Administrator, who simply shrugged.

“He said he’ll be making from with the cheese all day,” NightFlame explained unhelpfully. Nine placed her palm on her forehead,

“Schaved Bauxlls,” Lars said, slurping soup that spilled out of the bowl glued to his head.

“Lars is ready, so I should be too,” Loomis said. “Schaved Bauxlls.” He proceeded to put spaghetti in his notebook.

“Schaved Bauxlls,” everyone else said in unison.

“Schaved Bauxlls,” said Eggman from a video call that he just initiated. “Greetings, gentlemen. I, the great Doctor Eggman, am here to propose an alliance.”

Destiny

“What the hell happened here?” Cain asked as a bomb detonated down the hall.

“Welcome back, we’re under attack,” the Storm King replied. “Fortnite quit, that big rotten reptile guy left with the old man, that weird black girl just vanished with the heart and the mask, and now we’re stuck up poop creek without a paddle.” The Storm King blasted the flying E-108 with lightning, sending it crashing down on E-109. “Oh, and that weird pancake guy that was following that little slug dude around, he’s dead.”

“Did Eggman backstab us or did his systems get hacked?” Grogar asked.

“I don’t know, but some little girl’s voice called us intruders before the robots and soldiers started flooding in.”

“Lightning dude, bring the storm,” Grogar ordered. The Storm King obliged.

The Pony of Shadows impaled several of the soldiers that had just been brought in by the Death Egg Robot. He tossed their corpses aside then flew out on shadowy wings to face some of the larger mechs that had been activated.

Just then, a golden glow surrounded Grogar. He brought the spear in closer to himself as he vanished.

Cain turned his attention from the now-vanished Grogar to the soldiers that were now pouring through the Fortress. The soldiers were using armored egg pawns and Eggman and Grogar’s cyber-troggles as shields. Sombra’s stare sent several soldiers scattering in fear.

Cain dodged the machine gun fire from the Death Egg Robots outside. He ducked behind one of Sombra’s crystal spires. He noticed storm clouds gathering outside.

Just as he was about to jump out and brutalize some egg pawns, Dark Lord slammed Loomis through the floor into the ceiling. Loomis wriggled free from Dark Lord’s grip. He uppercutted Dark Lord through the ceiling into the floor above.

Cain breathed a sigh of relief. He gingerly stepped around the hole in the floor and glanced outside to see several GOC and SCP soldiers advancing towards Sombra and the Pony of Shadows. He ran headfirst into the machine gun fire, not caring to dodge. Then he fell two stories down to the ground.

He landed next to a soldier with the insignia of the Red Right Hand. The MTF soldier stared wide-eyed at Cain before remembering he had a gun. Before he could pull the gun on Cain, Cain grabbed him by the neck. He didn’t even get to scream. He turned his attention towards two soldiers with Nine-Tailed Fox insignias.

Before he even had the chance to attack them, two obsidian-edged swords pierced through the two soldiers. Behind them holding the swords was a lithe man, about seven feet tall, with long black hair, and strange red markings all across his body.

“Greetings, not-brother who killed my actual brother,” the man said with a voice that would have inspired terror in almost anyone other than who he was facing. “I hope you will provide a better challenge than everyone else I have faced today.”

“Is it honorable for you to fight a man with no weapon?” Cain asked. Able shrugged, then tossed him one of the obsidian swords he wielded.

The two clashed. Every time Able deflected one of Cain’s blows, he expertly weaved it into his next attack. Able was as quick as lightning, but Cain was far stronger. Both danced across the battlefield, dodging artillery fire and falling bombs.

The first lightning bolt struck a Death Egg Robot, causing it to fall over into one of the Fortress’s towers.

Their blades crossed paths. Cain knocked Able’s sword across the battlefield. The obsidian blade slid to a halt near a boulder.

His brief moment of confidence was shattered as Able seemingly pulled another sword out of thin air. This sword was black with a few red lines, and had a glowing red glass sphere embedded within the blade near the hilt. Able grinned as he charged forward, cutting through Cain’s sword like it was nothing. Cain dropped his weapon and raised his fists.

Able maintained his distance by jabbing with his sword whenever Cain got too close. No matter what Cain tried, he couldn’t get anywhere near Able, while Able seemed to be capable of slicing Cain from every angle. Cain tried augmenting his range with blue flame but even then he couldn’t get past Able’s sword.

Cain looked towards the sword that he knocked out of Able’s grip earlier. It wouldn’t stand a chance against Able’s current weapon. He needed to somehow outlast Able. He could augment his stamina with the life force he had stolen, while Able had to rely on his own reserves. But he was wasting too much energy healing from the wounds Able had inflicted. He needed a different plan.

Rolling out of the way of another attack, he noticed the corpse of the Red Right Hand soldier he had drained earlier. He still clutched his rifle in his limp hands. He ripped the rifle out of the soldier’s hands and turned it on Able.

“Guns are a coward’s weapon,” Able said, pointing his sword at Cain. “They do grant a nice range advantage, but who needs that when I have this sword?” Able pulled some sort of trigger mechanism on the handle of his blade. The glass sphere’s red glow became more intense, then it fired.

A blast of pure red energy. Cain barely managed to dodge out of the way, but it still grazed his arm. The wound did not heal. Able fired again. Cain took cover inside the Fortress behind a ruined wall.

The wall shattered. Bits of concrete and steel exploded in every direction. Cain managed to grab a piece of sharpened rebar, which he threw in the general direction of Able.

He risked a glance towards Able. The rebar had been sliced cleanly in half. Able noticed Cain and fired again. After Cain ducked, the sword’s glow died down. Cain watched as Able removed some sort of clip. He pointed his rifle at Able and fired.

Able barely reacted to the bullet lodging itself in his arm. He loaded in a new clip of energy cells, causing the sword to hum back to life. He grinned. Cain fired again, this time into Able’s chest. Able ignored the pain and continued towards him, blade scraping against the ground. Cain fired a few more times for good measure.

Once he was close, Able raised the sword above his head to slice Cain in half. Cain tackled Able before the sword could be brought down, causing Able to drop the blade. Cain grabbed Able by the neck with one hand and lifted him above the ground.

Instead of struggling, Able reached into his pocket dimension for a knife. He stabbed Cain in the abdomen, forcing him to let go. He jammed the knife through Cain’s foot into the ground. While Cain removed the knife from his foot, Able retrieved his special blade.

Cain turned around to see Able already pointing the sword at his face. Able grinned as he slashed at Cain’s face. Cain’s attempt to block the sword resulted in a cheek scar and three lost fingers on his left hand.

Cain dropped to the ground and crawled towards the obsidian blade on the ground. He grabbed it with his right hand. Just as Able brought his sword down, Cain rolled towards Able and stabbed him in the knees.

“I would say resistance is futile, but that seems a little cliche,” Able commented as he ripped the obsidian blade out from his knees and tossed it aside. He fired another burst at Cain, who blocked with his arm. The burst incinerated Cain’s entire arm. It too did not heal. “Looks like you’re all right now,” Able joked.

Cain raised his rifle to Able. Able sliced the gun cleanly in two. Cain cast the gun aside. He faked a left then dashed right. Able stumbled as he tried to follow.

Cain reached the two Nine-Tailed Fox operatives Able had stabbed earlier. He ripped a knife off the belt of one. He glanced towards Able, who was limping but still getting closer. Cain threw the knife like a dart towards Able.

Able parried the attack. The knife clattered to the ground harmlessly. Able fired another burst at Cain, but Cain avoided and moved in for another attack. Able’s sword once again lost its glow.

“Looks like I’m out of juice,” Able grumbled as he dropped the blade to the ground. As Able reached into his pocket dimension for a new weapon, Cain dropped low and tackled Able’s legs. Able fell over onto Cain’s back, then Cain threw him backwards and ran towards the obsidian sword still on the ground. Cain grabbed the intact sword and turned to face Able. Able already had another weapon ready.

Able attacked Cain again, his speed edge significantly dulled. Cain met Able’s swing with half the force as he had before, but it was more than enough. Able’s katana blade snapped. Before Able could reach for another weapon, Cain drove Able’s own obsidian sword through Able’s chest. Even as blood was trickling through his mouth, Able smiled.

“Wakey wakey, goat man.” Grogar remembered that voice. NightFlame. He almost forgot about him, but he would finally have his revenge. “Hand over the spear and I’ll let you live.”

He recalled what he learned from the Calebros Manuscript. All he had to do was give his own power to the Spear and will for it to do something. The more powerful the change, the longer it would take. For restructuring an entire universe, he either needed to learn Arabic or he could attempt to re-enchant the spear.

Six knives appeared out of nowhere and flew towards Grogar. He barely managed to put up a shield in time to stop them. He looked towards NightFlame and wished for him to be erased.

A wave of white magic burst forth from the Spear’s tip. The knives crumbled to dust, but when the wave passed over NightFlame, nothing happened.

“There are very few things that even Fate is scared of,” NightFlame said, stepping closer. “I’m the hero, you’re the villain. We both know how this will end.” NightFlame made a flicking motion, sending Grogar flying into the back wall.

“You’ve already had your victories. You escaped the Land of the Forgotten. You unleashed the Scarlet King. You escaped from Hell. But it’s the climax now, and it’s all coming crashing down.” NightFlame was now just in front of Grogar. “Loomis is already engaging Dark Lord as we speak. Backwards and Magical Douchebag have been captured. Impostor and Predator have been cornered. Your alliance has come to an end.”

Grogar felt fear radiating from inside NightFlame’s pocket. “Do you feel that? That’s the concept of fear itself, right inside my pocket! There’s nothing you can do to me!”

“You bitch-ass motherfucker,” Grogar growled.

“Give in to your hate, and your journey to the dark side shall be- wait, what am I doing? You’re already on the dark side.”

“I will ki-” NightFlame interrupted Grogar with a kick to the face. He reached for the Spear. Grogar quickly recovered and pushed NightFlame back with his magic.

“I haven’t had this much fun since Woodrow Wilson restarted the Vietnam War with a butt plug!” NightFlame exclaimed, shooting blasts of pure energy from his fists. Grogar ducked underneath the blasts, leaving a gaping hole in the wall behind him.

Using his own magic reserves, Grogar teleported his entire group of loyal, fully-biological troggles to him. John, Fred, Styx, Jeremy, Phillip, Billy, Karl, Joey, and Yamcha Jr. all saluted, then assumed battle stances against NightFlame. Grogar then concentrated purely on the spear, leaving the troggles to face NightFlame by themselves.

John immediately fired his gun at NightFlame. The bullets stopped just short of hitting him. NightFlame made a flicking motion and sent John flying through the hole in the wall.

Fred used his pipe as a bludgeoning weapon against NightFlame. NightFlame caught the pipe and wrenched it from Fred’s control, then smashed Fred’s head in.

Billy attacked next. As Billy brought his club down, NightFlame raised Fred’s pipe and blocked it, but this left a sizable dent in the pipe. NightFlame cast the pipe aside, hitting Jeremy and causing him to drop his axe. He grabbed Billy by the nose and swung him around, impaling him on the charging Styx’s sword.

Jeremy threw three blocks of wood towards NightFlame. Jeremy picked up his axe and swung it downward to cleave NightFlame’s head in two, but NightFlame caught the axe and used it to swing Jeremy around. When he let go, Jeremy was sent flying through the same hole John had flown through.

While Styx was removing Billy bits from his sword, Bob fired his bazooka at NightFlame. NightFlame redirected the attack towards the hole in the wall. It exploded just as John tried to pull himself up. Bob tried to reload, but was interrupted by Phillip’s knife flying out of Phillip’s grip and into his eyes. Bob’s bazooka fell to the ground and rolled out the hole in the wall.

Joey threw his boomerang at NightFlame, who ducked out of the way. Joey grinned, but then NightFlame ducked again on the boomerang’s return journey and hit Jeremy as he was pulling himself up. Jeremy lost his grip and fell.

Between the five remaining troggles, there were only three weapons to go around. Realizing this, Karl snapped his scissors in two and gave one half to Joey. This only served to make things worse for them, as NightFlame then levitated each of their weapons in the air and stabbed them all. The only survivor was Styx, who had used Yamcha Jr. as a meat shield against his iron blade.

The cold winds blew from the hole in the wall. Rain poured in, forming a small layer of water on the floor. Lightning struck a Death Egg Robot outside, causing it to fall right into the tower.

Grogar grabbed Styx and the Spear with his magic and leaped out onto the Death Egg Robot’s body. He was almost ready. Just a few more minutes and Equestria would be his.

His train of thought was interrupted by some water hitting him in the back of the head at high speeds. He lost his grip on both Styx and the Spear. He managed to grab the Spear before it fell out of range, ignoring Styx entirely. He turned around to see NightFlame, water flowing in several rings around him.

The Death Egg Robot crashed into the ground. Grogar lost his footing and fell off. When he stood up, NightFlame was already in front of him. A blast of water hit him in the neck, just barely missing the Bell.

With the confidence of a salamander on football sunday, Grogar attacked NightFlame again, dropping all the water to the ground. Using NightFlame as a launch pad, Grogar leaped for the Fortress.

Maintaining his focus on the Spear, he climbed up the side of the Fortress. Thankfully, most of the Death Egg Robot fire was concentrated on the break room Eggman had given to them. Why he didn’t just plant bombs and detonate them while everyone was inside, no one knew.

Just before he managed to climb into the massive hole in the wall, Rainbow Dash tackled him. Grogar rolled and tossed Rainbow Dash into a wall. She landed on the floor and remained motionless.

“You’re late,” Sombra said, motioning to the nearly empty room. All that remained were a few scattered metal pieces here and there.

“What did you do?” Grogar asked. He glanced over to Rainbow Dash. Still motionless.

“Mind control,” Sombra explained.

Just then, NightFlame flew through the hole in the wall, hitting Sombra in the face with a boulder. Sombra recoiled, then transformed into shadow.

“Deius Shittus!” Magical Douchebag called from the hallway.

NightFlame facepalmed. “Wrong spell, dumbass.”

Magical Douchebag stepped into the room, baseball bat pointed towards NightFlame. He took two more steps. He coughed. Brown liquid came out of his mouth. “Whoops,” he whispered as he collapsed to the ground.

“Well, boy, it’s the end of the line for you.” Backwards carefully stepped over Magical Douchebag’s body and pointed a gun to his head.

“How about no,” NightFlame replied as he stabbed himself in the chest. Backwards stumbled. He looked down. A fresh knife wound had opened up in the same spot NightFlame stabbed himself.

“How did you-” Backwards tried to say as he fell face first onto the floor.

NightFlame looked back towards Grogar. He was gone, and so were Sombra and Rainbow Dash. He stepped over and looked down the hallway.

Satanic Cultist had a few egg pawns levitated above him in his grip. With one motion, he crushed them into scrap metal. Death Slug crawled over each piece of scrap metal, consuming them for some purpose. He had noticeably gained a metallic sheen and a few small armored plates.

Two SCP soldiers with the emblem of Epsilon-9 on their shoulders turned the corner to blast Satanic Cultist with fire. About thirty seconds later, NightFlame interrupted their flame-fest.

“You can stop now, I think he’s dead,” NightFlame said. The two Fire Eaters turned off their flamethrowers. Where Satanic Cultist once stood now was a charred skeleton sprawled on the ground.

A floating plate of pancakes tried to make contact with Satanic Cultist’s charred remains, but exploded into batter before they could. Much of the pancake batter landed on Death Slug. The two SCP soldiers opened fire again on Death Slug. NightFlame shrugged and moved past them.

He passed an air vent that opened to reveal a three-foot tall red jelly bean with a knife. NightFlame stared directly into Impostor’s visor, blinked, then walked away. Impostor retreated back into the air vent.

Meanwhile, Grogar, Sombra, the Pony of Shadows, the Storm King, Queen Chrysalis, Lord Tirek, and Cozy Glow stood in awkward silence together in the summoning room. Their silence was interrupted by turrets popping out of the walls and opening fire. Shadow tendrils shot out in every direction, destroying all of the turrets.

NightFlame entered the summoning room with the two Epsilon-9 soldiers by his side. “Hands in the air, bitches,” he ordered. Tirek and the Storm King slowly raised their hands in the air.

“Question,” Cozy Glow said, “What if we don’t have hands?”

“Then you suck it up and deal with it,” NightFlame replied. They stood in silence for three seconds. “Why hasn’t anyone opened fire yet?” he wondered.

“Oh yeah, we’ll get right on that,” one of the soldiers said just before Sombra hit him in the balls with a crystal spike bursting out of the ground.

“We’re all gonna die!” the other soldier screamed as he ran away.

“Why do I even bother,” NightFlame sighed. “You can all go do whatever now. I’m done here.” Before NightFlame left the room, however, the air vent at the top of the room opened and Impostor dropped out.

“Die,” Impostor said in a comically high-pitched voice. “Shit, voicecrack-”

“I’d rather not,” NightFlame interrupted. In one swift motion, he pulled a small yellow rabbit peep out of his pocket and threw it at Impostor. Impostor’s mouth opened, then he was vaporized by the red glowing aura of the cuddly hellspawn. The yellow peep returned to NightFlame’s hand. He stowed it away back in his pocket. “Have fun.” He turned around to leave.

“Were you not just trying to take the Spear from me to keep me from using it to change reality to whatever I see fit?” Grogar asked, stopping NightFlame mid-step.

“Deceive the heavens and cross the oceans,” NightFlame unhelpfully replied. He stepped out of the room and turned the corner. Several explosions could be heard as NightFlame shouted commands at some people.

Grogar shrugged, then the seven villains of Equestria took their positions around the circle, the Spear floating above the center.

Cain dropped the fifteenth body to the ground. No matter how much life force he stole from these soldiers, his arm just would not regenerate. On the plus side, he had enough power to fight a Death Egg Robot by himself.

As he scanned the battlefield for another soldier to kill, he realized that everyone was retreating. Tanks, fighter jets, and armored vehicles had all turned around, soldiers were hopping onto helicopters to evacuate, and even Loomis had ditched Dark Lord in a ditch. Looking around, only the egg pawns, Death Egg Robots, and mecha-troggles were still active.

Just then, a wave of white emanated from the tower that contained the summoning room. As it washed over the battlefield, the forces of the Eggman Empire deactivated. The cybernetic enhancements of the mecha-troggles turned to dust. The combined forces of the SCP Foundation, the Global Occult Coalition, and whatever organization NightFlame claimed to have all vanished.

The Fortress also repaired itself from all of the damage it took. Dark Lord dusted himself off, then flew in through an open window.

Cain made his way back into the Fortress. He took an elevator to the control room. Inside, there was a yellow sticky note. Most of the note was filled with unintelligible scribbles, but there were a few choice words insulting each and every member of the Alliance, including some Cain didn’t even know existed, such as Lord Tirek, Queen Chrysalis, the Golden Queen, Time King Endymion, and Grimkahn.

Cain turned to the command console. He instinctively knew exactly how to override Eggman’s authority in this particular Fortress, despite never having used technology before in his entire life. Soon, he was in command of everything in the Fortress. The last thing he did before leaving was deactivating the on-site nuclear warhead.

He absent-mindedly made his way to the meeting room. The survivors of the assault were already seated in a circle on discarded egg pawns. In the center lay the unconscious body of Rainbow Dash. Cain sat down between Grogar and Predator and across from Reverse-Flash.

“Did we win? Cause it doesn’t feel like we won,” Magical Douchebag said.

“I’d rather we wait for everyone before we begin talks of this alliance that went to shit before I even joined,” Tirek suggested.

“Dude, Impostor, Backwards, Pancake, Satanic Cultist, and Death Slug are all dead, this is all of us.”

Grogar grinned. It was only then Cain realized that the villains of Equestria were the largest faction within their Alliance, and most of their numbers now came from Grogar’s troggle army. “Looks like I’m in charge now,” he said.

Within a small crack in the floor, a golden flower sprouted. The flower then said, “Hello, Eobard, Grogar, and Cain! I’m sure you three remember me, right? The False Flowey the Flower? The Faker? Pseudo-Flowey?”

“What do you want with us?” Magical Douchebag asked, just a little bit of hostility showing through his voice.

“Oh, my master [REDACTED] just wishes you good luck on your little mission and hopes that no hard feelings are felt when this team inevitably starts backstabbing each other to oblivion because of your conflicting goals despite your collective shared enemies! See ya!” Just as quickly as he appeared, Pseudo-Flowey vanished into the ground.

“What,” Predator muttered.

"What do we do about her?" Strykore said, gesturing to the pegasus on the floor.

"Doesn't seem very heroic to leave someone behind," said Magical Douchebag. "Maybe we should-"

"I call dibs," Cain interrupted.

NightFlame placed the cuddly hellspawn on Loomis's desk next to the potted cactus. Loomis tapped his pencil on the open page of his notebook, then closed the notebook and placed it on the desk. He clasped his hands together and looked up at NightFlame.

"It's time we begin the next phase of our plan."

Author's Note

Death count comes out to 193 on-screen/mentioned deaths plus several billion in chapter 8 and an untold number of SCP and GOC soldiers that died this chapter

Epilogue comes out a few seconds after this chapter is published

Epilogue

The Shark Punching Center (Shark Wars: Razor’s Edge)

“God damnit, Harold!” Michael slammed his fists on his desk. “This selachian menace has gone too far! I thought we’d be done with this by now! New world, new start, but nooo, the sharks have to be everywhere. We can’t even punch them because now they can punch back!” Michael placed his hand on his forehead. “We harpoon the first shark we see, and then it somehow comes back to life.”

“At least the Sharkic cults died with the last universe,” Harold said.

“That’s barely any consolation considering in the last world, selachians never built entire empires and waged war on humanity.”

“Mr. Michael Michaelson and Harold Krakerjak, if I may,” said a voice from the doorway to Michael’s office.

“What is it, Melvin?” Michael sighed. Melvin Nelson was a hard worker, but suffered from sleep deprivation.

“The Foundation detected several strange surges of energy across the world, and some line up more with other worlds, especially the ones that the Foundation has had to deal with in the past. This is way out of our league.”

“Fine. Harold, Melvin, call everyone here, from Harley to William. We’re gonna need all the help we can get.”

The Ocean Queen (Shark Wars: Razor’s Edge)

The water shimmered a brilliant blue in the Sparkle Blue, the life after death. One of its newest residents, Takiza the betta, was lost in his thoughts.

He had noticed the evilest residents vanishing from the Sparkle Blue. According to the legends his former shiro, Hokuu, had taught him, it was possible for someone particularly skilled in Shar-kata to escape the Sparkle Blue. Could Hokuu be behind this?

The humans spoke of a man named Adolf Hitler who started a global war because he believed his group of humans, the Germans, were the greatest humans of all time and deserved to rule the world. The similarities Hitler had with Hokuu were not lost on Takiza.

Without even realizing it, Takiza had bumped into a massive frilled shark, nearly thirty feet long. “Hokuu?” he realized.

“Hello, nulo,” Hokuu said with a grin. “A worthless piece of nothing as always, aren’t you?”

“Do you wish to find out if there is yet another life after your second death?” Takiza replied.

Hokuu growled, then launched forward, jaws opened wide. Takiza hit Hokuu between the eyes with one of his frilly fins, and suddenly Hokuu was gone.

He noticed something behind where Hokuu was. A long line of sharks waiting in line. A glowing blue portal in front of the line. He saw Finnivus, Grimkahn, and many of the greatest terrors sharkkind had to offer. His eyes widened in horror.

This was the portal from the Sparkle Blue to the Big Blue, and he had just sent Hokuu, the greatest threat to the Big Blue since Empress Silander, straight through it.

Queen Novo awoke in a cold sweat. Was it just a dream? She couldn’t tell. Takiza, her old friend, had apparently died, and so had his old shiro Hokuu. If the dream was prophetic like many of Celestia’s were, then she had to find a way to help them.

She climbed out of bed, stepped out onto the balcony, and took off, gliding towards the ocean. Before she knew it, she had already made it to the Seaquestria throne room. Faster than a wahoo, she exited the palace and made her way towards the coral reef situated just outside Seaquestria’s borders.

Some seaponies were still awake at this time of night. One tried to ask her what she was doing, but she sped past before he could finish his sentence.

She finally reached the reef. A few dwellers poked their heads out in response to Novo’s presence. She swam past them towards a ring made entirely of pink coral at the center. Inside the ring was a familiar blue portal. The portal to Fathomir was open once more.

She placed one fin on the edge of the portal. “Kaleth, Takiza, I’m coming.”

The Chaos Lord (Equestria’s End)

Discord floated across Chaosville, only stopping to be sniffed by passing flowers. He paused in front of a glowing golden portal that he swore wasn’t there twelve seconds ago.

Out of the portal stepped NightFlame. Discord grinned with glee. “How is my favorite not-kirin doing this fine evening? Tell me, are you here to spend time with yours truly?”

NightFlame pushed Discord’s paw away from his face. “Remember what I told you when we first met, the part you would play when the time came?” Discord’s grin vanished. He leaned back into an armchair he conjured at that very moment.

“I see. Is it time?”

NightFlame nodded.

The Black Rose (Aeon Legion: Starlight)

Kairos woke up to the sound of her singularity AI informing her of a new development in time. Ever since she created Pandora, the AI had been the only form of companionship she had. Sometimes she wondered if it was a mistake to leave behind the only person who ever truly cared about her.

“Pandora, what is it?” she asked.

Pandora’s artificial female voice came from the shieldwatch she wore on her arm, “A new set of continuums have been registered in the Legion’s database. Would you like me to observe the history of these new continuums and list every temporal criminal sorted by how much damage they caused?”

“Yes, that would be great,” Kairos replied.

While Pandora was compiling data, Kairos recalled the events and people that had brought her to this moment. Alya Silverwind, her mentor, the first to see her potential. Lycus, the headmaster of Aevum Academy, who forged her into a hero. Ophion, the mad time king, who had warned her of impending doom. And Terra, Alya’s new squire.

She didn’t hate Terra. Hate was for villains. She wasn’t a villain. At least she hoped she wasn’t.

It wasn’t hard to see how she could be perceived as one. She did kill Lycus, after all. But everything she did was to save Time. Why couldn’t Alya see? She had to kill the worst offenders. She had to save Saturn City from themselves. She had to return the time stolen by the Legendary Blades and other time travelers.

“I have compiled the list,” Pandora said, interrupting Kairos’s thoughts.

“Thank you,” Kairos said. She tapped on her shieldwatch’s holoface, bringing up a list of names. At the top of the list was Starlight Glimmer.

Author's Note

This was basically a set of teasers for all three sequels: Shark Wars: Razor's Edge, Equestria's End, Aeon Legion: Starlight

If you're reading this immediately following Worlds of Destiny ending, two of those three aren't actual proper sequels and one isn't even available to read yet