Don't Bet On Ocellus Related Topics

by Neotheater

Rating: teen
Tags: Ocellus, Comedy, Sex, Profanity, Random, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Young Six
Length: 2367

The gang asks a few questions, and receive answers they'd never imagined to get.

The gang asks a few questions, and receive answers they'd never imagined to get.

They're also a little more scared of Ocellus now, so that's cool too!

Published 2021-02-13 20:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2021-02-13 20:30:01 UTC

Are You In A Position To Receive Information That Could Potentially Harm You?

In the two years that Ocellus had lived in Ponyville, attending the School of Friendship, she'd come to realize three things.

The first being that reading books unrelated to how to assume the identities of ponyfolk successfully was a delightful pastime to indulge in. She could lose herself for hours in a good read. The second thing was that her friends tended to interrupt her reading, whether it be intentional or not, a petty argument or an odd question pulling her back into reality. And lastly, the third and most important of realizations: Ocellus' friends were idiots.

Like, seriously fucking stupid.

The light blue changeling blinked as Smolder and Gallus stared at her in anticipation. "I'm sorry, what?"

"Can changelings eat meat," Gallus repeated, not even an ounce of regret in his voice.

Oh my Celestia, does one of them genuinely think—

Ocellus reluctantly shut her book, knowing that as long as the five other creatures in this room were sapient, she wouldn't be finishing that chapter anytime soon.

"No. Why would you even—no. Changelings are insect hybrids. Can a mosquito eat meat?"

"Well, no–"

"Exactly. There's your answer. No, I cannot eat meat."

"Okay but mosquitoes drink blood. Can you—"

"No."

"I knew it!" Smolder held out her palm expectantly, and the griffon at her side begrudgingly dropped a few bits into it.

"Well, I know that you all have borderline gambling addictions, so what other outrageous inquiries do you have for me?"

Sandbar's hoof shot into the air. "I wouldn't say my question is outrageous, but I'll join in the fun," he said. "What's the weirdest thing you've had to do while undercover?"

"Lick mud off someone's hooves. Next question."

"You did what?"

"Did Yona hear changeling friend correctly or—"

"Why—"

"Can we get some context?"

"Ocellus, do you have a hoof f—"

"Gallus, finish that sentence and I'll make sure that Smolder makes your life a living hell," Ocellus said, face completely stoic.

"I don't see how that's any different than the norm, but I'll take your word for it."

"See, Gallus? I knew it couldn't have been a federal crime like you said! Pay up."

Once again, Gallus gave away a small chunk of his savings, this time to Sandbar, being on the losing side of another mindless bet.

"Can we get some context," Silverstream repeated, still not processing what she'd heard.

"No."

"Yona go next," The yak said, who in contrast to Silverstream, had already moved on from the topic. Whether it be the fact that Yona didn't care, or that she was trying to ignore that she'd heard it, Ocellus was unsure. "Can changeling predict who will end up with who using emotion-reading ability?"

Ocellus placed her hoof beneath her jaw, thinking through the question. "Yes. I can tell what you're all feeling, obviously, but I can also tell how relationships will form and change, as well as how long it'll last. I feel like that's no fun though, it's way funnier to watch you all freak out. I can tell you who's attracted to who, though."

"Ooo, Yona will accept that!"

Every other creature in the room froze and silently cursed Yona. You didn't have to be a changeling to read their emotions. It was amusing.

"I will pay you to leave my name out of this," Gallus begged, clasping his talons together.

"Sorry—actually not really because I can't stand you—no one is exempt," she responded, petting his head with mock affection. "Let's start counter clockwise. Silverstream, you think Gallus and I are both attractive. Yona thinks none of us are attractive. Sandbar thinks Gallus is attractive. Smolder—"

The orange dragon leaned in, leaving a few inches between her and the changeling's face, then exhaled smoke from her nostrils, causing Ocellus to cough and pause.

"I'll kill you. I'll kill you right here, right now."

"Let's do it smoky, I know the law," Ocellus challenged, leaning in as well.

Smolder growled but refused to stand down. "You find Gallus, Silverstream and I attractive," the bug smiled devilishly. "And Gallus finds everybody in this room attractive."

"Really, Yona? Nobody? And Gallus...everybody??"

"Okay, not questioning your judgement, guys, I'm the cutest griffon on campus—"

"You're the only griffon on campus," Sandbar stated.

"Exactly. Therefore, the cutest one on campus. Anyway, why me?"

Silver shrugged nonchalantly. "You tend to find the creature you accidentally legally agreed to marry in the distant—okay incredibly near—future for the sake of binding two nations together attractive, I guess," she said. Before Gallus could respond, she switched gears at lightning speed. "Sandbar, what's your excuse?"

"I'm sorry, what," Gallus squawked, brain catching up at last. "What the fuck, Silverstream?"

They ignored him.

"Yeah," Ocellus said. "What's up with everyone's attraction to Gallus?" She put on her sweetest smile. "Full offense, by the way."

Gallus rolled his eyes at Ocellus' playful yet mean-spirited banter. "Whatever." He then turned to the young stallion. "I didn't even think your door swung that way."

"You're kidding, right?" Sandbar's voice dropped a little, signifying his disbelief.

"Gallus has the worst gaydar I've ever seen, so I wouldn't put it past him," Ocellus said, significantly less surprised than her friend.

"Hey!"

"It's true though! To say you saw Sandbar in a gay bar would be like saying you saw a fork in the kitchen. Not unusual or surprising."

"No, really, Cel has a point. Not one of us is straight, how'd you manage to swing that?"

"You don't get to judge me, you're biologically geared to know someone's sexuality, and you back her up blindly," Gallus said, looking at Ocellus and then nodding to Smolder.

"Oh, really? Okay. If you knew Sandbar wasn't straight in the first two weeks of our friendship—without asking him for confirmation or using a genetic advantage—raise your hoof, talon, claw, etcetera."

Smolder, Ocellus, Yona and Silverstream shot their respective parts in the air, while staring pointedly at Gallus. "As I thought. Anyway, Sandbar, please explain your attraction to Gallus."

The green pony shrugged as well, not putting much thought into his answer. "He's funny, but his jokes never breach sarcasm, unlike most of you, he's just the right amount of stupid, and he rolls weed pretty well for someone with sharp talons," he smiled.

"Of course you would find that attractive, you damn stoner," Smolder scoffed. "His ability to help you get high off your flank doesn't make him attractive."

Sandbar raised a brow at her. "Need I remind you that you also find Gallus attractive?"

This quickly got the dragoness to shut her mouth, puffing smoke out again.

"So why do you find me attractive?"

"Your stupid personality and the fact that you're just as emotionally damaged as me. Sure, you're a whiny little crybaby about it, but—"

"Not all of us are emotionally inept, Smolder."

"Will you shut up and let me compliment you?"

"You consider that a compliment?"

"Yes, you touch starved, overly emotional—"

"If these are compliments, I would love to hear what an insult sounds like."

"You know what, dumbass?"

"I'm listening, shitface."

"You're impossible."

"Likewise, fire-breath."

The two were in an insanely close proximity of each other, beak and muzzle against each other.

"Yona could cut this sexual tension with knife," Yona interrupted, causing the pair to break apart.

"Great, so now we know that Smolder is attracted to creatures who are just as mentally unstable as she is," Ocellus said, choosing to take the small moment of silence to speak. She turned to her draconic friend and placed a hoof on her shoulder. "One day, you will find someone completely insane, and you two will develop a lovely toxic codependent relationship."

"I can't tell if you're being mean or genuinely cautioning me."

"I know."

"It's horrifying."

"I know."

"Also, I don't care what anyone says—you totally suck."

"I know," Ocellus grinned. The five other creatures in the room were the only ones who were aware that despite her love for studying and desire to avoid trouble, Ocellus was far from Innocent, and even further from the title of 'nicest in the group'.

"And in my defense, I don't just like him because he needs several years of therapy," Smolder huffed, rolling her eyes. "His chest feathers are a perk."

"I have chest feathers," Silverstream interjected. "Is that why you're attracted to me?"

"Actually, it's your unwavering kindness and contagious excitement. Again, chest feathers are a bonus."

"Aw, Smolder, that's actually very heartwarming, especially coming from you! Unless it was sarcastic. If it was sarcastic, then I hate you."

"It was not."

"Oh. Great!"

"Okay, next question."

"Huh? You didn't ask anyone else why they find each other attractive."

"Well, even though you all annoy me to no end, I wouldn't want you to die due to Smolder's wrath because you complimented one of her few good qualities, I'm a changeling, therefore making me almost universally attractive, Sandbar is too high to care about anyone's opinion, and honestly that's probably what makes him attractive. I don't think Gallus wants to compliment Silverstream considering she's thrown both of them into an arranged marriage, and whatever he has to say about Yona is downright offensive."

"Yeah, sounds about right."

"Uh-huh."

"Somehow, Yona knows the word 'thighs' will come up."

"Again, Silverstream, what the fuck—"

"To be fair, I thought it was a joke."

"How did you think suggesting they find you a suitor from Griffonstone was a joke? I was gonna be the first option!"

"Moving on," Smolder intervened. "Ocellus, what's your deepest, darkest secret?" The dragon eyed the other four entities in the room. They all had their own guesses, and if none of them were right, all the money went to Silverstream. Which is really fucked up by the way. I mean, she's literally the richest one out of us! The rich keep getting richer, and the poor are staying poor because they're giving all their money to—

"Probably that my mom and dad are actually my aunt and uncle, and I'm a direct descendant of Chrysalis."

Every creature stilled. The room was silent, you could hear a pin drop.

Or in this case, the sound of gold landing in Silverstream's grasp.

"Or maybe that I hate Silverstream's cupcakes and only continue to eat them to make her happy. One or the other."

The hippogriff looked up, ceasing the counting of her winnings and then frowned.

"You don't like my cupcakes?"

"You're Chrysalis' daughter?"

Ocellus nodded, and then tossed an apologetic pout at Silverstream. She forgave her instantly—she always did.

"I feel like you're really downplaying just how insane what you just said really is," Sandbar said.

"No, I think Silverstream understands that I'm just trying to be a good—"

"About Chrysalis," Gallus corrected, enunciating in an annoyed manner. "You're downplaying the news you just dropped about being related to Chrysalis."

"Oh. Right. I mean, it's no big deal. It just means that if Thorax or Pharynx die, and don't have any children, I'm first in line for the throne. But I don't think Ember would let Thorax die. Like, I'm pretty sure she would slap him on his deathbed."

The other creatures nodded in agreement. "Is that why turning into her was your worst fear?"

"Yeah...but being the daughter of the one of the worst villains to ever live has it's redeeming qualities! I can read minds, and order people to do what I want!"

"Y-You can read minds?"

"I don't believe you. What am I thinking right now?"

"Well, you were thinking about classism and the unfair laws we live under, but now you're thinking about Gallus' butt."

Smolder's face grew hot. She really didn't think Ocellus was being serious.

Gallus smirked in silence, ego growing a sizable amount.

"Wait, you can order people to do your bidding?"

"Yeah! How do you think I got our acting-parental figures to let us stay at this school? With the exception of Grandpa Gruff, of course. He's an ass. No offense, Gallus"

"Nah, you're right."

"How do you do it? Is it like, telepathic or…" Silverstream cocked her head to the left as she asked.

"Well, I usually just ask, and put on my softest face. I can also be seductive, though. I'll show you."

Ocellus approached Silverstream, and leaned in, her mouth at Silverstream's ear. "Stop eating my food. If I ever catch you disobeying this order, I'll make sure you never walk again, love."

The comment was whispered, but it felt deafeningly loud as Silverstream's wings shot out at her sides, and the remnants of a quesadilla fell out of her beak and back onto a plate. She immediately threw it away.

"Thank you," Ocellus said as she pulled away, her tone reverting back to it's sweet, deceitful manner.

Every creature stared as Ocellus trotted back to her bed, jumping onto the mattress.

"What...what the fuck?"

"I..I…"

"Probably not the best time to say this, but that was kinda hot."

"You have enough power to manipulate anyone, but instead you use it to get Silver to stop taking stuff out of your mini fridge?"

"Yes, because I have morals. What, would you rather I use it on you?" She leaned in towards Gallus, stroking the side of his face. In a desperate attempt to not be in the same position as the hippogriff, he quickly flew backwards. "NO. NO."

"So let Yona get this straight," the yak blinked, staring at Ocellus. "Changeling can predict future, detect attraction, read and control mind—"

"Don't forget that she's second in line for the throne if Thorax croaks," Sandbar added.

"—and sense sexual preference."

"Yes."

"So you can do all this, but not eat meat or drink blood?"

Ocellus smiled.

"Gallus, get the fuck out of my room."

Author's Note

i can't explain what this is or why it happened. that being said, i played around with ocellus' characterization, and made her an incredibly apathetic bitch, because i love to corrupt innocent characters. it's my favorite pastime, and i love 'i hate all of you but i'm stuck with you because i also hate how much i love you,' ocellus.