Mind's Eye

For the fourth session, Diamond once again spoke to Anvil alone. The older woman instantly recognized an unexpected change in the girl's demeanor.

"Is everything all right," she questioned, "You look exhausted."

"I guess I'm just tired. School and research is taking up most of my time."

"Don't run yourself ragged. There's time to figure things out."

"It's hard when you know lives are on the line."

"I know, but there's a reason it's referred to as the line of control. You're at odds with an insidious enemy you can't see. You need to focus on preserving your energy for the long haul. It won't do us any good if you keel over."

"What else can I do?"

"You can trust in us."

Diamond looked the therapist in the eyes. Anvil nodded.

"...Okay. I'll get some sleep when I get home."

"Sounds like a plan. Anyhow, is there anything you want to talk about today?"

"Yeah. I want to talk about last time."

"Please, go on."

"You knew I was talking about Sunset, didn't you?"

"I had an idea."

"...Am I bad person for feeling this way?"

"Of course not. Why would you think that?"

"There's a lot of stuff out there about adults being attracted to kids: pedophile stories and stuff, but there's not much about when the situation is reversed. From what I could find, everyone just kind of writes it off as cute and innocent."

"She was your guide and protector when you were feeling lost. It's completely natural to develop feelings for someone who shows genuine care and concern."

"Really?"

"Absolutely. There's one thing that does concern me, though?"

"What?"

"There seems to be a bit of emotional codependence."

"Codependence?"

"People seeking love often fall into the trap of believing one person can fulfill all of their emotional needs. You need to think about other people: friends and family who've also shown those qualities. Perhaps more importantly, you need to think about how you can show them to yourself."

"So I need a healthy balance?"

"You nailed it. Codependence can cause relationship strain in the long run. Expanding your social network and taking care of yourself go a long way toward preventing this."

"I kind of get it."

"One more thing. Should you choose to pursue a relationship in the future, you should know people generally prefer partners who are spontaneous. In other words, they enjoy unexpected surprises. It's not only about the quantity of time spent, but the quality."

"I understand."

"If it puts your mind at ease, you've already made substantial progress by owning up to your mistakes, and you did it without Sunset or I's help. Your change in behavior is a testament to your true potential."

"Yeah. That actually makes me feel a lot better."

"Anything else?"

"What do I do if she starts cutting again?"

"That's a good question, and a profound one. Generally, when a depressed individual self-harms, they're in a great deal of emotional pain. It took some time to figure out the connection, but the blood loss itself turned out to be the key. Blood carries neurotransmitters through the body. Because less chemicals reach the brain the more blood is released, it temporarily reduces emotional pain to more tolerable levels. Sometimes it's not the lack of chemicals causing the issue, but an overabundance. Still, even with that explanation, knowing what to do can be tricky. Getting the weapon away is one option, but this can have unintended consequences. The best thing I can think to do is remain calm and listen: not talk, listen. If she trusts you, she'll tell you how she feels."

"Thank you."

"Any time."

"By the way, we found a connection between physical illness and depression you might find interesting. In the short-term, the body's focus on infection can alleviate psychological symptoms. I don't think this applies to everyone, though, and it doesn't work for terminal conditions.. We made a report for you to read over."

"Excellent. I'll read it tonight."

"I guess I should get going. Later."

"Hold on. Have you tried the Tylenol trick yet?"

"Not yet. We're waiting to test it until we really need to try something."

"That's probably a good idea. Too much can damage your liver."

"Good thing you told us, then."

"Thanks for the paper, and Diamond?"

"Yeah?"

"Good luck."

Diamond smiled. She nodded, and left the room.