After the rain
Uke-Joe
Ever since I was small, I hated rainy days; I couldn't do anything, I just sat in my room and listened to the raindrops fall on the roof. I would lie there, on my bed, wishing that it would stop raining, that the clouds would go away. I sat there wishing that I could do something, anything. The most boring moments of my life might have been these, had it not been for high school math class. I hated rain.
Yet, when I was outside, the possibilities were near endless. I could play with my friends, go look for frogs in the creek, play in the park outside my school. I was never one of the ponies that could stay inside and just read a book or something. I wanted to be with my friends. We wanted to have some excitement, tell jokes, and dare each other to do stupid things we would probably regret. And as if I needed any more reason to hate rain, I had to stay home when I rained, where Mom would make me do chores, make dinner, or anything to keep me from bouncing around the house.
Mom wasn't that bad though--she was the only one to prove to me that rain wasn't all bad. It was spring break, when I should have been outside playing, yet Mom kept me inside, saying something about me catching a cold or messing up the house when I got home. So I sat there for two full days until the storms passed. Mom gave me permission to go play outside, as long as I didn't get in trouble or get dirty. After a long day of waiting, I stepped outside and took a deep breath. I took a deep breath of air, and when I looked up, there was this vibrant ribbon, full of color.
“Don't you love the smell after it rains?” my mother asked, observing me from an open kitchen window. She followed my gaze skywards to the rainbow, “Well, isn't that a pretty rainbow?" She asked, smiling.
Pretty couldn't describe my rainbow, the first ever I had seen. It was beautiful. I couldn't stop thinking about how beautiful that rainbow was. I played outside for a few hours until it got dark, and I couldn't see my rainbow. Then, when I woke up the next day, my rainbow was gone.
I wasn't sad or anything though, I learned that rainbows would come and go. When it finally stopped raining and I could play outside again, my rainbow would follow me, celebrating the freedom I acquired. I could stay outside until it got dark, and I couldn't see my rainbow.
Many rainbows came and went since then; I was just a little colt after all. I grew up, and rainbows became less important to me. It didn't matter if it was raining or not, because I would stay inside, playing video games or sitting in front of the T.V. The next time I ever thought of a rainbow was a few years after I had graduated high school and started working. That was when I met her.
I had heard rumors of it before, the sonic rainboom. Recently the feat had supposedly been accomplished by none other than the local weatherpony. It wasn't until that day that I actually saw a sonic rainboom.... or maybe a better way to describe what happened was that I experienced it. I was out of my office and enjoying my lunch break, when a flash pierced the corner of the sky I had been watching. The rainbow colored waves tore across the sky, giving way to a multi-hued trail. I hadn't thought of rainbows in years, their beauty or the freedom I felt when I saw one. I felt a surge of this freedom run through me, and knew I had to meet this pony, this creator of something so... brilliant.
I followed the rainbow until I found where it stopped. Now, I know the old saying that there's a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, but little did I know that what I found there would be worth so much more than that to me. She was a cyan pegasus, her mane shining of the most glorious range of colors I had ever seen. And, like the rainbows of my childhood, she was beautiful. I was too nervous to go and introduce myself, but she occupied my thoughts that night. The next day, I determined myself to meet her.
It wasn't a big problem to find out who she was, her name was Rainbow Dash. The problem was figuring out a way to introduce myself to her. A friend of mine found out from a friend of his that she often stopped by at the local bakery for lunch. For the next few days, I spent my lunch breaks eating cupcakes and drinking tea for lunch, waiting for her to walk in. When she finally came there, I just sat at my table, glancing over to confirm that she really was there. I sat, waiting for her to move. I'm not sure if she could tell I was looking at her, but I could hardly peel my eyes away from her and her gorgeous mane. I didn't build up the nerve to talk to her, and waited for her to leave before I even considered moving. Her friend stopped me on the way out, and told me she noticed I was looking at her. While some ponies might have considered this weird or creepy, that I was staring at their friend, she said something like her senses told her that I was an alright pony, and she promised to introduce me the next day. I left there feeling as if I had wings, I was so happy that I didn't even mind I was late back to work. I could hardly sleep that night; the prospect of meeting this rainbow-haired mare was too exciting.
Needless to say, I was once again nervous once lunchtime came around the next day. Rainbow and her friend, who I would later find out was named Pinkie, were already chatting. Pinkie called me over before I could order, having apparently set the stage for my arrival. The most nervous steps I ever had taken to that point in my life were just ahead of me, and each one of them flooded my stomach with a new wave of butterflies. By the time I reached the seat across from her, I had no idea what to say. Luckily for me, she introduced herself first, even though “there was probably no need, because she was the fastest flier in all of Equestria,” and I had probably heard of her. I managed to get my name out, and despite my nerves, we began having an actual conversation.
Her voice was a little strange, almost scratchy even, but I could listen to it all day. Unfortunately for me, this was just a lunch break, and she had things to do, as did I. Before we left, I asked her if she wanted to meet up again, maybe for drinks sometime. To my surprise and delight, she said she thought that would be awesome, and for the second day in a row I practically flew back to work, my lack of wings barely even apparent to me.
We met for lunch again the next day, and then drinks that Friday. I was pleased to hear that she was having as good of a time as I was during our conversations, and before long, lunch together became a daily thing.Some days, after we got off from work, we would go on dates too, like apple bucking or reading books together at the library. My favorites were when we just walked though, because then we got to talk the most. One day I saw her flying, and wished I had wings so I could join her. I asked her what the best part of flying was. It was the freedom, the release from the boundaries set upon all other ponies by gravity. I silently cursed gravity, and not so silently cursed my lack of wings. She offered to take me flying with her, but I turned her down, not wanting to strain her. She explained that flying was like a sonic rainboom, you can hear as much as you want about it, but you can never fully comprehend until you've experienced it. I finally accepted her offer, and climbed on her back. It may have been awkward at first, but then it was just me and her, flying through the air. She was definitely more than capable of carrying a pony, and had no problem demonstrating the freedom she had with a few midair tricks, nothing too fancy though. I didn't care that it was a little scary, that just gave me an excuse to hold on tighter, to bring myself closer to my rainbow. To my Rainbow.
We landed after at my house just a few minutes of flying. The sensation of freedom I felt in the air with her was a hundred times what I could ever felt when a rainbow came out when I was a kid. I invited her inside. The fun I had with my Rainbow was a hundred times more than I could have had as a little kid too. And,unlike the rainbows from my childhood, I could feel my Rainbow now. When it got dark and I could no see longer my Rainbow, she was still there in the morning. She was my first real special somepony.
Nights like that became more common as the weeks and months flew by. Before long, we were celebrating our 2 year anniversary. I'd had this night in mind, and planned out the evening perfectly. We went to a fancy restaurant, the kind her designer friend liked, and I bought the most expensive wine I could have, and ordered her favorite meal. I could barely focus on my own food when it came, and took small bites of it and small sips of wine. We walked out when it was already night and I asked her what she did when she started to fall during flying. Of course I knew, but she told me anyways that procedure was to aim for something that wouldn't hurt you if you couldn't recover in time, like a pool of water. I told her that she should aim for me if she started falling. When she asked why, I told her that I would never hurt her. Then, I got down on my knees. I told her that I would never hurt her, because I cared for her and loved her and that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her. I didn't have to ask, because she said yes before I could even start my sentence. We were both flying then, but only literally for one of us.
We were married a few months later, and I had my little slice of heaven, my Rainbow. The freedom and joy we experienced together grew and expanded, just like her. Our foal was due a week after winter wrap up. The best part of my day was when I came home from work to see my Rainbow and the little foal growing inside of her. We bought a house, and prepared it for our little foal. Our little foal that never came.
A year after that we began trying again. Dash had at one point wanted to be a Wonderbolt, and knew she could get into the group now if she just polished her act a little bit. Despite being with me for the better part of half a decade, she had never slowed down, not letting a earth pony keep her tethered. We stopped trying so that she could fulfill her dreams. I didn't care, at least not at first. She was my dream, and this was her dream. She deserved it. Not a week after her first tryout, she was accepted.
Of course, being in the Wonderbolts meant less time with me and more time away from home, but I had a job too. What made it hard were the tours that she was away from home. Sometimes they lasted months, and we called each other that we missed each other. I knew she had no reason to be disloyal to me, so I let her go. One particularly long trip though, I messed up. She was a young mare that worked under me at my Office, as I had been manager of my department for a few years now. I was weak, and I felt I could get away with it. And I was right too. Rainbow loved me and I loved her, when she was around anyways. We had stopped trying to have a foal years ago, and I felt a need for something more in my life. While she was out living her dream, I was cheating on mine.
It went like this for the better part of a year. Rainbow never even questioned me. I met with this mare more frequently as Rainbow was out of town more and more. Rainbow came home every once in a while, but often just to sleep and relax her tired wings. Then, the mare I was with got pregnant. When word got out, I was fired. Rainbow heard the news, but refused to believe it until she flew home to talk to me. I can remember that night.
It was raining hard when I answered the door for her. She put down her bags and gave me a kiss on the cheek. When I didn't return it, she asked me what was wrong. When I didn't answer, she asked me again, a little quiver in her voice. I just kept staring at my hooves. When I didn't answer that time, she broke out into tears. I didn't know what to do. I didn't know if she wanted my comfort, or if she wanted me to leave her alone, so I just stood there, watching her cry. I cried too, but I remained quiet. I knew I had hurt her, but she didn't say anything, she just cried. I hadn't only cheated on her, I had cheated on my dream, my rainbow, my Rainbow. I finally managed to choke out that I was sorry, but my words must have made it feel worse, because she flew out the door. I felt chained to where I was, all freedom gone from me. That rainbow that meant I was free to go, to leave my prison, that meant joy was returning to me, that rainbow was gone. My Rainbow was gone, having flown out the door. It took me a minute until I realized I should have been chasing down my dream right then. Then, I was out of the door as fast as my earth pony legs could carry me.
It was spring, and that always meant lots of storms. Rainbow had used to be in charge of the spring storms, but times had changed and so had the local weatherpony. Rainbow would have never let the storms get as bad as it was, but even though there was a bit of lightning, there was little chance it would hit me, as I was on the ground. I ran around, scanning the skies whenever a bolt of lightning illuminated them. Wind and tears stung my eyes as I tore through the fields of tall grass. I searched for what felt like hours, although it could have been minutes. I was soaked to the bone, but that didn't matter, I needed to find Rainbow. Flashes of lightning surrounded me, but I just kept running. Finally, it flashed bright enough and allowed me to catch a glimpse of a blue streak in the sky. Seeing as that was my best bet, I altered my path towards where I had seen the blue streak. The next flash of lightning showed the same blue streak in the sky, but this time, it seemed further away. I tried shouting, but Celestia knows how far away she was or if she heard me.
It was a long time until the next flash of lightening, and I kept shouting and running. My lungs were burning and my legs were weak, but I just pushed myself harder. The next flash of lightning showed that same blue blur, but seemingly closer, as if I was catching up. Another flash confirmed that either I was outrunning a pegasus or she had turned around. The tall grass of the field I was running in whipped across my face, but I had to get to her. The next bolt showed her closer, and then closer, until I was sure we were in shouting distance. I stopped and shouted at the top of my lungs, begging her to come back, for forgiveness. I saw her look at me when the next flash of lightning struck, opening her mouth to shout something back to me. Just as she was about to speak, another lightning bolt took the one in a million shot it had at hitting me, and I'm sure it was heading for me; I deserved it, after all. It failed at its targeting, and almost hit Rainbow instead. In the milliseconds that went by, I saw her, eyes wide open, screaming as she lost control and streamed straight towards me.
I was prepared though. I recalled my promise to her all those years ago, that I had loved her, and I would never hurt her. I still loved her, and although it was too late to say I would never hurt her, I wouldn't let that happen now, not again. I was going to break her fall, and she would live, and I would die, rescuing my Rainbow. She had different plans though, because even as I braced for impact, I never felt it. She turned at the last second. That impact I was supposed to feel never hit me. It never hit me until I heard that sound, a sickening crunch a few feet to my right. I stood there, shocked, not believing I was alive, when I should be dead. I ran over to my Rainbow, and picked her up. She was hurt badly, multiple limbs clearly broken. I was sure I had just ran miles, but I turned around and ran back even faster the other way, straight to Ponyville Hospital. When they took her from me, I could barely stand. I fell over into one of the chairs, not allowing myself to fall asleep. I promised her I would stay up for her. I had promised her that I would never hurt her; that I would never let her fall. All the things I had ever said to her came back to me. I was sure I had said all those years ago that if she was falling, she should aim for me, because I would never hurt her. If only she had aimed for me. The doctors returned, but I knew what they would say. I hadn't felt her when I carried her into the hospital. I knew her heart wasn't beating. I hadn't stopped crying since I had left my house to go chase her. I had failed her. I promised my Rainbow I wouldn't hurt her, but I had. I felt more trapped than ever. If I had wings I could have had caught up with her, caught her in midair, and changed her direction. I was chained to my prison, the ground. The only time I escaped my prison and felt freedom was when I was with Rainbow. Every minute with her, I felt like I was flying. Now, my dungeon was more confined than ever. I was missing my rainbow, trapped inside the rainy day. I stayed in the hospital overnight due to being in the cold rain too long. I felt detached from it all though, not believing that something so close to me could be gone. I had cried until there was nothing left, and then cried until the only thing that came was pain. I got no sleep, too focused on my promise. I would stay up for her. I would stay up for my Rainbow.
I left the next day when it stopped raining. The walk home felt empty, like nothing was right. I looked in her bags when I got home, looking for a note, a letter, anything that could give me some closure on the issue. I couldn’t go on living with this emptiness. My search was futile, so I walked back outside, and saw a rainbow, probably from the storm the night before. I walked to the other side of the town, and across a bridge leading, towards the direction of the rainbow. The water below the bridge was flowing, mist spraying off of some of the rocks. I felt myself climb over to the other side of the fence between the road and the side of the bridge, but didn’t register it. My mind was elsewhere, hoping desperately that she could have said something, anything, that might have forgiven me. When I opened my eyes, tears fell out. I rubbed my eyes clear and looked out, taking in a breath of fresh air. It had that scent, the one it has right after a big storm, right after it has rained. I looked up, and there, right in the middle of the sky, was the rainbow I had been following. As if it was my Rainbow, sending me a message. The mist from the stream 30 feet below me caught onto the sunlight and formed another rainbow seemingly where the bigger rainbow had ended. My eyes filled with tears again, but I didn’t wipe them. I climbed back over the fence and went home...
My rainbow, my dream. My Rainbow, my love. At the end of the rainbow there was just another rainbow, right next to me. This wasn't the end of the Rainbow.
***
I stand here every year. On the stone it says "Here lies Rainbow", but I never wanted it to say that. Here lies the element of Loyalty, Here Lies Dash, member of the Wonderbolts. Anything but "Here lies Rainbow", because that would mean the rainbow was buried, and my rainbow wasn't buried at all.
It has been drizzling all morning, but I'll stay here to think anyways. Rainbow Dash, the only mare I ever really loved, was buried. There was no denying that Rainbow was buried.
The rainbow, the same one that told me it was time to leave my prison, the same one that said I was free, that rainbow was never buried; I still see that rainbow from time to time. It told me I was still free that day, the day on the bridge that I saw two rainbows. The day that I followed that rainbow in the sky to the end of it. Where I found the rocks spraying up mist into the air, making another rainbow. Rainbow may have died years ago now, but I had been free ever since I saw that second rainbow, the rainbow that forgave me. Rainbow may not have been physically able to forgive me, but it's hard not to think the former Weatherpony/Wonderbolt/Element of harmony didn't have any strings to pull in heaven, that she couldn't send me a message with those rainbows. Because for me, rainbows had always meant freedom, and now it was freedom from guilt.
They say there’s a pot of gold under every rainbow, but I found something worth so much more. The first time, I found my Dream, the second time, I found forgiveness. I haven't thought about the next end of the rainbow for many years, but I can see it now. It's stopped drizzling, and I can see a rainbow forming now. It's majestic, like the first one I ever saw. I don't have to go very far to find the end of this rainbow. It's right where I'm standing.
Here lies Rainbow.
