Chapters Chapter one: Miracle?
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[One day a stallion unicorn entered the shop, he was talking with the old gryphon about something I couldn’t hear but I could sense I was brought up at some point. When both of them glanced my way, I was sure of it. I had to step back and gulp my saliva because of the creepy feeling in my gut as the two of them came closer to my cage so they could have a closer look.
"Like I said: Right now, Schizo here is the second best behaving one, the others will need a lot more… ‘guidance’, if you understand. Though, I’d still recommend buying the shock collar as well." Golbeak continued his speech.
"Is he dangerous?" the stallion asked with a hesitation.
"Mmmno, no. He used to have a real temper, but he's mostly calm now. You see, he was working on this very city, so he's used to commands and obeys without a word. It's just that for your purposes, it's better to be safe than sorry. Either way, it's good to have a way to ‘nudge’ him in case something in his head... you know." chuckled the gryphon.
"Hmm. So, and the first best behaved one you mentioned?"
"Right this way, he's the crown jewel of my store. This guy was so eager to serve you ponies, he willingly gave himself to us!"
...And they left through the door to the other room. I exhaled in relief that I got to stay in my boring, yet safe cage for a while longer. It didn’t take too long for them to return, however.
"…Yeah, that is expensive indeed, even for me.” The stallion scratched his chin “Guess I'll take this one. Both with the collar, remote and a chip too."
"Of course." The gryphon bowed as elegantly as his old bird body allowed, donning a grin, but in the middle of it, started coughing like a lung cancer patient on his deathbed "....Pardon me, I'll bring everything right away. Follow me please."
Soon after that I was leashed and led outside by the aloof looking stallion.
...
I’ve been silent for most of the walk, wondering in fear what exactly was going to happen with me. The uncertainty was the worst. “It could be anything,” I thought. From the very best thing you could imagine, to the living hell on Earth or wherever they came from.
"W-where are you taking me master?" I mustered enough courage to ask at some point.
"So you can speak after all?" The stallion carelessly glanced my way, "...hope it doesn't become a too frequent habit of yours."
That was all he said to me. I didn’t dare to ask again.
...
Eventually, we reached a newly built train station; I had helped on its construction. I had never gotten a chance to see their trains before it was finished, however. Now I was standing in front of one and it was… Well, it was colorful like most of the things the ponies built. They really must like bright colors.
As silly as their stuff may look to some humans, I kinda liked it. It reminded me of the LSD trips I used to have.
The wagon my master led me to was resembling my old world though. I think it might have even been an old, repurposed shipping container.
"Get in there, Schizo. I am not asking twice." The stallion nudged me into the open door when I hesitated to enter the smelly interior. He then clipped the leash to one of the hangers and left, closing the door. It was a short wait before the train started to move.
There were two more humans in here with me at the start of the ride, but I barely knew how to even converse anymore, aside from talking to myself when nobody else was listening. The only times I spoke with ponies was when I was asking for my next instructions or commands. I almost never talked with other humans, even they thought I was a weirdo.
...So I stayed silent throughout the whole ride, trying to fall asleep.
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"Hey, get up Schizo, time to move!" I heard the stallion’s voice, pulling me out of my dreams. I felt his hoof as it was dragging me outside of the wagon.
I squinted my eyes at the unusually bright sun, but as they got used to the light, I realized I was in a city full of these equine creatures. It wasn’t the only strange part though, the whole place looked like nothing I had ever seen before: The buildings, the pavement, the architecture, everything was in a similar style as what they built over my old city, yet all of it seemed as if it had stood there for hundreds of years.
Something was telling me that I was not on Earth anymore and the feeling in my gut only confirmed it. As we waited for the next train, all I could do was to stare at everything with my mouth half opened in realization that I must have left the planet I grew up on...
In a few minutes, our transport was arriving. This time there wasn’t an ugly wagon for humans in the back like the last one had, there were only the nice looking pony ones.
...I was still sent into the luggage area though, with a threat that if I touched “anything” in there, I'd get zapped. I then received a physical demonstration of how much it hurts. It’s not like I was going to search through any pony luggage anyway...
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The train took us to a nearby small village and from there we had to go by foot and hoof.
We entered a leafy forest on the other side of the train tracks, following a thin, dusty road that took us through the woods. We emerged at a small sunlit meadow surrounded by trees. There was a modern looking house on the other side with a few young fruit trees planted next to it.
My heart jumped in my chest over the initial thought that this might be my new home now, surrounded by nature, right under the sun the whole day. It seemed like a paradise too good to be true.
As strange as it may seem from an ex-junkie having lived in the city streets, I do love flora. Maybe especially because of that.
My master took me inside the house where I pleasantly discovered that it was equally gorgeous there as well. It was letting in so much light through its big windows on each side, especially the door sized ones. They were pointing at the little garden with fruit trees and a two seat swing.
Right in front of the view stood a robust chair with another figure sitting in it, gazing outside. Even observing from behind, all the way across the big room, I could tell it was another pony; a mare. Their manes were just so… pretty. This pony’s mane was visibly disheveled though, almost uncared for, yet still beautiful because of its bright, goldish-yellow colour.
"Stay here," commanded the stallion as he stopped me at the door, continuing on to the living room by himself.
From peeking around the corner, I could see him tapping on the mare’s shoulder, right before the chair turned around.
The room was stretching over the whole house, so I wasn’t able to see much in the way of detail other than the fact that she did not have a horn or wings and that she had a blanket on her lap, covering her rear legs. From that distance, her face seemed just as young and elegant as any other mare. But it was her eyes with big black circles under them that made her look somewhat… unhealthy.
The stallion faintly smiled at the mare when she glanced at him. She didn’t smile back though, her neutral expression stayed almost the same for most of the time.
I couldn't hear what they were talking about but it probably wasn't about me at the start, just some casual conversation. I could swear I almost saw her smile at some point.
But then the stallion brought up my name, pointed my way and all 4 pony eyes were fixed at me. The mare frowned, "I don't need an assistant Papyrus! Especially not... something like this!"
The stallion said something I couldn't hear and then called me closer. I hesitated whether I should go or not, but then went because my master said so.
Up close, I was afraid to look at their faces even though I was taller than them, so I stared into the ground between us.
"...He's ugly. And he smells," the mare muttered.
"He doesn't need to be pretty to be useful. And he can be washed. More importantly, he's tall, strong and obedient,” said Papyrus. He then turned his attention to me, “Schizo, look up.
I did what I was told to do and glanced at the mare, looking into her big eyes. Each of them had a different coloured iris. Her right one was hazel brown while her left one was yellow, just like her mane. They’d be stunning and glamorous if it wasn’t for the scary looking black circles underneath them combined with the hostile expression the mare was adamant in showing to me.
Despite her best efforts at intimidation, I felt like I knew exactly what was hiding behind those eyes. Melancholy, bitterness, boredom of living… It was like an old man’s gaze, one who’s lived way too long and has seen way too much. Everything else about her seemed way too young for that, though. It was as if there was something tragic troubling that mare, causing her wretched appearance. As if she was longing for her own death while being unable to kill herself, just like...
...Just like me.
At least, it was just like me from back then. The resemblance was uncanny; unnerving.
I gulped.
The mare didn’t care to properly look at me though, just grumpily frowned at the stallion to see whether or not he was going to tell her that this was all just some kind of joke. Papyrus would then tell me something like: “Good job Anon, you can go,” pat my back and we would all have a big ol’, hearty laugh together. That wasn’t the case of course.
"You know I don't have enough time to properly take care of you,” replied the unicorn. “He can do many things you can't or make them easier," he said to her silent disapproval.
"...So you're only doing this so that you don't have to come home at all, aren’t you?!" she spat.
"What are you saying? I'm just trying to help you," reasoned Papyrus. He was on the losing end of the battle.
"If you did, you'd be here yourself!" the mare angrily yelled, almost as if I wasn't standing right in front of them witnessing it, as if I wasn't even there. I was pretty sure if she had something in her hoof, she’d throw it at him as well; or at me.
It was then that the Stallion swiftly asserted dominance with his way deeper voice, ”You know well I have duties in my work that I can’t abandon!! What happened isn’t my fault!”
His outburst was followed by a dead silence that filled the room for a few, yet very long seconds.
...
"I know..." the mare sniffled eventually "I'm sorry..."
"...Me too.” The stallion slightly lowered his head and eased up his posture “I know it's not easy, but please give it a chance."
To which the mare softly nodded, without even eyeing at me.
"I'll send him to the shower before presenting him. Yeah and I got this for you too." the unicorn called "Papyrus" levitated the remote for my shock collar into her lap and took out a one shot syringe pistol out of his saddlebag "It's so that he won't run away."
"What is it?"
"Use the remote if he misbehaves. And this is to prevent him from fleeing. Hold still, it'll sting a bit." he put the syringe pistol to the mare’s shoulder.
"Wait, I don't want that- Ow! What the hay was that?!"
"If he gets too far from you, the collar will start zapping him. You can set the range on the remote. Pretty neat huh?"
"I don’t like things under my skin. ...Especially if it's connecting me to this weird and stinky creature." She grumbled.
"It was necessary, dear." smiled Papyrus, then firmly looked at me "Come on Schizo. This way."
My master sent me to the shower tub and left me there with some clean, simple clothes he had bought back on Earth.
The size was okay, surprisingly.
I was happy to feel warm water on my skin once again, finally being able to get rid of all the dirt and smell from all parts of my body.
Once I was done and finally looking almost like a normal human after such a long time, he took me to the living room once again, stopping before opening the door.
"Schizo, I'm gonna say this only once, so you better remember everything as best as your brain allows it. My wife, Lemon Scribble, is now your new master and the single most important thing in your life, understand? I won't always be here, so your allegiance lies to her. If she tells you to jump, you’re supposed to ask how high. If she tells you to run in circles, you better start running. Any questions?"
...I had a few, but I was afraid of asking them, so I just shook my head, saying "No."
"Good. Better than I hoped for. Now come..."
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Chapter two: So lonesome I could cry
Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter. Chapter three: Eyes open
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After getting to know my mistress a little better, I had a little more confidence to explore my new surroundings. Gazing at the forest outside, I longed to see the garden up close, to have a fresh breath of oxygen and to step on the soft, green grass. I felt that I deserved this little treat. I carefully opened the door, taking very slow steps to avoid getting zapped if the range was too short...
At first I just stood in front of the house, sunbathing in the late afternoon sun. I took a few more steps, walking around the house in a circle, staying close to its walls. Off of the side of the house, I found a swing hung from a tree branch with a bench next to it.
I’ve seen it from the living room's giant windows before but now, over the sun's reflection, I couldn't see inside the house. I couldn’t tell whether or not my mistress was still there. I presumed she was. She could probably see me outside exploring just fine. I didn't get a zap though, so she must have been okay with it. At least, I hoped she was ok with it. I didn’t exactly ask for permission to go outside, after all.
My train of thought was broken when one of the windows slid to the side, opening up. It was only then that I realized it was actually a sliding door.
"What are you doing there?" The mare with a gold mane asked. She didn’t sound angry or upset, but instead rather curious.
"Excuse me mistress, I just wanted some fresh air, I-I'll be right back inside.” I said as I started back towards the house.
"It's okay…” She stopped me with a gentle gesture of her hoof. “Stay there all you want. …Just don't get dirty again, okay?"
"I promise I won't." I clumsily sat onto the bench and closed my eyes towards the sun, absorbing its rays.
However, I couldn’t get comfortable, feeling the mare’s eyes on me. It only lasted a few minutes while I was planning to move somewhere else when I heard her call out to me:
"Hey Schizo."
I opened my eyes, turning to face her. "Yes mistress?"
She pulled up to the threshold of the sliding glass. "Help me outside. I want to sit there as well."
"Right away." I rushed through the opened doors to her mobility chair. But the wheels were too small to cross over those two little steps into the garden or to ride through the unkempt grass. ...Definitely indoor use only.
"Just lift me up, I don't want to switch to my big rig. The belts take forever." My mistress nudged me when she saw how clueless I was.
I had no idea what she meant by the “big rig” either but I did what she asked me to and picked her into my arms, carrying her outside.
...The mare smelled like a freshly cut citrus fruit from up close.
I gently sat her on the bench, sitting myself on the side so that we both had enough personal space.
"It’s way better to actually be here, than to just watch it through the window..." She exhaled, squinting her eyes at the sun, "Schizo?"
"Yes mistress?"
As if partly lost in her thoughts, she wouldn’t look at me as she asked after a short pause: "Who gave you such a horrible name? Was it your mother or..."
"No, it was the gryphon traders. My parents called me ‘Anon’. They both died when I was 12."
On hearing my reply, my mistress frowned at the grass underneath her. "Sorry to hear that. ... My father is still alive till now but my mother died. I was 33."
I couldn't help but to glance at her face in disbelief. I wanted to ask her: "How old are you really?" I didn't, though. Not only would it have been rude, but I felt I was in no position to ask questions, especially something so personal as that.
She, on the other hand, had no problem asking: "...So how old are you, Anon?" The mare finally glanced directly at me.
When I heard her use my human name, something clicked inside me. Nobody ever called me that in such a long time. I wanted to thank her but instead I just put on a goofy smile, "I think I’m 19 years old… But the last few months were pretty blurry so I might be 20 already…"
"20? …How long do humans live?" She asked with a raised brow.
"About 80 years."
The other brow rose to meet the first one in astonishment. "So you're young."
"Could say that. In our society, I reached maturity just two years ago..."
Hearing that made her softly chuckle. "I wouldn't have guessed that at all. I thought you were older. At least as old as me."
I just awkwardly smiled in silence, not sure what to say. “...”
"Go ahead, ask me." The mare glanced at me with her big eyes.
She knew exactly what was going through my mind, so I finally let it out. "...Mrs. Scribble, how old are you?"
"Thirty six. Our average life expectancy might be ten or even twenty years longer than yours, but life never really follows statistics...."
"You're 36?" I somewhat blurted in disbelief.
She merely nodded.
"...I wouldn't have guessed that either. You look very young."
"It isn’t that uncommon for our kind," chuckled Mrs. Scribble "The very first signs of age usually start to show in our 50's or even 60’s... Though, I probably won’t live that long."
“...”
I stayed silent, unsure what to say, if anything. The faint smile stayed on the mare’s face a while longer, before she exhaled. "We'll see... And why did the gryphons nickname you "Schizo"?"
I exhaled slowly, considering how to answer her question, what details are important, what she really wants to hear and also how she might think of me afterwards. "Mistress, that's a long story. I wouldn't want to bother or waste your time with it."
"Do I look bothered? I've got all the time I could possibly want. So much of it, it's almost boring me to death as of late. Tell me that story, at least I'll pass some time until my husband returns."
I wanted to ask her more about her husband: Where did he go or what was his job that he was almost always gone to, but I started with my own story instead.
I told her in short about everything from when my parents died, up to gryphons catching me and later giving me the name I hated so much.
Mrs. Scribble was silent most of the time, only occasionally asking questions about humans and our dead culture. I was really happy that I got to speak with someone who didn’t think I was actually retarded. It almost felt like she cared.
I wasn’t sure but I wanted to think so.
When I was done, she gently scratched her chin with a little smirk. "...It seems that trains are a menace to both of us."
I looked at her quizzically, "I’m sorry..?"
”It was a train that ran over my legs. It was by accident of course, I tripped and fell in front of it. It’s a… curious coincidence that we met.”
...An image of the white mare, staring at her severed limbs, separated from her body by a steel beam blinked in front of me in my head; crushed stumps of shattered bone and fur matted with blood while being serenaded with the roaring sound of thousands of tons of machinery as it grinded its way down the track. I shivered.
"...They let me out of the hospital a month ago... But sometimes I wish they didn’t save me back then. If only it severed me in half instead of just taking my legs.” She smiled with almost freezing calm, contrasting with what was coming out of her mouth.
I hesitated a little but I still said what came first on my mind. "...I too often wished I was in the car with my parents that night."
"...Is that so?" Her expression slightly shifted, suddenly curious.
Seeing that reminded me of the potency of my own words. "...Yes." It’s one thing to think something off and on, all the time, but it’s not until the words come out of your mouth that it becomes real.
"And do you still?" She inquired.
The next thing I said, I had never said before: "No, I think I might have accepted what happened by now." ...Words I needed to hear myself say more than I ever thought.
The mare took a moment to process what I had said, after which she smiled once more, but this time a way more sincerely than before "Thanks Anon..." It seemed like they were words that she needed to hear as well.
The next second, before I could fully take in the bright moment, I heard a movement from inside the house.
"...Papyrus is back." Mrs. Scribble announced softly. "I should apologize to him. Will you help me back inside?"
"Of course mistress," I said as I got up to my feet, positioning myself to lift.
"That's a good boy."
I brought her back into the house and seated her into the chair with the tiny wheels which she left by the garden door. It was only now that I noticed there was a tiny joystick for controlling it while riding around. There was no electricity on it though, so it was probably magically operated as quite a bit of the pony tech in this world was.
"You're dismissed for now Anon. But do come for dinner later, I'm sure we can find something for you too," She said with a smile and a dismissive hoof.
"Thank you mistress." I bowed like I did a few times before and went back into the garden. The bowing thing came so naturally that I stopped questioning it. Before I closed the door, my mistress was already scooting away on her chair to another room.
I spent the next half hour on the swing that was hanging down from the tree branch. It never mattered to me how childish it seemed to some but I always loved those. Plus, since there wasn't anything else to do, it was a good way to pass some time while enjoying the fresh air which was so precious to me. Overall, I felt pretty good; Both about myself and the situation right now. At the very least I felt a lot better than I did upon arrival.
My new mistress might not be so bad after all and life here would probably be much more enjoyable than in Goldbeak's cage.
“No more conflicts, no more problems,” I thought.
Boy was I wrong about that, but who could have known back then?
...Before the sun set, I heard a master’s voice. "Schizo! Food! I am not saying it twice!"
I rushed to wherever it was coming from and found Mr. Scribble inside the dining room.
Surprisingly, he was smiling "I heard you were a good influence. Didn't expect at all to solve this for me so fast. Here you go." He levitated a bowl with the leftovers from their dinner into my hands. It was some kind of fried vegetable mix with seasoning, seeds and noodles.
"Thank you master." I bowed again "Would uh… w-would it be possible I get a spoon as well?"
His eyebrow raised a little in response, I didn’t know what it meant.
"I-I just wouldn't want to stain anything in the house.” I tried to explain. “...My hands would get dirty if I ate with those."
"Hmm, sure, of course. Here. And off you go." I got what I asked for.
I happily rushed back into the garden. The food was still warm, my first hot meal after who knows how long.
I rarely ate anything even back when I was free. It’s pretty hard to eat while on hard drugs, but now I was enjoying myself; an actual meal! Not sure if it was the contrast of all this or if it was so incredibly delicious, but I could swear I’ve never had anything this good before. It almost made me shed a tear.
I took my time, eating slowly, making sure to enjoy every bite as much as possible. There was just about enough of it for my shrunken stomach to feel satisfied, but not heavy. Nonetheless, I still spent some time just laying on the bench and enjoying the feeling. I stayed like that until I got called inside again.
I went inside and found Mr. Papyrus out in a hallway. "Schizo, you'll be sleeping here, outside the bedroom so that you'll be close if Lemon might need you."
He also gave me a few pillows to make myself a sort of nest there. I didn't ask for a blanket though, I was used to sleeping without one for such a long time and the pillows already felt like a luxury. Even so, Mrs. Scribble was kind enough to give me one from the couch.
I was really grateful and wanted to ask her if she might need help getting into the bed, but I quickly understood that she liked doing the things she can do by herself, without help. I figured it was so that she wouldn’t feel incapable. Plus, she would surely tell me if she needed anything, at least I hoped so.
"Thank you mistress." I just smiled instead "Good night."
"Good night Anon." She nodded before scooting with her chair into the bedroom, soon to be followed by her husband.
As the door closed after Mr. Papyrus, the hallway enveloped in darkness. Not a scary kind of darkness though, rather a relaxing one. I stretched out over my improvised bed, enjoying the relative freedom of not sleeping in a tight cage and I smiled.
At first I thought I might even fall asleep this way but after a few minutes, I realized that I can’t. Eventually, I ended up curling into the usual ball that I'd sleep in back at Goldbeak's.
A habit is like a straightjacket, especially when it represents what's going on inside one's head. I couldn’t deny that mine was still a mess. It wasn’t a time bomb waiting to explode anymore though, so that was still an improvement for me.
I fell asleep shortly after changing position.
***
Author's Note
Now with a map!
Chapter four: Breathe in the air
Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter. Chapter five: A great day for freedom
Author's Note
Another chapter with an illustration! >:D
Chapter five: A great day for freedom
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That night I slept a little longer than my masters and was awakened by a sound of hooves, clopping on the floor around me.
...It was Mr. Scribble of course, Mrs. Note would be riding in her mobility chair.
"Good morning master." I immediately lifted my head.
"…Yeah, hi Schizo." he scratched his nose and went to the kitchen to read some book until his wife prepared breakfast.
It took less than a minute for her to show up as well.
“Good morning mistress..!” I smiled at her in full attention.
”Good morning Anon…” she smiled back but I could tell that this was one of her fake smiles.
...It didn’t seem as if she’s having too good of a morning for some reason. Which felt strange, the last time I saw her yesterday, she was really happy
"...is something troubling you Mrs. Scribble?" I dared to ask
"…A bit.” she slightly frowned, releasing the pretended expression “But it's not your fault, don't you worry about it."
"I’d still like to help. Is there anything I can do?"
"...I don't think you can help me with this one Anon. But I do appreciate your concern." she softly smiled again, this time sincerely "...Are you hungry?"
"That’s okay, you don’t have to concern yourself with me, I can easily do without breakfast."
"I see. Well,.. there will probably be some leftovers from ours anyway if you change your mind later. There always are…” the mare nodded my way and pushed the joystick on her chair forwards
“Maybe she just didn’t sleep too well…” I thought when she was about to disappear around the corner
But she interrupted my thoughts when her head poked out again:
“... One more thing Anon, make sure to brush your teeth, even if you won’t be eating. I'm gonna leave a fresh toothbrush in the bathroom for you to use."
"I will, thank you."
"You're welcome... I wouldn't want your teeth to rot away. It would be both painful for you to eat, as well as for me to see you like that.”
...Little does she know that all my 8' and 7' are gone already and my right canine is fake.
...
After my masters were finished with their breakfast, I bumped into them again on my way out of the garden. They both seemed to be in a lot better mood than they were early in the morning
...Could be they already settled whatever problem they had.
"Anon, me and my wife are going to the city now. Be good in the meanwhile okay?"
"I will." I nodded on my way to clean their dishes.
And it didn’t take longer than a few minutes for them to depart.
Mrs. Note just had to change from her comfy chair into a less comfy but way more practical wheels, strapped to her torso and thighs. -That’s probably what she meant by her “big rig” before.
This way she could use her front hooves to walk and drag her rear part like a wagon through most of the terrain.
...Too many stairs or bigger obstacles would still be a problem though.
…
…
I was watching through the window as they were about to disappear in the forest when the collar on me started vibrating. It didn’t feel like a good sign, so I glanced at it in the window’s reflection see what’s going on when suddenly:
-I got zapped.
“What the-”
It wasn’t too painful, rather shocking.
...But I felt the next one a lot more.
“OW! For God’s sake what IS-”
The third zap was so strong I fell to my knees. I didn’t need more clues to know what was going on…
“MISTRESS!!! COME BACK!!!!” I cried as loud as I could, hoping she would hear me across the meadow
Then the fourth shock came, and this time it wasn’t stopping.
It kept going, pumping the electricity into my body so hard I couldn’t even move. All I could do was to squirm on the floor in agony.
A thought that this might be my actual end flashed through my head. I couldn’t possibly withstand this until they’d return, or could I..? It seemed that I was about to find out…
What a stupid way to die.
But in the moment when I thought I’m about to shatter my own teeth in the spasm-…
The pain stopped all of a sudden, releasing me from the torture just as quick as it started.
By the time my mistress stormed back into the house, I was still laying on the ground, shaking with tears in my eyes.
"Anon!! By Celestia, are you okay?!! Please, say something!"
”...He’s gonna be okay, the gryphon said it’s not lethal…” Mr Scribble soon popped up behind her as well.
“M-mistress, I-…” I dazedly reached my hand towards the snow-white mare “you r-returned…”
”I’m so sorry Anon, it’s my fault… I forgot to change the settings of the collar!” she took my hand into her hoof “I’m such a dumb goose! Can you stand up?”
"Now, now, dear.." her husband put his hoof on her while she was trying to pick me up “Don’t belittle yourself in front of the human. He needs to respect you.”
...But she wasn’t really paying attention to him.
With her help, I eventually managed to sit up. Her front hooves might be soft to touch but they’re pretty strong too.
“I-I’m gonna be okay, mistress… Don’t worry about me. I barely felt it.” I tried to crack a smile, wiping my eyes.
It probably didn’t look convincing enough because she was still frowning in guilt.
"…At least you'll remember it better next time, Lemon. One has to learn from mistakes.” Mr Scribble broke the silence “I'm sure our human can get over it, can’t he?"
"S-sure..." I nodded
"That's a good boy." he turned back to his wife “Come, I’ll show you again how to set it to house range…”
After that, they left once again.
...
The image of Mrs. Note, caringly glancing over her shoulder at me while walking away stayed in my memory, right next to the one when she smiled at me for the first time.
***
When I fully recovered from the shock, I went to the kitchen to get some of the mentioned leftovers from my master's breakfast. What happened made me really hungry all of a sudden. Then I spent some time practicing on the piano by myself and doing some chores around the house.
When there was nothing left to do I knew about, I went to just relax in the garden again.
…
Free time is always nice but I kinda started wishing my masters would return soon. It was getting a bit boring without them; Especially without Mrs. Note.
…
She eventually returned some time in the afternoon, looking all happy.
And after her husband left to his workroom, my mistress warmed up the casserole from yesterday as a late lunch for me, telling me all about her little trip:
They’ve been to market, visited a barber, ate at some new restaurant,.. even caught a bit of some show on the city square
It might have been merely half a day but I spent a lot of time thinking about just how solitary those two months must have felt for my mistress. Especially with impaired mobility.
It was good that she won’t have to be lonely again once Mr Scribble leaves.
Sure, it would be better if he could be here instead of me, I thought, but I’m probably better than no one at all.
***
“Is Mr Scribble leaving already..?” I asked Mrs. Note when I saw the stallion walking away that afternoon
”Not yet. He’s just going to a pub. ..But he’s probably going to return home pretty late, so it’s almost as if he was.” The mare sighed.
“I see…”
”Well,.. he did spend an unusual amount of time with me today so I can’t blame him for running off to catch up with his buddies. I shouldn’t be greedy…” she glanced outside the window, staring into the reddish sun “…Anon, could you carry me to my old swing? It feels like ages since I’ve been on that thing.”
“Of course!”
I picked her rather small body up and sat her there, then automatically started pushing the swing for her. She couldn’t exactly swing by herself without her rear legs. That was probably the reason why she mentioned it felt like ages since the last time she used it.
From her appreciative smile I felt she was glad I didn’t bring that up.
…
We have been both quiet for some time, just staring into the sun, listening to birds chirping and enjoying the summer breeze. It was peaceful and with a memory of the cage in the shady room still vivid in my head to compare, it was like literal heaven.
”…That’s enough Anon, just sit here with me for a while.” Mrs. Note eventually nodded my way. So I sat right next to her.
...
“…This is one of the few things I got to bring here from my old house in Canterlot… It’s a bit ironic.”
“I’m sorry?” I turned my head towards her.
”Canterlot is our Capital city in Equestria. I grew up there with my parents but I always wanted to live somewhere surrounded by nature. So, me and Papyrus built this house here to have a quiet place to return from our work… Back then I had no idea it would turn into a prison one day.” the mare lowered her sight, then glanced up at the sky “…Still, it’s the prettiest prison I could dream of.”
“Mistress, excuse my impertinence but,.. can’t you leave? I mean, you could have a trip to the city or somewhere else by yourself with your ‘big rig’…”
”Good question.” she pretended to smile “I could, but the truth is,.. that I’m scared. One time I went on a stroll all by myself and one of my wheels got stuck. I had to unstrap myself to break free but I couldn’t put it on again. I ended up crawling my way back, through the entire forest…”
“I see…” My head hung a little lower, feeling slightly ashamed for questioning her in the first place.
”…I expected you’d ask why the first time stopped me.” She chuckled.
“I wouldn’t even dare.” I glanced at her.
”That’s okay. I know I’m making it even harder for myself but I guess I can’t help it.” Her gaze was fixed onto some point in the distance. “Fear can make everything way worse than it is...”
“You don’t have to fear anymore, mistress.” My hand wanted to touch her shoulder but I suppressed it. “I can go with you. If anything happens, I’ll be there.”
”I know… that’s why I’m so happy now.” The mare warmly smiled my way.
...I think this was the moment when I realized that I might have finally found my place in life.
In serving this lonely pony. Not because I have to, but willingly.
And suddenly I felt strong, not because she was weak but because I finally found my purpose. In a way, it made me free…
For the time being
***
Just as mistress said, Mr Scribble returned late in the evening that day
She was waiting for him to say goodnight while I already went to sleep but I still knew when he came back.
...Mostly because of the fact he tripped over me on his way to the bedroom.
***
Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter. Chapter eight: It's called freefall
***
After Mr. Scribble had departed the Monday morning, I was left alone with my mistress again.
This time she didn’t seem so sad about him leaving, she knew she’d have me as a company and she was still pretty happy about her weekend.
...
”Anon, I’d almost forget,” The mare stopped when we were walking back into the house for breakfast, right after her husband disappeared in the woods “I know the code to your collar now, how about we take it off? You don’t need it at home.”
“Mistress…” I stopped and slowly kneeled to be at the same height as her, “...You’re way too kind to me, I wish there was some way to repay you for everything.”
”You’re doing that everyday, my human. This is the least I can do for you.” She patted my head.
“I didn't only mean this, I meant all that you’ve done to improve my life. There’s been so much of it.” I bowed to get even lower and I could feel tears forming in my eyes. In a few moments, my neck was going to be free again. I could barely even remember how it used to feel like.
My mistress was trying to remain humble and reserved, not showing too much response to my visible emotion but I did see her smile to herself as she reached her left hoof towards the collar on my neck. Then she pressed the combination of buttons and the thing fell down on the wooden floor with a thud. The feeling was priceless to me.
As if I could breathe deeper than ever before.
”You’re overthinking this way too much Anon…” Mrs. Lemon picked up the collar and patted my head. “Any half decent mare would have done the same in my place.”
***
Things slowly were slowly returning to where we had left off before the weekend and without Mr. Scribble around; Meaning I didn’t have to be that cautious about my behaviour.
It wasn’t as if I didn’t like him though.
In my head, after the Saturday dinner, I lowkey hoped I might actually become a part of the family, just like my mistress said. I didn’t cling to that idea that much though because deep inside I knew it was kinda naive.
My mistress was really nice but she couldn’t force her husband to like me as much as she did.
***
Throughout the passing days, the relationship between me and Mrs. Lemon grew even further.
Yet, I still knew my place.
…Mostly.
I was trying to be the best friend I could be, while focusing on my service but it was my mistress, who often seemed to forget about my role there, occasionally erasing the invisible line between us.
I felt a bit conflicted about it because even though I’d very much have liked to get less formal, for some reason it always made me feel somewhat uncomfortable at the same time.
I think I was afraid that if I erased the “distance”, I wouldn’t have anyone to look up to anymore.
Only on our “wine nights”, once each week, I allowed myself to relax completely, knowing things would still be the same the next day and while Mrs. Lemon would have wanted me to be more casual around her, she also respected my decision. Most of the time.
***
“Mrs. Note! A mailmare was here; were you expecting anything?” I picked up a letter from our doorstep on Thursday morning that week.
”I wasn’t!” She yelled from the inside of the house, already scooting towards me “...What does it say?”
“I didn’t check, I wouldn’t dare to read my master’s private mail... But it’s from Mr. Papyrus.” I opened the seal and handed it to the mare’s hooves.
Mistress initially seemed a bit worried when she started reading; her husband didn’t usually write to her, unless it was something important or if something bad happened but as she kept reading, I saw a smile rising on her face:
”He says that Princess Celestia decided to employ more scribes so that his team would have more free time! He will visit us again this weekend!”
“Really?”
”Yes! I didn’t even hope for something like that! After the accident, when we almost stopped seeing each other, it felt as if he’s getting more and more distant from me and I can’t do anything about it… But now he might be home three days each week!”
“Oh wow…” I held my breath for a second, indecisive whether it was a good or a bad thing for me.
”Don’t worry Anon, I know he might seem strict but he’ll learn to like you,” My mistress chuckled, reading my emotions like an open book. “He just needs to know you better and now there’ll be plenty of chances. Maybe we could even have some sort of trip together, all three of us.”
“I don’t think it would be too good of an idea, mistress." I cringed internally. "I’m really just a servant here and I think Mr. Scribble would prefer it if it stayed that way.”
”Nonsense Anon." She refused to acknowledge my worries. "...How about we bake him a cake on his arrival? Together. I’m sure he’d appreciate that. There’s one special recipe I learned when I was just a filly.”
“I can’t really bake though… but I’ll help you in any way I can!”
”That’s a good boy,” The mare smiled.
...
The very same day after lunch, we started baking:
”It’s a lemon cake with a lemon fondue. You can probably guess why I wanted to learn that one as a kid,” My mistress was grinning on her way to the kitchen. “I only ever baked it for special occasions ever since and it’s quite long since I baked it the last time but I should remember every little part of it. It’s the cake Papyrus wanted for our wedding after all! Gosh I can’t believe it’s gonna be twenty years soon…”
It was nice to see my mistress so happy about something. She must have really loved her husband because not even I could get her this excited about an activity. So I did whatever I could do to keep her in the good mood, helping as best I was able.
To me, the recipe felt really complicated but for her it was ‘relatively’ easy and in a few hours, we had a delicious looking cake ready for tomorrow. We didn’t make any plans for that day but for Saturday, Mrs. Lemon hoped we could visit Greenwood because there would be a concert. Supposedly, there was something worth seeing almost every weekend…
***
Friday afternoon, about the time Mr. Scribble usually arrived, we were already waiting on the porch, watching the trees rustle in the hot summer wind. However, when it was past the usual hour, Mrs. Note started worrying. Her husband was supposed to come via train and we both knew that trains are bad luck, so she was afraid that something might have happened.
Just to be sure, we went towards the train stop to check whether there wasn’t some kind of accident but everything seemed to be in order, the colorful trains were passing by as usual. Eventually we had to return back home.
By the time we did, we found another letter in the mailbox:
”I’m very sorry, Lemon, but in the end I couldn’t make it this weekend. I give my word that the next one I’ll arrive. Papyrus.” My mistress read it out loud.
I thought she would comment on it somehow but instead she just frowned and went to the living room to play piano. She didn’t even unstrap herself from the big wheels she had to put on to go outside; I was surprised she managed to get herself on the piano stool. I kind of wanted to help but I felt I should leave her alone for a while.
What she played that day wasn't nearly as sad or aggressive as the day we had met but I could clearly hear her disappointment from it.
When she returned to me, after half an hour or so, she seemed a lot calmer. Almost too calm though, as if she was just pretending.
”Anyway,... it seems we’ll have to finish the cake just the two of us, Anon.” Miss Lemon said almost expressionless “...And don’t worry, we'll still visit Greenwood tomorrow, even without Papyrus.”
“Um, okay!” I gave her my best smile, hoping it could cheer her up “Um, we can just bake another cake next week, right?”
”I- sure, of course we can.” She bit her lip as if something inside her stung her but then she softly smiled back. “... Would you help me out of this thing Anon?”
It was the first time she asked me to help her unstrapping her wheels. She always prefered to do it alone to prove to herself that she was still capable. This time however, she likely just needed to feel less alone.
Of course, I was glad to lend a hand and be there for her, even though I wasn't the one she'd have preferred.
After loosening the belts, I lifted her up, about to seat her to the mobility chair, but she stopped me:
“Anon, carry me to my swing please. You don’t have to push me or anything but,... could you stay there with me for a while?”
“I will, mistress.” I changed direction and smiled supportively “I’ll always be here for you...”
When I laid her there and sat next to her, she leaned her head on my shoulder, watching the sun slowly disappear behind the leafy forest.
'...The sight is so pretty it never really gets old.' Flew through my head.
At first I wondered what exactly could Mrs. Lemon be thinking about at the moment, but then I realized it was better I didn’t know. It wasn’t my business. I knew all I could do for her was to be present. And we sat there until the darkness swallowed the world and a pale moon climbed up to sit in his empty throne in the sky.
”...Thank you for staying, Anon,” said my mistress eventually after a long time of silence, lifting her head and cracking a smile. “Let’s go home now.”
***
(note for myself, delete later: it’s three full weeks here + the first weekend)
Tomorrow we had a third of the lemon cake for breakfast.
It was as delicious as it looked and my mistress was happy that at least I enjoyed it if her husband couldn’t.
I was expecting she’d be still sad about yesterday but to my surprise she must have gotten over it. That, or she was hiding it better than I could tell.
...
Just like promised, we also went to Greenwood on Saturday and despite all odds we had a splendid time there. Mrs. Lemon bought another bottle of wine for the upcoming week and then we had a short stroll around the city district. As my mistress predicted, there was something going on each weekend. That particular one, it was an amateur musical concert going on, on one of the squares.
Anypony could bring an instrument of their own, or even a whole band, and perform what they prepared in front of others. As a reward, besides applause, they received whatever the audience donated to the gift box at the end.
“...Mistress, don’t you ever long to play in front of a live audience again?” I asked the white mare at the end of the concert. I noticed that none of participants played piano or keys.
”That’s a good question…” She chuckled somewhat nervously. “Sometimes I do but I never played solo, if you mean that I should try it here.”
“What did you use to play then?” I inquired for more details.
”An opera. You see, I was one of the many instruments that created a whole, big composition. In the background of something way bigger than just me.” Her gaze momentarily wandered off.
“Forgive my boldness but…" I somewhat abruptly snapped her out of her reminiscence.
"I forgive you. Be as bold as you want to." Mrs. Lemon glanced at me with a slightly amused smile. She did not require me to be so formal.
I awkwardly returned the smile before saying out loud what was on my heart: "The thing is that I don’t understand. You’re perfectly capable of going solo with your skills. Why would you want to be in the background?”
”It was always a great art for me of course! -The whole thing, when ponies who sometimes barely know each other can create a piece that tunes, as a one being. It made me feel as if I belonged somewhere." She brightened up as if she was really there once again. However, that content expression didn't last very long. "...I’d very much like to be there again but after I lost my legs, they found another pianist in Canterlot opera and I-… I didn’t really look for another place. Especially, since I was afraid of leaving my own home just a month ago.”
“But things have changed now, haven't they? You could find something new! I’d escort you, maybe I could move the piano for you somehow too…”
”That wouldn’t be such an obstacle.” Mrs. Lemon chuckled. “At opera houses, they always have their own pianos but I also have a keyboard, just in case. I never used it live though, because the biggest obstacle is in my head, Anon.”
“What do you mean?”
”I am afraid, my dear human... That’s why I chose opera in the first place.” The white mare looked away in somewhat ashamed manner. “I cannot perform alone in front of ponies.”
“You do perform in front of me though…” I dared to walk into her field of view.
”That’s different and not because of your species. We know each other and you’re close to me…” She nervously glanced into my eyes. “You see, I fear I might show too much of myself to others through my music. It scares me to open up this much to strangers. So I always preferred to perform music of somepony else instead.”
“...But that’s the point!” I crouched down in order for us to be at the same level of height. “There’s so much beauty inside of you and it’s such a shame that no one else can be a witness to it!”
For a good while, there was silence between the two of us. I wondered whether I didn’t cross the line by being so open but then she hesitantly spoke:
”...Do you actually mean that, Anon?”
Being encouraged by her words, I continued. “Of course I do! Only thanks to you and your music was I able to find some kind of purpose in life…”
”It- really means a lot to me.” Mrs. Lemon bashfully looked away “You don’t know how much.”
“Thank you mistress.” I blushed as well. “...If I may be even bolder, to me it would mean a lot if my opinion was enough to help you overcome that fear and just give it a shot.”
...What I said, made Mrs. Lemon chuckle in a visible amusement:
”Gosh, Anon. Bold indeed. But you’re a good motivator, I’ll give you that,” She visibly grinned “...And I guess you motivated me enough to try.”
“I did?” I almost couldn’t beleive it.
”Yes.” The mare laughed. “Let’s go sign up for the next one before something makes me change my mind.”
And so we went towards the organizers in the background of the stage to ask when the next concert was gonna be.
...
”In two weeks, miss,” said a yellow pony with a banjo around his neck. “I can reserve you the stage after ‘The Harmonics.’ - Nice ponies, these guys. They played here about three hours ago, did you hear them?”
”Sadly I didn’t, I arrived just as they left,” Mrs. Lemon smiled “...But I’ll make sure to have a listen to them the next time.”
”Do so,” he smiled. “And I’ll be looking forward to hearing your piano too! What did you say you were going to play?”
”I didn’t say…” She softly smiled yet again, this time mostly to herself. “Two weeks are a lot of time to write something for the occasion...”
...
So it was settled. And Mrs. Lemon was really excited about it.
Back home, she went straight to the piano and started playing, making notes for herself and she didn’t stop until it was dark again. She was on fire, maybe even more than while baking the cake for her husband.
...It was so good to see her full of purpose
***
“...Guess what honey?” ...was the first thing Mrs. Lemon asked her husband, straight in the door when he actually arrived the next weekend as promised. “...I’ll start performing again next week!”
”Really?” He stopped, almost as if he didn’t want to actually believe it or if it concerned him instead. “...Are you moving to Canterlot? You know there’s a lot of stairs and obstacles everywhere…”
”In Greenwood, silly!” She laughed. “And it won’t be an opera! This time I’ll play solo, out there in the streets, with amateurs. I know it’s something completely different but change is good, isn’t it?”
”Wow, I’m actually pretty surprised to hear that from you,” The stallion chuckled with visible relief. “But I’m glad that you finally returned back to your talents… Where will it be?”
”On Sprite square, next Saturday at 14:30. Will you come?” Her pupils widened like those of a puppy.
”Well,...” Her husband very softly cringed, “...dear, I’d very much like to, but it turns out the situation won’t be as good as I expected… With more scribes, we got equally more work so it ended up being pretty much the same as it was before...”
...That was when the expression of my mistress lost some of its light. Even Mr. Scribble saw it, so he added:
”But I might come to see the next one? It’s just that there will be something very important at work this Saturday, something they’ll need me for and I already agreed.”
“I understand Papyrus.” She hung her head down. “I know your job is a big responsibility towards our Princess and the nation.”
“Y-yeah.” He visibly stuttered “...I could come to shortly see you at least on Sunday though.”
”That would be nice of you.” My mistress faintly smiled again. “I know it’s not easy for you either.”
“That’s nothing.” Mr Scribble coughed before eyeing me. “Anyway,... how have you been doing here? I presume Anon wasn’t misbehaving since he doesn't even have his collar on?”
”Of course not!” Mrs, Lemon remembered I was there and lightened up a little.”It was thanks to him that I found the courage to try something new. But come on inside; I know you’re surely hungry after the way here and we made some dinner. It’s still hot.”
***
My mistress didn’t tell her husband about her disappointment with her cake last week. She probably thought that it wouldn’t really help anything to burden him with even more things to feel guilty about. After all, we had managed to “dispose” of the cake by ourselves with no effort so it hadn’t gone to waste; plus we’d had fun baking it. Mrs. Lemon said we could even start baking more often because it didn’t hurt to have something sweet ready at home and she could teach me some basics too.
If Mr. Scribble arrived at least for the next Sunday, we could bake something simple as banana bread or muffins. Not the lemon cake though because mistress wanted to keep it for special occasions.
…
That weekend went by in a similar manner as the previous one with Mr. Scribble around. Mrs. Lemon wanted to spend time with her husband since she saw him so rarely, so I had a lot of time for myself. She even played a part of what she prepared so far for the concert to him.
Saturday, she asked him to come for “a stroll to the Old Loom again”. This time they took a blanket with them. And since they returned all happy again and not even tipsy, I considered my previous judgement correct.
However, I wondered why they didn’t just tell me to stay away from their bedroom or something. Then again, I knew how much my mistress liked nature, so that might have been the real reason why she preferred a blanket under the trees over her own bed. I probably would have too...
It wasn’t really my business though, I knew I shouldn't even think about any kind of lewd things because they don’t bring anything good to me. Never did.
I was just glad that my mistress was happy.
...
As usual, Mr. Papyrus went to a pub that Sunday… and departed early in the morning.
***
Chapter nine: When you Rock n’ Roll with me
***
The week days before the concert went pretty much as usual.
Me and Mrs. Lemon were doing most of the things together: reading, cooking, taking strolls through the forest… This time she even took me to see the Old Loom. - The actual village of course, not what she used as an excuse to disappear with Mr. Scribble. And Mrs Lemon was right, there wasn’t a lot to see there, but the path there was really pretty.
Between composing the rest of her symphony for the concert, mistress didn’t forget about my piano lessons either so we spent quite a lot of time behind the instrument. I didn’t mind that at all though, on the contrary, it was great.
I was also there for most of the time while she was writing. Mrs. Lemon didn’t necessarily order me to stay but she said that for some reason she has better ideas with me around. While I wasn’t sure if a thing like that was possible, as long as it made her happy, I was glad to stay.
By Friday, the musical piece was already finished.
Then came Saturday, and that Saturday was a big day for us. - Mostly for my mistress, but for me too because I felt somewhat connected to her. After lunch, I brought the old keyboard from an attic, checked twice if it works, packed all Mrs. Lemons’s musical notes, helped her put on the big wheels and we were on our way.
It was pretty early that we arrived at the concert. After all, Mrs. Lemon did promise to have a listen to the band playing before her.
From their name “The Harmonics” one would expect something classical but it was actually quite a rock show. We both liked them. And then it was time to shine for my mistress:
Ponies were just a bit surprised about what a human was doing on stage with a pony but as soon as I connected the keyboard to speakers and set everything up, I left for the backstage, sneakily watching.
Most of the other performers had some kind of talk before they started playing but my mistress merely smiled at the audience, announcing with her soft voice:
”I named this one: A trail through the snow…”
Then she smiled my way over her shoulder and pressed the first key to start her symphony… The keyboard, even though it wasn’t a real thing, sounded in her hooves pretty much the same amazing as her grand piano and within the first minute, the whole crowd went silent. The melody started out slow, cheerful and happy but it progressively transitioned into a flamboyant display of skill that was beautiful in its refined complexity, yet, as if with its growing epicness, it grew colder and colder each minute.
In its grandest moment, completely different from the way it started, the music out of nowhere stopped with an intentional disharmonic sound that made the audience almost yank with its suddenness. I saw Mrs. Lemon open her eyes to glance at the ponies in a second of stillness before she continued playing.
The interlude was slow and sad, as if barely staying alive but from there it quickly rose to an aggressive tone, full of wild anger and fury, until it started calming down, progressing into the new, second act:
The second act was completely different, yet it quickly reminded me of the very start of the symphony with its hopefulness that previously disappeared over time. Except now it only kept growing, as if the music shone with bright colours and soon it even outshined the first act with its magnificence. -Not through the means of weight and importance but rather through something beautiful that could have easily been heard and felt but not described with words.
The first act was like a statue of glass, refined and beautiful, but cold at the same time. While the new music felt warm and carefree, like a tree, sprouting its way through the concrete to emerge further than a building, slowly blooming on its way towards glory. It kept going, gaining on complexity while staying true to its roots and yet coming up with something new each minute. Everypony was listening in awe, curious about what the third act would bring...
Yet, the third act never came.
The symphony ended not abruptly, but rather openly, as if the story kept going on but it wasn’t written yet.
Not even I have heard the whole thing being played in one piece before, but I knew it was a definitive end now because Mrs. Lemon opened her eyes again and smiled at me over her shoulder. The audience stayed silent for a while, expecting more to come but when my mistress turned the keyboard off and gently pushed the table with her instrument away, they actually realized it’s over.
Then the applause came, and as silent they were throughout her performance, the louder was their ovation. The ponies were clopping their hooves on the cobblestone underneath and it sounded like thunder, while the artist humbly sat there, blushing and smiling.
When the fans went quiet enough for her to speak, she announced:
”Thank you everypony, it was a great pleasure to perform for you. But I’d also like to thank my human, Anon. Without him, I wouldn’t be here for more than one reason.”
With that, she bowed and looked my way, indicating to me to help her pack up. Naturally, I rushed to go help her into her wheels, tightening the belts for her so she could walk away on her own while I unplugged the keyboard and picked up all the things.
Then she bowed one more time, standing next to me while receiving another round of applause. After that, we left so the next performance could take place.
The whole thing, including the packing and unpacking took 36 minutes.
***
“You were absolutely amazing, mistress! They loved you!” I almost hugged her when we were out of sight.
”It seems they did…” She smiled back to herself, still a bit red in her face. “...but they didn’t know your part in it, I wish they could.”
“Please mistress, it was all you.” I glanced at her in as much disapproving manner as I dared to, given my servile position. ”I merely nudged you to give it a shot...”
”That isn’t true at all Anon, do you know what did the two acts mean?” Her eyes met mine with confidence greater than I had.
“I,.. am not sure.” I had to admit under her gaze. “All I could tell they were,.. they were different in almost everything, yet familiar… Although the second one felt more sincere.”
”Did you like the second one more?” Her eyebrows raised higher up.
“I can’t tell,..” I scratched my head. It felt like a trick question but I answered in truth nonetheless. “They were both equally beautiful but the second one was somehow warmer and closer to my heart.”
”That’s because you were in it.” Mrs. Lemon gave me one of her typical mysterious smiles. “...First act was about my previous life in Canterlot. I have to admit that I used to be a very proud mare.” She made a short pause, as if recalling the period, judging her own past. “The interlude represented the accident and the depression which I struggled with. However, the second act started when you entered into my reality and began helping me rebuild myself into somepony else. Possibly somepony more humble and overall more pleasant to be around I dare say. That’s why I said I couldn’t be here without you.”
“...D-do you actually mean that mistress?” I stuttered. It was because I felt the same way about her, improving my own life in a similar manner. I just refused to believe it might be both-sided. “It can’t possibly be-”
”It is.” Her hoof fondly touched my leg as I laid down the keyboard. “You don’t have to say anything Anon, I just wanted you to know it.”
“Thank you mistress.” I felt my eyes water with emotion. ”It literally means everything to me.”
The mare softly laughed over my reaction, her voice as golden as her mane. Then she recalled something:
”...I just wish Papyrus was here with us, I wonder if he’d even like the whole thing. Maybe it could help him cross the bridge between the two of you.”
“... You could play it to him when he comes back home next week.” I tried, although I knew it would not be the same as if he could also see the crowd that she performed for. “...But please don’t tell him what you told me today.”
”If you’d prefer it that way, I won’t.” She smiled once more “...What do you say we’d stay here to hear the rest of the musicians today?”
“I’d say gladly. If it is your wish.” I slightly bowed my head.
”I’m asking you as a friend right now, Anon.” She chuckled. “Not as your mistress.”
“In that case, my answer remains the same.” I smiled back.
***
We stayed there two more hours, till late afternoon. Then Mrs. Lemon collected the bits which ponies donated to her at the end of her show and we went for a little stroll through the town.
”...I was thinking Anon, it’s almost time for dinner, would you like to visit a restaurant with me today?” The mare asked me out of nowhere at some point.
“You’re too kind, but-”
”No buts. Actually, this time it’s an order.” She laughed “Come with me, there’s one restaurant I discovered with Papyrus a long time ago and we both agreed it’s the best place to take somepony if you want them to discover something even better than their home cooking. We’ve got plenty of bits, so let's go!”
I left the keyboard and all the other stuff we brought with the concert organizers who said they’ll be leaving tomorrow, so we can pick it up anytime while Mrs. Lemon led me nearly to the other side of the whole city.
Along the way, we chatted about everything we saw and heard at the concert and my mistress also told me everything she knew about the city parts we walked through:
Supposedly, it started out the same as Old Loom and other small villages nearby but thanks to its centered position it grew from a tiny pony settlement nearby oak woods, into the city that stands there today. Some of the trees had to be cut down but most of them, especially the old ones, still stand and are preserved in many parks around the city.
...Can’t say that we used to have a lot of green cities like this back on Earth.
Of course, my mistress wasn’t there to see it all happen either, the city was hundreds of years old while she built her house nearby Old Loom merely 10 years ago. She knew a lot about it from books though.
...
Through the thin corridors, wide squares and pretty parks, we eventually found ourselves in front of a restaurant called “Wooden Spoon”. By that time it was already dark but that was when the city started to shine with its own light… so it was still really pretty.
”I haven’t been here in quite a while, it’s good to see that everything is mostly the same.” Mrs. Lemon led me to one of the tables on the other side of the room, with a view on the picturesque interior as well as a nearby square behind the large windows.
When the waiter pony arrived, he glanced at me with a visible standoff, then spoke to my mistress:
”Good evening Miss, and I’m sorry to start this way, but would you mind tying that human outside?”
”Good evening, actually, I would mind. There isn’t a sign outside that prohibits their kind to enter. You don’t have to worry not about him though, he’s well mannered.”
”You have to excuse me, I merely worry about the comfort of our other customers. ...If it’s absolutely necessary, could you at least put his collar on and leash him to your table?”
”Well,-” Mrs. Lemon raised her hoof in defense of my dignity but I interrupted her:
“That’s okay mistress.” and I pulled the collar out of my bag, clipping it onto my own neck. “We don’t have a leash though, it’s electric.”
The waiter pony stood there for a while, looking rather surprised to see me do it myself, until he lowered one of his eyebrows:
”Guess that will have to do…”
I learned a long time ago that it’s often easier to take a step back in order to avoid returning the whole way.
...Sadly, we were still given only one menu because they didn’t expect me to be able to read. It didn’t really matter in the end though, because I didn’t know what most of the food names represent so I needed Mrs. Lemon to explain to me anyway.
After we both picked something, we had a bit more time to talk. There was one question I meant to ask sooner but I couldn’t really find the right moment until now:
“Mistress, about your symphony today…” I started.
”Yes Anon?”
“I couldn’t stop thinking about it, the first act,.. was that really you? I mean: did it really reflect your life back then?”
”Yes.” She smiled with slight amusement. “...Hard to believe?”
“A little bit.” I admitted.
”Yet it’s true. I used to be quite posh.” A chuckle escaped her lips “I don’t think you’d like me back then. Trust me, I’d be the first to complain about being in the same room with you… Actually, I remember that I didn't make exactly a good first impression either. Now I wish I could take those words back.” She looked away with visible shame.
“I understand it was said under heavy emotions. Please, don’t be so hard on yourself. I am way past it.”
”I appreciate you saying that ...But Papyrus doesn’t have it easy with me either, I just wish that he-”
However, my mistress didn’t finish her sentence because her husband, who she just mentioned, literally entered the restaurant at the very same moment. ...With a mare by his side.
”What the-... quickly hide under the table!” Mrs. Lemon suddenly pushed my head down “What is he doing here with Ink Blossom..?”
They didn’t notice us and sat down to one of the tables while we kept watching them from where we were hidden:
”...I don’t understand, he said he’ll be busy the whole Saturday. So much that he couldn’t come to the concert,.. why is he here?” Miss Lemon whispered without taking her eyes off them.
“I don’t know but surely there’s some good explanation…” I whispered back. “You said you know the mare, mistress?”
”She’s one of his co-workers that lives here in Greenwood… maybe there just wasn’t as much work as he expected and he arrived sooner. And since they usually ride the same train, he went on a dinner with Ink. ...As friends, just like us. ...A-after the dinner, he’ll surely come home…” her heart was beating so heavy that even I could hear it.
It was as if I could literally feel the growing stress inside of the mare as she had to watch her husband slowly slide closer to the mare with a black mane. As he wrapped his hoof around her, whispering something into her ear. And then, as they kissed and giggled together like lovers.
”This isn’t true…” Mrs. Lemon whimpered “Papyrus wouldn’t-... he k-knows that I…”
Yet she couldn’t finish what she wanted to say. Instead, she wailed a long, painful sound as if something inside of her was dying...
”He- he wouldn’t-…” she then sobbed, still trying to finish her sentence, even though it was already clear what was happening there.
...
But as my mistress had to watch her husband kiss the mare again, all of that sadness and desperation turned into something else in a mere blink of an eye.
About the same time, the unicorn waiter came, about to serve us the food we ordered:
”Miss, here’s your-” he started, yet he didn’t get to finish.
”You fucking asshole!!!!!!!” Miss Lemon flipped the table we were hiding under, yelling on top of her lungs at Mr. Scribble over the whole restaurant.
If the waiter arrived five seconds earlier, both of the meals would be laying on the floor. it didn’t mean they were saved though… My furious mistress grabbed her ‘Green beans in soy sauce with brown sugar’, as well as her delicious looking ‘duchess potatoes’ as a side dish and threw them at her husband with deadly sharp aim and all of her strength.
The plate broke over his head and covered both him and the mare next to him with surely scrumptious food that no one else got to taste that night.
”So you have enough time to slut around with your co-workers??!.. Don’t you even have the balls to tell your idiotic, crippled, wife that you don’t give a shit anymore about her??” she kept screaming like a mad mare “FUCK YOU PAPYRUS!!!!”
Mr. Scribble was completely speechless at that moment, not being able to produce a single sound besides staring at her as if he had just seen a ghost. - It partly could have been because the plate he got hit with was quite heavy too. The whole restaurant went silent with him, leaving the furious mare breathing heavily in the center of all attention.
...When my mistress realized that literally all eyes were glued onto her, she seemed to calm down a bit, just enough to stop breaking stuff. I was still hiding behind the flipped table by that time, frozen about what just happened and what keeps happening.
The waiter laid the second meal that was meant for me into my hands and walked away in fear of getting slapped just for good measure. But by that time, Miss Lemon was mostly back to her senses, yet still extremely upset.
She turned at me, awkwardly holding the plate in front of myself, and I while I could swear she considered throwing that one as well, instead she reached into my bag to pull out the sack of bits she earned earlier, turn the table back around and slam one hoof full of the coins on it:
”This is for the food.” she stated.
Then added two hooves full of bits:
”And this is for the expenses. -Let’s go Anon.” my mistress grabbed my hand and pulled me out of the restaurant. On the way out, I couldn’t help but to stare at the still speechless Mr. Scribble, sitting in his seat near the door.
Only outside did I realise I was still holding the plate of ‘Marinated tofu strips with seaweed and spring salad’ in my other hand. I quickly laid it down on the restaurant windowsill because I saw Miss Lemon breaking down on the ground in tears. ...Only with her front part though, because her rear part was still attached to the wheels and keeping her haunches up in the air.
...
“Mistress..?” I very gently laid my hand on her back “Please…”
Yet she just kept crying, barely noticing me...
I never really dared to touch her unless she specifically told me to but now I kneeled in front of her and cautiously raised her up, so that she wouldn’t be in such a compromising position.
Yet she still refused to look at me, shielding her closed eyes:
”Leave me be Anon…” she whimpered “I’m such a pathetic, naive old horse.”
“Let’s go home…” I picked her whole body up, unstrapping her from the wheels and throwing the whole thing on my back.
...
Holding the white mare, with stumps in place of rear legs, in my hands, I walked back towards the train station. She was whimpering the whole way, barely noticing what was going on, just pressing herself onto my shirt.
Eventually, she cried herself to sleep.
***
By the time we arrived at the station, she was still out cold, as if she was in a coma. Luckily, I didn’t have to wait long because our means of getting home was already there, about to depart.
”What did you do to her, human?!” The train driver stopped me when I tried to enter.
When I glanced at him, he must have partly understood, enough to know it wasn’t my fault:
“Please, I just want to take my mistress home…” I somewhat whined.
And the stallion didn’t say anything, merely stepped out of my way. Yet he kept watching me throughout the whole ride.
I didn’t care.
I just closed my eyes, hoping we’d be there soon.
At our stop, I walked out of the train with Miss Lemon in my arms again. From there it wasn’t that far to ‘our’ home.
I think that Miss Lemon woke up somewhere on the way but she didn’t really say or do anything to let me know. I carried on, pretending to think that she was still asleep.
Back home, I laid her into her bed, had a quick shower to wash away the sweat and emotional dirt, and laid myself on my mattress in front of her door, hoping that the morning would be wiser than evening.
Boy, was I wrong.
***
“Do you believe in twin flames? Like uh-,.. that every living being has their twin soul and one day they are bound to reunite.” I asked.
However, the hobo I was asking, sitting in front of the fire next to me, wasn’t even conscious.
“...Yeah, me neither.” I answered to myself.
***
I didn’t sleep well that night, I kept waking up and rolling around and I eventually got up a lot sooner than I usually would. It was already light outside and I couldn't go back to sleep
My back still somewhat hurt a bit from carrying my mistress yesterday but I didn’t care that much about it. Most of all, I needed to know whether she was okay, so, the very first thing I did that morning was that I slowly opened the door to Miss Lemon’s bedroom to check on her.
I found her laying on the bed, seemingly sleeping. She probably wouldn’t have even noticed me but as I was closing the door again, the hinges creaked, causing her to open her eyes.
”Anon…” The mare exhaled, adjusting herself up to see me better.
“Yes, mistress?” I froze in attention and anticipation.
”Come here please.” She sat up in her bed.
On her command, I walked inside the bedroom to her, kneeling down to be at the same height.
”I wanted to thank you…” My mistress smiled, pausing to fondly touch my shoulder with her white hoof “...And I’d like to ask you... if you can still remember me the way I was before yesterday evening.”
“I-...Of course mistress, why wouldn’t I?” I gave her a confused look.
”I just wanted to make sure…” She touched me again, somewhat reassuringly. “Now, can I ask one last thing of you today?”
“Of course, anything.”
”Would you make some kind of breakfast for me? Anything will do…”
“I’ll be right on it!” I smiled as I stood up.
...Her hoof that slid down from my shoulder, touched my leg before I walked away and as I closed the door, I was given a strange, faint smile. I wanted Miss Lemon to feel better after yesterday, so I didn’t pay that much attention to a possible meaning behind the gentle gesture. I simply ran to the kitchen, already thinking about what could be the best breakfast I’d be able to make with my limited cooking skills:
Surely it couldn’t be anything better than she’d make herself but I still wanted it to be as good as possible when I had a chance to repay her for once.
In less than 20 minutes, I had a plate with some delicious looking toasted sandwiches and a kettle with peppermint tea. Then I went right to the bedroom door of my mistress so I could serve it to her but I found it was locked from the inside.
“Ms. Lemon..? I brought you the breakfast you asked for…” I knocked, “...Mistress?”
As much as I expected some kind of answer, there was just silence.
My heart started beating in a sudden feeling I couldn’t explain. I knew something was going on, something bad. It creeped me out, as if someone was squishing my guts from the inside. “MISS LEMON!!” I kept banging on the door but the only thing I heard was a clock ticking on the other side of the wall. The situation combined with fear for her safety, made me do something unthinkable to me any other tim; I laid the breakfast on the ground, mustered all my strength and I kicked in the door.
It took a few tries but then the opening mechanism broke, the door flew open and then I saw it: A white mare with a golden mane, the foam pouring out of her mouth and some pills laying next to her, as well as a goodbye letter scribbled nearby.
“MISS LEMON!!! NO!!” I yelled, running up to her and shaking with her body to get some kind of response yet it was almost like shaking with a corpse… but she wasn’t a corpse, I knew she was still alive. I knew it, I just did.
Her chest was still softly moving with each of her shallow breaths too, there was still time to save her. I even knew just how. I shoved two of my fingers up her mouth and tickled her throat to induce gag reflex, just the same way I had to do to myself a few times, back in my junkie days.
And it worked.
First I heard a loud “Hrrk!” and the next second there was vomit running down my hand. I didn’t really care about getting dirty though, I had to quickly adjust Miss Lemon so that she wouldn’t choke while I was using my clean hand to keep her golden mane out of the way and keeping her steady.
As all the poison started leaving her stomach, the mare even opened her eyes, trying to see what was happening. I saw she was crying... I knew well how hard it is to hold back tears while you’re throwing up but I also knew that those were tears of a different kind.
I saw such immeasurable guilt and sadness in that look she gave me. As if she’d prefer to die than to be seen like this but I had to stay to make sure she’d live. I felt horrible about all of that, but I couldn’t lose her.
…
When the whole content of Miss Lemon’s stomach was on Mr. Scribble’s blanket, I picked her body up and brought her into the bathtub.
Then I had to leave her alone for a little while because I needed to open the windows in the bedroom and get rid of the ruined blanket so that it wouldn’t soak through, destroying the whole bed. In less than a minute I was back though, to make sure the mare wouldn’t attempt to drown herself or finish the job some other way.
I found her almost lifelessly laying in pretty much the same position in which I left her but she was steadily breathing. That was the most important thing for me.
First I rinsed her fur from all the stains and then gave her white coat a good soapy scrub overall to make sure she won’t smell afterwards.
I knew well that my mistress was conscious all through the process but she kept her eyes closed because she couldn’t look, didn’t want to see me... I understood that completely because I’ve been in a similar situation before. I just never thought that I’d see it from this angle as well…
...
It took a little while of scrubbing to clean the white coat but at last, Miss Lemon was completely clean. I dried her with a towel and brought her back to the bed, getting rid of all the sheets, even the clean ones and I replaced them with fresh ones. There I tucked the pony in because she was starting to shiver, laid the breakfast that I made earlier on a bed table, sat in the chair next to her,.. and waited.
I think I waited for a few hours, it could have been 2 just as well as it could have been 4. I never left, besides quickly running off to the toilet and back once. I wouldn’t allow myself to leave if it wasn't an utter necessity because I had to watch over my mistress to make sure she won’t do anything foolish again. Out of paranoia, I occasionally checked her breathing to make sure she was still alive because it was taking such a long time; I was afraid whether she’d ever wake up.
Until finally, she moved:
At first it was just a twitch of her eyelid before both of them slowly opened. As soon as I noticed, I brought my chair closer and leaned in, hoping-… I wasn’t sure what exactly I hoped for, maybe just for her to smile but I knew that was a naive wish.
When those yellow and hazel eyes registered me, she sighed tiredly:
“You should have let me die. It would have saved us both a lot of trouble… And a door replacement. They were worth more than me anyway.”
“There is no possible way I’d let you do such a thing, Ms. Lemon.” I stepped closer. “I’m sorry about the door but I’d burn this house down if it stood in my way to save you.”
“You don't understand Anon.” The mare rolled away from my gaze. I heard her voice breaking a little as she spoke. “For a short while, I let myself believe that I got over the accident. That maybe it could even help me become somepony better than who I was but it didn't. I'm not even good enough for my own husband. Nothing but a burden to everypony. A world would be a better place without me.”
“Excuse me for this, mistress...” I grabbed her shoulder to make her look at me. A gesture I’d never dare do in the past but I did not care anymore. “...but don't you EVER say things like that again." Her face was surprised by my assertiveness but she didn’t try to fight back in any way. "You're not a burden, you hear me?! You're a miracle worker! You heal souls and create beautiful music! And if your husband can't see it, then it's not your fault! I wish he too could see the amazing being that you are. I wish you could see it yourself…” I deflated and fell down on my knees, now at the same height with her. My hand was still laying on her shoulder though, as if I was scared to let go, that she might disappear. “...Because all those ponies at the concert could see it. And if that means anything, I see it. And if you ever fail to love yourself for that, I always will.”
“Gosh, Anon.” Ms. Lemon’s eyes started to water. “...Why would you care so much about this crippled old horse?”
“Because you saved me! You gave me a purpose, something to live for. I wish I could give you something like that as well but I just don’t have that power. I really, really wish I had but I don’t.” I hung my head and let go of her shoulder in defeat. It felt as if nothing I could say would be able to help her.
In the silence that followed after, I could almost hear my own echoing in my head ‘I don’t have that power.’ However, after a while, her voice disrupted the silence as well as the voice in my mind.
“...You do, Anon, if only I wasn’t so extremely selfish and actually acknowledged it.” She sounded as defeated as me but something was different. I raised my head up to look at her as she continued. “I’m so sorry I tried to take my life without much regard to what would happen to you after that. That was so very uncaring from me.”
I kind of wanted to say: “No, it’s okay.” but as much as I was willing to help her feel better, she was right. So I just slightly opened my mouth but didn’t say anything.
Seeing my reaction, she continued: “...Anon, do you think I could be selfish a little bit more and ask you to stay here with me a while longer?”
“Of course, I’ll stay here as long as you like.” I eagerly brought my chair closer towards her bed but she stopped me.
“No Anon, I mean here.” Ms Lemon gently touched the mattress next to her.
“I-in my master’s bed?” I stuttered. It was one of the places that felt like absolute taboo, even after everything that happened.
“Yes, who cares anymore? Please, I just… I’d like somepony or-... someone to hold me.” She looked a little embarrassed. “It’s not an order, just a request.”
“Gladly.” I smiled, happy that there was something I could do for her. However, I was extremely awkward while laying on the bed next to the mare and even more awkward while wrapping my arms around her fragile looking body. Regardless of that, she fondly cuddled up to me and buried her head underneath my chin.
Even though I did carry her the whole way from Greenwood yesterday, this was something a little different. When I allowed myself to relax a bit as well, it was actually really nice and peaceful; Yesterday's drama was not.
Ms. Lemon was really warm now, compared to how cold she was when I was laying her down in bed before. I still had my shirt and shorts on but her mane, all clean and dry since the bath, felt so silky soft on my skin where it touched. It felt almost like a sin.
I could hear her very gently breathe and felt her chest moving against mine, as well as the steady rhythm of her heart. With it, it became easy to loosen up my stiffened body.
The mare was otherwise quiet and soon I could tell she dozed off, so I allowed myself to relax even further and fall asleep alongside her.
***
When I woke up, we were still in a very similar position, shifting only ever so slightly. It must have been afternoon already, at least 3 o clock, I judged. I didn’t dare to move though, in order to not disturb the mare. Her ruffled up mane was everywhere in my face now but I didn’t mind. On the contrary, her fruity scent was so enticing I buried my nose into her golden hair a little bit further.
It was strange, in a way. I had always looked up to her as a motherly figure but when she was laying there like that in my arms, it was suddenly different. It made me wish I could cuddle her soft cheeks and kiss her cute snoot like lovers do. Something like that was always unthinkable though, not only she was my master but she was also married.
I wondered if they’d attempt to fix the marriage after what happened or if it was already lost. Sure it did seem that way, since she tried to take her own life, but I knew that things often tend to return to where they were. Nonetheless, I felt it was not my place to be considering such things anyway. Surely, she would be looking for another stallion to replace Mr. Scribble and not someone that has to wear a collar inside fancy restaurants in order to not disturb other ponies.
Then she suddenly moved in my arms and I was yanked out of my thought processes. I hoped that it wouldn’t be awkward when she comes to. That she’ll remember it was her own wish for me to be there. To my relief, the first thing she uttered, without moving her head away from my chest was: “...Thank you Anon for staying.”
“My pleasure, mistress.” I very gently started letting go, presuming she’d want me gone now. Her hoof stopped me though:
“A few more minutes, please?” Her hazel eye pleadingly opened underneath all that hair.
“Of course.” I put the hand back where it was, happy to be able to enjoy the moment a little longer.
“You aren’t obliged to obey me though, you know that right?” The mare murmured.
“I know, you said that mistress.” I reassured her. “I’m happy to stay.”
“Always so courteous.” She grinned without moving. “One day you’ll make some humaness very happy.”
“What do you mean?” What she said threw me off a little.
“Well, I can’t expect to keep you forever. As much as I enjoy your company and service, I know I can’t usurp your life like that. One day I’ll set you free.”
“I am not sure if I’d want that, however. I don’t even know where to go or what I’d do.” My voice probably sounded panicky.
“Right now you don’t know.” Her hooves partly let go, just enough so that she could look at me with both eyes opened. “But I reckon that will change one day.”
“I don’t think so…”
“Well, if not, then I can probably get you a mate somewhere on the market.” She cuddled back up to my chest a little. Somehow, what she said hurt me because even though I knew it was a fool's hope, it ruled out the chance of ever being that special someone for her. “...What’s wrong?” Ms. Lemon asked me eventually, somehow sensing my prevailing, even discomfort. Be it because of my lack of an answer or my heart gaining a more chaotic rhythm.
“Nothing, I just-...Nothing at all.” I had to swallow what my mouth so desperately wanted to say.
It made the mare open her eyes and adjust herself to be able to see into my own. “Anon, didn’t actually start thinking of this old mare, didn’t you?” She said with a very concerned voice.
I must have been easy to read to her, my red cheeks probably didn’t help it at the moment. So, I decided to admit it, while making a bit of distance between us, in case she’d want me gone from the bed immediately. “I’m so sorry, mistress. I just let my mind wander and I must have let it wander too far... I’m sorry.”
“Oh Anon…” Something shortly lit up behind her eyes but then her head hung down in disappointment. “...You’d actually want that?”
“I-...I never actually dared to even consider such a thing before just now. I always thought of you as if you were my mother.” I started, speaking the truth but using as cautious words as possible. “However, I always thought that Mr, Scribble was extremely lucky to have you.”
“No Anon, I mean ‘this’.” She sat up and pointed at herself. “Look at me, I’m an old hag without legs who tried to kill herself this early morning. I’m not even your species.” To make a point, she put away her blanket to reveal the two stumps. “...Why would you even want such a thing?”
That was when I definitely realised that she wasn’t as upset about me longing for her, as much as she was upset about feeling unworthy of being longed for in the first place. The lack of love she was receiving from her own husband the whole time must have made her feel that way about herself. So, when I actually found myself in this position of “power” I decided to tell her everything. I moved a little closer and gently touched her face. She still had dark circles underneath her eyes and she was slightly twitching from sudden nervosity. It didn’t make her any less desirable to me though. I moved even closer and glanced into her yellow and amber eyes:
“...Because even if you can’t see it yourself, to me, you’re the most gorgeous and breathtaking of all beings. I couldn’t care less about your species, age or missing appendages. Because I love the way you smile, the way you talk, the way you play piano, the way you stubbornly refuse my help and the way you show your kindness. I love everything about you because I love you .” I felt my own eyes water just a little, in relief of getting those words off my chest, regardless of consequences. “You’re perfect, just the way you are and don’t you dare to think otherwise because of someone who couldn’t see it. And if you can’t believe me, then believe this:”
And I pressed my lips against hers, a second unthinkable thing I did that day.
The second I kissed her, she opened her eyes wide and completely froze like a statue as if she was still shocked that I actually meant everything that I said. She did not push me away though; Instead she blissfully closed her eyes while kissing me back and her body went almost limp with relief that seemed equal to mine. I had to wrap my arms around the mare to keep her from falling.
For that moment, all the guilt, all the unworthiness, the differences and doubt went away. There was nothing else besides the most intense “now”. There was no one and nothing to judge either, just our two naked souls who finally found a real understanding. As if our whole lives led up to this moment and I couldn’t be happier to bask in this wonderful feeling.
A few seconds later, as if her head stopped spinning, she eagerly sprang up towards me, embracing my body back while her kisses became more urgent, hungrier.
I wasn’t a good kisser, having almost a complete lack of practice, but she didn’t mind that. She was patient and considerate, taking the lead at the start by being the first to gently probe her tongue into my mouth to show me how, while giving me enough time and space to do the same to her.
In a way, it was kind of similar to the way she was teaching me to play piano. The same kind of attitude. This was even better than piano though. Definitely sweeter and also a little bit sour.
Some people say that ‘heroin is better than sex’ but I already felt like merely kissing her was better than all the drugs I ever had. It was everything: My hand in her mane, gently scratching behind her cute ear; her hot breath in my lungs; her fragile shoulder underneath my other palm; the fluff on her chest against my own; the ecstasy in my head, knowing that this was all real and I was sober. The best, most sincere moment of life so far and it was about to get even better. Not before taking a slight respite though.
When we both instinctively let go to look at each other and have a little break, we couldn’t really help but to giggle like two children who just discovered something new and wonderful together.
Eventually, Lemon reached to softly touch my face as if she wanted to try whether I was really there. Then her eyes connected with mine and she had to giggle once more. “Who would have thought I was digging for silver while sitting on a golden treasure this whole time.”
I didn’t really have anything clever to say, I had already spent my share of wisdom that day and my vision was full of stars. I must have looked like an idiot but she didn’t mind.
We embraced each other once again, only bumping nose against nose this time while staring into each other’s eyes for a while before actually going for another kiss. Like salivating at your favorite meal that’s laying right in front of you. Only to finally dig in when your stomach starts to rumble. And dig in we did.
From her lemon-y fresh breath, infinitely deep eyes and silky smooth mane ticking my skin, I could no longer wait to taste her velvet lips once again. At some point though, I began longing for even more…
“Mistress,..I-” I exhaled at some point as I pressed my lips against her neck.
”Please don’t call me that...” She breathed deeply, stroking my hair, “Don’t ever call me that way again, Anon…”
“I won’t.” I smiled, my face buried in the fluffy fur on her chest. A promise I intended to keep.
To me, Miss Lemon was always adorable but she was not for touching. Looking into her eyes used to be like gazing into an open fire on a cold winter’s night. She was my refuge from the cold, yet I always feared she’d burn me if I got too close. Just being next to her and loving her platonically was enough for someone like me back then. Suddenly I could love her sensually as well and I cherished every second of it. The mare ravished me like nothing and no one before. So much that I dared to descend even lower down, kissing and touching her body while listening to her gentle moans of pleasure. I wanted to make this mare feel even more special… By the time I had my face somewhere on her underbelly, making my way even lower, she must have realized my intentions, huffing:
”Wait Anon, that’s-!”
But she didn’t finish her sentence because I was already there. Almost like a hungry dog, with sloppy eagerness, I started lapping on her delicate parts that smelled and tasted of citrus… I wasn’t completely sure why I needed to do it but it brought her so much bliss I didn’t even try to question myself. Pleasing her was just as satisfying to me as being able to taste her. The dainty mare was squirming in pleasure, holding onto a nearby pillow and making the most delighted of noises.
At some point I felt her hooves on my head, stroking my hair and literally shivering as if she was resisting the urge to push my face in, yet her touch remained as gentle and loving as if she was playing her piano.
I knew there had to be some kind of peak to the pleasure I was able to give her and soon enough I reached it too. It was when her whole body tensed up as if there was electricity going through her and then she cried one of her longest and most feminine moans. The next second I had a mouthful of something sticky… I had honestly no idea that mares ejaculate and I certainly didn’t guess it would be this much. I couldn’t possibly catch all of it.
Lemon’s sweetly sour juice was pouring down my chin, onto the freshly changed sheets, as I kept lapping at her until the very last drop and until the tensed up body of the white mare started easing up, melting down like a hot lava.
When I was sure it was over, I wiped my face with the sheets and climbed on top of her to see those pretty eyes again.
”My,..” Lemon exhaled, wrapping her still slightly shaky hooves around me. “Never in my life have I experienced anything like this, Anon.”
“Me neither…” I laid next to her, hugging her back as I bumped her snoot with my nose “...I love you.”
”Please, take me then.” She whispered into my ear, kissing my face. “I wanna be yours and yours only…”
...Without too much hesitation, I kissed her back. This time slowly and full of desire. Because there was nothing that I’d desire more than to fulfill her most sincere wish.
I laid her on her back, fondling her chest and belly before I’d take it any further. Then I slowly traced my hands down her curves, all the way to her fruity thighs, which would have progressed into strong and elegant calves. At least with any other mare… Lemon’s body ended there, with merely two stumps, like reminders of her old wounds. It didn’t matter to me however, in my head she was perfect, even if incomplete. To show it, I kissed the scars that she hated so much, lovingly caressing her body with the same if not greater fondness before I’d get to the main course...
Needles to say, I was already so excited that it felt as if my erection should burst through my pants any second. Lemon was faster though. She eagerly pulled the piece of clothing down from my waist, even tore in the process. None of us cared.
Finally free, my phallus plopped down onto the abdomen of that sweet citrus pony, my tip reaching all the way to the button in the middle of her belly. In the yellow and hazel eyes I could see a mixture of surprise and growing arousal.
“Please, do it, I need you.” Lemon wailed desperately; and I did just what she asked. Adjusting myself in front of her puffy vulva, I started sliding my manhood in.
...I had no idea just how warm it would feel inside of the mare. Warm and slippery. Her muscles gave in so easily as if her own body was inviting me in, wanting me to go as far as I could get. It wasn’t possible to go all the way in without any resistance at all though. By the end, when a little bulge started to appear on her belly, I felt I was definitely pushing against something. It made my beautiful lover slightly clench her face muscles in more intense pleasure but we didn’t break eye contact. I needed to see those different colored irises and her impossibly black pupils the whole time. They meant the world to me at that moment.
It felt as if we were going together through some kind of sacred ritual, opening something new and far more beautiful than we both ever experienced before… yet the rite itself wasn’t supposed to be very long because with my inexperience, I had almost no stamina to keep up with so much pleasure.
Very soon I realized that the next few pumps will be the final ones too. At first I was worried that I'd let Lemon down with my underperformance but from looking into her eyes, I could tell that we were able to share the rising excitement evenly enough to actually climax together. Back then I didn’t know that mares are actually far quicker to please than human women and in combination with her excitement, it was even faster.
I longed for nothing more and nothing less than to let go, together, and enjoy the moment like one, complete being. It was so delightful to be losing in her eyes, forgetting who I was… and then it happened:
A moment in which the time stood still for both of us. The ritual was done, there was nothing more to do. As if we were spending a lifetime somewhere outside of our bodies where spacetime doesn’t exist, as well as the boundaries between “me” and “you”.
It was only “us”.
…
Just as quickly as it all rose from seeming nothingness, the same fast it all disappeared and we were back right where we were; yet the sweet memory remained.
Exhausted, I caved down next to Lemon, nuzzling her pony snoot. We were both smiling.
”Thank you, Anon…” She then softly touched my face “Thank you so much, for everything.”
“The feeling is very mutual, sweetheart...” I touched her back. I knew that “mistress” won’t do anymore.
...
After that, there was silence but not the awkward kind. We smiled at each other, occasionally reaching with a hand or hoof for a touch.
“So, it seems that we’ve sealed the deal, does it not?” Lemon grinned.
“It seems that way… Happy now that you got to live after all?” I booped her snoot.
“Most definitely, lover boy.” She chuckled, playfully trying to bite at my finger. Never before have I seen her act so casual and nonchalant around anyone. Acting so… young. “It seems that all bad was good for something in the end.”
“The end? I hope this is just a start.” I teased her again.
“Of course.”The two legged mare climbed on top of me with almost a childish grin. Then her smile faded a little as she bit her lip. “Although, I’m just a little bit worried about how other ponies will treat you… You saw what happened at the restaurant.”
“Lemon.” I made myself say instead of the typical word, while adjusting myself a little to see better at her. “If you need me to hide “us” in public, it’s okay.”
“I don’t!” The mare stopped me with her hoof on my chest. “I am in no way ashamed about my love towards you. On the contrary, I’m finding it beautiful...” As she continued, the hoof began somewhat nervously tapping away at me, as if my body had keys on it. “However, as deeply as I wish for other ponies to accept you as an equal to them, I fear it won’t be entirely possible.” Her voice trailed off.
“I couldn’t care less how others see me.” I reassured her, grabbing the nervous hoof to kiss it. “Your high opinion is more than I could ask for.”
It made her smile grow back a little but underneath it, I sensed that it was still partly troubling her. After all, she carried a strong sense of justice inside of her heart but I knew very well that some things can’t be helped. Not by mere two small individuals in a big world. Regardless of that, I felt incredibly blessed in life.
Lemon watched me, as if trying to decipher whether I wasn’t just trying to make her feel better but then I suddenly reached out to her: “Aw, come here! I love you.” I laughed as I pressed her closer to me while she wriggled and laughed with me in my arms in a pretended resist. “We'll be okay.”
…
After we’ve calmed down enough to be just laying there again, the moment of peace got eventually interrupted by our common rumblings of stomachs. After all, none of us had eaten anything that day. Luckily, there was still the breakfast which I made for her in the morning, so we shared it halfsies before heading towards the kitchen together to make some actual food.
“These sandwiches weren’t half bad, Anon.” Lemon remarked on the way and laughed softly. “I might make you make breakfast more often.”
“How will you do that now that I’m not supposed to obey you?” I laughed back.
“I’ll think of a way.” She winked her eyes at me.
…
After we cooked something for both of us to eat for dinner, there was still some work to do: We had to change the sheets again, take a shower; at least I needed one, and dispose of the ruined blanket. It wasn’t a lot of work but it kept us busy for a while longer. By the time we were done with everything, just sitting on the porch and watching the sun go down, we noticed a stallion’s figure emerging from the forest. Even from the other side of the meadow it wasn’t hard to guess who it might be. It was Mr. Scribble…
Instead of going inside, which was my initial reaction, we sat on the porch, waiting for him to come closer. I held Lemon’s hoof tightly, hoping she and him won’t get into an argument, ruining the good mood she had. I was even prepared to get involved if anything should happen but the mare I was ready to defend just softly stroked my hand and smiled at me, to make me let go. From that gesture I had enough confidence in her to stay sitting as the stallion approached. Then Lemon straightened herself up in her seat and casually greeted the stallion, waving:
”Hey Papyrus.”
”Lemon I-” he started, but he was interrupted:
”First of all: You don’t have to say anything. It’s okay.”
”...Really?” Papyrus hesitantly straightened himself from the defensive position. He was surely expecting another round of what he had received the last time.
”Yes.” Lemon smiled sweetly, “In the end, you might have done me a service. I wish you and Ink the best possible future. I hope she’ll keep you happier than I could have.”
”You actually mean it?… After yesterday?” The stallion couldn’t believe what he was hearing. His expression couldn’t possibly give it away any further.
”I failed to realize that each of us went too far in a different direction a long time ago... If it wasn’t for what you did, I would have been foolishly looking for happiness in places where there isn’t. At least not for me. I found it elsewhere...” The mare smiled at me. I smiled back.
”So, you and that human..? By Celestia, that’s-”
“Wonderful, actually.” Lemon simpered while cutting the stallion off once again. “I just wanted you to know that I don’t hold any kind of ill will against you anymore. That’s all.”
Papyrus stood there motionlessly for a second or two, while his face shortly displayed several emotions, one after another. From disgust and anger, through confusion and eventually, he smiled very softly:
”...I am actually both glad and relieved to hear that.” He gave me the most acknowledging look I ever received from him. Then his eyes turned back to Lemon “I may have lost my way towards loving you but I never wanted to hurt you. For that I’m sorry and I wish he can give you what I could not.”
”I… think I understand all that now.” The mare momentarily glanced at the sky, “...But the divorce will still be a necessity.”
”I figured that by now. ...I presume you’ll want to keep the house.” He straightened himself up to look a little more official.
”Actually, no… You can have it.” She finally looked back at him “As beautiful of a place it is here, too many of my memories are bound to it. Good ones, as well as the bad ones.”
”That’s rather surprising… Nonetheless, I am fine with it because I still like it here.” Papyrus mostly regained his tall posture by now.
”I know.” Lemon smiled.
”...However, you have my word that I won’t force you out, until you find yourself a place to stay of your own.” He put his hoof on his chest. “I wouldn’t want us to become enemies.”
”Me neither, the world doesn’t need any more useless conflicts.” She nodded “...And by the way, we made some dinner just before you came, if you’re hungry, there’s still some left.”
”That’s okay actually, but I appreciate it from you.” Papyrus glanced at his ex-wife and after a short hesitation, at me as well: “...both of you.” He added, “....I think I’ll be going now…”
Then he left, with a peaceful expression on his face, looking somewhat healthier than ever, he was even whistling himself some kind of tune; as if a big stone fell from his chest, one that he’s been carrying even before I even met him.
I glanced at Lemon and she also appeared even more beautiful than I remembered her, even through most of her bright moments. She slouched back down in her seat and sighed in relief as I kissed her mane.
There weren’t any more words to be said for now.
We quietly watched the stallion go and when he disappeared in the forest, I stood up, offering my mare a hand:
“Shall we?” I asked.
She took it and smiled.
***
Author's Note
A part of this chapter got heavily reworked to make it flow better.
Epilogue: A new moon rising
***
Epilogue: A new moon rising
***
After that special day, I never called Lemon “mistress” ever again. Just as I promised.
While both of us might have looked the same on the outside, we were changed beings. As if the events that recently unfolded were the last piece of puzzle to finish our stages of life, so we could move on to the next one, completely different.
I think I finally found my strength to be a grown up man and Lemon finally found her true worth that she couldn’t see the whole time. We were ready to go towards our future that seemed brighter than ever before.
Side by side as two friends, lovers and equals.
No more masters, no more fear, no more pretending.
It was just us, against the world out there…
***
It actually took over a month till all the matters with Lemon’s divorce were finished, so we stayed there for a while longer, very occasionally even seeing Papyrus. He seemed almost like a completely different pony with Ink by his side. A way better version of himself.
Even then though, Lemon was really eager to have a taste of the world out there, so as soon as all her business in Old Loom and Greenwood was finished, we departed for an adventure that was going to be our very own.
Together, there was nothing that could stop us. We had the bits from two concerts Lemon performed at; plus the money she received for her half of the house, so we could just travel from town to town, village to village, city to city and get by easily.
Speaking of two concerts, the second one was where Lemon presented the third and fourth act of her symphony. It was also the last time she performed in Greenwood; which doesn’t mean she stopped playing. We just never returned to that place.
On our way, we were carrying the old keyboard wherever we went so that I could progress and Lemon could play for others on the street. It was a neat travel substitute for the grand piano but my pony girlfriend promised herself to return for her old instrument one day, once when we find a place to settle in. That, and her yellow swing. Both of these things meant a lot to her.
***
Throughout that year and a half of nonstop adventure, I eventually learned to play a bit too. l wasn’t nearly as good as Lemon of course, but she’d always tell me that there’s nowhere to rush, I have the rest of my life to perfect it. ...Yet I always longed for the day when I won’t have to look at the keys as I play, when it’ll come so automatic that won’t even have to think about it and most of all: when we’ll play together and create something that belongs to both of us.
I know that day will come eventually,.. until then I’ll keep practicing.
***
At one of the places we took refuge for a short while, we encountered a rainbow pegasus that stood out from the other ponies. If not through looks, then via something that wasn’t visible to the eye.
Lemon explained to me that the mare’s name is Rainbow Dash, one of the elements of loyalty who are there to keep balance throughout the Equestrian lands. ...I was surprised to see a human man by her side too. He seemed to be in his late 20’, had long hair and wore a rugged looking, yet clean and very nice looking poncho. Just like me, he also didn’t wear a collar.
When we asked her, Rainbow Dash pointed her hoof at the human that was busy drawing some landscape:
”Oh, the guy over there? He’s my husband! Sort of…” she chuckled “Not officially though.”
We were both surprised about her openly saying that, so we asked more and eventually got into a long discussion with both her and the man. It was nice to meet someone/somepony as open minded. Supposedly they were on some kind of “friendship mission”, which sounded strange to me at first but it made a lot more sense after getting elaborated.
At some point, they brought up Ponyville being a nice place to check out one day on our travels. Shortly after we agreed, a flank of the pegasus started glowing.
”...I don’t know what we did but I guess it’s done.” she chuckled.
They both left that day. It wasn’t the last time we saw them though.
After that strange encounter, we travelled to a few more places, spent a few more months on the road but something eventually led us to the mentioned village. Ponyville. It was a small settlement, yet pretty. That wasn’t what made it special though, the local mentality was. Never before have we seen such kind and welcoming ponies, at least the majority.
In the end, both Lemon and I decided that this might actually be the place to settle in and it was exactly what we did. Just like promised, she sent her old piano and the swing all the way from Old Loom to our new home.
We live there till now!
If you ever happen to come by, feel free to visit for a cup of tea and a slice of cake, it’s delicious!
Love, Anon.
...and Lemon.
Prologue: So long, black balloon
***
“It won’t be easy but if you succeed, you won’t regret a single thing you had to endure.” said The Light.
“I’m ready.” I answered.
***
I wasn't always like this, the state in which I was "found." I used to be a pretty normal kid, a bright one even.
That was a long time ago. Things went sideways relatively early in my life, starting with the night my parents died.
Their vehicle was completely smashed to pieces by a train, I wasn’t even allowed to see their bodies one last time. People said I was lucky I wasn't with them at the time but the truth is: I often wished I was. That was where my downfall began…
It was my 13th birthday; the day I got sent to an orphanage. A depressed individual who is looking for some kind of escape from reality can easily become hooked on something unhealthy, naturally.
After all, I’ve seen the older kids that I lived with smoke and drink everyday. That was my stepping stone towards my “bright” future. I started doing harder drugs as soon as I was able to get my hands on them.
I liked to think that it wasn't my fault. I probably could have been stronger. Probably.
The years passed as I watched “friends” come and go. It was here that I learned not to get too attached to any one person with whom I shared a common interest or bond.
They let me out on my 18th birthday, back to my family house. By that time I already knew how and where to get a hold of various substances:
Smokes, alcohol, weed, LSD, MDMA, ecstasy, meth, crack, even heroin, I didn't care.
Over a single year, I managed to lose most of my heritage and descend even deeper into my addictions. I practically became one of the homeless junkies, passed out on the street, except I had a house. It was destroyed, unkept and almost empty, but I had one.
I didn't sleep there most of the time though, it reminded me too much of my parents, so I spent most of my time on the street.
I think I might have been a little over 19 years old, already a full blown junkie, when the colorful horse invasion began. I didn't have a TV, didn't know about any previous negotiations with this race, so I had absolutely no idea what was happening. By the time they started spawning in our cities, I thought I had finally lost it. I was 100% sure that I went completely insane at last, especially when it was mere minutes after injecting some potent shit straight into my veins.
“None of this is real! ” I thought.
I ran out into the streets, laughing and screaming like a maniac while the humans and horses were fighting each other all around with occasional explosions detonating in the distance.
Contrary to my belief, it was real. It was as real as the train that had changed my life back then and I was about to get hit by it myself.
I realized as soon as one of the horses noticed me, knocking me down with a single kick. Even though I was high as shit at the time, I remember vividly the moment our eyes met:
My side hurt. We were both scared. Me, in sudden realization that the pain was real and that this might actually be happening. He, because he couldn't bring himself to finish me with the weapon he was holding.
Never in his life he had to kill anyone before. I could see that from his strangely humanlike expression. He might have even spared me if I pleaded.
But I didn't.
I sprang up, fueled by the ungodly amount of crack in my blood, and punched his face so hard that he fell unconscious after the first hit.
Scared shitless for the life that I was so eager to throw away before, I started running. Like a wild animal, I ran and ran. I outran or knocked out every one of the horses that tried to chase me; even slipping away from their spells.
I didn’t stop outside the city, I kept running, into the forest, into the wild, and in the wild I stayed for some time with nothing but the torn clothing I had on me and one last dose in my pocket.
I found a place for myself by a creek so I’d have water nearby and with my bare hands, I dug a hole to live in.
After a couple of hours had passed, possibly days, I went looking for some food. I found berries and bugs. I didn't need to eat a lot anyway, as long as I was still high but I knew once I ran out, I’d be a total wreck, unable to even walk.
I was right. All the fatigue and body damage came back to me as soon as the effects of my last dose wore off, leaving me laying in my hole like a carrion.
I was still questioning myself if this was real. Maybe I just overdosed myself, died, and this was purgatory. I got my answer sooner than I had hoped, though.
…
It couldn’t have been less than a month when the "birds" started sweeping through areas for survivors and refugees. I was an easy target for them, so I soon found myself locked in a cage, at the mercy to one old, smelly gryphon.
The first few days, while still experiencing the withdrawal effects of the drugs I had binged, I wanted to die more than ever. The gryphon however, didn't want me to. Supposedly, I was no good to him dead so he fed me some slush food and even treated some of my wounds.
Later on when I got better, I found out why.
The horses came back to the empty human cities and there were way more of them than gryphons. They started rebuilding the places as their own settlements. I’ve been a living witness of my old city being turned into a completely different realm in just a few weeks. I was not just a witness though, I had even helped in rebuilding it.
The old gryphon used to "lend" me and a few more humans he caught to the horses as a helping workforce. We were convenient for some specific jobs to them, yet our overall abilities were nothing compared to unicorn magic. To see the old houses being ripped out of the ground with a combined force of only a few ponies, the things they can do just with their minds, it filled me with a deep mixture of respect and fear for these creatures.
Not only for the unicorns though, I wouldn't dare to disobey any of the pony races; not pegasi nor even the earth ones with nothing but incredible strength in their hind legs. It didn’t matter. They all seem harmless at a first sight. They weren’t.
As harsh as it seemed, most of my “provisionary masters” were actually somewhat nice to me, a dirty wreck of a human being, so I always did what I was asked without any rebellion.
I was very aware that it was them who brought the downfall of human civilisation in the first place, but I never really was that patriotic about my race to begin with.
I was a junkie with not too bright of a future. Even if no invasion ever happened, a few more years like that and I would have been found dead in the street anyway.
Overdosed, beaten to death, stabbed for a line of meth, there were many ways I could have breathed my last breath, sooner or later. What happened was almost like a second chance at life for me.
...I emphasize the word “almost”.
Throughout the withdrawal symptoms, I was often wishing for death so all of this would stop, but I just couldn’t do it myself. The upside was that it was the only way for me to stay clean; that and the constant work.
It's not like I could get any drugs anywhere in this new pony-dominated world.
The withdrawals I experienced however, caused uncontrollable mood swings through which I once even punched one of the gryphons and got harshly punished immediately afterwards. They called me "Schizo" ever since, poking fun at my mental health.
Sometimes I would hardly care about what was happening to, or around me. Other times I was banging my head against the bars. It was only after managing to calm myself down, I was all submissive again. This of course only added to their thinking that I was brain damaged.
Over time I began stabilizing again; not just physically from drugs but mentally as well. That would be: Somewhat accepting my fate here so that I could live on.
I wasn’t exactly finding happiness in my new norm, God no. This was far away from anything close to it, but I was stabilizing…
***
When a horse offers a good enough price to the gryphon, he would sometimes sell him a human for good and not merely for borrowing.
Sure, it would cost a lot more than just one day and it only happened to some that were already favourite among some of our equine masters.
The days became routine as the time passed.
”...When we're done here, I’m gonna take you home with me Cindy,” said a stallion, winking an eye at one of the human girls belonging to Goldbeak. Each day, he demanded specifically this one young girl to be his helper and just as he said, one day I stopped seeing them both.
As the time went on, more humans were getting sold as slaves/pets to the pony workers going home or settling in. Golbeak's thugs were still occasionally bringing fresh humans too, slowly turning the business into a regular slave shop by the time my old city was almost re-built.
While most of my “friends” or newfound acquaintances were gone eventually, it was okay for me to stay. I was scared of everything outside my little world. Until one day, things had to move on...
***
Chapter seven: Between two points
[
***
The next morning, I woke up to a sight of a white hoof, hanging over the edge of the bed next to me. It felt to me as if everything that happened since yesterday evening was just a dream and I haven't woken up yet. That is, because as nice as it was, it wasn't a reality I could stay in.
I knew my place.
I knew it well.
Nonetheless, I was happy about what happened; it energized me with even more will to live. Plus, I’d had wine with my mistress and it hadn't restarted my alcoholism. Not sure what would happen with me if I had a line of coke but I knew it was safe for me to have an occasional drink. Which was more than good enough for me.
With a smile on my face, I was about to creep out of the room belonging to the sleeping white mare. I felt grateful for what she had done for me yet I didn’t want to overstay my welcome. I must have been almost out of the door when I heard her voice behind me:
"Anon..?"
"Yes mistress?" I turned around.
"Leaving soon, I see."
"I didn't want to upset you by staying too long. I understand that yesterday's privileges were just temporary. You said it yourself."
"You're a good boy, but you don't have to be this cautious about your behavior... " She rubbed her eyes and gently yawned, covering her mouth. "It was a really nice evening and I'm happy you were there to keep me company."
"I feel the same way about yesterday." I gently bowed her way. "And I really appreciate everything you're doing for me, Mrs. Note."
"Stop with the courtesies, Anon, please." She casually waved that off with a chuckle. "How about you help me with breakfast instead?"
I could see my mistress was in a very good mood that morning, almost frisky. She was treating me a lot less formally than usual, even occasionally joking around. It was almost as if she didn't go back from the way we were yesterday.
Still though, I was behaving the same as I always did; I didn't want to take advantage of her carefree state of mind. I knew that she probably wouldn't lash out on me for many things at this point, but maybe I was simply comfortable with treating her as someone who's deserving great respect. Those were my instructions from Mr. Scribble after all. That Mr. Scribble who was supposed to return this weekend and he surely wouldn't tolerate me behaving any other way than I did. I surely didn’t want to “slip” in front of him.
…
That very same day, my mistress made a call, ordering a real mattress for me just like she had promised yesterday.
She said it was “no big deal”, but it was a big deal for me.
The mattress arrived via mail on Friday, just a few hours before Mr. Scribble. I was just about to set it up when I noticed the stallion’s figure emerging from the forest.
"Papyrus!" Mrs. Scribble stopped whatever she was doing and immediately rushed to her husband for a hug.
He was really surprised to see his otherwise depressed wife this enthusiastic.
"Oh Lemon,... you're looking good today." He smiled in relief. "Even the black circles under your eyes have almost disappeared."
It was true. Throughout the two weeks, they had gone from looking almost like gothic makeup, to mere eye shadows. They never really left completely though, like scars reflecting her past.
"...I know, because I'm happy! And you're here too! Come on inside, Anon and I have made lunch for you!"
"Good day Mr. Scribble." I greeted the stallion as well, bowing a little as he walked past me.
I could see him stopping for a split second, deciding whether he should call me by my real name or the nickname to assert dominance:
"Anon..." He eventually nodded my way, letting me know was doing a good job.
It was a gentle gesture, but from this stallion it meant something.
Nonetheless, I was wondering if maybe I wasn’t doing "too good" of a job. On the other hand, I was supposed to keep his wife happy and I did, so he couldn’t complain.
...
The pair went to the kitchen and while I felt it might not be the best idea to join them, my mistress called me in anyway. I was summoned, so of course I arrived but I wanted to express what I thought. Before I could do that though, Mr. Scribble was faster:
"Dear, do you think it's necessary for Anon to eat with us?" He said to her just as I entered the room.
"He's been helping me with all kinds of things. I’ve even been to the city thanks to him. It's fair we at least invite the boy to our table." She answered quite casually, as it wasn't a big deal.
"It isn't really necessary, mistress." I smiled with growing awkwardness, cringing internally. "I wouldn't want to bother your husband with my presence."
However, I could see that she insisted, even if she didn’t repeat it. With a mere glance at Mr. Scribble, she let him know that.
"...Fine, let him take one of the seats here." He said after a few seconds of thinking. Surely the stallion didn't want to get into an argument.
Yet I felt a bit uncomfortable sitting there.
Only Mrs. Scribble, other times so perceptive but now maybe just purposely careless, seemed to be completely relaxed. She was chatting with her husband about all kinds of things as if there was nothing odd about it, trying to either make him ignore me, or accept my presence.
On one hand, it was nice of my mistress to try and make me a part of the family but I wasn't exactly asking to be there no matter what. Especially not if she’d try to force me in there against her husband's will. Mrs. Note, occasionally getting more formal when we were alone would have been enough for me.
"...So,... how have you been Lemon? You surely seem to be doing way better… What have you been doing the whole time?" Asked Mr. Scribble at some point.
"All kinds of things! We've been taking strolls through the forest almost everyday, reading, cooking, -Anon told me about a few human recipes,... and I've been teaching Anon how to play piano too! He's improving really fast; would you believe that humans can have so many talents?" She eyed onto me, as if she wanted me to say something as well.
"Mrs. Scribble is speaking way too highly of me." I blushed. "I'm only getting into the very basics of her art."
"Hmm, interesting…” Mr. Scribble levitated a spoon to scoop up a morsel from his plate but didn’t put it in his mouth just yet. “Was it your own initiative that you began, or was it my wife's idea?".
"Well, I-... am not really sure.” His direct question towards me made me feel somewhat uneasy. I hoped it was not a test. “I was really captivated by her playing and she offered to teach me... I think it was kinda both sided."
"I asked because my dear wife tried to teach me too, except I don't really have the patience for it and it's not exactly bringing me as much pleasure as it does to her. Sure, her playing is most exquisite... But I don't think it's for me." He glanced her way. "So, it seems you've found your apprentice."
I wasn't really sure what that look meant, if he was smiling, frowning or just plainly stating.
My mistress didn't seem to care; she just happily nodded.
"I see." His reaction was still neutral at first,... but then he smiled warmly. " Well I'm happy for you. It was excruciating, seeing you down all the time."
That one little smile felt like a big win for me that day.
I certainly didn't want to break families apart with my presence; it was nice to see I was still doing a good job.
…
After the lunch, I immediately offered myself to do the dishes so that my masters could have some time together without me. I've also tried to not get in their way for the rest of the day.
From what I could tell, they seemed pretty happy. When they went to bed, Mrs. Scribble was fondly brushing herself over her husband as if they were on their first date. I liked to think it was partly my success too.
***
The next day went in a similar manner, I was trying to give the pair as much space as possible while remaining useful and ready to be called if I was needed.
I spent some time practicing piano while my masters were together on their stroll to Old Loom; at least that’s what Mrs. Scribble had said to me before they’d left.
I’d never been to Old Loom with my mistress, since there was supposedly nothing interesting. There was a pub though, so I presumed they had gone there for a beer or whatever ponies drink.
It might be cider… I thought.
They didn’t return drunk though, so it was probably just a one or two drinks. That or they just wanted to find some nice place in the forest for the more “intimate things”.
It was Mrs. Scribble's idea to go after all she didn't seem to be the type to enjoy pubs so figured it was only understandable of her to long for some love from her own husband.
However, I didn’t exactly need nor want to know, so I didn’t ask. The important thing was that both my masters were happy. If they were happy, I was happy too.
In the evening, I helped with making the dinner and serving it on the table as well. Then I was invited to join them again.
It made me nervous at first but this time Mr. Scribble didn’t seem as upset as the last time. They were both in too good of a mood to care about that. And as I was sitting by the table with them, it kinda felt like…
...like the last time I had dined with my parents.
...
I remember my mother as a woman that was always smiling, in times when I was a kid.
But she didn’t live long enough for me to find out if she’d have been smiling even throughout my puberty.
Surely, if she could see what happened to me in my teenage years, she wouldn’t be smiling at all. ...Yet, the things I had succumbed to wouldn’t have been so tempting for me if she’d been there in the first place. That alone would have been enough for me.
I often wondered what my parents would have thought of me if they could have seen me right there and then, as I was, after all that had happened: Where I was, what I was doing, what my position in life was, what had happened to Earth…
I don’t know if they’d have been proud, most likely not, but I always liked to think that they definitely wouldn’t have hated me for my weakness in life. Maybe they’d even have supported me, or helped me somehow, even if it had been just that one encouraging smile...
...just like my mistress did then.
I glanced at her on the left side of the table, Mr. Scribble on the right, and it filled me with some kind of inexplicable feeling of content. It was just short living though because I knew I had to return into reality.
‘No,... I should definitely not think of them this way…” I thought.
I knew my place…
I knew it well.
***
That Sunday morning, Mr. Scribble stumbled over my new mattress, literally.
It took up a little more space than the pillows and he wasn’t used to going around it each morning, so he almost fell and even banged his head over a wall.
“Are you okay master? I’m sorry I-” I sprang up.
”Hush Sch- I mean Anon.” The stallion touched his aching forehead “...Damn, where did you even get this thing?”
“Mrs. Scribble bought it for me...” I pushed myself against the wall, as far away from him as possible. From my experience with gryphons, my body automatically prepared itself to get hit.
”I could have expected that… Well, anyway…” He turned around, on his way to the kitchen while I deflated back onto the mattress.
...
Couldn’t say whether it was the reason why he seemed just a little bit upset at me for the rest of the day but when I later asked my mistress, she said it wasn’t my fault. He supposedly already woke up a little grumpy.
…
Just like last Sunday, in the afternoon he went to a pub and returned late at night. It really might have been a bad day for him though because he stumbled over me yet again.
I was sleeping by that time, so before I even woke up to see what was going on, he was already in the bedroom, about to lie down next to his wife.
‘The mattress might not have been that good of an idea as it seemed at first.’ I thought to myself.
***
