The Itch

by Voxum

Rating: teen
Tags: Suicide / Self Harm, Equestria Girls, Sad, Fluttershy (EqG)
Length: 1748

Sunset Shimmer goes further than usual, resulting in Fluttershy feeling all too familiar feelings.

The sensation has plagued her ever since she was a little girl.

It never goes away.

It hurts.

But most of all...

It burns.

Published 2021-02-22 17:50:00 UTC
Last updated 2021-02-22 17:50:00 UTC

It Must Be Scratched

Though today was better than most, Fluttershy wouldn't say that it was a good day, but, neither would she call it a bad one.

Then again, if she was honest, that sort of applied to every day ever since she showed up. Thankfully she never really dragged her attention onto Fluttershy. If she had, who knows what might happen.

The shy girl sighed, brushing a stray lock of pink hair out of her face as she walked, briskly, towards her locker. She'd just finished handing out some flyers for the local shelter, before English even!

She paused before the doors into the main building, quickly giving herself some calming breaths in preparation. It was always nerve-wracking, walking anywhere that had people. It only got worse the more there were, and the Main Hall always had a lot of people walking around. Usually she managed to rush through without too much issue, eyes fixed on the ground, having memorized all the little chips and cracks on the floor that led to her locker.

She squeaked in surprise when the door opened in her face, immediately shuffling to the side, hiding in the shadows as a group of boys walked by. Wide, frightened eyes stared as they moved and accidentally locked with a single set of orange eyes. The boy blinked at her, and Fluttershy could feel that all too familiar sensation that always accompanied someone's eyes on her running across her body, like an insect burrowing beneath her skin.

Thankfully he only scoffed and turned away soon after, jogging to catch up with the other two, who hadn't noticed him lagging behind.

A moment passed, before Fluttershy let out a near silent gasp of relief, slim hand rising to rest above her heart, even as the other idly rubbed her arm, nails lightly digging into skin.

With that behind her, Fluttershy quickly opens the door and slips through, shutting it behind her as quick as possible, hoping to avoid drawing attention. For the most part, it seemed to work. Still, she froze up, eyes scanning the sea of students ahead of her.

People walking, talking, smiling, laughing, looking, staring-

She let out a breath, shrinking in on herself. She pressed her eyes closed, hard enough that she saw spots when she opened them again, before darting into the throng.

Avoiding touching everyone in the hall was difficult, but Fluttershy had years of practice doing it by now. In fact, she had so much practice, she didn't really need to pay too much attention to the people around her, which did help with her anxiety a tad.

However, because of that lack of necessity, she was more willing to glance around, both to make sure she knew where she was and to find any and every available exit-just in case-and thanks to that, she started to see it.

As she grew closer to her locker-it just had to be so far from the doors, didn't it?-she noticed more and more formed groups all huddled around each other. She could hear their whispering, their murmuring. See their grins and smiles as they spoke to one another.

One particular group stood out to her, not because of who was in it, or how many there were. This group stood out simply because one of the members had looked up and seen her.

And they grinned.

It wasn't a friendly grin. In fact, Fluttershy would go so far as to say it was a downright malicious grin.

And it set her off.

She nearly froze in place, and would have if it hadn't meant standing still in the middle of a large crowd of people, no doubt drawing their eyes to her. Her steps stuttered for a moment, her breathing picking up as her head swiveled. Her eyes darted to every group around her.

They were staring at something. Something small, in their hands. It was funny(?), a piece of paper-wait, had one of them just said her name?!

Something was happening, something big, bad, not good, where, why, what-they were beginning to stare, staring, nonono-!

Her entire body shook, breaths coming in too rapidly to be of much use because she couldn'tbreathecouldn'tbreathe-!

A burst of motion and she was gone. Running, uncaring of those she pushed aside. Her locker! She needed to get to her locker! Needed to get to her stash of animal pictures, facts, her calendars, that cute little squeaky toy their most recent rescue just adored, and-there!

She nearly crashed into the wall of lockers in her haste, shaking hands reaching for the combination lock. One twist, two, three and the door came open. The familiar sight of her picture-filled locker did wonders for her nerves. She could feel herself calming down already!

She sighed in relief, a small smile coming to her face. She reached forward, hand brushing against a few old pictures, and gently grabbed her English textbook.

Strangely, something came loose when she pulled it away. That was... strange. Her locker was very tidy, normally. Whatever it was came fluttering down in front of her face, before landing at her feet, a blank sheet of white staring up at her. Despite the whiteness, she could see the faint sign of colour bleeding through.

A picture?

Having just come down from her panic, Fluttershy was not quite aware of the world around her. She simply blinked down at the fallen picture, before gently crouching low to pick it up, assuming it was just one of her own come loose.

Grasping it between her fingers, she stood up and flipped the picture around to see which of her animal friends she'd see.

Unfortunately, it was none of them.

Her chest seized in an instant at the sight before her, eyes dilating, and brain nearly shutting down.

It was her. A picture of her. A picture of her changing. At home. She could see the faint outline of her curtains in the picture, meaning that someone had seen her, they'd followed her home, knew where she lived,had been watching her-!

A giggle. A snort. Whispers and quiet laughter and suddenly Fluttershy knew.

This is what everyone was looking at.

She swallowed. Dare she look around? Dare she look away, cast her gaze to those around her? See them smiling, smirking, looking at her, watching staring laughing.

The burning started. Flecks of sensation that didn't exist rapidly flooding her skin. She shuddered in place, picture dropping as she clamped her arms around herself, hiding away because theyneededtostopseeingstopstaringstoplookingatme-!

Her fingers dug into her skin. She could feel their eyes on her, dancing along her skin like a million insects, clawing away at her flesh, digging beneath the layers. Their laughter stung her ears, each peal louder than the last, beating against her skull in arrays of sound that sent her head spinning.

She clamped her hands over her ears, but it was toomuchtoomuchtoomuch.

There was a shout from her right, movement, steps, getting closer closer closer. A soft touch against her shoulder than nearly sent her falling to the floor to get away from the rush of painful sensation clawing at her skin, digging beneath the flesh, burningburningburning. She looked around but didn't see, finding a rainbow of colour, too many colours, too bright, too much, way too much!

She shot to her feet and ran. Laughter followed her through the hall, combined with the shouting of those she shoved aside.

She could feel the tears falling from her eyes as she ran, the scalding feeling painful against her cheeks. She burst through the main door, a rush of wind over her skin sending her main skittering further downwards. It was too much, it hurt, it burned, she hated it make it stop-!

She kept running. She didn't know how long she ran, didn't know how she'd managed to keep running. The fear and pain festering in her chest kept her moving. She hit a door, eventually, that door moved, she walked passed it, she was inside. Where was she? Was this her house, her home, where she was seen, watched, violated?!

Her breathing refused to slow. She continued to shake, more and more and more as she fell to her knees.

She was alone, alone but she could still feel it. The eyes. The eyes. They danced along her skin like a million insects, clawing, twisting burning her skin. They ripped and tore and burrowed beneath flesh, wriggling around within like worms feasting upon her.

She bit her lip to suppress her cry, uncaring of the copper that hit her tongue. Her hands flew, clawing desperately at her skin, trying so hard to get rid of the eyes in and on and under her skin. She scraped furiously uncaring when her skin was marred with thin white lines where her nails dug, uncaring as to the thin beads of red that blossomed over repeated strokes, uncaring of the pain, uncaring of everything in her desperate big to get rid of this itchiness, the eyes under her skin. She scraped and tore at her own flesh, begging, hoping, pleading with whoever was out there to please just make it stop because it was too much and ohgodwhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhywhy-

Hours had passed, and Fluttershy hadn't moved from her spot at the door.

She continued to shake, eyes locked onto a random spot on the floor. Tears still spilled from her eyes but, aside from the occasional hiccup, she was silent.

Her arms lay limp at her sides. Nails were covered in flakes of skin, torn off in her bid for relief.

The thin white lines along her body had long since turned a raw, vibrant red, splotchy and sticky where the redness had flowed and dried. Every single line, every inch of marred flesh burned her. Her arms, her legs, even her neck and face had not been spared the treatment. Yet...

The itching hadn't stopped.

It never did.

Author's Note

Sorry for taking so long on everything. I'm doing my best but, unfortunately, my best doesn't seem to be all that good.

I wrote this story during an episode of my own, mostly as a method of distracting myself. I think it turned out pretty well, all things considered. I've got some other stuff on the way, including all of what I promised before. I hope you all look forward to seeing it.

I hope you enjoyed. Constructive criticism appreciated. See you next time!