(This is a trash fic, if you couldn't tell...)

It's a mess.
Well, mostly it's not a mess yet, but it'll be one soon if you don't do something about it.
You don't want that mayonnaise on the bed sheets your cousin died for, do you?

So it is your duty to remove the mayo from Dash's unspeakable body cavities while she is fast asleep, a wondrous cider-induced slumber.
OK.