Chapter 18

Two years have passed since Princess Celestia promoted Anonymous to General of the Equestria Armed Forces. A lot has happened.

Anon's first act as General promoted 2nd Lieutenant Red Sun to 1st Lieutenant, which gave her command of the 25th Aurora Battalion. Much to the dismay of many nobles, he also promoted Tempest Shadow to Commander. Initially, Anon didn't think of promoting her, and when the Elements insisted, he thought it was a bad idea due to the response. However, after more thought and consideration, Anon decided to promote Tempest. Over the next few days, he received angry letters from nobles. Some of them called him terrible names that are unbecoming of their positions. Others write he should have promoted their children over a "traitorous whore." A noble from New Jockey demanded that Anon resign. He ignored the demands and insults and threw the letters in the garbage.

Magnus Björnsson had designed and built brand-new equipment as a gift for Anon's promotion. He designed them to be more ornamental and make Anon stand out. The new designs also included Anon's spear and sword. Rarity made a long blue cloak, reminiscent of what Spartan hoplite officers wore, that extended to Anon's calves. Two clasps resembling Princess Celestia's cutie marks held the cloak to Anon's chest. The last piece of Anon's uniform was the belt and sheath. Instead of the original leather baldric, Magnus made a leather belt and sheath encased in gold-colored Equestrian steel. He made a second sheath for Anon's KA-BAR knife.

During these two years, Anon had to get used to commanding 600,000 guards from all three branches instead of 500. He understood how to command the Solar and Royal Guards due to their similar doctrines, but the Lunar Guards differed due to their cultures. The thermals and the regular ponies were more vicious in battle than any other branch. The racism towards the thestrals also isolated the Lunar Guards, which hindered them from working with others. Reaching them was difficult at first, but with the help of Captain Midnight Blossom, he found a way to reach out to them. He let them do their own thing while gradually introducing other new tactics and strategies, including working with the other branches. The best way to get them working with other branches was to start small. Anon took a page from the Crystal Imperial Defense Forces book and proposed the creation of a specialized unit of three battalions whose job was to go where the princesses went and protect them. It took some convincing, but the other Generals of the EAF and the Princesses approved the unit's creation. Princess Celestia gave Anon command of the unit, and he made Commander Tempest Shadow his second-in-command. From the Royal Guard, Anon picked the 25th Aurora Battalion. From the Solar Guard, he picked the 501st Sunrise Battalion and the 212th Eclipse Battalion from the Lunar Guards. All of them are the best of their branches. Anon trained them hard and taught them how to work together despite outside disapproval and differences. They were nicknamed the Royal Vanguard.

Also, during these past two years, the relationship between Anon and Princess Celestia has flourished. They only told Princess Luna and Raven Inkwell about it. They all agreed that the relationship would be a crown secret for now. All Anon and Princess Celestia could do was have secret dates on her private balcony and spend the night together in each other's rooms, switching whose room they slept in each month. During the day, they spoke professionally, referring to each other by their titles. It wasn't easy when they first saw each other, but keeping their romance a secret became more manageable as time passed. It only strengthened. Everything was going smoothly until a specific event came up that Anon had been trying to avoid for the past years.

Today, Anon is in his office. He's ready for the newspaper. Surprisingly, there isn't much going on, both domestically and internationally. He puts down the paper and turns to look outside the window. Anon's new office has a view of the valley below. He can almost see Ponyville from his window.

Then, there was a knock on his door. Anon's desk sergeant, Cotton Bale, opened the door.

"Sir, Raven Inkwell is here to see you?" he says.

"Oh? Send her in," Anon says.

Raven walks into the office. In her left hoof is her clipboard.

"Ms. Inkwell. How can I help you?" Anon asks.

Raven takes an envelope off her clipboard and puts it on Anon's desk. He opens it, and two tickets to the Grand Galloping Gala are inside.

Very few ponies in Equestria get free tickets to the Gala—the Generals of the EAF and a plus one among them. However, Anon has never attended. He gave his tickets to those who couldn't afford the hefty price each time. Last year, he gave his tickets to Cranky Doodle Donkey and his wife, Matilda.

"Ms. Inkwell, can you do me a favor and give these to Sergeant Bale on your way out? I don't need these."

"With all due respect, General, but you should attend the Gala this year."

"You know how I feel about it, so I don't see a point."

"I'm well aware, sir, but you must keep up appearances and meet certain expectations despite how stupid that is. Princess Luna has the same sentiments as you but still attends."

"I'm not Princess Luna. Besides, I don't care about what the nobles think of me. The only opinions I care about are the Princesses and my guards."

"Princess Celestia told me to give you these and not take them back. What you do with them is your business."

"I can't blame you for following orders. Anything else?"

"No, General. Have a nice day."

Raven Inkwell turns around and reaches for the door. Then, she stops for a moment.

"Anon, just go to the Gala. Do for Princess Celestia. I believe she'd be thrilled if you went. No one has to know about you two, but she'd appreciate it."

Raven Inkwell leaves Anon's office. He turns his chair to face the window, the two tickets in his hand. He rubbed them with his thumb, feeling their foil-like texture.

He thinks long and hard about what to do. The Gala was five days away. He wants to make Celestia happy. When she's happy, Anon's happy. He sighs as he toils over his decision. Eventually, the end of the day arrives. Anon leaves his office and goes to the bedroom to prepare for dinner. He and Princess Celestia are having dinner in his room tonight. When he arrives, she sits at a small table with a bottle of wine and a single candle.

"You're here early," Anon says as he closes the door.

"I figured you'd want to eat a little earlier since it's Friday."

"I appreciate that. What's for dinner?"

Celestia ignites her horn, and two large plates appear in a bright yellow flash.

"Rigatoni pesto. George added seasons chicken to yours."

"That sounds amazing. It's been a while since I've had it."

Anon takes off his armor and equipment. He sits down at the table, and the two begin eating. One of the things Anon found out about Princess Celestia is that she drinks wine after day court to unwind and loosen up. This version of Celestia is the one that he likes and enjoys.

"How was your day?" Celestia asks.

"It was slow. Nothing too crazy aside from Commander Tempest being on vacation."

"Oh? That's good."

"Yeah, she needs it. I don't think she's taken a vacation ever."

"I understand that. Commander Tempest has a lot of responsibilities, and she tries to remain out of sight."

"Do you know the reason I?"

"Most ponies only remember her as a traitor."

"I feel bad for her, but she doesn't like receiving sympathy very well."

"Hm. Reminds me of somepony."

"I know. I know. Also, I kept the tickets to the Gala."

Celestia's ears perk up at this announcement. This conversation isn't something she expected Anon to bring up at all. She doesn't bother talking about the Grand Galloping Gala around him.

"I held onto them because I've been thinking a little about the Gala," Anon continues.

"Oh?" Celestia says.

"I've been thinking about attending it this year."

"Really?!"

Anon nods. A large smile creeps on Princess Celestia's face. She clops her forehooves together like a foal.

"What changed your mind?" Princess Celestia asks.

"Someone helped me see it from a different perspective. I don't care about keeping up appearances, but I know how much the Gala means to you."

"I appreciate that. I'm glad you are going this year."

"You know we can't go as a couple, right."

"I'm aware. You could give the ticket to a friend as you originally planned."

"That's an idea."

Anon thinks for a moment about who he can give the ticket to. He thought about Big Mac since he owed him a favor. However, fancy events like the Gala weren't exactly his scene. Spike is out of the question since going with a baby dragon is creepy, so he thinks of another pony he's friends with. This pony has been a listening ear and given him so much advice. A Grand Galloping Gala ticket would be the perfect way to thank him.

"I thought of someone," Anon says as he finishes his meal.

"Oh? Who?"

"Sergeant First Class Hard Cider. He's a bartender in Ponyville."

"I remember him well. A bold and courageous soldier. I look forward to seeing him again if he accepts the ticket."

"I'll send him a letter when I get a chance."

Two days later, Anon is out and about, running errands in preparation for the Gala. Errand Number One is taking his ceremonial uniform and high cap to the cleaners. Anon hasn't worn it in months, and it smells like a musty closet and mothballs. There is only one place in Canterlot where he can have his uniform cleaned at the last minute. There is a cleaner shop that Fancy Pants opened for ponies who are less fortunate. Plus, it's closer to the lower-income neighborhoods. The store manager is an Earth pony stallion named Steam Press.

He arrives at the cleaners. Steam Press is standing behind his counter, sorting out some papers. The bell over the door rings as Anon opens the door.

"Good morning," Anon says.

"Oh, morning, General. How can I help you?" Steam Press asks.

"I need a last-minute clean if you don't mind. I'm attending the Grand Galloping Gala this week, so I need my ceremonial uniform and high cap cleaned immediately. I'll pay the expedited fee, too."

"Okay, that's fine."

Anon handed his uniform and cap over the counter. Steam Press put the uniform on a rack labeled "To Clean #1." He put the uniform towards the front and returned behind the counter.

"How much do I owe you?" Anon asks.

"Thirty bits," Steam Press responds.

Anon pulls out forty bits, sets it on the counter, and gets a hoof-written receipt. He bids Steam Press farewell.

The next item on the agenda is to discuss with the unit he put together to defend the princess about a particular assignment. Princess Celestia placed Anon in charge of the security detail as an "incentive" to go to the Gala. In the past, only the Solar and Royal Guards were visible during the security detail, but this year, Anon plans for the Lunar Guards to be visible. Anon knew this would rile up the nobles, but that didn't matter. There is too much going on to care about any of that.

Anon arrives at the training grounds, and the Royal Vanguard is there, as ordered. 1st Lieutenant Red Sun spots him. She gives the order to stand at attention. They all salute Anon as he moves in front of them. He returns the gesture.

"At ease!" Anon orders as he drops his hand.

The guards comply.

"Good afternoon, everyone," Anon says.

"Good afternoon, General," the guards reply.

"I apologize for the late notice, but Princess Celestia gave us a special assignment. She selected us to be on the security detail for the Grand Galloping Gala. This event is the most important in Equestria. Everything we do has to be damn near perfect. This year will differ since the Lunar Guard will not be behind-the-scenes 'actors.' Expect the usual treatment. Remember, that honorable is the one who can control their temper, than the one who can capture a city. Be respectful, and be polite. For the rest of you, some of the nobles will treat you like servants. Don't let them treat you that way, but be respectful. The most important thing at the Gala is keeping EVERYONE safe. Keep your head on a swivel and pay attention to every detail. I will hand out the assignment tomorrow, and we'll train every day until the day of the Gala. 212th, I have you moved to the day shift for the next few days. I apologize for the sudden change. I want that armor cleaned and polished. If something needs fixing, get it fixed before Friday. We are the EAF's finest, so we can't look slobs. Any questions?"

The training ground is quiet. A few guards shake their heads.

"Do the COs and NCOs have any questions?" Anon asks.

Nothing from them either.

"We'll meet here tomorrow at 1300 hours for assignments. Understood?" Anon announces.

"Yes, sir!"

"Good. Dismissed."

Anon sighs as the troops leave the training grounds to go about their duties. Then, Red Sun walks up to Anon.

"I haven't seen you in a while, sir," she says.

"Yeah, I'm sorry about that. I've been busy for the past few weeks," Anon replies.

"I've noticed. Autumn Leaf (the 501st's 1st Lieutenant), Dark Lavender (the 212th's 1st Lieutenant), and I are grabbing drinks after the shift change. Would you want to join us?

Anon thinks for a moment. It's been a few months since he's had a drink with his friends. He can't even remember the last time he's had a drink with his friends. He can't even remember the last time he drank bourbon. Anon could use some spontaneity to brighten up his life a little more, and it's not that there's anything wrong with it to start.

"Why not? I can run what I want to do security-wise with you guys while we are there," Anon says.

"That sounds good to me. We'll meet at 1900 hours at Flasks and Mugs," Red Sun adds.

"Perfect. See you then."

The two go their separate ways. Anon goes back to his office.

The next item on his agenda is to send the letter and ticket to Hard Cider. He writes a short letter and slips the ticket into the envelope. Then, Anon swings by the castle mail room to send the letter on his way to training. He goes to the officer's training grounds. Anon only wears his tunic and sword belt. He turns and performs calisthenics for an hour. The next hour, he does weapon training. Once he finishes, he takes a shower before returning to his office.

It's 1700 hours when he gets back. He reads some more reports before reading the paper.

Nothing much is happening in the news except articles about the Grand Galloping Gala. The only article that interested Anon was the list of the foreign dignitaries attending. In the international news section, there is a concerning article. The Griffin Empire instated the Pony Exclusionary Act, which effectively banned ponies from entering the nation. Anon saw that coming from a mile away. The Griffin Empire had grown more antagonistic towards Equestria. King Granger had encouraged the mistreatment of the Pony colonists, but nothing institutional was put in place until now. Princess Celestia has tried reaching out to the griffins as a gesture of goodwill, but all she received in return were insults. Eventually, she stopped trying and sent a decree that all Pony colonists needed to return home.

1800 hours rolls around. Anon leaves his office. He finds Princess Celestia and tells her where he'll be tonight. Then, he goes to Flasks and Mugs. The guards who are there are surprised to see him there. Many of them try to stand and salute, but with a wave of Anon's hand, they sit back down. He sits in a corner booth and orders a glass of bourbon and a steak platter. A few minutes later, the three 1st Lieutenants arrive. They order drinks and food before sitting with Anon.

"So, what do you have for us?" Red Sun asks.

"A lot," Anon responds as he pulls out a few castle maps.

Dark Lavender sighs, sounding annoyed. Anon raises an eyebrow.

"Is there something wrong?" he asks the thestral.

"No, sir. Security details are a pain," Dark Lavender grumbles.

"Believe me, it's no walk in the park for me either, but I have to. As I said earlier, we must be perfect, or I'll have to get an earful from Princess Celestia and every other noble in Equestria."

"I got you, General."

"We'll start with the castle entrance and courtyard, controlled by the 25th. There will be four guards on each side at the front gate. Down the pathway to the castle entrance, there will be twenty guards, ten guards on each side. We won't have any guards at the doors. There will be a red carpet down the center of the foyer. We'll have a guard on each side of the carpet every five feet. At every window in the foyer, we'll have two guards. Nine steps go up to a bit of a rise, then two sets of stairs, with one going left and one going right. Up the stairs, every three steps, there will be a guard standing next to the railing. On the first set of stairs, there will be six guards. We will have a guard at every window down the hall until we reach this set of doors."

"That still leaves 390 of the 25th unassigned," Red Sun says.

Anon points to the map and says, "The rest will patrol the area around the foyer. They will work in pairs. When all the guests arrive, the guards at the front will join patrol duty. As for the Solar Guards, they will do the same thing when it comes to the hallway going to the ballroom. Two guards will be at the door on each side. There will be two guards at each window. In the halls and area around the ballroom, patrols will operate in pairs, too. The Lunar Guards will guard the two courtyards outside. There will be two guards at the door and every window on the outside. Patrol sizes are the same."

"What do you want the NCOs to do?" Autumn Leaf asks.

"They will be walking around checking on the patrols. Every two hours, they will give you a report. Then, you guys give the reports to me since Commander Tempest is on leave."

"What if there is an incident?" Red Sun asks.

"If there is something suspicious, the guards can investigate at their discretion. They will need to notify their NCO immediately if something serious happens. Then, the NCO will need to notify you when you report to me. Of course, just in case, you'll have some backup from the rest of the Lunar Guard. In the event of an emergency, keep it on the down low because the last thing I need is a bunch of nobles pissing themselves. Are there any more questions?"

The 1st Lieutenants shake their heads.

"Perfect. We'll start practicing tomorrow," Anon says.

The officers finish their dinner and their drinks. They leave at 2200 hours to go to their respective rooms. When Anon arrives in his room, Celestia is already asleep. He removes his equipment and places them on his armor rack. He took a quick shower before going to bed. Anon tries his best not to wake up Celestia as he slips into bed, but she stirs and moans a little as she turns over.

"Mmm, you're home late," she whispers.

"I'm sorry, Tia," Anon responds.

He kisses Celestia on the lips before lying back down.

"Honey, I can smell the alcohol on your breath," Celestia teases.

"I bet you can taste it too," Anon chuckles.

Celestia wraps her forelegs around Anon's chest and lays her head on his chest. He strokes her mane until she falls back asleep. Before Anon closes his eyes, he kisses Celestia on the forehead. Then, he falls asleep.

It's the evening of the Grand Galloping Gala. Anon is ensuring his guards are in position and ready for the evening. The NCOs are also helping him. He checks the clock every few minutes as the time for the first guests approaches.

"T-minus ten minutes!! One last reminder: when an EAF member, retired or active, walks through those doors, salute them!!" Anon bellows.

Some guards shuffle around, ensuring everything is in working order. Anon goes to the rise, where he will stand with Princess Celestia as she greets the guests. Servants bustle around, completing their jobs and ensuring everything is perfect. A few minutes later, Princess Celestia arrives to stand with Anon.

She wears a bright pink dress with purple and white trim. She wears a much more expressive regalia than her usual tiara and shoes. On Celestia's chest is a broach of the Equestrian seal. Anon's uniform is blue with gold trim. He also has a blue tie. His medals and ribbons hang from the left side of his chest. A purple sash wraps around the midsection, signifying his officer status. His high cap is also blue with yellow trim. On the front is the Royal Guard Seal, two golden spears crossing with a Royal Guard helmet underneath.

"How do I look?" Anon asks.

"Very handsome. And me?" Princess Celestia replies.

"Beautiful, as always, Tia."

"Thank you."

"Hey, where's Luna? I haven't seen her all day."

"She is making sure the ballroom is ready."

"I'm glad she's getting more involved at the castle."

"Me, too. I was surprised by how enthusiastic she was about helping with the Gala this year, to be honest with you."

"That's interesting."

Then, the clock strikes 6:00 pm. The front gates open as the guards snap to attention. Princess Celestia notices one of Anon's medals is crooked. She taps Anon on the shoulder. He turns to her, and she uses her magic to straighten it with his tie. Anon thanks her before facing the doors again.

A servant by the door assigned to collect tickets announces the first guests.

"Please welcome, His Majesty, King Hoofammad al-Alamane, and his wife, Her Majesty, Queen Hanin!" she shouts.

The couple approaches Princess Celestia and Anon with smiles on their faces. They bow to Celestia, to which she returns the gesture.

"Assalam alikum," Anon says.

"Alaikum assalam," the couple replies.

They are surprised at Anon's ability to speak Saddlian. Not many ponies in Equestria can speak or understand the language.

"Welcome to Canterlot, Your Majesties," Princess Celestia greets.

"It is our pleasure to be here, Princess Celestia," Queen replies sweetly.

King Hoofammad turns to Anon and says, "You must be the famous General Anonymous I've been hearing about recently."

"Guilty as charged, Your Majesty," Anon replies.

"I've heard of your accomplishments. I must say, you've impressed me."

"Thank you. However, I believe my guard deserves most of the credit."

"You're welcome. I'd like to discuss tactics with you sometime this evening."

"It'd be an honor, Your Majesty."

The couple gives one final bow before walking up the stairs to the ballroom.

A few more guests arrive that Anon isn't familiar with. Some of them are celebrities, like Songbird Serenade, who, to Anon, resembles a singer from Earth named Sia. Some are nobles; some aren't too happy to see him standing Princess Celestia. One of them ignores Anon when he introduces himself. Another turns her nose at him with an audible "Hmph." It is one thing to treat him like that in front of his troops, where everyone, including the thestrals, could stare daggers that'd put the fear of God into the nobles, but it's another thing to do around Princess Celestia. Anon doesn't say anything about through Harmony.

About an hour later, the Elements arrive. All of them are happy to see Anon. Most of them hadn't seen Anon in his ceremonial uniform. Twilight and Rarity are the only ones. After them, Prince Shining Armor and Princess Cadance arrive. Anon is happy he's another friend he can talk to at this event. A little while later, Anon sees another familiar face approaching the castle—a friend's face.

"Please welcome, Retired Sergeant First Class Hard Cider of the Royal Guard!" the servant shouts.

All of the guards salute Hard Cider as he walks forward. When he approaches Princess Celestia and Anon, he salutes them both. They salute him back. Some nobles who arrive after Hard Cider are surprised that Celestia acted like a soldier rather than a "proper" princess. Anon kneels and hugs his friend.

"Wow, Anon, a General. I impressed. You look awesome. You've got some chest candy, too! You've got the Purple Hoof, Distinguished Celestial Sun Medal, and the Combat Ribbon!" he says.

"Thank you, Hard Cider. I see you also have the Purple Hoof and the Combat Ribbon."

"Yes, sir."

Then, Hard Cider turns to Princess Celestia.

"It's good to see you again, Your Highness," he says.

"You, as well, Sergeant First Class. I've heard a lot about you from General Anonymous," Princess Celestia replies.

"Good things, I hope."

"It depends on the day," Anon says.

The two share a laugh.

A few minutes later, Red Sun, Autumn Leaf, and Dark Lavender appear in a red flash. They give their first report. Anon nods and sends them back to their duties.

An hour later, the servant tells Princess Celestia that all the guests have arrived. Anon and Celestia walk to the ballroom while the Royal Guards in the foyer disperse to join the others on patrol. Classical music fills their ears as they walk closer. Eventually, they arrive—the two parted ways to talk to some guests. Anon goes to the food table first. He gets a glass of punch, deviled eggs, and horse d'oeurves. He makes his rounds to all of the Generals of the EAF and their wives. Once he is done talking to them, Anon goes to the dessert table. He takes the last slice of chocolate cake.

Wow, I wonder who took the rest of the cake, Anon thinks as he glances at Celestia, who's talking to Fancy Pants.

Then, he finds Hard Cider in one of the courtyards, talking to some retired Royal Guards. Anon doesn't talk much because he wants to listen to their stories. Most are eye-opening because of how different the EAF was twenty to thirty years ago. The amount of mares in the Royal Guard was only 10% when they served. Now, it is made up of around 22% mares. One of the guards, an elderly stallion, isn't amused by the increase of mares in the military. He claims it makes the branch softer and weaker. Of course, a few mares, including Rainbow Dash, who overheard that comment, are very angry. Four patroling Lunar Guards and a Sergeant had to escort him off castle grounds. This causes an uproar amongst some nobles, requiring Anon and Princess Luna to quiet them down. Eventually, they just return to their business with some grumbling.

Anon walks to the alcohol table and picks up a glass of champagne. Then, he goes over to a window and leans on its seal. If he's honest, the Grand Galloping Gala is lackluster. It's boring to him. Sure, he can talk to a few friends and eat fancy food, but he doesn't find this entertaining. He needs some excitement, and the Gala isn't it. He downs two more glasses when Shining Armor walks up to him. He stands on his hind legs and leans next to him.

"Some party, huh?" he grumbles.

"I have to say, the Gala is overrated. It's just a bunch of celebrities and nobles Kissing Celestia's ass the whole night," Anon replies.

"I hear you. Honestly, I don't know how Cadance puts up with this crap, especially with cheap alcohol. Plus, the food is too...fancy."

"I hear you on that."

The two stand there silently for a few minutes before Anon gets an idea.

"Hey, Shining, you want to get out of here?" Anon asks.

"Dude, I'm married," Shining Armor responds sheepishly.

"That's not what I meant. I meant, let's go hit up a bar. A few guards I know are going to this new nightclub in Sector 3."

"What is it called?"

"The Flashing Lights."

"Sure, why not? The night is still young."

They slip out of the ballroom and out of the castle. About twenty minutes later, the two arrive at the nightclub. The music can be heard from outside. Shining Armor gives Anon a strange look. He's never been to a dance club ever.

"You didn't tell me this dance club," he says.

"I didn't know it was, but that won't stop me. Let's have fun and get fucking wasted."

"You know what? To Tartarus with it. Let's go."

Anon and Shining Armor show their IDs to the bouncer, pay the 10-bit entrance fee, and walk in. The bass shakes them to their core. The lights and a giant disco ball flash and blink, making it difficult to see. The song that is playing is one that Anon recognizes, but the name is a little different. Instead of Where Them Girls At? by Flo Rida, it is Where Them Mares At? by Flow Rider. Anon and Shining Armor walk over to the bar and order a few glasses of Barrel Aged Bliss, a company local to Canterlot. They knock back the glasses and then order a few more.

A few of the guards in the bar recognize Anon and Shining Armor. They walk over to them.

"General?! Your Highness?!" the first guard, Corporal Iron Rod, a gray and black pegasus stallion, asks.

"What are you two doing here?!" the second pony, Private Valor Strike, a black and red Earth pony stallion, adds.

"We're loosening up a bit! The Gala was getting too stuffy for us!" Anon responds.

"Yeah! We needed to have...some real fun!" Shining Armor adds.

Anon raises an eyebrow. For a soldier, Shining Armor got tipsy quickly. Either way, as long as the drink keeps coming, Anon is okay with it.

"Hey, let us buy a round or two of any drink you want! It'd be an honor!" Valor Strike says.

"Sure. How about a round of Stalliongradian Jell-O shots?!" Shining Armor requests.

The two guards motion for the bartender to come over. He fills the orders. The guys knock back their drinks and then order another round. This time, Anon can feel his motor functions starting and becoming sluggish. He slowed his drinking down. Shining Armor must have the same thing in himself because he ordered a cheese pizza for him and Anon to share.

They started talking about their childhood and teenage years. This is the first time Anon has told anyone besides the Princesses about his past. This must have been due to the alcohol in his system. What is surprising is that Shining Armor relates to him on some level. He is the son of a lowly family at the bottom of the nobility totem pole who had to climb the ranks of the Canterlot elite to get where he is now.

"I see the work you've done! You were a handyman, fixing things for nobles who mostly treated you like shit! Now, you've got five suns on your shoulders!" Shining Armor continues.

"I wasn't always a handyman, you know!" Anon says.

"Oh?!"

"After high school, I worked as a landscaper! During high school, I was a DJ!"

"Hold on?! You did her job?!"

Shining Armor points to the DJ, who Anon recognized now that he got a good look at her. She's a mare named Vinyl Scratch. Anon nods as he takes another sip of bourbon.

"It was a long time ago, though! I wouldn't mind doing it again if I'm being honest!" Anon adds.

"I don't blame you. It looks fun!" Shining Armor says.

"It's one of those jobs where you have to start small and get bigger over time! That said, if you know someone in the industry, you can get a bigger and better job!"

"That's fair! I've got to take a piss! I'll be right back!"

Shining Armor steps down from his stool and walks to the bathroom. He's gone for several minutes, which concerns Anon. He almost gets up to check on him, but Shining Armor returns with the DJ.

"Oh, Vinyl! It's good to see you again!" Anon greets.

Vinyl grins and nods her head. They both exchange a hoofbump.

"So...what's up?!" Anon asks.

"I told her that you used to DJ! She wants to see what you've got!" Shining Armor responds.

"I told her you haven't done it in YEARS, but I'll try!"

Anon follows Vinyl Scratch to the booth on the stage in front of the dance floor. She gives Anon a look that says, "Have at it." What is surprising to Anon is the presence of a computer. He hasn't seen one since he got to Equestria. The equipment is a little more complex than Anon remembers, but he gets the hang of it. He turns his attention to the computer to look for a song and a song that he could transition to afterward. Anon finds the perfect song. He picks DJ Got Us Falling In Love Again by A-Major. He slips on the headphones and presses play.

Once the song begins, Anon lowers the bass's level and turns the treble up so the recognizable opening notes can be heard clearly. This is met with cheers and raised glasses. When the lyrics start, Anon increases the bass to 50% and decreases the midrange. A lot of the patrons start singing along. For the chorus, Anon turns everything up to 100%. He gets caught in the music and starts singing along. As the song ends, Anon transitions to the next song, Levels by Sound Waves. By this time, everyone had noticed that Anon was the DJ. This excited the crowd that the General of the EAF would come to entertain them. They buy Anon drinks and several rounds of drinks, including scotch, bourbon, vodka, and lager, as long as he keeps the music going. He doesn't want this to stop. This is the most alive he's felt since he arrived in Equestria. Anon feels like nothing in the world can stop him.

Back at the Gala, Princess Celestia is talking with her sister, Fancy Pants, and Fleur de Lis. They were discussing building soup kitchens in Manehattan and Bridlelyn. This idea has been in their heads for several months, but this is the first time they have had an opportunity to discuss it. Fancy Pants has a few locations picked out, as well. Luna brings up how to find the project when Princess Cadance walks up to Celestia. She taps her aunt on the withers.

"Oh, hello, Cadance. Is there something wrong?" Celestia says.

"Have you seen Shiny?" Cadance asks.

Celestia furrows her eyebrows as she scans the crowd.

"I haven't. Come to think of it, I haven't seen Anon either," she replies.

"I saw both of them standing over by that window a couple of hours ago, but they disappeared the next moment," Cadance says as she points to a window.

"Did you ask the Lunar Guards patrolling outside if they've seen him?"

"I did, but they haven't seen him, either."

"That's strange. It's unlike Anon or Shining Armor to leave without letting somepony know where they are going."

Right about then, the three 1st Lieutenants arrive. All of them have really concerned looks on their faces.

"Our most apologies, Princesses, but have you seen General Anonymous? We haven't been able to find him," Red Sun asks.

"There's no need to apologize, 1st Lieutenant Red Sun. We were wondering the same thing. It seems Prince Shining Armor is also missing," Princess Celestia assures.

"Let's go check with the guards in the hall. If they left the castle, those guards would know," Dark Lavender hisses.

The two princesses excuse themselves before following the officers outside the ballroom. Princess Celestia turns to face the two Solar Guards guarding the door. They share a mutual salute.

"Private, do you know where General Anonymous and Prince Shining Armor went?" she asks.

"Yes, ma'am, we did. They were talking about going to a bar as they were leaving the ballroom," the guard responds.

"Thank you, Private. In that case, Princess Cadance and I will search for Anonymous and Shining Armor ourselves. 1st Lieutenants, you are dismissed to continue your duties. Cadance, let's go," Celestia announces.

The two princesses disappear in a blue and yellow flash. The only thing that remains of them is their dresses on the floor. They reappear in front of Flasks and Mugs. However, there is an issue. It's closed like every other bar in Sector One due to the Grand Galloping Gala. Princess Celestia tries to think of all the bars that Anon and Shining Armor could have gone to. They aren't so stupid that they'd go to one of the seedy bars in Sectors 5 and 6. However, that leaves close to thirty bars, and Celestia is in no mood to go bar hopping. Then, she hears a voice. Her ears turn instinctually to the source. A mare, who's exceptionally drunk, is singing as she sways down the road. Celestia and Cadance walk over to the mare.

"Excuse me, ma'am?" Cadance says nervously.

The mare stops, and her eyes get big as the princess approaches.

"Oh! Cel-ce-Celestia Princhess and Princess Candadance. How...are you..twoooo?" the mare slurs.

"We are fine, thank you. Have you seen General Anonymous and Prince Shining Armor anywhere?" Candance asks.

"Oh, yeah! I di-did. They are...at Flashing Lights on Wonder-sholt Sheet."

"Thank you so much. Your help is much appreciated."

The two princesses take flight. A few minutes later, they find the nightclub.

The bouncer is shocked when the princesses land in front of him. He bows before them and lets them inside without checking their IDs, not that they had any, and without making them pay an entrance fee.

Almost immediately, they are bothered by the blinding flashing lights and loud music. No one really notices them after entering because of a big commotion. Said commotion is Shining Armor competing in a drinking contest with a Solar Guard he knew in his Royal Academy days. He's drinking a pint-sized mug full of bourbon.

"CHUG!! CHUG!! CHUG!! CHUG!!" he crowd chats.

Shining Armor slams the mug down on the table in front of him and nearly loses his balance. What surprises Celestia is seeing Anon DJing. His high cap and jacket are hanging off the booth, and his tie is around his head. In his hand is a bottle of vodka. He's drunk, but he is in more control of himself than Shining Armor. Not only that, Anon is having fun, too. Celestia smiles a little, but she remembers she needs to get him out of the club before Anon does something stupid. The "how" is going to be more difficult, starting with getting his attention.

Celestia doesn't say anything that makes her stand out, but a white mare with a light and dark blue mane who is wearing sunglasses indoors, for some reason, walks up to Anon. She taps him on the leg. He looks down at the mare, then back up. Then, he notices Celestia. His grin disappears. Anon rather clumsily steps down from the booth. He puts on the rest of his uniform before getting Shining Armor, who is on the verge of passing out. Anon leads him to the Princesses. By this point, everyone in the club has noticed the two princesses standing there. Cadance is grinning nervously on her face, trying to play her embarrassment down.

"Suuuup," Anon slurs.

"Oh, hey, honey," Shining Armor giggles.

"Let's go home, you two," Celestia says as she ignites her horn.

In a bright yellow flash, all four are gone. They reappear inside the castle. Right about then, Celestia remembers Anon isn't immune to the effects of teleportation. She winces when she hears him run to an open window and start vomiting out of it. Seeing Anon vomit doesn't help Shining Armor because he turns green and then goes to join Anon in throwing up. Eventually, they finish and stumble over to their significant others.

"Shining Armor, what in Equestria were you thinking?!" Cadance snaps.

"What? I need to...cut loose. Do you know...know how long it's been since I've had a..dr-drink? Tartarus knows you...won't let me?" Shining Armor replies.

"You are the Prince of the Crystal Empire, for goodness sake, and you are acting like a colt."

"It's not...that bad. I feel great."

"I'm sure you do. Let's get you to bed. We'll finish this conversation tomorrow. Anonymous, help him, please."

"Urk...m'kay," Anon says.

Much to the Princesses' surprise, Anon picks up Shining Armor and puts him across his shoulders like a scarf. He stumbles a little before regaining his balance. Then, they start walking to Princess Celestia's quarters.

"Your wife is a....fucking prude," Anon says.

"No, she isn't. Cadance just worries...ab-about me," Shining Armor replies.

"If you say so. You w-want to loosen...up, and she comes in..and f-fucks it up. You let her walk all over you. I'm convinced you are...a bottom."

"I-I'm not...a bottom. I'm a...switch kinda pony, and so is Cadance. Some nights, she...likes to get...her world r-rocked. Some nights, she likes...putting me in...my place, if you know what I mean."

Cadance is blushing hard. She feels as if the sun itself is hanging over her. Never in her life did she think her sex life would be exposed like this, especially to her aunt. Celestia is also trying not to react, but her mask is slipping fast.

"Now, I... I... can't do any of that anymore," Shining Armor says.

"Why? You can't get it up anymore?"

"Nooo. My dick works. It's just that Cadance is...preg-pregnant. Don't tell Twily, though."

Celestia looks at Cadance. Her eyes are full of surprise due to the news.

"Surprise," Cadance says sheepishly.

"When were you planning on telling me you were pregnant?" Celestia asks.

"Literally tomorrow. Just don't tell Twilight anything just yet. I have something special planned on how to tell her."

The group walks in silence mainly because Celestia is trying to process that she's going to be a great-aunt and because Cadance is the first pregnant alicorn in over 9,000 years.

"If you...ever need some tips on...fucking, just send....a letter," Anon continues.

"What would you...know? You do-don't have a marefriend," Shining Armor says.

"Ha! That's...what you think, man."

"Oh? Who's the unlucky...mare?"

"Sun...Sunbutt. Let me tell you, she likes it when I take the reigns. Did you know she likes doggy style? Kinda kinky if you ask me."

Now, it's Celestia's turn to be embarrassed. Cadance is shocked to hear about her aunt even having relations like that. She always saw Celestia as a calm and composed mare. It was rare for her to deviate from that, and that usually involved her indulging herself in chocolate cake.

"Surprise?" Celestia says.

"How long has that been going on?" Cadance asks.

"Two years."

"TWO YEARS?!"

Anon and Shining Armor wince as Cadance's Canterlot voice shoots pain through their heads. They groan as their ears continue to ring.

"I'm assuming this is another crown secret," Cadance says.

"You'd be right. Not even Twilight knows about us. Only Luna and Raven Inkwell are privy to the information. Make sure that Shining Armor understands that when he's sober."

"I will. I promise."

"When they arrive at Princess Celestia's quarters. They manage to get Shining Amor somewhat able to stand on his hooves without falling over. Cadance sighs.

"Are you going back to the Gala?" Celestia asks.

"No, I'm going to make sure Shiny doesn't throw up all over the place. What about you?" Cadance responds.

"Unfortunately, yes, after I get Anon settled. I still have to keep appearances and all of that nonsense. Plus, I don't know how long Luna can keep hers."

"I understand that. While you handle the nobles, I'll have a guard check Anon every hour."

"I appreciate that, Cadance. Thank you."

"Congratulations on your relationship with Anon."

"Congratulations on your baby. Goodnight, Candace."

"Goodnight, Auntie."

Author's Note

Hello, everyone. This chapter was more of a fun chapter rather than a mainline story chapter. You could call this a filler chapter. The next chapter will continue with the next arc in Anon's story, changing his life forever. Only time will tell.

At this point in the story, Anon has been in Equestria for 6.5 years and has been in the Royal Guard for 5.5 years.

Also, read my new story called The Elemental Bounty Hunter. Tell me your thoughts once you get a chance. Here's the link.
The Elemental Bounty Hunter - Fimfiction

As for the next chapter's title spoiler, here it is: Chapter 19: First Strike.