Author's Note

Shorter Chapter today guys. This will conclude our little break from the Pacific and continue the arc.

Just a silly little competition I had some fun writing. I know these last couple chapters have been a great departure from the serious undertones of the first several, but I figured it would be nice to get the spirits back up a little.

If you enjoyed this chapter, please leave a comment if you feel like it.

Alright then, Ch.11 (Gosh are we at 11 chapters already?): "Skirmishing" with the Locals

(I'll probably end up changing the title. Not sure if it sticks)

Ch.11: "Skirmishing" with the Locals

All things considered, this competition was going quite smoothly. That might have this in the bag!

PLUSH! WAP! GLOOSH!

Ok, scratch that. Things just got bad .

James felt his legs do his patented 'run like a bitch' move, dragging Luna along with him by her hand. Seriously, with all his combat experience, how had he let the "enemy" get the drop on him?

PLUSH!

"Hot damn, that was really close. Are they even trying to hit Luna?" he asked himself.

Luna was barely ducking, watching the harmless balloons sail right over her towards her charge. He turned around to catch who was trying to get them. James spied a particularly devilish-looking lime unicorn evilly grinning at him from the stairs of a fire exit, whipping a pristine blue water balloon straight at his face with her magic. He ducked down just in time, pulling the Lunar Princess down with him.

"Apparently not...," he grumbled to himself, "Stupid ponies and their love for their princess."

Well, that mare is definitely going on his list of ponies to take out. He flipped her off as they rounded the alley corner's exit, narrowly dodging another balloon thrown by her earth pony teammate.

Really, considering his combat experience, he was shocked with how he let those ponies get the drop on them. With how loud pony hooves are on metal and paved roads, anyone with the mental acuity of a concussed chihuahua could have heard them coming. He made a silent note to himself to get his ears checked out.

The scene before them reflected a hellish chaos of the funnest degree. Bands of ponies warred through the street, taking cover in whatever piece of solid they could find. Stretchy, colorful balloon debris lay limply in the paved, white streets with the warm evening sun beating down on them, draining some of their saturation. Pegasus dove, dipped, and dodged around, hovering close to the ground and slapping balloons towards their enemies with their wings. He saw one clever, lithe Pegasus mare using a garbage lid she had found to deflect any watery ammunition thrown her way. Unicorns blasted their horns with magic as they catapulted the deadly ordinance towards their opponents from behind their cover. He chuckled at some of their outfits, a couple wearing a goofy-looking camouflage and war paint on their furry cheeks.

Screeches, laughing, and grumbles pierced his ears, seeing big smiles wiped across the pony's faces as they 'fought' each other. Those who were eliminated were walking back to the staging area, laughing and conversing with each other happily. It was an adorable sight and he would have stopped to observe if they weren't being 'shot' at.

"We need to get high ground," he yelled to Luna.

"Duck in here! Maybe we can lose the others," she gestured to another alleyway.

Seeing no other choice, he did as he was told, crouching into the alley and slumping down beside a rancid smelling dumpster as he formulated a plan. Luna maintained a certain distance from the cover, opting instead to squat down in front of him than to hug the dumpster.

"Are we allowed onto the roofs? That'd be a perfect spot to pick off the stragglers," he inquired of Luna.

"I don't see why not. Fair Applejack did not say it wasn't allowed," she replied, adjusting a few strands of ethereal hair out of her face.

He picked out a fire escape staircase, the black, flaking paint of the metal barely glistening from the light illuminating the alley.

"Alright, let's get up there," he pointed to the ladder as he jogged over to it, "I'll go up first to make sure it's safe to climb and then you can follow."

He leaped up, grabbing the 7th handlebar of the ladder and began clambering his way up the ladder. The structure screeched, the old metal adjusting to the new weight thrust upon it. It shook from the heavy footfalls of the tall man, his feet banging on the handles as he pulled himself upward.

Luna only smirked as she watched him hurriedly claw his way up the stairs. Flexing her wings, she gave a big flap of her wings as she hovered on up.

As she passed him, he stopped on a stair and leaned on the railing with an expression that can only be described as quiet frustration.

"Stupid pony princesses and their wings...," he muttered to himself as he continued his laborious trek up the fire exit.

Coming to the final platform just below the roof he stood in front of a window, mantling himself up to the top, awkwardly swinging his legs over the side, and setting himself down on the gravely floor.

He spotted Luna hugging the side of a skylight, preparing her slingshot with a balloon in the cup.

PLUSH!

Across the gap on the roof of the other building, a group of young adult pegasi lobbed the aquatic ordinance towards them rapidly, although quite inaccurately to boot.

James dove out of the way of the near miss, scraping his hands a little as he landed on the hard floor. Regaining his composure in a split second, his training kicked in as he army-crawled his way to Luna, slumping up against the wall with her.

"Seems these guys had the same idea as us," he wheezed, pulling out his own slingshot and loading it with a balloon.

"Indeed. That brown earth pony has been most voracious in trying to eliminate me," she smirked, popping out of her cover and letting the slingshot fly. Milliseconds later, a loud PLUSH! and annoyed DAMMIT! told her that her aim was true.

"Ooh, these are really fun!" she held up her slingshot with a satisfied grin.

"That they are. Reminds me of when I was a boy hunting squirrels with Arles," he peaked over cover, dodging out of the way of a shot, and let fly his response. It cantered the side landing a good 4 feet in front of his target and splattering over the rocky floor of the roof, "Looks like my aim isn't what it used to be though."

Luna shot again, this time hitting her poor target across the cheek with some force. The young adult stumbled backwards, holding their cheek a little.

"Sorry fair citizen!" Luna apologized, waving her hand just above the cover.

"It's alright, your Majesty," the stallion grunted back, taking his leave down through the building out of the arena.

James eyed Luna with slight intrigue, "You know, for a head of state, you are awfully casual with your citizens," letting another balloon fly off of his slingshot.

"Twilight's been encouraging me to be more personable with the public. Seeing that they are smiling and laughing instead of whimpering and cowering," she grunted in frustration, a balloon she had loaded into the cup exploding in her face, "I prefer it this way."

She wiped the water out of her now damp fur, shaking it off onto the ground. While she did, James let loose another balloon towards the final two opponents hovering around on their side. This time, his aim was true, slamming into the stomach of a teal pegasus stallion.

The remaining stallion, now alone, chose to abandon his position on the roof and disengage from the fight. He dipped off the side, mantling over the stone edges of the roof and presumably floated down to the floor, out of sight from the duo.

"Huh," he started, "That went well."

He scratched his arm while walking out of cover, "I think he's gone, Lu. Y'all can come out now."

She was a little unsure, more hesitant to step out for fear of the pegasus doubling back to get them. After a few seconds of creeping out from her makeshift skylight cover, Luna stood back up at her full height, a satisfied grin covering her face.

"Goddess, that was thrilling! The intensity, the exhilaration, the primal urge to compete and win! Oh, I haven't felt this way in years!" she jumped a little in excitement.

"We're not out of the woods yet. There's plenty of other contestants to be eliminated down on the street," he informed her while walking over to the side and readying his slingshot once more.

Luna, realizing their opportunity, quickly joined him on the side, peering down at the street a few stories under them.

Most of the previous contestants they once saw had been eliminated, the street now a mostly vacant, cluttered mess of a road. Bits and pieces of balloons were scattered all around like a confetti cannon had blown its load. Damp, wet spots peppered the littered street randomly, aftermaths of the watery bombs detonating on its floor. A few errand crumpled newspapers blew in the wind. From up above they could see a few stragglers skirmishing in the streets, both sides using trash cans, closed-down street carts, and lamp posts as cover. While they were shielded from each other, their hastily-acquired shelters provided no protection from the onslaught the duo was about to unleash.

In other words, it was a turkey shoot. They went to work, their fire accurately eliminating all who opposed them. Some tried to return fire but were met with a hailstorm of precisely aimed liquid death. A small crowd of ponies were slowly walking their way out of the arena. Soon, no more contestants lay before them, only a pile of detonated balloon scrap.

"Shoot, did we get all 'em?" he breathed as he kept a watchful eye over the arena.

"I don't know. Let us descend to the lower ground and look," she said, mantling over the side and floating herself down on her wings.

"Dangit, wait for me woman!" he clambered down the fire exit after her.

Jumping off the ladder and landing with a grunt, he crouched down out of instinct and walked over to where Luna was. She was splayed against the wall of the alley while she periodically surveyed the now empty street.

"I think we've won," she crept out slowly, a small, satisfied smile trying to slink onto her face, but was restrained.

The two hesitantly slithered towards the middle of the street, ammo at the ready for some elaborately laid ambush. Their heads were on a swivel, eyes darting to every window, roof, and piece of cover they could find. The duo walked as quietly as they could to the center before relaxing, seeing no other contestants left at their side of the arena.

"Shoot," James hollered in his mountain accent, "I think we've got this little shindig in the bag!"

"I wouldn't be too sure about that," a voice interjected.

"Dammit, I just had to run my mouth..." he hung his head, turning around to face this new voice that so rudely interrupted his victory.

Standing before him, at a hand-length shorter than him, was Celestia, a water balloon armed and at the ready. Ducking out from behind her cover, Twilight joined the confrontation, she also ready to dispense glorious balloon goodness upon the Lunar Princess and her date.

"Et tu, Celestia?" Luna shot an accusatory finger towards her sister.

"Now now, no need to be rude, little sister. I must thank you for eliminating our little ponies from the contest. It would've been exhausting having to throw that much ammo at them, but you two came along and did the job for me. Bravo," she had a smug smile that betrayed a bit of whimsy, her eyes reflecting this notion, "And now that everyone else is gone, that only leaves two loose ends. Guess this is the end of the line for the both of you."

Luna laughed mockingly, answering her in a hint of playfulness in her voice, "You are most mistaken dearest sister. The only end I see is your fat, cake-filled rump eating my watery justice," she hefted a balloon into her slingshot.

"Princess Celestia's behind is not fat. It is shapely and nice-looking!" Twilight interjected, quick to defend her idol and mentor.

"Careful there, Twilight. You go any deeper, your nose'll get brown," James snarked.

"Hey!"

"Anyway," Celestia interrupted, "We'll be taking home that cider, so I suggest you pick the easy way and walk out on your own. I'd hate to sully that beautiful mane of yours."

"Thank you Celestia, but I'm afraid I can't do that," Luna replied, a whimsical twinkle in her eye.

"Then I'm afraid you leave me no choice," Celestia, with a similar gleam in her eye, whipped the balloon towards her, the golden glow of her magic exploding the balloon forwards while somehow not detonating it. The projectile screamed as it ripped its way through the air towards the blue alicorn.

Luna barely dodged out of the way, sidestepping just in the nick of time, and threw her own in retaliation. It landed with a loud PLUSH! signaling its failure to hit.

James, similarly, readied his slingshot, whipping the string back with a mighty pull. As the cord left the gentle grasp of his fingers, the force from the throw caused it to prematurely explode, showering the man's face in the clear liquid. He gasped and grunted, the water blinding his eyes and stinging them a little. He wildly wiped at his eyes while backpedaling away, desperate to give himself some sort of advantage before the likely counterattack.

Said counterattack did happen as he saw a faint white blob lob a shot at him, missing just in front of his feet and landing with a muffled SPLAT! Thankfully, the near miss gave him enough time to restore his vision, quickly taking in his surroundings.

Luna was standing off to the side now as well as Twilight, a large wet spot darkening the fabric of her shirt and causing it to cling to her. Luna cupped her hands around her mouth, "James, it's up to you now!" She pointed her finger towards Celestia who was advancing towards him quite briskly.

"Crap!" he reached into his satchel, desperately clawing for the final shot that would win them the competition, but felt nothing but empty air. He looked into the cloth bag, only to find nothing!

Looking back up, Celestia looked like a high school linebacker ready to make the sack and she was closing in.

"Am I really about to grapple with a princess who controls the sun?"

Apparently yes!

The porcelain white alicorn barreled into him like a bus, James just holding onto his balance as he backpedaled from the 130lbs of weight he just took. She lowered her torso down, trying to minimize her frame, and placed her hands on his stomach. trying to push him. He took a swift look back and realized how close he was to the border of the arena.

And he also realized, in his blind stupor trying to figure things out, she had nearly pushed him there!

Not wanting to go down without a fight, he shoved back against her, his palm straining against her collarbone as he slowly pried the sun goddess off of him. Losing her position, she gripped his arms near the shoulder and renewed her assault.

He looked down at her in disbelief as he actually began to lose some ground. He strained his muscles, planting his heels as firmly as he could into the road.

"Damn, Celestia is freaking strong!"

She had a slight smile, not malicious, but in anticipation of an approaching victory. A glint of playfulness in her eye relaxed him a little, but she certainly didn't let up on her assault. In fact, she threw even more of herself into him, desperate to claim that last inch of ground before the prize was hers.

Thinking quickly, instead of continuing to fight a losing battle, he began to pull him towards him. Stepping out of the way, he planted his foot in front of her legs and tripped her, the momentum taking care of the rest as she stumbled over his leg.

She caught herself, barely keeping herself from taking an involuntary road nap, and turned back around to face him. She gazed down at the line of chalk that marked the outside of the arena, a respectful grin upon her face.

"It appears I have been bested," she conceded, giving a small bow.

"Ah reckon so. No hard feelings Celly?" he inquired.

"Oh, of course not! That was so exciting!" she smiled, giving him a handshake.

"Great! But damn woman, you've got some muscles underneath all that. You been working out?" he clutched his shoulder and rolled the joint to stretch it out.

"I suppose one must keep themselves in good shape if they want to move a star around the heavens," she shrugged, a little sarcasm laced into her speech.

It was at this moment that another ball of child-like energy came crashing into him, "We did it! We did it! We did it! We won!"

Luna clutched his sides in a crushing bearhug, squeezing him like a toothpaste roll.

"HRK, AIR- LUNA!" he choked out, prying the Lunar Princess off his sides and gasping for air.

"Luna, my goodness, you squeeze him anymore, you'll make his innards burst," Celestia reprimanded.

She restrained herself, if only a little, and bounced in place while the man caught his breath.

"So," he started, "Where do we get our prize?"

"I believe we must talk to Applejack. That glorious nectar of apples will be ours!" she cheered as she grabbed his hand and pulled him along.

He resisted lightly, "Still on for tea, Tia?"

"Of course. I'll stop by sometime this week after classes," she smirked at her sister's frantic excitement, "I'll see you two later. Luna, see you back at the castle."

He waved, finally giving in and letting him be led to their prize. Luna shot off like a methed-out beagle, dragging him along with him.

"Boy, what a day," he chuckled to himself as he was dragged along.

"What a day indeed."