Netflix and Chill? No, not like THAT!

by Fable Caster

Rating: teen
Tags: Profanity, Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Human, Original Character
Length: 9041

Another day, another failed job application... In other words, Andy is having a bad one. Luckily his equine housemates are there to brighten it up.

Another day, another failed job application... In other words, Andy is having a bad one. Luckily his equine housemates are there to brighten it up.

A Ponies on Earth story.

CW: This story touches upon subjects of depression and mental health.

Profanity: Our resident human drops a couple of bad words, but nothing too excessive.

[Rated T for some saucy humor and bad language.]

[Featured on 22.02.2021; Thanks for all the love, everyone!]

Published 2021-02-21 14:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2021-02-21 14:50:01 UTC

The First And Only Chapter

Letting out a groan of frustration through gritted teeth, I bring my fist down on the surface of the computer desk; hard. The impact knocks over the pencil holder and jostles the various pieces of decorative knickknacks I have on the desk, a single pencil rolling all the way off and clattering onto the floor.

On the screen of my computer, staring back at me almost as if mocking me, is the email that is the root and source of my foul mood.

Dear mister Anders.

We thank you for your interest--

It's another day, another failure at securing a job. These bastards were nice enough to send me an email, even if it is as boiler plate and cookie cutter as can be. At least they copypasted the right name into their rejection mail. Unlike that one place... I had to call them to make sure I had indeed been rejected and the person I spoke to didn't even bother to apologize for the hassle!

I consider deleting the rejection email, but ultimately think better of it and just file it into the appropriate folder I've made for them; just in case the employment agency wants to pester me again about still being unemployed after all these months.

I lean back in my chair, stretch my back and rub my face vigorously with my hands, trying to shake away the frustration. I attain, at best, limited success.

Walking usually lets me clear my head, especially if I can lose myself listening to some fun audio drama while I'm at it, and I consider doing just that. My hopes of a nice, long walk are dashed, however, after just one look out of the window. It's snowing. Not even just a little drizzle, no, but a proper downpour... And it's all sleet, too! A quick check on a weather forecast website confirms that's going to be the state of things for most of today and good bit of tomorrow morning, too. Great. Just great... I silently curse Murphy and his law to the lowest pit of Hell.

I spend the next fifteen minutes staring at the list of games I have installed on my computer, but in the end I don't feel like conjuring up the effort required to play any of them. Right, mindless YouTube entertainment it is, then.

***

The sound of keys turning in the front door's lock snaps me out of the almost trance-like state I've sunken into. A quick glance at the computer's clock tells me it's quarter past four. Oops! Where did the last four hours go?!

“Wilma, I'm ho-ome!” I hear the unmistakably chipper voice of Silver Comet call out from the vestibule of the house. I knew letting that unicorn see The Flintstones last night was a mistake... Ah, the things I do to get my regular fix of retro nostalgia; I'm a kid of the 90s through and through after all.

“If you expect me to tackle you to the ground and start licking your face, you're going to be sorely disappointed,” I call out back to him over my shoulder and hear him chuckle heartily.

Moments later I hear his hooves clopping on the floor towards my room and I swivel around on my chair to meet him. I'm greeted by the sight of a smiling grayish blue stallion with a short, neat, swept-back spiky mane and tail of white which both have a single, just barely visible stripe of silver in them.

“Andy, buddy!” he greets me cheerily and offers up his hoof for a bump; a gesture I'm more than happy to respond to.

His tie, an unremarkable thing of shiny beige and purple stripes, already hangs only loosely around his neck. I know he hates having to wear the damn thing, but office dress code is office dress code, I suppose. At least they don't make him wear an entire suit at... Damn, I forget the name of the company. Should really check up on that at some point.

“Had a good day at the office?” I ask him casually, returning his smile as well as I can muster.

“Oh yeah,” he practically beams at me, “I think I finally nailed down how to type using eight styluses simultaneously. I can now write as fast as you humans can using that touch typing technique.”

I let out a low whistle. From what Silver has been telling me, it takes a good bit of concentration to levitate multiple objects simultaneously. Even more so if you're doing something precise with them.

“Damn, dude. That's awesome!”

“I know, right?” he replies before reaching a hoof up to gingerly touch the horn on his head, his smile melting into a bit of a pained grin. “Literal pain in the horn, though, but I think it's just a matter of getting used to it, like practicing your muscles for a sport. Either that, or I'll be making some pharmacy very happy with constant, massive purchases of headache medication.”

“Just... Don't go and overdo it, Silver.”

He waves a hoof dismissively and gives me an amused roll of his ice-blue eyes. “Fine, fine. I'll try not to, you worrywart. Speaking of you. How was your day?”

“Ehhh...” I reply whilst making noncommittal wibbly-wobbly gestures with one hand.

“That good, huh?”

I swivel around with my chair and open up the email I got, rolling the chair then sideways out of the way to show it to him. “Got one of these today. Plus two more places that were supposed to contact me if I made it to the next round of interviews, but shock and awe, I haven't heard a single damn peep from them either. Guess that means I didn't make the cut. Again.”

Silver trots over to the computer, scans through the email quickly and then turns to give me a sympathetic smile. “At least these ones sent you a message. And they got your name right, too.”

“Yeah... But that doesn't change the fact it's just another impersonal, cookie cutter, copypaste message. Getting really tired of this constant BS.”

“You just haven't found the right place yet, Andy. Patience is a virtue~” He practically sing-songs the latter sentence.

I give a wan smile in return, turning then to just stare at the email once more in silence.

“Okay,” he begins, patting me on the thigh with a hoof to get my attention once more, “I know just the perfect cure for a sour mood: Netflix and chill!” He makes the proclamation proudly with one forehoof raised skywards.

I, meanwhile, can just about feel the proverbial wrench bringing the gears in my head to a grinding, screeching halt upon hearing his words. A heat rises on my face in what must be the mother of all blushes as I turn to look him in the eyes, searching for any hint that he's joking.

Nope. Not a single hint of a joke on his face, just that innocent, cheery smile of his. I manage to gather my wits enough to work my jaw like a goldfish on dry land, though no sound yet escapes from me aside from a tiny little squeak.

My absolutely flabbergasted expression clearly confuses and worries him and he tilts his head to one side in that adorable way these magical talking ponies tend to do, one ear flopping as he says, “W-What? Andy, buddy, please use your words and talk to me.”

“Do you...” I manage at length, my eyes still probably wide as saucers. Then the hammer of realization hits me. Oh boy... He probably doesn't know what, exactly, he just went and suggested!

I begin again after clearing my throat, “Do you know what you just said to me, Silver?”

“Ummm...”

“What do you think you did say, then?”

“The same thing we do several times a week? Watch things from that Netflix service and just... Unwind and relax on the couch. Unwinding and relaxing are the very definition of 'chilling', correct?” I can see a faint rosy hue rising on his cheeks as well in mounting embarrassment.

Yup, he clearly has no idea what he just went and said to me. Bless his pure, innocent equine heart, he must've heard the term somewhere and taken it literally.

“Silver,” I begin and then pause to take a steadying breath, trying to maintain a neutral expression despite the grin that's tugging at the corners of my mouth. I bet his expression will be worth seeing when I drop this bombshell of information on him. “Netflix and chill is a slang term and it means... Well, it's a kind of circumspect way of suggesting having sex with someone.”

His whole body stiffens, his eyes go wide and the faint blush he had flares up until his whole face is practically tomato-red. “O-Oh... We-well that would explain the strange looks I got from my co-workers during lunch.”

“What did you do?” I ask, my tone that of a parent or a pet owner whose ward has just done something they shouldn't have.

“I heard Peter mention that he was going to suggest some of that 'Netflix and chill' thing to his girlfriend this weekend. The others at the table seemed to approve of this, so I mentioned that, well... That I enjoy that particular activity several times a week with my housemates.”

I can't keep my pokerface up any longer. I break into a nigh-hysterical belly laugh, almost sliding off my chair as I gasp and wheeze for breath.

By the time I've managed to recover, wiping tears of mirth from my eyes, I see Silver is sitting on the floor with his forehooves crossed over his chest and his cheeks puffed in what has to be the most adorable pout in the history of ever.

“Yeah, yeah... Laugh it up why don't you,” he grumbles, the blush on his face still clearly visible and, if possible, even more bright red.

“S-Sorry, Silver, but you have to admit that is pretty fucking funny,” I reply whilst reaching over to pat him on the shoulder. My sides ache from all the laughing, but it's a good pain. I really needed that.

“First of all: language, mister!” he says whilst fixing me with a stern gaze from the corner of his eye. Slowly, then, his frown melts into a smile and he gives a little chuckle before adding, “But yeah, now that you mention it, that is pretty funny. Oh boy... The next few days are probably going to be really, really awkward at the office.”

“Only if you let them be.”

“Huh?”

I reach over to tousle his mane a little. “You just have to own it, now. Act like it's no big deal that you have wild, raunchy threesomes with your housemates on the regular. Don't actively bring it up in conversation though. If someone else brings it up, deflect casually if you can and just own it if you can't. They'll drop it eventually. You might, however, walk away with the reputation of either a Casanova or a sex fiend, and that's something you'll just have to live with. Or would you rather admit to making a mistake and confessing your ignorance of human culture and lingo?” I finish with my best roguish smile and a raised eyebrow.

He ponders my words for a moment, tapping his chin with one hoof before mirroring the devilish smile I have with one of his own. “By Celestia's sun-kissed throne, you make a terrifying amount of sense, Andy. Okay then, I'll follow your advice! If nothing else, it should be good for a few chuckles.”

“Just lemme know how that one progresses, okay?”

“Count on it, buddy.”

A silence, though not an uncomfortable one, settles into the room. Silver is the first one to break it.

“Sooo... You still want to watch some Netflix with me? I've been waiting all darned day to be able to just get off my hooves, relax and watch some more of that 'Star Trek' show.”

“Yeah, sure. I'd love to. Want me to make some sandwiches to snack on while we watch?” I reply, choosing not to poke any more fun at his little verbal mistake.

He perks up immediately at that and practically shoots up onto his hooves, that warm smile of his right back where it belongs. “Please and thank you. I'm starving! Oh... What's our dinner policy for tonight? Will you be cooking something again?”

“Nah, not tonight,” I say with a shake of my head. “Willow said she'd be picking something up from our regular Chinese take-away joint on her way home. She said that they'd updated their menu and she was dying to try some of the new things out.”

“I can live with that. She knows what I like, anyways,” he nods.

“Is it any wonder that she does? You two are basically inseparable,” I say as I stand up from the chair and together we head onward to the living room.

I still find it hard to believe Willow, or Willow Song as her full name goes, and Silver aren't a couple; or so they keep insisting. They have to be the most couple-iest non-couple that I've ever seen! Nor are they related. “Just foalhood friends,” as Willow put it when they first moved in with me.

How the tables have turned over the course of the year that I've known them... Originally they moved in as subtenants to my house, having just emigrated from Equestria through the portal that opened up at, of all places, Stonehenge. Silver once explained to me that the portal's location had something to do with “leylines” or whatever. I... Tend to blank out when he starts talking magical jargon to me; it's just too baffling for my poor non-magical human brains to handle.

Then, about six months ago, I lost my job... Company had to cut costs and, just my luck, I was let go. Silver and Willow had found steady jobs by then and had saved enough money to move into a bigger place. Without a job I wasn't going to be able to hold on to my old house for too long, so they kindly invited me in as a subtenant for their new place and at a very reasonable price, too. Heck, they would've let me stay for free, but I insisted on paying at least something.

Upon entering the kitchen, I snap out of my thoughts. I gather the ingredients I need and set to work. Wholegrain bread, a bit of margarine, lettuce, tomato, cucumber and sliced mozzarella with just a touch of rock salt and freshly-ground pepper for flavor. Another buttered-up slice of bread on top, cut into triangles and... done! It's nothing too fancy, but tasty nonetheless.

“Yo Silver! What do you want to drink with your sandwich?” I shout into the living room.

“Do we still have orange juice?”

I check the fridge and, yes indeed, there's an almost full carton! I plonk it on the table next to a pair of glasses and shout back a simple “Yup!”

“That, then. Thanks!”

I load up the two plates and the two glasses filled with OJ onto a serving tray, thankful that we have one to begin with, and head off into the spacious living room. Most of the room is dominated by a massive, light gray sectional sofa which, if needed, can be opened up for even more space to laze on. A small coffee table next to the sofa, a couple of armchairs that match the couch and a large flatscreen TV form the rest of the furnishing. And a fireplace, of course. Silver and Willow were very particular about getting a house with an actual fireplace, for whatever reason.

I place the tray down on the coffee table, noting that Silver has already made himself comfy by curling up in one corner of the couch, legs partially tugged under his body and his head resting against a stack of pillows. He's also finally done away with his tie, having clearly just discarded it onto the table haphazardly.

“Dig in,” I say with a smile, gesturing at the sandwich I made for him before grabbing the remote and navigating to Netflix, Silver having been kind enough to already turn on the TV.

He nods his thanks and gingerly levitates one half of his sandwich over to himself, keeping it firmly wrapped in the ice-blue aura of his magic to prevent any crumbs from falling onto the couch. It's his ability to do things like that which make me kind of envious of him, but at the same time... I'm not sure I'd want to trade having hands for magic. I greatly enjoy my opposable thumbs, thank you very much.

Idly I click through the Netflix menus until I get to the “continue watching” section, select Star Trek: The Next Generation and hit play. Another blast from my past, another fix of good ol' nostalgia for this junkie. I'm just glad Silver likes the show as much as I do.

We watch through an episode in companionable silence, munching happily on our sandwiches.

“Oof... Pause, pause, pause. I need to use the little stallions' room,” Silver exclaims just as the next episode is about to begin.

“Sure thing, man. Don't take too long, though! If memory serves, this is one of my favorite episodes.”

He hauls himself off the couch and towards the downstairs bathroom, leaving me to sit on the couch in silence. I instinctively reach for my phone, only to realize I must've left it on my computer desk. I debate whether or not I should go and get it, but Silver will be back soon most likely and so laziness prevails in the end.

“And that's just the problem, isn't it? Your own laziness. Yeah, that's why you can't get a job. You aren't good enough, loser!” the nagging voice in my head interrupts my thoughts.

…

Fuck. Not now...

I try to chase the dark thoughts away by focusing on something, anything else, but they persist. On a rational level I know those intrusive thoughts are wrong about me, but with my mental health history being what it is... They resonate in a terrifyingly convincing manner on an emotional level.

Leaning back I bury my face into my palms and rub it, trying to calm myself down before I have an actual breakdown. I can not, I WILL not, let that happen! The sound of blood rushing in my ears is like the roar of an angry waterfall, permeated only by the slowly rising tinnitus.

“Is it any wonder you're alone, too? Sven ditched you because you are...

Useless...

Failure.

Leech!

Lazy, good for nothing little sh--”

“Everything all right, Andy?” the concerned voice of Silver finally snaps me back to reality.

I blink rapidly, trying to focus my glazed vision, before offering the unicorn a weak little smile and a mumbled “Y-Yeah, I'm fine...”

The couch creaks as Silver hops onto it, sitting on his haunches next to me and looking at me with his head tilted. I can see he isn't buying my lie.

“Andy... Buddy,” he begins, lifting then a hoof onto my shoulder, “please don't lie to me. It's plain as a day something is bothering you. Is it... Is the rejection letter getting to you?”

I remain silent for a long while, hunched over, leaning onto my knees and studying the shaggy carpet with keen interest. Should I tell him? Do I want to shove my baggage and my burdens onto his shoulders?

“Don't keep these things bottled up inside until something breaks, Anders. It's not healthy. You've said it yourself that talking helps, so, in the future, talk to someone if they are willing to listen,” the words of my former therapist echo in my mind.

Silver's hoof has remained on my shoulder through my entire inner monologue, though at some point he has started to move it ever so slightly in a gentle rubbing motion. It... Feels nice.

I turn to look at him once more, trying to get a read on him and seeing nothing but what looks like genuine concern for me etched onto his equine features. I let out a deep sigh and reach up to pat him lightly on the fetlock.

“The email is... Part of it,” I begin at length, shifting my eyes back onto the carpet. “In truth it's just the cherry on this shit-sundae. Tch...” I snort, shaking my head lightly, “It's all so stupid, though, and I feel stupid for even bringing it up at all.”

“It's not stupid to talk to a friend about something that's bothering you, Andy. I'm here. I'm listening.”

Another pause, though a shorter one this time, as I try to gather my thoughts and put them into some sort of coherent order. I take a deep breath and nod, “Okay...”

“I'm pretty sure I've mentioned before that, several years ago, I used to suffer from depression. Saw a shrink, had the 'happy pills', the whole damn nine yard gamut that came with it. I did get better after a while, though it took a lot of hard work, but... That stuff never really goes completely away. It keeps on lingering, like a shadow in the back of your mind and it takes almost constant vigilance to keep the damn thing from resurfacing.” The longer I go, the easier it seems to get; almost like a steam locomotive building up momentum.

I pause, my brow furrowing in a deep frown, “After losing my job, however... It's been progressively harder to keep my head above the water, so to speak. Every failed application and every rejection letter just feels like another weight trying to pull me under. To keep the same metaphor going, I'm just... Treading water, not achieving anything, not going anywhere. Empty, hollow existence just for the sake of existing.”

Silver doesn't say anything and a quick glance from the corner of my eye lets me see his ears are perked up attentively. He really, truly is listening. It's a... genuinely comforting thought.

“Then... Then there's the fact that I feel like I'm taking advantage of you and Willow's kindness and generosity.” My eyes are prickling and burning as I say that, but I know there won't be any tears. I haven't been able to cry in years now and trust me, I've tried. How fucking messed-up and broken must someone be if they can't even cry..?

That elicits a response from Silver, who shakes his head slowly. His voice is soft as he simply replies, “You're not.”

“But that's what I feel like! That's why... That's why I keep doing all the cooking and cleaning and yard work around here. To make myself feel less like a fucking parasite leeching off of your kindness whilst living under your roof for barely a pittance of what it must cost to upkeep a house this size. I... I...” My words finally fail me and I simply bury my face once more into my hands, still leaning my elbows on my knees as I feel shivers of raw emotion running through my whole body.

A pair of hooves wrap gently around me as Silver pulls me into a hug. I almost shy away from it at first on reflex, but in the end I stay put right where I am. Another shiver runs through my body. He feels so very warm and soft pressed up tight against me...

“It's okay, buddy. It's okay. Now you listen to me and listen closely, Andy. You are not a parasite and you most certainly are not taking any kind of advantage of us. Got it?” he tightens his hug just a little bit, resting his cheek against the back of my head before continuing. “When we first came to your world, you took us both in even though you were only looking for just one housemate. You helped us get used to human rules and customs. You spent so, so many hours of what little free time you had to help us find jobs. A-And then...”

Silver sniffs, clearly getting a bit emotional himself, “And then when our Bits ran out faster than we had anticipated and we were penniless and still hadn't found jobs, you didn't kick us out. You waived our rent entirely AND paid for all our food, too. You did all of that out of the sheer kindness of your heart, expecting nothing in return and for that we are forever, and I mean that as literally as I can, grateful to you.”

I manage a faint smile and a chuckle, “You give me too much credit... I offered that room for the both of you, despite what my ad said, simply because I was curious about your kind. It's not every day you see walking, talking, magical ponies out here in the cold North.”

“Heh... Ever since we were little, both me and Willow have enjoyed winter the most. Our favorite season by far, so this 'cold North' was actually just perfect for us.”

I finally reciprocate the hug by wrapping one of my arms around him and squeezing him softly against myself. “As for that other thing... There was no way in blue-blazing hell that I would've kicked you two out onto the streets; in freaking November no less!”

I couldn't have lived with myself had I done that to two sweet, innocent and kind creatures such as they are, but I don't say that part out loud.

He pulls back away from the hug to look me in the eye, though his hooves remain lightly on my shoulders. “Have you... Talked about this to any of your other friends?”

I give a little shake of my head. “No... Haven't actually seen my friends in what must be months by now and it's been almost as long since I've even heard anything from them, either. Bert and Patricia just had their firstborn a few months ago and I get it that that will keep them quite busy for a while. Erik, meanwhile, is swamped running his business and Åke just recently started his stand-up tour across the country. So yeah, life happens, at least to some,” I finish, unable to keep the vitriolic edge completely away from my tone.

Silver's ears droop and he turns his gaze to the floor, his hooves finally dropping off my shoulders. “I can sympathize with that, Andy. I haven't heard anything from my friends, those few that I have in Equestria, since I came through the portal.”

“Sh—oot,” I catch myself before swearing this time, “I never even thought about that. I'm sorry to hear that, dude.”

He straightens his back, puffs out his chest and forces a little smile onto his muzzle. “Don't worry about it. I knew it was a possibility when I decided to come with Willow into your world and made my peace with it as best I could. Besides,” his smile turns a bit more warm and genuine, “I've made new friends in here and one of them is a very, very dear one too.”

“Oh, please, you're making me blush,” I reply with a good-natured roll of my eyes, though I can't help but feel the tips of my ears heating up a little bit.

We share a lighthearted chuckle that disperses the last vestiges of gloominess from my mind.

“So... Want to watch more Star Trek? I think we've got enough time for one more episode before Willow gets home,” Silver asks, nudging his head towards the TV set.

“Sure thing.”

I reach for the remote and hit play as Silver shifts on the couch, but rather than curling up in his usual corner he instead sidles up right next to me and flops down. He's pressed right up against me with his chin and one hoof on my thigh.

I can't help but smile a little bit. The way he's laying there actually reminds me of my parents' old Rottweiler. Come to think of it, Rex used to do pretty much this exact same thing whenever I was watching TV in the living room, flopping his head on my thigh and pawing at it, demanding pets and scratches. At least Silver doesn't drool... I hope.

A content nicker from Silver brings me back to reality. I hadn't even realized I'd started idly scritching the unicorn's neck... Seems like Rex, rest his soul, managed to pull a reverse Pavlov and conditioned me quite thoroughly.

“Mmmf... That feels nice~” Silver mumbles, his eyes half lidded, “A bit lower and to the left, please.”

“S-Sure. Sorry.” I mumble. On screen Captain Picard is performing one of his many legendary facepalms, mirroring my inner self perfectly.

“Oh you have nothing to apologize for, Andy. Please, do keep going. I-If you'd like, that is.”

I nod and carry on, working my fingers through the soft fur on his neck towards the spot he indicated. The long, drawn-out and thoroughly content groan slipping out of his muzzle tells me I've found my mark. Silver even cranes his neck to push himself further into my fingers, his tail swishing and thumping in what I can only assume is delight against the cushions of the couch.

I relent after a moment, running my palm over the spot I was scritching to smooth down the fur, which in turn pulls another content little nicker out of Silver.

I look down. We lock eyes. He gives me a relaxed smile and stretches a bit, rubbing his cheek against my thigh in the process. A wordless exchange takes place with me lifting one of my eyebrows questioningly and Silver answering with a slow, content nod.

And so I continue, alternating between scritching and petting his neck and even venturing so far as to scratch behind his ears, which he seems to enjoy greatly too; to the point where he's practically putty in my hands. I get the distinct feeling we might have to re-watch the current episode, though, as Silver seems to be somewhere in the vicinity of cloud nine.

“Does it really feel that good to you?” I ask after I'm no longer able to contain my curiosity.

Silver cracks open an eye and looks up at me with a slightly embarrassed grin on his face. “I... May have been exaggerating a little bit, just for funsies, but it does feel really, really nice. Heck, if I had known how nice this is, I would've asked you to do this ages ago!”

He rolls onto his back and casually drapes his front hooves over his belly, giving me a kind of a dopey smile.

I'm just about to answer when the sound of hooves clopping down the stairs interrupts me and soon enough Willow Song enters the living room, a silvery thermal bag - which looks quite full - firmly held in her mouth. She must've entered through the window in the spare room upstairs; the advantages of being a pegasus, I suppose.

Her lemon white coat and sky blue tail glisten with rapidly melting frost, though luckily it seems like the layer is so thin she won't be dripping all over the floor. To ward off the cold she's wearing a red-and-white striped bobble hat and a matching wool scarf. She lowers the bag onto the floor with a “bleh” sound, pulls off her hat and scarf and then rears up on her hind legs to lean against the back of the couch, her lavender eyes staring down at Silver, who still has his head on my lap.

Willow smiles, first to me and then to Silver. “Well, well, well, somepony sure is looking cozy.”

Chuckling, Silver wrenches himself up into a sitting position and the two of them give each other a downright affectionate nuzzle by first gently booping their snouts before leaning further in to rub their cheeks together. Like with most things these colorful little ponies do, they look heart-meltingly adorable doing it and I can't help but smile.

Their little display of affection holds so much genuine tenderness and care towards one another that I find myself, yet again, questioning their claim that they are not a couple. Especially considering the events of one evening a couple weeks ago...

***

It was late, well past ten at least, and I had been busy going through the boxes full of my stuff that were stored in the spare room upstairs, seeing how I couldn't fit everything from my old house into my new room and couldn't afford to rent a storage space. I don't recall what I had been looking for, DVDs maybe, but it had taken me quite a while to find it whatever it was.

Quietly I closed the spare room's door and tiptoed down the dimly-lit, almost pitch-black hallway towards the staircase, not wanting to make noise in case Silver and Willow had already turned in for the night. Silver's door was closed, but Willow's remained slightly ajar and I could see the faint glow of light spilling out; from the lava lamp she had on her nightstand, probably.

A noise, almost like a strangled cry, caught my attention just as I was about to pass by her bedroom and I froze. Was she crying? Had something happened? My hand rose and I was just about to knock when I heard her cry out softly again, though now that I was actually paying attention it sounded more like a... a moan?

I know for a fact Silver and Willow sleep in the same room quite often; not always, not every night, but often enough... I felt my cheeks flushing as I realized what the combination of dim mood lighting, her moans and the quiet, soft shuffle of bodies shifting on bed sheets implied.

I don't know what devil possessed me in that moment, but much to my shame I was overcome with curiosity. I simply had to get a peek, just to make sure she was in fact okay and not in any distress... Or so I rationalized it for myself at the time.

Ever so slowly and carefully I leaned over to peer through the crack in the door, making absolutely sure I didn't so much as touch the door lest my snooping be discovered. I saw the king-size bed Willow had that practically dominated the entire bedroom and I saw my two housemates laying on top of it, engaging in something I was certainly not expecting.

Silver and Willow were laying on their bellies, almost side-by-side, with Willow resting her head on her forelimbs, her eyes closed in relaxation and her mouth hanging slightly ajar. She had one of her wings extended over Silver's forelimbs, whilst the stallion was buried muzzle-deep into her wing feathers. Whatever he was doing, it seemed like Willow was enjoying it greatly as she let out another, slightly louder moan.

It was at that point I came to my damned senses and decided I'd seen quite enough. Utilizing all the ninja skills I'd learned by playing video games and watching movies, I sneaked away to the staircase, leaving the two of them to their business. Thank goodness the staircase in this house is built sturdy and doesn't creak!

By the time I reached the bottom of the stairs, I felt a mischievous idea forming in my head, a chance to have a bit of harmless fun at their expense. I strained my ears and, sure enough, I could hear Willow letting out another groan of contentment even from where I was standing.

I counted to five, planted my hand onto the handrail of the stairs and called out, “Guys?”

There was a pause and then I heard Silver reply. “Yes, Andy?”

“I can hear you two, you know? Look, it's your house and you can do whatever you want in it, I get that, but if you two are going to have sex, could you at least close the door, please?” With considerable effort I managed to keep my tone mostly neutral, with just that appropriate hint of exasperation for having to bring the whole subject up at all sprinkled in.

I heard Silver sputtering and stammering “I.. .B-but we... We're not...”

“Sorryyyyy!” Willow shouted and then I heard the door slamming shut.

I had to bite on a finger to keep myself from laughing out loud as I made my way to my room, my mission of mischief completed.

The following morning at the breakfast table I was met with two very embarrassed and very blushy ponies.

I, on the other hand, simply smiled politely at them and, still feeling mischievous, asked “So... Had fun? Sure sounded like it!”

That was when, still blushing furiously and with their ears firmly pinned back, they explained to me what preening is, why it is so important and how it can feel really good and relaxing when done right; almost like a massage. It is apparently a sign of great trust and intimacy from a pegasus to let somebody else preen them. There are only a few instances where that privilege is usually granted, with the most common ones being: parents while their children are still too young to do it properly by themselves and... between lovers.

'We're not really a couple' my ass!

***

Silver flopping back down on his back, with his head coming to rest on my thigh and his forelimbs once more crossed casually over his belly, brings me back to the present day.

Willow is still standing on her hind hooves and she crosses her forelegs on the backrest of the couch, laying her chin on top of them with her elbows sticking out in a display that is remarkably human like.

“So,” she begins at length, a soft little smile on her muzzle “what's made you two get all snuggly?”

“Andy was having a bad day,” Silver replies, placing then one hoof onto his heart and looking very proud of himself. ”So I decided to be his emotional support pony!”

“A silly pony is what you're being right now,” I reply and give his mane a light ruffle.

He sticks his tongue out and blows a raspberry at me. Being the mature adult I am, I give him one right back.

Willow's tittering laugh interrupts us. “How about we agree you're both absolutely silly, hmm?”

“Fine, I can live with that, I suppose,” I respond.

“Fair enough,” comes Silver's answer.

Willow tilts her head to look at me, a mild frown of concern furrowing her brow. “But you're having a bad day, Andy? I hope it's nothing serious...”

I give a noncommittal wave of my hand and grunt, turning to look at the floor yet again. Before I have a chance to muster up the energy and effort required to go through everything that's been bothering me again, I see Silver's horn light up and hear the unmistakable, tingly sound of magic in the air.

Turning my head, I see there's some sort of magical symbol, like a diamond inside a circle that is missing its bottom fifth, glowing on Willow's forehead and her eyes have taken on a kind of glazed look. I know that symbol.

“Silver,” I begin in a mock chiding tone, “what have we discussed about using telepathy when there are other people around?”

About three seconds later Silver ends the telepathic connection with Willow and gives me an apologetic smile. “Sorry... I just figured this would be quicker and then you wouldn't have to explain everything all over again.”

Before I have a chance to do much more than shake my head and give a little smile at the unicorn, Willow shifts over, wraps her hooves around me and gives me a tight hug, her damp cheek pressing firmly against mine.

“Awww... I'm sorry to hear all that, Andy. And I have to agree with Silver: you are neither a leech, nor taking advantage of us. You hear me?” There's a surprising sternness in her voice, telling me she will brook no arguments whatsoever.

I simply sigh and reach back to lightly scritch behind one of her ears, causing her to almost immediately lean into it with a contented little hum. “Yes ma'am.”

She probably would've stayed there for quite a while longer if not for the sudden and loud growling of her stomach. The mare blushes visibly and disentangles herself from me, dropping then back down on all fours. “Err... Come on, you two, before the food gets completely cold!”

“I'll set up the table. Silver, could you bring the bag?” I say as I stand up and grab the tray from the coffee table.

“Sure thing, buddy!” He replies cheerily, hopping off the couch and then picking up the bag with his magic. Meanwhile Willow gathers her scarf and hat and trots off towards the bathroom to hang them up to dry.

Silver hops onto his seat and places the thermal bag onto the table as I go about setting down plates, mugs and the assorted silverware for me and Willow, whilst Silver gets a pair of chopsticks. He's actually quite the whiz at using them, though I suppose telekinetic magic is a bit like a cheat code in that regard.

As for me... I never learned to use the damn sticks, no matter how hard I try!

By the time I'm done, Willow has joined us once again and hopped onto her seat. Whereas mine is more of a traditional wooden dining chair, theirs are more like wide bar stools with comfy cushions on top. The way they usually sit means they don't really need back rests, plus it's easier for them to just hop on and off without having to move the chairs around this way. Sure, it makes the decor look a bit lopsided, but who cares, right?

“All right, let's see...” Willow says, rooting through the thermal bag and pulling out various take-away boxes with the text Jade Garden printed onto them from within. “We've got some stir fried tofu with fried rice for you, Silver.”

“Oh you do so know what I like!” he replies with that boundless enthusiasm of his as he grabs the offered box into his telekinetic grip and proceeds to empty the contents onto his plate.

“And for you, Andy, some beef Chow Mein.” She hands me a box and I do much the same as Silver, quickly opening it up and emptying the contents onto my plate. The smell is absolutely delicious and, for take-away, it doesn't even look too bad.

“Thanks,” I reply with a warm smile. I'm just glad they are willing to indulge my omnivorous habits and aren't too squicked out whenever I eat meat. Granted, I've been leaning more towards a vegetarian diet like theirs ever since I met them, but I just can't drop meat completely from my menu. I've even lost some weight and slimmed down my figure since doing that, so hey, bonus.

“And lastly, for me, some Buddha's Delight. Oh, and of course... Spring rolls all around!”

That last bit gets a small cheer from both Silver and me. Jade Garden makes their spring rolls fresh from scratch and it really both tastes and shows.

We all dig in and for a moment there's only the sound of food being shoveled into hungry mouths.

“So how was your day at the store?” Silver asks from Willow eventually between mouthfuls.

Willow takes a sip of water, smacks her lips and then answers with a little smile. “Long, hard and ultimately satisfying.” Her smile turns impish and there's a glint in her eye as she adds, throwing a glance at Silver “So, just like a good stallion.”

“I swear to Celestia I will wash that potty mouth of yours with soap, missy!” replies the unicorn whilst frowning in disapproval at the mischievous mare.

Unperturbed, Willow pushes on. “And like after a stallion, I'm going to need a shower. A very, very long one.” That last bit she caps off with a weary sigh that sounds like it comes from the very bottom of her soul.

“Oh yeah. It's Friday, isn't it?” I say, trying to suppress a smirk whilst the considerably red-cheeked Silver continues to glare daggers at Willow, clearly not approving of such crass language at the dinner table. “The day when the unwashed masses shuffle from their lairs into the store to play some Friday Night Magic.”

“I know, right?” Willow whines, throwing a forlorn look at the ceiling. “I swear, half of them must be allergic to soap or something. Thank buck Jonn has me stationed at the front counter these days rather than working at the gaming area in the back. The funk is more tolerable there.”

I grimace inwardly. The reason the manager of our Friendly Local Gaming Store, Jonn, has Willow working the front counter every Friday - and makes a point of being very visible there himself, too - is there was an incident a couple months back... One customer, probably not used to seeing talking pastel ponies, got handsy with Willow, like she was a damn pet or a mascot or whatever. Jonn, luckily, saw the whole thing, threw the guy out and told him to never show his face there again. I still fully intend to get Jonn a bottle of whiskey for Christmas.

The rest of the meal passes mostly uneventfully, though I do make Silver tell Willow about his little “social mistake,” which has Willow laughing so hard she actually falls off her chair.

“So,” I begin after we've finished with our meals, “how much do I owe you for the food?”

Willow just waves a hoof dismissively in the air. “Oh, don't worry about it. My treat and yes, I had been planning on it being my treat since the beginning.”

“Willow... Come on...” I try to plead with her.

We stare at each other in a silent duel of wills for a few heartbeats before she gives an exasperated roll of her eyes and sighs. “Fine. If you're really Tartarus-bent on paying me back for the food, then how about you brush my mane when I'm done with my shower, hmm? A favor, for a favor?”

I sigh in defeat and nod, curling one corner of my mouth upwards in a little lopsided smile. She's obviously not going to be taking my money no matter what I say or do. “Fine, you drive a hard bargain. One thorough mane brushing for the dinner.”

“Deal!” She extends a hoof over the table and I bump it. “And now I'm off to the shower. Are we going to watch some movies afterwards? Something light and funny after a hard day would be nice.”

Silver nods. “Sure!”

“I'm game. In fact, I think I know just the movie... About time you two were introduced to the works of Mel Brooks!”

Willow smiles at me and nods, trotting then off towards the bathroom.

“Hey, Willow, try not to use all the hot water, okay? I need a shower too.” Silver calls after her.

She stops, turns to look over her shoulder, gives Silver a sultry grin and waggles her eyebrows. “You could always join me, you know. Save water and all that~”

Silver, in that adorable manner of his, blushes beet red before clearing his throat and composing himself once more. “You're just trying to get me to wash your mane for you. Oooh... I see through your schemes, missy! You may have fenangled Andy to be your beauty slave, but you won't get me that easily.”

“Darn... Foiled again. I'll get you next time Silver. Next. Time!” She replies, shaking a hoof at him theatrically and then giving a melodious little laughter, which Silver reciprocates, before heading off towards the bathroom once more.

“You're both such goofballs, you know that, right?” I say, a big ol' grin plastered onto my face as well.

***

By the time Silver is done with his shower, Willow's mane is dry enough for me to brush. I sit on the couch with Willow sitting on the floor between my legs.

Silver hops onto the couch, pads around in a circle once and then settles down, leaning against my side. Though a bit surprising, I'm once again not adverse to the closeness. Heh, I bet he's looking for some more scritches after I'm done with Willow's mane, the sly little unicorn.

“I hope you'll enjoy this one,” I say as I hit the play button and Mel Brooks' Robin Hood: Men in Tights starts.

I've seen the movie plenty of times already, so I'm only half paying attention to what's happening on the screen. Most of my focus is on running the brush through Willow's silky mane, slowly and gently working out all the tangles until her mane flows through the brush almost like water. The task is, however, made a bit harder by her practically doubling over in laughter from time to time. Not that I can blame her for that.

Eventually, though, I reach a point where I'm satisfied with my work and I give her shoulder a pat. “All done. Would you like me to brush your tail while I'm at it?”

She flashes me a smile and nods. “Well... Sure, if it's not too much trouble.”

I shrug and she hops onto the couch, too, laying down on her side and flicking her tail onto my lap. Just as before, I diligently get to work, teasing out all the tangles whilst being careful not to let the brush pull on her tail.

“Wow, maybe I should get you to do this more often!” Willow exclaims suddenly. I turn to look at her and see that she's running a tentative hoof along her mane to see how it feels and she seems both positively surprised and quite pleased at what she finds.

“Maybe I should have him work on my mane too?” Silver quips.

“Maybe I should start charging for the service? Per. Brushstroke.” I throw back at the both of them, a wry grin on my lips.

Willow titters into her hoof, Silver chuckles and even I can't keep myself from laughing a bit.

“You'd make a mountain of bits in Equestria with a service like that,” Silver says.

“Good to know I've got potential job prospects available if I ever want to emigrate to pony land.”

On the TV screen Little John, Blinkin, Ahchoo and the others sing the titular song of the movie.

I finish my work on Willow's tail a few minutes later and, after a cursory inspection of it, she hums in approval and gives me a nod. “Consider your dinner paid in full.”

Placing the brush onto the coffee table, I give her a theatrical little bow in return. “I aim to please.”

And, just as I suspected, almost as soon as I lean back to enjoy the film, Silver shuffles to lay on his side with his head on my thigh. Who am I to deny such an obvious request? I lay my hand onto his neck and the unicorn lets out a content little coo. Just like before I start to idly scritch his neck, running my nails lightly through his short, smooth fur.

Movement in my peripheral vision makes me take a quick glance towards the pony laying curled up on my other side. Willow's tail is swishing every now and again, almost as if she was agitated by something and I notice her eyes flicking from the TV screen to Silver time and again.

Getting a pretty good idea what's going on, I turn my head slightly towards her, much enough that she notices it. She blushes as she realizes she's been caught, but I just give her a reassuring smile and lift my other hand to show I've still got one free if she wants in on this.

She stares at me for a while and in those large eyes of hers I can see pretty clear signs of some kind of an internal debate or struggle going on. She bites her lower lip and looks away from me for just a few seconds before standing up and shuffling over, laying then down in a way that mirrors Silver.

I have no idea what that was all about... Maybe she's just embarrassed about the whole thing? If I was committing some kind of grave social faux pas Silver would've told me about it before, I'm sure.

Either way, once she's settled all nice and snug I get to work on her neck as well. I can feel her tensing at first upon making contact, but that quickly melts away as I scritch her just behind the left ear.

“Ohhh... That is nice!” she exclaims.

“Told you~” Silver sing-songs in return, lifting his head just a bit to flash the pegasus a toothy grin.

***

By the end of the movie they are both sound asleep on my lap. Not that I can blame them. Both Silver and Willow have had a long day and, indeed, long week of work, making sure they get to keep this wonderful house they've found for themselves. They're making something of themselves, contributing to society unlike...

No.

No, I refuse to let myself go down that path a second time today. Screw you brain, you had your sulky time already, now sit down and shut up!

My resolve thus galvanized, I shift my focus back on the two equines snoozing on me. They look so peaceful and looking at them I feel kind of at peace myself. With these two crazy, wonderful ponies as my friends, I just know things will be alright. I will be alright.

***

Author's Note

It was only well after I had written it when I realized that "Celestia's sun-kissed throne" can be understood in more ways than one... :rainbowlaugh:

Now with 100% more story notes!