The Enemy Within

by Jake The Army Guy

Rating: everyone
Tags: Spike, Shining Armor, Sad, Main 6, Princess Luna, Drama, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic
Length: 7899

How does one live knowing there's a monster inside of them?

What was supposed to be a day of laughter and joy for Spike ended in screams and terror.

After receiving a tear-stained scroll from Twilight, Princess Luna and a Royal Guard relief force race towards Ponyville. While the Guard sets to rendering aid to the shaken town, Luna heads for the Golden Oak Public Library to render aid to the one she knows all too well needs it the most.

Takes place directly after Secret of My Excess.

Pre-readers: Georg, Tek, and Pascoite

Cover art by Mysticalpha on Deviant Art, used with permission. Show him some love.

Featured on Equestria Daily.

Published 2021-02-22 00:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2021-02-22 00:30:01 UTC

That Which Lies Buried

Princess Luna felt a tiny chill as the carriage rocketed through the air, but not from the driving wind. Instead, the mixture of apprehension and dread of what awaited her in Ponyville sent the tingle through her body. Hopefully it wasn’t as bad as Twilight Sparkle had said.

And it wouldn’t dredge up too many horrible memories.

Part of her would have preferred to simply teleport to Ponyville. With such a... unique disaster as what had transpired, a royal presence on the ground would do wonders to calm the nerves of the townsfolk. Granted, that was if they didn’t react to her in a crisis situation the same way they had on Nightmare Night six months ago.

Still, she was determined to forge a connection with Celestia’s Day Guard as strong as the one she had with her Night Guard, which was why she sat in a chariot at the head of a massive formation. Teams of pegasi Guards towed the half-dozen large troop transports and the few smaller logistical vehicles that raced through the sky behind her, carrying unicorn medics and earth ponies from the Royal Guard’s Corps of Engineers, while a large contingent of pegasi flew in their typical V formation. It was a mere hour after she and Celestia had received Twilight’s letter that the large relief effort left for Ponyville.

Situated next to her, the Captain of the Day Guard, though a large and powerfully built unicorn, looked quite green around the gills as they flew. Still, he dutifully scanned the horizon as the town came into focus, doing his best to disregard his queasiness and focus on the mission. As dedicated as he seemed, perhaps she had been wrong when she chided Tia for promoting such a young stallion to Captain.

Of course, he had a personal stake in this event, so his focus came as no surprise.

Finally, Ponyville came into clear view, and her eternal heart skipped a beat. Young Twilight Sparkle had not been joking. Though they were still a little over a kilometer away from the city limits, the destruction was obvious. A large swath of buildings, what appeared to be around ten percent of the total town, had been completely destroyed. Past that, a clear line of destruction could be seen, a path of ruins and craters about a kilometer and a half long, from the center of town to one of the nearby mountains. As they drew even nearer and the dust parted from the pegasus magic, the craters revealed themselves to be giant claw prints.

A large medical tent had been set up, marked by a red cross. Twilight’s missive had not specified the number nor the severity of the injuries sustained by the townsfolk, but judging by the long queue of ponies awaiting care, as well as a few stretchers along the side of the road, it seemed Luna had underestimated the full extent of the disaster.

A low gasp came from beside her. Across the carriage, Luna saw Shining Armor’s mouth agape as his eyes scanned the aftermath. The confusion was crystal clear in his eyes. “Are you alright, Captain?”

Shining shook his head. “Oh, yes, Your Highness. It’s just...” His eyes once more roved through the destruction below. “I mean... I changed his diapers, you know?”

Despite herself, a tiny smirk crossed her face at the comment. Quickly, she snuffed it out and turned to the front as the chariots began a lazy descent pattern, aiming for Town Hall. “Captain, as soon as you land, meet with Mayor Mare and coordinate your efforts. Ensure the medics assist with any wounded, and then have the Corps of Engineers begin their damage assessment. And reassure the Mayor that the Crown will take care of any repairs, as well as medical costs for any severely wounded.”

Luna got no reply for several long moments before a muttered “Yes, Your Highness,” eked out from behind clenched teeth.

“Something on your mind, Captain?”

A few more moments, and then he spoke again, this time with much more conviction. “Yes, Princess. I understand that there is work to be done but... I’d really like to go see him first. Make sure he’s okay.”

Once more, Luna smiled. “Believe me, Shining Armor, I understand your concern more than most could. And the instant you are done with the coordination, I expect you at the library. However, you well know that duty must come first. You must go where you are needed.” By now they were nearly to the ground. She could see a crowd below quickly making way for the formation to land, as well as the mayor looking rather frazzled. Luna moved towards the open back of the chariot and flared her wings. Before she took off, she heard Shining once more.

“And where will you go?”

“Where I am needed.” With that, she gracefully leapt from the chariot and turned south towards the library.

The trip to the library wasn’t a very long one, as Ponyville was not the largest of towns. Still, it was long enough to see the story unfold through an up close examination of the damage as she neared. Entire walls knocked down and uprooted lamp posts gave way to piles of plaster and bent street signs, a reverse snapshot of Spike’s growth and ensuing rampage. This far away from the epicenter, there were more ponies on the streets, though these were simply milling about as opposed to seeking medical treatment. Still, even from the air, she could easily read the tension and fear in their body language. She also noted that no pony was moving alone, traveling in pairs or more. She supposed it was to be expected.

When she finally set down in front of the Golden Oak Public Library, the small crowd that had gathered around it turned to face her. Despite the grim reason she was even here, Luna could not stop a warm feeling in her heart as they bowed to her, not out of fear but friendly respect. The anxiety in their eyes also waned at her approach, her presence bringing them comfort. However, in a few she could see the beginnings of an even worse emotion: anger. She bade them rise with a nod of her head, then cleared her throat.

“Citiz—” She let out a quiet breath. “My friends, I understand your fear. Not long ago, it was me that you feared, and yet you gave me your forgiveness, and extended your hooves in friendship. Now, I must ask you to extend that forgiveness to another. Today has been a trying day for all of you. Some of your homes and businesses have been destroyed, and some of you may be injured, frightened, or even angry. I beg of you not to give into that anger. Despite what has transpired today, please remember that Spike is but a child, and forgiveness and friendship are two things he is going to need in the coming days.”

As she spoke, she could see those tiny embers of rage slowly snuff out in their eyes. Perhaps Spike might be spared the same feelings she endured. “As much as you may not want to hear it, this is also a very trying time for Twilight Sparkle, and yes, young Spike, as well.” A scant few angered mutters came from somewhere in the crowd, but a hard gaze from Luna quashed them. “I assure you that any danger has passed. Now please, my friends, disperse. Let them, as well as me, have some space.”

Seeming at least somewhat mollified, the amassed ponies turned to leave, though a few shot one last mistrustful glance at the library. Sighing, Luna approached the door, idly musing that she would likely have to deal with many a nightmare in the coming days. She knew better than anypony that following such an event, it would take time to regain the trust of the townsfolk, but it was not something she would wish a child to endure. Setting her shoulders, Luna gently yet firmly knocked on the door.

Almost immediately, it flew open to reveal Twilight Sparkle in a state that sent a pang of sympathy through Luna’s heart. Her mane was somewhat frazzled, and her eyes were red and puffy, faint lines where tears had fallen running down her cheeks. However, Twilight’s expectant grin faltered and her eyebrows quirked as she looked at her. “Princess Luna?”

Luna let out a barely audible huff as she entered the library. She may not have been Twilight’s mentor, but she at least expected less disappointment from her sister's student. “It is good to see you again, Twilight Sparkle.” She eased her way into the library as Twilight quickly shut the door behind her. Luna took note of the emptied shelves and knocked-over tables, as well as the sizable pile of random junk in the middle of the floor. “Of course, I wish it were under better circumstances. I came as soon as the Guard’s relief force was mustered.”

“R-right.” Twilight nimbly stepped next to her, and Luna could note that she was doing her best not to look at the mess around them. “Uh, Princess, I mean absolutely no disrespect, but... w-why did you come? I mean, I would have thought Princess Celestia would have been the one to respond to my letter .”

“Heh,” Luna said. “Yes, my sister was quite adamant on being by his side and yours until I insisted that I come in her stead

“You insisted?” Twilight asked. “Why?”

Luna smiled at her with gentle eyes. “Twilight, you of all ponies should know that I would have a... unique insight into Spike’s situation.”

Twilight’s brow furrowed for several moments before realization struck. “Oh, right,” she said, her ears falling flat to her head.

“So, where is he?”

Instantly, that harried state returned to her face. “Upstairs. Princess, I... I’m really worried about him. He didn’t utter a single word on the way back home. I know that I could see the looks ponies were giving him, and hear a few whispers, and his hearing is better than mine! Still, he just... kept moving forward, like his body was moving on instinct. The moment we got home, he ran upstairs and locked himself in our room. He... he won’t talk to me!” As more tears welled in her eyes, Twilight gazed at the stairs before them. “H-he’s never not talked to me...”

Luna’s heart ached at Twilight’s words. Words she had once heard whispered through a door mere days before her tragedy. The situation was beginning to feel more and more familiar. “I see. I shall go and attempt to speak with him. Please remain here.”

“W-what?” Twilight said, tearing her eyes away from the ceiling and facing Luna once more. “But I need to know he’s alright. I have to—”

“I understand. Trust me, I do,” Luna said, placing a hoof on Twilight’s shoulder. “However...” She sighed. “Let me tell you something I’ve not told anypony else, not even my sister.” That got Twilight’s ears to perk up. “When I arrived in Canterlot after you and your friends cleansed me of the Nightmare, I sequestered myself in my room for several days. I felt so... exposed. Raw, and vulnerable. Given that, the last pony I wished to see me in such a state was the one closest to me.”

It took a few long moments to get a response. Luna could see Twilight's brows furrow as she tried to process what she had just heard. Finally, her eyes widened ever-so-slightly, accompanied by a tiny gasp. She looked up at Luna and gave a shaky nod. Luna responded in kind, then made for the stairs.

As she ascended, Luna’s mind was racing, trying to think of the proper things to say to the child. She hadn’t been lying when she told Twilight she had a pretty good idea of what Spike was feeling right now, but that was also the problem. She remembered that dark day all too well: the rush of celebration at her return, the amusingly shocked looks on the nobility’s faces when they realized they had another flank to kiss. She also remembered the seemingly endless tears Tia had shed once they were finally alone, begging Luna’s forgiveness for her blindness to what was happening so long ago. Luna had done much the same as they fell asleep in each other’s arms.

However, what had followed was days upon days of guilt, shame, and regret. Her mind had run in circles, damning her for allowing herself to fall so deep into her bitterness, for not being strong enough to stop. For hurting the ones she loved. The few times Tia had spoken to her from the other side of the door, any words had fallen on deaf ears. Truthfully, neither of them had known what to say, and Luna had no idea what she even needed to hear. Even in her prime, Luna was never the most talented at offering comfort, and as she reached the upstairs door, she was quite near panicking. Perhaps this was a bad idea. She should have let Tia come instead. After all, Luna barely knew the whelp, while Celestia once told her that he had at times called her “mommy.” Maybe she should quietly leave and...

Her ears perked up at the faintest of noises coming from beyond the door. Curious, she gently pressed her ear against the door. After a moment she heard it a bit more clearly, and her heart ached. She knew this sound all too well: They were the small, shuddering breaths of somepony who was trying his best not to be heard, or to be seen. Somepony who wished to vanish forever into the darkness of his own shame.

In that instant, Luna knew exactly how Celestia felt outside of her door that dark night. Doing her best to blink away the lone tear in her eye, she gently rapped on the door.

“Go away, Twi,” said a tiny, somewhat ragged voice after a few moments. The faint scent of brimstone and smoke wafted up from the crack of light along the floor.

Luna took a deep breath. “Spike?” she said. “It is Princess Luna. Twilight is still downstairs. I... May I come inside?” When she got no response, she gnawed on her lip. “Please, dear Spike. We won’t talk if you desire not to. I simply... well, I want to make sure you’re alright.”

For the longest time, nothing happened. Luna could hear nothing, aside from the ragged breathing. She lifted a hoof to knock again when she finally heard slow, plodding footsteps approach the door, then pause just on the other side. The knob jiggled a few times, as if hesitant to open, until the lock finally clicked, followed by the skittering of claws scampering away. She dutifully waited for several moments before easing the door open and stepping inside.

As she gently closed the door behind her, she noted that the lights were turned off and the curtains had been drawn, leaving the room in a dim, almost dusky haze. Fortunately, her superior night vision allowed her to see clearly. Spike sat on the floor facing the far wall. He had huddled himself into a ball, his knees drawn up and his arms keeping them tight to his chest. She wondered why he sat so close to the wall until her eyes traced to the other side of the room.

Next to the opposite wall was a pile of destroyed objects. A large green blanket adorned with apples was torn into shreds. Several books had been reduced to smoldering piles of ashes. What appeared to be a record player lay in pieces, and there was even a large hole in the wall with a dumbbell embedded in it. Spike had destroyed and cast aside all of it with obvious rage, and Luna could guess why.

Slowly, Luna approached Spike, though as she did, the tension from before came roaring back. She opened her mouth several times, but words failed to coalesce. By the time she was directly behind him, she let out a quiet sigh. Without a word, she sat down on the floor and eased her way to his side. He immediately tried to scoot away, though when she wrapped a wing around him and pulled him close, he offered only token resistance.

They sat there silently, the two of them simply staring at the wall for many minutes. Luna had decided that the best way to handle this was to let the boy be the first to breach the silence. While he said nothing for a good while, his breathing did eventually calm, and she could feel him press just a bit harder into her side. Finally, he spoke.

“H-how bad is it?”

Luna gnawed her lip for a moment. There were several ways she could interpret that, but she didn’t want to presume, nor risk troubling him further. Instead, she asked, “How do you mean?”

“I mean how much did I—” He sniffled. “D-did I destroy?

“Ah,” Luna said. “Well, the Engineers have yet to begin their assessment, but based on what I saw when Captain Armor and I flew overhead—”

“Shiny is here, too?”

“Yes, he is,” she said, noting the somewhat hopeful tone the news brought to his voice. She knew it wouldn’t last long, though. “But based on that, I would say nearly a tenth of the city has been... reduced to rubble.” As she predicted, his entire body cringed, and he was not able to stop the hitch in his breath. “And while I do not yet know the number of ponies that were harmed, nor the severity of those injuries, Twilight's letter did say that nopony was killed during the beast’s rampage.”

“Not a beast,” he mumbled.

“Spike, that was not—”

“Yes, it was!” he hissed, finally looking up at her. Luna’s heart throbbed at the redness in his slitted eyes, along with the obvious tension in his muscles and clenched fists. “It was me! Zecora said so!”

Luna said nothing, merely arching an eyebrow.

After a few heaving breaths, he continued. “W-when Twilight took me to Zecora’s hut to try and figure out what was happening, I was... nrgh, ‘still around enough,’ I guess, to hear her. ‘A dragon’s heart is prone to greed!’ That’s what she said!”

“I am sure that she meant that is a tendency of all dragons, not just you! What little we know tells us—”

“Did you know?”

That brought Luna up short. Not necessarily the question itself, but more the smoldering accusation in his tone. “What?”

He let out a snort and a puff of smoke. “I get Twilight. She hasn’t read every book there is. But you and Princess Celestia have been around for thousands of years, and you had no clue that this was something that happened to dragons? That one day I would just turn into a... a m-monster?!”

“No, we did not.” Luna tried her best to cover the tinge of anger in her voice at being so openly questioned and accused, but the accusing glare he cast to her told her he had picked up on it.

“How?!” he hissed. “How can you have lived so long and not learned anything about dragons?!”

“Because we are ponies, not dragons!” Luna winced as Spike cringed away slightly. That had come out much louder and much more antagonistic than she had intended. Taking a few deep breaths, to calm both her and Spike’s nerves, she continued. “You must understand that the dragons have never been friendly towards us. Especially in ancient times, when my sister and I were at the height of our power. On the rare occasions that a dragon would approach our borders, it was typically some upstart who wanted to test their flame against our might. Those few times when one wanted to talk, things were... tense at best.

“If memory serves, your friend Zecora is a zebra, correct?” Spike’s response was a barely audible grunt. “That explains it. Several of the larger herds in Zebrica have a... unique relationship with dragonkind. The details of which are... complicated, but it stands to reason that a zebra shaman would know of this type of phenomenon.

“However, Celestia has told me that the current Dragon Lord, Torch, has expressed interest in opening relations with Equestria. We believe it may be because he is nearing the end of his reign and wishes to carve out a...” She squinted while looking into the whelp’s eyes. She could easily see the fear, and the anger, but just beneath that was...

Suddenly, things became clear. She knew exactly what unspeakable question plagued his mind. “Oh, dear Spike. Please believe that had I known, had we known about this aspect of your biology, we would have told you!” Spike turned his head away, but Luna reached a hoof and gently brought his eyes to her. “Especially Celestia! She... she cares so much about you.”

“Yeah?” Spike said, shrugging off her hoof. He crossed his arms and scooted his body to face away from her. “Then why isn’t she here?”

“She wanted to be here. Desperately, in fact. We had quite the shouting match while waiting for the Guard to mobilize. However—” she took a deep breath, steeling herself “—I insisted.”

Had she doubted Spike’s connection to her sister before, the way the boy had tensed when she said that would have left little doubt in her mind. Luna could not see his face, as he was still turned away, but she had a pretty good idea what was going through his mind: relief in knowing that his “mommy” did indeed care about him, confusion as to why Luna insisted she come instead, and probably a hint of resentment at being denied Tia’s comfort. Still, she sat silently, watching as the tension eked out of his body, his shoulders slumped and the muscles in his back relaxed. Finally, he spoke, mumbling out the only real question he could ask.

“Why?”

Luna lowered her head so as to be eye level with him. “Because, Spike, more than anypony else on the planet, I truly understand what you are going through.” Spike’s breathing hitched once more, and he slowly lifted his gaze to her, eyes widening. “You well know that I, too, once fell to my... baser instincts. I let my darker emotions and tendencies overwhelm me, clouding my mind of rational thought and compassion. Sadly, when I lost control, I destroyed far more than a few city blocks. I tried to destroy what I valued the most. And I nearly did." She reached a hoof and gently stroked his cheek. “Believe me, it is a painful weight upon the soul I would not wish upon any pony in Equestria, no matter how vile they may be. And I would give anything to keep you from it as well.”

Spike looked away, but did not move from her contact at first. He bit at his lip, apparently mulling over her words. Or perhaps his own, as he opened and closed his mouth several times. Eventually, he once more turned his body away, though this time only to the side, not showing his back. “Do y... d-do you remember any of it?” he breathed.

Luna chewed over her response for a moment, before once more deciding on honesty. “Not all of it. Mere flashes, really. Once She had fully seeded Her corruption, it was like...” She let out a grim chuckle. “Perhaps fittingly, it was like being trapped in a nightmare. I was... adrift in a chaotic tempest of bitterness and rage which only fueled Her actions. Every now and then, however, a tiny break would open in the storm, and I was able to see what She, what I, was doing.” She shuddered. “Those moments were the worst,” she whispered.

“I remember,” Spike blurted out. He may not have meant to say it aloud, judging by way his claws clenched into trembling fists on his thighs. “Every minute of it. A-at first, it was just this tiny voice, way in the back of my mind, whispering to me. ‘Hey, you deserve a present!’ It was easy to say no at first. But then out in town, when I saw Lickety Split bouncing his ball around, i-it said it again, but this time, I... I-I figured why not? Just once. But after that...”

A shudder ran through him, and Luna placed a comforting hoof on his knee. “It became louder,” she said. "More insistent. Sweet and cloying words that would not depart, and only grew as you yielded to their temptations." His answer came in the form of a full-body shiver and a whimpering breath.

“I could see, hear, and... f-feel everything that was happening. That... nrgh, that g-greed, the need to take everything I saw. Even when it got harder to think clearly, I-I still felt it. And every time I took something... i-it just got harder and harder to say no. I could see what I was doing! I s-saw myself attack Scootaloo. I remember knocking down the wall at Sugarcube Corner! Even as I—” he shuddered hard “—w-was stepping on buildings, and… g-grabbing Rarity, I couldn’t stop myself! It was like... like falling into a muddy pit. Whenever I tried to claw my way back up, I w-would just sink deeper.” He stopped to take a few gulping breaths, and Luna wrapped an arm around his shoulders, trying to help ease the shuddering that had overtaken him. “And... and every time somepony tried to stop me from taking something, th-that feeling would just get stronger.” His voice suddenly became very tiny. “But that wasn’t the worst part.”

He didn’t continue at first, but Luna pressed, sensing they were reaching the core of the issue. “What was, child?”

“At...” Spike shook his head, flinching at whatever he was about to say. “A-at the end? When I had completely fallen into it and I was... r-r-rampaging through town, destroying things and taking whatever I wanted? I... I-I-I...” He finally lifted his head to look at her, and in that instant, Luna’s heart broke. Those young eyes, full of humor and child-like enthusiasm the last time she had seen him, were shimmering with tears, laden with guilt, shame, and self-loathing. “I liked it,” he whimpered.

“I-i-it felt good! Being so big, and... and strong.” Luna blinked as a new emotion seeped into his eyes. “The strongest,” he nearly growled, looking away as his chest heaved. “Being surrounded by... soft, tiny little things. Things I could crush without even trying!” Wisps of smoke leaked from his flared nostrils, his sharp claws flexed, and his nictitating membranes flashed across his narrow slitted eyes. “Things that couldn’t hope to stop me as I took everything. Everything for myself! All for—”

He gasped, his entire body tensing. The smoke dissipated. His eyes widened. His fists opened. Slowly, he gazed back up at Luna, his lip trembling as dawning horror spread across his face. Just as the first tear escaped, Luna reached out and pulled him into a tight hug. His steaming tears stained her coat as he wailed, blubbering and sobbing uncontrollably into her shoulder.

The two sat there on the floor for nearly ten minutes while Spike cried himself out. At one point, Luna had heard over his whimpering the nervous clattering of hooves just outside the door. Her heart went out to Twilight, though she thankfully respected Luna’s wishes and remained outside. This was likely the most exposed Spike had ever felt, and if her own experiences were anything to go by, a family member’s presence would have only made things worse.

Eventually, Spike’s sobs tapered off. He finally pulled back from Luna’s embrace, cheeks stained with tears and his nose runny. She produced a midnight blue handkerchief and offered it to him, which he took and dried his face. Luna said nothing, allowing the boy to regain control over his breathing and his nerves to steady. When he spoke, the fragility was gone, replaced with what sounded like resignation and defeat. “I can still hear it, you know? A... l-little voice, way in the back of my mind, whispering at me to take everything I see. It’s never gonna go away, is it?” he more stated than asked.

Once more, Luna carefully considered her response. In the end, her somewhat painfully honest nature had gotten her this far. “No,” she said bluntly. She winced as he tensed, but she pressed on. “Most likely, this is something that you will have to deal with for the rest of your life.” When his breathing began to pick up once more, she gingerly reached a hoof to his chin and made him face her. “However, allow me to let you in on a little secret, young one.

“Every pony in Equestria... no, every creature in the world—every pony, every griffon, every Diamond Dog, and yes, every alicorn—deals with a similar voice.” His eyebrow raised, and she continued. “Dear Spike, we all have a little voice in the back of our heads, or in the bottom of our hearts. It berates us with our darkest fears, taunts us with our deepest desires. Tempts us to throw away Harmony and act selfishly, with little to no regard to those we care for.” Luna lowered her tone just a tad. “She whispered to me for years, convincing me that my sister did not care about me, and that if I would only commit the ultimate act of betrayal, I would finally earn the love and adoration I so desperately sought.”

Luna shook her head, then leaned in just a hair closer to ensure she had his attention. “Every creature has this voice, and every creature has, at some point, fallen into that... ‘muddy pit.’ It just so happens that when this occurs with very powerful beings, like alicorns, and yes, dragons, the results tend to be a bit more...” She looked up and raised an eyebrow before looking back at Spike, the corner of her mouth every so slightly turned up. “Dramatic.”

Spike let out a tiny chuckle, more a sharp exhalation than anything, but Luna took it as a good sign. “Spike, acknowledging the existence of this voice is part of growing up, as is developing the fortitude to ignore it and say no. It is not a short path, nor an easy one, and it requires constant vigilance to not stray. However, never forget that you have a very powerful tool to aid you, one that I sadly turned my back on long ago.” When Spike arched an eyebrow, she smiled. “Your friends and family! They will always be by your side, and should you let them, they will do what they can to ensure you never fall again.”

However, it seemed that her words of encouragement had the opposite effect. Instead of raising his spirits, his eyes dimmed. “No, they won’t,” he muttered.

“What?”

Once more, he pulled his knees to his chest, though thankfully this time he did not face away. “When we were walking home, I... I could hear the whispers. See the looks the ponies on the street were giving me. They didn’t trust me anymore, leaned away as I walked by. Looked at me like I was a m-monster, or... a bomb or something.”

“Spike, they are indeed wrong, but please do not—”

“The girls, too.”

That ground Luna’s thoughts to a halt. “What?”

“I saw it,” he muttered. “I-in their eyes, that same nervousness, the... nrgh, the f-fear. They didn’t say anything, but I could tell. They’ll never look at me the same way again. A-always be wondering when’s the next time I’ll snap. And one day... they’ll get tired of always being on edge and...” He sniffled once, an almost visible weight on his tiny shoulders. “Leave. S-send me away.”

Several rather awkward moments of silence passed as Luna pondered her response. She had a good feeling that her usual bluntness—outright stating that the idea of his friends, the embodiment of the very aspects of friendship, abandoning him was patently ridiculous—would do little to assuage his fears. However, she could also not risk doing or saying anything that would even infer that he was right. That kind of seed, once planted, was nearly impossible to uproot. Her mind raced to find the right words, and then her left ear flicked. Very faintly, she could make out a frantic pounding on the front door downstairs, followed by the clamor of hooves entering the library.

She got an idea.

It was a bit of a gamble. While she had read all of Twilight Sparkle’s letters to Tia, and had interacted with them on Nightmare Night, there was always the off-chance that she didn’t know the Element bearers as well as she thought she did. This had the slight possibility of going horribly wrong, but the potential benefit far out weighted the risk.

“Spike?” she whispered. When he didn’t acknowledge her, she nudged his shoulder. “Spike,” she said with a bit more force. He finally met her eyes, and she smiled. “I want you to watch something.” With that, she closed her eyes, and her horn softly glowed. She subtly wove her spell, for she had to be subtle lest Twilight, keen mage that she was, notice the invisible sensor Luna conjured in the foyer downstairs. Once she had placed it, she opened her eyes, and a hazy blue circle appeared in the air before them. Despite his mood, Spike watched with an obvious hint of awe as the circle solidified, and after several moments, the sights and sounds from downstairs became clear.

“Sorry we took so long,“ Applejack said. “The Guard finally showed up an’ took over, so we came runnin’ fast as we could.”

“Now,” Rarity said, “where is dear little Spike?!”

“He’s upstairs,” Twilight muttered, eyes still cast downwards. “With Princess Luna.”

“Princess Luna?” Rarity asked, but her eyebrows quickly raised. “Well, I... suppose that makes a lot of sense.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever!” Rainbow pushed her way to the front of the group, hovering in the air right before Twilight. “But how is he?! Is he, like, you know...” She waved her hoof around in a circle a few times before she found the word. “Okay?”

Twilight sighed. “I don’t know. Oh, girls, I’m...” She finally looked up as tears welled in her eyes. “I-I’m scared.”

Luna felt every muscle in Spike’s body tense as he whimpered, but she gently wrapped a hoof around his shoulder, holding him in place. “Shhhh, just watch.”

“Scared?” Fluttershy asked.

“Yes,” Twilight said. “I’ve... b-back in Canterlot, I read every single one of the very few books the Grand Archives had on dragons, and nearly every other book I could find about any creatures that even resemble dragons! Yet I’d never even heard of anything like... ‘greed growth,’ or whatever it is!”

“Well, yeah,” Pinkie Pie said, scratching her poofy mane. “But didn’t you once tell us that Princess Celestia once told you that she never once knew all that much about dragons herself once?”

“That’s beside the point, Pinkie.” Twilight slowly sank to her haunches. “Princess Celestia may have been Spike’s primary caretaker for the first few years of his life, but I was there nearly every day. He’s been with me every single day since he was six years old. He trusts me, he relies on me, and I... I-I failed him.”

Fluttershy put a comforting wing on Twilight and opened her mouth to speak, but Twilight continued. “I had no idea this was coming, but even worse, once it started, I couldn’t do anything to help. Even after Zecora clued me in, there... th-there was nothing I could do. And now he’s so hurt because I wasn’t there for him. He’s going through something so difficult... a-and I can’t help him. What if he starts to think I d-don’t care? W-what if he wants to leave and move back with—”

This time, Luna did nothing but smile as Spike scampered to his feet and raced out of the bedroom. Less than five seconds after he had flung the door open, Luna saw him slam into Twilight's chest, sending her reeling unceremoniously to the ground. Nevertheless, she returned his iron-strong embrace as he wept into her shoulder, her own tears having broken and falling down her cheeks. Though their sobs were loud, Luna could hear Twilight muttering, “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” over and over again.

The pair stayed like that for what felt like an eternity. The other girls gave them space, tears in their own eyes despite the warm smiles. Eventually, they calmed down enough, and Twilight pulled back to look him in the eye. “Spike,” she said with a sniffle, “I am so sorry that I wasn’t able to help you.”

“No,” Spike nearly yelled. “Don’t be sorry, Twi. I’m sorry! I’m sorry that I...” His eyes drifted across his friends. “I-I put you all in danger. I could have hurt you! Princess Luna said even she didn’t know, but if I had I would have... g-gone.”

“Gone?” Fluttershy asked. “What do you mean?”

Tears once more welled up in Spike’s eyes. “I... i-it won’t happen again, I promise! I’ll do whatever it takes! I’ll throw away my blanky, a-and my basket! I’ll burn my comic books! I-I’ll never own anything again! Just please... don’t leave?” He locked eyes with Twilight. “Don’t send me away,” he squeaked.

Twilight gasped. “Send you... oh, Spike, no!” She once more pulled him close, cradling him to her chest. “No, no, no, no, I’d never do that! Not in a million years!”

“She is quite right,” Rarity said with a dainty snort. “The very idea that I would abandon my widdle Spikey-Wikey in his time of greatest need. Ha! Preposterous!”

“Yeah, it’s okay, Spikarooni!” Pinkie chirped. “It doesn’t matter how super big, super scary, and super dragony you get! You’ll always be our little guy!”

“Uh, hello?” Dash said, striking an epic pose in the air. “Rainbow Dash here. Loyalty is kinda my thing. Besides, now I definitely want to stick around and watch you grow up normally. I mean, can you imagine being that big again but still being you?! You’ll be a total badass!”

“Still, I...” Spike gnawed at his lip. “I mean, I lost control, and I... I-I couldn’t stop myself.”

“Yeah, and?” Applejack said with a smile. “Trust us, Spike. Y’all ain’t the only one who’s acted a fool because yer emotions got in the way.” Applejack blushed. “Not that I enjoy bringing up one of my worse moments, but I’m pretty sure ya remember the time I tried to buck an entire orchard by myself because I was too durn proud to let anypony help me.”

“Sadly, she’s right,” Rarity said with a dramatic sigh. “Even the most proper of ladies can fall victim to such a thing. I, myself, have at times given in to—”

“Complete emotional breakdowns?” Applejack said.

“Histrionics,” Rarity hissed.

“And remember the time that I thought my friends were all lying to me and avoiding me because they didn’t like my parties and didn’t want to be my friends anymore so I got all super depressed and my hair got all super limp and super Maud-y and I locked myself in my room and thought the only pony who wanted to talk to me was Sir Lints-a-Lot, and let me tell you, a pile of lint is not a good conversationalist! Now Madam LeFlour, that girl can chat up a storm!”

Luna heard Spike giggle, and she adjusted the position of the scrying spell to get a better look at his face. He was glancing around at his friends as they bantered and talked. A small tear welled up in her eye at the grin spreading across Spike’s face. As with her last year, seeing him understand that his fears were unfounded—that those who loved him still did despite what he had done, that he was not beyond redemption—all but lifted a physical weight from her heart.

“The point,” Twilight said, hugging him close, “is that we may not know exactly what you're going through, but we’re going to be here for you every step of the way as you figure it out. Because we love you, Spike. I... I-I love you. A-and I’m sorry if I don’t say it enough.”

The smile on Spike’s face would warm Luna’s heart for many years to come. “I... I-love you too, Twilight.” He sniffled, then once more buried himself into her shoulder. As she held him close, the other girls all swept in to join the embrace.

After the hug pile finally broke apart, Twilight opened her mouth to speak when the front door flew open. Shining Armor barged in, chest heaving under his duty armor. “Twily?!” he shouted. “Twily, where is—”

“Shiny!” Spike stood from Twilight’s lap and raced over to the stallion, who greeted him with open arms.

“Hey hey, kiddo,” Shining said, wrapping one arm around Spike while the other delivered a playful noogie to his head spines, causing him to giggle and fuss. After a moment, Spike finally wriggled out of his hold. “Sorry it took me so long to get here. I was, uh... busy, ya know?”

Spike paled, his lower lip just beginning to quiver. “Shining, I’m—”

“Hey, don’t sweat it, bro,” he said with a wave of his hoof. “Heh, I had actually just begun what was going to be a four-hour troop inspection.” He leaned down to stage whisper at Spike. “If anything, I should be thanking you.” He then winked, and Spike visibly relaxed and let out a single chuckle.

“Twilight, darling,” Rarity said as she took a bold step towards Shining Armor, batting her eyes and primping her mane. “Do you know this... mmm, strapping young Guardstallion?”

As Rainbow rolled her eyes, Applejack face-hoofed, and Spike giggled, Twilight blanched. “Uh... ah-ha-ha-ha-ha!” She pumped her right foreleg through the air in a sort of “aw, shucks” gesture. “I guess I... forgot to mention him!”

“Twily?” Shining asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Uh, g-girls? This is Shining Armor! He’s...”

Luna giggled and cancelled the scrying spell. What was happening downstairs was obviously going to be a somewhat awkward conversation. Truth be told, Luna looked forward to reading about it in one of Twilight’s letters... or perhaps infer about it based on what she didn’t say. Regardless, Luna teleported away, aiming for City Hall to finally speak with the mayor.

The sun had just begun to fall behind the horizon as Luna reached Canterlot with a scant few guards by her side. The three Wonderbolts had left hours earlier after a dressing down by Luna for their foolhardiness of attacking a grown dragon with three ponies. Most of the force had remained in Ponyville to continue the rebuilding and recovery efforts, and she dismissed the force that had returned with her for some much deserved rest

Her emotional conversation with Spike—and the long day of helping to calm Ponyville as well as overseeing the initial repairs—had left her quite drained, and she still had raise the moon, and then she had three hours of Night Court to look forward to. After that, a full night of patrolling the dreams of the Ponyville citizens, which were likely to be wrought with nightmares. Still, as she crested the high walls of the castle, she did not head for the throne room. Instead, she angled herself upwards, flying towards the gilded balcony high above.

As she had anticipated, the first thing she saw when she neared was Celestia pacing back and forth in her room, her peytral and golden shoes discarded in a heap by her bed. Even before she landed, Luna could see the worry in Tia’s furrowed brow, the tension as she gnawed at her lip. It seemed she still underestimated how deeply her sister cared for Spike. “Mommy,” indeed.

The moment her silver-shod hooves touched down on the polished marble with a soft clack, Tia’s entire body tensed as she whirled around to face Luna. “Lulu!” she cried, racing to the open balcony.

Luna eagerly accepted Tia’s fierce embrace, wrapping a wing around her and nuzzling tight into her neck. Quickly though, Celestia drew back and looked to Luna with heavy eyes. “Is... is he...” Luna could tell how carefully she was considering her words, her question painfully obvious to both of them, but she still didn’t want to just blurt it out. Eventually, her shoulders sagged just a bit and she sighed. “How is he?”

With a warm smile, Luna reached out and took Celestia’s hoof in hers. “He is going to be alright, Tia. He is back on the right path... and he has run toward those who love him, not away.”

Immediately, Celestia’s eyes brightened, and a wave of relief seemed to wash over her. She gave Luna’s hoof a tight squeeze. “I... thank you. Still,” she said, brow knitted and biting her lip, “I really should go and see him. Just for a moment.”

“Tia,” Luna said with just enough force to break her from her worried mind. “It’s quite late. If I may suggest, I would send him and Twilight a letter tomorrow. Let him decide when he would like to see you. I promise you, it won’t be long.”

Celestia let out a quiet laugh. “I suppose you’re right. I wouldn’t want to overwhelm him. Perhaps I should—”

“I understand now,” Luna blurted out. Part of her wished she had remained silent, but when Celestia quirked her eyebrows, she sighed and continued. “H-how you felt when I first returned and... heh, banished myself for a time. It was quite eye-opening... and just a bit awkward to see it from ‘your side of the door,’ as it were.” Luna blinked hard to try and prevent her tears. “Speaking with Spike made me realize certain... parallels that I hadn’t considered before.”

“Parallels?”

Luna’s breathing hitched as Celestia approached. “One... one of Spike’s greatest regrets about today was that he felt he had... let Twilight down, and I never... n-never considered...”

When Luna sniffled, Celestia once more leaned in and nuzzled her. “Oh, Lulu...”

A lone tear escaped Luna’s eye. “I’m... I’m sorry if I disappointed you.”

Several moments passed before Celestia spoke. “Any disappointment I held towards you was greatly eclipsed by what I felt for myself. Not to repeat the point for the thousandth time... but I am so sorry that I didn’t see how badly you were hurting.”

The corner of Luna’s mouth curled upwards despite her misty eyes. “I-I swear I’ll never put you in that situation again.”

Celestia paused for just a moment, then gave Luna that warm, caring, wonderful smile that had helped her through her own guilt for the past year. “And as I said, I swear to never again give you a reason to.”

The sisters held their gaze for several moments before reaching out and embracing. Several tears were shed, and a few words of love were muttered as Luna’s horn softly glowed, beckoning the moon to rise.