PRN Hospital: Shock and Awww
The day shift in Ponyville Regional Network Hospital was a little different than the night. The slow steady plod of the night was replaced with a constant stream of interaction. It wasn’t as emergent but still satisfying. It also made the day breeze along.
Nurse Redheart finished her third sprained hoof this morning. It felt like a strange epidemic. Ponies left and right were falling over themselves, as if gravity had been turned up. Redheart sighed as Noteworthy was wheeled by and joined the rest of his fallen squad.
“We got another one, Red,” Klinger Gauze said as he and Ace Bandage wheeled in another pony on a stretcher.
“What is going on out there? Why is every pony tripping?” Redheart bemoaned.
“Oh this one didn’t trip so much as fall, from the sky,” explained Ace while he stared at Nurse Snowheart. “She was flying along and ..”
“Ahem,” Nurse Redheart interrupted, causing Ace’s head to frantically turn toward her. A slight blush shown through his red coat.
“Oh sorry Nurse Redheart. I Umm, yeah so Rainbow Dash here just kind of fell out of the sky according to bystanders. Do you think it’s related to the falls all over town?” Ace asked earnestly.
The rookie Emergency Wagon technician seemed to love linking as many calls together as he could. Equestria could be under magical threat on a daily basis according to his findings.
“I don’t think so, Ace, unless dehydration is contagious,” Redheart stated as she used her hooves to pull up Rainbow’s skin. It slowly returned to its smooth shape. “Do you see how long it took to bounce back?” she explained. “That’s called tenting. It’s a sign of dehydration. She probably was practicing too hard again and forgot to hydrate. Place her over in bed 3.”
Nurse Redheart followed the emergency team over grabbing a saline bag in her teeth on the way. The pegasus already had an IV started by Klinger. She attached the bag and began taking Rainbow’s vitals. She checked the downed pegasus’s eyes and mouth noticed the dried mucosa. This confirmed her suspicions. She pierced the saline bag with a dropset and purged it. Then she attached the end to the catheter hub and ran the bag open wide.
“Where is she?! Ah will tan her hide!” shouted a voice from the entrance. The staff and patients scattered as the voice’s owner barged through.
Nurse Redheart turned to her ER tech, Scrubs. “Watch her. Let me know if her vitals change,” she commanded. “I have to find out what’s going on.”
“You can count on me,” Scrubs said with an exaggerated salute. The little yellow unicorn knocked the glasses off his own face once doing that, and Redheart couldn’t help but smile.
“I’ll be right back.” The Nurse stomped her way to the entrance like a tank ready for battle. She did not tolerate a chaotic ER. She had even less time for over dramatics. Ponies had enough trouble recovering from their various ailments without some family member making a scene.
She sought out the trouble maker and was surprised to find Applejack shouting at nurses from the in-patient wings.
“Tell me where Rainbow Dash is! If she ain’t dead Ah mean to make her!” the cowpony shouted.
“Applejack!” Nurse Redheart reprimanded. “What do you think you’re doing?!”
“Ah heard Rainbow fell outta the sky! Some dang fool trick!” Applejack explained, rounding on the unflinching nurse. “Is she here?!”
“And if she was, what is scaring my staff and interrupting everypony else’s peace going to do?”
Applejack turned red and ground her teeth but became more silent. Redheart waited and said nothing. Finally the farm pony looked down at the ground still red. “Ah’m sorry Ah’m just a might worried. I-is she here?”
“Yes she is,” the nurse said in a softer tone.
“Is she gonna be alright?”
“She was just dehydrated. She should perk up once we give her some fluids.”
“Can Ah see her?”
“Do you promise to behave?” Redheart said eyeing the red faced farm pony suspiciously.
“Yes ma’am,” she responded much meeker than before.
“Then I will let you in to see her, but no killing or threatening my patients. Including her.”
Applejack fervently nodded. There was less anger and more fear in her eyes. Redheart couldn’t turn her away. Something different was in Applejack’s stance and pleading state that the nurse hadn’t seen before. It felt like this was not just a friend.
Redheart turned and led the concerned mare to Rainbow’s bed. The farm pony nearly bowled her over to grab the fallen comrade’s hoof.
“Ya dang fool,” Applejack softly chided. “Ya didn’t have ta practice so hard just ta impress me. Ah know ya wanted our first Heart’s and Hooves day together ta be special but ya gotta know me worrying’ over ya is not how Ah wanted to spend it.”
What had Applejack just said? Redheart looked around and noticed Nurse Ivy Push leaning a lot closer to Klinger then they ever had. She caught Ace giggling sheepishly in the corner while Snowheart stared. Snowheart was like that and didn’t show much emotion. She looked back at Applejack leaning on Rainbow’s chest with a look of concern.
Then it all made sense. The heart decorations everywhere. The music in the park she passed. The leg sprains from couples looking into each other’s eyes and not where they were going.
It was Hearts and Hooves day! The most uncomfortable day for a single pony like Redheart. Everywhere couples were experiencing bliss with each other right in front of her face. They were gushing about gifts and plans and love itself.
The nurse was about to shout at the couples in her ER, especially the staff, when the door to the emergency room opened and a panicked unicorn carrying a pegasus burst in.
“I am in need of assistance! My friend has collapsed!” screamed Rarity. A pegasus Redheart had never seen before was draped across her shoulders. Well she seemed to be. On closer inspection the nurse noticed Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo holding the pegasus up.
“I’m not hurt, Rarity, don’t cha know. My prosthetic just gave out,” the pegasus explained. Redheart had not seen a pegasus quite like her. She had a bright pink mane with a light pink streak through the middle similar to Redheart’s own mane color. Her coat was an aquamarine covered partially by a knitted vest. She also had a strange pin covered accessory in her mane. Her left rear leg was a mechanized prosthetic, which hung limply in Scootaloo’s outstretched forehooves. But the one thing that stood out more than those was her violet eyes. They shone like purple beacons of hope and interest.
Nurse Redheart shook her head. She let the moment pass and returned to her job. “Are you injured, miss…?”
“Kerfuffle..,” the pegasus said to her hooves. “And, umm, no. My prosthetic leg just collapsed. It’s not working right. Maybe I could just fly home and have my mechanic look at it.”
“And where is home?”
“Hope Hollow.”
“That’s quite far for a pegasus with only three legs. If you can’t walk you won’t be able to land on it properly and could injure yourself further.”
“Oh don’t make too much fuss over me. I’ll be fine,” Kerfuffle lifted herself off of Rarity’s back with a flap, much to the relief of Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo. “See?” She stated triumphantly. “I think I can manage.”
The pegasus ended her demonstration by landing on the ground only to have her prosthetic leg slide back limpy placing the poor pegasus on the floor.
Redheart sprang into action and was by her side in milliseconds. She lifted the surprisingly light pegasus back up and shouted,”can some pony get me a wheelchair?”
Kerfuffle said nothing but looked up at Redheart with a scarlet face. The poor thing must be embarrassed about needing help. Ponies can be stubborn that way. They don’t like to be seen in a state of weakness. The nurse placed on her warmest of smiles to reassure her patient.
“Perhaps I should get it looked at,” Kerfuffle finally relented. “Ya got some strong forelegs there, Nurse.”
The nurse had to shift her hooves for a better grip of her fallen patient. Pegasi might be light compared to earth ponies but they still got heavy after a while. Ace showed up with a wheelchair and looked at the pair wide-eyed.
“Is there a problem Ace?” Redheart’s icy tone froze the emergency pony’s blood.
“No ma’am you two just looked… nevermind,” Ace finished before he began. Whatever it was, he did not think it was worth saying.
Nurse Redheart placed Kerfuffle in the chair and began to wheel her to a vacant exam room. Rarity and her entourage followed.
“While we’re at it, I‘ll see if I can mend that terrible cut to her vest,” Rarity bemoaned. “It’s just awful. That’s a hoof knitted item. Nearly impossible to fix.”
“I’ll, uh, leave that to you, Rarity,” Redheart informed. If there was a cut on Kerfuffle’s vest then it could mean that her skin was cut too. She would have to make a thorough examination. “Now if you and your ...underlings could wait out here I need to do my job.”
“Yes, Nurse Redheart, of course,” Rarity replied, shooing the CMCs out the door with her.
The nurse shut the door to the room and noticed Kerfuffle jump a little. She was quite skittish. She wondered if it was her or hospitals or the situation that was making the pegasus so uncomfortable.
“Alright I’m going to help you to the bed and we can get a good look at you,” informed Redheart. “Oh and that vest and hair piece will have to come off. Just so I can really check you out. I’ll give it to Rarity to mend.”
Kerfuffle allowed the earth pony to once again lift her from the chair to the hospital bed. The pegasus seemed more sheepish than when Redheart lifted her by the front. She slowly took off her vest and hair piece and Redheart noted the laceration on the pegasus’s side.
“So you did receive an injury from the fall.”
Kerfuffle nodded. “I didn’t want ta make Rarity feel bad. Weren’t her fault my leg stopped working.”
“Lie down and I will take a look.”
Redheart began her normal exam. It started at the pegasus’s head. She lightly prodded and pressed her hooves around Kerfuffle’s body being sure to don her gloves prior. The pegasus didn’t react much. Redheart would ask if there was any pain every so often but was met with a head shake.
“Ooo,” Kerfuffle said and winced as the Nurse passed over her shoulder. There was some slight bruising but Redheart didn’t feel any crepitus or deformity. She found an ice pack and placed it on the pegasus’s side to help reduce the pain and swelling.
“Any other pain I should know about? Did you hit your head or pass out at all?” Redheart asked while attempting to gauge her patient’s reaction.
“No.”
The response was so curt that Redheart started to feel concerned. “Look, I know I might seem kind of rough but I do mean well. If you would like a different nurse I can get one for you. I don’t want any pony to feel that uncomfortable in my care.”
“What?! No!” Kerfuffle shouted and lifted her head to look at the concerned earth pony properly. “I’m just not used to all this attention. Yer hooves are very gentle fer some pony so strong.”
“I don’t think any pony has said that before, especially when I am examining a sore spot,” the nurse said, taken back by the sudden compliment. She deflected by pointing to the door, “Now then, here comes the doctor.”
Doctor Horse liked to give off the air of one who is confident and calm in all situations. When he wasn’t panicking. Which happened pretty regularly. This time the doctor seemed to feel he had everything in hoof. He sauntered into the room and glanced at Kerfuffle on the table.
“Hello I’m Doctor..gosh you’re cute.”
“Doctor! You are not allowed to say that to your patients!” Redheart berated.
“But when I say it to you, you hit me,” whined the Doc.
“You’ll get a hoofful now if you don’t treat this patient with respect.”
The Doctor sighed and resumed his lower more “doctor-like” voice. “Miss..” He paused and glanced at the patient care report. “Kerfuffle, it says here that you are having issues with your prosthetic leg and had a little tumble.”
“Yeah I did,” the pegasus admitted unashamedly. “I got a little cut on my shoulder and a little bruising but nothing too bad.”
“Is your leg functioning now?”
“Nah. It’s just hanging there, like a loose bit of yarn.”
“I see,” the Doctor said and peered at the offending limb as if his gaze alone would bring it back to life. When it didn’t, he placed his hooves on the limb and began to inspect it more thoroughly. Redheart wondered if the good doctor actually knew what he was doing despite his overtly confident expression.
Doctor Horse inspected the prosthetic and probed it with his hoof. He found the main power source then traced the wire array that directed the magic. He got to the ankle and said, “I think I found the problem. One of the wires is cut. I just have to find the wire trimmer and…”
The Doc’s treatment discussion was cut short as the wires arced and threw him against the wall. He crumpled and looked at Redheart with wide eyes.
“Oh no!” Kerfuffle shouted, sitting up in surprise. Shock and fear traced across her face.
“Doc?” Nurse Redheart asked and rushed to him. She placed her hoof on his carotid artery and prayed. She felt a slight quiver. The doctor’s chest wasn’t moving. “Oh no. He’s not breathing.”
She quickly grabbed the bag-valve mask hanging from the wall and placed it over the Doc’s mouth. She depressed the air filled bulb in the back. It forced the air through the mask and inflated the unconscious Doc’s lungs, causing his chest to rise.
Redheart felt adrenaline boiling up inside her, but knew better than to let it consume her. She allowed her mind just ten seconds of panic, each one followed by a breath. As they ticked away, her focus returned with sharp intensity - now was not the time for panic. She needed to manage the situation.
“Klinger! Ace! Snowheart! We need a crash cart and a hoof in here! Ivy, manage the floor.”
The stunned staff rushed to the nurse’s command. Each instruction was like a crack of lightning and had the same ferocity.
“What happened?!” Klinger immediately demanded rushing to the fallen pony’s side. “Does he have a pulse?!”
“It’s faint and I don’t think it’s viable. He got hit with a magical discharge,” Red explained. “We need to get him to the table to work on him. Snowheart, take over bagging. Ace, Klinger help lift him onto the table. I’ll get Kerfuffle off.”
“I’m sorry! I’m so sorry,” Kerfuffle began to wail.
The team moved with panicked precision. The head nurse quickly lifted the light pegasus off the table and placed her in the nearby wheelchair. She tried holding the pegasus a second longer than she should have to help calm her down.
“Hey,” the nurse said, releasing the panicking Kerfuffle. “This isn’t your fault dear. The doctor should have known better than to touch wires without turning the magic off.”
“But it was my leg! Is he dead?!” the pale pegasus whimpered.
“No. And he won’t be until his wife finds out and then she will kill him.”
She gave Kerfuffle the warmest smile and was given a meek flushed face in return. Then she turned to assist the team. Ace was still squeezing the bag and Klinger was throwing a set of defibrillator pads onto the doctor’s chest. Nurse Snowheart was deftly finding a vein and inserted a long sharp needle into it.
“IV is in,” Snowheart declared.
“We have a rhythm,” Klinger said looking at the cardiac monitor.
Nurse Redheart watched the display as the lines rapidly traced across in high fast arcs. She could barely see any of the signifiers that helped her interpret the electrical activity. The panic threatened her again. The rhythm wouldn’t last long and soon his heart would fail. It was a lot harder to restart a heart then it was to knock back into rhythm.
“He’s in V Tach,” she definitively declared.
“What’s that?” Kerfuffle demanded. Her eyes were like saucer plates and her color still pale.
“It means his heart’s ventricles are firing too fast to fill with blood first,” Redheart explained. “It’s a rhythm we call ventricular tachycardia. It’s not good.”
“Oh dear.”
The earth pony didn’t want to upset her patient further but she always believed in telling the truth. She hoped that if she could explain what was happening Kerfuffle would calm down. Patients don’t like to be left in the dark and this one felt personally responsible.
“We can shock him back into a normal rhythm,” Klinger said as he charged the defibrillator. There was a practiced calm in his voice. Klinger had seen this multiple times before. “Hopefully.”
The device emitted this high-pitched whine that caused Kerfuffle to place her hooves in her ears.
“Clear!” shouted the Medic. The group pulled their hooves back in response as the Doc’s body jumped on the table. Ace was a little late but he knew the risks of keeping his hooves on the patient. The electricity that ran through the Doc’s body could easily pass into him. If he wasn’t careful they would have two patients with the same problem.
“We got nothing,” Nurse Redheart announced. It was a worst case scenario. If the rhythm didn’t convert back to its normal beat then the heart didn’t have long. “Snowheart administer the amiodarone.”
“The what?” Kerfuffle had wheeled closer to get a better look. The nurse nearly tripped over her.
“It’s an antiarrhythmic,” Redheart said with no heat, just purpose. “It helps the heart return to its regular rhythm. And please Kerfuffle I need some space”
“But I want ta help,” Kerfuffle said with a look of panicked determination.
“That’s cute..I mean appreciated. But we have it from here. Why don’t you wheel over there and I’ll talk to you when we’re done.”
“Amiodarone in.”
“Still in the same rhythm we’re going to shock again,” Klinger announced as his hoof caused the machine to begin its warning scream. “Clear!”
The doctor’s body jerked as the joules of electricity coursed through his body. Redheart could feel her breath still. She stared at the monitor and watched the rhythm. If her gaze were any more intense the monitor would have caught fire. The rest of the team waited.
The heart’s electrical system reset and it returned happily to the thing it did best. Pumping blood and keeping ponies alive.
“It’s back to sinus,” Redheart sighed. She could feel the adrenaline buzzing through her own body. She helped put an oxygen mask on the doc as he resumed breathing again. The other ponies in the room sighed in relief.
PRN Hospital: Shock and Awww
“This is supposed to be Heart’s and Hooves day not stop your heart day,” whined Klinger as he moved out the room. “I nearly had a coronary myself.”
“What’s going on?” asked a voice from behind them. Redheart turned and saw a white earth pony and a teal unicorn peeking in. It was Hermes the other emergency wagon operator and medic Asclepius.
“What seems to be the conundrum?” Asclepius asked. His deep soothing voice was legendary. It was almost a special talent on its own. He should have a cutie mark of a microphone instead of a snake coiled around a stick. The ER seemed to stop what they were doing and just listen when he spoke.
“Doctor Horse had an accident with some magic,” Nurse Redheart explained. She knew what had to be done and knew the ER wasn’t going to like it. “He’s stable now but I need you to go get Doctor Caduceus. Hermes please get Doctor Whooves.”
“Yes ma’am,” crooned the medic and disappeared in a flash of apple green.
“Doctor Whooves?” asked Hermes, his face scrunched up in confusion. “You know he has no medical training right?”
“Of course I do,” snapped the nurse then shifted to a gentler tone when she caught Kerfuffle staring. “But Whooves knows mechanics and magical devices. He should know how to fix the leg safely.”
“Oh right. Good idea.” Hermes sped away to accomplish his task. Most of Ponyville would know if Hermes was running like that to stay out of the way.
“Doctor Caduceus?” whined Klinger.
“He’s on call.”
“But now we have to deal with Doctor Ca-Douche-us. He’s so condescending.”
“I know,” Redheart sighed, hearing the string of beration in her head already, “But Doctor Rangelove was on last night and she didn’t look ready to come back anytime soon.”
“I’m really sorry I got in yer way. I just wanted to help. I didn’t want ta hurt the Doc,” Kerfuffle said downcast.
“It’s not your fault Kerfuffle,” the nurse said with a sigh. She sat in the family chair next to the apologetic mare.
“Look I know that feeling to help, especially when you think it’s your fault. But you have to trust the rest of us to do our job.”
“I know. I didn’t think. I just felt awful and where I am from, we pitch together when a pony needs help.”
The downcast pegasus looked up with sparkling eyes. “You were wonderful back there.”
“What?”
“The way ya just took over and told everypony what ta do. I was really impressed.”
“Oh that’s just years of experience,” Redheart said dismissively. She tried to look away from that glowing face.
“So yer like the most experienced nurse here?” Kerfuffle’s face filled with awe and admiration.
“Actually Snowheart has a few years on me, she is the eldest of us,” Redheart explained with a glance in the mentioned nurse’s direction.
“Of the nurses?”
“Well of our family.”
“You ponies are all related?” Kerfuffle said with even more awe somehow.
“Well not all the nurses. Just the hearts. My parents liked the theme and started this clinic. Snowheart is the oldest, then me and Tenderheart are twins, then Sweetheart. Then our little brother Big Heart. Well he’s not actually little. We all loved the clinic when it began, and my mom was so proud when we all got cutie marks in the medical field. This is their legacy and we help keep it going.”
“Oh I’m sorry. Are yer parents gone then?”
“No just retired.”
Kerfuffle relaxed a bit and sat back in her chair. She watched Redheart with those bright velvet eyes. The nurse started to wonder if the V Tach was contagious. She looked around And noted the flow of the ER had slowed. She could spend a little more time.
“Look I feel really bad that I got in the way,” Kerfuffle said looking away. “Can I make it up to you? Maybe take ya out fer some food? I mean ta apologize. Like just a quick bite fer yer break.”
Redheart looked at the pleading face looking back at her. “I ..,” she began and hesitated. Normally a pony offering to take her out was immediately rejected. This time she couldn’t make this patient feel any worse. She did kind of snap at her. “Sure. Once the doctors get here, I’ll take my break and we can get something to eat.”
Her thoughts were scattered as Dr Caduceus arrived in that same green glow. Asclepius’s expression was completely unreadable under that mustache and goatee as always. The unicorn medic merely nodded and walked back to the ems room. Redheart rushed to the doctor’s side.
“Alright what mess did you all make that I have to clean up?” the short purple Doctor snarked.
“He’s in the examination room Doctor Caduceus,” Redheart sighed.
“I was told what happened. I’m surprised he’s alive at all,” he said looking up at her with a strange gleam in his eyes. He strode off to Doctor Horse’s room. He was at it already. She wondered if she could maintain herself this time. The last time they worked together she had really let him have it.
“Ooh he doesn’t seem very nice,” Kerfuffle said, wheeling up behind her.
“Quite an astute observation,” complemented Doctor Whooves as he strode in with Hermes in tow. “You must be Kerfuffle. I’m here to fix your prosthesis. Now what is a fine filly like yourself doing in such a distraught disposition?”
“Umm,” Kerfuffle fumbled. “I, eh, don’t like males that way. Sorry, eh.”
“Huh? Oh! Ha ha,” the good Doctor laughed. “I’m not hitting on you I assure you. It may be Hearts and Hooves Day,” Redheart cringed at the reminder, ”but Rose Luck would be extremely irate indeed if I showed affection to another mare.”
“Oh, ya were just being friendly, I see. I don’t understand much of yer fancy talk. But if ya want ta have a look at my leg that would be alright. Just don’t break it further. Torque Wrench would tan my flank if she knows I broke it, don’tcha know?”
“This your girlfriend I trust?”
“Ooh ho ho. No. Torque is a little too coarse fer me. Her hooves are too rough. I like soft, gentle hooves but strong ones that can lift me off my own, eh”
“That is quite specific,” Doctor Whooves said as he began to inspect the limb. “I hope you find such a fine specimen. It is Hearts and Hooves day after all. Now! This prosthesis is in need of repair. I shall mend it and return it to you.”
The Doctor reached to the top of the prosthetic and slightly twisted and pulled. The leg came off leaving the stump with the attachment ring in place. Kerfuffle looked completely at ease. Redheart admired the pegasus’s self confidence.
“So yer ready fer yer break?” Kerfuffle asked eagerly.
“We have a cafeteria in the hospital. Did you want to go there?”
“Oh,” responded the pegasus looking at the ground. “I was thinking of goin’ to da park. Ta see the ducks. But it might be awkward with all those couples around.”
“know what you mean. Couples clinging to each other, or giving the solitary pony _stares_. We can go together. It would definitely be less awkward than being alone.”
“Wait, a successful Nurse like yerself is single?”
Nurse Redheart searched Kerfuffle’s face for signs of sarcasm or amusement. She seemed genuinely surprised. The nurse stroked her chin in thought.
“Snowheart, I’m going to take my break with Kerfuffle now. Maybe get something to eat.”
“Red, a break consists of removing your proximity from your patient” Snowheart said. “If you take that break with a patient it does not constitute a break.”
“I just mean I won’t be here.”
“I comprehend. You shall not be on break until you have taken leave of your patients.”
“I don’t think taking a patient out of the hospital is the same as having them here,” Redheart sighed. Her older sister had to be so specific. She was constantly rewording everything so that Snow would understand. Although she suspected that Snow knew perfectly well and was just riding her.
Nurse Snowheart took a long drawn out breath and stared her young sister in the eyes. “You do not comprehend. Taking a patient into the fresh air and socializing is considered within the standard of medical journals to be viable though an alternative method of helping. I am commending your forward thinking and not counting against the time you have reserved as your break.”
“Ok ok, Snow. Sheesh. It’s not my break.”
“This also comes with the condition that you do not have to return at a specified time. Enjoy your experiment.”
Before Redheart could contradict her, Snowheart turned away and began updating Doctor Caduceus on the current patients. She looked at the other staff. Each one quickly turned back to their duties as her eyes lighted upon them.
“Well,” the nurse said with a smile to Kerfuffle. “Let’s get going.”
“Don’t worry. I’ll make sure ya have a good time,” Kerfuffle assured with a genuine bright smile.
The fresh air brushed their manes and cleared the fear and tension from the prior excitement. The sky was blue and clear. All around Redheart noticed couples laughing and giggling together. Signs and banners proudly announced different activities those couples could try. Redheart felt herself cringing.
“So where do ya want ta go first on our date, eh?” Kerfuffle asked casually.
“Date? I thought you just wanted to see the ducks without feeling left out and get something to eat”
“Oh yeah. But I thought it would be fun ta try all these things we never get ta do because we’re single. Ya know, like a fake date. Hearts and Hooves day seems like a lot more fun in Ponyville than Hope Hollow.”
“We’re not allowed to date patients,” Redheart informed with a matter-of-fact tone. She did not expect this pegasus to be so forward. Still the prospect of doing these fun Hearts and Hooves day activities was something she always longed for.
“Oh don’t worry now, hun. This is a fake date. Ya know. Just ta feel less lonely.”
“I see. Well I guess if it’s not a real date I wouldn’t be breaking the rules.”
“He he he. I won’t tell no pony if you don’t sweetie.”
“Well, muffin,” Redheart snickered. “What would you like to do first?”
“That’s the spirit. I think ya got the right idea. Muffins it is. That sign says l there’s a bakery that serves love muffins. Do ya want ta know what love tastes like in muffin form my love?”
The nurse knew it was just for fun but she couldn’t help but feel her cheeks flush when Kerfuffle called her that. But she wasn’t going to let such silly things hinder a patient’s joy.
“But of course darling, I have always been curious.”
Redheart wheeled her patient-date towards Sugar Cube Corner where the promised pastry resided.
“So, how long has been since ya been on a real date?” Kerfuffle asked without looking back at her navigator.
“Well, it has been a long time. The last time was many years ago.”
“What was she like?”
“She was a teacher. She still is. We had a really good run but it seemed that both our lives were full of too much stress.”
“Oh that’s too bad,” her patient said but Redheart could see a smile across her face.
“You?”
“Oh, Umm, the Doc was right. I did date Torque Wrench for a bit, but it was quick. We were just so different. I make clothes, she makes everything else. It ended after a few moons.”
Redheart found Sugarcube Corner bustling with happy couples. She found the wheel chair ramp and pushed the ecstatic pegasus inside. There was some part of her that felt some true excitement at this prospect. Pinkie Pie immediately bounded in front of them.
“Nurse Redheart and—” she gasped “—Kerfuffle! What are you two doing here? Oh don’t tell me. You’re here for the big love muffin competition! Each year we bake large love muffins and have a couples competition to see who can eat the most of it. Wanna taste what love is?” Pinkie’s eyebrows arched up menacingly. “Oh horseapples. It’s only supposed to be for couples.”
“That’s ok Pinkie,” the nurse said, placing a dismissive hoof in the air. “We just wanted to try..”
“Oh sure. We’re a couple. Right Red my dear?” interjected Kerfuffle, leaning her head on Redheart’s shoulder. It was very warm and the warmth spread to the nurse’s face.
“Yeah Kerfuffle, my sweet.” This wasn’t going to work and the nurse knew it. Pinkie Pie could spot a lie a mile away.
“That’s great news!” Pinkie shouted, leaping in the air. “It’s great when couples get together on Hearts and Hooves Day. It makes the relationship even more special. And my Pinkie sense tells me you two are in love pretty deep already.”
Redheart snorted in surprise. Love. Kerfuffle’s head did not move from her shoulder. She glanced at the pegasus to see what she was doing to throw Pinkie off. Maybe this was a Pinkie prank.
Pinkie’s shout cut through her thoughts. “Two more for the love muffin! And make it a big one. These two really mean it.”
It felt over the top. It must be a Pinkie Prank. Still the pegasus felt so warm next to her. She allowed just a small glimpse of those warm, sparkling purple eyes. She could feel herself more drawn in. This is a patient! Stop! You are just helping a patient enjoy Hearts and Hooves Day.
Pinkie led them to a table big enough to accommodate Kerfuffle’s wheelchair. Then she placed an enormous muffin between them.
“This is a lot of love,” the nurse said looking at the mountain of quick bread and honey glazing. It glinted in the sunlight with sugar and strawberry drizzle. Redheart couldn’t look away from the spongy treat. It was what she had always wanted to try. Her date was on the other side of it. Why did she feel saddened by that?
“This is big. It’s a good thing there is the two of us,” Kerfuffle whispered around the cake to her. Redheart nodded.
“Let the challenge...BEGIN!” Pinkie shouted and fired a cannon off. Confetti rained down and Kerfuffle eagerly began to bite off huge chunks of muffin. Redheart remembered it was a contest and tried filling her mouth with as much sticky goodness as she could and still breathe. She tried not to think of the inherent choking hazard this monstrosity represented.
Bite after bite filled both of them. The little pegasus seemed unyieldingly ravenous. Redheart tried her best to keep a steady pace. She didn’t want to let her date down.
The munching continued until Redheart found a strange soft bit in the middle. She placed her snout further in and found something soft and wet. Another munch and soft wet thing became a mouth that suddenly kissed her in its reach for more muffin. Redheart reared her head back in surprise and realized that her and Kerfuffle ate their way to each other.
“And we have a winner!” shouted Pinkie. “You won the prize. A kiss from your true love! What could be a better prize than that?!!”
Redheart felt her face flush and looked around the muffin to find Kerfuffle perfectly fine. The pegasus took another mouthful of muffin and cheerly waved. Redheart wondered if Kerfuffle was actually interested in her romantically.
“You-you were ok with that?!” Redheart whispered in a shocked hiss.
“Yeah da muffin is great, don’t cha know.”
“Not the muffin. The...the kiss.”
“Oh yeah. We’re on a date aren’t we?”
“You said it wasn’t real,” Redheart pleaded. She wasn’t sure if she was angry or excited about the prospect.
“It ain’t. Ya can’t date patients can ya?”
“No.”
“Then of course this can’t be a real date,” Kerfuffle said with a wink.
Redheart felt floored. Had she agreed to a real date in disguise? Did it matter? Kerfuffle said she had wanted to do couple-like activities. Was kissing one of them?
The nurse heard the distinct sound of something buzzing. “What is that?”
“What’s what?”
“That buzzing sound.”
“Oh I, uhh, can’t hear it. My kiss must have rung yer bell, eh.”
Redheart shook her head slightly and sure enough the buzzing ended. Had that kiss really been that spectacular? It had been a long time since she had been kissed at all and she never heard sounds like that. Maybe because she hadn’t been expecting it.
“Maybe..”
“What should we do next my sweet?” Kerfuffle asked quickly.
The nurse thought through all the different things she had longingly looked at couples doing. She remembered the dream of walking down the street holding each other’s hoof. The boat ride, a nature hike, or just a walk in the park. All those things seemed like they might be a hindrance to a pony with a missing leg.
Finally her mind found it. It had been hiding in a place with a do not open sign for some reason. The thought heard the call and ran down the path to her mouth. Other thoughts chased it. But it was swift and it easily made it there and caused Redheart to blurt out, “A pony drawn carriage ride.”
“Ooh, very romantic. Ya sure know how ta show a pony a good time,” Kerfuffle commented.
It was then that the other thoughts that chased her thought caught up with her. Big Heart helped pull the carriages every year. She was supposed to be letting a patient get fresh air in the park not enjoying carriage rides as a “couple.”
“Maybe not,” the startled nurse said. “My brother pulls those carriages. He might think..”
“Oh it’s ok. I’ll behave myself this time. I promise.”
Redheart nodded. She brought the wheelchair from Sugar Cube Corner and joined the line for couples on a carriage ride. She could feel the eyes of the whole town on them. Most knew who Redheart was. She had treated them for years. Every year she had received looks of sympathy from those who knew she was too busy to find some pony special.
This year they looked at her with wonder. She was among them. She was with a mare. They didn’t know Kerfuffle but the way they jostled to get a closer peek one would think it was somepony famous. There were no accusations in their eyes as Redheart expected. No pony berating her for not doing her job right. They looked almost congratulatory.
Their support helped Redheart relax a little. After all, didn't she deserve happiness? She beamed at Kerfuffle who reflected that beam and returned it. Redheart didn’t even notice the line had dissipated and they were now next until a gruff “ahem,” sounded from the carriage waiting.
“Oh look,” Kerfuffle excitedly pointed. “It’s our turn.”
Redheart turned away from her date and beheld the massive light blue form of her younger brother, Big Heart. He looked at Red and her pegasus with confusion and suspicion. Redheart felt her hoof grabbed and turned to see the pegasus holding her it.
“We would like a carriage ride if ya don’t mind,” Kerfuffle said with a bright smile.
“And you are?” inquired Big Heart.
“Kerfuffle. Spelled like it sounds except for an extra “f” in da “fuff” the part. I’m here with my date,” Kerfuffle happily explained.
“Your date?!”
“Yeah, this is Redheart. She’s a nurse and my date fer Hearts and Hooves day.”
“He knows who I am Kerfuffle,” Redheart explained. “This is my brother, Big Heart. The youngest of us.”
“Oh, ah, sorry,” Kerfuffle began to falter, as she turned red as an allergic reaction. “I didn’t know who you were and yer family seems ta be pretty varied.”
“You are dating my sister?” Big Heart gasped and looked like he was going to cry.
“Well not officially,” the red faced pegasus admitted. “I’m still kind of her patient. We were hoping ta do the things couples do without feeling awkward.”
“So you don’t want to date my sister?” Big Heart asked, looking even paler.
“I didn’t say that. I just said we’re not on a real date now...well sort of.”
“So you want to do the things couples do with my sister but not date her?” Big Heart was sweating and pale now. Redheart knew it might not be long before he passed out.
Before she could intervene her crimson-faced date cut her off. “Look, Big Heart, I didn’t want ta admit this just yet. I want ta date yer sister fer real we just can’t because I’m still her patient and she says it’s against the rules. I didn’t want ta miss the day waiting for her. So can ya please just pretend we’re just pretending, eh?”
Redheart’s jaw dropped open. She watched numbly as a pair of light blue hooves picked up the lighter blue pegasus. Big Heart pulled the new suitor into a large hug. He was on the verge of crying again. Kerfuffle was momentarily shocked until she understood his intent. He placed her gently in the carriage and looked expectantly at his older sister.
Redheart found her body moving of its own accord and climbing into the carriage next to the blushing Kerfuffle. She eyed the pegasus suspiciously and waited. The carriage began to move as her brother excitedly pulled away. The movement jarred Kerfuffle into speech.
“I’m sorry I didn’t ask ya out properly. Ya just looked like ya needed a break and ya seemed so nice. I just wanted to see how much fun we could have together. I wanted ta see if we had that “special something” before I risked asking ya out.”
Redheart let the stern look on her face relax and the smile she had been hiding inside shone through. “So, you think we have this special something?”
“I do. Do you?”
Redheart was actually speechless and her smile didn’t want to leave. It stretched out across her face and prohibited any words. She nodded enthusiastically and was rewarded with the gentle weight of Kerfuffle. The pegasus leaned her head on Redheart’s chest and sighed.
The nurse couldn’t fathom how this day had turned this direction. A cute pegasus leaned against her and didn’t need medical treatment . She lowered her head down towards those sparkling purple orbs and could feel her mouth searching for their match.
Before they hit their mark she noticed the carriage had stopped. Her eyes flicked sideways and she saw Big Heart wide-eyed and open-mouthed. He unabashedly stared. Kerfuffle’s lips missed the observation and collided with her cheek instead. Startled, the pegasus followed her mare’s gaze and her red glow returned.
“Oh huh, I guess we should wait fer da real date,” Kerfuffle concluded.
“Big Heart,” chastised Redheart in her nurse voice. “Don’t you have a carriage to pull. You can drop us at the park. Somepony wants to see the ducks.”
The carriage quickly accelerated as Big Heart continued on. There was a strange hop in his step as he continued the trek. The non official couple resumed a gentle snuggle instead.
The carriage began to vibrate in a strange way. Redheart hadn’t been on a carriage ride like this in years but she was certain that it wasn’t supposed to vibrate like that. If Kerfuffle felt the vibration she didn’t show it. The pegasus was still leaning on her chest and gently enveloped her in a wing. It was so soft. Redheart’s curiosity was lost in the downy covering.
The park was filled with couples as Redheart knew it would be. They glanced at them casually but quickly returned to their own eye gazing. The nurse started to shudder until she realized this was an activity she was about to do.
“This one by the lake seems nice,” Kerfuffle’s voice brought her back to the task at hoof. Her date pointed to a bench right by the water’s edge and she pushed the wheelchair to it.
“You know, you could probably get over here with your wings,” the nurse informed her with a smirk.
“I know. But I like yer way better. It’s nice and warm.”
The nurse snorted and lifted the pegasus over to the bench with her hooves. The two leaned in to find another nice and warm thing couples do when that buzzing caught Redheart’s ears again. She looked for the source when Kerfuffle’s lips connected with her ear.
“Oh, I thought you were there,” the startled pegasus said. “Yer a tough one ta kiss.”
“Sorry, I heard that buzzing sound again,” Redheart said, a little concerned.
“Oh that, it’s nothing. Now let me kiss ya properly this time.”
“Wait you heard it too?”
Kerfuffle’s eyes became less dreamy and more sad. She reached over to her wheelchair and lifted up a small golden rod with strange wires sticking out of it.
“That Doc gave it to me,” Kerfuffle answered the unspoken question. “He said it would buzz when my leg was done.”
“But that means it was done before we left Sugarcube Corner. Why wouldn’t you want your..” Redheart put it together before she heard Kerfuffle’s explanation.
“Because I wouldn’t be yer patient any more and ya would have ta go back ta work. I didn’t want ta miss the day. It felt great ta find a special pony to finally share it with. But I lied. And I’m sor..”
Kerfuffle’s apology was cut short by a pair of white lips. It was something Redheart hadn’t experienced in a long time. The excitement coursed through her veins and pushed her forelegs into motion. She wrapped them around her mare and felt those soft wings enclose her body.
The ducks landed with a splash in the pond. The frogs chirped and croaked lazily at each other. A long thin beak of a crane hunted for the right meal. All of nature was alive and moving. Redheart and Kerfuffle didn’t notice. Time had stopped for them. They stayed still, lip-locked, as the soft breeze played with their manes. Time sped up and tapped them on the flank in the form of that wired device.
“Oh,” gasped Kerfuffle, as she nearly lept into Redheart’s hooves. She couldn’t because she had only one leg and was already in them. “I guess we should head back, eh?”
“Yeah I guess so,” Redheart didn’t know how she was supposed to focus on work after that. She slowly walked her patient back to the hospital. Doctor Whooves waited impatiently.
“Ahh ha!” He shouted as if they were a new element he discovered. “So here you are. I have completed the repairs on your prosthesis and modified it slightly so that the rotor cables are no longer exposed. This should make sure the limb’s gyroscopes function properly.”
Kerfuffle stared in confusion. “Your leg shouldn’t collapse any more my dear,” Doctor Whooves clarified. “Now! That’s settled. I have to find my own ‘dear’ and take her out for Heart’s and Hooves Day while there is still time.”
He quickly connected the prosthetic to the attachment nub and made sure Kerfuffle could control it again. The pegasus nimbly got out of the chair and walked around in a circle. She took off into the air with a quick flap then landed easily on all four hooves.
“Looks good,” said the Doc, nodding to himself. “I hate to be curt but it took a lot longer than expected to find you. Good luck and happy travels.”
“Thanks a bunch. Ya helped out more than ya know,” Kerfuffle said with a glowing smile. She turned that glow back to her nurse. “Well, uh, I guess I’m no longer yer patient now, eh?”
Nurse Redheart felt a small twinge in her heart. “No you aren’t,” she admitted. “But umm I hope to see you soon, just not as a patient.”
“Oh you’ll be seein’ me again, sweetie,'' Kerfuffle laughed. “Next time I’ll see ya we’ll go on a real date.”
That comment hushed the entire ER. Redheart swore she felt light-headed from the sudden decrease in air. It annoyed her.
“Yes, I would like that,” Redheart said, ignoring the second gasp.
“Well, uh, I guess I better let ya get back ta work,” Kerfuffle said and slowly turned to leave. She paused. A quick flap brought her back to Redheart’s side again and her lips found their target. The nurse couldn’t help but be caught in the moment and kissed back.
This time the gasp was so loud that the ER shook. Redheart thought she heard somepony keel over. She decided to focus on her partner instead. There were other nurses and it didn’t sound like anything broke.
“Bye,” Kerfuffle said, finally breathlessly backing away. She left abruptly like a bolt of lighting descending to earth leaving Redheart to watch longingly after.
She turned to find her sister staring at her. “You were gone a long time,” Snowheart said. “Your experiment went well.”
“Umm well it was less of an experiment,” Redheart admitted rubbing the back of her head with her hoof.
“Nonsense,” Snowheart said with a quick cutting voice. “The patient has improved in health and mental wellness. You should consider adding it to your treatment modalities.”
“I’ll… no! Sorry, Snow, she was a special case.”
The day finally came to a close. Doctor Horse was the pony who fell over during the kiss but he was back on his hooves after his ordeal. Redheart watched as the day shift pairs began to wave goodbye and punch out. Redheart sighed. She looked at the paperwork she hadn’t finished from the day. Then looked at the cool night that waited patiently for her. She shook her head and decidedly placed the charts in a drawer for tomorrow. She punched out and opened the ER doors.
The wind unfurled her mane bun and let the light pink strands wave in it. She breathed the wholesome night air. Then looked at the soft shining lights of Ponyville. Hope Hollow seemed on the other side of the world to her right now. She wondered if she could risk a trip out there soon.
“There ya are,” cried a voice she longed to hear. Redheart turned and saw her pegasus sitting on a bench by the wrong exit. “I‘ve been waiting for ya. Ya ready ta go on a true date?”
Redheart nodded and blushed. She noticed that Kerfuffle was wearing her old vest. The pegasus caught her sightline.
“Oh yeah,” the beautiful mare said standing up straighter. “Rarity fixed my vest. It’s knit so she had ta use a patch. But would ya look at what she picked.”
Kerfuffle proudly displayed, under her wing, a patch of a red heart.
Author's Note
I hope you enjoyed this. I’m thinking of making PRN Hospital into a little series.
