Blind Dates Ain't Nothin' but Dazzles and Tricks
The noise of the restaurant filtered through Sunset’s ears, providing a desperately needed distraction. Forks clinked against plates, quiet conversations buzzed in the background, while the rolling wheels of serving carts squeaked every once in a while against the carpeted floor. The footsteps of the various servers and occasional blast of shouting and pots and pans clanging from the kitchen whenever someone stepped through the doors completed the scene.
In other words, it was a typical busy Saturday night at Gustav Le Grande’s Grande Eatery. And Sunset wished she was anywhere else. Anywhere else at all. Maybe driving off a cliff. Or at the bottom of Canterlot lake. Or maybe falling through the sky from an airplane. Somewhere, anywhere that wasn’t on a blind date with Adagio Dazzle and Trixie Lulamoon… at the same time.
If I get out of this alive I’m going to kill you, Pinkie Pie.
“...Sooooo… it’s good to see you,” Sunset said, giving the two a polite smile. “Ah, it’s been a while.”
“Trixie assumes you’re talking to her, naturally,” said Trixie with her usual quantities of smarm and ego gushing forth like a fountain. She carried in her hands a bundle of mixed yellow and red roses, and wore a glittering dark blue tuxedo complete with bow tie, top hat sparkling with rhinestones, and a cane. She flashed Sunset a dazzling smile, her teeth sparkling white. “After all, I’m not a siren who tried to conquer our high school a few years ago.”
Adagio Dazzle’s lips pulled back, revealing fangs sharper than daggers. She was resplendent in her own dazzling black strapless dress with an exposed cleavage window and a slit down one leg. Her tangerine and lemon hair, usually allowed to hang loose like a gigantic puffball, had been tied up into a knot with a leather hair tie bristling with spikes. She wore a glittering silver necklace with a single small ruby hanging down around her throat. “Of course she wasn’t. She was speaking to me, the adult in the room. Not a magic trick-obsessed child.”
“Trixie is not a child!”
Sunset’s smile grew more strained as her grip on her wine glass tightened. She took a sip, using the rich bouquet as a brief distraction. I spent three hours doing my makeup and clothes for this. I’m so going to kill her. “I was speaking to both of you. Trixie, I think I saw you, what, a year ago? You were doing a magic show at Canterlot University.”
“That’s right,” Trixie replied with a smug-laced nod, like she’d just taken a bow on stage. “I, the Great and Powerful Trixie, performed a dazzling display of devilish deception to delight the masses. As always.”
Sunset took another quaff of wine, more this time. Painfully. With a rusty spoon. “I remember. What’ve you been up to lately?”
“Well,” Trixie said as she set a hand upon her chest. “Trixie has been exploring social media as a way of demonstrating her performances. Between shows at the Canterlot Theater, of course! Truly, I’m living my dream.” She looked up at Sunset and flashed her a saucy wink. “And of course, I could always use a gorgeous assistant.”
Riiiiight. “An assistant, huh?”
“But of course!” Trixie pronounced, holding out a hand in a grand gesture. “Everyone knows the best magicians only become the best with help. Trixie wouldn’t dream of leaving you out of such a glamorous lifestyle, should you decide to be with her.”
A headache blossomed to life in Sunset’s forehead. “Okay, if you say so...so, um, Adagio, when was the last time we saw each other?”
Casting her shining amethyst eyes upon Sunset, Adagio’s snarl transformed into a sultry smile. She reached out to her own wine glass and ran a finger along the rim. “I believe it was two years ago. You attended one of my concerts.”
Sunset’s face heated up like she’d set it over a hot stove. “Y-yeah, I, uh, I did. It was great. I loved the music you wrote. And I’ve been listening to what you’ve put out since. It’s gotten a lot better.”
“Mmm, well, we’ve certainly tried,” Adagio said, her eyes lowering to half-mast as she continued to gaze at Sunset. “Have to do something with our lives without our magic, right?”
Oh dear. “You’re not still… mad about that, are you?”
The siren shrugged her shoulders. “No. Not anymore. Not like I used to be. I’ve spent centuries sulking about it before the Battle of the Bands. Took a while, but in a way, I actually have to thank you. I didn’t realize it could be… liberating.”
“O-oh. Really.” Sunset smeared sweat against her wine glass as she reached for a napkin to wipe off her palms. “That’s… I didn’t expect that.”
Trixie barked a single laugh. “Oh please. You’re just trying to butter Sunset up so you can steal her magic, right? That’s why you agreed to this date?”
A growl rippled from Adagio’s throat. “I agreed to this date because the pink one talked me into it. I still don’t know how.”
“That’s Pinkie Pie for you,” Sunset replied with a sigh. “I… didn’t know she was setting me up with both of you. I thought I was just going to meet one person.”
Sitting back in her chair, Adagio took up her wine glass and took a long drink. “Well, I won’t lie, Sunset. I’m interested. It sounds fun. So long as she’s not involved.”
Trixie snorted. “Why should Sunset get involved with you when she obviously has someone far superior right here?”
“You’re right, of course,” Adagio said with a flippant nod. “You’re certainly superior at looking like a complete fool on stage. ”
Trixie’s face turned beet red as she held up a fist to shake. “Oooh...”
Oh for goodness’s sake. “Listen, you two,” Sunset said as she sat forward, feeling less inhibited thanks to the wine. “I don’t want to lead you on. Maybe we should just end it here and go home. I’ll, I’ll cover the bill.”
“Oh no no no, that won’t do,” Trixie said with a quick shake of her head. “Trixie came here hoping to win your heart, Sunset, and she’s going to win your heart by the end of this evening. I won’t be bested by a former villain who’s not even human.”
Giving the magician a flat look, Sunset replied, “I’m a former villain who’s not even human. Did you forget that?”
Trixie’s cheeks bloomed anew as she reached up to pull her top hat down over her forehead. “N-n-no, of course not. I just meant… nevermind…”
Rich laughter erupted from Adagio as she mockingly shook her head. “I told you, Trixie,” she said with a malicious smirk. “You’re a child. Why don’t you run home and play with your dolls?”
“How many times must Trixie say she is not a child?!" Trixie blurted, her hat bouncing off her head to land on the floor.
Conversations around the restaurant fell silent as every patron, and a few of the servers, looked their way. Sunset’s mouth spread into an insincere grin as she waved at them. “Sorry, sorry, we’re not trying to be loud.” The crowd returned to their own conversations, though Sunset could hear more than a few quiet whispers of disapproval.
Trixie scooped her hat off the floor and placed it firmly back atop her head. “I apologize for my outburst,” she mumbled, her mouth turning down.
Okay, now I feel bad for her. “Why’re you so interested, anyway?” Sunset asked. “I thought you and Wallflower--”
“Wallflower dumped me,” Trixie interrupted. A dark scowl twisted her features as she plopped both elbows on the table and laid her chin against her hands. “She said we weren’t working out, that she’d rather remain friends.”
“Oh.” Sunset found herself reaching out to set a comforting hand on Trixie’s forearm. “I’m sorry to hear that.”
“She was right, too,” Trixie continued with a sigh. “Wallflower is a pretty great friend, but… we really didn’t mesh that well as lovers.”
“Really,” Adagio said dryly. She snickered, her eyes twinkling with mirth. “So Sunset’s just a rebound for you, hmm?”
“Rebound?!” Trixie snarled. She stood up from her chair and jabbed a finger at Adagio. “Trixie would never treat Sunset as a rebound. Trixie has been interested in Sunset for a long time! She’s just taking advantage of an opportunity now that it’s open!”
“Wait, you have?” Sunset said, arching her eyebrows. “Really?”
“Yes!” replied Trixie as she threw her arms up in the air. “I enjoyed spending time with you, after the whole Memory Stone thing. We hung out all the way through the end of high school!”
“I mean, we did, but--”
“So! Trixie got to know you,” Trixie continued, now gesturing to me with both hands. “And I liked what I saw, okay? You were cool and beautiful and awesome and I liked you a lot.” She crossed her arms over her chest and blew away some stray hair from her face. “But every time I thought about asking you on a date, I chickened out. And then high school was over and we didn’t hang out as much anymore. Sure, we talk on Snapgap or Mystable or Flitter but it’s not the same thing.”
“And now that you don’t have Wallflower, you’re lonely,” Sunset concluded with an understanding nod.
Trixie flopped back into her chair. “Yeah. Yeah, I am.”
Adagio harrumphed and took a pointed sip of her wine before reaching for the bottle to pour another glass. “So in other words, you’ve come begging for scraps like a dog.”
Woah, okay, that’s not cool. “Adagio, what the hell? I get that you don’t like Trixie, but cool it.”
The siren’s eyes fell upon Sunset, this time with a cold, calculating look that filled Sunset with a substantial amount of unease. And the desire to run. Fast. Then it vanished, replaced so quickly with desire for Sunset that the poor pony turned human suffered whiplash. “Of course,” she said, her tone dripping with false sincerity. “My apologies.”
Sunset fought off the blush that came to her face and took another sip of wine to fortify herself. “S-so, Adagio, you said you’re interested. I know we get along better than we used to, but we were still enemies once. What makes you interested in me?”
“Truthfully?” Adagio replied, her voice dropping to a low, husky tone that sent tingles sizzling throughout Sunset’s body. “You’re not like the humans I have to deal with. You’re different. I’d like to see where that could go. We could have a lot of fun, you and I.”
“R-right,” Sunset said with a nervous laugh. Her whole body heated up like fire. I… I need a moment. She scanned the restaurant and spotted the restrooms, then shot out of her chair. “W-would you two excuse me a moment? I just need… the… excuse me.”
She sped for the bathroom like her life depended upon it and didn’t stop until she’d shut herself inside a stall. “Oh my god what have I gotten myself into?” she moaned as she slammed her face against the stall door. “Maybe I should just run. Just take my stuff and go, ditch them. I’m sure there’s no way that could backfire. It isn’t like Trixie follows me on every bit of social media and would be very, very upset if I ditched her like that. And it’s not like Adagio isn’t vindictive and would totally try to get some sort of revenge if I did that to her.”
“This is all Pinkie Pie’s fault. Why did I let her talk me into a blind date? What was I thinking?!”
Sighing to herself, she took a moment to take care of her business, since she was in the bathroom anyway. “No, I can’t ditch them. And I already tried the polite way. I guess I’ll have to be blunt. I’m not interested.”
She finished and left the stall to wash her hands, allowing the warm water to bring her a much needed distraction. “But… I am interested. In both of them. Trixie’s funny. She’s egotistical, sure, but she’s hilarious. Adagio, meanwhile… holy crap she is hot as hell. I don’t know if we’d go anywhere romantically, but… she’s not wrong about the fun.”
Sunset looked up into the mirror and considered what she saw there. “So, what’re you going to do, Sunset?”
“You want to make a decision so we don’t have to hear you talk to yourself, lady?!” shouted an elderly voice from one of the stalls.
“Sorry!” Sunset blurted as she zoomed out the door. “Ugh, way to go Sunset, always talking to yourself…”
And then she stopped, her jaw falling open so far she thought she felt it bump against the floor. She had expected that perhaps Adagio and Trixie would’ve been arguing. Maybe even fighting. But not… this.
Adagio, her face burning, gripped Trixie by the front of her tuxedo shirt and pulled her into to lock lips with the magician. Trixie’s eyes bugged out as she flailed before relaxing into the kiss, enthusiastically wrapping her arms around the siren and moaning into it. Then they released, with an audible pop even to Sunset across the room, and both fell back into the chairs, breathing heavily.
Sunset tentatively stepped over to resume her own seat, so flabbergasted she couldn’t speak. She reached for her wine glass, drank it all in one gulp, then poured a second glass of wine and gulped that down too before slamming the glass down on the table. “What the hell was that?”
Trixie, whose face now resembled a cooked lobster, muttered, “Trixie dared her to do it.”
“Why?”
While Trixie hid her face in her hands, Adagio flashed Sunset a satisfied smile. “While you were in the bathroom, little miss magic over here started ranting about how you and I wouldn’t be compatible, and then said I wouldn’t be a good kisser. So I thought I’d prove her wrong.”
Sunset didn’t know whether to laugh or cry at that. She eyed Trixie, who was peeking out between the cracks in her hands. “...is she good?”
Trixie nodded, her face burning so hot the heat emanated from her in waves. “Mmhmm.”
“Told you,” Adagio purred.
“Excuse me, madams,” said a new voice, one Sunset recognized as their waiter. He’d approached the table and glared at them disapprovingly. “But I’m afraid the management is insisting that you leave the restaurant. You are being disruptive to the other patrons.”
Sunset blinked, then glanced around the room, noticing just how many people were staring their way. “...I don’t suppose this means we don’t have to pay for the wine?”
In response, the waiter slapped a large bill down on the table and held out a hand. “Card, please.”
Groaning, Sunset handed over her card. The waiter left and returned shortly with her receipt. She tried not to grumble over the amount as she crumpled up the sheet of paper and stuffed it into her purse. “Come on, let’s go.”
She trudged out the door with Adagio and Trixie in tow and headed for her car in the parking lot. “Do either of you need a ride home?”
“Actually, if it’s all the same to you, Sunset, I would love to finish up this date at your home,” Adagio said with a flirtatious wink.
“T-Trixie would also like that,” Trixie seconded, despite the blush still present on her face. “She didn’t get enough of a chance to win Sunset over.”
“Oh no,” Sunset said, shaking her head. “No way. We are not going to my place together. Not happening.”
The next day, Sunset awoke to find herself curled up in bed between a naked Trixie and an equally naked Adagio, both slumbering away peacefully like little angels. “Okay, so that really did happen,” she mumbled as she sat up and looked at her alarm clock. “Least it’s Saturday.”
As she laid her head back against her pillow, she felt Adagio’s arms wrap around her middle. “Well, hello there,” Adagio said in a sensual whisper as she leaned into her left shoulder.
Before she could say a word, Trixie’s silver hair spilled over her right shoulder as the magician leaned against her. “Morning, Sunset.”
Sighing to herself, Sunset wrapped one arm around Adagio and the other around Trixie and gave them both a hug. “Hey. You two plan to stay for breakfast?”
“But of course!” Trixie trilled. “You haven’t had breakfast till you’ve tried Trixie’s omelette du fromage.”
“I don’t suppose you have any fish in your fridge?” Adagio added.
Trixie sat up and glared at the siren. “She doesn’t need to have fish for breakfast. Trixie’s omelette will be all the sustenance she requires.”
Adagio arched an eyebrow, her voice coated with ice as she replied, “I don’t think she needs to eat anything you’d cook for her.”
Feeling a pounding headache come on, Sunset flipped over and buried herself in the blankets so she didn’t have to listen to her two new lovers argue.
Blind Dates Ain't Nothin' but Dazzles and Tricks
Rainbow Dash laughed quietly to herself as she scanned her text messages while on her morning walk. She had a good twelve or fifteen from Pinkie Pie she’d received this morning, all about how her idea for Sunset’s date went. “Looks like it went as well as I thought it would!” she said.
Of course she was responsible for Pinkie Pie setting up Sunset with both Adagio and Trixie. Pinkie Pie had been doing her usual blabbing to herself over some silly plan or other, apparently some desire to set up Sunset with someone because “Sunny’s too grumpy and lonely!” So when she heard who Pinkie was considering, of course Rainbow Dash was going to intervene. Adagio and Trixie? It would be a disaster! A hilarious disaster.
But as she scanned the texts, her laughter died away, replaced by confusion. “Wait, what?” she muttered as she read on. Pinkie was congratulating her for the idea. “What?”
“There she is!”
Rainbow Dash’s eyes widened in horror as she whirled on her heel to see Trixie pointing her out to Sunset, who were standing together just up the street. “Uuuh… heeeey, guys!” she said as she took a few steps back, only to back up into someone. She turned her head and blanched when she realized who it was.
Adagio set a strong hand on her shoulder and held the athlete firmly in place. “Hello, Rainbow Dash,” she said with a sharp-toothed grin.
“Hi?” Rainbow squeaked, swallowing noticeably. “W-what’s up?”
Sunset marched up to her, stopped about two feet away, and punched her left palm with her right fist. “We’ve got something to say to you.”
Oh god. Oh god I’m gonna die. I’m gonna die they’re gonna kill me oh god oh god. Rainbow Dash’s eyes scanned the area as if desperately searching for some escape.
But before she could move an inch, Adagio secured her other hand on Rainbow’s other shoulder, pinning her in place. "Going somewhere?"
Rainbow shuddered, fear running through her whole body before she abruptly screamed, “I didn’t mean it I’m sorry I shouldn’t have done it please don’t kill me!”
“Oh don’t worry,” Sunset said with a sadistic smile. “We’re not going to kill you, Rainbow.”
“You’re… you’re not?” Rainbow said, her whole body trembling.
“No, no, no,” Trixie said with a shake of her head. She held up her phone. “We have a different idea in mind.” Scanning through her contacts, she picked out one and dialed. “Hello, Zephyr Breeze?”
Rainbow’s pupils shrank to pinpricks. “No. No, you wouldn’t. You wouldn’t!”
“Yes, that’s right,” Trixie said, nodding as she spoke into her phone. “So, tonight at seven, then? She’ll be ready, don’t worry.” Then she hung up. “Looks like you’re on, Rainbow!”
“Oh screw that!” Rainbow reached up a hand to her geode and summoned up its power so she could speed away, only to fall face first on the ground. “What…”
Adagio yanked on the leash she’d attached around Rainbow’s neck and hauled the athlete up to her feet. “Sorry, but you’re not running away from this one.”
Rainbow let out a wordless scream.
Author's Note
So this was just a silly idea brought on by the fact that I didn't get to have a polyamorous SunTrixDazzle in Danganronpa: In Harmony's Wake. That, and writing these three characters is a lot of fun.
If this second bit feels like it comes out of nowhere: Sunset confronted Pinkie about why she was set up with both Trixie and Adagio, and was told by Pinkie that Rainbow suggested it. So it's... halfway connected. *le shrug*
Thank you to Rainstorm Riddles for proof-reading assistance, as well as this piece of art that accompanies the story:
