As the big D went in, it suddenly shrunk to the size of a pin prick before inflated like a giant inflatable horse dildo and the song “No cock like horse cock” began to play somewhere. (Seriously, that’s a real song. It's as catchy as it is awful...)
Discord grinned at Celestia who was staring at him with wide eyes. “Too much?”
“You could turn off the music, dear.”
“As you wish.” Discord clicked and the furry comedy song switched itself off.
Silence fell.
The weaner slipped out of the lady garden, Celestia moaned softly. The horse dong returned to it’s usual Discordish form.
“Did I really just go and kill the mood?”
Celestia half nodded then perked up in alarm, “ssh!”
Discord flinched at the unusual rebuke.
A white ear twitched. No. it was not silent. In fact, Celestia was sure she could hear the faint sound of her prized pupal and sister having a rather loud pillow fight. Or at least, that’s what she hoped it was…
…That …cry. That exclamation… sounded like Luna was having a rough time.
…or a very fun time.
Magic swirled around the horny alicorn’s long horn.
With a poof, they suddenly found themselves on a beach far away. No creature was in sight. Just trees along the shore and the gentle lapping of the waves against the sand before them.
“I’m sorry Discord,” Celestia walked over to the soft grass nearer the trees and lay down like a princess in waiting. “Would you like to try again?”
“Take two hundred and thirty two?” Discord offered cheekily as he wandered over to his lover’s side.
“Have you been keeping a record of every time we have shared intimacy?”
Discord glanced bashfully away. “No… I would never do that.”
“Discord?
“Okay, maybe?”
Scenes many past endeavors scrolled quickly past Celestia and Discord. They were naturally accompanied by all the jucy sounds the lovebirds had made. Two white wings shot up like rockets and lightly smacked the draconequus in the face. He span in the air like a barrel, bounced off several trees on his pogo stick then landed with a poof on his hind legs in front of his lovely wife.
“I was thinking we could start off with something traditional and normal.” Discord spoke up as his own wings quivered in full, proud wing boner.
Celestia stretched out just a little bit more and gave her tail a suggestive swish. “What if I desired something more akin to my lord of chaos’s specialties?”
“Well…” Discord grinned like a cheshire cat as he slipped forward and wrapped himself around his wife. “My house?” The pair appeared with a poof in the Lord of Choas’s dwelling. “Or yours?”
They appeared on the large bed of the mighty sun horse herself.
“Both?” Celestia offered quietly. “I don’t see any reason not to enjoy the perks of each abode.”
Luan's royal Canterlot voice rang out jolting the couple out of their little moment.
Discord grinned as he returned his gaze to his wonderful sunny mare. “I’m sure you and I can drown them out.”
Celestia laughed, “you’re most welcome to try. Although please don’t cause the guard to knock my door down again.”
“My dear Celestia…” Discord grinned. “In that case, let us restart… On a cloud!”
The couple reclined together on the fluffy white construct overlooking the north Luna ocean. It was a blissful late afternoon and the sea glittered below.
Celestia was quick to snuggle up to the serpentine form of her husband. The lord of chaos coiled slowly around his precious princess. His tail interlocked with her own and their muzzles came to rest, side by side. The couple gazed out over the glittering expanse of the mighty sea.
Discord snuck a quick kiss in. “Ever thought of establishing a batch here, someplace small where we can escape for a weekend?”
Celestia giggled as she returned her husband’s affection. “Maybe. Although I was thinking further south.”
“Really?”
The mighty alicorn hummed softly as she nuzzled under the mighty chaos master’s beard.
As the long white horn brushed against the side of Discord’s face closer and closer to his nose he poked his tongue out. Hard white came into contact with the chaos infused tongue and began to sparkle. With a smirk, Discord gave a long lick, breaking the nuzzle to run all the way to the tip.
White wings shot out.
Rather pleased with himself, Discord flipped his mare over onto her back.
“Now oh wife of mine… somepony said something about chaos.”
“I suppose I did, yes.”
“Well now… let's see what we have here.” Discord snapped his fingers.
Chocolate milk clouds appeared around the couple, floating low in the sky, ready to be milked.
With great care, the mismatched hands of the chaos master ran right down the pure white barrel to touch each cutie mark. Keen eyes sank lower and lower till Discord found his prize. As he enjoyed the view he continued to caress the twin suns. His lower section coiled around the upper half of his lover.
Celestia suddenly found herself face to face with her overly flexible partner’s diddle. “ Is that chocolate caramel?”
The noodle waggled around as Discord gazed up from between his splayed mare’s legs. “Loaded with the finest, yes.”
Celestia gave a tentative lick. “Nice.” With a coy smile, she leaned forward and placed her lips on the hard rod. Her tongue slipped out and Celestia slowly slid it along the shaft till she came to rest upon the dangerous tip.
Discord moaned with pleasure as his wing wang continued to slowly grow, powered by the playful loving it was receiving. As her lips engulfed the grand dong Discord’s tongue shot out propelled by the sheer burst of pleasure that wracked his system. His tongue penetrated the wet waiting walls of his mare. He planted his nose on the opening of the mossy cleft, inhaling the sweet scent. The serpentine tongue ran along the inner walls of the mighty cake mare, enjoying the way she reacted to his ministrations.
However, his loving work was suddenly interrupted by Celestia. Discord’s head shot up into the sky leaving the rest of him behind. With a quiver and a mischievous grin, Celestia paused, her mouth in place. Discord’s head reattached and his body quickly uncoiled around his lover.
Discord found himself hovering in the air, his wife attached to his floating body by his ding dong. With a fap of her wings and a pop, Celestia released her oral hold and smiled at her husband.
Discord snapped his fingers.
Now they were in his house. As they floated upside down and bumped around, Discord coiled around his thicc cake lovin’ alicorn.
As Celestia sank her lips over the draconic boomstick, the taste of chocolate cake filled her mouth. Mighty white wings shot out as he too eagerly resumed his loving tongue lashing. With each daring lick, her cutie mark glowed more and more. The long white horn began to give of little splashes of magic. The solar energies collided with the chaos magic in Discord’s house. Some merged to form random swirls that raced around the lovers while other collisions led to explosions as order met chaos.
With a particularly grand magical boom, the house of chaos exploded then quickly reformed itself as the couple within continued their jaunt.
Twilight and Luna lay all snuggled up, giggling as they snuck kisses onto one another. The kissing match settled and the couple lay at peace, content to enjoy the aftermath of their loving session.
“I think we chased Celestia away,” Luna commented.
Twilight giggled louder, “it’s not my fault that you are so loud.”
“Nay, blame that on the royal Canterlot voice and thy most wonderful love.”
Twilight playfully jabbed the night blue mare’s lower barrel. “Oh really?”
“Careful love, any lower and you will start round two.”
A smile slipped onto Twilight’s muzzle as she straddled the larger alicorn. “I’m pretty sure the whole castle already knows what happened.”
“As a bonus, my sister vacated the premises. This way, we were undisturbed for further cuddles.”
Twilight snuggled on top of her lover. “Maybe try keep it down if you come to Ponyveille. I really don’t need the whole town hearing us.”
“And kill all the fun?” Luna smiled coyly back. A dark blue hind leg rose between Twilight’s own till it came into gentle contact with the still highly sensitive spot. Twilight stiffened.
Discord and Celestia appeared with a poof in the Canter lot Castle in the sunny bedroom of the mare herself. Celestia settled on the bed on her back, her wings splayed out to either side. The Master of chaos licked his lips as he withdrew from between his lovers' hind legs. He paused to lick her teats, enjoying the way Celesta squirmed on her bed under his touch. A lion’s paw played between the bouncing nips before snaking up and down her barrel.
A second copy of himself, fully connected in mind and feeling to his main body hovered in front of the mighty mare of the sun. His willy changed between draconic, pony, griffon, hippogriff and kirin each time her mouth left direct contact for brief moments. With each building moment this second Discord reared toward the ceiling. Fireworks, candy, and balls of chaos were released splashing the room.
A third, Discord, three inches tall rode the sun pony’s large horn. With each peak and loving pulse, he stroked the hard horn, enjoying the way the air around it vibrated with magic.
With a final loving lick to her hard teats, the main Discord teleported them back to his home. They hovered in the middle of his dwelling and there, upside down, Discord mounted his lovely Celestia. The mighty mare paused her sucking to cry out in pleasure. Her eyes met with those of her lovers’. Connected as one they shared a loving smile.
With a mighty thrust of the draconequus's dong, the couple doubled in size and appeared in the throne room of Canterlot. Celestia found herself on a candy and rainbow cloud. The Discord on the front was brought to a climax and fired Celestia, horn mini-Discord and rear Discord out the front door.
The guard ponies in the palace room stood there in shock. A few parts of marble fell from the center of the door frame. The long horn hole cut into the wall stood out as blatantly as the fresh white stuff on the door.
“Was that-“
“Yeah...”
The guards at the door eyed the sticky stuff that remained after Discord vanished. One sniffed and recoiled. “Mint chocolate?”
“It looks sticky too…” The guard on the other side of the arch commented with a grimace. "I don't wanna know. You clean it."
Twilight and Luna sat bolt upright as a crash sounded from down the hallway.
A pleased moan that was clearly from Celestia rang out followed by the sound of little hooves on the polished ties and two Discord voices adding to the pleased cries.
The alicorn couple did their best to suppress the words, utterances and other suggestive sounds that rang out. They both breathed a sigh of relief once silence resumed.
“Discord is a bad influence on her, you know,” Twilight commented dryly.
Luna shook her head, “nay. She has always been adventurous. Although at least in times gone by they kept it to the forest or the dungeons in our parent’s castle.”
Twilight gazed back at Luna in shock. “They what?”
Luna shook her head and brought her mare in closer for cuddles. “Never mind them, let us resume royal cuddles.”
Discord rode Celestia on the large cloud to their final peak, high in the sky. His brain was in shock thanks to the early climax from his other body. Under the clouds of pleasure, all he could feel was his mare and the intense love they shared.
Celestia was in a similar state. She lay on the cloud, unable to stand on her own four quivering legs as their love pulsed with each thumping bang bang.
...And then he exploded.
Celestia quickly followed with her own mighty climax.
Blueblood gazed upward as an apocalyptic explosion radiated outward from a cloud high up in the skies near the peak of Canterlot mountain. “What the…?”
Fancy Pants eyed the white, fiery explosion. A rainbow boom followed. The posh pony blinked a few times in surprise then cast a side eye to his companion. “Blueblood old chap, I did not know the Wonderbolt’s were practicing near Canterlot today.”
“They aren’t,” Blueblood replied.
A second wave of color pulsed outward from the tiny speck of a cloud.
Blueblood eyed the spectacle with a keen eye. “Why do I get the feeling that the white bits of that fallout are still falling?”
“Maybe because they are.” Fancy Pants shrugged.
“How unusual. It almost looks like the upper mountain is getting a covering of fresh snow.”
Cadance froze then rushed to the balcony of the crystal palace. Shining Armor cried out and hurried to follow.
“What’s wrong?”
The pink mare eyed the horizon, her gaze fixed upon a place unseen. “Nothing. I just felt a most intense burst of love right near Canterlot.”
“Somepony discovered their true love?”
Cadance shook her head. “No. It felt more intimate than that.” The princess of love felt her senses drawn outward once more as the mighty burst of love vanished. She frowned, this was most odd. “Nevermind it’s gone now.”
“Okay…”
A highly charged draconequus with three heads and two dongs chased a very horny, spent mare around his chaos filled home. Each of the two lethal willies fired on full chaos induced automatic fire. Celestia’s backside, back and head were well coated. She span around and caught a barrage in her mouth, licking her lips as the mixture of white and dark choate filled her mouth with just a hint of salty caramel.
As the couple crashed into a wall they reappeared on the top of Canterlot Mountain. There they settled, loving grins upon their faces as they snuggled up.
Celestia settled down on her side on some soft grass and gave her hindquarters a squeeze. Love juices seeped out. Discord grinned as he watched, his dual wang shrank and returned to its normal form. His extra heads vanished, leaving the remaining one gazing between his mare’s hind legs.
“You were quite full today. You don’t usually have enough for the grand finale and a chase.”
Discord giggled as he leaned in and kissed his sunny mare on her cheek. “Somepony asked for chaos.”
“And you delivered most delightfully,” Celestia replied.
Suddenly feeling very spent, Discord collapsed.
Celestia brought her lover close, guiding his loose noodle body to rest against her tummy. His head snaked up just enough to rest on top of hers.
They lay there cuddled up, enjoying the fading glow of their love. With a final bright warm glow, the twin suns on Celestia’s flank ceased to emit light and she closed her eyes.
Her horn lit and they appeared on her bed. They were quick to snuggle up under the sheets and there they lay, content.
Author's Note
So I wrote this as a joke.
And yeah...
