Table Manners

by Exodd

Rating: everyone
Tags: Alternate Universe, Tirek, Original Character, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy
Length: 1262

When Tirek's son discover where their food comes from, he decides to stop eating... But how long will he last?

Short lighthearted story about Tirek and his son, Ghoru, that unfolds when he discovers their food is actually extracted from other creatures. And it will be his father's job to convince him it's not so bad... Or just to listen to his stomach.

Submitted as an entry for Villain's contest at Quills and Sofas with prompt "Coming Clean". This is one of my very first stories written in English, so I'd like to thank all the members of the group for their suggestions and comments.

The cover is a mix of vectors from Masemj, Aleximusprime and BonesWolbach.

Published 2021-03-01 06:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2021-03-01 06:00:00 UTC

The first hunt

The forest was quiet. No birds singing. No leaves falling. You could hear a pony passing from a long distance. Especially the ones out for mushroom hunting. They tended to be lousy.

And you could also scare them. Making them run away.

And if you were dedicated enough, you could actually direct them to your previously set trap.

“Ahah! Caught you!” An impressive black and red centaur showed himself from the bushes he was hiding in. He approached the imprisoned earth pony, who was looking at him in terror.

“No! Please! Don’t drain me! I have a mother in law! Drain her!”

But the centaur was not listening to him. Instead, he was focused behind himself, and spoke to a tree. “Did you see that, Ghoru? That’s how you catch lunch.”

Another centaur timidly peaked out from behind the tree, looking at the scene. “L-lunch?” He hesitantly went ahead, showing a similar figure to Tirek, but shorter and with less fur. His skin color was also a shade of red more inclined to violet. “That’s our lunch?”

He squared the little pony trapped in the net. It had a grey and muddy coat, that was in line with the dirty mushrooms he was carrying in his wicker basket. His complexion showed the effects of the long sun exposure that was typical of a farmer, but it was well hidden in their also typical layer of dirt and sweat.

“Sure thing! Now look closely how it’s done.”

Tirek grinned as she extinguished the distance between him and the pony. Then expertly opened his mouth, draining the pony of all his powers. At the end, the poor pony was left glass-eyed on the grass.

“Hmmm. Delicious earth essence. You have to taste it from the source to really get… Ghoru?” He turned around. The centaur disappeared. “Where have you gone, son?” By listening closely, he could hear the hooves in the distance. He was running away.

“Whaaaat? GHORU! COME BACK!” He shouted. “I have yet to teach you how to catch the ones with wings!”

-o-o-> -o-o-> -o-o-> -o-o-> -o-o-> -o-o-> -o-o-> -o-o-> -o-o-> -o-o-> -o-o-> -o-o->

*Knock*

“Yes?”

“Open up.”

“No.”

“I said open up.”

“...”

Tirek sighed. Why did he have to deal with a rebellious teenager?

Oh, yes. Because he was his father.

“Ghoru, listen, I can’t believe you are shocked by knowing that part of our food came from those little ponies. Are you serious right now?”

“...”

He massaged his head. “And how did you not know? Sure, I never told you, but you are a smart kid. I believed you already knew that by now! Did you really believe that the power we eat grows on trees?”

“...”

“Listen. When you want, I can feed you. Like old times. I could prepare you those power-frosted cupcakes you loved so much when you were little. How does that sound?”

“... With the power you got from those creatures?”

“Well, yes, but…”

“Then, NO. I am not hungry.”

Suddenly, high volume music started reproducing from the room. One of the rebellious-stage teen’s shields.

“Grrrrr. You have not eaten in THREE DAYS. How is it possible that… Oh, no, you didn’t...”

Tirek went quickly downstairs, where the pantry was. He was very proud of his pantry. He spent a lot of effort in collecting and then categorizing all its content. He opened it, and there they were. Rows of legendary artifacts, each classified by power and taste. Usually he liked to open it just to smell the aroma they emitted, but this time… The air was stale.

“GHORUUUUUUUU!” He bellowed, boiling with anger.

“ALL THAT SNACKS ARE NOT HEALTHY. YOU HAVE TO EAT FRESH FOOD!”

<-o-o- <-o-o- <-o-o- <-o-o- <-o-o- <-o-o- <-o-o- <-o-o- <-o-o- <-o-o- <-o-o-

The door slowly creaked open. After a week, he capitulated. The rumbling of his stomach could be heard from the outside.

“Your mind finally made up?”

“No.”

Tirek sighed. Then slipped a key out of the pocket. “Maybe this will make you change your mind.”

Ghoru looked at the key. After a couple of seconds, he realized what that was for. “Is - is that - the key to the Dungeons??”

Tirek smiled. “It’s a tradition to pass down this key, or at least a copy, to each family member, once they start being useful to the house.”

“... and that means …” asked Ghoru, already knowing where it was heading for.

“When they start hunting.”

Ghoru frowned, but Tirek ignored him and just started walking. The son followed the father.

Its curiosity for the place he always had been excluded from, ever since he was little, was too strong to compete with his anger.

They went out of the house, to its back, and then up to a cave sealed by a giant rock. Tirek moved it out with a big show of strength, and then used the key to open the door behind it.

“... Is that really necessary?”

“You mean the Two-Factor Authentication? Always better safe than sorry, I say.”

Ghoru snorted at the strange names his father usually came up with. But soon, he was overwhelmed by the smell that came from inside.

“Ta-Dah!” Said Tirek, leading Ghoru inside to give him the tour of all the cages of the different creatures trapped inside.

“They… They are…”

He looked incredulous at all those poor animals, locked in cages, seldom fed to keep them weak, and possibly they didn’t have a chance to wash themselves in ages.

“Emergency Food. But also Fast Food. When I am too lazy to go hunting.”

A lot of species and varieties of creatures were inside. Manticores, hydras, cockatrices. But also intelligent species, like Griffins, Ponies, and a strange ponyish-like creature with a strange bi-horn.

“Huh, that’s oriental food. But beware, it’s spicy.”

Ghoru looked at them, and his stomach rumbled stronger than ever.

“Do you hear it? Your stomach recognizes the smell of food. It’s time you do too.”

Ghoru licked his lips, and approached the cages, but as he got very close, he turned away his face and angrily shouted “... NO!” He then broke into a gallop and ran out of the cave.

The leg of Tirek failed him for the surprise. He couldn’t believe it.

The boy had had possibly the most wondrous collection of rare and delicious dishes in front of him… And flat out refused them?

He brought his face into his hands. He didn’t know what to do anymore. If that didn’t work… What could?

He was so desperate, he didn’t notice that his son had returned, bringing something with him. He also didn’t notice the sounds right after, but he did notice when he felt some of his precious possessions were losing power.

He looked up. To his son. Finally eating. From all the creatures. Including the ponies.

“Wha… But you said… Oh, Ghoru, you came up to your senses?”

“No.” Said him, passing the arm on his mouth. “I just did what I should have done a week ago.”

Tirek didn’t understand, but then, finally, noticed it.

All the animals were spotless. All the creatures shined. The floor was wet and bubbly.

“You didn’t want to eat because... because…”

“How can YOU eat something so DIRTY, Pa? Ugh. Do you know anything about table manners?” said Ghoru, taking again the bar of soap in his hand, and going to clean in the deepest part of the cave.

“From now on, we will go hunting with three bars of soap and one bottle of Shampoo!”