I hate my life. Spike thought to himself.

The dragon let out a long long sigh as he stared down on the school grounds below him. Though opulent, and surprisingly beautiful, it wasn't anything he hadn't seen before after living in Canterlot for so long. From the wide open circle near the campus entrance dominated by a leafy pink tree, to the large glass windows of the classrooms.

It was all so… boring to the young dragon.

Even from his vantage point on the second floor the young dragon couldn't help but feel drained by his immaculate surroundings. Tall ivory towers rose high into the sky on his right while before him stood a tall and surprisingly fancy metal fence that disconnected the school grounds from the street beyond. It was opulent in the extreme, and to a young dragon who had spent all of his short life in an orphanage, downright silly.

They had so much money yet they spent it on miles of glass, an endless sea of marble and immaculately manicured grounds. Every blade of grass was evenly cut, and every bush had been rounded to the point that they looked like green orbs. Yet they couldn't afford to just give him another set of school clothes after some bullies had destroyed his original ones.

Spike glanced at his reflection bitterly, his eyes immediately going to the weird red tie thing around his neck. The sight was a bitter one, made only even more unpleasant when his gaze inevitably went down to the soft navy blue skirt around his waist. Even the white unassuming blouse he was forced to wear made him angry, and the dragon was half tempted to shred the offending cloth.

Only to remember that this was apparently the only dragon shaped uniform they had left. Worse still, the dress code required that he wear it at all times, lest he face severe disciplinary action. Spike wasn't worried about detention, but he was a little concerned about what house mother Emerald Springs would say.

The dragon shuddered at the mere thought of what the shrill old mare might utter if he pissed her off by dropping out. If he blew his one chance at a college education the dragon doubted he would live to see next week, nevermind his nineteenth birthday. Making sure the unicorn didn't hear about his failing was impossible, adult or not she seemed to know everything about him.

And so with great reluctance the dragon let his hands fall to his sides, resisting the urge to destroy the girly uniform. Without anything to focus on, the young male felt his gaze drawn to his overall appearance, namely his slightly rounded hips. Which continued to exist despite Spike’s status as an adult, and his frequent attempts at working out.

Worse still, his wings had yet to grow in, leaving him as a stubby, slightly feminine dragon that was barely as tall as a Pony. His reflection was a sight which bothered the dragon immensely, though at least he pulled off the girl’s uniform relatively well. After giving his hips a quick sashay, the young male shook his head and gave his face a quick pair of sharp slaps.

“Cut it out Spike you’re a man for crying out loud!” He whispered to himself, only to frown. “A man with child bearing hips, plump full lips and ass that would make most mares envious.”

The dragon deflated, his shoulders slumping. “Ahh who am I kidding. I should probably just get breast implants and change my name to Barb or something stupid.”

After a moment to wallow in self pity, Spike gave his head a shake. “Right. Let's go find that weird club I need to be a part of unless I want to flunk out before the first semester is even over.”

Memories of the dragon getting rejected by a dozen different clubs immediately popped into the male’s head. The soccer club club said he was too slow, the basketball club because he was too short, and the volleyball club because he had a two inch vertical. The flight club and magic club were right out for obvious reasons, while a dozen others had used a whole bevy of excuses in order to not admit him.

Just thinking about it for too long made Spike depressed, and more than a little disheartened at his future prospects. After pulling himself up off the ground, Spike gave his head another shake, trying to dismiss his concerns once and for all. Though his worries lingered, the young dragon had managed to pluck up enough courage to trot further down the hall.

To where a rather unique club sat at the end of the wing, their door marked with a simple pink heart. The small peice of loose leaf had clearly been hanging there for a while given just how curled it had gotten. It was still more than enough to let Spike know he was in the right spot, as no other group used such a symbol.

No, that was reserved for the Love! Club, which reportedly only had a whopping four or so members.

Noone knew exactly what the clubs activities were, but if the rumours were true, then it was far more illicit in nature then most others. Spike had heard them all before of course, like how the members were all girls who had gained a certain extra appendage. Reasons for such an addition ranged from alchemical meddling in their family lineage to magical accident and freak mutations.

There were more outlandish rumours out there about the members of the club, but Spike dismissed them. Why would Celestia place her secret love child in some random, middle class university?

That was just silly in Spike’s opinion.

Officially the school marked the club as an activist group, but Spike hoped the rumours were true. After all, who wouldn't want to join a bunch of futa mares who reportedly spent all evening having wild sex in the east wing?

Not like Spike wanted that or anything, he was merely there to try and convince them to let him join. After all, a club that small was probably constantly under threat of having their room taken away by the student council. It was practically Spike’s civic duty to help boost their numbers in order to help them out while also ensuring he didn't flunk out.

He definitely wasn't intrigued by the possibility of meeting a real futa mare and thus getting the chance to act on a less than secret fantasy of his. He wasn't even interested in males so obviously he also wasn't attracted to enormous throbbing futa cocks. With all those self assurances firmly in mind, Spike was about to knock, only to realize he was sporting a half chub.

“Go down you damn thing,” he muttered to himself, straightening the small tent he made in his skirt.

For once he wasn't angry about being only a measly three inches long, as it sure made hiding his erection a little easier. After a moment to cool down, and for the blood to flow elsewhere, Spike took a deep breath. Raising a hand, the dragon knocked twice on the door before taking a small step back and trying to muster a half normal looking smile.

“Come on in!” shouted a feminine voice.

Spike shrugged, and turned the handle, stepping into the surprisingly large room complete with a blackboard as well as a small attached bathroom. A single enormous pane of glass overlooked the track as well as the rune circles used to train magic users. Inside the room there were a great many books stacked on a long shelf spanning almost the entire space.

There was also a table large enough to seat six and a desk just big enough for one mare as well as a dozen open books. A couple of games as well as a dart board rested on a shelf just above the folded up futon cushion that sat in a corner. It was also inhabited by two ponies who seemed to be in the middle of an extended study session.

The one who had claimed the desk was a petite unicorn with bright yellow fur, teal eyes, and a multi hued mane of red and orange. Her cutie mark was that of a stylized sun the same colors as her mane which was tied up into a tight bun atop her head. Upon entry, the surprisingly young looking mare gave Spike only a brief glance before getting back to whatever she was working on.

Unlike the tall, and quite lanky purple furred unicorn who sat alone at the desk. For when Spike walked in, she glanced in Spike’s direction, only to blink in surprise before hopping out of her seat and abandoning her novel. The unicorn’s bright magenta eyes flashed with excitement, and she bounded across the room, deep blue hair bouncing along with her.

Spike could just barely make out the starburst cutie mark on her flank before the towering unicorn stood over him.

Each of them had shed their uniforms which had been discarded on a nearby chair that sat near the entrance to the room.

“Woah you are tall,” Spike murmured.

“Thanks!” replied the pony. “I’m Twilight, and what's your name?”

“Don't bother telling her. You’re just here to try and sell us more of those awful magazine subscriptions,” remarked the other mare in a dry, bitter tone.

“At least let her do her little sales pitch,” retorted the taller pony.

“Okay first off. I’m not selling anything,” Spike exclaimed.

“That's a relief,” Twilight murmured. “Hopefully that means the business club has finally given up.”

“I doubt it,” muttered the other mare.

Spike cleared his throat. “And secondly, I’m a guy. Some bullies destroyed the other uniform and this was apparently the only dragon sized one they had left.”

That seemed to get the fiery maned pony’s attention, as she turned towards Spike and eyed him curiously. “You don't say. Then why are you here?”

“You didn't get lost did you?” Twilight questioned.

Spike blushed and shook his head. “No, I've been here long enough to know my way around. I’m actually here to join up possibly?”

Both mare’s eyes went wide, making Spike feel even more embarrassed and out of place.

“I need to join a club or else I won't have enough credits and everyone else said no so…” Spike trailed off.

“Oh this is wonderful!” Twilight exclaimed. “Sunset, Sunset, we finally have someone to fill the relief role left vacant since Braeburn graduated.”

“You should probably ask him about it first,” Sunset pointed out.

Twilight blinked. “Oh right.”

“What exactly are you talking about anyway?” Spike questioned.

“Well…” Twilight began. “Since you aren't a mare like us. That means your here to fill the relief position then.”

“Which is…” Spike pressed.

“Well we are all what you would call futanari,” Twilight explained in a hushed tone. “Mares like us tend to get aroused more frequently, and thus we require relief. Which is where you come in.”

Spike stood there quietly, his jaw hanging open.

“I told you that that was too much too soon,” Sunset remarked without looking up from her book.

“Oh no please tell me I didn't scare you off. You don't have to unless you really want to. It's just we’ve been so long without someone to fill that role,” Twilight hastily explained. “I wouldn't make you do anything you werent comfortable with.”

Spike awkwardly cleared his throat. “So if I were to join then I would have to be the club’s… relief?”

“If you want to join just to avoid getting kicked out then that's fine too,” Sunset stated, flipping a page. “I wouldn't want someone as cute as you to flunk because of that lame rule.”

Spike’s blushed profusely. “I suppose it wouldn't be that bad.”

“Really?” Twilight asked, the unicorn grabbing Spike’s hands in her hooves and staring intently at him with wide eyes.

How could he say no to such a hopeful expression? It would be like kicking a puppy. Spike thought to himself.

“Err yeah. Totally,” Spike replied.

Before he knew it Spike found himself hoisted into the air and spun around while Twilight hugged him tightly.

“Oh this is wonderful news!” exclaimed the pony. “You have no idea how happy I am.”

“I can imagine,” Spike muttered after he was dropped back to the ground, eyeballs still spinning in their sockets.

“Sorry about that. I’m glad you are interested though. There are so many nasty rumours about our club that I was scared you would leave,” Twilight exclaimed in a slightly somber tone.

Spike waved a hand dismissively. “Oh I don't listen to rumours. Too many lies out there.”

“Oh I like this one,” Sunset added while scribbling a note.

Spike raised an eyebrow. “So uh, what's with the studying? I thought we were weeks away from exams.”

“Sunset Shimmer is an honor roll student who graduated highschool a year early. She’s aiming to become the youngest court magician in history,” Twilight explained.

“And I have to hurry if I want to beat Starswirl who was accepted into the royal court at the age of twenty one,” Sunset Shimmer added.

“Which is why she spends so much of her time with her nose in her book and hasn't participated in many club activities,” Twilight exclaimed, placing extra emphasis on the last two words.

Was that a euphemism? Spike wondered. “So… how old are you anyway?”

“I’m twenty, and Sunset here just turned eighteen not long ago,” Twilight replied.

“July twenty second,” Sunset Shimmer stated.

“So do you guys have a lot of… club activities?” Spike inquired.

Twilight raised an eyebrow. “Of course. Though most of the time we just study together.”

“I think hes asking if we fuck a lot,” Sunset Shimmer remarked.

Twilight coughed. “Oh um yes. Though most members aren't fans of being on the well… receiving end of things.”

“Other than Pinkie Pie,” Sunset Shimmer added.

“Other than her,” Twilight leaned in close. “And Sunset if she's had a long day and needs to unwind.”

“I heard that,” Sunset muttered gruffly, blushing all the while.

Spike chuckled. “I can see it.”

Sunset grumbled and hid her nose in her book.

Twilight smirked. “But you don't have to worry about that right now. Sunset and I were just planning on having a relaxing evening including some light studying and some reading before heading home for dinner.”

Spike nodded. “That doesn't sound too bad. I should have brought my calculus books. I need to brush up on my math.”

“Oh feel free to borrow from our little library,” Twilight offered, gesturing to the long shelf. “I’ve collected most textbooks you may need for the first year courses.”

Spike’s eyes went wide when he recognized a familiar blue tome. “Oh that's convenient, thanks.”

“Just a little club perk,” Twilight exclaimed, flashing the dragon a quick wink.

“Hey you wouldn't happen to be very good at-” Spike began only to be interrupted when the club door was thrown open.

Revealing a prismatic pegasus standing in the doorway, the pony already working her uniform up over her head. As soon as she was free from the cloth prison, she threw the slightly sweaty item of clothing against a wall and let out a deep sigh of contentment. She then ran a teal hoof through her rainbow colored mane, and twisted her hips, inadvertently revealing her rainbow lightning bolt cutie mark.

“I think I landed weird after that last trick. Does anyone know where Pinkie Pie is?” She asked, only for her eyes to widen the second she saw Spike. “Oh hey, you’re cute. When did you get here?”

“A few minutes ago,” Spike replied, placing his hands on his hips. “And I’m a guy by the way.”

“Guy, girl, either way you’re cute,” replied the pegasus with a smirk.

Twilight chuckled. “This is Spike, our newest member and this overly forward individual is Rainbow Dash.”

“Captain of just about every sports team, and also the fastest pony in Canterlot university,” Rainbow Dash exclaimed, striking a pose.

“Well it's nice to meet you,” Spike replied, extending a hand.

Rainbow Dash slapped her hoof into the dragon’s open palm and shook it. “Wow your scales are really soft.”

“Er thanks,” Spike murmured.

“So,” Twilight interrupted. “Why were you looking for Pinkie Pie?”

Rainbow Dash chuckled awkwardly and rubbed the back of her neck. “Oh I just did this like, super hard trick and got a little excited so ya know…”

“She wanted to fuck Pinkie Pie again,” Sunset Shimmer deadpanned.

“Yeah pretty much,” Rainbow Dash admitted with a shrug.

“I’m sorry to say that Pinkie Pie is busy with a party right now. She said to give you this note though,” Twilight remarked, using her magic to grab and pass a small pink slip of paper.

“Sorry I can't be there,” Rainbow Dash began. “But little Blue Skies really needs a super awesome birthday party right now. Why don't you ask the new guy to have a little fun? Love, Pinkie Pie.”

“Wait, did it really say that?” Spike asked, leaning in.

Rainbow Dash nodded. “Yup, right there.”

Spike blinked. “Huh. How did she know? I’ve only met Pinkie Pie once.”

“It is a mystery best not contemplated,” Twilight warned.

“The source of her anomalous abilities will be discovered… eventually,” Sunset Shimmer murmured.

“So, do you wanna?” Rainbow Dash asked, grabbing Spike by the shoulders.

“Wanna what?” Spike replied, glancing from Twilight to Rainbow Dash.

“Why fuck of course,” Rainbow Dash replied. “Hey Twi we still got the lube here right?”

Twilight nodded. “Of course. It's right above the futon.”

“Awesome, so what do ya say dude? Wanna get a little dirty?” Rainbow Dash pressed, flashing the dragon a lewd smirk.

“Err I’ve never…” Spike gulped, and tapped his index fingers together.

“What was that? You trailed off at the end there,” Rainbow Dash pressed.

“Ive never had sex before,” Spike admitted, shoulders slumping. “Or even kissed anyone either.”

“Hot damn, now I have to fuck you!” Rainbow Dash exclaimed.

“Rainbow! Relax and let the poor little guy think,” Twilight admonished, gently removing the pegasus’ hoof from around Spike’s neck.

“I mean I’m not against it…” Spike whispered.

“I promise I’ll go slow at first,” Rainbow Dash stated.

“Fat chance of that,” Sunset Shimmer remarked.

“Quiet you! I can go slow,” Rainbow Dash exclaimed, jabbing a hoof at the dragon. “So, what do you say?”

Spike gulped. “Okay.”

Author's Note

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