Dreams Lost in the Thought of Time...
The In-Between was a place where Time held no meaning, where Matter didn’t, and Space was irrelevant. And yet...it was not empty.
It had no Name that It could remember. It had the vaguest sense that It should, but why that was, and why It didn't...that was unknown. It could not remember anything other than the In-Between. Its existence, Its very awareness, had no concept of Before, or of After. There was only Now...and a nagging sense that It was incomplete. It existed for an eternal moment, that quandary at the forefront of all that It was.
Then the In-Between changed, and It became aware of forces beyond. Time and Space nibbled at the edges, and It knew the concept of drifting in an empty nothingness, of the passage of moments. With the experience came a touch of energy that revitalized It, and it knew without knowing that that energy had a Name: Magic.
It knew, in some indefinable way that Magic was part of It. For the first time that It could recall, it felt. And that feeling was something that had many flavors: want, longing, hunger, craving...but It knew its true Name.
Desire.
Desire to remember what It had lost.
Desire to know what It had forgotten.
Desire to have Its Name returned.
Desire to feel more.
But then, whatever had brought Time and Space to the edges of the In-Between pulled them away from each other, and It was frozen again in a moment and an eternity.
It was different now, though, changed by the brush of Magic and the place It decided was Beyond. And so, that endless Now was filled with a Desire that taught It another feeling, an aching sense of Loss that vibrated through Its essence.
Existence became eternities broken by moments where the Beyond touched the In-Between, and those moments came with more feelings, more brushes from Beyond, from Magic. And sometimes, those moments brought something new to the In-Between...other awarenesses that traversed the interference of Space and Time to the Beyond again. It observed, but remained apart, as those awarenesses came and went, preferring to glean new feelings and the occasional flicker of something like memory, fractured and broken.
It learned the heat of Rage, the icy chill of Despair, the warm bubble of Hope, the sting of Sorrow, It basked in the effervescence of Joy, twisted with Guilt, curled in on Itself with Shame, and came to rely on the steadfastness of Determination. It found Misery in what had begun to feel like imprisonment, and railed against Its place in the In-Between in Frustration, and trembled in Fear that the In-Between was all It was meant to know.
It had felt the touch of Beyond many times when everything Changed.
The familiar sense of Time and Space encroaching ripples through the In-Between, providing an anchor and guidepost for Its thoughts, and with it an awareness arrived in the In-Between. Unlike those that had become Before, this awareness lingered, and radiated emotions that made those It had felt seem as nothing more than a pale shadow. Rage and fury battered Its being, a blazing inferno wrapped around Loss and Sorrow that stabbed into Its core.
It felt Itself drawn towards this new awareness, called by something It could not give Name to. The Desire that had been Its first emotion drove It to act, and It gave into the call.
The other awareness stopped its trek, hanging frozen in the In-Between, allowing It to come closer to the sensation drawing It in. This other awareness resonated with It the way none of the other awarenesses had, in a way not even Magic had...
The pull drew It into the heart of a firestorm of emotions, and there, in the eye of the storm, It sensed the feeling that was the catalyst for all of the other emotions present. Desire, deep and all consuming, slowly devouring this other from the inside out, Desire that echoed Its own essence crying out for what was missing from Its existence.
When the two awarenesses came into contact, the emotional upheaval intensified, and It could feel Itself coming undone, the other awareness making it a part of itself, one emotion at a time. For a moment, It considered Fear at the notion of being subsumed, but that same knowing without knowing told It that this was something that was meant to happen, and so Fear was the first feeling to be pulled and braided into the new whole.
FLASH!
Leaping flames and choking smoke surrounded a tiny figure that wailed to the heavens, even as it cowered among detritus on a smoldering ground, shrieking, flying shapes letting out shrill noises as they swooped at it.
FLASH!
Wide eyes stared at the larger creature that hissed venom at it, disgust and hate oozing off it in waves.
FLASH!
It absorbed this new knowing, uncertain what to make of it; It tumbled and twisted in the maelstrom, as if what It could experience mirrored the emotion within...
And like a moth to a flame, Its Confusion drew It in again.
FLASH!
A towering, indistinct form, spewing words laced with condescension and derision...much of it was lost in an incomprehensible mass of noise that meant nothing. All that came through clearly was a single idea, one that echoed and repeated: Not your mother...
FLASH!
Strange symbols swam before blurry vision, meant to mean something, knowledge locked within the shapes like some great puzzle lock made of ink and paper.
FLASH!
Trepidation nipped at the edges of awareness as movement brought a space filled with staring eyes and bright color, the sound of murmuring buzzing in the air.
FLASH!
The Confusion melted away, pulled into a greater whole almost before It could truly and fully experience the flashes of insight. Frustration and Rage rose up in response, and the essence of the other grabbed those two feelings almost greedily, devouring...
FLASH!
Hate-hurt-rage, all directed at the form that had driven words like a spike through its chest, screaming its feelings out to the world with an explosion of fire and heat and force. Nothing mattered but the need to turn the Rage and Pain back on those who caused it.
FLASH!
Pink, smiling features stared guilelessly, and the ignorance of it only served to make the raw, painful fury worse. Everything that had ever been Desired, given to the owner of those cheerful eyes, unknowing and unappreciated. Flame began to lick along the ground beneath, smoke rising.
FLASH!
A contest of Wills, Rage meeting Rage as the enormous white beast deflected what had been thrown at it. Sharp words and the rapid shift of hot to cold and back again.
FLASH!
What fight It had left It, the awareness surrendering to the inexorable outcome, a fleeting flicker of Sorrow and Misery merging into Despair that It would cease to Be...
FLASH!
Unwanted, unloved...what was the purpose of trying anymore. Eyes reddened by weeping looked back from a mirror, their owner broken and shattered inside....
FLASH!
Each word of disappointment and chastisement was like a physical blow, until the small body collapsed onto the floor, sobbing.
FLASH!
Different. Too different for the others. They spurned different as unworthy, as shameful, never aware of how each dismissal, each unkind act, each hurtful remark twisted the knife, leaving behind a gaping wound in the soul...
FLASH!
Faster and faster the awareness was pulled into the parts of its sum, but each time imparting a knowing of the other, until not much was left at all. And yet, even as It felt the last of Itself melding into the warm awareness that was now on its way to the place where Beyond infringed on the In-Between, the final bit of knowing came to it, and with it, Hope bloomed.
Something had been set into motion, something important that could not be stopped, and Its last moment of existence was one of joyful anticipation...
Author's Note
Created for the March prompt for Krickis' Discord Writing Club. Super proud of this one, I hope you guys like it!
