Her Tattered Soul

by BluedSuekkered

Rating: mature
Tags: Twilight Sparkle, Princess Celestia, Alternate Universe, Sad, Nightmare Moon, Princess Luna, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Romance
Length: 3333

The Elements achieves a much different effect when used on The Mare In the Moon

It is unknown what causes the Elements of Harmony to judge the way that they do. Where they might banish one to the Moon, it can just as easily do something different. What happens when it decides to spare Nightmare Moon annihilation, with the caveat being the villain must go on without her memories?

Published 2021-03-10 21:50:00 UTC
Last updated 2021-03-21 18:26:12 UTC

Complications

This was incredible! Really unfortunate but incredible! Being able to see the Elements in action was the incredible part. Being knocked out was the rather unfortunate bit. If only there would be more time to study them perhaps I could be able to reliably predict what the artifacts would do!

"Uh, Twi?"

Whoops, it seems I had become sidetracked.

"Oh, uh, forgive me Applejack. I was just so enamored with the possibilities of the avenues of research that could be conducted now that the elements are at our disposal! Not only that but the interesting reaction of Nightmare Moon upon being exposed to them was so fascinating-"

I would have continued but my head was rudely turned to look down a familiar cyan snout.

"Okay okay, you can go do whatever egg-heady stuff you feel like doing later! Focus on Nightmare Moon still standing even though we just blasted her."

After that, all of our attention was drawn back to the villain as Nightmare Moon (NMM for short!) appeared to awake with a rather painful sounding, groan, whisper? Hard to tell at this distance.

"Well, Ah don't think she'd be considered standin'. But I get whatcha mean."

"Oh no, she seems really hurt!"

Fluttershy with her seemingly endless wellspring of compassion, remarks at NMM's state. She even starts to move to the fallen mare's side!

"Ugh, Flutters, I know that you kindness is kinda your thing but that's a bad pony!"

"That still doesn't mean we should just leave her like that."

Applejack looks apprehensive.

"Ah'm gonna agree with Rainbow here on this, what if it's a trick or something? She could seriously hurt you!"

Fluttershy looks to the other members of the group.

"Rarity, Pinkie Pie?"

Rarity speaks up first.

"Sorry dear, but I must acquiesce to my peers. The nighttime is nice, but I do not wish for it to last forever."

Then the usually exuberant pony followed with a surprisingly soft spoken: "I didn't wanna hurt anypony. I didn't think it was gonna do that."

She appeared like she wished to not speak further. Sorry Pinkie, and sorry Fluttershy.

"I think we should we use the Elements again. The only way to get Princess Celestia back is to stop Nightmare Moon!"

Adding in my voice in favor of using them again, the two ponies reluctantly agreed and got ready. I'd need to apologize for pressuring them like this. Hopefully seeing Princess Celestia will convince them they did the right thing in spite of the minor discomfort.

Feeling the power of the Elements once again, I feel certain that we won't manage to knock ourselves out this time!

Confusion

The prismatic light would be beautiful if it did not make me feel dread. Was this what, the, um?

Our name is Luna.

Thank you. Was this what Luna was referring to? The Elements of Harmony?

Doth thou really not know?

No.

We had thought it another trick. Is this what the Elements of Harmony had wrought? Erased thy memories?

It would seem so, given how I know nothing.

If that is the case-

I do not know what her next words would be, as the wave of color flowed over me before she could finish. I was sure that I would be subjected to another bout of misery brought on by injury. Yet the light did not singe my body and soul. Instead I felt rejuvenated, as if I had been demolished and built anew!

Yet, just as soon as it had started, it was over. I had not felt myself stand up, yet there I stood. Looking around; I am unsure what I had expected upon gaining awareness of what was outside the mindscape. Six ponies in a wide array of colors would certainly not be it. As they begin to speak I must make sure to catalogue who was saying what.

"Um, okay! That wasn't supposed to happen I don't think!"

A cyan pegasus, rainbow mane, rainbow tail. Outrage, slight tinge of fear in voice.

"Well uh, that's a darn shame. Heheheh."

Orange pony, doesn't have wings, blonde mane, blonde tail. Nervous?

"But, but, how?!"

Purple unicorn, dark magenta hair and pink highlights for both mane and tail. Utter bafflement.

"Oh, oh, no no no. Not sure how I should feel right now."

Yellow pegasus, pink mane, pink tail. Hiding her face in her wings? Strange. Almost didn't hear that.

"Nice to see you're not hurt anymore! But please don't make night last forever okay! Having an extra long party that goes into the night is nice but you need to make sure that everypony has a chance to rest otherwise they might not be able to go to the next party because they're too tired which is why having night forever is bad because the party also lasts forever which is nice! But also as I just said- "

Pink, a lot of pink. Relief in voice, at least at the beginning? I tune out before my mind is overloaded with far too much information.

Finally, a white unicorn with dark blue hair and tail. Passed out? Must be faint of heart.

What happens now, the Elements did not work. And now We cannot discern thy intentions as thee may well be a stranger now!

Please calm yourself, I am trying to get my bearings. Once I do, I will then act accordingly.

How can we calm ourself! Our sister is still imprisoned, and thou art still parasitizing us!

That explains why I can hear you inside my head. What was that about your sister?

Firstly, it is our head and secondly our sister is in a magic prison of thine pilfered design.

Very well, let us free your sister. I take it she will know what to do? At her lack of response I walk over to the group of ponies that had restored me. On approach they looked ready to flee, hope my question shows I mean no harm.

"Excuse me, do any of the ponies present know where Luna's sister may be hidden?"

The lavender one spluttered at my supposed audacity.

"Y-you were the one who imprisoned Celestia!"

"Ah, is that her name?"

My response was not satisfactory it seems. They shout at me, seem indignant, but because they are all talking at once I cannot understand them.

We cannot believe this is what it has come to.

Suddenly I feel a loss of feeling in my limbs, this would be frightening if it were not for Luna's quick assurances. She has wrested control from me.

"Silence!"

Rather impressive, one word was all it took to make them quiet.

Not so in the days before the both of us were imprisoned. It was a common occurrence to make use of the Royal Voice. We did not consider it impressive, just a chore.

Imprisoned?

Hush.

"We are Princess Luna, the one you know as Nightmare Moon is not speaking as of present. You hath done well to quell the threat."

Incredible and disconcerting, hearing a voice coming from my body without me being the one to speak.

Our body.

Whatever, the white unicorn is speaking by the way. Wonder when she got up.

"... I know of only two princesses and those are Princess Celestia and Princess Cadance. I don't recall a villain like you anywhere, much less a princess!"

Did you really forget about us.

"Did you really forget about us."

From the mindscape I can feel Luna's mood darkening.

"We do not have time for this!"

A cool feeling washes over me as Luna does, something. A flash occurs and we all find ourselves in another room. Across from us all, there lies an alicorn in shadowy chains.

"Hello sister."

The radiant alicorn starts, looking up from the floor to where we are.

"Luna! I-"

Sorry to disappoint? I take it she was wanting something else.

"What's going on?"

The alicorn does not know what to make of what she sees.

The pony I assume is Celestia looks from us towards the group of much smaller ponies. All at once the group of six, eager to aid their princess, move to crowd around her. Celestia is understandably, a bit overwhelmed. I feel a pang of heartache from Luna at seeing the ponies flock towards her sister. I wish I could help.

Thou can help by being silent.

Now I'm the one with a wounded heart. I wish I could keep my thoughts from bleeding out into the mindscape, spare my feelings the beating.

Thou used to be able to do so.

We have established I am different from the one you used to know.

Thy name is still Nightmare Moon. Even if thou hath forgotten.

Fine.

"So, did you have a change of heart, Nightmare Moon?"

Celestia asks of us, apprehension in her voice. She is waiting for something. The herd of ponies look to shield her from whatever may come. What does the alicorn want?

She is waiting for Us to give an answer that would assuage her fears.

"It's me, Tia."

Celestia gasps, she was expecting me to be the one to speak. Guess she had prepared herself for disappointment.

"Is it really? It could just as easily be a trick."

Luna scoffs.

"Your ponies used the Elements on me, and Nightmare Moon has been quelled."

Celestia looked to those surrounding her.

"Is this true?"

Before they can all clamor, the purple coated one speaks first.

"Yes but it didn't destroy Nightmare Moon, she's still there but she says that she's actually Luna and your sister but that can't be right because I never heard you speak about a sister-"

Celestia shushes the little pony.

"What does Twilight mean by this?"

I can feel Luna's aggravation, but she lets it go in a huff. The anger draining out of her before it can take root.

She should have believed in Us. Whatever.

"If you could allow Us to speak, we could discern what hast occurred. As well as deduce how to move forward."

Celestia's radiance dims ever so slightly, as her tension is drained away as well.

"We shall speak. Once my bondage has been undone?"

Why is she smiling so wryly?

We don't know, was that supposed to be a jest?

Clarification

It is a bit rude to be talked about and not be addressed directly.

Let Us know if thou have anything of value to add and then We may let you speak.

"So, you are still bonded with the parasite?"

"Yes, unfortunately."

"So it's still a danger."

"We'll figure something out. For right now let us release thou."

Luna raises her head, which she had done before teleporting us all to Celestia's location. I recognize what Luna is doing now, it is magic! It feels cool, like a pony who was in hot weather coming into a cold building. Very refreshing, invigorating even. The breaking of the chains linking Celestia to the ground was satisfying.

Upon seeing the equine rise I realize that the other ponies are quite diminutive. We are more than twice their height, give or take a few inches.

This is normal, there is reason We and Our sister call them "our little ponies".

Rather adorable.

Quite.

"Thank you Luna, I had thought that I would have cramps after being on the ground so long."

"It wasn't nearly long enough to even start to make thou uncomfortable."

Celestia adopts a sad smile.

"That was supposed to be a joke, Lulu."

"Oh."

To be fair I did not understand it either.

Out of view, I can hear someone trying very hard to not laugh.

"Hahahah! Is that your nickname, Lulu?!"

Of course it would be the cyan eyesore.

"Of course it would be the cyan eyesore."

Is that really what motivates thou to action?

"It is a nice name and it should not be mocked."

The whelp cringes.

"Geeze didn't realize Celestia's sister would be mean like that!"

Now I am getting annoyed, they should be aware of which pony they are speaking to.

Nightmare, do not ruin this for me!

Celestia gets between us and her ponies.

"She's been on the moon for a millennium, and was- is currently having to share space with a malevolent spirit."

The lavender unicorn winces. Quickly approaching the princess she launches herself into a flurry of apologies. The poor dear looks close to tears when Celestia gently pats her on the head with a wing.

"You performed admirably my faithful student. You not only managed to make friends but also rallied them together to make this journey."

She speaks so softly to Twilight, voice full of affection and patience. I feel a deep sense of longing from hearing it.

"And Twilight, you brought my sister back to me."

Celestia looks towards us, my heart hitches. While her smile is small, it feels like the rays of sunshine breaking through the clouds. When did that happen?

She's raising the sun, like I do the moon.

That is remarkable. I feel like laughing at how matter of fact Luna's words felt.

"Let's go home Luna."

Celestia addresses Twilight.

"I would ask you come with, but I have a feeling I know what your answer may be."

We should leave them be for now.

Very well.

The castle has a bit of a haunting sort of beauty to it, does it not?

It used to be beautiful. Clearly it has fallen into disrepair in the time We have been away.

I'm sorry.

I can feel Luna draw a blank at my apology. Was it not the right thing to do?

Why art thou apologizing?

It is clear that something terrible has befallen both you and Celestia because of my actions. From what I could piece together I caused the both of us to be exiled. This in turn caused Celestia strife, and made you hate me.

Let Us get back home. Too much has happened today and We feel exhausted.

I cannot help but feel wounded at her lack of a response. I suppose I cannot wish for more, though. Or I should not wish for more, rather.

I feel tired.

Understanding

It is some time before I become aware of myself again. Our surroundings are different, it still appears to be a castle, but this one does not seem to be in an egregious state of disrepair.

We reside in Canterlot Castle, Nightmare.

Ah, what happened while I was...

"Gone"?

Yes, I do not know how else to describe it.

Perhaps asleep would also be a descriptor of your absence.

Alright, what happened while I was "asleep"?

We and Tia bid Twilight Sparkle and her friends farewell. Tia would then teleport Us into Canterlot, where the new seat of power in Equestria was built.

Is that it?

It was a quiet journey, We did not even encounter any guards, no courtiers, or sycophants, or peasantry. It felt as if the world were standing still.

I suppose there was so much to talk about with your sister that neither of you knew where to even begin.

Thus, We never started.

I'm sorry.

Why must thou continue to metaphorically prostrate thyself?!

I must have done something wrong, for you to hate me so.

We-

Luna begins to pace around the room. Her thoughts starting and stopping again and again. From what I can see through her eyes, the room is well furnished. Evidently it appears to be Luna's bedchambers, considering the massive canopy mattress that is the centerpiece of our current location.

Before I can make more observations, Luna speaks to me.

We do not hate you.

If that is the case, why were you speaking to me with such vitriol, such venom?

Because We want to place blame solely upon thee. Even if We know better.

What happened to us Luna?

Please, another time.

I would argue, but I can tell that we are exhausted. Seems that despite me being "asleep", it did not count as rest.

Luna moves us to her bed, and I can make out the finer details now.

The blanket shimmers despite seeming pure black from afar. It shows a beautiful nebula, the depiction of the mass of cosmic dust is immaculate. One would think that the actual astronomical phenomenon were trapped in the fabric.

The canopy is similar in theme, it is styled to look like the night sky. The stars twinkle brightly, shining soft light that is just bright enough to delight.

The mattress itself is sinfully soft, though still offering ample support. Perhaps it is made of cloud?

As Luna pulls the covers over us, my scattered mind is soothed.

I feel so much and so little, my inner narrative broken into disjointed thoughts that are feebly trying to form a cohesive whole. If were by myself, I would have been torn asunder. My mind held together by my headmate, as she keeps us moving forward.

I want to wail in grief for something I do not know, or recognize, or remember.

Goodnight Moon.

Yet Luna is here, with her, maybe things will be alright?

Goodnight Luna.

Author's Note

I hope this whole stream of consciousness was understandable. Wanted to portray Nightmare Moon's thoughts, along with how disjointed they are after having tasted the rainbow. So as she remembers how to exist, the narrative that comes from her perspective will become more "grounded" so to speak. Which is hopefully shown as she regains the ability to send her thoughts to Luna instead of having them bleed over, as represented by the bold text to contrast Luna's italics.

I always worry whether or not I'm making myself capable of being understood. It's a big fear of mine that I lose the ability to make sense. :pinkiesad2:

Pain

Many words to describe pain. Agony, anguish, torment, all are valid descriptors. Perhaps the most accurate one would be burning, as it felt as if I had been thrown into the corona of the sun. I can hear voices, but I cannot discern what they are saying. My mind must be occupied by this misery, cannot concentrate enough on the sound's meaning.

No less than thou hath earned!

Now confusion is what has the lion's share of my attention.

What could thou be confused about? Thy reckoning is at hoof!

Perhaps if I knew what I had done I could decide on whether or not what has befallen me was well earned.

Do not try and deny thy crimes! Do not perform the role of the fool, who hast not the idea of thy actions!

"I am telling you, I have not even the slightest hint, of a shadow, of an echo of an idea of what I have done!"

It felt like I had screamed at the top of my lungs, but it truly sounded as only a reedy hiss. The voices are there again, this time I can at least infer the meaning. They are, scared, worried?

Not for much longer, surely the Elements of Harmony, when used once more will rid us of thou for good!

Why, do you-

"Hate, me?"

Tears come unbidden from my eyes, now an emotional turmoil has added to my physical stress.

W-what are thy doing? We had thought that thou would continue on in indignation? Thou surely cannot be sorrowful, not when thy had acted with such malice for so long. Entirely unfettered by conscious. Why now?

I would have stayed in my near inconsolable state were it not for a rainbow light tearing new holes in my retinas.

Author's Note

I don't know what is exactly that had brought back my hyperfixation of My Little Pony, but here I am! I hope that my writing is not too wretched and deplorable that it brings physical pain to all that view this work. I not only need to rewatch what I had of MLP but also finish what else there is!