Pinkie Pilot

by Casketbase77

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Other, Pinkie Pie
Length: 2045

Small time roles suit Pinkie Pie fine, since Hasbro can't give just ANY pony a spot in the protagonist roster. Her latest gig is the intro logo in some new show, “Friendship is Magic.” It's not much, but maybe she'll make some friends on set.

With Gen 3 wrapped and Gen 4 getting underway, longtime lurker Pinkie Pie lands her biggest role yet: A logo face for the pilot in progress.

Ponies old and new converge on one soundstage where an impassioned new director named Faust is working to realize her vision. All agreeable as far as Pinkie is concerned. If it helps improve the show, she's happy to fill any role, no matter how small.

This is an entry in the Snippet Series, an anthology of old oneshots that I (and my good buddy Str8aura) wrote based around interesting pics I found. New ones will be posted every other Thursday for the foreseeable future.

Published 2021-03-04 05:30:01 UTC
Last updated 2021-03-04 05:30:01 UTC

Surprise, Surprise

“Raaawr!” Pinkie chuffed in her best tough girl whinny. “Raaaawr! Raaaaa-“ her performance degraded into dry, hacking coughs that shook the cheap plywood prop her head was poking through. “Oogh. Sorry everyone. Spotlights are shining dust all on me.”

Between those harsh lights and her awkwardly bent neck, Pinkie had difficulty seeing anything past the edge of the soundstage. She saw enough though. The director chair had a stiff-postured shape in it. Standing next to the chair was another pony shape, leaning over and whispering something without taking its eyes off Pinkie. The director shape nodded and spoke up.

“Everyone take five except for the cleaning crew. I want the stage fully wiped down for the next take. This is no way to treat our actors.”

Hoofsteps sounded all around Pinkie as the lights shut off with a collective whumph. Even in her limited acting experience, Pinkie Pie could tell this studio was cheap as cheap could be. Barely better than a backlot, really. And yet, Pinkie’s last job had been as a nameless extra in a toy commercial. The one before that was posing uncredited for a coloring book render, and the one before that... actually those were the only jobs she’d landed in Gens 1 through 3.

Hasbro had a lot of ponies to employ and not a lot of dignified roles. Hence Pinkie’s current gig of yowling like a goofball for some silly new show’s opening logo. To be optimistic though, she was certainly getting her face out there. Maybe come Gen 5 or 6 she might even get a speaking role. That'd be a hoot.

Pinkie sighed gratefully and squirmed to free her head from the logo iris. Her messy mane was complicating the task.

“Lemme help you out of there, sweetums.”

Friendly wings steadied Pinkie’s withers and athletic white hooves pushed the prop away. Pinkie rubbed her liberated neck. Then she gawked in amazement at the pony who’d taken time from their precious break to rescue her.

“Surprise: Surprise,” the famous pegasus announced herself. Her punny catchphrase sounded unbearably corny whenever an average pony quoted it, but Surprise was not an average pony.

“Holy moly, rock and rolly.”

Pinkie shook her head to clear it. “I mean wowie. Yeesh. I’m not the type to get tongue-tied, but you’re...”

“An actor on break,” Surprise assured. “Same as you.”

Pinkie blew a dismissive raspberry. “I make animal noises for the corporate intro. You’re the whole reason this show even got picked up by the studio.”

Surprise hid her embarrassment by pretending to preen a few primary feathers. While it was true her presence brought a lot of credibility to this project, Surprise was an old soul. Gen 1 had been her old stomping ground, and she'd never expected to stand in the spotlight again. Not til a small time creative director came knocking at her door last week. Besides, the more ponies Surprise saw on the set of this new show (“Friendship is Magic” as the script-in-progress called it), the more she felt it deserved some younger blood than she could offer.

“Refreshment for you, ma’am!”

Speaking of young blood...

Pinkie flinched as a nimble Earth Pony skidded to a stop between her and Surprise. The filly’s ruby red hair was fixed with a big pink bow, and her impressively steady shoulders balanced a cup of water between their peaks.

“Thanks plenty, sweetums.” Surprise had barely accepted her drink before the filly darted eagerly off again. Pinkie watched her zip past a pair of workhorses who’d arrived and begun dusting the stage with her or Surprise even noticing.

“I’m kinda new to actual showbiz," Pinkie confessed. "Are foals that deliver drinks a regular thing ‘round here?”

Surprise fished an ice cube from the water glass and held it to her forehead. “Sons and daughters of working actors sometimes make it on set. The ones that want to feel useful usually get given drink duty. Ten bits says that one’s related to someone playing another member of the Mane Six.”

“Oh!” Pinkie lit up. “Apple Bloom. That must’ve been Apple Bloom, baby sister of Miss AJ!”

Surprise nodded. “Mm-hm. That sounds right.” She glanced at the workhorses and lowered her voice sheepishly. “Just between us, I’m hopelessly bad with names, so I just call others ‘sweetums’ as a catchall.”

“Well shoot,” Pinkie giggled. “I feel a little less special now.”

Surprise blinked. “Did... did I call you that already?”

“Yeppers. Right before freeing me from the stocks.”

Surprise shut her eyes, still maintaining her forehead ice cube massage. “I swear, this worn out old head of mine.... you want this water? You sounded close to coughing up a lung during your scene earlier.”

Pinkie downed the offered drink in one gulp. “You heard that, huh? Yeah, some creatures’re built for bellowing, but I’m not one of em. Wonder why they’re having a pony do the logo. I used to watch these old timey shows where a manticore would roar at the beginning, and it was the coolest thing ever.”

A sullen smile was spreading across Surprise’s muzzle. “You really think Creative Director Faust can afford a manticore handler for this shoot? Look at her over there. Something tells me we’re over budget as is.” She nodded past Pinkie, who peered cautiously at their boss.

Mrs Faust was still in her director chair. It faced away from the stage and towards several authoritative looking Hasbro suits surrounding her. One pointed at a copy of the script and Faust nodded, ashen faced and tight-lipped.

"Nothing filmed today is making it into the actual episode," Surprise predicted wistfully. "They're gonna cut the ending action scene for sure. And maybe knock a few cast members off the project too."

"They better not nix that crazy choreographed magic duel between Twilight and Nightmare Moon," Pinkie pouted. "No way. No wiggly way. What're they gonna replace it with? A cgi rainbow barf fest?"

Surprise shrugged. Penny-pinching was important for a forgettable brand like My Little Pony, and she'd been in the industry long enough not rule out any mandated cut ideas from the higher ups.

One of the suits said something that made Mrs Faust's jaw drop. She turned and looked across the room. At Surprise.

Directly at Surprise.

"Ah beans," the pegasus muttered. "I'm getting fired."

"WHAAAAT??"

"Hush, sweetums."

Pinkie didn't want to hush. Surprise was iconic. Surprise had been around since the beginning. What reason was there to watch a show if a Gen 1 pony wasn't in it? What newer pony had enough appeal to even be considered to take her place?

Pinkie definitely didn't want to hush. But she knew not to mouth off in front of Mrs Faust, and she especially knew not to mouth off in front of the Hasbro suits. Even when they were about to make a decision that would leave Gen 4 unrecognizable.

"It's a relief, really" Surprise went on. "I signed on because I wanted this project to get off the ground. Seems it has, so now I can go back to doing more important things."

"More important than starring in the show?" Pinkie gripped her empty glass, since it was the only sense of grounding she felt she still had. "Making little tykes happy is the most important thing a pony can do. And you’re the Element of Laughter, so that's like doubly the most important thing for you to do."

"That it is," Surprise agreed cryptically. "That it is."

"Can I take your trash away, ma'am?"

Pinkie flinched, caught off guard by another eager filly who'd apparently been assigned helper duties. This one was a purplish pegasus.

"S'all yours, kiddo," she sighed.

"Awesome. Thanks sweetums!"

Pinkie blinked at the nickname.

"Hi grandma!" The filly waved at Surprise before taking to the air on blurry wings. "Bye grandma!" In a flurry of feathers, she was gone.

Surprise chose to remain silent while Pinkie put the pieces together.

"Sons and daughters of working ponies on set."

A nod.

"You're a Gen 1 pony."

Another nod.

"Making tykes happy is the most important thing a pony can do."

"You got it, babydoll."

A loudspeaker overhead crackled to life and Mrs Faust's voice murmured through the mic.

"That's a wrap for today, everypony. All named actors, please.... please report to conference room."

Idle chatter filled the floor as the cast and crew lazily dispersed. One of the workhorses huffed at having cleaned Pinkie's prop for no reason, but the other looked positively pleased to be going home early. They rolled up their tools and shuffled past Surprise, nodding politely. Neither even glanced at Pinkie.

"Guess I'm off to go feign disappointment," Surprise chuckled. "I feel bad for Faust; she really wanted me on for this show. But I got grandkids to spoil and she has budget cuts to make."

"Do you think anypony else'll be let go?" Pinkie asked fearfully.

"Nah, the rest of the Mane Six actresses are cheap unknowns. That Twilight lass especially. Haven't seen Hasbro pin so many hopes on a newcomer to carry a franchise since... heh. Me, I guess."

Pinkie wanted to give the older mare a hug. It was an unprofessional urge. She knew it was. But Pinkie Pie wasn't a professional pony.

"Whoa!" Surprise rocked on her hinds before finding her balance. She laced her wings over Pinkie's shoulders. "Easy girl. I'm retiring, not kicking off the mortal coil."

"I'll still miss you," Pinkie admitted. "You're the only friend I've made on set so far. I was hoping to have more by now, but seems like some things just aren't meant to be."

Surprise patted the younger mare's back sympathetically. "Tell you what, swe..." she frowned in frustration.

"Pinkie. My name is Pinkie."

"There we go. Tell you what, Pinkie. I've got enough sway with the higher ups that I can probably squeeze out a few background appearances throughout this show."

"Oh wowsers. Don't... don't stay on just for me. Pretty please don't feel like you have to stick around to gimme somepony I can hang onto." To prove her point, Pinkie broke off the hug and stepped away.

"It's no trouble, Miss Pinkie. Besides, I'm still hoping my little Pipp can get her hoof in the door for Gen 5. You'd be surprised how often foals on set get given scenes to test their acting chops. I bet that Apple Bloom darling from earlier gets roped into a role at some point. If she's good, they might keep her in."

Pinkie pawed the ground, feeling melancholy. "Wish I was still a filly. Haven't had much attention these past few Gens, if I'm being honest."

"Ha. I'll put in a good word for you at the cast meeting. Ask Mrs Faust to eyeball you over the next few shoots. If you behave, she might even pick you as the new Element of Laughter."

Pinkie blushed.

"I'm serious, kiddo. They’re already risking it all on a small timer like Twilight, so why not go for broke. Plus you have a winning smile, and it's a crime for you to be stuck in a role where all you do is snarl like a fool. The logo is almost guaranteed to get axed off the finished episode anyway."

"Feels like you're gonna steal Miss Fluttershy's spot as the Element of Kindness, Miss Surprise. For reals it feels like you are."

"Well, expect a few good girl points to get docked from my card since I'm already late to the cast meeting. I best hurry on over before they're all gone. Keep your ear to the ground in the next few days, m'kay? And if you notice Mrs Faust looking your way... be sure to smile."

Pinkie Pie waved the old pegasus off, after which the swing of a hallway door left her standing alone in the empty sound stage.

Pinkie took in the quiet, imagining the cameras rolling. Pinkie breathed in excitement, imagining herself as member of the adventurous Mane Six.

Pinkie smiled, imagining herself as Surprise. Still peppy in middle age because she had a foal of her own to love and make laugh.

Then she trotted off stage. She had a good feeling about this show.

Author's Note