This War of Mine

by LSTS Connor

Rating: teen
Tags: My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Dark, Alternate Universe, Original Character, Tragedy, Violence, Death
Length: 3940

A Damaged journal is found in an abandoned basement after the Pony-Changeling War. This is all that remains of its contents.

Its cover is torn
Pages are ripped out
And its contents are almost all lost.

But what does remain tells the story of one Crimson Wire and his life during the Changeling-Pony war.

Written in collaboration with my boi Darthball
This is also Darthballs and LSTS Connor's submission for the 4th EAW Write Off

Inspired by This war of mine really good game go play it if you haven't.
Coverart taken and edited from the Contests announcement/forum post and the Logo of This war of mine

Published 2021-03-05 22:20:02 UTC
Last updated 2021-03-05 22:20:02 UTC

The Pages

July 1st, 1011 ALB

Today was Marigold's 18th Birthday, and Scarlet and I couldn’t be happier. Our big filly was now all grown up, and we couldn’t be happier with smiles all around. Especially little Celosia who was ecstatic about her older sister becoming a grown-up. Sometimes I envy little Celosia for her innocence and ignorance about the world at large. But for the rest of us, we don’t have the same luxury. I just hope that the griffons aren’t suffering too much. I can’t imagine how it must feel to have your country collapse into anarchy and civil war.

But enough of that, today was a special day for our daughter and no amount of dwelling on what could happen because of what had happened can ruin my mood. Especially after seeing Marigold's face when she opened our present to her. She still hasn’t taken that guard helmet and she’s in bed, asleep!

July 28th, 1011 ALB

Work today was the same as usual.
-Arrive at the office
-Do paperwork
-Fix radios broken electrics
-Eat Lunch

-Avoid Margaret’s peaches at all costs
-Read the Marechester Times
-Fulfill work orders
-More paperwork
-Close up
-Go home to loving wife and children

Seems like a normal day in the life of Crimson Wire, no? Well, it was if you don’t count my constant grumbling at the sudden increase of military spending the Marechester times reported. I respect the Princesses as much as the next stallion but we haven’t had a major conflict in millennia! Besides, I would rather have my bits be put into helping those griffons across the ocean. I can’t imagine what they must be going through but you can bet your bottom bit Scarlet and I donated to that charity ‘Their feathers, our hearts’ to help any of those griffons affected by the Empire’s collapse.

Apparently, something was happening on the changeling border but I have no idea. Neither does Scarlet through her information channels aka the rumor mill of housewives. Well, here’s to hoping it’s nothing. Anyway, that's all I have to write for today then.

August 6th, 1011 ALB

It wasn’t nothing.

The changelings have invaded.

For the first time in millennia, Equestria is at war.

August 7th, 1011 ALB
Day 1 of the War

The town was a flurry of activity today.

Posters supporting our stallions in green are being put up on almost every building. At the office, I and several other coworkers decided to set up a special deal for any families who have members actively serving in the military. With the radio being constantly interrupted with news from the front those families would be very grateful for cheap electronic repairs.

Lokia radios may be almost indestructible but they are still nothing but wires on the inside. But hey, my name ain’t Crimson *Wire* for nothing after all. Finally, the office rumor mill is in full swing with whispers that a government contract may be in consideration. I hope that turns out to be true; a pay raise would certainly be nice.

September 14th, 1011 ALB
Day 38 of the War

Well turns out the rumor was true as today the contract was put into effect. From now on we are on Celestia’s payroll with us being in charge of repairing any faulty electrical equipment the military may send us. The Radios have kept us up to date on the war-situation as well as several safety tips on what to do if your area is in danger of being attacked by the changelings.

I mostly tuned out of those messages as with the current reports of the front and its distance from us we shouldn’t be in any danger.

If I had to complain about anything it would have to be the increased taxes. But even then If it helps our soldiers I won’t complain and neither does Scarlet.

October 10th, 1011 ALB
Day 64 of the War

I don’t know what to feel. On one side I want to be happy but on the other just, dear Celestia I still can’t keep the tears off of my face. Today Marigold, our dear strong Marigold, followed her dream and joined the guard. Although Scarlet and I have always supported her dream to become a guard, she couldn’t have chosen a more terrible time to follow that dream.

Those changelings are pushing deeper into Equestria and they’ve taken so many lives.

Please Celestia, Luna, Twilight, Cadence, and whatever gods above... Please don’t let my daughter join them.

November 20th, 1011ALB
Day 105 of the War

The radio’s gone silent.

Not in the sense of music no longer playing, but that those updates on the situation at the front had ceased entirely. It’s been four days of uninterrupted music. Not even the newspapers were printing anything on the current situation at the front.

And that terrifies me and Scarlet to no end

December 12th, 1011 ALB
Day 127 of the War

For my entire life, war had always been an abstract concept. It happened elsewhere and in distant lands, or half a country away from us. It seemed like a lifetime ago when I’d just read about it in the newspaper or hear about it on the radio. It was always drowned out and pushed aside for more pressing issues. We live in a small and insignificant town what possible reason would any invading force want here?

It wasn’t supposed to come here. I should have seen the signs. The posters, the recruiting stations, the rationing. Even then, we refused to see what was right in front of us. Again why would anyone bother to attack our small town? We had nothing of note here, no military bases or fuel warehouses, just two watermills. And one of them was abandoned! Tartarus, most of our population was already too old to be any real threat to anyone!

It was a cold yet sunny winter day when our life as we knew it, ended. Neighbors and friends that I had known for years were gone in the blink of an eye… we had lost everything. Our home, along with the entire southern district of Marechester was reduced to ash and rubble during the opening changeling bombardment. It was a miracle that we were able to find refuge in the basement of the nearby older and abandoned watermill. I will forever thank Scarlet for making us buy that house on the waterfront, even if that watermill did ruin the lakeside view.

Nothing could have ever prepared us for the chaos that would follow. The stench of death permeated the air as ponies cried out for their loved ones. Or the agonizing yells of those caught in the crossfire or under the rubble of their own home, as we snuck our way towards the watermill… I haven’t been able to process everything that has happened until now and to be honest, I don’t think I want to. Even as I write this, every sensation, every emotion comes flooding back to me.

The vibrations of shells impacting nearby, the sounds of buildings full of ponies collapsing in the distance, and those distant screams before the bullets began to fly. The whistle of falling artillery shells just kept getting louder as those vibrations grew ever stronger and closer. We were all eating lunch at the time as Celosia had just returned from school with an A+ on her latest quiz.

I told her I was proud of her. I still do every-day for being so brave. Even when our whole world came crashing down as we watched the town crumble under the changeling’s bombardment.

Right now all we can do is wait and hope those changelings don’t find us in this decrepit basement we now call home.

December 20th, 1011 ALB
Day 136 of the War

I can’t sleep.

I have grown used to the cacophony of violence that resounded outside, but my thoughts always drifted off to my eldest daughter, to Marigold. I could still remember the tears that stung my eyes as I watched Marigold leave to become a proud member of the Royal Guard. It was her dream, and who was I to interfere?

There was no correspondence after that; no line of communication. I was left completely in the dark, and could only wonder where she was deployed to. I still pray every night to the princess for her safety. After the attack, the doubts I harbored only worsened. How could anyone survive in such a war, let alone one so young like my little Marigold? The bombs and bullets did not discriminate in their senseless maimings and killings.

I must be strong for Scarlet and Celosia, but my mind remains fixated on one simple question.

Will I be able to see her alive and well again, and tell her that I love her?

I don’t know, but hearthwarming will be soon, and even in the situation we currently find ourselves in Scarlet and I will try our best to not have it be ruined for our little Celosia.

December 25th, 1011 ALB
Day 141 of the War

Today was our first and, hopefully, only Hearthwarming in this war without Marigold. There were no gifts exchanged, nor were they any cards to open. There were only prayers and Silent tears shed behind closed doors as Scarlet and I reaffirmed our love for each other, and that no matter what happened, we would power through it together.

We did however opt to give our food rations to Celosia so that at least she may still experience the feeling of a full belly on Hearthswarming.

It was all worth it, however, when Celosia gave us a big smile, her mouth full of food, as she dined like a Princess that night.

December 30th, 1011 ALB
Day 146 of the War

Keeping track of the days where the bloodshed outside stopped is the only thing keeping me sane down here.

That, and this diary.

It was the only thing I was able to pull from the wreckage of our home save for some cans of food. I tore out a few pages from the back for Celosia to doodle on, I can always get a new diary later. We will be rescued, the changelings will be pushed back, and everything will be fine. I know it will.

The new year is coming up so hopefully, this war won’t last much longer.

January 7th, 1012 ALB
Day 154 of the War

The regular morning shelling had stopped for several days now, it was a welcome change for the new year. Scarlet, bless her heart, thought that the worst was over. I did not share the same sentiment, but I couldn’t find it in myself to tell her otherwise, especially if my hunch was correct. I didn’t know what the changelings did to prisoners, but if the massacre of my neighbors was any indication, I didn’t want to find out.

We were out of options. I must find supplies, or else I’d be condemning us to a fate far worse than what our neighbors had.

Celosia asked us when we would go home.

I didn’t have an answer but gave her a smile and said before hugging her tightly.

“Soon Cel.”

January 16th, 1012 ALB
Day 161 162 of the War

Nothing in my darkest nightmares could have compared to the things I have witnessed. I could blame the stress and struggle for survival for my original and callous attitude to the dead, but now? Every step I took was beset by death. Corpses were strewn about between the piles of rubble. It was a small mercy that I could hardly recognize what was left of most of them.

I had never truly known what hunger felt like until I crept through the shadows of Marechester. The empty, gnawing feeling in the pit of my stomach as it tied itself into knots beset my every step as I searched far and wide for anything edible. The hunger pains were a mixed blessing. It allowed me to focus on my task, while also allowing me to remain some sense of blissful ignorance from all of the death, if even for a short while.

The west end of town fared better than our neighborhood. There were some buildings still standing. I did my best to remain hidden as I avoided any patrol I came across. With the changelings involved… I couldn’t take any chances. I couldn’t trust anyone.

The school was still standing. Mostly. The roof had caved in from an undetonated shell and dug itself right into the kindergarten room. My mind had drifted towards Celosia as I stared at the carnage. If they hadn’t let the foals out any sooner...There were no corpses or smears of blood seeping into the wooden floor, which gave me some hope that the other foals survived.

I had loaded as many snacks and edible fruits I could find into a small sack before I felt my blood chill. They were outside. Even from where I hid I was able to hear their laughs and chattering, confirming my worst fears. The enemy was occupying Marechester. We had lost.

I could still remember the dizziness in my head as my knees shook and my heart raced. The mere idea of being caught terrified me more than the explosions and the screams ever could as I slowly stepped around creaky floorboards and into the streets. I should have waited until nightfall, but the hunger pains clouded my judgment.

As I write this now, I can only hope that I didn’t lead them right back to us.

Scarlet cried into my chest earlier.

She was convinced that I wouldn’t survive out there, that I would have been shot or taken or worse. I hugged her tightly and kissed her on the forehead before she fell into a deep sleep. I silently prayed to Princess Luna to watch over her dreams. She doesn’t deserve to suffer like this. No creature does.

January 26th, 1012 ALB
Day 172 of the War

Celosia asked for more paper.

I am worried about her. She has spoken less and less since the new year, and not once have I seen her act anywhere near her old self. I tore out and handed her a few more pages from the back without hesitation.

Even without her colored pencils, my little Celosia knew how to make vivid pictures. The burning ponies and heaps of rubble looked almost life-like. I need to get her mind off this. Perhaps I could find a doll or some toys?

I missed her old drawings.

I ventured out into the town once more, and all I have to show for it is a deep gash on my left haunch. I should have never tried to climb through that window.

By Luna’s teats it stings.

February 2nd, 1012 ALB
Day 180 179 of the War

Celosia smiled for the first since the attack. Scarlet was braiding her mane while she hummed an old nursery tune. I watched in silence as I saw my precious little Cel begin to slowly fall into a deep sleep. Scarlet's lips curled upward until her eyes met mine. I had always joked with her about how she could read my mind like an open book.

I wished that I didn’t sour the mood, but I couldn’t help it. Between Marigold, the Celestia damned cut on my side, and our situation…

We were living on borrowed time staying here. I didn’t know what the changelings wanted, but I highly doubted that they would simply pack up and leave. We were lucky enough to avoid detection for now, but how long could we remain here? Why didn’t they investigate the mill?

Why did this war start?

February 16th, 1012 ALB
Day 193 of the War

We were running low on food again.

I could tell that Scarlet was unhappy, to say the least, with my decision, but she wouldn’t argue in front of Celosia. I didn’t want either of them to set a single hoof in town until we were able to escape. Besides, a single gash isn’t going to put me in the grave.

I just hope that I can get more supplies this time around so that we won’t have to risk ourselves again till the end of this Celestia damned war.

The town square was a lost cause.

Even from here, I could hear them buzzing like flies over a carcass. The Townhall and the Hospital across the street looked like they were completely infested. Green slime oozed from them and the other outlying buildings in the center of town like pus from a festering wound. My stomach still churns from the mere thought of it.

I kept a wide berth from the center of town and scavenged what I could from the nearby buildings. Apart from a small first aid kit and a few cans of foodstuffs, pickings were slim. Have I ever mentioned that I hate peaches?

Even the mere idea of going back out there makes my stomach quiver, but I have no choice in the matter. We don’t have enough food to last a week. Well at least my haunch has healed up nicely, all that’s left is a long scar across my hoof’s coat.

February 19th, 1012 ALB
Day 196 of the War

I had a good dream last night.

We were all sitting at the table for breakfast while the radio played a pleasant tune in the background as our neighbors and townsponies went about their day-to-day routines outside. I can’t remember any of the conversations we had, but my eyes stung when I woke up this morning.

I know that Luna watches over our dreams… but this felt like a sick joke.

Scarlet insisted on me eating a few cans of peaches. I tried to argue until she gave me the look.

I ate the peaches like a good colt even though I had to suppress several gags.

I am a terrible father.

I had focused so much of my energy on trying to keep us fed and safe that I neglected my own daughter. Scarlet had done her absolute best to keep Celosia comfortable, while I did nothing. The signs were right in front of me. The drawings… her lethargy. I was too busy sniffing for the next slice of cheese to notice.

My nightmares were haunted by a new kind of horror. The aches and pains I had felt in my stomach as it twisted itself into a noose terrified me. If I couldn’t handle it, how could they have? I was the stallion of the household, and I couldn’t even bear it.

My eyes remained transfixed on Celosia’s latest piece of art.

A royal guard’s mare took the center of attention, her face contorted into an expression of horror as black nightmarish creatures descended upon her.

That guard looked so familiar.

February 20th, 1012 ALB
Day 197 of the War

The hairs on the back of my head were standing up straight as soon as I approached closer towards the center of town. The activity had died down from my last visit, but I was still apprehensive. They could have been hiding anywhere for all I knew. I had fought against my better judgments and tried to scavenge regardless, as there was nothing left amongst the outlying buildings and rubble.

The grocery market’s produce was spoiled, but the scattered cans laying about were a sight for my sore eyes. I had filled my sack with cans of beans, dried fruits, and crackers, it was more than enough to feed us for weeks… but I needed to know.

I needed closure.

So I crept towards the market district in the center of town and towards the belly of the beast.

The enemy was still occupying town hall and the surrounding streets in force, but from the staggered patrols and the relaxed gaits of the bugs as they milled about, I could piece together that this was just a token force at best. Thankfully, the office complex was a good distance away from them… but even then, I felt like something was watching my every move.

It was harrowing to see how much had changed as my mind was filled with images and smells from what felt like a lifetime ago. The aroma of fresh coffee and the clinking of typewriters were replaced by rotting flesh and debris.

I had treaded carefully towards the frozen corpses as morbid curiosity took hold. Ms. Green was impaled on a steel rod, the janitor had the lower half of his body missing, Mr. Meadows was nothing more than a pile of meat, save for the id badge still attached to his torso. I had hoped beyond hope that somepony was still alive… it was pointless to come here. No pony would have tried to take refuge right next to a changeling base.

I left my former colleagues to rest in the snow.

February 21st, 1012 ALB
Day 198 of the War

My fears of being trailed were put to rest.

The sturdy wooden door wasn’t busted down by swarms of angry bugs in the dead of night. There were no signs of increased activity or patrols either, which brought us some comfort. We have enough food stocked to last us a month, perhaps even more so if we can ration things out properly.

Even so, we’re all going stir crazy. I can’t remember the last time Celosia or Scarlet were able to get a breath of fresh air. I had vehemently opposed them leaving the basement for any reason, but you can only look at the same four walls for so long before going crazy. Solitary confinement is considered an act of torture for a reason.

It’s just that… I was so afraid that they would find us. I forced them to wallow in this Celestia damned basement for months. Perhaps I can let them take a breath of fresh air, the changelings are too busy celebrating a job well done to bother with hunting down a few civilians.

February 28, 1012 ALB
Day ~~202~~ ~~203~~ 204 of the War
Celosia has a fever.

Scarlet is beside herself with grief as she cradled our daughter in her hooves. I felt completely powerless.

I needed to go out again.

~~I~~ I found medicine but…

I saw her face.

I went back to the grocery store to find some medicine. In the pharmacy, I saw her. She was propped up in the corner like some lifeless marionette. I remember falling to my knees and sobbing my eyes out. I didn’t care if anything heard me as I cradled the body. The smell, oh Celestia the smell was abhorrent! And- and the lifeless glassed-over eyes!

It was only when I removed the battered gold-plated helmet that I was filled with a sense of joy! It wasn’t her! It wasn’t my little filly! I felt overjoyed at the death of someone else’s daughter! ~~What in Tartarus is wrong with me…~~ ~~I just-~~ please dear Celestia save my little Marigold!

Please keep her safe!

Please!

Scarlet is coughing now too, I don’t know what to do!

She isn’t getting better

Her fever won’t go down! The medicine… I’m out of medicine! There’s nothing left in the pharmacy- ~~I don’t~~- what do I do Celestia?!?

I-

The hospital! I need to go to the hospital! I don’t have any other choice!