A Vignette of Comedy

by Draxonos135

Rating: everyone
Tags: Applejack, Slice of Life, Alternate Universe, Equestria Girls, Vignette Valencia, Comedy, Big Macintosh, Maud Pie, Human, Anthology, Sunset Shimmer
Length: 1215

I have no words.

Nope, still have no words.

Based on comedy sketches by TomSka and a random YouTube video I found a while ago.

Published 2021-03-07 21:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2021-03-07 21:40:01 UTC

#TheConfession

The trio of Apple Bloom, Big Mac, and a visibly nervous Vignette sat on the couch, the worried woman sandwiched between them.

"Are you ready for this?" Apple Bloom asked.

Vignette proved she had learned something from Applejack: "Not at all."

"It'll be fine." Big Mac said, petting Vignette's head.

Vignette and Big Mac walked upstairs, and entered Applejack's bedroom, where the cowgirl was reading a book.

"Applejack," Big Mac started. "We got somethin' t'-"

"BLEEGH!"

[

]

Vignette cleaned her mouth with a napkin while Big Mac and Apple Bloom sat next to her, rubbing their foreheads.

"I think that went well!" Vignette said cheerfully.

"You threw up and we cleaned it before leaving," Big Mac pointed out.

Vignette waved her hand. "Eh, that's all in the past."

"That was five minutes ago!" Apple Bloom snapped.

"That's a matter of opinion-"

"No, it isn't! Try again!"

Big Mac and Vignette promptly returned to Applejack's room, with the guy entering first.

"Applejack," Big Mac started once more. "We got something to tell you."

Vignette walked in, and then...

*THUD!*

"I tripped, didn't I?" asked an upset Vignette.

"Yeah, you did," Apple Bloom sighed. "Look, how about you take the lead?"

Vignette grimaced as she and Big Mac entered the bedroom a third time.

Vignette spoke... or at least tried to. All that came out of her mouth was gibberish.

After taking a deep breath, she tried again:

"The thing is, Applejack, Big Mac and I-"

And then she took out her phone.

"You know what? I'll just teleport her-"

"Vignette, don't!"

Big Mac and Vignette began wrestling for the phone, equally even while Applejack watched with confusion.

"Mom, Dad! I'm from Equestria!" Vignette proclaimed proudly.

"Wrong!" Big Mac exclaimed, before growing perturbed. "I hope."

And then they kept fighting over the phone, with Vignette making a very convincing argument:

"If she's not here, we can make out!"

"Vignette, stop it!"

"IT DOESN'T HAVE TO BE SO HARD!"

This time, Apple Bloom stood where Vignette used to be. "When two people love each other very much-"

"Where's Vignette?!" Applejack exclaimed.

"Ich liebe es, deinen Bruder wie ein Pferd zu reiten." said Vignette in a mysterious language.

Big Mac sighed. "Try again."

"Applejack-"

Suddenly, another Applejack appeared out of nowhere.

"I'm from the future!" the other Applejack pointed at her counterpart. "Tell me you're together!"

"We're together!" Vignette stated... to Future Applejack.

"You can't even get that right!"

Vignette pulled several poses while pointing at a frustrated Big Mac, culminating in yet another fight for her teleporting phone.

"... I'm really bad at this, aren't I?" Vignette asked.

"Yeah, let's just face it," Apple Bloom frowned. "Applejack's never gonna learn you and Big Mac are an item."

"Oh, that's what we're doing!"

Vignette grabbed Big Mac's hand and bolted upstairs, barging into Applejack's bedroom for the final time as she proclaimed:

"Applejack, I know this might come off as a shock, but I'm dating your brother!"

Applejack paused. "You do know you just told me that, right?"

And then Vignette teleported her with her phone.

"Whoops!"

Author's Note

Fun fact: the original idea for this chapter was for Flash to reveal to Vignette he was dating Sour Sweet, who's her sister on this version.

But as we all know, VigMac is better XD.

#TheHole

Sunset took a sip of her coffee when Vignette walked in.

"Hey, Sunset, have you seen my phone?"

"The one that teleports people?"

"Yeah, that one."

"Pretty sure it fell in the hole."

"What ho-OH MY PRINCESS!"

Loud music played as Vignette and Sunset looked down at a large hole in between them.

For future reference, it went like this:

BWAAH!

"What is that?!"

Sunset glanced at the hole with disinterest. "It's a hole."

"Yeah, I can see that, I mean what's it doing there?!"

"Well, I woke up this morning," Sunset took a big, long sip of her coffee. "... And there was a hole."

"And you did nothing about it?"

"Of course I did: I put a rug over it."

BWAAH!

"The hole ate it."

Vignette scratched her chin. "Maybe we should call the police-"

"Oh, I called them a while ago."

"Well, where are they?"

"In the hole."

BWAAH!

Then, one quick look around revealed a particular absence.

"Where's the president?"

Sunset looked elsewhere.

"Sunset," Vignette narrowed her eyes. "Where's the student council president?!"

"She's at work!" Sunset chirped.

"Oh, okay," Vignette paused. "Where does she work?"

"In the hole."

BWAAAAAAH!

#TheSpelling

"Vignette, this is my sister, Maud Pie! Maud, Vignette! Try to get along, okay!"

Those were literally the only words Pinkie Pie shared between Vignette and the grey-skinned human before she strolled off elsewhere, leaving Vignette alone to try strike up a conversation.

Too bad talking on the phone and talking in real life was very different...

"Okay!" Vignette blurted. "What does Y-E-S spell?"

"Yes." Maud answered instantly.

"And what does E-Y-E-S spell?"

"Yes."

Vignette bit her lips as a couple giggles escaped her mouth, confusing the stone-faced Maud. And once the giggling stopped, Vignette tried again:

"What does E-Y-E-S spell?"

Maud paused in thought... "E yes?"

This time, Vignette couldn't help, she visibly and audibly giggled, clutching her stomach as Maud stared at her awkwardly.

"Is something wrong?"

Vignette kept chuckling for a few seconds, tears forming at the corner of her eyes as she tried it yet again:

"What does Y-E-S spell?"

"Yes."

"And what does E-Y-E-S spe-hehe-ll...?"

Maud looked at her surroundings again, trying to come up with an answer...

"E yes?"

Now Vignette was positively crying and laughing at the same time, giggling like a fool as Maud was lost on how to process this.

"W-Why are you crying?"

Vignette kept laughing for a bit. "What do-hohoho..."

And then a bit more, before she finally regained her composure.

"Okay, try again: what d'hohoes Y-E-S spell?"

"... Yes."

"And whaha, what does Ehe-Y-E-S spe-hehe-ll?"

Maud remained silent in thought, prompting Vignette to laugh out again as she came up with a proper, new answer:

"Eees?"

Vignette began laughing harder.

"E yes?"

And that made her drop to her knees as a curious Pinkie Pie returned. "I can't breath!"

This time, Maud was the one to try again:

"E-Y-E-S.... E yes?"

Pinkie joined the laughter, put a hand on her stomach as she giggled out loud.

"Say it again!" Vignette exclaimed, wiping a tear off her cheek. "What does E-Y-E-S spell?"

Maud was completely silent, unsure of what to do or what was going on besides her sister and her friend laughing out loud at something she couldn't understand.

"Yes?"

The laughter continued.

"What?!"

And it continued, eventually bringing a smile and tears to Maud herself.

"And now I'm smiling and crying, what's going on?"

Some more giggles later, Vignette repeated:

"E-Y-E-S."

"E-"

Vignette laughed out loud, startling Maud. Nevertheless, she shook it off and continued:

"E-Y-E..."

And then, something clicked. Something moved in Maud's mind. Something made her realize not only what was going on, but why Pinkie and Vignette were laughing. Something that made the joke actually clear...

And then she decided to screw with them:

"Ice."

Vignette and Pinkie Pie were on a laughing fit for hours after that.