Internal Conflict

by Milky Way

Rating: everyone
Tags: Dark, Sad, Adventure
Length: 3684

Pinkie is having a fairly normal day, nevermind that she can't remember the day before. But when Applejack arrives at a party dragging her, another her that is, Pinkie is forced to face some of her deepest fears.

Pinkie is having a fairly normal day, nevermind that she can't remember the day before. But when Applejack arrives at a party draging her, another her that is, Pinkie is focred to face some of her deepest fears.

Cover by Romuluzz@dA

Published 1970-01-01 00:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2012-09-05 21:25:46 UTC

The Start

The pink mare bounced over to the huge tree in the middle of town. Of course, the tree was also the library, but for today, she didn't want to check out any books. She just wanted to talk to one of her best friends and have fun. She liked doing this, surprising her friends with a day she sat aside just for them. She had even made sure the Cakes knew she couldn't watch the shop or babysit so she could spend the whole entire day with Twilight Sparkle.

She opened the door and walked in. "Twily, are you home?" The grin on her face never faltered as she looked around the empty lower floor. "Twily?" she called again. She had adopted the nickname Twilight's older brother used. At first, the purple unicorn seemed to not like it, but after a week, she was fine with it.

Pinkie wondered up the stairs to Twilights private quarters and poked her head around the open bedroom door. The pony she was searching for was in bed,  mouth slightly open with a small stream of drool coming out. The pillows were all on the floor, as was the blanket. Twilight was on her stomach, all four legs spread out in a different direction. As Pinkie moved closer she could hear small snores coming from her friend.

I probably shouldn't wake her up, the pink-maned mare thought. She looked over into the corner where Spike's basket normally was, surprised the baby dragon wasn't snoring as well, when she realized he wasn't there.

"Oh no," she breathed, her eyes going wide. Spike was missing. And so was his basket. Pinkie walked out of the room, looking around for a sign of where Spike might have gone. She was just about to check the bathroom when she heard soft hoofsteps behind her.

"Pinkie?" Twilight asked, her voice low from just waking up. "What are you doing here?"

Pinkie grinned. "I thought we could spend the whole day together, just you and me. Oh, it'll be so fun. We'll play games and go on a picnic and I can totally make you breakfast and we'll have cupcakes and maybe-" a purple hoof cut off what she was saying.

"That sounds great, Pinkie, and I would love to. But maybe tomorrow." Twilight removed her hoof from Pinkies mouth to cover her own as she yawned. "I've been working on a new spell, and I should have it  finished today. Can you believe it? I'm making a spell. Months of work."

The pink mare didn't let her disappointment show. On the outside, there were no obvious signs of just how hurt she was to be turned down.  She understood Twilight wasn't doing it to be mean, or even avoid her. One look at the mage would reveal that she had received little rest lately. Dark circles under her eyes, and even the way she held herself, showed that she was truly on the edge of a breakthrough. Pinkie knew that look well. "I guess I'll see you later then," she said cheerfully as she bounced away. "Good luck with your spell." She was almost to the stairs when she remembered the reason she had been snooping. "Oh, where's Spike?"

Twilight paused just outside the bathroom door, a small smile on her face that somehow seemed both happy and sad to Pinkie. "He's in the storage room down the hall. We've been working on clearing it out and making it a room for him, until I can get permission from City Hall to grow a room for him."

"You can grow rooms?" Pinkie's mouth dropped.

Twilight nodded. "Yeah, it's a special spell. Not the one I'm making, obviously. All of the rooms here in the library are grown, though. The tree is still alive." With that, Twilight walked into the bathroom and shut the door. Pinkie made her way down the steps and back to Sugar Cube corner.

Mrs. Cake was surprised when the pink mare walked into the shop. "Pinkie, dear, is everything okay? I thought you were going to be busy all day."

"I did too," she said. Then she flashed Mrs. Cake a huge smile. "Twilight is super busy today though. So if you need me I'll be upstairs planning the twin's half-birthday party." She took the stairs three at a time and walked into her room, closing the door behind her.

She let the smile slip off her face, massaging her cheeks. Sometimes it was a lot of work to be happy Pinkie Pie with a smile for everypony. She wondered just how many actually noticed her smiles, how many really, truly appreciated them. Pinkie looked in her mirror. It was ten in the morning, and already she looked tired. She couldn't even muster a smile for herself.

And of course, there was the party the next day to prepare for. This one was a special party. It was the one-year celebration of when she and the other Elements had defeated Discord.

She sighed, still looking at her reflection. Did anyone even really like the parties. Oh no, that that again. Learned my lesson last time, didn't I? My friends love me. Still, she couldn't get rid of that feeling. Twilight was too busy to hang out today, but she had been the first to R.S.V.P. when the invitations had gone out. Of course, she hadn't told Twilight about her plans for the day, but the sting from before came back.

"Maybe they do like my parties. Maybe they are only my friends for my parties." She looked herself in the eye and shook her head. "No, Pinkie, you know better than that. Your friends love you."

It took another ten minutes of silent contemplation for her to get up and go back downstairs to see how business was doing. Just a few ponies milling about, nothing the Cakes couldn't handle. It looked like it was going to be a slow day.

Pinkie walked back into the kitchen, saying hello to the three ponies in line to buy their sweets, and sat at the table. She could really use a strong drink. It was so early, though, so she wasn't sure if she should. Oh, why not? She walked over to the refrigerator and looked through its contents to find her liquid prize. Triple chocolate chocolate milk. She grinned and found her favorite cup and poured herself some before slowly taking the first drink, letting the sweet, smooth liquid flow in her mouth. Pinkie Pie loved chocolate milk.

After cleaning her cup (least the health inspector show up and see it) Pinkie said goodbye to Mrs. Cake and walked out the door with a huge smile on her face. She would go see Applejack. That pony always took time out for her.

She trotted toward Sweet Apple Acres, humming tunelessly to herself. She was on a bare stretch that let her know she was nearly there when she heard a moan from the woods on the side of the road. "Hello?" she called. No one answered. She took another step when she heard it again. "Do you need help?" Another low moan this time.

Pinkie looked around, but there was no one nearby to help, not even a Pegasus in the sky. Sweet Apple Acres was still a good five minutes down the road, town about the same the other way. Her heart was racing, but she knew she had to at least check and see what kind of help whoever was in there needed.

She hesitantly stepped into the wood, listening closely for another hint at where this pony might be. She didn't have to wait long, as another moan reached her ears. It was to her right, seemingly just behind a fallen log.  Pinkie galloped over to it as quickly as the thin underbrush would let her, and stopped just short of the log. She could see a pony's hoof sticking out from one side of the log, the rest of the pony from the other.

She jumped the log and walked around to see if the pony was conscious. She knew this pony was new to Ponyville. He had a coat as black as night, with a striking white mane. He answered her, though, blinking up into her face. "I'm stuck. Been here since last night." His grey eyes looked straight into hers, causing her to gasp. For a second, it had felt as if the pony had seen every fear she had. Not the silly ones like what would happen if she decided to put icing on the inside of a cake, but the real ones she had been thinking that morning.

"The log doesn't look to heavy, maybe I can help you." She walked over to the end of the tree that was in the air and tried to lift it. It was extremely heavy, but after a few minutes, she managed to raise it up off the stranger's hind leg. He scooted forward a few inches before Pinkie dropped the log. Panting for breath, she walked back over to him. "Can you…can you stand?"

Slowly, he rose to all fours. "Yeah, it's okay. A deep bruise, but nothing worse." He looked at Pinkie for a moment. "For helping me, I shall help you in return. You shall find your fears are for naught, only once yourself you've caught. But simply catching is not enough, but acceptance, though it'll be rough."

Pinkie wasn't sure what to say to that. She was about to ask when suddenly her world started spinning. "Wha?" she managed before she hit the ground.

--

Pinkie blinked and looked around. She was in her bed at Sugar Cube Corner. The last thing she remembered was going to see Applejack and freeing that strange pony…maybe that had all been a dream, though.

She hopped out of bed and grinned at her reflection. Today was a great day. She had a party with her friends, and the Cakes were making a special cake free for her, and the party was going to be downstairs in just eight hours. She ran through her morning ritual, making sure to feed Gummy before she went downstairs.

She beamed at Mrs. and Mr. Cake, who smiled right back at her. "You slept for a very long time," Mr. Cake said. "Maybe you shouldn't stay out so late next time."

Pinkie was confused by that comment, but since she didn't remember what had happened yesterday, she didn't say anything. She helped the Cakes with what was a very busy day for the sweet shop, and then began decorating for the party. It only took an hour to get everything set up. She still had twenty minutes left before the party started, but her friends were always early.

Twilight was the first to arrive, as always. Pinkie grinned when the purple unicorn walked in, enveloping her in a huge hug. "Hey Pinkie," Twilight said, returning the hug. "I'm really sorry about yesterday."

"Oh, that's okay Twilight." Pinkie still had no clue what had happened the day before. Pretty soon everyone but Applejack had shown up. Everypony talked while waiting for the sixth guest of honor to arrive.

Everyone turned to look when the knock came. There was, of course, only one pony it could be. So when Pinkie threw open the door, Rarity was so shocked she forgot to pretend to faint, Fluttershy squeaked and hid behind Rainbow Dash, who was standing with her mouth hanging open. Twilight simply looked between Pinkie, Applejack, and the other Pinkie Applejack was dragging into the room, unaware the other Pinkie had opened the door.

Of course, once she looked up, she realized. Pinkie simply stared at herself. Of course, this self was slightly different. The hair was straight, her face looked like she had never smiled, and she glared at everypony.

Finally, Twilight spoke up. "Pinkie, what's going on?"

The Middle

"Finally have time for me, Twilight, since I've managed to become interesting." Twilight shrank back from the straight haired Pinkie.

"Don't talk to my best friend like that!" The curly haired Pinkie confronted herself, nose to nose.

The straight haired Pinkie chuckled. "You think she's your best friend. Really? After she just blew you off yesterday."

"She didn't just blow me off, she was working. I understood that." Both Pinkie's eyes narrowed at one another.

"Umm…Pinkie?" Twilight said as she walked up to the pair.

Both pink mare's turned to look at her. "What?"

"Okay, so we need a way to tell ya'll apart when talkin' to ya." Applejack interrupted whatever Twilight was about to say. "Maybe one of you could go by Pinkamena, your real name?"

The two Pinkie's looked at Applejack. The look was unsetteling to the farm pony, but she stood her ground. The straight haired Pinkie was the first to speak. "Fine, I will."

Twilight looked between the two pink mares. "Pinkie, Pinkamena, how did this happen?"

Pinkie spoke first. "Well, after I left your house yesterday, I went home before deciding to visit AJ. On the way there, I heard moaning in the Whitetail Woods so I went to see if I could help. There was this stallion stuck under a fallen tree, so I helped him out and he said he would help me and did the funny rhyme speak like Zecora and then I woke up in my bed this morning!" Pinkie smiled.

"What about you, Pinkamena?" Twilight smiled at the pink pony, but Pinkamena's face remained emotionless. "Same for me, except I woke up at Sweet Apple Acres." Twilight looked between the two. "What did the stallion say?"

" You shall find your fears are for naught, only once yourself you've caught. But simply catching is not enough, but acceptance, though it'll be rough." Pinkie beamed after telling Twilight. "I thought it was funny, but I didn't really understand.

Everyone was silent for a moment. "What are you afraid of, Pinkie? Pinkamena?" Fluttershy asked, looking at her friend. Friends. The two Pinkies.

"I'm not afraid of anything," Pinkie said happily. "I have the bestest friends in the world, what is there to be afraid of?"

"How about what you thought of yesterday?" Pinkamena asked Pinkie.

Pinkie shook her head. "I was being a silly-filly."

"You didn't think that yesterday. In fact, you thought the same thing I said to Twilight."

"Twily is my best friend. You leave her alone." Again, the two pink mare's had their noses pressed against each other. "You don't know anything about her."

"I don't know that she blew you off? I don't know that you're getting sick of feeling like the only time ponies like you is when you throw parties? I am you, I know everything. I know how you want to stop smiling all the time, I know what you think of at night when nopony else is around." Pinkamena's voice was low, but sharp.

Pinkie seemed on the verge of tears. "That isn't true. My friends..my friends…" She swallowed. "Everypony is my friend."

Pinkamena snorted. "Right. You annoy everypony with how you're always rambling about something. Fluttershy was right. You are the most frivolous pony in Equestira. At least Rarity is doing something useful. What do you do? Throw parties everypony forgets in a week."

Pinkie shook her head. "You're wrong! My parties…I…" She couldn't come up with anything to say back. It was true, she had known it for a while. She was nothing but a silly foal that ponies just put up with. She sat on the floor, looking down. "You're just wrong."

Twilight walked over and wrapped her hooves around Pinkie, throwing a glare at Pinkamena. "How could you say something like that to Pinkie?" Twilight held the party pony close, stroking her mane."

Pinkamena looked at the site before her. "You don't understand, do you. I am her. And I don't need your pity. I understand just exactly how you all feel about me. If I wasn't one of those stupid Elements, you wouldn't want anything to do with me."

"No wait a gosh darn second." Applejack walked up to Pinkamena, looking her dead in the eye. "We all love Pinkie. Sure, you can be silly sometimes, but so what? Ah'm stubborn, Rarity is conceited," Applejack ignored the small "Hey!" Rarity said, "and everypony has something like that about them. Twi is a neat freak. You can go overboard in the fun department, but that's okay, Pinks."

Pinkamena looked over at Pinkie and Twilight, who were ignoring everything but their private bubble. Twilight seemed to be singing something to the curly maned pony as she held her close. Pinkamena walked closer, reciving a wary look from Twilight. "Why are you doing that?"

Twilight looked up, right into Pinkamena's eyes. She could see her Pinkie in them, just as she could in the eyes of the mare she was holding. "Because, Pinkie," Twilight said, letting go of the curly maned mare. "It's like you said earlier. You're my best friend." Twilight wrapped her hooves around the pink pony's neck. Pinkamena didn't move, but Twilight felt something wet fall onto her  coat.

After Twilight released her, Pinkamena walked over to where Pinkie was now standing with the rest of her friends. "I don't want to be alone anymore," Pinkamena said.

"Me either," Pinkie replied. The two Pinkie's hugged each other, holding tight. A bright light slowly grew around them, getting brighter and brighter until the other five ponies in the room had to shield their eyes. When the light died and everypony could see again, there was only one curly haired Pinkie standing where the two had been.

"You don't really believe all that stuff, do you, Pinkie?" Rainbow Dash asked. "About us only liking you for your parties?"

When she didn't reply, that was answer enough. "Pinkie," Twilight spoke up again. "You were the first pony I met when I came to Ponyville. You threw me a party and you didn't even know me. Sure, maybe I was able to actually talk to the others first, but you're still my first real friend. Maybe you make me crazy sometimes, but that's me. I have to have logic to explain everything." Twilight embraced the pink pony. "I love you."

Everypony followed Twilight's lead, telling Pinkie how much she really meant to them and wrapping her in a huge group hug. For once, she ignored the thoughts trying to float to the top of her head. For once, she let herself believe she was truly loved.

The End

"And that was the creature you freed. It could have escaped on its own, but they like to test the ponies they think need help the most, to see if they are worth."

Pinkie was laying on the couch in the library while Twilight sat in a chair and read from a book, explaining what had happened. After a small silence, Twilight spoke again. "Pinkie, I know it's been a week, but I'm really sorry that I hurt your feelings that morning."

"It's okay, Twily." Pinkie replied.

Twilight looked at the pink mare. She was just laying on the couch, not bouncing or jumping around or anything like that. "Are you okay? You know I want you to tell me whenever you feel like Pinkamena again."

Pinkie bit her lip as she sat up. "I know, but I feel like that all the time. Well, I used to. But those thoughts still come up everyday." Twilight crossed the room and sat next to Pinkie. "I know you girls are my best friends, but what happens if you mean more to me than I do to you?" Pinkie looked down.

Twilight put her hoof under Pinkie's chin and made the pink pony face her. "That will never happen." A smile graced Twilights lips as the party pony broke out into one of her signature grins and squeezed Twilight into a hug so tight she couldn't breathe.

"There was one thing that bothered me that Pinkamena said that I don't think the others picked up on." Pinkie's smile faded, but she didn't say anything. "Pinkie, please don't ever hurt yourself."

Pinkie blinked. "I couldn't," she said  simply. They sat in silence for a while. For Twilight, it was a new experience. Pinkie not constantly grinning or moving around or rambling about something. She was worried about her friend, but she thought that maybe, just maybe, this was how Pinkie really was. "My face doesn't hurt anymore when I go to bed at night. I used to think if I didn't smile all the time, no pony would like me."

"You do still smile all the time," Twilight told her. "You're smiling now."

"Yeah, but it's not the kind that makes my cheeks hurt after a couple hours." Pinkie leaned against Twilight. "I really just want to thank you, Twily. I don't know exactly what Pinkamena said, but when you were holding me and singing…why did you sing that song?"

Twilight looked Pinkie right in the eye. "Because I wanted you to remember that even though sometimes what other people think can be scary, it shouldn't be. Especially between friends as close as us. And that was the first time I really admired you for being you."

They sat on the couch a few minutes more before the library door opened and Spike walked in laughing. "Have fun?" Twilight asked.

"Yeah! Scootaloo decided we should go cliff diving—"

"What?" Twilight was on her feet in an instant.

"We didn't, don't worry. Instead we played truth or dare in the clubhouse." Spike smiled.

Twilight sat back down as Spike walked up the stairs to his bedroom. "You know, Pinkie, I think tomorrow would be a great day for just me and you to hang out."

The party pony's signature grin was back. "Really Twily? Oh this is going to be so much fun." She started hopping around, telling Twilight exactly what they would be doing. Twilight just chuckled and smiled.

She couldn't wait to spend the day with her best friend.