Snickers: On the Road

Snickers led Diamond Tiara back to the door and noticed not only writing on the door he couldn’t read, but a crude drawing of a smiling pony with an erection above their heads at adult height. He glanced back to Diamond and then motioned to the words and picture. Diamond blushed and looked at Snickers in the eyes. “I’m so sorry, Snickers. This isn’t a spa, it’s a massage parlour.”

“What’s the difference?” Snickers asked as he pushed the door open and held it for Diamond to walk in ahead of him.

Diamond took a seat on a slightly damp cushion that Silver had used previously and waited for Snickers to take his seat. “It’s a place where ponies go and pay to orgasm.”

Snickers snickered. “You pay for that? And why didn’t you warn me before?”

Diamond sighed. “I didn’t see the picture and I can’t read the writing here. It’s a different place and only adults are supposed to go to places like this.”

“You think they’d have told us?” Snickers questioned.

Winder piped in, brush strokes not slowing across Silver Spoon’s back. “Not when I could collect a good set of coin from a colt’s seed. You aren’t from about these parts, are ya, lads?”

“We’re from Equestria, to the east.” Diamond answered.

Winder hummed. “That closed off nation full of… well, anyway, this town has one thing about it that you should know about.”

“What’s that?” Snickers asked.

“If it can be bought, anypony can pay with their bodies. We use currency, sure. Gold and silver are the usual, but if you little ladies lift your tails for the right ponies; you can get a good discount anywhere in town.”

Silver whimpered and clamped her tail to the mat. “You keep your hooves away from my special place, okay?”

Diamond coughed into her hoof. “I think we’ll pay with gold as soon as Silver Spoon is done. What happened with me was embarrassing enough… I’m sorry, Snickers, for having you see that.”

“Not a problem, I quite enjoyed it, darling. Why, if I wasn’t interrupted, you might have seen something special, too.” Snickers said.

Diamond smirked. “From rubbing your side? You do know that she’d have to rub your penis for you to get there, right?”

Snickers nodded. “I’m sure she was on the way to that before you came in and ruined it.”

Winder winked at the colt. “Thirty seconds is the record I have fer making a stallion last; colts are just good practice. Earthy there collects the male seed in her jars for resale, but we’re out of stock right now. Slow week and all.”

Earthy leaned over and pulled a long jar with a cork from behind a short table and set it on her lap. “Yup, reckon it’s good fer a lotta things, if a pony’s adventurous enough.”

Snickers stared at the jar for a couple seconds, then remembered why he had returned when there was another bang in the distance. “Oh, yeah. Trixie is putting on a show and we should find the others. I lost Kiwe for sure… he might like this place, but there’s also Gil and Cress we need to locate.”

Diamond shrugged. “Whatever, as soon as we’re done here they’ll be in the crowd as a group, I bet. How much longer?”

Winder smirked. “About ten minutes. He was just getting started when ya stopped us and you, little mare, went right fer the ending as soon as I got near yer tail. A proper grooming takes time… but since yer new to town I’ll only charge ya five bits each, and let you know where the mane stylist is. I don’t do manes or hooves.”

Silver relaxed and rolled to her side at the mares prodding. “Whatever, just don’t get fresh with me, I only need one stallion and mare to touch me, them.” She said, nodding to her herdmates.

The next few minutes passed quickly and ponies began to file to the town hall area to watch Trixie’s show, growing the curiosity and excitement between the foals. Once Silver was done she shook herself by instinct, Diamond paid, and the herd rushed from the shop back the way they’d come.

Trixie’s voice was clearly audible now, being projected magically across the area. Cress landed sharply in front of Snickers and leaned close to him, glaring. “You were supposed to stay in the open, not run off. How can I research the lost son of the Princess when you’re--?”

“And thus, the great and Powerful Trixie defeated the Ursa Minor and saved the town of Ponyville from its ravages!” Trixie’s voice overpowered Cress’s and the crowd’s cheering stopped any further discussion between the foals.

Snickers pushed past the bat pony filly, followed by his fillies, and went into the crowd. He found Kiwe at a vendor and poked his friend with his forehood to the unicorn’s shoulder. “Hey, what’cha buying?”

“Fish sticks. Did you think they had them here, too?” Kiwe answered as he swapped two bits for a small bag of breaded fish sticks. “Would you care for some, my brother?”

Snickers nodded and opened his mouth, allowing half a piece to be placed on his tongue before he bit down. “Mmm, that’s good.”

Silver moved up and opened her mouth and got a piece, humming in thought as she chewed it. “Not bad. I Need sauce, though.”

Kiwe popped a whole one into his mouth and chewed, nodding in agreement. “We get what we get, though. I am more interested in the show, though. Did you think Trixie was so lively?”

Snickers looked at the freakish mare on stage and then focused, allowing the illusion to fool him. She was pulling a stallion onto stage at the moment while shuffling cards in her magic. “I dunno, just got here. Let’s see what she does next.”

Snickers felt himself laughing with the crowd as the show went on through the next half hour before he saw a griffon flying over the stage Trixie had taken over. He looked between his friends and then glanced at the flier again. He sighed and got up, the others barely noticing his motion until he turned away from the show and began walking towards the back. Cress was right behind him, followed by Diamond and Silver Spoon, lastly trailed by Kiwe.

Trixie’s show was still going strong when the group left the town square and had space to talk. “So, where’d Gil go?”

The others were silent for several seconds before they all began to shrug at Snickers’s question.

“No one’s concerned that our friend is missing?” Snickers asked, facing the others.

“He’s not exactly vulnerable; he’s a griffin. He has talons and a beak.” Cress stated.

“He’s also got Kiwe’s baby!” Snickers snapped. And Kiwe’s eyes widened. “We’re not the best of friends, but we’re still traveling together and we should keep tabs on each other. I’m not gonna say split up, because that’s what causes problems, but we gotta find him before something happens.”

“Like what?” Silver asked. “He can take care of himself and he can fly.”

“Like being attacked for being different in a new city, or leaving us to go ahead to the next town…”

Diamond raised a foreleg. “What if he’s just being massaged like you were earlier? All we have to do is stay calm and look around, we’ll find him in no time.”

“We could ask Trixie to put out a message.” Kiwe offered.

“Her show’s not gonna stop for us, she’ll probably pull us into it.” Silver noted.

“So, then we’re left with the option of look around until we find him.” Snickers said.

“Why not just watch the show and wait for him to pop back up, it’s only been about an hour, how much trouble could he get into?” Cress supplied.

The other looked between one another before looking back to Snickers for a decision. “Let’s start from where we last saw him.”

“So, back at the entrance to town?” Kiwe asked.

The remainder of Trixie’s show was missed by the group as they went through the market, purchasing some snacks that weren’t alfalfa based to break from the trail snacks they had been eating for the past few days. They stayed in a loose formation looking at different items being sold from trinkets to decorate a home to hoof or horn stitched clothing. Asking about their missing friend didn’t yield any results, though.

“This place is kind of like Ponyville,” Diamond finally said to Snickers.

“Yeah, if you don’t take the obsession with sex into account,” he replied, “not that I can’t say sex wasn’t common there too… just not as in your face.”

Diamond nodded. “Yeah, but you’d never have to worry about sleeping alone if you were an adult, there’s always a mare with a bed for a lonely stallion back home.”

“That’s kinda gross, but maybe that’s just me,” Snickers admitted.

Diamond snorted. “Gross or not, no stallion has to sleep in the streets in Equestria.”

“The gender inequality is staggering,” Snickers mumbled. “Let’s just go to the shops, the market doesn’t seem to know anything about Gil.”

Silver took the lead and led them back to the massage parlor and they ventured past the two mares idly talking in the shop to other businesses. A clothing shop that catered to mares caught the female’s attention while a soda shop caught the boy’s. They decided to put their search on hold to get some fizzy delights and were surprised to find their missing member sipping on a nearly frozen treat with two mares at a booth.

“So, there I was, facing a manticore with my fellow hunters back home in Gryphonia when there was a sudden--” Gil’s sight caught the group before they could announce themselves and he waved them away. “I’m fine, worry about yourselves.”

“How rude,” Silver said, “we spent the last hour looking for you and you’ve been in here with these two?”

Gil clicked his beak. “Well, mom, you found me, so go back to playing house and let me talk with my friends about how awesome I am.”

“Don’t you give her attitude, Gil,” Diamond started, but was stopped by a hoof on her shoulder. She looked aside to see Cress shaking her head.

“If he wants to hang out he can, but he should know for next time to let somepony know where he’s going so we don’t all have to stop what we’re doing to find him.” Cress said.

“Whatever, batty, I’ll put it on my list of things to do. At the bottom.” Gil snarked back.

Kiwe looked the gryphon over before nodding. “He carries the child like a doting mother, let’s leave him alone, we’re being a bother.”

Snickers sighed. “That was a stretch and you know it,” he told the unicorn, “but you’re right. Gil, have fun, I’m here for a soda. Who’d have thought they had soda out here?”

“Who cares? It’s a taste of home on a long trip, I hope they have what I like,” Diamond piped in. She rushed to the counter and looked at the menu. “Oh, right… new language.”

Silver stepped up and cocked her head. “I can read them just fine. I’m not inclined to try bug smoothies or shakes, but they have sarsaparilla, want me to order you one, Diamond?”

“How can you read that? It’s not Ponish.” Diamond asked loudly.

Silver tapped her necklace. “Must be one of the enchantments on this thing. Doesn’t your tiara have something like it?”

Diamond stuck out her tongue and looked up to her tiara, but nothing happened. “I guess not. At least Snickers can’t read that stuff, right?”

Snickers shook his head. “Now that we have Silver, we don’t have to worry about it.” Snickers said, avoiding the fact he could read some of it. But the pictures helped. “No bugs or anything gross for me, thanks.”

“Got it, hun,” Silver said, nuzzling the colt suddenly before she turned to order for them all.

“I’ll take some crickets, if they have them,” Cress chimed in before Silver started.

“Okay, I’ll see what I can do.”