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"Good afternoon everyone."

The friendly, welcoming voice cut the chatter of the room down like a scythe through grass, and all eyes in the room turned to its owner. Even with the casual warmth, there was still an expectant authority in its tone, and the orange stallion who stood before them didn't need the suit or tie he was wearing to indicate his importance.

"If you could all settle down, we can get started on this induction course, and your burning questions will at long last be answered, probably," he continued, casting a steady across across the sea of faces. "Any specific questions will have to be saved for later, and please be aware that certain information might require clearance you simply don't posses. If you do a good job, you'll be able to climb the ranks and gain the clearance necessary to discover whatever it is that interests you. First, let's start with introductions." He gestured to himself with a hoof. "My name is Tail Blaze, and I'm the Site Director."

Everyone sat a little straighter at that detail. They always became more attentive when he dropped his job title.

"What that means in practice is that I'm responsible for this facility, the surrounding area; the equipment, resources, samples, and materials stored here, the inflow and outflow of personnel, materials, and data; the safe conduct of staff in running tests and recording results, and the general wellbeing of everyone in the site's vicinity. In summary, I'm ultimately responsible for everything here, and I'm the most senior member of staff within a few hundred miles. The only creatures I have to answer to are the Overseers, but that's a story for another day. Most of you already know me."

There would've been a murmur and a series of mutterings if it weren't for the setting. Instead, the attendees glanced at one another, moving as much as they dared. The stallion was used to it.

"I'm seeing a lot of confused faces, and that isn't surprising. After all, you've never actually met me before today, and I'm sure you've never heard my actual name before. So who is this strange pegasus standing before you, claiming you know him? That's easier to answer if I try another name - Drop It Like It's Clop." He allowed himself a smirk as a wave of hushed voices rose inside the lecture hall, the etiquette of the room disrupted by the revelation. Some were shocked, some were incredulous, but all of them knew that name.

"There's the recognition," he appraised, chuckling to himself. "Most of you, if not all of you, will know the psuedonym, probably because most of you have read the material that anonymous author creates and publishes. In fact, I'm willing to bet that reading through some of those salacious stories is what prompted you to look further into who the author was, and that led you to being contacted by the Foundation. That's by design, I assure you.

"What does anonymous and disreputable smut have to do with me and this organisation? That starts with what and where we are. You'll have noticed that from when you were first contacted until now, there have been procedures and protocols and armed escorts and all forms of ways to ensure there was a layer of secrecy, preventing any unwanted information from being leaked to creatures not involved in the process.

"I'd like to remind all of you before we go any further that being here, in this room, is a privilege, and one you've earned because you've acted appropriately and displayed the qualities we expect. Your presence here is us extending our trust to you, and expecting you to afford us the respect of discretion. You are not to share anything you learn here with anyone not authorised to hear it, and when in doubt, remain quiet. Not a word of what you're about to hear is to reach anyone you don't know with 100% certainty is already privy to it. Understood?"

There was a moment's silence before a chorus of yeses and other confirmatory sounds bubbled from the audience, each of them eager to prove their worthiness.

"Good," he continued, nodding to a technician in the back. With a click, a board at the front of the room was illuminated, a symbol cast onto the wall from the projector, arrows pointing towards a lock. "Each and every one of you is a prospective employee of the ESCP Foundation." There was a momentary silence, and then chuckles and giggles broke out from the assembled audience. "I can tell you don't believe me, and that's understandable. But isn't the ESCP Foundation a fictional story about supernatural monsters? Yes, that's certainly the case. I'm sure you've found plenty of stories sharing that name, which make mention of horrific beasts which do horrific things. I'm sure if you search the title, you'll come across plenty of stories to varying degrees of quality about such a thing. These are all decoys. Distractions. Diversions. What better way to retain secrecy is there than to present the truth with a straight face and an apathetic response to those who insist it's all true? Nothing works better as a smokescreen than the rambling, screaming insistence of people who determine that a work of fiction isn't fiction. What are they going to cite as their source? The fiction itself? Every time that happens, they're dismissed as conspiracy theorists. That's why we allow - and even encourage - such stories to exist and be written; it dilutes the reliability of suggestions that we do in fact exist.

"You might be pleased to hear that you won't be working with things that will try to eat you. We've taken several liberties with how we're presented in stories to throw off any prospective enthusiasts who wish to expose us to the world, because that way, when people realise the stories don't add up to reality, they're far more willing to dismiss the idea of the Foundation existing at all. Finding the right balance of truth and falsehood and weaving a convincing narrative in which the two are inextricably tied is the best way to cover our tracks, we find. That's why the stories I myself put out are written they way they are, being just believable enough to take seriously, while containing ridiculous concepts which test the mind of those who read them. The creatures who follow the trail are the ones who are determined, smart, and who we'd rather have on our side.

So what is the Foundation in reality? What will you be working with, if not monstrous, ethereal horrors from beyond time and space? We're referred to by many names today, but we were formed under the name of the Equestrian Sexual Containment Project. Yes, you heard that right. What else were you expecting when the trail which led you here quite literally began with porn? We don't deal with killers, cosmic entities, and monsters from cheap horror films. Instead, we deal with the unknown or poorly understood facets of reality pertaining to destructive or undesirable carnal activities. We ensure that whatever damage could be done, isn't.

"I doubt you're quite sold on the importance of securing and containing sexual threats just yet. After all, what about the other threats out there? Threats to life and safety? Valid concerns, to be sure, but we're not equipped to deal with those. For issues surrounding hostile takeovers, conquests, wars, and power-hungry monsters, we have various individuals, groups, and resources to throw at them; the Elements of Harmony, the EUP Guard, and S.M.I.L.E., just to name a few. What use would we be against a manticore, or a hydra, or an army of dragur? We'd be no more use than all the organisations which already exist to combat them, and having a separate organisation when we could merely join those which already exist would be a diversion of resources for the purpose of striving towards the same goal. No - we don't need another agency dedicated to holding back physical threats.

"Sexual threats, however, is our field of expertise. Not only do we have decades of experience, something which no other agency can boast, but we're the only ones actively dedicated to this cause. If not us, then who? The question which usually follows is are sexual threats significant enough to warrant an agency to fight them? Raise your hoof-" He spied a number of griffons in the audience, and amended his sentence. "-or claw-" And there were some other creatures. "-or equivilent if you were having that thought." A number of appendages hesitantly rose into the air, totalling a vast majority of the audience. "Not an insignificant amount, I see. Let's put it this way; why do we have laws? Because we want to establish a particular social norm and prevent bad things from happening. We punish those who commit sexual misconduct because it's not right. We don't accept it as the way by which our society should operate. So why not the same for objects, entitites, and phenomena which breach our understanding of what's desirable or normal? Why should we surrender our way of life because of threats which seek to move against our interests, regardless of their nature?

"Imagine how different the world would be if an entire species were irrevocably altered against their will because an entity desired it, or how many would suffer if a maurauding creature were allowed to stalk its prey without any intervention because no one took the situation seriously? We live in a world where emotions and intentions carry weight, where magic is based around feeling and willpower, and yet lust is somehow exempt from that? Does Equestria or anywhere in the world seem excessively lustful to you? There are threats out there which carry the potential to turn our world on its head, and it's our job to confront them. Choose whichever acronym you prefer - Secure Contain Protect, Stop Constrain Prevent, Seduce Corral Placate - it's up to us to find anomalous sexual threats in the world, neutralise, mitigate, or capture them, and prevent them from harming any innocent bystander, or being used by the unscrupulous against the unwary. How many of you still believe that there's no need to keep tabs on sexual threats?"

The number of appendages raised was easily within the single digits this time, and most of them belonged to incredulous faces. There were always some skeptics, regardless of what he told them. They'd probably end up amnestised later. "A lot fewer of you. I thought that'd be the case, and I'm glad to hear it, because I'm obliged to give you a basic rundown on how we classify things here before you leave, and maybe once I explain a small scope of what we're dealing with, the remainder will be convinced.

"Let's start with the basics; the anomalous sexual elements out in the world. To nocreature's surprise, I'm sure, we label these anomalies "ESCP's", because they require Special Containment Procedures due to their anomalous nature and our interest in keeping them away from wider society. Each ESCP is designated a number, and can have subdivisions to it depending on its exact nature. An ESCP is a object, entity, or phenomenon with anomalous sexual properties. An anomalous property is something which doesn't conform to the way the world ought to work by the rules we currently understand. With me so far?

"To keep track of all the ESCP's under our care, as well as the research undertaken into them for a variety of purposes, we have an extensive filing system and categories under which principal traits are sorted, to better help us understand what we're dealing with." He nodded to the technician again, and the Foundation logo cast on the wall was replaced by a mock case file, replete with the standard lorem ipsum and the title ESCP-XXXX. Of all the files they had, this was the one Tail had probably spent the most time reading. He was proud of it, knowing that he had kept multitudes of recruits safe by preparing it. Pulling out a pointer from under his wing, he snapped it open, causing the sitting students to flinch. Tapping it to the wall, he gestured to the various parts of the mock file he wanted to show.

"Let's run down what you can expect to find inside, and what it all means. You needn't worry about the specific labelling for incidents, events, and so on; they're self-explantory in most cases, and it'll become clear as you work with the files. In short, a number or letter, or both, is added onto the end of the ESCP designation to mark it as another subsection of that ESCP's qualities or notable details surrounding the ESCP.

"The first part of the file you'll come across after the ESCP designation - its catalogued number and accompanying name - and the first that's it's extremely important you thoroughly understand is the containment classification. There are three categories - Sun, Earth, and Moon - which describe how difficult it is to contain or control an ESCP relative to our desire to do so. An ESCP which would be hard to contain but which we are not pursuing for one reason or another will receive a low containment classification. One which we are containing through great effort will receive a high containment classifcation. This is cursory information which ought to frame the rest of the file for you.

The lowest designation, Sun, is used for ESCP's which require minimum resources and/or effort to contain. This includes ESCP's we are content to just monitor from afar, or which we allow to exist without interference. It is, in essence, the ESCP's which can exist in the open sunlight. The second designation, Earth, are the ESCP's that require direct intervention to control or contain, and which may prove difficult or adaptive in efforts to do so. Think of these ESCP's as grounded birds, which can still cause difficulty when brought to earth, and which will attempt to return to their natural habitat but for intervention to prevent such. The final category, Moon, derives its name from the unfortunate necessity of banishing of Princess Luna to the moon, and the shifting, incorporeal nature of shadows at night. It is reserved for ESCP's which are reliably difficult to contain, and which require significant resources, effort, vigilance, and complex or perpetually adaptive plans to obtain.

"Below the containment class, you'll see the anomaly traits, which gives a basic rundown of the ESCP in question. You'll often come across things like 'Sentient', 'Inanimate', and 'Cognitohazard'. Most of them are pretty self-explanatory - sentience is just responsive to natural inclination and basic stimuli, and inanimate is lacking independent autonomy, agency, or consciousness - but there are some you'll need to familiarise yourself with. The one I just said, 'cognitohazard', is one you're going to want to learn quickly. In short, it's something that poses a threat to you if it's sensed, usually through sight, though each threat is specific. Don't make assumptions, and read the file carefully. The devil's in the details.

"The Special Containment Procedures explain in depth the requirements necessary for containing, sustaining, encountering, and otherwise dealing with the ESCP, including appropriate conduct. These parameters will be tailored to the ESCP's individual qualities, traits, and anomalous properties, and so will be as varied as you can possibly imagine, accounting for just about anything we could possibly have to deal with. It's important to read through this section thoroughly to make sure you know what to do and what not to do when encountering the ESCP.

"The next standard section is the description, which provides an exhaustive account of the ESCP's definition, including its dimensions, behaviours, properties, reactions, history, and more. Beyond this section, the file can consist of anything deemed relevant and important to the ESCP's identification, including but not limited to; transcripts, incident logs, photographs, sketches, research notes, reports, and written excerpts. This is the meat of the file, and will clarify what is currently understood about it."

With a practiced swing, he folded the pointer and tucked it under his wing once again. The projector turned off at his unspoken signal. Turning back to the attentive group, he spent a couple of moments eyeing them up. A few looked bemused, but most were paying rapt attention. A few were even taking notes. It was good to see young and enthusiastic talent.

"That was all rather dry, wasn't it?" he asked, smiling at them. "It was all necessary, I assure you, but I'm done boring you, and you'll have plenty of time to learn it on your own. It's your safety on the line, after all. You'll receive further instruction and training on our procedures and protocols in a dedicated seminar. In all likelihood, some of you will be writing parts to ESCP files in the future, and perhaps entire new containment procedures will be drawn up by your hoof, or claw, or whichever appendage you use to write." There was some laughter, and he chuckled to himself in turn. Most of them were in. The fewer amnestitisations, the better, and today had been a particuarly good haul.

"Well, that's enough from me. I'll leave you in the capable hands of the staff to discuss more specific matters and to determine your career here at the site. I expect I'll see most of you around the facility at some point, and I look forward to working with you, be it as security personnel, researchers, field agents, or any other indispensible cog in our great machine. What we do here makes a difference to the world in a thousand different ways each day, and you'll be integral in ensuring we continue to succeed." Stepping aside, he allowed another member of the staff to come forward, this one dressed in the familiar garb of a senior researcher. With a last nod to the prospective employees, he straightened his tie and addressed them one final time before he went about his busy day.

"Welcome to The Foundation."