Paladin of Equestria: Second Circle

by nameundetermined

Rating: mature
Tags: Adventure, Princess Celestia, Human, Main 6, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Spike, Comedy
Length: 3849

A human is summoned to Equestria to serve as the Champion of the latest princess on the block. Takes place immediately after the Twilicorn happening.

Pete Phillips is a fairly plain, boring fellow by any and all accounts. Sadly for him, the events that are about to begin befalling him are anything but boring. In fact, you could say that they may even be quite...interesting times.

Being a Paladin ain't easy, but hey, it's honest work. Pay is good at least.

A commission for yakopak

Published 2021-03-11 22:20:01 UTC
Last updated 2021-06-23 03:45:52 UTC

Chapter One

Author's Note

Alright, I promised myself I would take an honest crack at this. A commission is a commission after all. First chapter is pretty boring and I apologize, but I needed to shake the cobwebs off and get into the same sort of mindspace I was when I wrote the first attempt way back in the day, things should pick up in the next chapter.

Chapter One

All other things considered, the situation could be worse for Pete Phillips. He could be dead or severely injured, which, thankfully, he was not. But one thing that he certainly was, and quite severely, was confused.

He was confused because, instead of blowing out the candles on his twenty-first birthday cake, as if he had been a scant few moments ago, he seemed to find himself...falling? It certainly felt like falling, though that may not be the best word to describe the sensation. Being pulled is more like it. All of his senses save for touch seem to have been stripped of him, and he felt as though he were being pulled towards….something.

The pulling slowly got faster, and he slowly became more cognizant of the fact that he could not see, hear...breathe.

There was a growing tightness in his seemingly nonexistent chest, he desperately attempted to grasp at himself with hands that were not there, and despite the ever-growing urge to scream, alas, he had no mouth to speak of.

And just as the sensations of helplessness and motion became too much to bear, whatever had a hold on him released him once more.

The first thing he was able to perceive was the harness of cold dirt beneath him, followed by screaming, very loud, violently scared screaming.

Oh wait, that was him, he was screaming. He almost forgot he had really needed to scream for a second there. As soon as he had a handle on that he quieted himself down to soft, shaken whimpers, sitting up slowly, still blinded for the moment, vision swimming and utterly distorted and quite dim.

Sadly as his screams stopped he was able to hear the terrified screams of several other people now, all female sounding aside from maybe one. He covered his ears and grimaced.

“O-oh fuck, this is so totally bogus…” He said softly, slowly moving his hands from his ears to his eyes as the screams quieted, rubbing at his eyes to no avail. “What just fuckin happened, man…”

“Oh! I forgot to tell you about this part, my apologies Twilight.” a soft, motherly voice said as he heard….clopping approaching? Was she wearing heels?

The voice then seemed to address him. “Hello there, Please, do not worry, you are simply experiencing the symptoms of summoning sickness, your senses should return to you within a few minutes or so.” She said reassuringly, and he felt something gently rub up and down his back. “I apologize for the inconvenience this has probably caused you, but you have been….inadvertantly summoned by a recent magical event.”

He stiffened somewhat at the unexpected touch, then a bit more after hearing what had happened. “Summoned...by magic?” he said slowly, sounding doubtful. “Okay, I’ll bite, where exactly am I? Salem? I always knew those motherfuckers were hiding witches…”

“Oh nono, nowhere that you probably no, sadly…” she said, sounding somewhat apologetic “you have been summoned, for lack of a better simple descriptor, to another world.”

He felt himself frown at this, his expression growing stormy as he rolled what she just said over him his head a few times. “You realize, of course, that I am very much not okay with the entirety of what you just told me.”

“I was...afraid you might say something like that, your ancestors said much the same when they arrived.” She said with a tinge of regret to her voice.

“Wait wait, roll that back a second. This is getting a bit complicated now…” He said as he tried to stand up, knees wobbling. He quickly collapsed towards the ground, only to feel himself be caught by...something, and placed on the back of….a horse? Something large enough to carry him, a pony maybe?

The voice continued to speak. “Now now, there will be time for answering your questions soon enough, for now, how about we all get inside, hm?”

“Princess…” another, younger sounding voice sounded out with an inquisitive, if tentative tone. “What...what is this?”

“Yeah, what the hay is goin’ on here!” a more…banjo-adjacent accented voice asked as he felt the creature carrying him start to move.

The older, more motherly voice gave a small, patient sigh and simply repeated itself “Girls, you do see the...condition of the creature on my back yes? Let’s please get it inside before we discuss this.”

Wait, creature? On her back.

Oh dear, that certainly raised some concerns, concerns which only began to become more pronounced as his vision began to clear. He seemed to be in some sort of rural village. Wooden and brick walls and straw roofs, the like. He rubbed at his eyes again and pushed himself up on the back of...the one who had been speaking apparently. His vision staring to clear more to reveal…

A rather stunning creature by all accounts. Elegant, regal to be certain. White, with a soft tinge of pink, with a coat that seemed to glow softly even in the darkness of what seemed to be the ass-end of a sunset, twilight. It’s...her mane shone softly as well and glimmered with flowing pastel colors below a long, thin horn which protruded from behind what seemed to be a crown. Her eyes were magenta, bright and warm, and she seemed to be smiling at him kindly as she looked back at him while carrying him on her back, a set of large wings rustling softly underneath him. “Well, it seems as if somepo...someone has regained their sight. That certainly makes explaining some things easier.”

“No….no, I do not think it does,” he said softly as he rubbed at the back of his head, running a hand through his short locks, eyes darting this way and that, spotting several other colorful equines with differing configurations of horns and wings and...a small dragon? “Yeah, I think this is going to require a lot of explanation.”

“...you know what, you are right, my apologies, I was simply trying to console you with a bit of cheerful optimism,” she said with an amused smirk before turning back to face forwards.

“Yeah... yeah that makes sense…” he said softly as he slowly wrapped his arms around her neck. She stiffened for a moment under him before relaxing again, continuing her steady gait towards what looked to be a fairly large tree retrofitted into a building of some sort.

They entered and brought him over to a couch in what seemed to be a sitting area, the equine beneath him seeming to concentrate for a moment, her horn glowing a soft golden hue as his body began to do the same. He gave a small surprised noise as he was lifted from her back into the air and slowly placed back down on the couch the glow fading. “Huh...you know, I think I might be in shock or denial or something, because I am taking this extremely well, considering the circumstances…” He said as he leaned back and relaxed with a small sigh.

She chuckled softly and nodded. “Oh, that is just an effect of the summoning. Summoning combines a number of factors, modifications for adapting to new environments if needed, language spells for the native language of the summoner, and in the case of your er, taking it well, a little something to help you relax. A normality spell if you will, to hep summons process their new surroundings without too severe a culture shock.”

“Huh….that explains the lack of a panic attack…” he said softly as he rubbed the back of his neck. “So uh...are my legs going to start working soon, or what? Not sure how I feel about getting carried around everywhere…”

“Yes, they should regain full functionality once your nervous system finishes adjusting,” she said, looking over towards the door as the other little pastel ponies began to file inside. “In the meantime, I think the next few minutes are going to be fairly...expositional, for you all.”

There seemed to be about six of them aside from the one who had carried him, as well as the small dragon, making seven. One with only a horn, two with only wings, another with both, and two with neither.

One of the ones without wings, a Pink one with a rather curly, fluffy mane and tail approached him quickly, seeming quite excited. She was not saying anything quite yet, but she was beaming at him quite brightly and intently.

However, as she was approached, her tail was grabbed in the mouth of the stern-looking little orange one in the adorable cowboy hat. “Eaaasy there, Pinkie. I already know what you’re thinkin’. Let em sit pretty for a bit maybe huh?” She said firmly but kindly in her southeastern American accent, the pink one nodding and sheepishly smiling to her as she backed away slightly

“Sorry Applejack, I’m just excited! Look at him, he’s so weird and cool looking!” She said as she pointed with her hoof, beaming words at him again then back ay her friend, who was apparently named after alcohol.

“Eh, I would say they are more awesome than cool, but I can’t expect a laypony like you to get the difference, Pinkie.” The blue one said, flitting over her head as she looked the human up and down with mild curiosity.

“I...appreciate your enthusiasm, really. But what I would really like right now is a nap. Barring that, some answers would be nice.” He said softly as he relaxed into the couch underneath him with a soft sigh, putting his hands behind his head and humming as he got more comfortable.

“And you will get plenty of them.” The tall regal one said kindly as she looked down at him, seeming pleased by his comfort. “Let us all start with simple Introductions, I will go first. MY name is Princess Celestia of House Ouranios. I am the Co-Ruler of Equestria and Princess of the Sun.” she said, giving a small polite bow before coming back up. “May I have your name?”

“Oh, of course, My name is Pete. Pete Phillips,” he said, tilting his head slightly as he looked her up and down. “I am erm...unemployed, currently in education. Or at least, I was until I arrived here,” he said as he leaned forward again, putting his chin in his hands and giving a small sigh.

Celestia nodded, looking satisfied. “It is a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Pete, of House Phillipos.” She said, smiling a bit wider than before.

“Erm...I do not think I said that was my name but thank you anyway, it is also nice to be meeting you as well. I suppose I would er...bow or something, but I appear to be a bit erm...unable to get back up of I do.” he said, picking up one of his legs and letting it flop back down numbly, the pins and needles of feeling returning only now starting to creep through his frame proper.

“I appreciate the thought,” she said, clearly amused, nodding towards the smaller, purple winged and horned pony beside her. “Twilight, if you would be so kind?”

The one called Twilight perked up and nodded, clearing her throat “O-oh! Of course. “I am Twilight Sparkle of House Magos, and I am er...A Princess, I suppose? It is sort of complicated, we can explain in a minute after we finish with introductions.”

“Pleased to meet you, Miss Sparkle. Or er...as pleased as I can be considering…” he said, slightly apologetic in his tone.

“Yeah, that’s fair. Let’s continue, these are my friends.” She said, gesturing with a hoof over at the other five ponies and the dragon littering the room.

The blue, winged one was the first to come forth, giving him a confident smirk as she landed and trotted over and struck a small pose. “The name’s Rainbow Dash, fastest flyer in all of Equestria.” She said cockily, seeming to expect him to be impressed.

“Wow, I am...sure that would be very impressed with the appropriate context,” he said somewhat flatly, causing her expression to falter a bit. “Sorry, that was a bit...dickish, I’ll admit. It’s very nice to meet you, I am sure you’re great at...flying,” he said apologetically, leading her to shrug and smile again, nodding as she backed away again.

Next came the exuberant pink one, hopping forwards a few times until she was directly in front of him, bouncing up and down in place and smiling like a madwoman. “Hi, there, my name is Pinkie Pie! I’m really happy to meet you. I mean, I am always happy to meet anypony, but that doesn’t make meeting you any less special!” she said chipperly. “I’m sorta the unofficial Party Pony for the town! So you’ll probably be seeing me around anytime there’s a party, bash, shindig, or get-together going on!”

“Oh erm...I am actually a bit of a homebody myself. I don’t tend to get out terribly much.” he admitted somewhat awkwardly as he rubbed at one of his arms, still trying to work out the tingles in his flesh.

She lumped and gasped in apparent shock and horror at this, floating in the air for a few long moments as she did so before landing again, suddenly a blur as she ran out the door, opening and slapping it again in a matter of moments, leaving only a Pinkie-shaped cloud of dust in her wake.

“Huh….” he said slowly, moving the hand up from his arm to instead rob his chin in mild consternation. “So uh...she gonna be alright?” he asked, looking over at the others.

Twilight was quick to reassure him “she’ll be fine, that’s just Pinkie being Pinkie,” She said with a small amused smirk at her friend’s antics.

Next was the orange one with the cute hat. She gave him a steady, honest smile and met his eyes as she spoke “Mah name’s Applejack. I Work with my family down the way at Sweet Apple Acres.”

“Let me guess, you grow...apples?” he asks, not unkindly, seeming charmed by the seemingly wholesome mare.

“Well, yeah, Apples, Corn, taters. Lotsa things, but mostly apples,” she said, seeming to return his good energy in her tone. “You seem like a nice enough fella. I hope Equestria treats ya well.”

“Heh, I appreciate that. But let’s give this normality enforcing magic or whatever a bit to wear off before we go deciding how chill of a guy I am,” he said, waving his hand. “Not gonna lie, normally I would probably be flipping out right now, but this shit is like fucking Xanax, I honestly could not give less of a fuck right now.”

“Fair ‘nuff...” she said simply, tipping her hat and backing away to allow the white one with the purple mane and the horn to approach next.

“Good afternoon, er...Pete, was it? My name is Rarity. I am a clothing and accessory designer here in Ponyville. That is to say er, the town in which we all currently are if the context was not enough to make that clear.” She said in a posh, refined accent as she looked him slowly up and down. “I do have to say though, whoever designed your ensemble was quite fond of...plain, weren’t they?”

He shrugged and looked down at his clothing. A black generic tee shirt, a pair of khaki pants, a black zip-up jacket, and a set of white tennis shoes. “I buy all of my clothes in a department store, but I am sure that the little Asian child they paid to stitch it all together would be appreciative of your critique, ma’am.” He said half-jokingly, getting a confused, slightly disgusted look from the elegant mare.

“What sort of awful place sells mass-produced clothing! Clothes are supposed to be for important ponies and special occasions! Every piece should be hoof made with love for the one intended to wear it!” she said firmly, almost as if she telling herself in affirmation more than scolding him.

He shrugged and tilted his head slightly, giving her a ‘fuck if I know’ sort of expression. “I think perhaps there are going to be some...cultural differences between here and where I am from. We can discuss that more when I can uh...feel things aside from contentedness again,” he said, getting a bit irritated for a moment at the fact that he seemed to be unable to feel anything aside from content and accepting, until that too faded quickly into those two same blasted feelings.

Rarity gave a small sigh and nodded before backing away, leaving only…

The little yellow pegasus with the long pink mane that seemed to obscure her face as her head hung down slightly. He honestly would not have noticed she was there if not for the proximity of her friends drawing attention to her despite her very bright pastel color palette. She slowly walked forwards, seeming to not particularly be happy about having to do so as she looked up at him with those big soft blue-greenish eyes of hers.

“H-hell there. My name is Fluttershy…” she said in a meek, tender tone that if not for the kindness embedded in it would border on sullen or melancholy. She was clearly a bit nervous about approaching him this way, but her friends and...apparently her Princess trusting him not to harm her and his seeming helplessness appeared to help her gather some courage as she spoke up a bit louder. “I run an animal sanctuary on the outskirts of town near the White Tail Woods.”

“Well, that is actually fairly admirable. Good for you, Fluttershy,” he said, smiling softly and trying not to make an off-color joke about how well she seemed to live up to her name. After all, the odds were she had probably heard it before, no need to beat a dead...ah well shit that got dark fast.

She seemed pleased enough by his complement, sheepish even, giving a small reluctant, but genuine smile “I-it really isn’t that amazing…”

He shrugged and simply nodded in response “Well, if that is how you feel, I won’t make a big thing out of it, people and er...ponies are entitled to their own opinions of their accolades.”

She seemed content with this and retreated a bit to be back with the others, finally, the little dragon approaching him, giving him an unsure, cautious look. “The name is Spike. Twilight over there hatched me out of an egg, and I’ve been her assistant ever since,” he said as he looked up at the other male, arms crossed.

Pete chuckled softly at this and responded with an amused tinge in his voice “well, that is one way to describe a mother and son relationship, I suppose. Accurate enough, if a bit dry.”

The little dragon blushed and sputtered in shock at the otherwise fairly innocuous statement just issued to him by the strange creature, Twilight’s eyes widening as she put a hoof to her mouth and muttered “Oh…I never actually thought of it that way. I actually thought of him more like a little brother, but I guess I sort of am his mom huh?”

Pete gave a noncommittal gesture and continued “In any case, I am sure that we can sort that particular can of mixed nuts out later, we have er...more pressing matters to discuss if I recall correctly.”

The larger of the two princesses smiled down at him and nodded, seeming amused by the turn of events. “Well, even considering the effects of the summoning, I would say you are taking all of this remarkably well, Pete. But yes, I believe you are owed some explanations. Girls, I am very sorry to have to ask you to do this, But I think it would be best if this next part was just Twilight, myself, and our guest here.” she said, gesturing with her head towards Pete, who waved at them casually. “Would you all mind giving us a bit of privacy, this is Official Princess Business.”

The lot of them seemed a bit confused for a few moments, all voicing tentative agreement one way or another as they headed towards the door, save for the little dragon, who seemed to feel that this request did not include him.

It would seem he may have been wrong in that assumption, however, as Celestia gave him an apologetic, understanding look, leaning down to be closer to eye level as she spoke to him “Spike, I am afraid that includes you for the time being. Twilight can share whatever information she feels comfortable with later, but for now, I would prefer if she had the option of privacy in this matter.”

The little dragon gave a small pout and a huff, rolling his eyes and trotting out of the door, shutting it again behind him, leaving the three of them alone at last.

“Well now, give it to me straight, Princess. How long do you think I have until I start actually caring that this is all happening? And also, why is it so hard for me to care about anything right now.?” He asked the multicolor-maned royal in front of him.

Celestia sighed softly and gave him a soft, slightly worried look “I would wager we have about...ten to fifteen more minutes until you are back up to full steam. And for what it is worth, I really am sorry that we have inconvenienced you in such an inconceivably massive way. I can assure you that after you have heard why, you will probably at least be able to agree that the reason why we did so was important, even if you are still probably not going to be terribly pleased about it.”

“I will admit, I am curious to find out exactly what is going on myself, Princess,” Twilight said, cutting in gently in a prodding tone. Not irritated, but clearly anxious for answers herself, though her interest was likely far more...academic than his judging by her tone.

“Fine, fine. Ever curious as ever, my dear student…” she said not unkindly as she allowed her horn to glow and seemed to use some form of telekinesis to pull a chair towards her, taking a seat in front of the couch and staring down at the still somewhat incapacitated human. “Now. Ask me whatever questions you might have, and I will be more than happy to attempt to give you some answers.”

“Alright then. Thank you, princess,” he said as he attempted to sit up a bit with a soft, slightly pained grunt, feeling a bit stiff from being relatively immobile for a bit. “Let’s start with a very simple one. Where am I?”

Chapter Two

Something has gone wrong. We don't seem to have an archived copy of that chapter.