Starlight Glimmer Takes A DNA Test (a tribute story)

by Angel Midnight

Rating: everyone
Tags: Original Character, Dazzlings, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Comedy, Starlight Glimmer, Equestria Girls, Aria Blaze, Main 7 (EqG)
Length: 3462

A story in which an old supposedly debunked theory is revived and chaos ensues. Surely you saw this coming?!

A story in which an old supposedly debunked theory is revived and chaos ensues. Surely you saw this coming?!

Starlight didn't, but she's actually pretty chilled out about it. As is her great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great aunt, or something like that.

Others are... less pleased.

This is based on Twilight Takes a DNA Test by Dewdrops on the Grass. All credit goes to her.

Published 2021-04-01 06:50:01 UTC
Last updated 2021-04-01 06:50:01 UTC

And Meets Another Ex-Evil Genius

Citrus took a deep breath. Hoo boy, she thought, as if Princess Twilight and the Royal Sisters weren't bad enough. The pony she was about to see would probably hate the news she had. And this pony was easily as powerful as an alicorn. If she could get through this, it would give her a massive confidence boost. If not...

OhmygoshI'mgoingtogetslaughtered.

No, it's fine.

Butshe'sStarlightGlimmerandshe'ssuperpowerfulandI'mgoingtoendupinabsolutelyMASSIVEamountsoftrouble.

No, it's absolutely fine.

Stoplyingtoyourselfit'satrapyou'regoingtohaveyourcutiemarktakenormuchworseAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

CALM DOWN! Get it over with. It'll be fine.

She opened the door, and walked into the office. Starlight Glimmer sat opposite her, smiling. "Morning!" she greeted, as if they had known each other for years.

"G-good m-m-morning," Citrus stammered. Great. Now you've gone and done it. Her eyes darted around the room wildly, looking for some way to make a quick exit if needed. Alas, it wasn't there, and she had heard of some of the advanced spells Starlight could use.

"Are you ok?"

"Y-yes, I'm always n-n-nervous. S-sorry."

"It's fine. I've dealt with much worse than a little ancestry test."

"Y-you might find the r-results a little surp-p-prising, let me warn you." She took a seat, and placed a folder on the desk. "This is, um, the overview of the results."

Starlight took a few minutes to read about what they had found. As expected, she had mostly unicorn DNA, with a little bit of earth pony and pegasus DNA. Then... there was something slightly different. Something that made her curious.

"Hmm, what's this? It's pony DNA, yes, but it's been changed."

"That's w-what I was worried ab-bout."

"Um, am I supposed to be panicking or something? Because I don't see this as a problem."

Citrus' eyes grew wide. "You aren't, um, mad at me?"

"No," Starlight giggled. "I heard about what happened with Twilight and the Royal Sisters, but this isn't an issue for me. Could you just explain what this means? All it says is that there's something wrong with one of the genes that you haven't been able to figure out."

"Well, um, there are a few possibilities, b-but there isn't a match with anything on the databases. I'm ruling out Discord's chaos magic, because whilst your magic is powerful, it still follows the patterns of unicorn magic to a certain degree." This was going far better than Citrus expected. Her nervous stutter had even disappeared. For the moment. "There are plenty of different magical creatures whom you could be related to. However, I have reason to believe that there is another explanation. The unique gene originally was unicorn DNA, but it has been changed. I believe that it is actually down to an ancestor of yours using a Soul Ruby pendant."

"Wait. Don't they turn ponies into sirens? The lizard creatures who use the negative emotions of creatures around them to get more power?"

Citrus nodded. "Um, yes."

"Well, that explains a lot. Like my evil lying mind-controlling cutie-mark-stealing streak." Her eyes widened and she rubbed the back of her head apologetically as she realised she had actually been speaking out loud. "Heheheh. I probably should have left that out. Sorry."

"N-n-no p-problems."

"Anywhoo, would you have any way of finding out who the siren was?"

"Unf-f-fortunately not. Unless..." Sat on a chest of drawers in the corner of the room was a newspaper, opened to a page about the foes Princess Twilight had faced prior to becoming the Sovereign of Equestria. They were not pictured, but three sirens were mentioned in the article. "Y-you would h-have to speak to the P-P-Princess about it."

"Thank you so much, Citrus. It means a lot."

"Um, you're welcome."

The two mares shook hooves and Starlight left the building, walking straight into a door because she was so busy thinking about what to say to Twilight. Citrus, meanwhile, was glad that the meeting had gone without a hitch. Quite unlike the last two times pony celebrities had asked her to run a genetics test. That gave her a bit of extra confidence in her abilities. Maybe this job wasn't so bad after all.

"WHAT?!" screeched Princess Twilight as she glared down at Starlight from her throne. The ends of her mane and tail glowed as if they were about to ignite.

"Twilight, it's fine," Starlight pleaded. "Stop having a panic attack. No need to go Nirik on me. You're not the one related to a siren here."

"I know, I know, it's just quite a lot to wrap my head around, and you're asking me to speak to them when the last time I spoke to them they tried to hypnotise a whole school full of thousands of people and planned to take over the rest of the human world and Equestria from there!"

"Calm. Down. I nearly did something similar. Imagine if the Time Scroll had been lost or destroyed and we had been stuck in one of those alternate timelines. Or if everypony thought you gave up your cutie mark willingly, and I took the cutie marks of everypony in Equestria. That could have been even worse."

"You have a point. Her name's Aria Blaze. Actually, now I think of it, the two of you do look pretty similar. Remember when you took me back in time to your childhood? Her hairstyle is probably similar to how yours was back then."

"Nice to know we have a few things in common. Do you have the book?"

Twilight's horn was surrounded by a pink corona and a brown hardback book floated towards Starlight. On the front was a picture of the sun split in two. Half of it was red and yellow, and the other half was purple. It was one of two books that looked exactly the same, which could be used to communicate with a girl whom Starlight had met a few times.

"Thanks. I'll take care of it, and bring it back to you once I'm back in Equestria."

"Good luck, Starlight. I hope they're nice to you."

"I hope so too."

A buzzing sound echoed through the classroom from within Sunset Shimmer's school bag. Still facing the whiteboard and writing, Miss Cheerilee tittered, "Sunset, could you please turn your phone off in class?"

"Sorry, miss, but that wasn't my phone," Sunset replied, wincing with embarrassment as she pulled the huge book out of her bag. It was still buzzing, and was surrounded by a pink aura. "Should I deal with this outside?"

"If you would."

Sunset jumped out of her seat and left the classroom, sitting down on a bench outside. She opened the notebook and looked for the latest addition. There was a new letter there, written in different handwriting to the rest of the letters. Handwriting - or rather, hoofwriting - that she recognised, but still different. What had happened to Twilight? Was she needed in Equestria? Had a new villain popped out of the woodwork? She began to read.

Dear Sunset,

Before you start worrying about why I'm writing to you instead of Twilight, everything's fine. I'm writing because of a recent discovery about my family history.

Apparently I am a descendent of one of three Sirens who currently live in the human world. Twilight said you were the last one to speak to them, and as much as you are probably going to hate this, I was wondering if you could get back in contact with them. Sorry if this causes you any kind of trouble. I've heard the stories of what they tried to do with their magic.

I really need to talk to you again at some point too. It's been a while since I last saw you.
You friend and fellow reformed troublemaker,
Starlight.

Pheeeeeewwwww. She didn't have another villain to deal with. Well, she still had to deal with some nasty people, but they weren't exactly villains any more. How hard could it be to deal with the Dazzlings? Maybe a little difficult, and headache-inducing, but as long as they knew it wasn't because she was accusing them of messing around with dark magic, it would be fine. Hopefully.

She scribbled in the notebook, Dear Starlight, I should be able to get hold of them. Not saying they'll agree to meet you, but I can try. You're right, we really need to catch up at some point. Your friend, Sunset.

She went back into the classroom and sat down next to the human alternate of Twilight Sparkle. Twilight mouthed, "What is it?"

"Somepony's going to be popping over from Equestria," Sunset answered in a whisper.

"That's amazing! I wonder what will happen."

"We'll also have to speak to some not-so-nice people. I can handle that part."

"I don't think the others will let you. We do everything as a team. We'll all handle the burden."

"Girls," said Cheerilee.

"Sorry," Sunset apologised. "It's to do with Twilight-from-out-of-town." Code language for Twilight the Pony Princess who usually only popped through the hidden portal in the school's front lawn when the students and staff were in imminent danger of being hit by some demon's magic lasers.

"Is the school in danger?"

"Not at the moment."

"Then I think you can both get back to listening and taking notes."

"Fair point," she grumbled. She kept the book on her desk and doodled a picture of a girl with her hair in pigtails, a pair of pony ears and dragon wings.

The Dazzlings had a problem in their lives again, and its name was Sunset Shimmer. That pony-turned-human had caused them enough trouble already, but of course she hadn't had enough of it yet. Adagio hadn't bothered telling her soul sisters why that miserable little excuse for a unicorn was bothering them again. It didn't matter, anyway.

Adagio sighed to herself as she watched Sunset Shimmer walk into the cafe and pull over a chair. "Good afternoon, Sunset. Here to blame us for something else we haven't done?"

"You saw the email. I'm not going to bother this time around. Besides, really I'm here to talk to Aria."

Aria Blaze looked up from her book and brushed her purple hair away from her face. "Ugh, just leave me alone."

"Say that to you descendent."

That got her attention."Descendent? You're not telling me that my bloodline's still around?"

"Yup. She's not a siren, but she's enthusiastic about meeting you. If it helps, she isn't as excitable as Pinkie Pie."

"What about me?" Sonata Dusk piped up from the corner.

"Not as excitable as you either, and between you and me, she's a lot less naive than both Twilight Sparkles."

Aria was speechless for a few minutes whilst she processed what she had been told. "Sweet Celestia, I didn't know I still had a family in Equestria. Do I punch you, hug you, or what? Ugh, Adagio, stop looking at me like that."

Adagio was giving Aria the death glare. She mouthed, "Punch her, or I'll punch you."

"Adagio, leave Aria alone. If I'd been around for as long as you and I discovered I still had a family, I'd be pretty emotional too," Sunset admitted.

"Eh, I'd be pretty chill about it," said Sonata.

"Of course you would," Aria snapped. "You can't think about anything other than the next time you're going to get tacos for lunch."

"What? They're delicious. They're one of the things I miss about Canterlot High, actually. It was a pretty cool place, even before we got everybody to do what we wanted with our magic."

"That's irrelevant, Sonata. I've got a family. It's been a while. I suppose you two are my family too, but I have blood relatives. I know this will make you wonder who I am and what happened to Aria Blaze, but maybe you should lay off of Sunset for the moment."

"Aria, this is probably a hoax to make us look like a laughing stock," Adagio deadpanned. "Listen to me, it isn't worth it."

"Listen to me. I'm going to find out who this girl is, no matter how much time I have to spend with the Rainbooms, got it?"

"Ugh, fine. If you can figure out how to fix our pendants-"

Sunset rolled her eyes. "I don't think it's possible. My bad."

"Oh, Sunset, Sunset. Must you make my life so miserable? Keep your nose in your pony business and stay away from us."

"I will once this is over. Aria?"

She jumped out of her seat, and the two of them left the cafe. There was silence between them for a few minutes, then Aria said, "One of the best things about going along with this is the look on Adagio's face."

Principal Celestia and Vice-Principal Luna left the school building for that day, and narrowed their eyes as they watched Sunset and the other girl walk towards the statue. All this Equestria pony nonsense had stolen a lot of sleep from them, since they had the responsibility of making sure the secrets of the other world were not shared with the public, and to notify Princess Twilight if anything magic-related happened.

Sunset wasn't a problem. She'd already proven that she wasn't going to use her magic to hurt others if she could help it. The other girl, Aria Blaze, most certainly was a problem, however. She and two other students had taken over the school through the use of dark magic and hypnosis, and none of them had given a single apology. As if running a school was hard enough without some magic-crazy demon threatening everybody once a month.

"Sunset, is there a problem?" asked Celestia.

"Nope, everything's fine," Sunset replied. "No need to evacuate everybody, heh, unlike the, heheh, last four or five times." She rubbed the back of her head.

That made Celestia feel awkward too. The portal to Equestria might have been on her school's grounds, but when it came to that world's magic she was out of her depth, and felt helpless whenever magical issues affected the everyday lives of her students and staff. No need to get involved if it was nothing serious. "I'll leave you to it, then." She walked quickly after Luna, who had not bothered to stick around since there were no magic-crazed demons flying around.

"Ugh, why does she need to get involved?" Aria sighed when Celestia was out of earshot.

"She's just concerned. You and Sonata and Adagio aren't the only ones who've caused trouble here. In fact, Princess Twilight's human alternate probably did worse than both of us combined. You can understand why she'd be worried."

"Fear. It's been a while since I've tasted fear."

Sunset looked at the ground. "I should apologise for what I did."

"Stop it."

"But-"

"Surely you realised Adagio's the only one who still has a problem with you? I'm fine hanging out with you and the Rainbooms. Better than fine, actually, because I like annoying her. The look on her face when she sees you will never get old," she snickered.

The statue suddenly glowed, and a girl was spat out onto the lawn. Pale purple skin, purple and cyan hair sticking out of a pink beanie, a green T-shirt and sleeveless leather jacket, ripped jeans, bright blue eyes. Starlight Glimmer pulled herself to her feet, took one step tentatively, then another, then walked towards Sunset and Aria like a normal human would.

"Hi Sunset!" she chirruped. "Who's this? My ancestor?"

Sunset pointed at Aria first, then Starlight. "Aria Blaze, meet Starlight Glimmer. Starlight, this is Aria. Wow. You two look alike."

Starlight giggled as she realised how similar they really were. Both of them had purple hair with a cyan stripe; they were both wearing green; and they both had smug grins plastered on their faces now they had seen each other.

Aria broke the silence. "Finally I find someone in the Equestrian Villainy business who hasn't been reformed or sent to another world for jail time."

"Sorry. Princess Twilight got me pretty good. I've had a clean record for a while now. What did you do?"

"Tried to take over this world and Equestria on multiple occasions with my soul sisters through the use of our now broken Siren pendants."

"Stole cutie marks from ponies and tried to undo the events that allowed the Bearers of the Elements of Harmony get their cutie marks, resulting in a series of alternate timelines where Equestria was doomed."

"Ugh, now it looks like you're hogging the limelight, but that's still pretty impressive. I need to hear more of this. Maybe you're evil enough that I don't need to be a bad influence on you."

Adagio sat on the stairs in the house she shared with Aria and Sonata, hugging her knees. She muttered to herself, "Ponies, stupid ponies, taking my home, my magic, my reputation, now my friend?! Stupid ponies, stupid ponies."

"Dagi, you realise there's not actually anything to worry about?" Sonata asked with concern.

"Ugh, don't say you believe what Sunset told you. I swear to Tartarus, if I ever see her again..."

The door flew open. Aria was there, with another girl who looked pretty similar but not the same. Aria said, "What are you doing?"

"Wondering when you can get back here and stop spending so much time with those ponies."

The other girl cleared her throat.

"Aria, is she-"

"Yes, this is my descendent. And she's got a little surprise for us. A little gift for friends and relatives." Aria held up a glowing Soul Ruby pendant. "Remember these? She fixed mine."

Adagio grinned. "Maybe you ponies aren't as bad as I thought. Does Princess Twilight know about this?"

Starlight answered, "Nope. I've got a little plan that I'd like your help with. Sunset's going to help too, but the good news is that Twilight is going to get the shock of her life."

"What do I have to do?"

Aria sneered, "Follow my lead."

An unseen force threw open the doors to the Canterlot Castle throne room. Sunset Shimmer and Starlight Glimmer walked in. Behind them, three dragon-like creatures with glowing red jewels on their chests flew into the room. Both Sunset and Starlight had menacing grins on their faces.

One of the lizards said, "Ugh, I didn't miss this place. At least there aren't any Elements of Harmony to stop us this time. Thank you, Starlight."

"No problem. Now, Twilight, I think a few friends of mine want to have words with you. Something about a rainbow laser ruining their magic almost beyond repair."

Twilight screamed.

"And that's how we ended up scaring Twilight half to death," Starlight finished, barely keeping a straight face.

The Human Seven burst out laughing. Rainbow Dash roared, "Bwahahaha! Oh my gosh! What was her face like?"

"Terrified," Adagio purred, smiling. "She apologised afterwards though. Apparently we're even now. Either way, I'm happy. Maybe you aren't so bad."

"Well, darlings, as long as you don't pull a Battle of the Bands-style trick on us, I'm sure we are all happy to spend time with you three," Rarity offered.

Aria and Starlight looked at each other. Eventually, Aria said, "Are you sure about that? Surely a little musical showcase wouldn't hurt?"

All of the Human Seven shared a look. Sunset answered, "You know what? I don't have a problem with that."

"Well, I'm sure Principal Celestia would listen to us if we asked nicely," Sonata said.

"Ah'm sure she would, what with those nasty old necklaces of yours," Applejack deadpanned. "Ah get that yeh need magic ter survive, but Rarity has a point. So don't you go planning annything."

"We won't!" Aria and Starlight answered in unison, smiling innocently and holding up their hands.

Nobody believed them.

Author's Note

See, I told you Aria and Starlight were related! This is my explanation for why they look so similar, and also a total annihilation of the Random tag as an April Fool's Day gift to you, dear reader, complete with an awkward Momlestia moment and an even more awkward hero-villain reunion.

Hoo boy, Sunset, Starlight and the Dazzlings are evil again 0_______0

Now for the serious bit.

On my last story in this series, a lot of ponies asked me if they were allowed to write their own DNA Test stories. Good news: Dewdrops on the Grass says yes, as long as a) you credit her and b) you put your stories here:

The DNA Test Archives

Dewdrops on the Grass

3Stories12Members2021March

Now go write some of these yourself. I want to see more and more of them. Bombard the moderators with them for April Fool's Day. They'll see the funny side.

~ Angel Midnight