Troll Hunters

by NeuPferdfurt

Rating: teen
Tags: Applejack, Apple Bloom, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Rainbow Dash, Comedy, Fluttershy, Adventure, Big Macintosh, Slice of Life
Length: 6911

Ponies are feeding meat to their pet carnivores, but where does it come from?

When watching Applejack feed the family dog one evening, Apple Bloom decides to finally ask her where the ponies get their meat. Little does she know that it's going to be the beginning of a big adventure...

As far as I'm concerned, this is headcanon now.

Alternative Title: Where does meat come from?

References used:
(-Lauren Faust, "My little Pony- Friendship is magic", Hasbro Studios/DHX Media, 2010.)
-Magicolt808, "Huntershy (Hunting)", fimfiction.net, 22.August 2012.
-Arthur Qwak, "Dragon Hunters", furikon, 2006.
-The Cure, "Dragon Hunters Song", 2005.
- Tetsuya Shibata/Masato Koda/Mitsuhiko Takano, "Monster Hunter" (and all sequels), Capcom, 2004.
-Pendleton Ward, "Adventure Time", Cartoon Network, 2010.
-Max Cabanes, "Dans les villages", Audie/Dargaud/Dupuis, 1978.
-Jonathan Wojcik alias 'sycthemantis', "FACT: The best cartoons ever written for kids are right now" on Bogleech's tumblr, 30.August 2012.
-kerembeyit, "Troll Hunter", Deviantart, 17.November 2008.
-and lots of other stuff I won't be able to quote properly since it's so much and all mixed up.

Published 2012-09-14 19:54:01 UTC
Last updated 2012-09-14 19:54:01 UTC

Troll Hunters or: Apple Bloom learns about hunting

Applejack opened the can. Winona had been watching her every move with the kind of intensity only a hungry pet is capable of. As soon as the lumpy treat hit the bowl, the dog plunged her snout into it.

"That's right, Winona old girl", Applejack said, "You'all eat up now. You earned it."

Winona didn't hear any of that over the sound of her own munching, but as they say, it's the thought that counts. Applejack smiled, satisfied with having both quelled her pet's hunger and her own feeding instinct.

The mare noticed something yellow from the corner of her eye. Aparently, they were not alone in the kitchen.

Apple Bloom was standing at the counter, watching Winona eat, then looking at her older sister.

Oh dear. Applejack knew that look. The little foal's lips were already in motion, just about to formulate a question. One of the big ones.

"Yes, Apple Bloom?", Applejack sighed, "What can I do for you?"

"AJ... I was wondering... where does meat come from?"

The M-question, obviously. It had only been a matter of time.

"You might be a little too young for that sort of thing...", the older pony said tentatively.

"Oh, come on!", Apple Bloom cried out.

"Aren't you learning about this in school?"

"If we did, I wouldn't ask, now would I?"

"There you have it", Applejack said, "That's because you're too young. Yep, yep, yep. The education system knows best."

She poured herself a glass of juice, glad that this was over with.

"But you dropped out of school!", Apple Bloom objected.

"Well, duh", her big sister said, "They're just a bunch of pretentious dorks who don't know anything."

The glass already on her lips, the workhorse paused. Apple Bloom was grinning. Damn it. That kid was good.

"Alright, then", she said after a hearty gulp. "I suppose since you're a pony living in the countryside, there's no harm if you get a head start in these matters. Let's get this over with. After all, I was about your age when I learned about meat. Technically, Pappy was telling BigMac, but I happened to be eavesdropping, in all innocence."

She emptied her glass and nodded. "Follow me discretely into the living room, if you will."

-

Now where to start...

Applejack thought about the different ways to begin her lecture. Should she go with the birds and the worms? The great cycle of life? The futility of it all? Naaah. Apple Bloom was a smart girl. Surely, she would appreciate the scientific approach.

The workhorse pulled her trusty biology textbook out of the shelf, sat down on the sofa and told Apple Bloom to join her.

She openend the book. There were colorful illustrations in it. Lots of... anatomy. Applejack blushed. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all. Oh well. There was no turning back now.

She put her hooves on one especially colorful page.

"You want to know where meat comes from? Well there you have it."

"Meat comes from zombies?", Apple Bloom asked, frowning. "Are they vomiting it or something?"

"No, these aren't... Arrgh. Okay. Look. Inside every creature, there are muscles. That's how we move around. Except for plants, I suppose..."

"And what about bacteria? And viruses?"

"Now Apple Bloom, you know that it's highly debatable whether a virus is really a life form in our understanding of the word. As for bacteria... we're getting off topic here."

She gestured at the page.

"Meat comes from flesh. And flesh... well, that's muscles."

"I don't get it", Apple Bloom said. She really didn't. It was as if most of the pieces were there, but something was still missing. "I mean, how does the meat get out of the muscles? Are there poor critters running around with random holes in them?"

"Not exactly", Applejack said, uneasy.

"Or wait... Is that what happens to little ponies when they go to jail? They put holes in 'em?" Apple Bloom gasped.

"No, no!", Applejack said, perplexed. "Thank Celestia we don't do that anymore."

"Well, where do we get it, then?"

Now that's where it got interesting.

"Now this is where it gets interesting", Applejack said. "We happen to have a very reliable source. It's kinda tricky, but it has never failed us."

"Tell me already!"

"Aehm... Little foals who ask questions about meat? ...Boo?"

Apple Bloom was unimpressed. "Try again."

"Well it's... Oh, I'm going to regret this. It's trolls, alright? We go troll hunting."

Apple Bloom was just staring at her, mighty sceptical.

"What?", Applejack asked.

"You wouldn't happen to be horseappeling me, just because I'm a little foal and all?"

"Oh no. I'm serious, alright. Trolls it is."

"It's just that... I didn't think trolls were real. I thought there were more of a... I dunno. A concept."

"Oh, they're real... Real and evil as can be."

Applejack got up and started pacing.

Troll hunting. Truth be told, she had been waiting for years to share this with her sister. She had hesitated at first because she knew that once she started talking about it, she'd inevitabely drag Apple Bloom in as well...

Apple Bloom was just watching her with big, inquistive eyes.

Applejack was trying to restrain herself, and failed. During so many hunts, she had pictured Apple Bloom joining her, so they could fight side by side as sisters! Sure, there was always Big Macintosh... but that wasn't quite the same.

Who knew? Perhaps Apple Bloom's curiosity would be satisfied by just talking theory.

Applejack pulled an even bigger book out of the shelf.

"Is that... 'The world history of the history of fancy Prench horse shoes' ?", Apple Bloom asked, with much concern in her voice.

Without a word, the older pony put the book on the carpet and opened it. Apple Bloom gasped. It wasn't a real book at all. It was just a box of sorts hiding another book inside. Applejack met her sister's accusing stare and chuckled.

"Hey, we had to put it somewhere where we'd be sure curious little ponies wouldn't be looking."

The other book was bound in a strange, scaly leather, though the scales being of a completely different nature than that of a dragon or a fish. The closest thing Apple Bloom could think of to compare it to was a beaver's tail.

Applejack gently lifted the book out of its hiding place and put it in front of Apple Bloom.

"This, sweetie, is the Great Book of Trollhunting. It has been in our family for generations."

They opened it together.

"Wow", Apple Bloom said.

The weathered pages were describing hunting techniques, weapon types, and, most of all, the trolls themselves. The illustrations made the foal shudder in both dread and excitement.

"This is SO cool!"

She turned to her sister. "And you're actually doing this? You are going to these places and fight them?"

"You better believe it", Applejack said proudly. "BigMac and I are troll-hunting veterans. Sometimes, Rainbow Dash is coming along, too. Of course none of us compares to Granny Smith before she had to retire around this time last year. Her reflexes aren't what they used to be... Also, her bones."

"So when's the next time you're going?"

So predictable.

Applejack was waving a hoof, avoiding her little sister's stare.

"Oh, you know, there is plenty of meat on the market right now. Troll meat has the advantage that it is easy to preserve, if you know how to can it properly."

Applejack wasn't a liar, but Apple Bloom was well aware that her sister hadn't actually answered her question.

"Next time you go, can I come?"

"Absolutely not. Hunting is serious buisness."

"I'm SUPER serious!", the little foal said, sticking out her chest.

She grabbed the broom and started balancing it on her back. "I could be the pony carrying the spears! Or better yet, like in that one picture? You could throw me at his head and I deliver the final blow! I'm small, you can throw me easy!"

"Hunting is for grown-ups only, missus. A pony can get seriously hurt- or worse. You need to be strong. You need to be sharp. You need to be agile, and stealthy."

Apple Bloom, who had been balancing on the side of the sofa, practicing her sneak attack, dropped to the floor.

"Owie..."

"Exactly."

Applejack chuckled and looked out of the window.

"It'll be getting dark soon. You should head outside if you still want to play with your little friends before bedtime."

Apple Bloom sighed. "They have gone away for the holidays."

With a gentle smile, her sister said:

"I'll guess you'll just have to play something with me, then. I think we still have a score to settle in 'Kick the angry hedgehog'..."

-

Rainbow Dash and the two older Apple siblings didn't go troll hunting that night. That really would have been a bit much of a coincidence.

They went the night after that.

Confident that Apple Bloom was fast asleep, they met in the back of the barn and prepared to slip into their gear. Rainbow Dash was already waiting for them. She kept her troll hunting gear with those of her friends, never going on a hunting trip alone anyway.

"Good night, you guys", she greeted the two Apples.

"Hi there, sugar cube", Applejack said. Big Mac merely nodded, as was his custom.

Applejack placed a hoof in a secret niche in the wall. It clicked, and a part of the wall clapped open, as if the jaw of a wooden giant had just dropped in astonishment.

The secret shelf behind it was displaying the hunting gear, each piece in its proper place, sorted by size, shape and purpose, everything sparkling clean and well maintained. It was truly a sight to behold.

"Wooooow", Apple Bloom said.

The three older ponies turned around. The little filly was standing there with big, glittering eyes. Secretly, Applejack admired her little sister's sneaking skills. Perhaps there wasn't that much left for her to learn in terms of stealth.

Aloud, the workhorse said: "What in tarnation do you think you're doing here at this hour? Sneaking up on your own siblings, no less!"

"As if you hadn't been sneaking around behind MAH back all this time!", Apple Bloom said.

"She's got a point, you know", Rainbow Dash said, earning a reproachful stare from Applejack.

Meanwhile, Apple Bloom had approached the shelf to examine the gear more closely. This stuff looked even cooler in real life.

"Big Mac? Can you give me a lift real quick?"

Her brother allowed her to climb on his back, so she could grab something she had spotted on the top of the shelf. Before the older fillies could say anything - Big Macintosh wouldn't have said a word either way - she had put it on. It was an armored west, only slightly too large for her.

"Oh no", Applejack said.

'Pleeeeease!", Apple Bloom said, "please, Applejack! I promise I won't get in your way! I can stay out of trouble!"

"That's right. You can stay out of trouble...in the saftey of our home."

"Just give me this! I want to see you hunt!"

"You don't realize how dangerous this can be, do you? This ain't a field trip."

"It's not THAT dangerous", Rainbow Dash said, "With our technique, no troll will ever sneak up on us. Also, trolls can't climb. I could tie her up in a really big tree, or on a rock or something like that."

"Again, Rainbow, not helping."

"I think that's a great idea!", Apple Bloom said, "And you know, if you don't take me, I... I... I'll throw a fit, just like a baby, that's what! Serves you right for treating me like a baby!"

"You won't do that. You're a good child."

Apple Bloom sighed, knowing she couldn't fool anyone. "I'm a good child."

Then she looked up again. "But it would mean so much to me! Going on an adventure with you guys? With the biggest, most strongest big sister in the whole wide world?"

Applejack groaned. "Big Mac, say something for once. Surely you can put a stop to this."

"She can come", Big Mac said. And that was that.

Apple Bloom and Rainbow Dash hoof-bumped.

-

Helping one another, the ponies put on their armor.

"Alright then. You already have the west. Let me help you get the rest of this on. Here's the helmet... shoulder pads... boots..."

"Why do we have to put this much armor on, anyway?", Apple Bloom wondered. When her sister was done dressing her, she had trouble to even move around.

"You don't wanna go troll hunting without proper protection", Applejack said paitently. "In fact, I think I'm going to add a few extra layers to you, just to be on the safe side."

"Trolls have big teeth and wicked claws", Rainbow explained. "Even though they're generally rotten because they hardly ever brush or wash their hands. In a way, that makes them even more dangerous. Infections and stuff like that."

"But trolls hardly ever strike with their claws", Applejack said, "I'm sure you remember from the book that they mostly spew acid and vomit filth. They're cowards, even though they have a thick hide to protect them. They want to hurt you, but they want to do it from a distance, because secretly, they fear our wrath. As they should."

"Our armor is made of trolls too, isn't it?", Apple Bloom asked, admiring the scaly texture of her west.

"That's right", Rainbow Dash said, "Properly cleansed and disinfected, of course. This way, we level the playing field, but also, it totally freaks them out. Which is sweet."

Applejack showed her little sister that her helmet had an integrated gas mask that she could clap down.

"That's for the poisonous vapours from the trolls' vomit. The gas can't really harm you, but it will make you feel ill for a long time, especially when you're young and have no experience with trolls."

Rainbow Dash nodded.

"You know it's silly, and that he's just a troll, but still, it stings. You develop a certain resistance to it over the years, but the best thing is to never breath it in in the first place."

"Applejack?", Apple Bloom asked.

"Mhm?"

"Aren't you going to put on a helmet, too?"

Applejack pointed at her stetson.

"Got my helmet right there. What do you think this fella is made of?"

"You mean pappy's hat is also..."

"Yup. Troll hunting is an Apple family tradition."

Applejack and Big Macintosh brought two wagons to the front of the barn, where the ponies placed the rest of their utensils and provisions.

"Will we have to travel far?", Apple Bloom asked.

"Not as far as I'd wish", Applejack said. "We have recieved reports from a village just a few miles away. The trolls start coming out of the woods and terrorizing the smaller farms that don't have hunters to protect them."

She gently lifted Apple Bloom onto her cart.

"It's okay, AJ", the foal said, "I can walk! I really don't want to be a burden on you!"

Her older sister smiled. "It's okay. You rest those stubby legs of yours. I'll have to pull a much greater weight on the way back anyway."

Apple Bloom pretended to be pouting, but gladly settled down on a blanket.

She was really enjoying this nocturnal trip. She had never been traveling this late at night. It was a night with a full moon, and the cicadas were singing in the fields and in the top of the trees. She enjoyed the movement of the wagon beneath her, with every bump in the road, and the cool wind on her face. Her eyes half closed, but never allowing herself to really fall asleep, she listened to the older fillies talking and Big Macintosh being silent - her favorite sound- smiling along whenever she heard them chuckle and trying to decipher the anecdotes they were telling each another. From time to time, Rainbow Dash would fly high above them, her form dark against the pale face of the moon.

At one point, she thought she saw another pegasus in the sky, so perhaps she was sleepier than she thought. Sometimes, Apple Bloom would imagine that it was Scootaloo flying up there, all grown up. And it wasn't Applejack pulling the wagon, it was grown-up Apple Bloom, and grown-up Sweetie Belle was walking by her side. Applejack would be the one on the cart, because Apple Bloom owed her. And perhaps she wouldn't be alone... Perhaps there would be a little nephew or niece as well.

Even at this age, Apple Bloom instinctively understood that sort of thing.

-

They only stopped once they had reached their destination, a little cottage close to the Everfree Forest. There was light inside. They were expected.

A young unicorn stallion opened the door for them, and the four ponies from Ponyville walked inside after the exchange of some hearty greetings. Inside, there was another pony waiting for them, a green earth pony mare Apple Bloom assumed to be the stallion's wife.

They setteled down around the kitchen table. Apple Bloom felt a little shy all of a sudden, as she and her friends looked like a barbaric horde in the bright light of this beautiful little kitchen. She ended up retracting her head into her west, like a tortoise. But then her eyes met those of the mare of the house, and they smiled at eachother.

"Aren't you a little young to go hunting?", the mare asked, but curious, not alarmed.

Before Apple Bloom could answer, Applejack said:

"She's our aprentice."

And Apple Bloom loved her for that.

The stallion brought fresh coffee for the three adult guests, and hot berry sirup for the foal. The sirup tasted absolutely divine and gave her an empowering sugar rush that would last for several hours.

"Tell me...", The mare asked, "Is it really necessary to go hunting this late at night?"

"I'm sure our... aprentice can explain this to you", Rainbow Dash proposed.

Apple Bloom grinned and nodded eagerly.

"Trolls live in dark and nasty places, usually the caves beneath their parents' caves! They only ever come out at night when they think no one will see them. We have a full moon, but Rainbow Dash is a weather pegasus, so she can bring lots of clouds, and then we will build our trap and put out the bait!"

The stallion asked Big Macintosh to show him the blade of one of their spears. They had concealed their weapons and put them on the floor out of politeness. Now, the sparkling spearhead was exposed on the kitchen table. It was incredibly sharp, and made out of a transparent material, almost like glass, but somehow looking... delicious.

"What's it made of?", the stallion asked after letting out an admiring whistle.

Apple Bloom looked at the others. That's something she didn't know yet either.

"Give it a lick", Applejack proposed, grinning.

Their two hosts and the foal were staring at them, incredulous.

"You're pulling my hoof", the green mare said.

"Come on, don't be shy."

"Let's try it together", Apple Bloom proposed, "This way, if it's a joke, it will be on both of us."

So the two of them gingerly placed their tongues on the blade, at a respectful distance.

Their eyes widened.

SWEET!

Apple Bloom was hardly able to refrain from taking another lick.

"What IS that?", the green mare asked.

"It's a very special recipe of hardened sugar", Rainbow Dash said, "Curtesy of Pinkie Pie, our candysmith."

"Yep", Applejack said, "Nothing like sugar blades to get under their skin. It's almost melting them."

Their hosts felt like having a cup of coffee too, all of a sudden.

"So tell us", Rainbow Dash said, "What has been happening here? Your letter sounded pretty urgent."

The mare sighed. "Oh dear..."

"It's our daughter", the stallion said, frowning.

"You see, she is really talented. We had a big celebration in our village just a few days ago. For the occasion, our daughter had created a painting, as large and as wonderful as can be. It was put on the wall of village hall, so that everyone could see it. She was really proud. We were really proud, too."

"The next morning, however... Oh, it was horrible. During the night, the trolls had come. They... they had vomited all over the place, and even written on the painting with their own vomit. They had even added some "paintings" of their own..."

Apple Bloom couldn't keep back a short gagging sound. The mare nodded.

"Our village was a mess. Our daughter was devastated. But that wasn't even the worst. Because the trolls came back the following night... And the night after that..."

The unicorn stallion grunted. His hind legs twiched, as if he had just resisted the urge to kick something.

"They had found out where she lived, and vomited all over her tree house, and then vomited over the flower beds beneath her window. They did the same to our friends. I'm not even going to tell you the nasty pranks they played on the two nice stallions next door and their little adopted daughter, who happens to be a donkey..."

"And they are noisy, too. They would always wake our daughter up with their ranting, and she was so hurt and scared, she had to crawl into bed with us, like when she was really little, and the trolls were all around our house... But when we went outside to face them - we knew we should be careful, they are really dangerous, but we couldn't take it anymore -  they were already gone."

"But I knew they were still out there", the stallion said, "So I yelled at them, told them they're gonna pay for this, and they just laughed... And then I told them we would send hunters."

"They kept on laughing. But they didn't come back tonight. I think they are scared."

"As they should be", Applejack said with a grim face.

"Eeyup", Big Macintosh said.

They noticed someone at the kitchen door. Half-hidden among the shadows, a young unicorn filly was standing there with a stuffed animal pressed against her chest for comfort. She was only slightly older than Apple Bloom. Her cutie mark, which Apple Bloom noticed with a little sting of shame, glad her own blank flank was hidden by her armor, was shaped like a delicate paint brush.

"Don't worry, sweetie", Applejack gently said, "We will bring these monsters to justice."

"We promise", Rainbow Dash added, and Big Macintosh nodded.

The filly gulped. Underneath her big, sad eyes, a hurt little smile appeared.

"Thank you", she whispered.

-

"This place is really strange", Apple Bloom said.

They had entered the forest, advancing into troll territory. It was a place of overgrown ruins, crumbling buildings and cracked roads. Sometimes, they even discovered things that looked like ancient vehicles.

"Some say the trolls are the last that remains of an ancient and noble civilization", Applejack said. Whispering, because trolls were known for eavesdropping.

"Yeah, right", Rainbow Dash snorted.

"But then they ruined it, because the ignoramuses took over, and that's why it ended up like this."

"Okay, I guess that makes sense", the pegasus admitted.

Big Macintosh suddenly stopped walking.

"What's up, big guy? Found a good spot?"

He nodded. He raised a hoof and pointed to a little clearing, sourrounded by some large rocks.

"Handsome!"

They formed a little circle as they unpacked their things.

"Now for the bait. I'm glad the girl agreed to give us one of her paintings. I'd have hated to play the old straw-drawing game again."

"Straw-drawing?" Rainbow Dash asked, "Usually, you just pick me!"

Applejack shrugged. "What can I say? The trolls like to troll you the most. Even though no troll is trolling you for long, I guess... good thing they never learn. Besides... It's not like I never did my fair share of attracting trolls..."

They placed the painting in the middle of the clearing. Rainbow Dash darted into the sky to prepare the right weather conditions. When she was done, she recieved exactly the reaction from Applejack she had been aiming for.

"Wow there, sugar cube... That, now that is perfection."

"Awww. You know me", she said, pretending to be polishing her hoof.

The entire sky was overcast now, and the humidity in the air was optimal. There was just a tiny hole in the blanket of clouds, and this hole was sending down a beam of moonlight exactly at the painting, making it glow and sparkle.

"What about you guys?", Rainbow Dash asked, "Are you almost finished?"

"Not just almost", Applejack said, pointing to the trees around her. "It's all set."

"Apple Bloom helped a lot", Big Macintosh said, making the foal almost levitate out of pride.

"It's true", Applejack said, "She has some skills for making contraptions, that kid."

After that, all they had to do was to wait.

-

Inevitabely, after barely half an hour, the first shaggy monster appeared, sniffing the air with its acne vulgaris-ridden nose. Even from the ponies' hiding places, the stench was fairly noticable.

The troll looked at the painting.

Suddenly, he uttered a gurgly, lolling sound. He face-hoofed... or whatever it is you do when you have hands instead of hooves. His abdomen was shaking spastically.

By now, his almost unintelligible ranting had turned into a constant stream. How glad Apple Bloom was the young artist wasn't here to wittness this ill-treatment of her work. There was already slobber running down the troll's face.

"Let's strike now", Rainbow Dash whispered, her muscles trembling as she wanted to dart out into the clearing.

"Wait for it", Applejack calmly said.

And really, shortly after that, another troll had joined the first one. It was almost as if they were having a competition, lolling and rofling at each other. And then they started vomiting.

"Now", Applejack said.

The ponies put on their gas masks.

"The first thing you want to do with a troll", Applejack had explained to Apple Bloom earlier, "is to block him."

There was a click, and a little magic dome appeared around the painting, created by an amulet hidden beneath. Twilight Sparkle had made it for them.

Wooden barricades with sugar spikes rose from the bushes, sealing the confused trolls into the little rocky basin.

There was another click. The little clearing was flooded by the light of the glowworm lamps the ponies had installed in the trees. The trolls were blinded and howled in fear.

"Then you want to expose him", Applejack had continued.

When the creatures of the forest saw the monsters standing there in the limelight, the air was filled with their cries of anger and disgust. The trolls were covering their ears with their filthy paws, whining, turning around their own axis, overwhelmed by the barrage of noise, scared and confused out of their tiny minds.

"And then", Applejack had explained, "You and your pals move in for the kill."

As usual, Rainbow Dash was the first to strike, chosing the bigger one of the two trolls.

Her armor was obviously much lighter and aerodynamic than that of her compagnons, but this was compensated by her speed.

"WarrrgGHLolgettifuhkkowtschtupidykbutsch... Orrrrrgh!", her victim hollered.

Being able to move in three dimensions, Rainbow Dash was carrying two weapons that looked like ridiculously large crossbows. They were attached to her chest, and she was operating them with her front legs.

"Lolllovercompenschatingmunch?", the other troll lolled.

These crossbows weren't ranged weapons, however. The pegasus jumped on her target, who was trying to grab her, and then placed her weapons directly on his back. She pulled the triggers.

The troll shrieked something about freedom of speech and how truly tolerant people also had to tolerate intolerance. Then he dropped to the ground, the tips of the spears sticking out of his chest where his nipples used to be. He was rolling on the floor, languishing. Rainbow had hit two of his hearts. Unfortunately, trolls usually have more than that, as the tiny, pathetic little pumps could never do the job alone.

The other troll tried to spray Rainbow Dash with acid, but his aim was somewhat diminished by Applejack hacking at him with a giant sugar sword. Big Macintosh was swinging a katana, the blade so thin it could hardly even be seen by the naked eye. In one go, he severed one of the troll's arms, sending it flying through the air.

Meanwhile, the other troll had gotten up and raised his claw to grab Applejack's flank.

"UhukklykuhntuhIrapaehuuh!"

Without even turning around, Applejack kicked him with her hind legs, which also had two blades on them.

The troll fell down again, tears and snot running down his face, but still spewing his nonsense. Big Macintosh had cut off the legs of the other troll, so this one was taken care of as well.

"Now, Apple Bloom", Applejack said.

And Apple Bloom closed her eyes, and even turned away for good measure.

This had been the only condition. That's where her siblings had drawn the line. It seemed a bit random, now that she thought of it, but somehow it wasn't. She had seen what came before, and she would see what would come after, but this was something she was actually too young for. A bastion of childhood she would preserve, at least for this night.

When her fellow hunters finished the job, it almost didn't make a sound.

-

They went on to examine their first catch of the night.

"Applejack! Hey Applejack! Check this out!"

The workhorse looked at Apple Bloom, who was standing at the other side of the dead troll. The foal was pointing at something.

"He got all kinds of old magazines tucked into the side of his loincloth! What do you suppose he was reading?"

Applejack had a pretty good idea of what the troll had most likely been reading, so she made an exception just this once and decided to lie.

"I dunno. I'd keep my hooves off that trash if I were you, though. In fact, I'd feel better if you stayed away from the general loincloth area altogether. It's filthy. Who knows what sort of things might come crawling out of it and right onto a little filly such as yourself..."

"Why is his loincloth so filthy?"

Applejack was shaking her head. Sure, Apple Bloom wasn't a baby anymore, but there were limits.

"That's not for little fillies, sis."

"Awww! You can tell me..."

"Hehe... No."

Rainbow Dash was counting the growth rings in the troll's bones.

"Yep. This one was ripe for harvesting, alright."

"Sometimes, when they're small, we just slice off their limbs", Applejack informed her sister. "That teaches them a lesson, and their arms and legs and even heads grow back after a while. But when they have become really big and nasty, we have no choice but to end them."

-

They caught another troll about forty minutes later, and were even able to raid a troll cave after that.

The ponies who had welcomed them to the area had told them of strange occurences, troll voices coming seemingly out of nowhere. The hunters had been able to solve that mystery. They had discovered that the ground of the forest was full of little tunnels and natural vents connected to certain caves. When a troll was ranting into one of them, it could transport his voice over quite a distance, to emerge seemingly disembodied in a completely different place. But keeping a cool head and with their ears on the ground, the ponies were able to find one of the nexus caves.

Apple Bloom couldn't watch that last fight because they had insisted she would stay out of the cave, with Rainbow Dash watching over her. She did get a few glimpses, though. One troll, trying to sneak out of the cave to save his hide, got his head split in half by a throw of one of Big Macintosh's battle axes. Disoriented, he didn't get far.

Then the older Apple siblings dragged the rest of the bodies out of the cave.

-

"Puh", Applejack said, "I'm glad that's over with. Even the gas mask didn't really help against that stank."

"Say, Applejack", Apple Bloom wondered, "That's a lot of meat. How are we going to take all of this home? We only have two wagons."

"We only take the first couple o' trolls with us. The rest of the catch we leave for the villagers. We'll just have to drag the bodies to the rim of the forest, the local ponies will take it from there."

They were starteled by an awe-inspiring warcry.

"SUGAR BLADES!"

They ducked as a giant troll was soaring through the air, hitting a crag and then sliding to the ground. His whole body was full of tiny holes. He was already dead.

They turned around. Standing on the hillside in front of them, there was a yellow pegasus mare. She was wearing her own kind of armor, much more elegant and elaborate than their own, clearly the hoofywork of a certain unicorn lady from Ponyville. Between the feathers of her wings, there was the glittering of countless little knifes.

"Fluttershy?!", Apple Bloom exclaimed.

"Howdy, sugar cube", Applejack chuckled. "Nice technique you have there."

"...Oh, hello you two... How wonderful to see you..."

Fluttershy descended into the clearing and briefly hugged the two of them.

"Wow, Fluttershy", Apple Bloom said, "I never would have thought you were hunting. I thought you like all wild creatures..."

"...Wild creatures in general, yes", Fluttershy said, "...Trolls, no. They are nothing but garbadge. At least their meat is useful. I have to feed my carnivores, you see."

Apple Bloom nodded. It was all so obvious now!

"Even the fish she uses", Applejack would tell her later on, "That's actually the severed fingers of swamp trolls."

"And how are you going to bring this ugly fella home, if I may ask?", Apllejack may-asked.

Fluttershy merely nodded towards the troll, and the two other fillies watched in awe as an army of tiny woodland critters gathered around, moving the collossus with their collective strength.

"...Oh, I better get back to work", Fluttershy said, "There is still so much to do!"

She wished them good luck for the rest of their hunt and went looking for Rainbow Dash to say hi.

"Applejack?", Apple Bloom asked, "Why isn't Fluttershy hunting with us?"

"Every hunter is different", her older sister explained. "Fluttershy always hunts alone, if you don't count her little carriers, that is. But she's as fierce a fighter as any of us."

"Rainbow Dash was really going wild back there, too", Apple Bloom said, her voice full of admiration, "It looked like she wanted to slay all these trolls herself."

"It's kind of a personal thing for her. She's had really bad experiences with trolls in the past. So has Fluttershy, for that matter. And me... that's a story for another night."

Applejack was almost done wrapping up their newest prey item.

"No matter how hard you fight, no matter how much of them you end... Some stuff you've breathed in can hurt you for the rest of your life. In dark, lonely hours, it almost feels as if you could still smell it." She smiled. "Ending them still feels pretty good, though."

-

As Applejack had said, the villagers were waiting for them with wagons of their own. Though moderating their praise as not to shame our heroes, it was pretty clear these ponyfolk were looking up to them.

Even the young filly was there. When she saw the piles of butchered trolls, there was a big, big smile on her face, and that was the best thing of all.

With a grim determination, the villagers cut off the heads of the trolls and skewered them on large posts, which they would then place at the rim of their village, the twisted complexions facing the forest.

The sun was already rising when they were done taking care of the meat.

-

The ponies from Ponyville were invited to wash up and sleep at the house of the family who had sent them the letter. They gladly accepted, being way too tired to travel all the way back to their home town this very morning.

Just in time, Rainbow Dash noticed Fluttershy on the horizon, trying to fly home even though the yellow pegasus was so exhausted she couldn't even fly straight.

"Fluttershy! Hey, Fluttershy! Why don't you stay and get some sleep, too?"

The weather pegasus turned to their hosts. "It's fine with you if our friend comes as well, isn't it?"

"Sure! We are glad if we can offer shelter to such a great hunter!"

Rainbow Dash was able to catch Fluttershy and bring her to the cottage.

There, the green earth pony mare took her into her arms.

"Oh Miss Fluttershy! Everyone knows of your exploits. But you're always so secretive, no one ever gets to thank you..."

Fluttershy blushed and tried to hide her head under her wings. She had used up all of her blades. She was covered in sweat and in blood and so exhausted that the others actually had to help her climb out of her gear.

"...I... Oh, you are being very, very kind... It's just... I hunt alone, and..."

"This isn't hunting right now", Rainbow Dash said. "This is us saying that you are our friend, and that we love you. Geez, let's hurry and get some sleep before we turn as sweet as our weapons..."

-

They settled down in the living room, where the two Apple sisters were sharing a blanket. While Rainbow Dash, Big Macintosh and Fluttershy were already sleeping, the two of them were still whispering to each other.

"In different parts of Equestria, you have different evil creatures that are slain for their meat", Applejack said, "There are white elves in the west, goblins and orcs in the east, nazi werewolves in the north, jôles and anti-jôles in the villages of the Barrens... In the general Ponyville area, trolls happen to be the most common."

Apple Bloom huddled herself against her sister, already unable to keep her eyes open.

"You see, Apple Bloom, there are many evil creatures in the world. They're a natural part of life. And so is chopping them down."

"...And that's what we're doing", Apple Bloom mumbled, already half asleep.

Applejack chuckled. "That's right, sweet stuff."

-

The two wagons they had brought were pretty heavy now. Big Macintosh was still able to pull his wagon alone, while Rainbow Dash and Applejack had to share one. Needless to say that Apple Bloom had to walk this time.

When they left, the local ponies were waving at them for a long time. Some funny-minded unicorn even levitated two severed troll arms and used them for waving.

-

-

"...And that's how it went down", Apple Bloom said, grinning from one ear to the other.

The Cutie Mark Crusaders were spending the afternoon at Carousel Boutique.

While Apple Bloom had been telling the story, Opal had finished her meal. The cat was now licking her lips and waddling away from the empty bowl.

Scootaloo was the first to speak.

"You just made that up."

"Uh-uh!", Apple Bloom protested.

"You have to admit, it's a bit hard to swallow", Sweetie Belle added.

"The part with Fluttershy was where you were really laying it thick. Way, way, way out of character!"

"But..."

"It's a great story, though", the orange pegasus filly was quick to concede, "I wish it really was the truth."

"Yeah", Sweetie Belle chuckled, "Imagine we'd go troll hunting together!"

"That would be awesome", Scootaloo agreed, "Cutie Mark Crusaders Troll Hunters! Too bad it will never happen."

Apple Bloom snorted. "I bet you don't believe in trolls because you're a chicken."

"Hey", Scootaloo cried, "Take that back!"

"Alright then, consider it taken", Apple Bloom said with a sly grim, "But now you have to open the present I brought for you, if you dare..."

"I've been wondering why you brought that big bag", Sweetie Belle said.

-"What IS that horrid stench?"

Rarity walked down into the hall, sniffing through the air. She looked at the three fillies.

"Owww... What is it you have brought into my beautiful boutique this time?"

Her eyes fell on Apple Bloom's giant backpack.

"Ahaem, Rarity...", Apple Bloom suggested, "Maybe you want to stay away from this..."

"Nonsense. Before I throw you out today, I might as well see what you have done to deserve it."

The unicorn lady gingerly opened the flap. And started screaming.

She fell down on her rump and started sliding away from the horrid sight in front of her, shaking all over.

Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle rushed to the bag and looked inside. They gasped.

"Well I shall be...!"

"It really WAS true!"

"That is so AWESOME!"

"Ah, you see", Apple Bloom chuckled.

They decided to nail the trophy over the door of their tree house. But Sweetie Belle proposed to leave it on an anthill first for a few hours, so that only the clean skull would remain.

The smell was a bit much, after all.