What Happens in Berry's Pub...

by Waste Bin

Rating: teen
Tags: Main 6, Comedy, Sex, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Berry Punch
Length: 1707

The entire world is horny. And Berry Punch's Pub is where you hear all the juiciest stories.

The entire world is horny. And Berry Punch's Pub is where you hear all the juiciest stories.

Come for the overpriced drink. Stay for the *nudge nudge wink wink.

Published 2021-03-24 02:00:00 UTC
Last updated 2021-03-24 02:00:00 UTC

The Mane Sex

It was very ‘-y’ in Berry’s Pub. It was cozy, it was noisy, and it was awkward.

The ‘-y’ was in the ‘-you know?’

The Mane Six were all sitting at a round table near the bar counter, nursing their drinks and making great effort at not speaking to one another. Applejack swirled her tongue in her mouth the same way Rainbow Dash, spilling out of her seat and into AJ’s lap, was twiddling her hooves and trying not to laugh.

“So let me get this straight: you—” Applejack’s gaze went from an abashed-looking Fluttershy to Pinkie, “wanna do her?” and then back, “But you’re too nervous?”

Fluttershy’s nod was almost imperceptible. Pinkie just grinned.

“And how long have y’all been goin’ out?”

Fluttershy mumbled under her breath. “...Nine months.”

“Nine months, two hours, and fifteen minutes,” Pinkie piped. She grabbed the pint inf front of her with both her forehooves and downed the remaining two-thirds of it in one go. She never stopped smiling.

Everypony in town knows that Applejack’s eyebrows are a thing of legends. One rose very skeptically. “And in that time you haven’t...?” Lowered, lifted. Up and down.

Fluttershy shook her head sadly. “Not once,” she replied, only to go stiff. Pinkie had come up from behind her, wrapped her hooves around her barrel, and started nuzzling behind her ear.

“Gosh,” Applejack gushed. “You must be hella pent-up.”

Fluttershy’s voice was as tense as an iron bar. “You.Have.No.Idea.”

Apparently, that was when Rainbow couldn’t hold it in any longer. “Oh, mare,” she cackled. She grabbed Applejack by the shoulders, almost falling off her stool in the process. “Well, got no problems here. We did it before we even started dating.”

Applejack sighed. On the table, her drink lay untouched while Rainbow’s first mug had been emptied moments after it reached the table. “Rainbow,” AJ warned.

“I mean, what with all the playing on the ground, it was only a matter of time.”

“Rainbow.”

“Who knew she liked getting her—”

“Honestly, Rainbow Dash,” Rarity interjected, uncharacteristically loudly. Applejack sighed in relief and went to take a sip of her drink. “That is hardly something you should be discussing in public.”

Rainbow scoffed. “You oughta know about that, Rarity. You can’t talk about it, but you sure as hay are fine with doing it in public.”

Applejack gave the table a courteous new layering of cider.

“Buh-bpt-b--That’s completely irrelevant.” Rarity stuttered in response. She crossed her forehooves on her chest. “I’ve done no such thing!”

Applejack chuckled. “Yeah.” She flashed a cheeky grin at Rainbow. “At least when we do it in public, we make sure not to get caught.”

Rarity blushed furiously to the chorus of a cackling pegasus. “Applejack! Not you too!”

Pinkie Pie stood up abruptly. She was still grinning. It was actually kind of unnerving, but ponies who knew her were probably used to that. “I’ll be right back,” she said before calmly walking over to the restrooms.

Rarity fanned herself. “I do believe we got a little sidetracked there, didn’t we?”

Applejack laid one look at Rainbow Dash, who was holding back another snicker, and hooved over a jingling bit-bag. “Why don’t you go get us a new round? My treat.”

Rainbow nodded enthusiastically and zoomed off to the counter, where she proceeded to order half-a-dozen ciders and something ‘appley’ for Applejack. “Now then, where were we?”

“In Berry’s Pub,” Twilight replied absentmindedly, which was the first thing she’d said since placing her order.

“We were discussing Fluttershy’s little problem, dear,” Rarity clarified.

Twilight lifted her head from the book she’d brought with her. “Oh? Is it about the animals mating again? Does she need another picture book?”

Applejack slowly turned her head towards Fluttershy and watched the pegasus’ face turn almost as white as Rarity’s. Rarity must’ve seen it too because before anything further could be said, she brushed Twilight underneath her chin. “No, darling, and that’s information you should probably keep to yourself.”

Twilight’s ears pinned against her head. “Oh, uh, sorry.”

“It’s okay, darling.” Rarity kissed her softly. “I love you, but you can be horrendously oblivious sometimes.” She turned from the now-smiling Twilight back to Applejack. “Yes, where were we?”

Applejack pointed at Fluttershy, who was now half-hiding under the table. “‘Shy over there wants to go the whole way but can’t even get off—.”

A little bit more of the tomato-red pegasus vanished underneath its rim. “Oh, my.”

“Figure ‘a speech, sugarcube.”

Rarity put a hoof to her chin. “Maybe you’d feel better if you planned ahead what you were going to do.” Out of the corner of her eye, she stared smittenly at Twilight, who’d gone back to reading. “Having an end goal in mind usually makes it easier to accomplish.”

There was now only a flock of pink hair visible over the rim of the table. “Sugarcube,” Applejack interrupted, “I think the gal has a clear ‘nuff idea what she wants.”

“They could try tantra sex.”

All eyes turned to Twilight. One pair peered from within the shadows.

Applejack’s designated eyebrow did its thing. “Come again?”

“Tantra sex.” Twilight lifted the cover of her Pony Sutra and let everypony see what could only be considered a piece of contortionist art. Reactions were varied: Rarity glared at the cover, Applejack pursed her lips. “Since it’s been so long for them, it could prove to be beneficial. Basically, it’s having sex and trying to withhold from orgasming.”

“Not an issue there.”

“What was that, Rarity?”

“Nothing, darling,” Rarity replied clippedly, seizing Twilight’s glass and downing the entire thing. “Just go back to your book.” She kept rubbing the small of her back.

At that point, Rainbow got back with their drinks. “Who’s doing what now?”

“We were discussing tantra sex,” Rarity replied before Applejack could and seized the farmer’s drink with the ferocity of a desert-borne zebra.

“Oh yeah, we do that too.” Rainbow chuckled. “We do the do, and then she throws a tantrum. Apparently, ten seconds flat isn’t long enough for her.”

Applejack grumbled under her breath. “I shoulda known. What else could you expect from the fastest pegasus alive?”

“Hey.” Rainbow clonked the tray on the table, with minimal spillage. “It’s not about how long you last, it’s about how good it makes you feel!”

“No, Rainbow, it ain’t, darn it!” Applejack leered back at her. “It’s not about how good you feel, but how others feel too!”

The two butted heads together, gritting their teeth. There came huffing, squinting eyes. Everypony present, the most oblivious and uninitiated aside, could have seen where it would eventually lead: their hooves would come up, finding each other’s cheek, their gazes would soften, their eyes beginning to flutter shut, and the rest should probably be left behind closed doors. This time it didn’t get to that because Fluttershy spoke up.

“How can you say that?”

They all paused, except for Twilight, who’d seemingly moved on from techniques to positions. Fluttershy climbed out from under the table, glaring at everypony. “How can you say things like that to your special somepony?”

Rarity looked around the table. Everypony’s gazes were going from one another, and they were all shrugging. “I’m not sure I understand, darling,” she replied, “we’re all friends here. Sure, we do bicker from time to time, but that doesn’t mean you’re not in good company.”

“Yes, but…” Fluttershy began to shrink again, her moment of courage fading. “Doesn’t anypony find this at all awkward? Aren’t any of you nervous?”

Rarity looked pensive for a moment. “No, not everypony does, darling. Everypony’s different, and there’s nothing wrong with being nervous.” She smiled comfortingly. “But being nervous and not wanting to do it are two completely different things.”

Rarity stepped off her seat, found her way over, and placed a hoof on Fluttershy’s shoulder. “How long have you known Pinkie?”

“Seven years,” Fluttershy mumbled quietly.

Rarity pushed the pegasus’ chin up. “And has she ever done any harm to you?”

“Oh, goodness no! Pinkie would never do that!”

“Then what’s the problem?”

Fluttershy tried to shy away from under Rarity’s gaze, but her friend didn’t let her. “It’s my first time,” she finally admitted.

Rarity didn’t laugh, or hum or anything. She merely nodded and waited for Fluttershy to look at her again. “And you’re nervous. You’re scared you can’t—satisfy her? Is that it?” The pegasus nodded weakly. “I think you should tell her, darling.”

“B-but what will Pinkie Pie think?”

Rarity tittered coyly. She took a page off Applejack’s Almanac and nudged her eyebrow at something behind Fluttershy. “I think she’s happy to hear that.”

Fluttershy spun around.

Pinkie Pie was standing there, dripping water. Cold water. Or it most likely had once been before it had hit her skin. Somehow, her hair was still poofy, and her gaze warm.

“Pinkie,” Fluttershy jabbered, “I’m sorry I didn’t say anything sooner. I hope you’re not mad.”

Pinkie hopped over and booped Fluttershy on the nose. “No, you silly goose!” she giggled. “It’s my first time too.”

Fluttershy’s face widened. “But Pinkie, aren’t you at all nervous?”

Pinkie smiled. It was completely different from the way it had been all day. It was genuinely not creepy for the first time ever.

“Not anymore.”

The two quite literally carried each other out the pub door. Everypony present unanimously filed that in Pinkie’s tally. Not much later, there came many a joyful sound from the outdoors, ending on soft murmurs and exclaimed coos.

They hadn’t even made it into town, but they sure were going to town on one another.

Rarity, Twilight, Rainbow, and Applejack were left finishing their drinks, which they did in a timely manner, before filing out. As the door shut behind the last of the six, Berry Punch shook her head. “The kinds of ponies I get.”

Berry looked across the counter. “Oh, hey,” she greeted happily, her eyes alighting. “I don’t think I’ve seen you here before.”

But the longer she kept looking, the more her brow furrowed. “Though you three look a little young to be in here...”

Author's Note

Thanks for reading. I'll probably add more chapters to this every now and then when inspiration strikes.