Derpy Daze

by Daffy

Rating: everyone
Tags: Slice of Life, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Random, Adventure, Derpy Hooves
Length: 2764

Derpy has a jam packed day full of adventure, danger, and lots of muffins!

Join Derpy on her delivery adventure and discover the lossons hidden within!

Published 2021-03-16 02:40:01 UTC
Last updated 2021-03-22 00:07:57 UTC

Terrifically Terrible Track

Hours passed, the sun set and the moon rose and fell. Derpy snored on an on waiting for the Manehattan bound train. "CHOO...CHOO!" It was the Manehattan train!

"Ugh, so loud." Derpy was half awake as she swung up from the wildly uncomfortable seat.

The doors of the train opened with a whoosh and a tall stallion with a long white burly beard peered his head out and took a deep breath, "ALLLL ABOARD!" Derpy, stumbling over herself, slowly made her way to the train whilst wobbling to and fro.

"You alright there, Miss? Need some help?" Before Derpy could even answer, she slammed herself straight into the side of the shiny train, dropped all her belongings, and left an impressively detailed faceprint on the side of the train. The Conductor, needing no further invitation, helped her up and took her to a seat. "That was a mighty fine face slam back there, maybe the best one I've seen in my career." For some reason the Conductor looked proud of this, "No need to fret at all my dear, happens alllllll the time. You wouldn't believe how often ponies ram straight into the side of this here train."

Derpy slowly coming back to reality after a not so wonderful time in dreamland shook her head frantically like there was a bug she was trying to scare off. "Oopsies." She would have said something like "I'm oh so sorry mister," or "I'm so grateful for your help!" followed by a charming smile that no pony else could reproduce, but she was so dazed that even 'Oopsies' was far too taxing.

The Conductor got the message, somehow, and carried along to the front of the train. "What a delightful young mare." Chimed the burly bearded Conductor on his way out.

With a start of the engines the train was off and Derpy was finally grounded in reality and ready to tackle the day. "If only I didn't tell that mare about three-day delivery," She was still mournful over what she saw as a ridiculous mistake. "The train is only just now leaving the station and that means I'm barely making it out of Ponyville... of all the worst things to happen this takes the muffin... or is cake... oh I'm so frazzled I don't even know anymore!"

A half hour of smooth "Chug's and Cho's" later a snack cart rolled by and Derpy bought out the trolly pony's stock of cupcakes and muffins, as she sees it cupcakes are just fancy muffins. Just as she goes for a bite there's a loud screech and the entire train halts, "NOO! My MUFFIN!" Unfortunately the sudden stop absolutely decimated her muffin. "I-I will never forget you!" The other passengers on the car could not tell if she was acting or not, but regardless they all scooched just a tad bit further away from the pony who was bawling her eyes out over a muffin.

With a loud crackle a microphone turned on "Hello, Fillies and Gentlecolts! This is your conductor speaking, we have a minor issue, the track ahead has been damaged and is being repaired, so we will be stopping at Foal Mountain. We should be back on track within the next two hours, meanwhile feel free to stretch your legs."

Derpy's eyes widened and jaw dropped as she nearly dropped every single sumptuous pastry she'd bought just minutes before. She thought to herself, "I can't wait two whole hours! I'll never get this envelope there on time at this rate!"

She pulled out her map from her satchel and plotted the best corse. "If I go straight through here I can make it just in time, only problem is... Hollow Shades." The legends say Hollow Shades is a town contained within a thick forest with an unbelievably dense canopy. Nobody dares to enter but the desperate or the foolish, or at least that's what they say. Derpy may be foolish at times but as of now she's just desperate.

Author's Note

Hope you enjoyed the second chapter, can't wait to see how this goes :scootangel: !

This follows a slightly non-canon version of Hollow Shades.

Windy Skys

"Alright Derpy, it's just an old mare's tale, no need to work yourself up!" Despite her efforts to calm herself down, she was only working herself up. "Deep breaths... deep breaths. No need to start twilighting." (Princess Twilight's overreactions have become famous around Equestria, resulting in a new phrase called 'twilighting').

Calming down, albeit a difficult task, was one that Derpy accomplished after many deep breaths. She collected her satchel, her muffins, her hat, and she set her course for the door of the cabin. "In...... and out." With a loud bang she slammed the door open, clearly not expecting it to open so smoothly, and fluttered off the train.

"It's so pretty." Derpy had never been so close to the Foal Mountains. They glistened with the radiance of a gem covered in beautiful light green trees which harbored the cutest creatures anypony could imagine. "Too bad I can't just stay here." Hooves was completely flabbergasted. Besides the other passengers who were all just as amazed, there was no pony.

"Well here we go." She flapped her wings and began to take off with a goal in mind and a route planned.

A pink pegasus with a Hawaiian shirt and a big cowboy hat, remaniciant to that of applebuckers, hurriedly rushed over, "Oh I wouldn't do that If I were you, Lass. Wind be too strong up there, ya' wouldn't make it halfway over the ridge fore ya' crashed."

Derpy was desperate, and sometimes a fool, but she wasn't an absolute moron. She slowed her flaps and descended. Curious as to what the mare had to say, Derpy asked "Are ya' sure?"

"Oh absolutely. Says here in 'The Pegasus's Guide to the Equestrian Skys' that the wind up at flyin' hight is so strong that only 4 ponies have ever done it, and they was all Wonderbolts."

"Okay... I guess I'll just walk, does it say when I can fly again?"

"Let me check for ya'. Oh here it is, accordin' to my book ya' can start flyin' at the outskirts of the forest on the other side of the mountain. I'd reckon that's about and hour and a half if you're quick."

"Okily Dokily, thanks..."

"Lilly B."

"Thanks Lilly." Derpy trotted away with a shower of dust trailing behind her.

As the sun got slightly higher Derpy presumed that about an hour had passed and she would likely reach the summit before long. The trees passed by with an ominous feeling that something was changing other than the altitude.

"A sign? 'Beware all ye pony folk'... whatever that means, I don't like the sound of that, but I'm almost at the summit, soon I'll just be able to fly my way and be there in the nick of time." The birds didn't seem to mind the sign and kept on singing as nothing had happened. Almost ten minutes passed when she saw it, the part of her journey she dreaded most. She would have to go through Hollow Shades all on her own. Without wings.

Dark Despair

Derpy Let out a loud "Gulp". Just steps away trees of darkness and foreboding loomed far above Derpy. The grass rustled in the wind in somehow creating a noise neither calming nor frightening. It was as if the world was both still and moving, monotone and colorful, wide and small. She had never experienced such fright as she did standing still on the edge of the forest.

With a single step forwards she knew she couldn't go back, it was far too late for that. Step after step, crunching the leaves below her, she made progress towards the end goal; leaving this horrid place. "Crack!" From where the crack came is the question; Derpy looked left and right, up and down, but nothing was to be seen except darkness and trees.

Derpy - fearful of her life, her muffins, and her delivery - croaked out a horace, "Who's there," before the darkness once again grasped at Derpy rendering her voiceless with fright. "Step and Step and Step..." Repeating this simple phrase in her head kept her going, albeit barely.

Looking behind her, Derpy could she that she had made considerable progress into the forest. At this point she reasoned that she must be a quarter to a third of the way in by now. If she ever had a chance to run and high tail her way back to the train, or even ponyville, that chance was long since gone.

The leaves rustled, but not in the same way as they did before, no this was different. Something was making them rustle other than the wind. Within a millisecond it was as if there was no sound anywhere: the rustling of the grass and leafs, the hum of bugs, and the indistinct croaking of an animal far off, they were all gone.

About 30 Meters away Derpy felt like she could make something out, a figure of some kind, but with the darkness that enveloped the forest due to the impossibly thick canopy, there was no way to be sure what it was yet. Whether it be lucky or not for Derpy, whatever it was laid only steps away. The closer she got, the more it resembled a pony.

Uncertain, Derpy looked around the darkness before continuing forwards. It was all clear except for the figure. As she got nearer and nearer, she could make out wings and a pointed smile. The only ponies Derpy could imagine would fit that description were the ponies she feared most: Vampire Ponies! She fell down to the ground in fear, forelegs covering her head.

Shivering in fear Derpy peered up to look for an exit, some way out - any way out, but she couldn't see a thing. All she could see was darkness and figures appearing all around her. She was clearly surrounded and the gravity of this situation was grave. Fear overcame her and consciousness slipped away to the aether.

Hour, days, or even months could have passed for Derpy was unaware as to which it was, for her any of the options were bad. She opened her eyes, and although the light was dim she could see. Grasping her surroundings it was clear that this was not where she lost consciousness.

"Am I in a hut?" Derpy hadn't been this confused in her life.

Author's Note

This was definitely slower than the last chapters but I think this leads to what will be one of the best sections of this story.

Poor Design

Derpy awoke on a greyish cot which lacked much comfort, the last thing she could remember was a figure surrounding her.

"Hello... anyone there?"

There was no answer. Derpy reckoned that it was probably for the best that she didn't see her captors. She swiveled her head looking for the door but saw nothing, unlike earlier in the forest it was not pitch black so she could in fact see quite well. A slight whistling sound could be heard yet Derpy couldn't see anypony.

Out of nowhere "CRASH!" Derpy was sprawled out on the ground with a yellow pony atop her. In a quite dazed state, which now seemed to be a norm for her, she let out a nearly inaudible "ow."

"Sorry there, Dear. Came through the 'door' a might too fast. You wouldn't believe me if I told you that's never happened before but I swear it's true." Clearly this pegasus pony was lying but Derpy, still unable to breathe, had a more pressing issue.

She croaked horacely "Please....get....off."

"Oh I'm sorry!" The pony jumped off Derpy's back and she could finally breathe. Whilst Derpy layed on the floor groaning in pain, struggling to regain her air, the assailant from the sky went on about nonsensical stories. She talked on and on about everything and as Derpy could now very well understand the reasoning of, her name was Gabby, Gabby Twinkleshine to be exact.

"And then there was this time she ate the whole sofa with a fork, like the whole thing. Even the fork." Albeit an interesting story, Derpy had a mission, one that couldn't bennifit from staying there any longer.

"Pardon, but where's the exit?"

"Straight up, I always thought they should move it closer to the ground but noooooo. Patty always has to have it her-"

"Thanks." Dispite knowing how rude it was to interrupt she did so anyways, had she not this pony would've gone on for hours.

"Wait! Before you go out there you should know, I'm a pony just like you but the other ponies aren't. They're something else to be sure but they're friendly so don't freak out or anything "

Derpy already knew something was off, as dense as she could be that was saying something, but this like the final pin. She figured that if she ran fast enough she couldn't get caught.

Derpy replied, "I had a pretty good idea already, but thanks."

She looked around the hollow giant oak, which looked awfully in need of a new paint job and some furniture, and spotted a ladder up to the door. In Derpy's eyes it was truly the pinicle of poor design. She climbed up the ladder somewhat awkwardly due to the lack of proper securing to the ground.

The door croaked and she saw the inside of the dark foreboding canopy which now seemed less terrifying. Ponies with wings and sharp teeth walked about in what looked like the town square buying and selling, taking and frolicking, to be sure this still terrified Derpy but somehow it felt different, these were just ponies too.

Mustering up her courage she frolicd off to the center of town, ready to face her fear. She could spare a few more minutes.

A Delivery at Last

Derpy Hooves, employee of the month for the Equestrian Postal Service (EPS), sat at the front desk of the office waiting to greet customers. Usually there were hundreds of packages waiting to be delivered, but today there hadn't been even a single one and the sun was almost straight above.

"It's almost noon, yet I'm still stuck here... waiting... and waiting." Derpy paused for a moment then sighed loudly, "Ughhh, this is terrible! What could be keeping ponies from sending mail?" To Derpy this was an absolute anomaly. After almost 2 hours of additional waiting Derpy fell asleep, bored to sleep by the lack of mail.

"Helloooo... You awake?!"

"Ahh, muffins!" Derpy was terrified, "I'm up. I'm up." As Derpy wiped her groggy eyes, which were still foggy from a good nap, she took a look around but couldn't see anypony.

The customer seeing her confusion stated, in a monotone manner, "Down here."

Derpy shifted her eyes over the lip of the counter and saw a short pony with a beautiful purple mane and a dashing cyan coat. After realizing she'd been staring at the other pony for too long Derpy replied, "Oh. How can I help ya'?"

"Well I've got this package I'd like delivered. "

"Okie, I'll just take that from ya' and have it there within the next two weeks."

Upon hearing this the cyan coated customer looked quite displeased and worried, "A whole two weeks? Are you sure you can't get it there by sunday?"

"That's three-day delivery, it'll take an extra 5 bits, but sure thing."

"Oh thank Celestia! You're an absolute lifesaver! It's my sister's birthday on sunday, and I NEED this to get to her." The customer laid the 7 bits and walked towards the exit.

"Byeee!" With a ring of the door the customer was gone and Derpy Had a mission. As she read the location she had to deliver to, she immediately regretted telling the pony that there was three day delivery. "Manehattan?!" While she HAD wanted a delivery, she didn't want a delivery this far away. "It's Thursday evening and there's not a second to lose, I've got to go, and fast!"

Derpy took the envelope, grabbed her delivery satchel, and darted out the door towards the train station. She was moving so fast that she was only a blur.

Upon arrival she sat down, no point in being uncomfortable, she thought. "Well... more waiting...."

Author's Note

This is a short first chapter but I hope people enjoyed it!