Detective Rarity and The Missing Pincushion
Ponyville used to be a lovely little town. Its small businesses and incredible restaurants always struck my particular fancy. Unfortunately, there is no denying how far down Ponyville has gone. For as much as it pains me to admit, I must confess: Ponyville has become a town of crime.
You can practically smell the criminals and their unwashed filthiness. There was a time when you could go for an afternoon stroll with your door unlocked and your saddlebags hung loosely around your back. Now you can’t go five seconds without some bastard flipping through your bags like a rabid dog, hungry to take your well-earned belongings. Well, I can’t stand for it any longer! If I’m the only pony that can clean some of this dirt off the once peaceful town, then so be it! Detective Rarity will be this town’s savior, champion of safety and pincushions. For a theft most savage has been struck against me last night: my prized red pincushion that cost 15 bits was stolen during my lunch break, and I won’t stop until I-
“Uh, Rarity? Who are you talking to?” Fluttershy asked as she came into the living room from her kitchen, balancing a small tea set on her back.
“Oh, nothing dear. Just thinking thoughts darling, just thinking thoughts.” Be more careful Rarity! You mustn’t let her get a grasp on what your true intentions of this visit are.
“Oh, uh… okay.” The pegasus squinted at the unicorn. “But… why are you wearing that trench coat? And that fedora?”
Darn it, she’s on the cusp of figuring everything out! I must figure out something quickly. Rarity produced an incredibly forced laugh as she wiped her eyes for non-existent tears. “Oh Fluttershy, I always wear these costumes. Don’t you know that about me?”
Fluttershy blinked, her mind struggling to comprehend her friend’s strange behavior. “Uh, well not exactly, but I guess if… you want to wear it then that’s fine with me too.” She finished it off with a nervous smile before quickly setting down the tea set on the small coffee table.
Well done Rarity! Another amazing bout of charisma to get out of a tough situation. With those types of moves, you’ll get her to croak in no time!’
The unicorn smiled as she took the kettle in her magic and poured it into a pink china teacup. “Well, Fluttershy, thank you for inviting me to your house. I must say, it is quite relaxing to get away from all the stress this day has caused me.”
Fluttershy sat down on the other side of the table, took her own tea, and began to sip daintily, careful not to burn her mouth. “Well, I didn’t invite you. You actually invited me here. To my own house.” Fluttershy frowned in concern. “But you said that you’re stressed. Is it because of the Boutiques? Is the work overwhelming you? I could help you if you want.”
Rarity waved a dismissive hoof while sipping her own tea. “Oh, it’s not that Fluttershy, I assure you. Well, not exactly. You see, it’s… uh Fluttershy, darling? This needs sugar.”
Fluttershy gasped in absolute horror. “OH! I’m sorry! Uh… Mr. Cheese!” the distraught pegasus shouted to the kitchen. Well, not really shouted, more like a really loud and polite whisper. “Can you get some sugar cubes for our guest?”
Little does she know this all just a clever ruse. I’ll lower down her guard, let her get comfortable, and then, when she least expects it, expose her for the thief she is! I must admit, I’m still unsure exactly why Fluttershy would do such a thing, but it matters not. I shall get to the bottom of this soon enough! I just have to wait for the perfect chance…
“AH! Thank you, you handsome little mouse you.” The light grey mouse bowed as it handed three small sugar cubes to Rarity before scurrying off.
“Well Fluttershy, there has been something bugging me recently,” Rarity said as she began placing the sugar into her tea through magic.
“Oh?” Fluttershy murmured.
“Well, something happened yesterday and, oh it’s just dreadful!” Rarity pretended to faint on the couch, barely concealing her smile from the worried Fluttershy. The tea floated right next to her head, just in case if she wanted another sip of the now sugary liquid while pretending.
Fluttershy set down her tea and leaned forward with an almost motherly smile. “Oh Rarity, you do seem pretty sad today. You can tell me what’s going on, and I’ll try to help you in whatever way I can.”
Rarity looked up at Fluttershy with irresistible puppy dog eyes, her lip quivering to really seal the deal. “Y-you’d really do that f-for little old me?”
Fluttershy nodded, stretching her hooves across the coffee table to comfort Rarity. Sure, Rarity didn’t hold her hoof back, but she could at least respect the effort. Except for the fact that Fluttershy was a no-good thief who took her red pincushion behind her back.
Rarity sat back up, her crying farce no longer needed. She couldn’t help but chuckle, which probably hurt her chances of surprising Fluttershy, but she didn’t care. Fluttershy didn’t know what exactly was going on, so she just chuckled along with Rarity, hoping her confusion would solve itself.
“Heh, uh Rarity? Why are you laughing? I mean… I’m sure it’s for a good reason but I just.. don’t know what that is.”
Rarity wiped a metaphorical tear from her eye and stared the yellow pegasus down. “Why Fluttershy, you should know what I’m laughing about. After all, you were the one who STOLE MY PINCUSHION!”
Following that dramatic outburst, Rarity shot up from the chair and positioned her teacup in a throwing motion towards the terrified Fluttershy. However, she soon realized that would probably ruin the admittedly well-kept floor and simplistic yet inviting wooden chair the pincushion thief was currently cowering on. So instead, she opted for gently putting down the teacup on the coffee table, then shooting out an accusatory hoof at the pegasus. “STOLE MY PINCUSHION!”
Fluttershy gasped in horror. She’s been doing that a lot lately it seems. “R-rarity? I don’t really know what you’re getting at here.”
Still refusing to confess it seems. Don’t worry, I have plenty of time to get you to fess up.
“Hmph! Don’t act like you don’t know what I’m on about! You took my red pincushion, and you’re going to tell me why! And wherever you put it!”
Fluttershy did neither of those things. Instead, she continued to tremble against her wooden chair, threatening to send it tumbling down onto the floor below. Rarity scratched her head. Good going Rarity. You scared the poor thing half to death! Now she can’t tell you she’s a thief. Let’s just bring it back a little bit, lower the intensity, and start from there.
“Uh, Fluttershy? Darling uh, I’m dreadfully sorry about what just happened. I was just mad and, well, I guess I gave way into intensity. Now can you please tell me why you stole my pincushion, you dirty thief?”
Okay, maybe a little more intense
“TELL ME WHERE YOU PUT THE PINCUSHION, YOU LIAR!”
This isn’t working
Rarity took a deep breath, and finally settled on a voice that was authoritative, yet controlled. She began to pace around the coffee table, head held high while she began to incriminate Fluttershy with irrefutable evidence.
“Well Fluttershy, at around 1:00 yesterday, I went to take a lunch break. While you were still in the boutique! I asked you if you would like to eat with me, but you said no, you already ate! You said you would just like to browse around! But I know what your true game was Fluttershy! To steal my pincushion! Besides, I only heard my door open once, and when I came back from my daisy sandwich with extra mayo, you weren’t there! This only further proves your guilt. I would just like to… uh… know why…”
As I turned to look at the quivering pegasus, I saw something that frightened me to no end. Fluttershy was no thief. She is too kind to steal anything, no matter how small it may be. Just the mere accusation of her thieving leaves her in tears. If she really did steal it, she would come crying sorry to me in a matter of seconds. As if to further prove my fault, as I turned around to her kitchen, I noticed a family of mice quivering in fear, scared over the well-being of their caretaker. I made a terrible mistake indeed.
I apologized profusely to the poor Fluttershy. She accepted it with a smile and told me we all act on our emotions and drama sometimes, and how we can’t let that affect others. Yet, it did nothing to heal the aching in my heart. With my head hung low and stylish fedora on my back, I made my leave. I played the role of Shadow Spade too long, and it only served to hurt those I care about.
“Although, if you agree to calm down Rarity, I could maybe tell you something that would help you in your search,” Fluttershy quietly called after Rarity.
… A new fire raged in my soul, yearning for new information. The culprit would be found after all, with help from this new information from foe turned friend Fluttershy.
Rarity whipped her head around, her hat magically levitating back on her head. Rarity wore a smug smile as she tilted the hat down low. “Oh, do tell Fluttershy. Do tell!”
Fluttershy’s spill definitely helped me in this investigation. Now I know who to question next, and I’m one step further to finding out where my precious pincushion is. However, as many doors are closed, many more are left open. Why would a pony decide to steal my pincushion? In my own house? And why her? She has no motive to exact hostility towards me… or does she? How deep does this hole go? I must investigate further, or my name isn’t-
“-Rarity Belle!”
“Quiet down there, will ya?”
“Sorry!”
“GIVE ME BACK MY PINCUSHION YOU RUFFIAN!”
The mint mare at the door just raised an eyebrow. “Uh, what are you yelling about?”
“Oh, um,” Rarity mumbled, brushing her hoof on the steps in embarrassment, “I kind of meant that for-”
“For Bon Bon, right?” The unicorn in the weird trench coat nodded. Lyra sighed. “Okay, well first off, I don’t know what this whole pincushion thing is about or what my fiance has to do with this weird detective thingy you got going on here, but hey. You do you.
“And second, you won’t find her here.”
“Oh? And why is that?”
“Because it’s the afternoon! You know she has a candy store to run! If you have a problem with her, tell her there or something. Now if you excuse me, I would like to return to my afternoon nap.”
“GIVE ME BACK MY PINCUSHION YOU RUFFIAN!”
“Hey there Rarity!” said Bon Bon with a smile as sweet as the candies she sold. The smile was quickly replaced with a concerned frown. “Can I help you with something?”
“HA! More like help yourself! For you see, a little bird told me that you came into my boutique yesterday during my lunch break. However, I didn’t see you when I came back into the main room, or hear the bell ring when you left! So tell me, how did you do it? How did you steal my pincushion and GET AWAY WITH IT?”
Bon Bon sighed. Could she go one day without meeting a yelling customer? She didn’t even understand what Rarity was yelling about.
“Okay Rarity, I… dont exactly know what you’re yelling at me about, but you’re scaring the customers. If you were so intent on accusing me of, uh, whatever you’re accusing me of, why did you wait in line? It’s out the door!”
Rarity stuck her nose up to prove she was better than the thief that sat behind the counter before her. She also seemed to be oblivious to all the glares she was receiving from the ponies in line behind her. “Because unlike you, I actually abide by the law!”
“Uh, okay then. Well, I don’t really know what you want me to say here.”
“That you stole my pincushion when you went to my boutique yesterday!”
Bon Bon scratched the back of her head, trying to figure out what Rarity was going on about. “Yeah okay, I didn’t steal anything. I did go to your boutique yesterday though. I went to th-”
“So you admit your guilt! I knew it all alo-”
“NO!” Bon Bon shouted in frustration. “I went to the bathroom while I waited for you to come out. After I was done, I saw you at your desk with your mouth open and mind in a trance. I yelled at you and you just wouldn’t listen. So I left. How does that sound?”
Rarity put a hoof in front of her face to cough, probably to shield her blushing cheeks from the tan earth pony in front of her. “Yes, well, the tragedy of the pincushion struck me as a great shock.” Rarity shook her head to recover before accusing Bon Bon once again."Well, what would you possibly show up at my boutique for? I don't remember scheduling a meet with you?"
"Really? Because I distinctly remember us deciding to meet with each other to design new candy wrappers for Nightmare Night."
"Oh... well I do seem to recall that particular transaction of words suddenly..."
Bon Bon facehooved and pointed her free hoof towards the door. “Now can you go and stop making my customers uncomfortable?” The ponies all stared at Rarity, waiting for her to leave so they could return to their normal day.
When you fight a battle, it is important to know when you must pull out of a losing one. Bon Bon’s will is strong, but I’ll find a way to crack her yet. But for now, I’ll give her this one.
“Hmph! Fine, I’ll leave you alone… for now. But I’ll be back! Your guilt is so apparent I can taste it!” With her head held high and her humility left in the wind, Rarity stormed out of the candy store.
The line of ponies cheered, elated the disruption had finally come to end. “Sorry everypony,” Bon Bon apologized. “I don’t know what was wrong with Rarity today, so I’d like to give you all free Nougurt Bits for your trouble!”
The ponies cheered even harder.
Unfortunately, I was unable to solve the case right there at the store. It’s disappointing, but no matter. I’ll find out what Bon Bon is hiding eventually, and when I do, oh how I’ll laugh with victory. Still, what if Bon Bon really is telling the truth? I must look for another suspect, just in case. But who? Was there anypony else in the boutique with me yesterday? Think Rarity, think! Don’t let this large crowd of ponies undermine your thinking capabilities…
...wait. There was somepony else with Fluttershy. I was so focused on Fluttershy, I totally missed the other one! But who could it possibly be? What was I doing with Fluttershy? I was… making her a dress, that I know. But for what? ...A-HA. For a flight school reunion, she said. So who else would be with- oh. Oh-ho-ho-ho! Well Rainbow my dear, it looks like you have been caught! After I relax with a bit of Ice Cream, you best be sure to get a good questioning. For I am Detective Rarity, and I will solve this case!
Rarity was now at the door of her boutique, and she was now rummaging through the pockets in her trench coat for the key.
“Eugh! Now, where is that blasted key? It’s been a busy day, and I’ve been dreaming of some-”
“Hey, Rarity! I need to talk with you! Now!”
That voice. Well, well, well. Looks like the investigated has come to the investigator.
Rarity turned around to face the cyan pegasus, her eyelashes fluttering in an innocent manner. “My, my, Rainbow Dash. What brings you to my humble abode so late in the day?”
The blue pegasus was hovering only a foot off the ground and a couple of feet away from Rarity. She wore a stern expression, her wings flapping in a stiff motion. There was no mistaking it: she was angry.
“First off, it’s early afternoon. And second, I just talked to Fluttershy. She told me all about your little chat you had with her earlier.”
“Oh, did she now?” Rarity replied nonchalantly, fixing her magnificent curls. “What do you have to say about it?”
Rainbow Dash shook her head as if warding off some unseen demon. “Rarity, I’m not going to play your games.”
‘My games?” Rarity looked offended. “Why Rainbow, can’t a mare find one of her lost belongings in peace?”
“But you’re NOT finding it in peace. It’s a pincushion Rarity! And you’re being so dramatic over it.” Rainbow Dash was now inched away from Rarity’s face, who was now leaning against her boutique’s door in fear.
“You always do this Rarity. You find a little thing and you just get so overdramatic about it! Because when you get this stupid, you start doing stupid things to everypony around you without realizing it! This needs to stop.”
“Well, I guess I was being a touch overdramatic, now that you bring it to my attention.”
“A TOUCH?”
“Okay, I was being very overdramatic. I guess I was reading a bit too much Shadow Spade last night. I wasn’t seeing things very clearly, I suppose.”
Rainbow Dash shook her head. “No, you weren’t. Sometimes it helps, like what you did for me with Wind Rider. But other times, you just need to calm down.”
Rarity smiled somberly and nodded. “Yes, I suppose you’re right. Fluttershy warned me to keep my calm, but I didn’t listen. I suppose this is divine justice.”
Rainbow Dash blinked. “Uh, yeah. I don’t know what that means, but I’m guessing that’s a good thing. Just… take a chill pill you. Seeya.” With that, Rainbow Dash flew off, leaving Rarity alone at the entrance of her boutique.
What a terrible day it has been. Rainbow is right. I have been too dramatic today, and it has cost me my friendships. Well, not exactly, but it has probably strained them from here on out. How could I be so blind to my own ambitions? How could I not see the effects they had on the ones I cared about?
Only bottomless tubs of Ice Cream at my desk can keep my sanity in check after such a long, long day. Will I ever find my happiness again? Will I ever climb out of this bottomless hole of depression into the sunlight of friendship. As I toss a tub into the trash next to my desk, I reach for another Vanilla… wait. What is that red thing I see at the bottom.
I quickly tear the tub of Ice Cream away from the trash and grab the red ball with a trembling hoof. Nay, it can’t be. It mustn't. And yet… it is! It’s the pincushion I spent all day searching for with reckless abandonment! It was here the while time, sitting patiently in my bin. I was so blind I couldn’t even check the trash.
Now I remember, I remember with Rainbow and Fluttershy yesterday afternoon. I must have knocked it over into the trash. Bon Bon was just a coincidence. Neither of them should have been involved, yet I gave into the peak of emotions without looking at the big picture.
Oh the irony! The horror! My trench coat feeling heavy on my body. Why am I still wearing this foul thing. It no longer gives me satisfaction, but only pain. Pain from lost friendships. Go away! Go away you! Leave me in my ironic misery, leave me alone! The red pincushion sits in my hooves, mocking me. It’s an inexpensive thing really. Easily replaceable. Why must I get so worked up on it?
I send it crashing against the wall. Go away you villain. Leave me in peace. Yet it strays, and i can’t take it any longer!
“AUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHH!” The sound dramatically sounded out of the Boutique, and forward into the town of Ponyville.
