An Equestrian Rogue

Thorne stood outside in the dockyard a free man. Or as free as he could be. He inhaled deeply, instilling himself with the scent of the musty buildings that stewed in the salty breeze and the life of the city behind him.

Next to him stood the fetchingly-dressed stallion named Page Turner. Thorne expected him to be named ‘Free Press’ and after making such a joke, was informed that ‘Free Press’ was actually the lead writer for the ‘Daily Trot’. It wasn’t a two-bit rag, but apparently it had a ‘reputation’ for publishing more scandalous articles. All the more reason why Mister Turner had leapt at the opportunity to actually get a story none of the bigger names in journalism had been informed of.

Thorne saw it as an opportunity to get into the good graces of the nation and its people. Turner had offered to buy him breakfast and a coffee in exchange for details regarding Thorne’s past and his world. Thorne swiftly countered that he would agree to details regarding his world--at least the more positive details--and that his past would be more of a synopsis. He didn’t want an autobiography nor did he want to unload upon the populace a story that would make him reviled.

Though the thought of an autobiography did fill him with a bit of whimsy. Of course the entire world, now that they were walking down the sidewalk, seemed to be full of it. Colorful ponies in either nothing at all or decked out in high fashion roamed the streets in the mid-morning heat. Thorne had asked about the weather to Mr. Turner only to be told that it was just after the Summer Sun Celebration--which when pressed on it, told Thorne it was when the princesses made a grand spectacle of raising and lowering their respective sky-bound charges.

Now Thorne had a timetable for when he had arrived in this world. And it seemed to run parallel to his. It was just after the first week in July when he found himself in Equestria. It also gave him a rather specific holiday to denote when his death may occur should he not fulfill his summoned obligation.

Every now and again as they strode rather quietly to the diner Page had mentioned, Thorne would turn his head and spy in the distance two of the royal guards tailing them. He paid it little mind. So long as he didn’t break any laws or give them reason to suspect him, he was just a human in another world with nothing to his name but a toga and a friendly face.

“You know, I’ve given it some thought, Page--may I call you Page?” Thorne broke the silence, his head angling down to look at the unicorn stallion.

“You may!” Page responded cheerfully. “What were you pondering, Thorne?”

“If you give me a few bits--hear me out--if you do, I could buy myself a little journal. I’ll start writing down my life before and after here in Equestria. I’ll ship it off to you before the next Summer Sun Celebration and you’ll basically have a book to publish.”

Page simply raised a suspicious eyebrow. Thorne knew that skeptical look anywhere. He leaned down slightly and whispered, “Think about it. Exclusive rights to the secretive human’s life and past. You’d get rich enough to be royalty within the first week.”

The unicorn didn’t waiver, however. “Why wait so long? And why be so secretive?”

Thorne stood tall again and smirked. “Because details of my life are not for the faint of heart. And to my people, to be secretive is how we survived.” His eyes glanced around the familiar feeling metropolitan block. Apartments, businesses, and alleyways littered his cone of vision. The street and sidewalk were cleaner than what he was accustomed to. He didn’t find the staggering amount of homelessness--though he did find a few. But ponies were often seen helping their fellow pony.

“Hmm. Well I’m sorry, but I must decline. Of course, out of generosity I’ll loan you a few bits to get it, but to be honest, I’m just happy to get a story.” Page remarked, his gaze going up to the human who in turn looked flummoxed.

“Really?” Thorne’s confusion snuck out in his tone. Page simply nodded in response. “But why?”

“Well you make it sound as though your life is a very sad and tragic tale. And while I’d appreciate it, the money doesn’t mean that much to me. Besides, it sounds as if you’ll be leaving after a year.”

“Huh. Clever… And here I thought you were all naïve and trusting.” Thorne said aloud. And he immediately stopped the moment he said it, his face turning pale. ‘Oh fuck.’

The stallion had taken a few steps ahead but stopped and turned his head back. He gave Thorne a sly grin. “I’ll leave that quote out, don’t worry. But I understand where it came from. Though I must have really surprised you in turning that offer down.”

Page spun about and stepped closer, beckoning Thorne to crouch down so they could talk quietly to one another. Thorne obliged, squatting himself to get eye-level with the stallion. “Not all of us are open books. Our society has its blemishes. Everypony has something in their closet. But, just know that the reason we seem so ‘naïve and trusting’ is due to the harmony we need to maintain. Understand?”

Thorne shook his head. “Not really.”

Page sighed. “Long ago, before the founding of Equestria, the three tribes hated one another. Because of that hatred, the land itself rose up in defiance. A magical blizzard beset itself upon ponykind. The more we fought, the fiercer the blizzard became. Until no food, water, or shelter was enough to sustain.”

Page went quiet as a mare passed the two on the street. Once she was gone, he continued. “So then the leaders decided to find a new land. They did. But all three tribe leaders again went at one another over this new land. And again the land rose up. It wasn’t until they let friendship and harmony into their hearts did the land give them respite.”

Thorne nodded. “And that’s how Equestria was founded, then? On principles of friendship and harmony?”

Page gave a sagely nod. “Yep. You got it.”

Thorne blinked. “Well my friend, you’ve given me some insight. But you’ve also just given me a very potent weapon,” Thorne smirked. “Now I know some of you will push back against me and surprise me.”

It was Page’s turn to blink. “You were really getting a rather lowly opinion of all of us, weren’t you?”

Thorne sighed. “Listen. Where I come from, ponies can’t talk. They’re just animals. And now that I’m here, it’s a bit difficult to see the difference. It’s only been a week. But now I see I am dealing with some that will be… varied. Just as humans are.”

He reached up with his right hand and gave the stallion a pat on the cheek. “Thank you for setting me straight, Page.” With that, Thorne stood back up. “As far as to why a year, it is because I don’t believe I’ll last more than a year here. Not that I wouldn’t survive, it’s just… I might find a solution home since magic is so powerful here.”

Page seemed a little flustered at the pat on the cheek after having been compared to an animal. But he sighed and let it go. There was a moment of silence between the two, both of them peering at one another with a bit of newfound understanding. It was broken as Thorne’s stomach made a noise. The stallion chuckled, “Come on. Let’s go get breakfast. Diner is just around the corner.”

“Oh sweet nectar of the gods… damn that’s good,” Thorne said with an almost sexual purr in his deep voice. He didn’t care that the coffee was near scalding hot. He hadn’t tasted the sweet bean juice in days. He downed the entire mug before the waitress could even step away. She stared at the strange creature before her but went to refill the cup all the same. Once she was satisfied he wasn’t going to down it again in another gulp, she retreated back to the kitchen to fulfill their order.

“Waffles, huh?” Page asked.

“Well everything else seemed very herbivore… Wait. Am I going to get like hay-filled waffles? Do you guys have ‘haycakes’ or something instead of pancakes?” Thorne questioned as he cradled his mug.

Page chuckled. “I think you can rest assured they’ll be like your pancakes back home. But that goes into the first question, I noticed you have a set of fangs. I take it you eat meat?” The pen and notepad went fluttering out of his jacket pocket, ready to take the information down.

Thorne blinked and set his mug down. He opened his mouth and took a finger to prodding at his canines. After a moment of showing them off, he closed his mouth again and cleared his throat. “Omnivore, but yes. I eat meat. I actually loved to grill. Not really fangs, but it is neat to look at them that way.”

The pony before him looked a bit squeamish at that. “Not going to go eating any ponies are you?”

“Not unless I’m starving in the wilderness,” Thorne deadpanned. That earned a gulp from Page. “I’m teasing. No. I’m not going to eat a pony. Well… Okay, there is a lewd joke there, but I’ll keep this clean.”

Page actually snickered at that. “Leaving that one out, but I got your joke. Alright, so how about how you ended up here?”

“Shouldn’t that have been your first question? And the answer is: magical portal. No idea who or what opened it, why it opened, or if there is a way back.” Thorne replied simply.

“I kind of figured that was a given and didn’t really want to break out the obvious question. Alright, tell me about your homeland. Specifically where you grew up!”

Thorne leaned back. “That… that’s a bit difficult. But I can tell you some. I grew up in a nation called ‘The United States of America’. It was a land of freedom and personal liberties. The citizens had a say in everything. I could go into it at length--all the faults, downsides, and problems. But the positives are what made people stay and keep migrating there.”

Thorne put his elbow on the table and leaned into his mechanical palm. He watched Page jot everything down with furious strokes in his magical grasp. Once he saw him pause, Thorne continued. “I’d rather not talk of my family life, but I can say I was born into a family that was… strict. I was basically raised as a soldier. Taught how to wield weapons and fight from an early age. It’s what inevitably led me to join our nation’s military. I found myself excelling into the U.S. Special Forces and I can’t talk much about that. That was my life until I left to form my own group. Been a mercenary ever since.”

Again the pen went flicking, loudly writing everything down. Thorne paused as he heard the bell and the call for ‘order up’. He peered over, hoping it was their order. Sadly it went to another table.

“War and strife filled our world. But there were good parts of it. Hopes and dreams abound. Science and technology that would make heads spin here. In truth, I worry that I’ll become a part of political schemes or scientific research. Maybe get sucked into some think-tank in order to pick my brain about what could be implemented here.” He heaved a heavy sigh, shifting in his seat. He began to drum his fingers along the wooden table.

“While I will be an asset to anyone or anything here, I refuse to let my world claw itself here. I would rather die than bring what horrors could be beset upon this land…” Again Thorne sighed. “Sorry for getting dark. When all you’ve seen is darkness, it’s quite surprising to find a light. Especially one as beautiful as this world… And I’ve barely seen it.”

Page almost looked like he was holding back tears. Thorne merely took a nonchalant swig of his coffee. The journalist inhaled deeply and steadied himself. “So where does ‘Lord’ come into play then? To get us off the depressing topic.”

“Ah. Someone was listening. The United States had no nobility, so how would I be a ‘lord’? I wasn’t, in reality.” Thorne answered honestly.

“Then why lie about it?”

“It wasn’t a lie. I see myself as one. I earned it. I carried myself as a noble would; I treated my people with grace and dignity. I was swift to punish any who stood against me but I was always fair. I had a love for such things. I still do. To me, being born a noble simply means you won a lottery. To be a noble is to be so much more.” Thorne declared, his voice getting a bit sterner. “By the definitions of nobility, I wasn’t born a noble. Therefore I wasn’t one. But that never stopped humanity before. Just because you were born something doesn’t mean you can’t become something greater than yourself!”

“Ooo that’s going to get a couple ponies riled…” Page commented, sipping his own coffee.

Thorne sniffed and crossed his arms. “Let them be riled.” This time the lull in the conversation was rewarded as their food was rung up and delivered. Without hesitation, Thorne thanked the waitress and grabbed his utensils, digging into the waffles. He tongued the slurry of syrup and butter and grains in his mouth a moment before swallowing. “Ah that does taste like home.”

Page smirked and dug into his pancakes and chewed thoughtfully. After another swig of coffee, he looked back to Thorne. “Tell me some of the good things you saw in your world. And maybe you can find those same things here.”

Thorne ceased his furious charge into the meal and swallowed, having to take a gulp of his own dark brew in order to wash the syrup from his tongue. “People helping people when they were down. I saw some of it earlier. Generosity being passed around. Kindness being shown. Ponies and people aren’t that different, as you said. Loyalty was always a staple in building trust, same with honesty. And of course the willingness to share a laugh.”

The man had a smirk on his face. Page merely chuckled. “You took that from the paper, didn’t you? Those are the pillars of harmony and are being taught at Princess Twilight’s school.”

“I confess, you have me there my good stallion. But they were some of the greater things I saw in humanity. As far as some of the good things on a more personal level… Hmm. Plays. And operas, of course. I loved those. I was always a fan of music, especially when played by an orchestra. In my moments of free time, I often dreamed of being whisked away to a world of magic and fantasy--one where I could play the rapscallion rogue.”

Page raised an eyebrow at that. “I think you got your wish.”

“Far more than I bargained for,” Thorne retorted without skipping a beat.

“Aren’t rogues usually thieves and cutthroats?”

Thorne chuckled. “I suppose. But do they really need to be that? Can’t they just be upstarts who go and do their own thing? All while having the charm and suave to woo a mare off her hooves?” He wriggled his eyebrows at that. Page snickered.

“It is within my interests to suggest you stay away from the usual antics of a highwaypony and instead just focus on wooing the mares.” Page said, flipping the page of his notepad for the near thirtieth time. “Though that makes me ask, you’ve only been here a week and you’ve barely seen ponies, right? Do you… find them attractive?”

“A bit personal, isn’t it?” Thorne bit back. “But no. Truthfully, it would take quite a lot to overcome the ingrained teachings of my people for me to even look at a pony in such a way. But I am not above complimenting beauty.”

With that, Thorne dug back into his half-empty plate. Page went and scribbled a few more things down before he continued with his own meal. The silence this time lasted until both of them were done. Thorne downed the rest of his coffee and refused a refill, stating he had incurred enough charges on the stallion before him. Page merely thanked him for that kindness.

“One last question, Thorne. What will you do now?”

“I suppose I’ll find a way to make some bits. Probably start wandering. Though the doctor told me I should probably expect a summons to Canterlot. Which makes sense…”

Thorne sighed. Then he felt his stomach lash out in pain. He doubled over a moment and groaned. “But I suppose the first thing I’ll do is rush to the bathroom! Excuse me!”

With that, he dashed off. It left Page Turner there snickering, his pen writing down the last few lines of his exclusive.