An Equestrian Rogue

I was born in a rural area that was far off the beaten path into a compound of religious zealots in the backwoods of a state called Montana. They were a cult, really. My father at the head. It was the nineteenth of October in the year of our Lord, 1987. Though I guess ponies don’t use those months--it was likely close to that ‘Nightmare Night’ I read about.

October 19th was a Monday. And because of what happened that day due to powers beyond my control, the day was named ‘Black Monday’. Ominous, right? Turns out, the stock market crashed--basically think if the bit somehow became worthless. That’s what happened in my country, the United States. It didn’t affect any of us, of course. We were living in the wilderness. A cozy little hamlet village. But the name stuck throughout the world.

Several countries were riddled with problems due to this invisible market crashing. Panic ensued. Jobs were lost. Families were ruined. The wealth of many burned to ash.

And this was the day I was born. But dear reader! Do not fret! For I was graced with a secondary curse that sealed my fate!

Black hair and golden eyes.

Not only was the day being named ‘Black Monday’, but now a child was born with black-as-night-hair and golden eyes--coloration that isn’t natural in humans. A mutation. It actually makes my eyes rather sensitive to bright light, though over the years it’s gotten manageable. In my youth, however, I had to wear sunglasses constantly. As the years went on, my hair eventually turned brown and then went silver and gray. Another gift from dear ol’ dad.

So I’m sure you can see how this mixture created a volatile cocktail. A religious zealot who now had a son born on a dark day with mutations? Welcome to a living nightmare. He didn’t have the courage to just kill me in my crib. No, not at all. His process of thinking was much more insidious.

See, he thought I was something called ‘The Antichrist’. Basically, the antithesis to his religion. He spun it around to his followers saying that mother must have slept with demons. Which she then defended herself saying they must have forced themselves upon her in her sleep. She was never the same after that I was told. Supposedly she was happy and cheerful, and would have protected me.

She didn’t. Something snapped inside of her that day I guess. They said she tried to kill herself several times. Eventually she became… I don’t want to say supportive, but she was there enough to at least help me not become… whatever they wanted me to become. I don’t know any more. My father’s idea was to turn me into a weapon to defeat the coming of the greatest of evils. Basically, using the ‘son of the beast to defeat the beast’. To put it in simpler terms.

So that is how I got my name. ‘Iscariot’ is my middle name and derived from a book of fables regarding his God’s son getting betrayed by one ‘Judas Iscariot’. And ‘Damien’ is more of a book name given to the usual characters that end up being this Antichrist. Though I think it pays homage to ‘demon’. And Rutherford was just my last name. Nothing special.

Now you understand, hopefully, why I always went by ‘Thorne’. It’s a rather charming name with a deep meaning to myself. The other children always called me a ‘thorn in the side of the family’. Which, to explain, the ‘family’ was referring to the compound. It refers to everyone living in this backwater.

Thorne had invited them in and now was deeply regretting it. The moment the door shut behind Celestia and her entourage, the room went black. The air shuddered with an unseen disturbance. He cried out “Not again!” in aggravation.

Light returned in the form of a glowing six-pointed star. It burned deeply and passionately, dwarfing the five other white stars that surrounded it. Yet they all twinkled with the same intensity. Each white star then morphed and shifted. One took the form of a rain cloud with a rainbow lightning bolt striking an unseen target. Another took the pattern of colored balloons. One was simply a trio of apples. A gleaming cluster of three diamonds took up another slot in the pattern. Finally, pink-winged butterflies fluttered into place to complete the encircling.

The light they all cast sent the darkness that assailed them reeling. There from the shadows emerged a humanoid form. It was cloaked in rolling black fog. In skeletal fingers it held daggers that dripped with crimson. There was an audible gasp from several mares as the figure dropped the blades and removed the hood. A murky skull stared up at the lights with eyeless sight.

Several hooves extended from the stars to the figure, only for it to recoil in pain and utterly fade as if the six had banished the creature. It all came crashing to nothing as normalcy returned to the room.

“What in Equestria was that?!”

“That, Princess Twilight, seems to happen when I meet alicorns. I can’t wait to see Cadence’s. That one was far less bloody and evil-seeming than the one Celestia and Luna got to see.” Thorne responded in a sarcastic tone. “No idea why it happens, no idea what causes it, and it seems to be trying to tell everyone involved… something! No idea what!”

“It was trying to tell you to accept friendship, silly!” A bubbly voice stated rather matter-of-factly. Thorne looked down to see the source. A bubblegum pink mare with what he would have sworn was cotton candy for a mane and tail. Cerulean eyes seemed to jitter with uncontainable excitement as she stood close.

“Ah dunno, Pinkie. That looked more like we cast it out with magic.” The orange mare in a Stetson spoke with a distinct southern drawl that made Thorne smirk. She had a nice blonde mane and tail, each tied off with a red ribbon near the ends. Her face had adorable white freckles and deep green eyes. It brought the ‘earnest farm girl’ look together.

“I’m with her on that one,” the human replied. “Looked like I got smote.”

There was suddenly a light blue pegasi in his face with a rainbow mane and tail. “Well you did say it looked less evil than what Princess Celestia and Princess Luna saw, so does that mean you’re evil?! Huh, buddy?!” Stern and serious cerise eyes stared into gold. She was suddenly enveloped in a whimsical blue aura of magic and yanked away with a shout.

“Rainbow Dash! That is no way to speak to a guest of Princess Celestia and Princess Luna! Clearly Lord Thorne isn’t evil!” There was a sarcastic and dry laugh that tried to downplay the pegasi’s rudeness.

Thorne smirked and knelt down. “Thank you, my lady, for defending me against such brutish accusations.” He held out his hand, waiting for her hoof. There was a blush-filled chuckle that followed as the white mare did exactly as Thorne wanted. He gently brought the hoof to his lips and kissed it. “But please. Call me Thorne.”

Another nervous chuckle escaped the would-be noblepony. Thorne rose back up after his little show. “We need to get you out of those rags, darling, once introductions as done.”

‘Oh you are just a treat. So sweet and easy. I know your type. I wonder if she’s got a bite…’

Thorne nodded. “Of course.” He let his eyes go over her face a moment, shifting from her azure eyes, inspecting the alabaster unicorn with a royal purple mane and tail that were done in an elegant coiffure. He assumed magic was how one got such curls. After all, alicorn manes seem to flow in unseen wind. Or at least some did. Twilight was proving him wrong.

His sights fell on the princess. A lavender mare with a dark sapphire blue mane and tail with singular streaks of purple and raspberry pink. Violet eyes hid a trove of knowledge behind them and yet stared at Thorne with a ravenous curiosity. And behind her still, there was another mare. The final star in the pattern.

A cream-yellow pegasus with a long and flowing pink mane. A tail of the same color that drug on the ground. She seemed timid, but clearly had battled her hesitation for years. Cyan eyes were shrunk down in a tumultuous fear that had gripped her since seeing the wild magic. The moment Thorne’s eyes fell on her, she flinched--it wasn’t a defiant motion, but it was enough to be noticed by the observant.

“So! Princess Twilight and her friends pay a visit to the stranger in their midst. As you all know, I am Thorne. And you all are the heroes of Equestria! The bearers of the Elements of Harmony! The teachers at the recently opened School of Friendship. Applejack represents honesty, Rainbow Dash represents loyalty, Rarity represents generosity, Pinkie Pie represents laughter, and Fluttershy represents kindness. And the magic of friendship burns brightly within the dear princess.”

Thorne had a smug look for knowing so much already. It had been two days and he had done a bit of digging into the library already. He had several stacks of books on his bed and on his desk. “I do hope I didn’t pull you from the school. Molding minds is an important task that I don’t want to detract from.”

There was a hoof wave and a ‘pfft’ from Twilight. “Not at all. Got it covered. We all wanted the chance to meet you.”

“Mhm. Well I’ve got several days to sit and talk before my assignment to the Crystal Empire. Granted, may have to speak to me as I do some work to prepare. In the meantime, Miss Rarity? I would love to get started on clothing. A well-made and sturdy set. I’ve even got some sketches. And since money is no object…” He gave a look to Celestia before continuing. A nod gave him his answer. “Since money isn’t an object, I’ve got a few needs that must be met. That alright? Think you can handle it?”

He was given the stern glare of ‘how dare you insult my ability’ to which he raised his hands in defense. “I can handle it, darling! Show me these sketches! I want to know if I’m truly working with a professional who can make such demands!” There was a bit of an ‘hfmp!’ to her statement that made him beam. “And it’s just Rarity, thank you!”

‘She does have a bite!’ Thorne gave a slight bow. “Of course, Rarity. I didn’t mean to insult. If you’ll all excuse me, I’d like to get to work right away with Rarity. After I’m properly clothed, feel free to pick my brain about anything.”

The way Twilight lit up made him instantly regret that comment.

Life wasn’t easy, of course. But as I grew, the more I obeyed, the better things seemed to go. Once a soldier, always a soldier. I practiced my skills with daggers until my hands were bleeding. I went out and learned herbs and flowers and what each one did. All under the instruction of my father. If I didn’t, I got punished. Beatings, denial of food, days of scriptures and bright lights constantly in my face without being allowed to leave a room.

All of it to try and brainwash me. And in a way it did. They broke me. When those you were supposed to trust from birth do so much to you to twist your view of the world, what choice do you have but to see yourself as the monster?

So I became the monster. It’s funny, really. It wasn’t until years later that I heard a saying while in Africa that ‘the child scorned by the village will return to burn it down just to feel some warmth’. The first time I heard it, I laughed until I cried. It summed up what I had done.

So we come to the first crime I committed.

I was fifteen. The compound had dwindled. People got wise, but my father still held sway over simple minds. He was manipulative. Another thing I took from him, I suppose. Mother, thankfully, had left. But she couldn’t take me with her. She had done all she could for me. I appreciated it. She was the reason I still felt sane. Deep down, I know she still loved her child and she hated that she allowed my father to do what he did. To this day, I still wonder if she’s out there. A part of me pities her. A part of me hates her. All of me is still thankful she was there for as long as she was.

There were twelve adults and ten children. The wine that usually went passing around after a service was my target. I knew all about several of the poisonous plants in the area and how easily I could mix them into the sour swill they served. It blended right in.

They suffered immensely. Those that didn’t outright die to the poison, I took a knife to their throats. They were on the ground mewling for death, so I granted it. I was spared the weight of doing that to the children. They were all younger than myself so the poison took them, if painfully.

I took divine pleasure in making sure my father saw the devil he made. I burned the compound down afterwards. I escaped into the dark of night with a backpack and didn’t stop running until I found people to beg for help.

‘Pants! Glorious pants! And shoes! Even a shirt! Oh Rarity you are a blessing disguised as a marshmallow!’ Thorne thought to himself as he danced alone to an unseen orchestra in the ballroom. He had his arms out like he was holding a partner and had a giant blissful smile on his face. ‘Simple shoes but they work so well! Nothing compared to the boots I commissioned, but oh! It is so wonderful to have some arch support!’

“Uh, Thorne?” Twilight’s voice cut into his monologue, tripping him up from his dance.

The man stumbled slightly but caught himself easily. He went to the default position he had when addressing those that were above his station--kneeling with a fist in the ground. It came as instinct after being pulled from his merriment. “Yes, Princess! How may I help?”

“Whoa, whoa. No need for any of that. And it’s just Twilight, please. Up! Come on, get up!” Twilight fluttered over to him, putting her hoof on his shoulder to guide him back to his feet. He obliged.

“Well I appreciate it. You caught me as I was in a flight of fancy. It’s nice to have something to wear that covers me entirely and is comfortable. Something that isn’t prone to drafts.” Thorne stated as he dusted his knee off. Simple brown pants and a white button down shirt were the first things Rarity had made for him. She had insisted on going overboard, but he was adamant on staying with bare bones.

Twilight gave a soft laugh and nodded. “I’m sorry to pull you from a daydream. It looked like you were having fun. But everyone’s gathered for lunch and tea and we--well… I was hoping to ask some questions.”

“I see. Lead the way,” He motioned with a smile.

‘Oh she meant everyone. Huh. Well. Fuck. I was hoping to get work done today…’ Twilight told him on the way to the lounge that everyone meant everyone. At least everyone who was important. Which were several mares and one colt.

“And he has two delightful medallions around his neck but I’ve no idea what they mean!” He heard the voice of Rarity as they came to the door.

Thorne raised an eyebrow and stopped Twilight. “Want to see something amusing, Twi?” He tested his boundaries. The alicorn raised her eyebrow at the nickname coming from an unfamiliar. Thorne merely winked at her.

He shoved the oaken doors open. “Do my ears deceive me?! Darling! Rarity, how could you? A gossip? A refined lady as yourself?” He brought his arm up to his forehead as he took theatrical steps into the lounge. His other clutched at his chest. “Such words coming from beautiful lips! You wound me!”

There were several gasps. Then came the stammering. “I! I-I-I didn’t know it was p-private, darling! I would never! I was just sharing how f-fascinating your jewelry was, h-honest!” Rarity looked pale and distressed.

The moment he saw the look of almost tears he backed off. “Whoa, whoa! No waterworks! It’s a petty joke!”

Rarity switched from flabbergasted to simmering anger in the matter of moments. “Why you!” The others, however, found it amusing. Rainbow and Pinkie seemed to find it utterly hilarious. Thorne looked to Twilight, wondering if he got the reaction he sought. She was grinning, but clearly wasn’t that amused.

Thorne picked up a teacup with a sigh. “Mmm. Friendships truly run deep and you all care immensely for one another. Thought that would go the way of banter, not almost causing a tearful scene…” He thought aloud as he poured his tea.

“Well, uhm, if we knew you better…” Fluttershy quietly told him.

“Ah. True, true.” He took a sip of his tea and then gave a refined bow. “My apologies then.” He shuffled over to a couch and sat back, propping his right leg atop his left. He shifted to get comfortable and got his ankle to rest on his knee. He leaned deeply into the purple cushions and dug into his pocket. He pulled a cigar, the cutter, and the matchbox. He rested the teacup on his crossed leg in a balancing act as he prepared his smoke. “You all don’t mind, do you? I should be sitting far enough away.”

There were several shakes of heads and he went about his business. Soon enough, however, a thestral coat had clamored up onto the couch with him. Which Thorne gave a wary eye. “Sure you want to be over here, kid? Don’t want to hamper your breathing,” he remarked as the colt got comfortable.

“I’ll be fine! I wanted to sit and talk!” Dusk responded proudly.

Thorne chuckled. “I doubt you’ll get a word in edgewise…” He struck the match and lit up. Once his cigar was burning, he shuffled it between his middle and ring finger to allow his index and thumb to pick up the delicate teacup. “But you’re welcome to try.” He blew smoke and took a sip.

“Well, Miss Rarity was talking about jewelry you have! What about that?”

Thorne brought his left back and grabbed at the chain around his neck, lifting the two bound objects from his chest and out of his shirt. He held them aloft, letting the painted wood and silver glint in the streaming daylight that filled the room. “One is a memento of friends. That moon there. Used to be part of a game we played,” he lied effortlessly. “The other is the Chaos Star. A personal belief of mine.”

“Did someone say Chaos?” His teacup spoke and suddenly sprouted eyes and a mouth. A teacup that was swiftly let-go of as Thorne jumped in a sudden fear. His body reacted by trying to back away, nearly tipping the couch over.

“What the fu--!!” He clamped his left over his mouth upon realizing the teacup was now floating and staring at him. Thorne muffled a shout in displeasure before releasing his foul mouth. “Not in front of a child. Okay. I’m fine… I’m not fine. There is a floating teacup that talks!”

“Oh please,” there was a sudden blinding flash of magic that stung Thorne’s eyes. It was brief enough for him to not shy away from seeing the teacup had been replaced with a beast, “floating and talking teacups is the least I can do!”

“Discord!” Came in unison from the mares at the luncheon table.

“Discord?” Came seconds later out of a confused Thorne. “Oh… Oh! The dra… something. I got accused of having some connection to you for this pendant of mine.”

“Draconequus, thank you very much.” Discord huffed.

“You… wow,” Thorne said in awe as he stared at the floating creature, “you really are the definition of chaos… Just take a look at you! It’s stunning! Let’s see… Deer antler, goat horn, different shaped pupils--red eyes with yellow sclera instead of white! A sharp looking protruding fang… pegasi wing, bat wing, bushy eyebrows and goat beard, goat leg--a lot of goat in you. Even in the face. Hmm… Lizard leg, eagle talon, lion paw… All combined in a snake-like body with a dragon-scale tail. I like the buzz-cut mane too.”

Thorne rattled off Discord’s appearance in reverence, causing the draconequus to break into modeling poses. “Really? Stunning you say? Oh stop, I’ll blush!” After the list and reverie ended, Discord floated over to the girls at the table, taking a particular spot next to Fluttershy. “So. You mentioned chaos and it’s a belief of yours! Do tell! Perhaps I can finally show these ladies what a little chaos can do to life! Oh I’m so excited! I have a follower!”

Thorne put his cigar back in his mouth and waved his hand. “I wouldn’t say ‘follower’. I don’t really do ‘religion’. And you were described as what amounted to a god. Sorry to disappoint--please no smiting me.” He blew smoke out of one side of his mouth and continued. “But yeah. The Chaos Star. When you all look up to the stars, what do you? Beauty? Tranquility? Hopes and dreams? I ask this, of course, to two beings--technically, probably three--that can and do move the heavens.”

The human tugged the cigar from his lips and exhaled another gentle plume. “Where I’m from, physics dictates everything. The sun? It soars through an expansive galaxy that is the throes of a never-ending and ever-expanding explosion that formed the entire universe. With it, it tugs planets along--planets that have entrapped moons. It is the only reachable star near to Earth. Our moon controls the tides. We’ve landed on it, of course. Explored it thoroughly--even some dared to plan colonies for it.”

The cigar went back in his lip and he looked to Dusk. “Children and adults alike constantly looked to the stars for guidance. For inspiration. Our solar system was a delicate balance. It’s not that everything was chaos--it was that everything had the chance to be chaotic.”

“What do you mean?” Dusk asked with bright, curious eyes.

Thorne smiled and blew smoke up, waving it away with his cigar hand. “Static balance. The universe was sprung from chaos but fell into order. But it never completely became orderly. Stars burn like massive furnaces, throwing light and heat. Planets collide into one another, dooming each to nothingness until they form again. It’s all random and chaotic, but it serves an endless cycle. Once the chaos destroys something, it’s up to whatever broken pieces that are left to reform into some semblance of order. A new planet. A new star. A new galaxy.”

He leaned his head back and stared up at the ceiling, taking a long pause. A giant bellow of smoke came next as he sighed out. “I wear this pendant to show that I am a part of that cycle. That life is chaos. But it’s up to me to take the pieces and make order of it. To carve out a piece of reality that is solely mine.”

Thorne leaned back forward, shifting his legs and resting his arms on his knees. “Life dealt me a lot of poor cards. But I can’t curse life. I can’t envy or pity others. I can’t sit and dwell on it. I have the knowledge that the universe works to keep a balance. So just keep moving forward. Endure the hardships and adapt to the situations.” His glance looked to Dusk. “That is what it means to wear this Chaos Star.”

“But what about happiness?”

Thorne’s eyes shot to Silver. That voice cut at his heart. It was sorrowful, full of concern, but equally curious. He caught a hint of her accent for the first time. It confounded him as he tried to place it to something equivalent on Earth. Gold eyes stared at one another for an eternity. He finally drew the cigar out of his lips, blew the smoke away, and extinguished it.

“It’s in there. Somewhere.” He replied with a half-heart and a shameful look away. The room fell silent. Until the flap of wings. Suddenly he had obsidian-with-gold tips mane in his view. Then he felt hooves on his cheeks, turning his face to hers.

“Now hang on, you make it sound so wonderful and breathtakingly beautiful, then in that same monologue, make it sound hopelessly cruel and crushing!” Silver exclaimed, garnering the surprise of everyone. “It’s as if no matter what you do, the result is the same!”

Thorne stared at her flatly. “You misunderstand. And it is okay for you to touch me like this, is it? Didn’t you just threaten me a few nights ago to not touch you like this?”

She instantly pulled away and floated to the ground. “I-I… I’m sorry. Explain it if I misunderstand, though.”

Thorne sighed in exasperation. “The universe works at a balance. It will work to right the wrongs. And it will work to wrong the rights. Every action has an opposite and equal reaction. It’s not the result that is the same, it’s merely... “ He rolled his wrist and fluttered his hand, trying to think of the words. “You start and end at the same points in life…” He clicked his tongue. “Okay, maybe you didn’t misunderstand…”

He brought his hands to his face and groaned. “Ugh. It is a beautiful and breathtaking thing but also hopelessly cruel and crushing. But it does matter what you do. That is the point. If I commit heinous crimes, I’ll eventually get justice brought against me. If I do nothing, then nothing changes. If I commit acts of heroism, I’ll eventually have wickedness brought against me. That’s what I’m getting at. The universal scales balance themselves.”

“But then where does happiness and friends and everything else fall into that?” Silver asked with a tilt of the head. “Where does love and family come to these scales? It’s as if you’re saying that if you gain a friend, the universe will do something to attempt to remove them!”

The way she phrased it struck him. It upset him at a level. “That is what I am saying, yes!” He raised his voice and stood, forcing her to step back. Again the room fell silent. Thorne recoiled at the shocked looks he got as he went from face to face. He fell back into the couch, bouncing the colt next to him up slightly. “Sorry. But yes. That is what I am saying.”

His left arm was shaking. The polymer gave a slight noise as it jittered. He reached over his right and braced his left. He had dropped the extinguished cigar onto the floor and was now staring at it intently between his feet. He took a slow, deep breath, thinking carefully of his next words.

“You soldier on and you look out for yourself, Silver. Love, family, friendship, and happiness mean nothing to survival. And that is what I have done. I survived.”

His face was neutral as he looked back to them all. Gone was the joy of clothing. Gone was the joy of tea and cakes. Gone was the simple pleasure of a cigar. The face that stared at them now was passive and cold.

“I didn’t complain about it. I found myself above it all. I didn’t judge others, I didn’t envy, I didn’t hate. I saw the evil in my kind. I saw the good. I merely existed. You, as a soldier, must know that. A weapon to be pointed at enemies, which is all we are.”

Celestia rose up from the chair, defensively. “Thorne! No one is merely 'a weapon'!” She reprimanded. The moment she took the defensive, he rose up and flicked his wrist, not backing down. His arm, however, was still trembling. The panic in everyone’s face reflected on the shaking blade.

The thought went shooting through his mind. ‘Three of four right here. Do it. They won’t last against an onslaught. Send this kingdom to fucking ruin!’

Thorne’s eyes went to the blade, then to the rest, then to Silver. “I’m returning to my room. Do not stop me. Do not disturb me until much, much later. Sorry, Silver.”

With that, he slowly approached the door, backing himself into it. He kept his arm at the ready to use it, though he knew he didn’t stand a chance against magic. He kicked it open with a heel and continued into the hallway. Once there, he retracted the blade and took off into a sprint to his room to hide himself away.

I wandered around until I was eighteen. Which was the age I could sign up to join the military. I had nothing else to give. I had lived on the streets, stealing what I could to survive. I had found my way to the state of Ohio after riding the rails and hitchhiking that entire time. I never committed another murder until I joined the military.

I don’t really remember all the petty thievery, otherwise I’d list it here as more evidence against me. But three years? You can assume it was a lot.

Something I didn’t know, however, was that I needed identification. Something I didn’t have. I didn’t even have a birth certificate! I was a ghost. It was the freest time in my life. I did everything to stay off the radar. It was in these years that I honed my stealth and perception. I had to hide from the police and then run from them when I could.

But once a slave, always a slave. Once I was eighteen, I had to get that identification. I felt like a part of my freedom was taken from it, all so I could go die for someone else’s freedoms and rights. But that’s all I was good for, right? I had no ambition. I only knew survival. Nothing attaches me to the waking world. Nothing but self-imposed strings. So I took the strings. Maybe I could find meaning in that service.

I never did.

All I found was more suffering. My own suffering had defined a part of me. Now the rest of the blanks would be defined by what I witnessed. What I helped cause. First was basic training which I passed with flying colors. You go through torture since birth, having more of it done to you feels like a light breeze. I had gotten numb. In fact, their version of it was simplistic.

But I found three great loves within basic. One was the love of robotics and engineering. Designing and building.

The second was the love of theatre and music.

The third was a woman named Laraine.

The pounding of metal filled the night air. Thorne oversaw the unicorn smith, aptly named ‘Steel Cuirass’, who was sending sparks into the moonlit evening as he beat steel into shape. It had been days since Thorne spoke with the princesses or even Silver over tea. He hadn’t interacted with anyone but guards and workers.

It was better that way. Better that they stay away. That is what he kept telling himself. It made everything easier in the end. He would eventually have the blood of a nation on his hands. ‘I’ll be the demon that sends them to crisis. They’ll grow stronger. The innocents will endure. They will adapt. Humans always do. Suffering breeds greatness.’

His mind recoiled at the thought. ‘Right. Ponies. I’m the only human here.’ That earned a heavy sigh which brought Steel Cuirass’ attention.

“You alright, sir?” The bulky stallion unicorn asked.

“Hmm? Oh. Yeah. Just lost in thought. Think you got the rest of it down? Sorry to make you work so late, but I wanted to get the chestplate ready at least.” Thorne idly remarked, his gaze looking off into the distance.

“Well the design is intricate, but should be usable in another day or so. It’s very interesting, this type of armor. And you say it allows flexibility without sacrificing integrity?”

Thorne smiled and nodded. “Yeah. With chainmail and leather, it will offer less protection than full plate, but with the modifications it’ll be more lightweight, flexible, and better than just leathers.”

Steel Cuirass nodded. “I get it, just… Gives us a lot to think about when it comes to future armors. Layering bands like that almost like making large scales. I kind of want to call it ‘dragon scale armor’. But dragon scales have the added protection of being stronger and heat resistant to the point they can bathe in lava.”

“Sounds like I need to slay a dragon and use that as armor…” Thorne wistfully said.

“We’re friends with the dragons, sir, don’t go harming them.”

That brought Thorne’s eyes to the stallion. “Wait. Dragons are friendly now? I… I am surprised they exist in this world. I thought they were all fantasy. But now you’re telling me, not only do they exist, but they’re… friendly.”

“Yessir!” Steel Cuirass beamed rather proudly. Thorne blinked and started to chuckle. His hand went to his brow and he fell into a fit of giggles. Giggles broke into a heartfelt maniacal cackle. It echoed into the night and sent creatures stirring. He laughed until it hurt and winded himself. “It… wasn’t a joke... “ Cuirass added.

Thorne tried to recollect himself. “No, no! I know it wasn’t. Just… Ponies and dragons getting along! I needed that laugh. It’s been a silent couple of days with no room for laughing. Ah, I feel better.” His jovial tone went back to casual. “So, good here? I was thinking of strolling around the garden.”

“I’ll see it done, sir.” Steel Cuirass responded. Thorne simply nodded and strolled off, leaving the unicorn to finish.

The darkness of the garden was intoxicating and inviting. There was a hedge maze in the distance that he had already explored and mapped mentally. A prominent fountain stood at the entrance, the gentle trickle of water running over stone filling the soothing night air. Even as he stepped onto the supple grass with his shoes on, he could still feel spring in it as it resisted. He felt the small creatures that hid in the shrubbery go scurrying away from him.

The moonlight did little to offer the sight of flowers, but he knew they were there. Wilds from all over Equestria blossomed in this garden, tended to by both magic and terran ponies with all the care in the world. The smell of each different breed wafted through the lunar-blessed breeze. It was chilling against the skin, but welcomed to shed away the heat of the forge and the sun that had set earlier.

It was all peaceful. Until he heard the flap of a pair of leathery wings. The illusion of solace and peace faded. ‘Silver. Watching me, of course.’ His head turned, looking toward where he had heard it. The moment his neck began moving, the wings fluttered and she was dashing off to remain unseen.

‘She’s fast. And she let herself be heard. The moment I moved she went silent. She’s good.’ Thorne smirked, flashing his teeth in the night at the direction she had been. His body lowered itself. “Come then. Keep up my darling little winged assassin.” He spat the words like venom. He made sure she heard them before he darted off into the nearby maze.

Silver was quickly above him, her form silhouetted from below as the light of the moon poured over her. She could see him rushing off into corridors from above like he was in broad daylight. Her eyes were glinting as they took in the low-light and amplified it, brightening the surroundings. The word ‘assassin’ had pierced her train of thought. “Prust! Mehar! Nin-rotcul!” She swore aloud in her tongue as she watched over him from the air.

She waited for him to come to a dead end and then she would corner him. But all the twists and turns had yet to slip him up. Every decision he had made led him closer and closer to the opposite end. There was nothing there aside from a cliff that was walled off, however. She did notice something peculiar as he went along. Several times he would leap forward into a front flip and pocket a hand after every time. He always came out of the flip with a practiced landing and kept running.

It all seemed practiced. It almost seemed thought out. That is when a rock went sailing next to her head, getting her out of her thoughts. She screamed out as another nearly nailed her wing. Her hearing had saved her as she heard the thing whistling at her from the force of the throw. Another swear in her mother tongue escaped her as she yelled at the man who had stopped at the exit of the maze. One more rock went sailing at her that she had to dive under to avoid. She went diving at him, forcing him to turn and run out of the hedge maze and onto the open of the cliff-side.

“You! You knew that maze like the back of your hand!” Silver yelled accusingly, keeping her distance.

“It is an escape vector and I cover my bases!” Thorne responded, flicking the blade from his arm out. “So they finally got wise and sent you to deal with me, huh?! My outburst the other day was enough!”

“What?!” Silver sounded aghast, her voice trembling. “No! Nightmother sent me to talk with you! Escape vector…?! Deal with you?! Thorne, what is going on?! Why are you acting like this?! Where was the hero that saved my Dusk?!”

“Then why hide your presence?!” Thorne growled. “Silently stalking me! I barely heard you approach--in fact, I think you did it on purpose for sport! That’s what those blades on your wings are for and now I understand why you would fight like that! You would get the drop on anyone, not allowing them a moment to retaliate.”

The mare squinted and landed. “Sport…? Moon above, you truly think that… Nightmother was right, you need her help… You need a lot of help, Thorne!” She sighed. “I came to tell you that Princess Luna wanted to work with you in order to step into your dreams. And to apologize for upsetting you.”

“Apologize? For upsetting me?” Thorne raised an eyebrow at that, his guard lowering somewhat.

“We were all worried about you. The way you left. You were on edge like you expected to be attacked… You’ve not spoken to anypony in days! You barely have been seen! All the reports from guards and servants were of you skulking around to avoid interaction with anypony!” Silver shouted at him. “So I’m sorry!”

With that, Silver took to the skies again, flying off before Thorne could even respond. He retracted his blade and held his hand up, trying to reach out to her as if telling her to wait. But his voice never left his throat. It hitched in place, causing only a gargling whine.

‘Holy shit I am an idiot…’

I am something of a genius. High intelligence. Scored high on all the tests I took. I am studious. I have an eye for details. I have a partial photographic memory, meaning my mind can remember snapshots. It’s not the full ordeal where I remember everything perfectly in some mental archive, but it gets the job done. I remember what is important. What is out of place.

Of course I also have adept instincts. Living in the wilderness has taught me to be wary of everyone and everything. Moving from the forest to a concrete jungle did nothing but teach me new ways to be wary and what was dangerous.

This is what drew me to engineering. The challenge behind it. I loved designing things. I got good at sketching and making blueprints. Where someone saw a problem, I began trying to design a system to try and solve it as simply as I could. The major issue I had was I tried to overcomplicate things. Some solutions were elementary and I couldn’t just automate everything. There wasn’t a ‘fix-all’.

What I could design, however, were weapons. Those had one job and there was no real overcomplicating them. None of my suggestions ever made it to a development phase, but they were feasible at least. I’m sure now that I’m labeled as ‘missing’ or ‘dead’ in my world, someone will take my designs and start working on them.

At least my crossbow is coming along. It’s the little things, reader. Be proud of them. Humanity always sought the biggest, brightest, and best it could. But never forsake the little things that matter. Spend time with your children. Splurge a little here and there. Eat that big slice of cake! Do what makes you happy. It’s all that matters in the short amount of time you have. And don’t let anyone put you down. Within reason and within the law of the land, of course.

Speaking of happiness: the theatre. Or as it was spelled in my nation, ‘theater’. I always preferred the classical spelling of it. Romantic, no?

I fell in love with the stage. After all! All the world’s a stage and the stage is a world of entertainment! Hamlet, Romeo & Juliet, Phantom of the Opera, Macbeth, Death of a Salesman, Othello, King Lear. I’m sure there are pony equivalents. I don’t know when it started, but my mind started associating what I did with the stage.

I’m sure you’re confused, so allow me to explain. Every time I took hold of my daggers that I had made--much later in the story, mind you--I could hear an orchestra begin to play. I could see the actors upon the stage. I could see the placements where we all needed to be. I was there! Upon a stage! As the lead actor, I did my best to carry the play to its end!

It was my happy place as I did my work. It’s a rather comically morbid way to describe it, but… I guess it was my way of coping. My way of telling myself what I was doing was okay. Even as I write this, I know there will be many times still when I’ll use this little mental stage to help me carry out my work.

Silver re-read the note that had been given to her.

‘Meet me at the end of the maze. I’m putting my trust in you to come unarmed at sunset. I will do the same. It’s the only way we can talk. Though I don't know how deep we can talk since I’m expecting Dusk to come. Deal’s a deal, right? - Thorne’

She didn’t like the idea of bringing Dusk around him anymore. He had been increasingly showing that he had no trust in anyone around him and any attempts to make friends or get close only made him more defensive. But this also was the creature that dove to catch a falling colt, got up, and shrugged it off like it was no big deal.

She also had her mission from the Nightmother. A part of her was upset she had been called an ‘assassin’ by a stallion who was likely an assassin himself. The way he carried himself, the way he acted, and the way he was always ready… It told her enough to know she was dealing with a professional. She had been sizing him up and reporting everything to Luna but there was no hard evidence. Everything he had done, he did in self-defense. There were no outrageous moves made against the princesses. He had several opportunities that she would have leapt on.

A part of her wondered if that was him being better trained. Or some different type of thinking. Though she suspected he was likely trying to make it clean and get away. He was the type, it seemed. Always able to get away.

The note got burned in a candle. It was already getting close to dusk when she and her colt awoke, though he had chosen to go back to sleep to spite the creeping light that still permeated the room. Once the note was gone, she turned back and smiled at her little one. He would get a muzzle nosing him back awake.

“Come on, Thorne wants to see us both.”

The colt shot an eye open. “Is… Is he okay…?” he asked in a groggy tone.

“Mai mik Feli, ya. He is… Burdened. Thus why we need to help him. Biineh?”

Dusk yawned and nodded. “Ya mama.” Silver smiled at that as her colt stood from the bed and lifted off with a flap. She was soon hugged around her withers as the little batpony nestled in on her back. “He won’t get angry, will he, momma? It was scary the last time…”

“Shh, no, no. I think maybe he wants to apologize. But I’m not sure. Come. It’s almost sunset.” Silver trotted over to a dresser and pulled their shades out. She got hers on and handed him his. With a turn, she looked at the bladed wing-guards she had lying on a table. A fleeting thought told her to take them, but she resisted it.

Once she got the ‘ready’ she was waiting for, she went to the balcony of her room and lifted off, swooping down over the courtyard that faced the setting sun. She glided over the exterior of the castle, doing a gentle bank in order to sweep the area. It was a large and listing motion, but it relaxed her. It also made her colt happy, given the tiny squeeze she got. It made her smile.

The sun set on the horizon. With that, she made her way over the maze. She found the human figure sitting on what looked like a blanket and a basket next to him. She didn’t try to hide her approach, but the scene made her cautious yet curious. She landed a few feet behind him, making the human turn slightly. He turned to his left to look at them and that is when she gasped slightly.

The silver glint of metal in the vanishing rays of the sun caught the eyes. Dusk climbed off his mother’s back and took a hesitant step. Thorne simply smiled at the both of them. They were both astounded by the lack of a black arm and instead could only see the metal numb that stuck out at his elbow.

“Necretuli…” Silver said in bewilderment. “Dusk? Give us just a moment, please.” The colt looked back to her confused but nodded, stepping off to the side. Silver cantered over quickly and shoved her face right into Thorne’s. “This! This is what you meant by unarmed! You… You! Deztapul!” She hissed the words quietly.

“You have a beautiful language and accent. When you’re not speaking like a socialite,” Thorne replied. “Sounds… Romanian.”

Silver gave a click of her tongue.

Thorne rolled his eyes. “I wanted to apologize and talk properly. And I figured you would bring Dusk. So, picnic.”

“Picnic. That was your idea.” She deadpanned. She shook her head and sighed, accepting it. “Fine.” She looked back toward Dusk and called for him. It took only a second for him to come rushing back. Silver shuffled over and sat beside Thorne with Dusk sitting next to her.

Thorne motioned to the basket. “Had some snacks prepared as well as some tea. But first, I wanted to apologize. To both of you. I… I lost myself. That’s twice now you’ve seen me lose my temper, Silver, and for that I deeply apologize to you. I’m a better man than that, I promise. Just… a lot on my mind. And pushing at my boundaries just…”

He sighed and fell back into the blanket, looking up at the sky. Soon enough the violet hues of dusk were fading as the sun was put away and the moon rose. Stars began to shimmer into sight. “I’ve had several years of this mentality. I thought I had happiness. Thought I had friendship. And they were taken from me. All I had left was service. All I know is being a soldier. It’s the default. Having my beliefs scrutinized like that--even if it wasn’t malicious--set me off.”

The right arm went over his eyes, blocking out all the light. “So. Sorry I lost my cool. Sorry I probably scared you, Dusk. Sorry I probably scared you too, Silver. I’ll need to apologize to the princesses and to Twilight’s friends.”

There was silence that lingered until the colt spoke. “Maybe they’ll understand. But I know we all will forgive you, Thorne.”

The human cracked a smile and moved his arm. He offered his hand to the small thestral who put a hoof confidently in the palm. He gripped it gently. “I appreciate it.” He let it go and let it fall to his side.

“Do you think you’re beyond friendship?” Silver said, hints of that accent taking hold. “That your beliefs make you unable to have such things?”

Thorne let a heaving sigh. “No. I just… I don’t want to be hurt again.”

Silver let a nod and went digging in the basket. She poured Dusk and herself some tea first before offering a cup to Thorne. He politely declined. Next she handed her boy an apple that he tore into rather violently. “What about romance? Did you have family in your world, Thorne? You make it sound as if you did not.”

“No. No family. Not by blood or marriage. I didn’t even have any lovers or anyone I pined for. Truthfully, that was rare… Nothing ever came of any of it.” He looked to Dusk and then to Silver. He motioned for her to come closer, not wanting to speak aloud for a moment. When she did lend him the ear, he whispered, “Most of my partners were paid for the night.”

Silver pulled away with a rosy tint in her cheeks and a giggle on her lips. Thorne just looked at her with mouth agape. It swiftly switched to a sarcastic pained expression. “Laughing at that! I’m hurt!” He teased. Silver shook her head and giggled harder.

“The noble gentlestallion mask just lost a lot of respect!” She teased right back. “And here I had you pegged as a mare-killer.”

Thorne let out a ‘pfft’ and shook his head. “Mares love the charm. But yes, thank you for laughing at my romantic inexperience.” He grinned playfully at her before relaxing again. “Tell me something about yourself, then. A talk goes both ways.”

“Well I was rather hurt by your accusations of ‘assassin’ the other day. I consider myself a dancer.” Silver huffed.

“Oh that’s asking for a joke. And you know what ones I want to make. But then tell me, what about the weapons?”

“Wing-glaives. Dancing like I do is a martial art as well as pure art,” She beamed with pride as she spoke, “and it isn’t as crude as a cutthroat’s profession!”

Dusk interjected, “Dance for him, momma!”

Thorne smirked and sat up slightly. “Oh yes,” he cooed, “please do.” The depth in his voice sent the thestral mare blushing. Suddenly she had golden predatory eyes beset upon her, demanding she give him a show.

Her mind began going through all the jokes he made mention of which only increased the blush. “Fine! I shall!” She stated with a bit of a tremor in her voice but stood up with determination. She took a swig of her tea and then stepped off the blanket. She took a position a few feet away and as she prepared, Thorne sat up completely.

Silver closed her eyes and opened her wings. She rose up onto her hind legs in a slow and methodical manner, showing off her barrel in the moonlight. Next she was up on her back right hoof, her left now extending behind straight behind her in a slow buck. Her tail lifted and swayed to an unseen music. Her forehooves stretched to the sky above her head, then one came down, sweeping sensually over her muzzle and then her barrel. Her wings suddenly enveloped her, covering her belly and hoof. She leaned forward on that one hoof, as if bowing.

To Thorne, it seemed almost like ballet motions. He wasn’t impressed so far, but a side glance to Dusk told him something was amiss. The colt seemed excited for what came next. His attention went back to Silver.

Golden and glowing eyes now pierced his soul. Her onyx wings flared open and she leapt from that one hoof. Like a bullet, she shot into the sky. It was fast and fluid, barely giving Thorne the time to appreciate the maneuver. There in the sky, she was among the stars. Those eyes looked away from him and he suddenly felt empty. His attention was fully hers and she knew it, however.

She closed her wings again and listed her body back, showing off a bit of flexibility as her spine bent. Silver’s body went careening downward from the back flip, her muzzle pointed at the ground. Just before she connected, her wings flung open and she banked hard into a cyclone spin that went right back up into the night sky. From the end of the bank she went into a closed-wing roll, drilling into the air. At the height of it, her body flared open and she struck a sultry pose before gravity took hold again.

As she fell this time, she back flipped again, managing it twice before opening her wings at the end of the second and going into a tight triple loop. Out of the last loop came a dizzying horizontal spin that only ended once she flared her forehooves opened and slowed herself with her wings. With a powerful thrust, she shot higher into the air.

Silver struck a pose that looked as though she was praying. Hooves together, head bowed, hind legs together. Her wings opened. Thorne thought an angel was appropriate for how she posed, yet the bat wings went toward the demonic. He swiftly put that thought away, however, as she daintily floated back down. She landed on her back hooves and those eyes shot open again, staring at him.

She wrapped her body in her wings and looked away shyly. She spun one last time, kicking off with her left and standing on her right. Her wings flung open and she made the bowing motion once more. Once she closed her eyes, her body relaxed. Back on all four hooves, the dance concluded.

Thorne sat wide-eyed. “That was… beautiful. And that’s a form of martial arts?! It was like ballet! I… I need to see plays in this world. If they can be that amazing…!” He let a breath he didn’t know he was holding. “You were stunning, Silver. You looked as though you belonged in the sky with the stars and moon…” He looked to his hands. “I’d clap, but I’m missing one at the moment…”

Silver trotted over with a blush on her face but a smile shining brightly. “Maltumir. I’m glad you enjoyed it.”

The human nodded. “Sit and rest. You look like you put everything into that…” He watched her as she sat down and took another sip of tea. He had a smile on his face as he watched her son gush at the thing he had probably seen a hundred times. It made him reach up and clutch his chest as something stirred.

‘Now I can see why you’re ‘silver’. Those fast motions along with that gleaming silver-like coat… Like a blade slicing through the darkness as the moon reflected off of you. It was breathtaking, Silver. It was beautiful… You were beautiful.’

Thorne wanted to continue to heap praise over the marvel he had seen. Instead, he asked a question. “Silver…? Do you think we could become friends…?”

“Of course!” She beamed at him without hesitation. “Why can’t we be friends right now?”

“I better be included in this!” Dusk pouted.

Thorne blinked at the two. He let a soft snicker but nodded. “I suppose there isn’t a reason… I’d like that.”

“Then we’re friends!” The colt exclaimed. Silver nodded in agreement.

Thorne smiled and looked toward the moon. He clutched his chest harder as a phantom pain went ripping through his torso. He inhaled deeply, held it, and exhaled. The pain subsided.

‘Better to make friends than enemies for now, right?’ He told himself in a regretful tone.

Laraine. A buxom bombshell of a blonde. Legs that went for days. Hair that was down to the middle of her back. Beautiful blue eyes that captured your attention. The perfect curves. All the right squish in all the right places. The voice of an angel. She didn’t smoke, she didn’t do any drugs, she didn’t sleep around, didn’t drink. She was a miracle. And she was a waitress.

Of all the places to find the epitome of divine grace, it was at a slum diner that was right outside the base. For the life of me, I couldn’t figure her out. I had been studying humanity in my time outside my family’s grasp. I had them pegged as beasts. Yet here was this woman, somehow thriving amidst them!

Nothing ever came of it. I wasn’t allowed to leave the base during basic training. It was only a few weeks that I was even there before being accepted into a special program. She did, however, come by to make deliveries to upper echelons who had ordered lunch from the diner. And sorry to fool you, reader, but I suppose she wasn’t a ‘love’. I lusted for her, sure, but didn’t love who she was… I loved what she represented.

It would be a later motif in my tattoo. Even at the bones, humanity is beautiful. Thus the skulls on the shield. We must defend what has come before us and help build what will come after us. Humanity can be so much more than beasts and monsters. It made me hopeful for myself.

I chalked up the feeling I had when I first arrived in Canterlot to disgust at how similar ponies and humans were. But I came to the conclusion that they are just like humanity. And they must have their dark side. Yet there is so much hope for more. Though I think a part of me now realizes… It disgusted me because you ponies have achieved a society that focuses on the good and it shows everywhere. Instead of the self, you focus on the other pony. And I guess I am jealous of that. Not that I haven’t seen selfishness and arrogance. I’ve seen racism, even. But it’s… trivial. At least when compared against humanity.

Sometimes I wonder if I could be reborn as a pony in this world. Or if I had arrived and my body was pony-fied. Would I be different mentally? Would I be happier? If my circumstances were different, could I be something more as an equine creature?

Some days I feel as though the magic in this world is telling me to accept… something. That I could be at peace and find happiness. Something more than myself. That maybe I deserve saving...

I fear that it will only grow stronger as the year I have left to live dwindles.

I fear the hope that it gives me.

Thorne sat in his room with over thirty books. All of them were opened to various pages. Magical theory, flora and fauna, dictionaries, maps and geology, biology of creatures--everything a stranger in a strange world would need. He had a few more books that held basic potion-making and alchemy as well as books on medical practice.

He had been studying as he worked, but this evening he had all the time in the world. It would be another day before he could truly try out the daggers he had commissioned. His crossbow needed two other components before it was done. His armor was an ordeal--same with the clothing. But it was all coming along. It would be another three days before Rarity would leave but she promised she’d be done. She had apparently requested help from the other five in order to fulfill the request.

Thorne had found this out after going to them in order to properly apologize for his outburst. Nothing as personal as the evening picnic with Silver and Dusk, but he figured they would appreciate the gesture. They did, thankfully. Even Celestia and Luna accepted him. And they accepted the reasons along with the apology.

Now he had several friends, a safe place to talk, and a bunch of gifts. All of it freely given. He didn’t think his work would repay them. He didn’t want to repay them that way. Nor did he want to repay them the way Master wanted.

He unbuttoned his shirt and stood from his bed as the thought went ripping through his concentration. He grit his teeth as he stared at himself in the mirror. A hand went to the hidden mark.

He dared not summon it, nor try to reach out to his Master as he was told. His paranoia told him that any magic he did would be picked up on. He also had a feeling that even with the brand being hidden, his Master’s eyes were upon him. Thorne worried that his thoughts were being read--manipulated even. That he was never truly alone in his head.

‘I’ve done this before. Worked with my targets. Gained their trust. I have a year to work. Stay the course, Thorne. No time for doubts. You’re barely a few weeks into this. They will hate you. You’ll bring a nation crumbling down. None of them are actually your friend. You are just a tool to them and everyone else. And when you’re done, you’ll be cast aside.’

He felt his heart harden. He had done this to himself hundreds of times. His heart questioned his morality, his joy, and his reasoning. But his mind always reminded him of the truth. The voices in his head always made him steady. The human heart was weak. It needed to be hardened against the onslaught.

With a nod to the mirror, he went back to his books. He still had much to learn and much to do.

I had left basic and was now on my way to a special program. Special forces training. Basically had a bag thrown over my head and drug to a location. Don’t even think we were on the same stretch of land. I actually think I was no longer in the United States. I had passed all my physical and mental exams with flying colors--had someone comment that I was ‘superhuman’. Thus why they took me to what was known as a ‘black site’. In the books, it was said I went and joined the Rangers.

In truth, we were operating in a burner unit under the name of ‘Sanitization Division’. And ‘burner unit’, dear reader, implies that we were expendable. There was no record of our activities and everything had plausible deniability. There were ten of us, so a decent size squad. Was simple, really. We serve five years or die in the field. Then we were let go, given a giant paycheck to keep our mouths shut, and told we could do whatever we wanted.

We had handlers and they changed from time to time. It was rare that ever ten of us were needed for a mission. We worked in pairs. Had no idea where our money came from and none of us cared. There were probably so many fingers in that disgusting pie that it probably stopped resembling a pie. Jobs ranged from pure assassination to cleaning up dissidence.

I both loved and hated it. It gave me direction… But it took a piece of my soul. I suppose that is life, isn’t it? You give up pieces of your soul as you age in order to keep going. Skews your sense of right and your morals until you’re standing in a graveyard and looking at your headstone.

I remember all of their faces--the innocents that I was forced to put down. Every man, woman, and child. But it was the nature of the job. No witnesses. That’s why we were called ‘Sanitization’. We were there to clean up and put everything to the torch. No loose ends. It was here that I started to see that I needed a code. It would later become my three rules of doing business when I formed the Black Roses.

It was serving with Sanitization where I got two things. One, my best friend in the world, Ulysses. Second, my left arm was taken from me.

It was becoming evening again. The tasks of the day had been done, though Luna’s night was just beginning. Celestia, however, looked exhausted after having dealt with day court. But they indulged Thorne’s request. He had asked them both personally to meet him in his assigned chambers in order to speak privately with the both of them.

Thorne sat on the edge of the bed and beckoned them both to enter. He insisted they made themselves comfortable. Luna shut the door while Celestia charged headlong and climbed onto the bed to lie down. The action took Thorne by surprise, him looking up from his journal. He looked to Luna in confusion who merely shrugged. Thorne snapped the book shut and placed it down as the lunar sister took her place on the opposite side of the bed.

“I suppose that is one way to get comfortable. But you do own the place, so I can’t complain. Anyway, I asked you both here in order to seek some information that I cannot find in books. And to hopefully get some help.” Thorne stated, his fingers interlocking themselves as he leaned forward and rested his chin on the balled hands. He sat motionless, eyes focused on the wall.

“I’m glad you’re taking my advice on getting help… I see Silver relayed the message. Though I still wish to step into your dreams.” Luna spoke softly. “But what is it you seek?”

Thorne inhaled deeply and held it a moment. “If you both and all the rest of your guardians fail, what happens to this world?”

Celestia’s head rose up. “That is an awfully specific question.” Luna merely nodded in response.

“There is another. What if all the magic in this world fades?”

“Why…?” Luna asked. “Why would you want to know that?”

“The first question answers how strong your little ponies are in the face of crisis. Friendship solves a lot, yet isn’t the fix-all you think it is. Ponies have secrets. Ponies lead double lives. You’ve seen it and you’ve likely experienced it. In fact, I know you both have.” Thorne looked over his shoulder to the two of them. He stood up and faced them with stern gold eyes judging their responses. “The second answers how resilient they are to change after the crisis.”

His arms crossed. “You both have lived for over a thousand years. You've surely seen war. You've seen your ponies die. Not only from wounds, but from just old age. You understand the weight of it all. You understand the real costs behind things like war and vainglorious pride. But you’ve not had skirmishes in over a thousand years." Thorne drummed mechanical fingers atop his right arm as they sat crossed. "You two are ancient god-like beings capable of moving the sun and moon. If one day that suddenly ceased, what happens? Do they cease moving? And what about conflict resolution? Pinkie Pie told me a funny story of how her singing caused buffalo and Apploosans to start a fight with one another over territory--something that usually demands blood. Instead, pies got thrown.”

The two princesses looked at him and then one another, debating on how to answer the onslaught of questions. Celestia sighed, sending that aurora of a mane shuddering. “We don’t know.” She answered honestly.

“As far as conflict resolution, you know what Silver is. We have our methods.” Luna responded. “But like Tia said, we have no idea what would happen should magic fade. We don’t know what would happen if we vanished.”

Celestia shifted on the bed, crossing her forehooves. “We simply trust in our ponies. They will make the right choices in the end. And even if magic somehow faded from this world, they would manage. If war and conflict again came to our doorstep, with or without magic, they would be able to deal with it. They are stronger than they appear, Thorne.”

“Mmm... “ He hummed the response. “I suppose that is fair. Faith and trust, cornerstones of society.” He turned away from the two of them and went to the desk. “I thank you two for the insight and I’m sorry to call you both here for so little. But I needed answers.” He leaned against the wooden desk, his head turning to look over his shoulder to the two of them.

“Of course Thorne. Like I said, you’re safe here. And we’re always ready to speak to you about anything. You can trust us. Just like we trust in our ponies.” Celestia gave him the most heartwarming smile through her clear exhaustion. “Oh! I almost forgot. After you're done in the Crystal Empire, you’ll have a home in Ponyville.”

That shook his core and he turned suddenly, “What?!” He exclaimed. “A home?!”

Luna smiled. “Silver’s idea, actually.”

“I… I--!”

“Good night, Thorne!”

The two mares almost skipped out of the room, pleased with the stuttering, confused mess they left of the man.

We worked in pairs so I got stuck with an oddball named Ulysses. Such a mouthful of a name. I loved saying it. Sounded so classical and proper. They all knew me as ‘Thorne’. It was better that way.

Ulysses was wanted for several crimes and had got pushed into our ‘happy home of rejects’. That was his phrase for it. The man was an expert at explosives. The way he looked at high powered plastic explosives would be the same way a stallion looks at a mare. It was lustful. He always made the joke of ‘if explosives don’t fix the problem, you didn’t use enough’. I think he took that from something, but I couldn’t be sure. I found it immensely humorous.

He had a jaw line that could be used to cut glass and he was bulkier in the muscle department. Plus he was taller than me. When I first saw him, I compared him to a walking mountain. Stout, stoic, and always contemplating. I joked about him always deep in thought about blowing up the world. He probably would have tried if given the chance. Of course our hair was always kept short, but his hair was a nice brown. Matched the green eyes. He had several freckles all over his face that littered white skin. Though, that skin was marred by several burns and shrapnel cuts. We all took bets on how long it would be before he lost his fingers. Or something else.

Then it turns out I’m the one who loses something. After that fact, I laughed up a storm. Didn’t win any money, but the irony was that I was the biggest investment on that betting pool.

Oh it hurt at the time, of course. When it happened, we were in the middle of nowhere. A desert with nothing around. We were in the middle of a purge of a radical cell that had been our allies but then turned around and dealt under the table in secret information. Our bosses didn’t appreciate that. So Ulysses and I went in at dead of night and began the cleaning.

One of them had the brilliant idea to sleep with a bomb under their bed and it was rigged to a dead-man switch. He wanted to make sure his body was disposed of should he somehow wake-up dead. Well, when my left arm went plunging a knife in his throat and his heartbeat stopped, boom! I was just lucky it was a poorly made improvised device. It was more directed, aiming to blow his torso to bits and then ignite a fire. So it ripped my arm at the elbow and sent it packing. We were also lucky he was the last one and the fire it made did a lot of work for us. But I don’t remember much afterwards. Ulysses pulled me to safety and carried me back to our rendezvous point after treating my arm.

He could have left me for dead. I’m glad he didn’t. A reason why he became my best friend! But… years later, I thought back to this moment and thought that he should have left me for dead after what he did…

Thorne stood out in the courtyard in the bright sun. Silver stood beside him, yawning. “What is this surprise…?” She asked, shielding her tired eyes. He had not only woke her up but he also told her to leave her sunglasses inside. Which she had swore at him in her tongue for such a thing as the sun was blinding if she looked up. It hurt enough to be outside during the day even with the shades. Without them, she couldn’t open her eyes. He had thoughtfully brought an umbrella, however, and hadn’t left her side.

He had a satchel at his hip. One that was garnering her attention. Thorne reached into the satchel while offering her the umbrella. “Here. Hold this.” She took the umbrella with a quizzical look as he went digging into the bag. “I have a few toys I made that I wanted to try out. Little inventions from my world that should work here. Took several nights to get the chemicals right. But first… This!”

He knelt before her. She squinted as he reached out and put something on her head. She recoiled at the touch but then found her eyes being protected by a pair of shaded goggles. They fit perfectly over her face and eyes. He sat there a moment, adjusting a strap on the side so it was comfortably fit to her head.

“There!” He beamed. “Adjustable and transitional.” He would flick the lenses up, showing that there were two sets of them. The darker tinted set merely flipped up and allowed for normal vision. “So, you can go from bright light to low light in seconds. I also managed to get the materials to make one for Dusk. Of course, I think if you approve of them, you could get them mass produced for all thestrals.”

He stood back up and dusted his knees. “I seriously can’t believe you all haven’t thought of something so simple. And even wearing protective shades that didn’t strap to your head? I mean, some of you had that, I’m sure. But not standard issue? That’s just laziness.” He shuffled slightly and reached for the umbrella. He did her a favor of flicking the lenses down again while she was stunned by the gift and closed the umbrella.

Silver flinched away. She felt the light all over her body, but her eyes remained unharmed. Steadily she opened them and peered through the dark lenses. She blinked and shifted her head, looking all around.

Thorne smirked. “They’re Wonderbolt grade lenses, by the way. Able to resist high wind forces. And I personally made sure they’re scratch resistant. Go ahead and try them out!”

Silver didn’t need to be told twice. The thestral mare was in the air in an instant. She had snapped from her groggy state the moment her eyes were protected. She went into a high speed routine, dashing back and forth as quickly as her wings would carry her. Thorne stood in awe as she even threw in some breakneck turns and banks that would have made professional pilots go out like lights. It concluded with her rushing at him. He didn’t flinch as she skidded to a stop before him. Wind ruffled his hair a few seconds once she stopped and he let out an impressed whistle.

Suddenly he flinched back as a pair of hooves went around his neck in a hug. Her movements were quick and took him by surprise. A simple flap of wings and her barrel was against his chest. “Wha-?!” “Thank you!” Silver exclaimed. Thorne chuckled and gave a gentle hug back. “Yeah. No problem, Silver. Glad you enjoyed it.” She broke the hug and landed back on the ground. Thorne just smiled.

‘Probably just gave her a tool to use against me… But it was nice to get a hug.’

With the help of government money and technology, I was able to engineer a new arm. Biotech like it was still rather in its infancy, but never underestimate mad scientists with a dream. They shoved some wires into nerves then took my motorized contraption and shoved it on the metal nub at the end of my stump. Worked like a very painful charm!

Due to that experiment working, I was able to continue to serve. I still had two more years to go. Two uneventful years. Same old, same old. More wounds and scars acquired. Had to be a little more cautious as a black robotic arm stands out in a crowd and makes you easily recognizable. Other than that? Not much to tell. Was twenty-three when I left with a massive check. They basically gave us the idea to form a mercenary group.

So we did! Ulysses at my side as my right hand man, we formed the Black Roses. Got the tattoo of the logo shortly after. I could regale these pages with all the tales and mischief we got up too, but I’m already overextending this. And it was more of the same. Kill someone or go guard some pretentious somebody. Of course we also got up to very illegal things. But we stuck to a code. Not to say life before Black Roses was perfectly legal, but now we had to watch out for ourselves.

It was liberating. Truly felt like we had no real collars aside from the ones we put on ourselves. I still had no idea where to go in life, but I was enjoying what I did. I enjoyed life itself. Fantastic food, delicious drink, wonderful women-- I indulged myself. I deserved it, didn’t I? It was also when I started going back to my roots of religion. Or rather, to spit on my father’s spirit, I went to studious lengths in the occult. It actually fascinated me as a topic because humanity clung to such things.

We were so much better than gods. We were gods. Yet we continued to worship these beings that we thought existed. In our darkest hour, we all find something to cling to. And I bet that is the same for ponies.

I wonder if Discord is actually worshipped in some way? Or Cadence? Twilight, maybe? Celestia and Luna seem to be revered for the simple fact of moving the heavenly bodies...

If I prayed to them… would they hear me?

The loud snap of a bow string and the clank of metal echoed in the courtyard. Several guards, Silver, Celestia, and Luna, all bore witness to the test-firing of the weapon that Thorne had been developing. The metal bolt went soaring several hundred feet and smashed into the straw-laced target dummy, sending it toppling back a few more feet as the momentum was absorbed.

Without stuttering, Thorne lowered the deadly end of the crossbow down. He worked with speed and precision, getting the motions down faster and faster each time. The crank was extended and he quickly tightened the string back. Once it locked, the crank was distended. He pulled a bolt from the quiver, pulled the weapon up, nocked, and aimed with the improvised sight. With a pull of the trigger, another screaming bolt went into the next target.

“Works perfectly!” He exclaimed after lowering the weapon, looking about. “Should have enough force to knock anything from the sky. Maybe even pierce dragonhide.” He said to himself as he looked about to a sea of concerned faces. “I wonder what the maximum accuracy distance is. That target had to be, what, eighty yards? A hundred? It still had a lot of power given that the target went tumbling…” He was talking to himself, mostly, not caring if anyone was listening.

“That thing is a siege weapon and he wields it like that with no magic, sister…” Luna said aloud. Thorne’s attention went straight to her. It sent a shiver down her spine.

“That’s the point, Lulu.” He grinned. “Behold what a human can do! Give me a few more days and I’ll show you something else just as impressive.”

‘You’ve not seen anything yet. Just wait until all my gear is done.’

Life in the Black Roses was great. We had a staff of thirty people! I could remember their names and faces. It was always a tragedy when we lost someone. We tried to keep the staff at thirty at all times. Of course, we would send various groups and teams out to various things. And I always was a part of our more shady business dealings. It all went through me. I was busy. I could handle it though. This is where ‘Lord’ came in. They started calling me ‘Lord’ because I referred to myself as a noble dealing with peasant complaints. Of course I always carried myself as one. I was the most professional out of our staff. I had to be, since I was in charge!

Since we had actual ranks tied to us, I was referred to in the field as ‘Major Thorne’. I found it funny. Ulysses was my captain. We did everything together just like always.

It was the happiest time of my life. I wouldn’t say I had a reason to live, but it was something. My own nugget of joy that I could enjoy every single day. I… became callous to others dying by my hands. Something I’ll atone for, I’m sure. But I always kept true to my personal beliefs. I endured and adapted. That would become my motto.

Then, one night, all my joy was ripped out from under me. I was twenty-eight at the time. Two years prior to my summoning to Equestria.

Thorne stared at the table. He looked to Steel Cuirass. “It’s all done? All of it?”

The stallion nodded. “Mhm. It took a while, but it’s all there. And these are the pride and joy.” With that, the unicorn used his magic to levitate a case before Thorne and onto the table. Thorne wasted no time in opening it.

Two large daggers rested atop a stained-black leather belt with sheathes. Thorne felt his heartbeat as he stared at the shining steel. To a pony, these looked like short-swords. Broad and thick. Simplistic in design but efficient. Two sharp edges and a point for stabbing. The hilt was a slightly curved T-shape, meant for catching other bladed weapons. The handles were wrapped in the same black leather.

He took them in his hands and felt the world fall away. The weight of them was perfect--just as he requested. He stepped away for a moment, flipping them back and forth in his fingers, switching his grip-stance. Thorne took several quick thrusts and slices. The air itself was split asunder and it made his hair stand up.

“They’re perfect, Steel…” The man said with a wicked tone. “And everything else looks to be in order. I’ll give it a test run tomorrow. Cutting the deadline close, aren’t we? I’ve got five days to get accustomed to the gear.”

“Sorry about that sir. We’re used to working with ponies. But everything is as you requested. Honestly, we were all excited at the prospect of seeing you in all this gear. We want to see it in use. It’s a lot to wrap yourself in and some were taking bets that you can’t possibly move around in it all.”

Thorne smirked. “We’ll see.”

Two years. That’s what it took.

Dear reader, have you ever been betrayed by your real and only friend? Someone who you saw as family? Someone who had saved your life? Someone who you would have gone to the ends of the world for?

That is what happened. Ulysses betrayed me. Tore apart what we built. The Black Roses went belly up and scattered to the winds. Not only him, but ten members of our staff plus him. Those were the ones who betrayed me. Since he had a major controlling share in the business, all he needed was our third in charge to get to his side. And he got that. It took the two of them to out me. He had been planning it for at least a year.

I… I wanted so badly to break my rules. To go after their friends and family. I wanted to make them all suffer. He took my happiness. Traitors deserve to suffer. Betrayal begets the worst punishments! He left me for dead! They even killed the rest of my staff! Burned our offices to the ground!

And it was all for money. Money that we had. Money we were making. But he wanted more! He wanted to run the show. He thought he could do more on his own.

He betrayed me for another reason, of course. To clear his own name. He already had a criminal record. One that apparently wasn’t purged with his service. And that list had been growing and growing. And now the International Police were after him.

He merely changed their scope. I was the one who got pinned for all of our criminal activity. It’s only fair, I committed those crimes. I helped plan them. I helped carry them out. The only reason we even did the more criminal contracts was because I enjoyed doing them. They were fun! Something about sticking it to the establishment…

Maybe I should speak to someone about my issues with my father and how that went over to me committing crimes against any authority…

It took four days. He had cut it incredibly close. It took four days to get accustomed to the weight and move around in it. It was almost as heavy as tactical gear from his previous life. Though this was far more covering in terms of armor. And far less breathable.

It was bright under Celestia’s sun. They had actually prepared an area for him with several unicorn magi in order to grant him moving targets. Target’s that would fight back against him. They would summon shadows that he could slay with impunity. He now stood in the middle of an arena with bleachers abounding on the sides.

“You sure I can go all out?” Thorne shouted to the three princesses that now watched. The entirety of Canterlot seemed to be in attendance. “You all really summoned everyone you could to watch this, didn’t you?!”

Celestia tittered. “You made it seem like it was a spectacle!” Her voice boomed back. “And yes! Do your worst! The objects you fight will not give any feedback to the casters.”

“If you insist…!” Thorne replied. “Give me a moment. When you see me pull my hood up, you may start!”

The man reached into his protective cloth that covered his neck and pulled a fabric mask up over his nose and mouth. He took a deep breath to adjust himself with the motion of breathing through the minor filter. He rolled his shoulders afterwards, the leathers creaking in the motions.

His body was covered in black. He wore an outward duster that had the sleeves cut from it. It was durable and resistant to water--something he had tested. Normal cloth clothes covered his body, all died black.

Atop the clothing sat his armor. His right arm was protected by a vambrace with steel on the forearm and elbow, with leather allowing flexibility and protection to his wrist and inner-arm. His shoulders had a pair of small steel pauldrons that were rounded and connected to the chest piece. The gaps in the armor were protected by a tight-fitting chain-mail shirt he wore under the leather lining.

He was proud of the chest piece he had come up with. Shaped and conformed bands of steel sat atop the leather. It had been made in such a way that it covered a good portion of his gut and would allow more precise motion of his torso when performing maneuvers. The chest and the back were made with the same general design.

At his hips rested the belt and the daggers in their sheathes. The crossbow rested easily on his back with the thing slung upside down and pointed downward, making it easy to pull the handgrip and snap the breakaway buckle that held it to his back. In order to put it away, he’d need to remove his duster and strap it back in, but this was on purpose. In combat, speed was essential. Putting things away came afterwards. The same thing applied to the pouches that adorned his leather leggings. Easily ripped open in order to use the items that they hid. The armor covered a major portion of his thighs with leather and steel. Steel knee pads protected his knees and they connected into knee-high boots. A long steel shin-guard went down to the foot. There was a slight heel to the boots he wore, but the careful eye could see how stiff the toes of the boots were. They, too, were reinforced with metal.

At last he felt ready. He felt protected and safe. His mind began to play that familiar music for him and he felt at peace.

‘Let’s give them a show if they so demand it. Remember, you all asked for this.’

“Hold nothing back! If you do, I will know! And I’ll hurt you for insulting me!” Thorne roared from under the mask, his tone deathly serious. His hood went up. Golden eyes gleamed from under them. The crowd went silent at the threat, but now was held in captivation.

The unicorns seemed to gulp at that but obeyed Celestia who nodded to commence. They all set about their task, summoning shades of ponies. Thorne was impressed, they didn’t hold anything back at the start. He wondered how much magic creating puppets consumed.

He counted a contingent of nine guards, all surrounding an alicorn that stood in the middle. Ten enemies. Three pegasi floated above, three unicorns, and three earth ponies stood in formation around the make-shift VIP. Their weapons and armor looked very real and protective, even if they were just shades. All of them stood at the ready to come under assault, faces focused on the assailant.

The unicorn shadows wasted no time, launching several spells at the human before them. Thorne’s eyes went wide as magic manifested itself. Real magic. A wall of flame went rushing toward him, sending him running to the left in a panic. The crowd erupted in cheers and laughter as the human was forced to flee, sprinting away with his body ducked low. He began to follow the circle of the arena, endangering those in the crowd. Or he would have, if magical barriers didn’t keep the fireballs from hitting anypony.

One hand reached under his duster, toward a satchel that sat against his rump. He palmed something as he ran. His circle suddenly cut right at the group. The barrage didn’t let up. Instead he dipped completely under one fireball and used the energy in his legs to spring into the air, avoiding the next one that came. In the same motion, he slung the object in his palm into the group. His eyes closed as he waited for the result.

A deafening bang and a blinding flash erupted as the object struck the ground before the alicorn shadow. The screech of Luna echoed in the barrier-protected crowd, “Was that magic?!”

Thorne landed in the group and drew his blades. The cheering crowd went silent as the human dashed from unicorn to dazed unicorn, blades effortlessly cutting just under their jaws where the helmets ended. They were deep and ripping, precise in their targets to cause as much bleeding in as little time as possible. It was a sickening ballet of carnage that lasted only seconds.

Once they were dealt with, he tossed another pellet from his hand. A plume of smoke erupted around the alicorn and the earth ponies that were left standing. From the smoke Thorne dashed out, daggers back in their sheathes. Instead, in his fingers, several arrow-shaped knives sat between his digits. His arms went slinging, throwing the knives at the confused pegasi. Their wings did nothing but stir the smoke that lingered, keeping it on the field longer.

One by one their comrades were pierced and fell to the ground. While it wasn’t entirely fatal, he had mostly found his placements to be accurate. And now that they had been dealt with, the smoke settled heavily, the particulates that made it thick and hard to breathe in now falling to the ground.

Again his daggers were drawn. With another rush, he took out one earth pony before the two others could get their spears into him. He leapt back a few feet to regain his advantage. The alicorn, however, took to the air and unleashed a torrential ice spell at the human.

Instead of retreating, the human rushed forward in a gambit. He took one of his daggers and threw it at one earth pony, forcing them to break from their defensive formation. In that instant, he stepped into the other, dodging the spear strike with ease and diving the dagger into their jaw. Just as the other was recovering, Thorne set upon them with the remaining dagger he had left. With a strike to the nose with a fist, he slipped behind the pony and got them into a headlock, the dagger threatening to plunge into their throat.

His scheme paid off as the alicorn ceased their spell for fear of hitting the last standing guard. He had a hostage, but it came to a standstill. The alicorn attempted to get behind him, but he quickly backed himself to the corner of the magical cage. The flying shade went to the ground at a distance and began to approach, horn charging a spell.

Under the mask, Thorne smiled. It was all a fluid motion like a practiced dance as he stepped forward. The dagger met the pony’s throat and sliced. He spun next and ducked, tucking into a roll. His left dropped the dagger and his right grabbed his crossbow. The left hand went diving behind him, grabbing a bolt. As he came out of the roll, a discharge of lightning went crackling overhead that was aimed directly at his face not moments beforehand. The roll finished and he slammed home the bolt.

A click of the trigger. The shriek of the string. And then the sound of a bolt striking into something not-quite-flesh. The alicorn was sent staggering back and then fell.

The unicorn magi all collapsed in exhaustion once the spell faded. The barrier shattered like glass, it piercing the silence that had befallen the crowd. Thorn reached up and pushed his hood back and tugged the mask down. A twisted, evil grin was plastered on his face. He let the crossbow go limp and rested it against the ground. He stepped to the center of the arena and faced the seats the princesses held.

He gave a ceremonial bow to end the demonstration.

I didn’t mind it, truthfully. I would have forgiven him, if he hadn’t taken everything else from me. I could avoid the police. Or maybe just bribe them off. Who knows? It hurt deeply, what he did. And for those two years, I hunted him and the other ten. One by one they all started to meet gruesome ends.

All the wounds done by daggers. They would know it was me. That I survived. And because I started going after them, the world’s police started hunting me in earnest again after the first victim came to light.

For two years I hunted them like animals. For two years I eked out an existence for vengeance. Two years of everything taken from me. Money and power was useless. My name meant nothing. I was a wanted man who was destined to be put to death. I had accepted it in those two years. Nothing else mattered.

It didn’t end until my best friend was dead at my feet.

I won’t lie. I wept. I cried like a child for the first time in years. Blood on my hands and my hands on my face. Crimson-stained tears dripping onto a lifeless body. His last words to me were ‘I’m sorry’.

I wish he had never uttered them.

The demonstration the princesses had brought together ended with everyone distraught about what their new human visitor had done to a bunch of pony-like conjurations. Princess Luna had doubted his ability and cunning. Princess Celestia had wanted to make a show of it to gauge him and to gauge how her ponies would react. Princess Twilight and her friends had found the carnage to be brutal and unforgiving, yet intriguing.

Silver was astounded at how he moved. It stirred her feelings on the strange stallion and excited her in a confusing way. The itch to duel him in order to see who was better clawed at her. Something told her that it would be a duel for keeps and with his repertoire of ‘toys’, he would win. The Nightmother had first thought it was magic, but swiftly came to the conclusion that Silver had--it was a chemical bomb that let a loud bang and flash to disorientate. His weeks of study and alchemical testing had paid off in dividends. This knowledge, however, didn’t dissuade; it made the feeling burn hotter.

She made her way down the hallway, wanting to speak to her travelling companion now that the evening had grown late and the castle had cleared. When she came to his door, however, she found it slightly ajar. “Thorne…?” She called out and waited. When she got no response, she knocked. Nothing came again. Courtesy told her to leave it. Instinct told her to inspect.

She pushed the door open gently and stepped inside. She closed it behind her. The gentle sound of water could be heard from the bathroom and the sound of the occupant humming a mournful tune. Silver shrugged and turned to leave until something caught her eye.

His armor, clothing, and weapons all sat on the dresser, ready to be put back on. His travelling supplies all rested on the ground in a pack next to it. But on the desk not a few hooves away, one of the two books she had noticed him carrying with him. Her mind recalled the night he was telling her of a journal he was writing in.

Her eyes darted to the bathroom. Then back to the journal. She fought her instincts, her training, and her upbringing all at once. Before she could come to a real decision, she was standing before the bound pages and had opened it. She couldn’t resist the urge to read. The preamble of the thing made her heart sink. ‘A year…?’ She continued on, speeding through it. Silver became engrossed in the first few paragraphs.

“Damien…” she said aloud.

“You do not say that name unless you’re prepared for the demon it invokes,” Thorne idly said, startling her to the point of launching into the air. “I was starting to like you, Nightshade. But you just violated a lot of privacy. That isn’t something friends do, is it?” He was eerily calm as he approached.

Silver stared down at him with eyes wide in terror. She had completely lost herself in her invasion of his privacy. “Now wait! Wait! Thorne! I apologize! I was just curious!” She began to lose her Canterlot tone and gain her thestral accent. She also was trying to keep her eyes on his face as the man had just come from the shower, his body bare and still steaming.

“I step from the shower and decide to peer out because I heard a page turn and see you reading my journal, Nightshade. How much did you read…?” Thorne asked her. “And don’t bother with ‘Thorne’. We’re on a first name basis now, aren’t we?” He asked, the words stinging like barbs.

The thestral slowly lowered herself to the floor. Her eyes darted between the window and the door. She gulped and stared at him defiantly. She had left her weapons behind and could now only rely on speed should she needed to get away. But she had seen how fast he was. He could be on top of her before she had the lift to fly. “I know your birthday is coming in a few months. And that your childhood was… awful.”

Thorne sighed. “So not very far, then… Mmm, what am I to do with you…?” He gave a hum as he cornered her. The human squatted down and stared into her face. “You know what? I think I know. Stay still and enjoy this.”

“What are you--!!” She gave a meek noise as fingers from his right hand played with a furry ear.

“One: I know you’re not going to geld me for this. Two: You secretly really enjoy this but clearly it's an intimacy thing. Three: You’re lucky I’m in a great mood or this? This wouldn’t be happening. You’re also very lucky you have a wonderful son. I don’t think I could take his mother from him. So you understand, right?” Thorne spoke sternly.

The thestral nodded in response, fidgeting under the torment. Thorne merely chuckled darkly at the reaction. “I’m glad I’m understood. Honestly? I figured this would happen, just didn’t think it would happen this soon. Should have known better.” His fingers went to the other ear. “You know what I am. I know what you are. I know that Tia, Lulu, Twi, and even Caddie likely know and expect me. It isn’t hard to figure out. But everywhere I turn there seems to be friendship waiting for me. And I can’t figure out if it’s all a ploy or if it’s genuine. Even the world itself seems to rise up to tell me something and I guess I'm so distrustful, I can't help but turn a blind eye...”

He sighed. “With you? I thought maybe it was the start of something genuine. Though a part of me wondered if you operated by the same rules of ‘no seducing targets’ that I do. Not that you’ve tried to seduce me, but who knows. Most midnight rendezvous are ‘just friends’, you know.” He shrugged and pulled his fingers away.

Silver gave a huff. “It’s genuine. We just want to know why. And can maybe steer you away from it.”

Thorne rolled his eyes. “I see. Well then. Want to try to repair this friendship?”

“Yes.”

“Do not call me Damien--”

“Unless I’m ready to invoke what it means, ya.”

“I was going to say ‘unless it’s dire’ but okay. I’ll know you’re serious. It’ll be like a code between us. Just like when I call you ‘Nightshade’. Sounds good, Silvy?” He smirked like an asshole at the little nickname.

“You are not… Ugh. Fine.”

“Excellent. So, Silvy, you want to know why. But I cannot speak any words about it. And if I show any evidence, I might die. Even being vague like this could be heard by unseen forces and I might keel over in a second.” He paused, looking around the room. “I’m not dead yet, so… I’m trusting you, as a friend, to not kill me where I stand if I show you. If I die, well, then… I guess it was nice meeting you.”

“You’re going to risk your life?!”

“I’ve been a dead man for a long time coming. I’m trusting you when you say that they want to help and be my friend. It’s been a wild month.”

Before she could protest, Thorne brought his fingers over his heart and raked away at the illusion, summoning forth the curse mark. The moment she saw it, Silver gasped. There burned into his chest was a centaur rune. It looked like an upside-down ‘G’ with a line struck through it diagonally from right to left.

He suddenly had a hoof to his chest and a mare in his face. “Nin-rotcul!” She pressed herself against him. “You keep that hidden from everyone else for now!” She had a panic in her voice that he hadn’t heard before. “Prust! Aste e rah! Damien, I’m so sorry! Rot, it all makes sense now… The year!”

‘Well I did say dire… That’s on me.’ Thorne just smirked. “I’m glad it didn’t trigger…”

“Ya, me too!... We need the princesses’ help. But it may trigger if they see it. Or are notified of it… I… Fuck.”

“Wow, that’s the first time I’ve heard you swear. At least not in your language. I kind of want to hear you say more swears in a language I understand but with that accent.”

She rolled her eyes and shoved him as she backed off. “But you’ve got a year before… what must be done? Have you… thought about what that entails?”

“I have. A lot. And I’m still... debating it. I wasn’t at first, but you all kept insisting I turn the frown upside down! But I have several questions that need to be answered. And now you see why I resist friendship and happiness. It makes it all that harder.”

Silver nodded. “We will find a way to fix this. This is our secret.”

“Year-long partnership, go!” He teased. “Now. I’m cold and still mildly wet. So I am going to fix that first. You’ve gotten enough of a show. Out with you.”

“And here I remember you saying I’d go into bliss upon seeing you naked. More lies!” She teased right back. She gave him a smile. “I’m glad you are so lax about this and are making jokes.”

“You looked tense and scared. I’ve accepted what this is, so as your friend, I should try to ease your mind.” He chuckled and grabbed a towel. “This is going to be an interesting adventure, I can already tell. But for now, go rest. Good night, Nightshade.”

She hung her head but accepted his words. She nodded and trotted to the door, glancing back to him one last time. “Good night, Damien.”

I left a note and a tape on the body. It wouldn’t be long. I told the authorities where to find me. I admitted to everything on the tape. I gave up. I gave them a time, a date, and what to do in order to get to me. I made it clear I wouldn’t be there before the time and date. They would set people watching the little complex I had rented, of course. And like clockwork, I was there at the time and date.

The instructions were clear. That if they wanted me, they would take me while I slept. And if they were smart, they’d kill me. Because if I woke up, everyone in that room would die and I’d walk away.

And then magic happened.

That night, I slipped into the bed to go to sleep for the last time. Naked as could be. And as I got comfortable and was about to slip into that sleep, I found myself slipping instead through a portal.

Right into the loving arms of a centaur. And my new life in Equestria. I was branded in some way. The threat it brought makes it hard to describe it. Makes it hard to fight it and explore it. But I suppose that is why it’s a good chain to put on a slave. Magic... I need to find a way to counter it.

The rest of this journal I’ll fill out with snippets of my year-long journey. Thoughts and ideas and questions in need of answers as well as tales of a rapscallion rogue from my point of view. I’ve covered my past enough. As of writing this, tomorrow I start heading to the Crystal Empire with Silver in tow. I have more questions than answers in my head, but all I can do is move forward. Maybe I’ll find some answers out on the road.

Endure and adapt.